Ish’s Journey To Life

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Ish
Posts: 44
Joined: 28 Apr 2019, 06:00

Re: Ish’s Journey To Life

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Positivity - Day 8
January 22, 2021

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to participate within positivity in my mind

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for generating ‘emotions’ and ‘feelings’ of positivity within my mind

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for beLIEving that participating within ‘positivity’ in my my mind will in some how benefit/help me

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for not seeing/realizing that participating within positivity in my mind is no different than participating with ‘negativity’ within my mind

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to ‘think’, that creating ‘feelings’ of positivity in my mind is better than ‘negativity’, when in reality, they’re one in the same, the starting point is ‘energy’, none of it real, here, in the physical

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing for attaching this ‘feeling’ of ‘positivity’ in my mind to thoughts, ideas, beliefs, memories, emotions, feelings, past/future projections, fantasies, desires, experiences

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to ‘desire’ the ‘feeling’ of ‘positivity’ within my mind, instead of living the word, here in the physical, breath by breath, moment by moment

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to not see how addictive it can be generating ‘feelings’ of positivity within my mind

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to ‘think’, ‘believe’ that ‘feeling’ ‘positivity’ will in any way, shape or form, make the experience of my life better when in fact, it’s the opposite, it will cause delusion, in which you start thinking these self generated ‘feelings’ are intact real when they are not

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to ‘desire’ this ‘feeling’ of ‘positivity’ In my mind due to creating/manifesting shitty circumstances in my life in which I tried to run away from by creating ‘feelings’ of positivity within my mind, while ‘feeling’ better for a specific moment, in reality there is many steps I need to take in my life to sort my life out, and ‘feeling’/generating/creating experiences of ‘positivity’ in my mind will not do anything but be a hinderance

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing to not see how my past participation within generating/creating experiences/feelings/ideas/beliefs/projections/desires relating to ‘positivity’ kept me in a deluded state in which I would not stand up for my own life and the consequences manifested due to ‘mind participation’ al due to the fact that I ‘thought’ I was doing/achieving something, taking a step forward by simply ‘thinking’ about positivity

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to not see how intoxicating ‘participating in positivity within the mind’ is, was, can be, in which you can literally create ANY ‘positive’ experience you want in your mind, I mean literally anything, but it’s at the cost of generating ‘energy’ and sucking the body dry of resources by these ‘generating of feelings’ through ‘thinking’

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to attach/project the ‘feelings’ of ‘positivity’ towards certain individuals in my life through ‘thinking’ about them

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for avoiding all the ‘positivity’ I created within my mind from the starting point of dishonesty, ego, fear, in which I wanted to run away from my problems and ‘think’ about ‘positive experiences’ when in your physically manifested reality, there’s absolutely nothing to ‘think, feel’ positive about as there’s many things I must do, actions I must take to actually sort my self out, as ‘thinking’ about them will not make them go away

I forgive myself for not accepting and allowing myself to see that if I keep this ‘pattern, habit’ of ‘positivity’ going, nothing in my life will change/shift/move as ‘thinking’ about ‘positivity’ means exactly that, I’m ‘thinking’, which means I’m up there in my head, not down HERE, in the physical, participant, making the changes in my life necessary to create/form a life that I’m not regretful of

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to not realize that, ‘positivity’ is not a ‘feeling’ to be ‘thought’ about, as that achieves nothing except ‘feeling’ good within your mind for fleeting moments, but to be the living word of ‘positivity’, within my words, actions, interactions, and physically manifesting the word ‘positivity’ into my life within how I interact within myself and real physical reality, not to generate ‘feelings’ in my ‘mind’, but to start living this word out in ways that it could support specific aspects of my life

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to not confront this sooner as it could have saved me time in not participating, creating, forming habits/patterns in relation to ‘thinking’ about ‘positivity’, and thus attaching things like thoughts, feelings, emotions, beliefs, experiences, memories, ideas, desires, past/future projections, images to the ‘feeling’ of ‘positivity’

I commit myself to no longer support/create this ‘desire’ to participate within ‘positivity’ in my mind

I commit myself to no longer ‘desire’ the ‘feelings’ of needing/wanting to ‘experience positivity’ in my mind

