Does process mean something?

[tormod]

Dear Raul

Obviously you are in this moment at a turning point. A point of realization and change - If you will it so.

I would look at what you experienced listening to the file - for any reactions/thoughts coming up to forgive.

When it comes to expression and energy, this takes time to understand and "gett" it with the balance of mind, being and body.
I look at energy like physical and metaphysical. First the physical is my body the physical, my heart, my lunges, my liver, my blood, my muscles, my bones etc. The body ! LOL

THAT is my reference of the "real" energy of and as myself. If we look at metaphysical energy now that is quite something else. Metaphysical energy (is to me) is suuuper tiny parts of my muscles - that is being cut out/of, that is being "mined out" of my body, and that tiny tiny particle (from this self sabotage and hurt of self) is then the feeling and emotion and thought energy. (This process is why we age)

So the feeling/emotional energy (metaphysical energy) is really simply fake and a illusion- and also self abuse. But I can still laugh and enjoy with my PHYSICAL energy starting point - my body !! And birth life from that source - to be really creative and genuine in my expression.

So yes after you get to hear/see this in the recording I would say yes there are parts of you that you leave behind (shedd of skin) - and from standing at that point it is very dark... I know. But what is darkness really ? Darkness is ONLY parts of me that I have not yet discovered.

So be patient with self, nobody said it was easy - but it is only as hard as we make it. Understanding energy is quite a concept. You will see this if you chose life and self forgiveness. To forgive the reaction to darkness and believes about energy - and the parts of self, mind, being and body that you have yet to discover.

[ingridschaefer]

Something I pick up in your message Raul, is that you are taking the end goal of 'existing without energy' as something that should be here right now and because you see that this is not the case, connecting this to 'the message of/as Desteni' and doubting the whole message. So what I see, is that there is a realness in what you write and experience and an excuse as well.

The realness is that we indeed will not be able to in one moment, will be motivated without any energy anymore and things that we like. This because our mcs is integrated within our physical body and so it is a process to walk through all the layers and bring the energy back and redefine into a physical/self-expression.
The excuse in it is the questioning of the process and message of Desteni as a whole; which is an excuse, or let's say 'trick' from who we are in/as the mind, to then 'not even start' the whole process because 'does it mean anything' to do so?

Practically, what I have done for myself, is once that I have seen for myself in self-honesty that the message (Desteni) as a whole contains all and everything and so, I made the decision to 'take on' the whole message and All aspects of it as 'real' - this was the start of my Desteni I Process 7 years ago. However this doesnot mean that I can now in one moment, embrace all and everything in it. We have all many points to walk through and so, this takes time. For example, 7 years ago I felt like my world collapsing when a partner would not be in my life anymore, like 'it doesnot make any sense anymore' as my whole life would not make sense. Knowing ofcourse that this is not real, but experiencing it as such. So I started walking this and wrote about it many blogs and lessons and timelines and after 5 years, needed to walk the whole thing in physical reality and 2 years later, coming again on the same point without the partner, now more stable in it - where I noticed I had build a foundation within myself as something worthwhile to build my life on - but still experiencing the same energies releasing of 'it doesnot make sense anymore' etc. What I mean by this example is that if I would have forced myself to in one time 'let go of everything' I would have go into a striong resistance and not even started, because it is not realistic to approach it as such.

Practical I would say that you can use for example your guitar playing to see how it motivates you, what it gives, what you can express in it, how you can redefine it into a living expression, something that you can stand within and as, so explore the energies coming up while walking what you like and focus on considering as much aspects/dimensions as you are able to in that moment (I mean so that you will consider the effect on yourself and others within a starting-point of what is best for self/all).

And while doing so - as how is mentioned in other comments and how I describe here above of where and how I did this - there is a decision needed of what you want to walk in this life.

With regards to your wondering if Bernard would sing and how it would sound etc; I find the music and voice of Cerise (and especially 'Fire' as my favorite ) a great example (and perhaps for the singers under us, an inspiration) of the depth and what and how music can be of support to process and to 'what is best for all'. Her voice is touching 'me' deepy within. But can look out for other mucisions as well who have this for you, within Desteni and also in general and on what level etc.

https://eqafe.com/series/20-robot-virgin-music

Take care!

[Raúl]

I just can't follow that path right now, if I was dead at least, and had no love or passion towards anything, it would be easy, but what I feel with music is very intense and I feel it's a chance for me, to enter into this world and express myself wether it is bad energy or not, wether I am fake for you or not, it will be myself because it is something that I don't have a choice about, and it's not only that but people are with me in that, it's not like they reject me, or I abuse them, or anything like that, at least it doesn't seem so, but since it is energy, I guess for you it will always be like that. It's not like I don't care about people, or this world, or I am an useless person for existence, or I can't see that the information in eqafe is very good for everybody, but at this moment of my life I make the decition of expressing myself. And I really meant it, if I hadn't known music, if I had never existed, if I had never had any interest in finding something that feels real for myself between all this chaos, it would be easy for me to hear what you say, but I just have a different god. For me it is not any particular energy, it's the point of creation of the energy, because I move the energy itself, I am not within the energy, I am the point that creates the energy, and that's what I try to show to people and share with them, not the energy experience I am having, but the fact that it is created, that it is me creating it, I can create it, it is who I am. And to be honest I have never attached this to anything, attention or superiority or anything like that, even if I could use it to please myself, and in some ways I have done it because I have had inferiorities superiorities and those kinds of things, the point real for me and that I knew it was the source of everything was myself, like when you see a chance within yourself and you take it, it is not about what you attach to it afterwards, but about the fact that you created it within yourself, it always existed before you, therefore to believe that you are what you desire to make of the experience, it's lying to yourself, you are the experience itself. Well this is who I am right now, thanks for sharing everybody, I wish you the best, I have made my decition (I haven't rejected my process in anyway, just making myself clear about this point of it).
Anyway, will do more investigations in relation to those kinds of interviews in the furure

[Leila]

Hey Raul,

From my perspective you're facing some obstacles that boil down to vocabulary being different -- and within that, not being able to distinguish between 'what's what'. For now, I would suggest that you let go of trying to understand what is expression as life and what is energy as emotions and feelings. Just take note that there is a difference, and allow yourself to keep walking your process and taking in more material (which will assist in specifying your vocabulary in terms of process) and trust you will find out and see.

Have to remember that Anu and co. created all their systems, the 'matrix' on basis of what was already here. For instance emotions and feelings as energies are a 'perverted' form of expression. It has life form as its basis but gets transmuted into energy (just like sound substance 'split' into frequency in the interview you mentioned). So in a way they took something that was real, and layered it with coding so that it would go through that and come out 'corrupted' - yet we believe that what we get and experience is 'the real deal', while we're actually only getting a reflection, a distorted mirror version of 'the real deal'. That may also be a reason why you may consider it hard to 'put aside all feelings and emotions' - because on some level you know and understand, that there is a sense of 'truth' behind it. The thing is that to get to that truth, we have to go beyond the thoughts, emotions and feelings on the surface - and see where within ourselves we allowed expressions to misalign. So in essence, every emotion and feeling gives us an opportunity to look into an expression of ourselves that is not in harmony, but wants to come and be in alignment with Life / what is best for all. It's our responsibility to ourselves to identify where we're allowing our expression to be corrupted and take on the form of emotions and feelings. Within that, our mind is our greatest gift, as it essentially encompasses an entire map/plan of all our weaknesses we need to work on in a systematic and structural format. This doesn't mean that when you transcend emotions and feelings that you will be a zombie - quite the contrary - you will actually be more alive.

In reading every person's response, keep in mind that each is writing and placing information on the forum coming from their perspective, from where' they are at in their process and the vocabulary they use / have specified for themselves. So instead of taking all the responses and seeing them all as 'one' and they're either 'all true' or 'not' and are not allowed to be 'conflicting' - see each post or comment from each person as a side/fraction from a diamond, each person adding in different facets that you can use to bring together the whole picture for yourself.

[Gabriel]

From my perspective you're facing some obstacles that boil down to vocabulary being different -- and within that, not being able to distinguish between 'what's what'. For now, I would suggest that you let go of trying to understand what is expression as life and what is energy as emotions and feelings. Just take note that there is a difference, and allow yourself to keep walking your process and taking in more material (which will assist in specifying your vocabulary in terms of process) and trust you will find out and see.

May I suggest Raùl that you continue with walking the Desteniiprocess Lite course as that will assist you with the points that Leila mentioned as well.

[YoganBarrientos]

Hey Raul, it seems Singing is something very important to you and you ask whether Bernard sang. We'll, I have sang music. Anyone can sing. But who can sing in the moment and enjoy it fully without energy? So I recorded several songs on youtube where I sang for fun Karaoke. Some of them are unlisted and here I share them with you below. Singing is something physical, you physically do with the air in your lungs, the physical muscles in your throat, and you enjoy physically. You smile and laugh about it which are also physical things. I suggest you meditate more on this point of the physical and what it encompasses. The Physical encompasses the entire physical reality. Sex even. Food even. Water. Have you ever drank a cup of water slowly and enjoyed it? Really do it slow, feel the water slipping down your throat, the cool of it. Or enjoy the sensation of sand between your toes. Or enjoy a nice hot bath. This you can all do without energy and mind, do you see Raul? Singing is the same thing, BUT you have to tear about the energy from singing.

