Question about destiny

Ask questions related to your individual process or life in the experience of yourself and mind - pertaining to thoughts, emotions, feelings, behaviours, habits etc. This thread is dedicated to those who'd like to understand more about the inner-workings of your own mind and then effects of this on your life and relationships.
Raúl
Posts: 341
Joined: 09 May 2017, 02:22

Question about destiny

Postby Raúl » 18 Dec 2019, 12:48

Tonight I couldn't sleep, because I didn't want to go to sleep with my mind. So I kept resting. Then this ball of light within my third eye expended as I relaxed more and more, until I was concious, while at the same time completely out of my mind. I understood everything there. When I came back, my fear felt betrayed, as he looked at me with the eyes of my fother, whose heart I had broken. But I realized everything, I just did.
But since then I could not stop my mind, it was harder for me to do, when my fear could feed so much from the experience and the resources I had created. Then I did another fuck up, when I woke up this morning I explained to a friend what had happened to me, and how I did it. I felt this was wrong, because my words were going to be missunderstood, because what I had lived were the opposite to the sound my words created. So it felt like a sin. But I don't know, I just could not be in my physical body anymore, don't know why, and I really tried. So I ended up telling to a friend

Can you guide me? What self-forgiveness should I do for myself? I am thinking that... What about forgiving myself for everything? And trying a second time to stop my mind and be myself? I just would have loved to just realize and be there for myself... But I came back, and it wasn't a "hey how you doing? Have you find out something cool in your journey?", It was rather, "why did you do this? You traitor, I am fear! And remember your fother."
So, I am thinking I should forgive myself for everything, but I could not stand the first time, will I be able to stand as myself the second time? Why should I be given another chance? What when wrong? Have I done something wrong? Or it just takes time and I will be able to stop my mind as time passes?



Raúl
Posts: 341
Joined: 09 May 2017, 02:22

Re: Question about destiny

Postby Raúl » 18 Dec 2019, 16:03

Okay so I think I got it. I am sorry that I got overhuelmed.
I think that rather than talking to people about things that they don't understand, I could talk in a way they can understand, to guide them to themselves. And in this process I will be expressing myself through the energy because it is the only way because I am in a society, while in myself I try to be as estable as possible, forgiving myself for all the specifics points that will come out, and not forgetting what are my roots when I am alone in my room.

I think this sounds like common sense! Because you know... If I were to play guitar in a stage as who I really really am, would people even notice? I doubt they cared



Raúl
Posts: 341
Joined: 09 May 2017, 02:22

Re: Question about destiny

Postby Raúl » 18 Dec 2019, 19:23

I have been the whole day at my bed, trying to be in my breath while aware of myself which was one of the keys that helped me see what I saw in that moment last night at 5 am after 4-5 hours of being aware and stopping my mind.

Somehow I could not believe what I saw with my own eyes, because the first thing I did when I came back was feed my fear and allow it to posses me. He is more than me, but I have been talking with him, and he is going to support me.

I don't know if I would be able to live this realization for myself, all I can say for now is that I will do my best to remain with my physical in the goods and the bads



Marlen
Posts: 4348
Joined: 12 Jun 2011, 20:16
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Re: Question about destiny

Postby Marlen » 19 Dec 2019, 18:29

Hi Raúl

I'm not sure if I understand what you are asking, but it probably has to do with the ability to forgive yourself, which can't be granted, given or allowed by anyone else but you. Why should you give yourself a second chance, or a third or a fourth one? That's something you can only answer yourself.

Something I cannot comment on however is on the 'experience' you had or the idea of what you think 'happened to you' since I don't have any similar experience or point of reference, all I can say is: keep it simple. This process is not about 'stopping the mind' as I have probably explained many, many times already, that was a simple way to put it at the beginning and it is often misunderstood. It is not about only 'existing breathing' and doing nothing, it's about facing our mind, our creation, our reflection, our dark sides and being willing to process it through the tools you already are aware of, so that one can actually focus on Creating ourselves in a self-directive way, in a way that we know is supportive and common sensical to us.

So, if there's anything you notice as you live and do your regular day to day stuff that you see is creating 'noise' inside you like emotions, reactions, backchat, judgments, fears, then that's when you can speak self forgiveness out loud for it, leading you to see what your responsibility is in the creation of such reaction, so that you can then redirect your moment to a more supportive outcome. That's the simplicity of process in reality, no need for 'major realizations' or 'not thinking at all' or 'keeping yourself awake' or 'seeing a third eye' type of experience, keep it simple, and rather focus on how you are going to redirect yourself once that you see the things that you want to change within you.

Another point, don't be afraid or 'disliking' asking for support, it's only ourselves in our egos that do that and believe 'we can do it on our own' - there's a reason why places like this one exist, so, being humble about it all is part of acknowledging we are not islands, we need each other and it's ok to ask for support when needed.

Self forgiveness is a tool to acknowledge the points that one has created, that one can take responsibility for and redirect one's life from that moment on in a different direction through living words that are instead supportive for you in that moment. There's nothing else needed, no great realizations or having to 'stay breathing only' for long periods of time either, again, keep it simple,, it is a process of self investigation, introspection, getting to know yourself, not about getting any 'grand' experience or perceiving 'I have shut my mind off' because if that really happened, well we would be dead, lol.

Learn from your mind, learn to embrace your mind, your mind is not the enemy, it is you, it is a part of you, so no need to try and do something against it, it's about learning to direct oneself as the mind, as the essential part of our body and functioning that it in fact is. There is nothing wrong with the mind in itself as the system or mechanism it is, it is the way we have programmed it - or running automatically - that we have to create an awareness of to be able to change it.

So, if something is still unclear, then you can ask once again about it -



Raúl
Posts: 341
Joined: 09 May 2017, 02:22

Re: Question about destiny

Postby Raúl » 19 Dec 2019, 22:50

Hey Marlen! Thank you so much for your support.

However, I don't think I fully agree with your words. I appreciate and understand that I should not force my mind to stop, but shouldn't I prevent my mind from creating more consecuence? I get what you are saying which is, instead of stopping your mind, forgive the specific points, and even if I agree, the mind is very tricky and it pulls oneself like a magnet and before you notice it you are in separation. With this I am just saying, keep the guard up in the breath.

Also, I have noticed that even if I need and will 100% forgive the specific points, if right now I made the decision, I could commit myself to not be in separation ever again. I am just saying it is possible, and if it was possible, the entire mind consciousness system would colapse. And if that happens, it would be easier for you to forgive yourself.

I understand however your emphasis on forgiving the specific points rather than stopping the mind, since this is something which can be counterproductive for most people, me included, but, the experience I had was more I can describe with words. Have you seen the eyes of a cat? Which feel like a shooting star in the sky? This is what I saw. When I came back to my body, to this tention in my head called mind, I noticed how many resources my body had created since my mind had taken a big hit. And the first thing that happened was that my core, which is made of fear, and the mind of my fother (to male sure I don't realize), felt betrayed. Betrayed because I had stopped being human, I had seen my voice, to talk to myself.

Anyway, I am taking it with calm. Because I want to keep forgiving myself so that when I am there I can explore myself. And then see if I can live my life as myself, or simply what can I do to live this realization.

I am trying to forgive myself for the experience, and the desires, since they are part of the personalities that took over when I came back.

I would love that sunette could answer me this topic, because I saw her videos on how to be a portal long time ago, and I remember a similar process to what I did. But what I did yesterday I did not understand, I was just setting myself free... This tention, systems. With the support of my beingness, which comes through through the feeling I get between my eyebrows, which is nothing more than myself telling me... Hey... I am here, you can let go.

To get there I just followed myself, sunette's describes it as feeling icy cold, I describe it as following myself through my third eye until I am the one looking at myself, and then I can let go of myself and see what is beyond.

I really would appreciate some concrete perspectives on this, and thank you Marlen for your support.



Raúl
Posts: 341
Joined: 09 May 2017, 02:22

Re: Question about destiny

Postby Raúl » 19 Dec 2019, 22:58

"not about getting any 'grand' experience or perceiving 'I have shut my mind off' because if that really happened, well we would be dead, lol".

Also, You would not be dead, you would just have your resources with you instead of creating energy. This is already explained and you should know it more than me by now, which makes me suspicious of who are you exactly.

There is a grand experience, even if it is the opposite of grand and no words can describe it. You can shut your mind and you don't become a zombie or a robot, or die, you just don't create energy. If you don't create energy, you are with yourself and you are the directive principle.
If you already don't create energy, you can check sunnetes videos and how to be a portal, there she explains that for it you need to already be several days without aaany thought (I remember it from when I saw the videos).

Of course, if there is not energy I can not comincate with you. I have to create it for you to understand, but there should be no need of communication.

Of course what I have said is that to exist in this world you have to create energy, to talk with people! And more things, but in an ideal world, communication as energy is done. Yes, we don't live in an ideal world, but let's check all potentials within ourselves to make sure we are not losing anything.

These are my thoughts... Let me know what you think!



Raúl
Posts: 341
Joined: 09 May 2017, 02:22

Re: Question about destiny

Postby Raúl » 20 Dec 2019, 00:33

Okay okay Marlen, okay. You just touched my weak spot, sorry for my words. You are right, there is not anything more, I just... Have been searching it for a long time! Just an habit. Such a relief




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