I commit myself to see/realize in participating in ‘positivity’ in my head/mind, I am keeping myself in a self deluded state in which I start to ‘feel’ like everything is ok when in reality it isn’t, there are many doings/actions that must be taken in relation to my specific life, that I must sort out, and ‘thinking’ about ‘positivity’ will achieve nothing but generating ‘energy’ for the mind/ego/systems I have residing within me

I commit myself to sort and clear myself of all the fake ‘positivity’ that exists within em, when in reality, I don’t live that word, in reality Ive manifested as a negative person, so that’s enough proof to see that ‘thinking, forming, creating’ experiences of ‘positivity’ within my mind does absolutely nothing

I commit myself to see and realize and finally accept that this is a bad habit/pattern I can finally let go as it has consumed me at times in my life, but in now realizing the delusions of ‘positivity’ and creating these experiences of ‘positivity in my mind’ is just to feed the mind/ego energy in specific moments, I can start to let it go, I can walk the process of cleansing myself of all this fake, false ‘positivity’ that exists within me, in which I haven’t ever LIVED this word, or created/manifested the physical expression of ‘positivity’

I commit myself to finally accept the fact that experiences of ‘positivity’ within mind participation isn’t real, and I can cross reference this by how my life has manifested. I am not a ‘positive person’ what so ever, in how I have lived/interacted within myself and other beings, which is enough proof for me to SEE clearly, that this ‘thinking’, creating, generating, forming experiences of ‘positivity’ has indeed got me no where, in the literal sense and manifested the complete opposite in my life, which is more proof of why being HERE, within breath, in every moment sis KEY, to stop the creation of ‘positivity’ within my mind

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Ish
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Joined: 28 Apr 2019, 06:00

Re: Ish’s Journey To Life

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Negativity - Day 8
January 22, 2021

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to participate within ‘thoughts’ of negativity

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for creating/participating/forming thoughts and attaching ideas, emotions, beliefs, thoughts , memories, experiences, past/future projections, images, desires, fears, worries, concerns, judgements in relation to ‘negativity’

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing this one ‘emotion’ of ‘negativity’ to dictate and rule my life since childhood as I was in/around a very ‘negative’ household and environment

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to not see out of al the feelings/emotions that exist within me, ‘negativity’ is without a doubt , the one ‘emotion’ I’ve participated the most through out my life, on a consistent basis, non stop, creating everything I possibly could in relation to ‘mind participation’ within ‘negativity’

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to ‘judge’ myself for creating/participating in such a destructive ‘energy’ within, and thus manifesting these ‘negative experiences’ in my life on all levels, within myself, within my relationships and world

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for ‘suppressing’ al the ‘negativity’ that exists within me and trying to ‘think’ about ‘positivity’ instead in which it always made matters worse in the long run

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to not see how ‘thoughts’ and participation within ‘negativity’ in your mind can lead to destructive habits, thoughts, projections

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to truly get addicted to ‘negativity’ not only within my ‘mind participation’ but in my reality, in which there were many physically manifested consequences in relation to family, friends, myself and my world in general

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to not see and realize how ‘negativity’ or the starting point of ‘negativity’ in relation to the mind, and attaching it to thoughts, feelings, emotions, beliefs, ideas, memories, experiences, traumas, past/future projections, desires, images, fears, worries, concerns, habits, patterns, in which many I ended up LIVING OUT, in my reality, as the pull of this ‘energy’ was so strong, and after much participation within this ‘emotion’, there were many outbursts, and the need, ‘desire’ to get this ‘emotion’ out of me

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to ‘blame’ others for the ‘negativity’ that I CREATED within me, not anyone else , it’s always been me, due to my specific ‘mind participation’ , this ‘negativity’ was created, not because of the people around men, but how I responded to the people around, creating/forming thoughts, ideas, beliefs, experiences, projections, comparisons, fears, worries, concerns, insecurities, desires, fantasies, hate, judgements, anger not only towards myself but the people around me or people I know/interacted with

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to not see that if you participate within ‘negativity’, on a consistent basis, non stop, like a ever ending cycle that it can morph and change into thoughts like aggression, violence, discord, self hate, self judgement and unnecessary fears, worries, concerns

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to allow ‘negativity’ to dominate myself and thus me searching out this ‘negativity’ outside of myself in relation to people, wanting it, ‘desiring’ it, seeking it out in which I could have put myself in dangerous/precarious situations in which luckily I didn’t get myself In, but in hindsight I was looking for that, too almost ‘feel’ alive as the reality I created/manifested for myself was not enjoyable, so I would look for ways to ‘feel’ more alive

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to not see how ‘negativity’ also relates to ‘feelings’ of wanting, ‘desiring’ revenge to someone who I ‘feel’ may have wronged me in the past, and thus wanting to get even

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to jot see and realize just how much ‘negativity’ I’ve been holding in, in relation to specific, specific beings in my reality, but most of all myself

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to become self destructive in relation to my ‘desire’, ‘attachment’, to the ‘emotion’ of ‘negativity’

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing ‘negativity’ to dictate my ‘judgements’ of other people, always ‘feeling’ like they are the ‘enemy’ or someone is out to get me/harm me whether it be physically and emotionally and thus creating this ‘paranoia’, which in reality, all it did was push me away from people, make me avoid people, avoid specific interactions with people, not open myself up to people, when in reality it was thorough generating/creating/forming ‘thoughts’ of ‘negativity’ attached to ‘energy’ in which I would participate In specific thoughts for so long/consistently that they were almost supercharged with ‘energy’ which caused explosive reactions within me/outside of me, towards myself, towards others

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to not see, that within this participation of ‘negativity’ in my mind, that I was creating false enemies, enemies that didn’t exist, but through generating this ‘emotion’, I was manifesting it, picking and choosing who may or may not be an enemy, unnecessary ‘judging’ people based on my preconceived notions about them, all created from the starting point of ‘mind participation’ and my ‘desire’, addiction to ‘energy’

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to create much fear, worries, concerns due to my negativity

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to not see and realize to what extent this ‘negativity’ has manifested in my life, as I can see all the physically manifested consequences in relation to it

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to ‘fear’ my own creations/experiences of ‘negativity’ within my mind

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to not see and realize, if I stop all the self created ‘negativity’ within my mind through ‘mind participation’, much good will come from that, much change will happen, as this one point has been so dominant in my life, that if I take the necessary steps to stop ALL FORMS of ‘negativity’ that exist with me, I can slowly start to piece my life together, piece by piece, but by not, if I stand up and become responsible for each individual thought, feeling, emotion, belief, memories, past/future projections, desires, comparisons, images, judgements, fears, worries, concerns, ideas in relation to myself, others, and the world, that I can sort and cleanse myself of all the ‘negativity’ that exists within and outside of me. Just like it took a specific process, a walking to create/form all this ‘negativity’, the same must be done to cleanse myself of all the bullshit that exists within me in regards to ‘negativity

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself how ‘negativity’ is a specific pattern/habit/system in which it generates much energy to FEED the ego ‘energy’ to keep it charged

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to not see/realize how much ‘ego’ has had to do with much/of not all the negativity I created in my life

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to see/realize the habits/patterns in relation to negativity that I created within me, are specifically designed to feed the ‘ego’ ‘energy’, in which the ‘mind, ego’ will throw out specific ‘thoughts’ in relation to ‘negativity’ to get a ‘reaction’ out of me, in which the ‘ego’ has been very successful at, I ALWAYS took the bait, my ‘negative’ thoughts would cause big/extreme reactions within myself, in which it was a perfect design to keep the ‘ego’ fed the energy it ‘desires’, and in me not having the tools of self writing, sf/sc statements, breath, self honesty, I would not have been able to figure this out or what exactly was happening within me, and thus would have been stuck in a never ending state/cycle of creating/recreating ‘negativity’ within me and outside of me

When and as I see myself participating within ‘negativity’ or the ‘emotion’ of ‘negativity’ comes up with me in relation to/attached to thoughts, feelings, emotions, beliefs, ideas, memories, experiences, comparisons, desires, judgements, images, fears, worries, concerns, past/future projections, fantasies attached to energy, I STOP, and breath. I realize this specific ‘emotion’ and ‘negativity’ has ruled and dictated my inner/out experience of myself for the better part of my life, I realize that if I don’t stop NOW, that this will indeed be a never ending cycle, creating/recreating ‘negativity’ within my mind and without my life, all for the sole purpose to have a particular/specific/desired experience within my mind. I realize that it took a process to create these systems/habits/patterns in which there is now much energy attached to them, which come out in reactions within myself towards ‘thoughts’ , and physically manifested outside of myself in relation to myself , others and the world , which I can see within my interactions with them. I realize what I have done, what I have created, and why I created it, I see the clear cut patterns as to how I’ve gotten myself and my life to this point in relation to ‘negativity’, and within that I realize how I can stop it. The only way to stop the ‘negativity’ I created through ‘mind participation’ with all the ‘energetic attachments’ correlated to them, is Breath. Only focusing on what’s real,here, in every moment, taking responsibility for every moment, applying the tools of self writing, self forgiveness, self corrective statements and within doing that, I will let go of all the attachments/energetic attachments/reactions I have towards and within ‘negativity’. I will be able to find the origin, nature and specificity of al the points of ‘negativity’ that exist within me in all the forms that exist, this can only be done through the tools given for self correction.

I commit myself to no longer, so easily give in to the pull, ‘desire’ to experience/create ‘negativity’ within my self in al the forms of thoughts it exists in

I commit myself to stop allowing ‘negativity’ and the many forms ‘negativity that exist within me to dictate my inner and outer experience of myself, I will no longer allow this ‘emotion’ to have any control over me

I commit myself to no longer seek out ‘negativity’

I commit myself to not create anymore thoughts, feelings, emotions, beliefs, ideas, comparisons, desires, memories, experiences, traumas, past/future projections, images, fears, worries, concerns, judgements in relation to the starting point of ‘negativity’

I commit myself to not allow myself to react within the starting point of ‘negativity’ whether it’s within my mind or within my interactions with people

I commit myself to not ‘blame’ anyone for my ‘negative’ experiences as I’m the sole creator of what exists within me on all levels

I commit myself to not ‘feel’ or ‘think’ there is no way out of this attachment, pull I have towards and within ‘negativity’

I commit myself to no longer allow myself to ‘think’, ‘feel’ this ‘negativity’ that resides within me is REAL, as it not, it’s a creation of the ‘mind’, ‘ego’, and the ‘desire’ for and to create ‘energy’ within myself to feed these many systems of ‘negativity’ that exist within me

I commit myself to realize that there many, many consequences within participating in an emotion like ‘negativity’. NONE OF IT GOOD, no good has ever came in my life within participating in this ‘emotion’. All it’s done is mess up relationships, cause turmoil/drama/fights/arguments/fears/worries/concerns within myself and outside of my self in reality in which these manifested as consequences due to my participation in it.

I commit myself to let go all points of ‘negativity’ I have within me, towards myself, others and the world as ALL OF IT, was created from a starting point of fear, dishonesty and ego, had I had the tools of self writing, self forgiveness and self corrective statements, I would not have allowed things to get tot he point that they have, but it is what it is, I will take all responsibility for my creation

I commit myself to no longer create ‘emotions’ like self hate, self judgement, anger at self, annoyance towards myself due to my participation within ‘negativity’

I commit myself to see/realize in what areas this ‘negativity’ as manifested in my life specifically, is it specific ideas/beliefs I have of myself, others and the world ? Is it specific memories/experiences I’m holding in ? Is it specific projections/fantasies I’ve participated in ? Is it due to a specific individual who I may hold ‘blame’ towards my experience of ‘negativity’ within me? Is it purely self created delusion/ego/desire for energy, in which I turned the wheels of the mind and participated within this pattern/construct ?

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Ish
Posts: 44
Joined: 28 Apr 2019, 06:00

Re: Ish’s Journey To Life

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Avoidance - Day 9
January 23, 2021
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to intentionally keep myself deluded and avoid facing myself in relation to writing about specific points within me, doing things that must be done regardless, taking the physical actions necessary in fixing/sorting my life

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to avoid myself and my reality

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to create a habit/pattern in relation to avoidance/avoiding things that MUST be done

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to avoid myself, people, necessary actions that must be taken, not realizing that it will better my life and all I have to do is push through that ‘resistance’, ‘energetic attachment’ I created in relation to avoidance

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to not see and realize the many things I’ve ‘avoided’ doing, taking actions for, sorting my life out was from the starting point of ‘fear’, in which it created ‘regret’ for lost time as these things I ‘avoided’, I eventually had to do regardless, but ‘mind participation’ within the many forms it exist, created much ‘resistance’, in which I ‘thought’, ‘felt’ I was ‘lazy’ while in reality, I was participating within so much ‘energy’ in my mind in the form of thoughts, feelings, beliefs, ideas, judgements, desires, comparisons, memories, fears, worries, concerns, doubts, images, past/future projections, energy, patterns, habits , constructs which in its totality , ‘confused’ the shit out of me, so I did not have the tools or the know how to even get started in relation to the things I was ‘avoiding in my physical reality’, it was a true mind fuck

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to not give myself the opportunity to sort my life out and doing/taking the necessary steps that would indeed fix many aspects of my life due to ‘avoidance’ and ‘avoiding’ these things simply due to ‘mind participation’ and it focusing HERE, in breath, thus losing myself in my mind within the many patterns/systems/constructs that I’ve created within me

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself that in addressing the things I’ve been ‘avoiding’ in my life, that it could bring much inner peace, clarity within my mind, almost like taking weight off your shoulders, each thing I avoided was like an individual brick piling on, one by one, and as years past, it got too heavy In Which I had no choice but to address it, and as I’ve been addressing these crucial points in my life, I physically feel lighter, my mind doesn’t feel as foggy/clouded/inflated as I take each individual brick/point off my shoulders

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to not see how the accumulation of the act of ‘avoiding’ things, addressing what’s really going in your mind, specific people, specific actions that at some point will need actions being take, will overtime feel like a burden, and once you address them years later, it will ‘feel’ like too much, the ‘feeling’ of being overwhelmed due to years of inaction , so it’s better to address these things you avoid sooner than later, because after a specific period of time, you will need to stand up and address them, so it’s better to take action as soon as possible as letting this feeling/emotion of avoidance build up, will cause much ‘resistance’, ‘friction’, ‘fear’ when you do decide to stand

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for ‘blaming’ specific people, myself, the world for this habit/pattern/construct of ‘avoidance’ I created within as I was the sole creator of it, I chose to participate within this behaviour which eventually became an automated programming in which I would live out for years to come

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to create extreme ‘self judgement’ in relation to ‘avoidance’ , ‘feeling’ as if there’s something wrong with me, like I’m less than others, that I don’t have the abilities to overcome this, which were also self creations in which I ‘participated within my mind’ within creating these ‘doubts’ within what I can and can’t do

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to ‘doubt’ my abilities in what I can and can’t achieve within my world due to many years of participation in the ‘feeling, action, emotion’ of avoidance, in which I built an energetic attachment to it, and eventually beLIEving all these ‘thoughts’ to be real, when in reality, it was specific ‘mind participation’ within ‘thoughts/energy’, in which I created these ‘doubts’ in my abilities

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to not see and realize how this one point has affected every aspect of my life as it currently exist, in which there was much manifested consequences due to me ‘beLIEving’ this ‘feeling/emotion/action’ was real when it in fact isn’t and is completely self created through ‘mind participation’

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to lose trust within myself and the abilities I have, all due to constantly ‘avoiding’ things not seeing/realizing I was creating specific habits/patterns/constructs within me , in which I refused to stand up for myself, and my life within self responsibility , and finding every excuse I could to not stand up for myself/my life and ‘avoid’ addressing crucial aspects of my life that needed attention

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to ‘avoid’ aspects of my life in relation to sorting my ‘mind’, relationships, health, education, friendships, money , all which needed much introspection/attention

I commit myself to no longer ‘avoid’ things that absolutely must be addressed in my life in all aspects mind/body and my physical reality

I commit myself to write about and open all points in my life in which the ‘avoidance’ pattern/habit/construct has manifested

I commit myself to no longer ‘fear’ the necessary actions that must be taken in relation to all the things I’ve ‘avoided’ and walk through any/all ‘resistance’ that exists within those points

I commit myself to no longer create any more thoughts, ideas, beliefs, memories, experiences, projections, judgements, fears, worries, doubts, concerns, annoyances, anger towards myself, others and the world in relation to this habit/pattern/construct of ‘avoidance’

I commit myself to no longer try to ‘think’, ‘feel’ my way out of the ‘avoidance’ pattern/habit/construct , and to take all the necessary actions needed to sort this point out, as it will take many actions/movements in relation to al aspects of my life

I commit myself to no longer ‘suppress’ this ‘feeling/emotion/action’ of ‘avoidance’ , and address it head on

I commit myself within my self writing, self forgiveness, find the origin/root cause as to why I created this habit/pattern/construct in the many aspects of my life it exists in, and in doing so, never go back to/recreate this habit/pattern/construct in my life again

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Ish
Posts: 44
Joined: 28 Apr 2019, 06:00

Re: Ish’s Journey To Life

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Confusion - Day 10
January 24, 2021
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for participating within my mind in the form of thoughts, feelings, ideas, beliefs, memories, judgements, desires, projections, images, fears, worries, concerns, doubts, and within this participation, becoming overwhelmed to the outflow of so many thoughts in which it causes confusion within me

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to not see, that within participation in so many outflows of ‘thoughts’, it can cause things like ‘confusion’ and lack of direction, or to lose faith in yourself as there’s so many ‘thoughts’ coming up at once

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to make this ‘feeling’ of ‘confusion’ into a habit/pattern, as I’ve participated within this construct for many years, and it always lead to ‘feelings’ of unsure ness, confusion, lack of direction, not knowing what to do in a moment, losing faith, losing confidence, and not realizing this was all due to ‘mind participation’ and getting stuck into a habit/pattern in which I ‘think’ myself into confusion , instead of live, here, within breath

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to not see, that in participating within this habit/pattern of ‘feeling’ confusion, I decided not to stand up for myself and my life due to ‘feeling’ ‘confused’, and overwhelmed

I forgive myself for not accepting and allowing myself to see that participating these many outflows of random ‘thoughts’, that it caused my ‘mind’ to feel inflated, foggy, discombobulated, overwhelmed due to the sheer amount of ‘thoughts’ and ‘energy’ I was generating within

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to assume that this is normal behaviour, where you sit/lay and just ‘think’ about random shit in your mind, not realizing that there’s consequences such as ‘feeling’ ‘confused’

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to live out these ‘consequences’ within my mind and my reality, in which there were many moments/opportunities in my life to stand up for myself , but allowing myself to ‘feel’ confused and beLIEving it to be real, when it in fact wasn’t, it was just an accumulation of the ‘thoughts’ I was participating in

I forgive myself for not accepting and allowing myself to see that ‘confusion’ is a creation of the ‘mind’, if you stick to breath, self honesty, here, in every moment in the physical, ‘confusion’ doesn’t exist as you only focus on what’s REAL, which is physical practical reality, doing the things that you need to get done regardless, focusing on your physical environment, and your goals, and by sticking to the ‘physical’, you cannot ‘feel’ confusion because you’re only participating within what’s real, here, in breath within every moment, not somewhere in your ‘mind’ where you generate thoughts, feelings, emotions, beliefs, ideas about yourself, the world, and others in which it accumulates, and you start to ‘feel’ ‘confused’ as to what’s real and what isn’t, you start to beLIEve your ‘thoughts’ are real when in fact they are not

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to not see that I have to stop this participation and creation of ‘confusion’ and only focus on what’s real, in every moment within breath and self honesty, and not give into the ‘desire’ to ‘think’ about random shit, in which I turn causes ‘feelings’ of ‘confusion’

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for not seeing, if I continue to participate in this habit/pattern/construct of ‘confusion’ I will miss the crucial moments in my life where I can make change within myself and within my physical reality through the actions that need to be taken

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to lose trust within myself due to ‘feelings’ of ‘confusion’ and ‘thinking’ I’m ‘confused’ in a moment and truly beLIEving that to be real

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to get angry, annoyed, disheartened within myself in relation to ‘feeling’ confused in moments in my life, in which I did not realize this this ‘confusion’ was self created, to suppress myself, to feed the ego energy, to create/participate within energy, in which I would ‘feel’ ‘confused’ and that ‘confusion’ would turn into ‘anger’ at myself and the world

I forgive myself for not accepting and allowing myself to see how ‘confusion’ can lead to ‘feelings/emotions’ of anger, annoyance, destructive behaviour, outbursts, reactions, judgements, fears, worries, doubts, concerns, lack of self trust, lack of motivation, unsureness

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to deny myself the solutions to fix this problem of ‘confusion’ , in which I sit and write myself out, write out why I ‘feel’ ‘confusion’, what specific ‘thoughts’ are causing me ‘confusion’, what accumulation/thoughts/patterns/habits am I living within and without myself leading me to ‘feel’ confused, because when I’m focused on my breath, within self honest, within each and every individual moment/breath, I don’t ‘feel’ ‘confusion’ , as I’m HERE, participating within my reality and only within the physical guidelines of what’s real, ‘confusion’ doesn’t exist, it’s a self created ‘pattern/habit’ I created to suppress myself and not address the many issues I have in my life that must be addressed, so what I did was ‘create/feel’ ‘confusion’, to not have to keep myself lost within my ‘mind’ in the many forms it exist

I forgive myself for NOT accepting and allowing myself to see I have specific patterns/habits/constructs in the way I ‘think’, in which I can clearly see how this ‘confusion’ is created within me, it’s through participating within all forms of thoughts, feelings, emotions, ideas, beliefs within, in which I jump around in my mind from ‘thought’ to ‘thought’, most of which are not correlated, just random thoughts, feelings, judgements, memories, pictures, desires, comparisons , in complete randomness, and once I snap out of this ‘pattern’, I’m ‘confused’, and rightfully so, I should be ‘confused’ because jumping around within your mind in all the forms of ‘thoughts’ that exist, will cause ‘confusion’ because you are not ‘thinking’ practically and taking the real, physical reality into consideration, and how the physical reality does not move within ‘energy/mind’

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to be so ‘addicted’ for the ‘desire’ for ‘energy’ within my mind in all the forms of ‘thought/mind participation’ that exist, thus always releasing to the road of ‘confusion’

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for forcing these thoughts, ideas, beliefs, emotions, feelings, memories, experiences, projections, pictures, desires, comparisons, fears, worries onto myself and my ‘mind’, in which in a point in my life I ‘felt’ i had to participate within these forms of ‘thoughts’, ‘feeling’ like I wasn’t alive if I wasn’t participating within these patterns/habits/constructs and set ways of ‘thinking’

I forgive myself for NOT giving myself an actual opportunity to sort this ‘feeling’ of confusion outside of me at any point in my life, and just trusting, beLIEving it to be true, when a matter a fact it wasn’t, it was self delusion, a self creation, a specific creation/habit/pattern/construct I made within myself where I would generate enough ‘thoughts’ within myself to the point I would ‘feel’ ‘confusion’ and thus have a reason to not stand up for myself and my life because ‘I ‘feel’ confused in the moment so I can’t take action for myself and my life right now’, ‘I don’t want to do anything right now, I ‘feel’ overwhelmed and ‘confused’’, ‘I’ll do it later, as I am unsure of what I want/need to do, as I have this ‘feeling’ of confusion, doubt, being unsure as to what I have/need to do’, all excuses created by myself within my mind through many years of ‘mind participation’

I commit myself to no longer allow myself to participate in ‘feelings’ of ‘confusion’ as I now know when I ‘feel’ that ‘emotion’, it means I’ve been participating within my ‘mind’ in the many forms of ‘thoughts’ that exist

I commit myself to no longer beLIEve that ‘confusion’ is real, as it isn’t, it’s a self creation through heavy ‘mind participation’

I commit myself to not avoid taking crucial actions in my life due to ‘feelings’ of ‘confusion’ ina specific moment

I commit myself to no longer generate so many thoughts, feelings, emotions, ideas, beliefs, judgements, projections, desires, experiences within my ‘mind’ as it accumulates and leads to ‘feelings’ of ‘confusion’ due to being in your ‘mind’ for so long and not Here, within breath, participating in only that which is real

I commit myself to see that ‘mind participation’ creates many outflows of thoughts, which makes it harder for you to SEE, what is real and what isn’t, which I turn causes ‘confusion’, where as sticking to the breath, here in the physical, as a REAL participant in this reality, in all ways ensures I don’t go into ‘feelings’ of the ‘mind’ such as ‘confusion’

I commit myself to stop the pattern/habit/construct of self created ‘confusion’ through ‘mind participation’ and generating/charging the mind with the many forms of ‘thoughts’ that exist

I commit myself to see and realize that continuing within this pattern/habit/construct/system of ‘confusion’ I will create/recreate the same experiences I have up until this point, and I will not allow myself to delude myself any longer, I have no desire/effort to keep recreating the same cycles/experiences of shit experiences within myself and thus manifested it into my life as a consequence/karma that I have lived up to this point

I commit myself to sort my ‘mind’ out on all levels, through the process of self writing, self forgiveness and self corrective statements, and in doing so, I ensure I stay physical within, Breath, self honesty and in doing THAT, I will not be participating within creating/reversing the experience, ‘feelings’ of ‘confusion’, as confusion does not exist, here, in the physical, it is up there, in your head/mind where it’s ego, mind, energy where you can ‘think’, ‘create’ anything you want, thus leading to ‘confusion’

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Ish
Posts: 44
Joined: 28 Apr 2019, 06:00

Re: Ish’s Journey To Life

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Resistance - Day 11

January 25, 2021

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to create ‘resistance’ towards myself and my reality, resistance towards specific ideas, beliefs, thoughts, memories, experiences, desires, fantasies, fears, projections in which I do not want to address, which also hold answers/keys as to why I do what I do, and how I live my life currently as it’s manifested

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to not see how much ‘resistance exists within me, in al aspects of my life

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to not see and realize that I created/manifested the resistance that exists within me, in relation to my mind/physical reality, that in turn live out, in my day to day patterns/habits in which this ‘resistance’ shows itself

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to not see this ‘resistance’, that exists within me, has stopped me from doing many things that would have changed my life within/without

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to not realize, that if I pushed through this self created ‘resistance’, I would have have myself the opportunity to transcend many points in my life, in which it would have made my life much more enjoyable

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to ‘believe’, that this ‘resistance’ was caused due to things outside of myself, outside of me, external influences, specific people, when in reality I was the sole creator of all the ‘resistance’ that exists within me

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to not see and realize that if I push through these ‘resistances’ that there are whole new possibilities out there, new possibilities, as these current ‘resistances’ I hold within, has stopped me from changing my life for the better, stopped me from trying new things or becoming better at things, stopped me from growing as a person

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to not see that ‘resistance’ is tied to the mind, and is created due to ‘mind participation’ , in the form of thoughts, feelings, emotions, ideas, beliefs, and when in participating in such ‘thoughts’ from the starting point of mind, you create energy /energetic attachments towards these ‘thoughts’ in which you live out, as ‘resistance’, ‘resistance’ to trying new things because you may have created specific ‘ideas, beliefs’ towards said things, so now when you try to do that thing, there is this ‘resistance’ ‘feeling’, like a pull of ‘energy’ stopping you, like something inside of you won’t allow you to push past this point, which is the self created ‘resistance’ i’m speaking of, all created from the starting point of ‘mind participation’

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to get ‘angry’ at myself, and ‘judge’ myself for creating such ‘resistances’ in my life, as I created it, from a starting point of dishonesty, ‘fear’, ‘self judgement’, doubts, worries, ego

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to not see that if I continue these habits/patterns/constructs of ‘resistance’ within me, and beLIEve them to be real, that I will continue to manifest what I’ve created thus far in my life, which isn’t supportive of myself/my life or others and life in general

I forgive myself For accepting and allowing these ‘resistance’ patterns to continue within me, in which I may ‘avoid’ addressing things going lion in my life, that must be addressed, in which I don’t take action In relation to things that I must take action for, not doing the necessary things I must do in order to fix/sort my life out, all due to the ‘feeling’ of resistance created from the starting point of ‘mind participation’, ‘ego’, ‘dishonesty’, ‘fear’

I forgive myself for NOT accepting and allowing myself to see and realize, that I CAN stand up and move through the ‘energy’ of ‘resistance’, I created

I forgive myself for NOT accepting and allowing myself to give myself the chance, the opportunity, to step out of my comfort zones/boundaries, and create a much better/supportive life for myself, and I can do this by moving TOWARDS the ‘resistances’ I created, as those ‘resistances’ hold the key to what limits I created and set for myself

I forgive myself for NOT accepting and allowing MYSELF to see and realize that instead of ‘avoiding’, running away, suppressing, hiding from these ‘resistances’ I created , that I must walk towards it within breath, self honesty and self forgiveness , as it’s within that place of breath, self honesty, self forgiveness, I can see why I created ‘resistance’ to what ever it may be, what was the starting point/origin of it, I wasn’t born with this ