Depression- Self-Writing and Experiences

Ask questions related to your individual process or life in the experience of yourself and mind - pertaining to thoughts, emotions, feelings, behaviours, habits etc. This thread is dedicated to those who'd like to understand more about the inner-workings of your own mind and then effects of this on your life and relationships.
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Joined: 18 Jul 2011, 22:49

Depression- Self-Writing and Experiences

Post by tylersr »

Hi All,

As someone who suffered from depression for years and benefited immensely from the tools and resources created and shared by Destonians (in combination with more "conventional" treatments), I thought it might be useful to share my experience in finally putting distance between myself and permanent depression.

While retrospection reveals I've probably suffered symptoms of depression on and off since high school, I fell completely and utterly into it after I began college.

After dropping out and not still not being able to 'figure things out' I eventually realized something was wrong and sought psychological treatment. When one of the first therapists I saw suggested I had depression, I thought they must be wrong.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to believe I didn't have depression.

I forgive myself for not realizing that I accepted and allowed myself to be influenced by the beLIEf that antidepressants were bad. I was exposed to the idea that pharmaceuticals of all kinds were bad and specifically believed that the side effects of antidepressants were worse than the problem they were supposed to treat. I believed that depression wasn't even real but rather an affliction of the mind that required only a shift in perspective to realize and overcome. How wrong I was, both about what depression is and about the effectiveness (and dangers) of antidepressants. I must interject that I am not a doctor nor trained in psychiatry and am not providing medical advice as the details of people's depression and the reactions people can have to antidepressants vary.

Anyway, I was a pothead in a nearly constant state of altered bliss who couldn't understand how someone could just be sad.

I might have been suffering from depression for years before I even realized I had it.

I credit antidepressants for allowing me to get out of my hopeless perspective but it was the tools of Desteni which helped me see the patterns of my participation in my mind also to change them.

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Re: Depression- Self-Writing and Experiences

Post by Gabriel »

Great share Tyler,

Indeed when dealing with mental phenomena, we have to sometimes consider the extent to which the mind is integrated in the body and hence that we may require physical support - and within that nothing should be dismissed or judged from a startingpoint of morality.

As you say, what matters is that you find a way to move out of the deadlock you find yourself in, in combination with self-help tools and writing.

I have in my life also been dealing with depression and found that it relates to childhood and teenage years events on the one hand, and on the other hand to experiencing a lack of purpose in life. I have written extensively on those past memories - and still am working on them - and I have after my second visit to the farm in 2009 given my life a new direction and purpose. The key within this was to discuss my issues with someone who knew exactly what I was going through and who could suggest solutions and points to consider. For the memories, these I have primarily been working on through the DIP course.

I know that Joe Kou is offering one to one chats that help people with gaining clarity on deeper issues in their lives. May be worthwhile to reach out to him.

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Joined: 12 Jun 2011, 20:16

Re: Depression- Self-Writing and Experiences

Post by Marlen »

Hey Tyler, definitely cool that you are now able to see through that experience and also realizing that yes, anti-depressants are a bridge of support that through the use of the tools and your determination to get through it assists you to get to a point of clarity.

I also agree on reaching out to Joe on that regard, and in general realizing that depression is more of a symptom of not being living the potential that we know we can get to create and live, so this is another perspective to see that it may be a way for you to realize that you need to create a new path to develop yourself in your life, and yes needing to find out what you need to change and do in order to do so.

Taking the DIP Course is one way to also get to understand more about who you are and who you have become in a structural way that keeps you 'in track' in the many aspects that may emerge as you 'walk through your mind,' so keep that in consideration as well.

You can start with taking - again if you have already - the DIP Lite course to start developing the basics again and the writing habit on a daily basis as part of your self-support.

Keep at it and thanks for sharing :)

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