This is a recurring experience for me that I'd appreciated some additional perspective on.
Every once in a while, I get this quite intense point of : "Just don't go to work today" or "Cancel that appointment."
Everything within me screams that this is what's best for me to do, but when I push through, I experience all sorts of backchat such as "you're just a pussy for doing this" or "you're just clinging to a job in the system" sorts of thoughts. This will usually be accompanied by a period of questioning / regret when I am in fact at work. As they day develops, I come to settle down and the intensity of the experience of feeling like I absolutely should not go into work that day forms a weird juxtaposition with what otherwise turns out to be a pretty normal day. I am grateful that I still have a job and haven't had to explain that a voice in my head told me not to go to work that day, but I can't help but experience lingering thoughts that I may have missed an opportunity of a lifetime.
I forgive myself that I've accepted and allowed myself to experience myself as the lingering thought "I should not have gone to work today"
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to not realize that experiencing myself as the lingering thought "I should not have gone to work today implies" that I have given myself over completely to a thought within that moment, the ultimate manifestation of self-limitation when you consider the vast potential I inhabit yet accept and allow myself to be consumed by and as a single thought.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to be consumed by and as the single thought "I should not have gone to work today."
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