If you look at me singing in my videos, I'm not sure anyone can tell if I am within energy or not, but I KNOW that I am not in energy. I know that I am expressing like an innocent child enjoying the sound of his own voice without care of sounding good or bad, or how people perceive me. Can you relate to this as a singer? Can you enjoy the sound of your own voice like a child? Just have Fun?

Investigate this for yourself Raul. You can't get their with arguing, or discussion, or philosophy. Its something you have to unconditionally try, and also Remember and be open to.

Losing my religion https://youtu.be/XB8N9BtmUME

Creep https://youtu.be/jP95Ae34Dx8

Ring of Fire https://studio.youtube.com/video/HqX2z_9aSzo/edit

Don't Stop Beliving https://youtu.be/vmr6zXcccWg

Playing God https://youtu.be/suKia2k6li8

I said positive energy is bad, because that is my relation to it. Whenever its immediately here and I recognize it as positive energy I SHUT IT DOWN. But there are sensations within me that are DIFFERENT than positive energy. The only way I know its different is because I have worked in stopping positive energy within me. So I do allow myself to investigate. For me, in the beginning of process it was very clear that my depression and anger were all connected to the highs I experienced. So I was quick to be wary of positive energy. And it helped me to call it bad, or just the same as negative energy. If negative energy is bad, than so is positive energy. Positive energy is the disguised and deceptive nature of abuse. If you look at HOM how heaven was essentially way more dishonest than all the demons, who were first to walk process. So its reverse!!! The positive is way more deceptive/abusive. Anyway, both polarities must end. And it may help you in particular to walk a more physical process so you live some ENJOYMENT as the Physical body in Physical Expression, so you don't lose hope and believe your thoughts about this lie that you will be a Zombie. Its not so. Look at me and how I live and express in my videos. This is how I am in real life. I just play and express all the time. I just don't allow it to be done in energy. I push and I move. You can do it too, it just takes practice and doing forgiveness on energies.

[Raúl]

Hey Leila, thanks for the response. I quit tring to understand it because all I end up doing is killing my own expression in an attempt to understand it in relation to the opinion of the rest of destonians, in fact this is a pattern I have always had since I was a child, seeing that I am a peculiar human being within myself alone and then asking people if me considering this specific expression good for me is okay for them based on their own ideas they consider good for themselves, I choose to let it express itself and since it is who I am not try to control it, just let it be absolutely untouchable. But I do will take care of the rest of the work that there is to be done, which is the outflow ideas and perceptions I create from that experience, and making sure that those I do can control without killing them are self-honest and best for all, that is a fair deal for myself.
Yogan I really liked your videos, you have something special in your singing something that only you have, and if you learnt how to use the technique of singing for your voice, like, breathing diaphragm the throat and those kinds of things vocal coaches teache, you could develop a really cool sounding voice, since the feeling, ups! Sorry, the physical expression you already have it because of your confidence, why not give it a try expand who you are and even share that physical expression with people someday? Just making a suggestion because I like singing and art in general and always like to encourage people to develop it even more to see if there are even more things hidden in there.
Thanks everyone for their support, desteni is a genuine group and I always like things that are real and move because of themselves and not motivated by money, greed or these kind of things. Will keep investigating the desteni material since there is a lot more for me to discover, thanks and bye!

[Raúl]

Hey Laila, I’d like to clarify with what I meant by zombie if being out of the polarity. What I meant is that the very definition of purpose implies value, as a relation between good and bad, what I personally have experienced when stopping that is that I go into voids of emptiness because there is just... nothing. The very definition of life implies action, reality. Reality implies purpose and purpose implies polarity. The good side of it is that by stopping my mind fully I was able to aswell stop thoughts that were not beneficial to myself, I think this information may lead to confusion because some people like me believe the information literally, and that by itself it’s not bad, since it helps stopping what is already existing, but that for me is like half of the story. Anyway will keep investigating the lovely material of eqafe

[Raúl]

Hey Laila, I’d like to clarify with what I meant by zombie if being out of the polarity. What I meant is that the very definition of purpose implies value, as a relation between good and bad, what I personally have experienced when stopping that is that I go into voids of emptiness because there is just... nothing. The very definition of life implies action, reality. Reality implies purpose and purpose implies polarity. The good side of it is that by stopping my mind fully I was able to aswell stop thoughts that were not beneficial to myself, I think this information may lead to confusion because some people like me believe the information literally, and that by itself it’s not bad, since it helps stopping what is already existing, but that for me is like half of the story. Anyway will keep investigating the lovely material of eqafe