So I had the strangest wide awake experience once exactly like the thing in the documentary "What The Bleep Do We Know" where a trip happens next to water. Obviously it was some delusion but it was striking that I could project an exact physical form of the image of Anu with a seeming animated walk across water. It was a corner of the eye thing, I knew if I had looked directly at what I was seeing it wouldn't be there, so I didn't look all the way ... I wasn't on any drugs and this happened but I was having a sort of a schizophrenia the days before and the morning of it as well, I was pretty functional the hours before it happened if that makes any sense. Anyways I felt like I was being spoken to about life, and the scale of it, like looking at a billion years laid out before you in everything, some of it seemed good and reasonable but admittedly a lot of it was a sort of delusion based on a strange image/feeling/conspiracy/projection/creation. It ended up starting as something good and turning into pure madness as I wanted to see and hear more ... I was desperate, lost, and content because of the morning and days beforehand. Anyways I went through a whole day like this and it was hellish. I feel fortunate to only have glimpsed some of the things i realized during that day by the water, mostly referring to seeing the shoes of another. I honestly don't know if I have schizophrenia but I know I've had the symptoms of it during many periods of my life. Had to learn about the medical industry the hard way too .. I would never ever see a doctor for certain things now seeing what it is. I know they aren't evil but man .. I saw all the massive shortcomings of the systems they use. probably more educated on that than anything else in life, very thankful for the clarity at least.
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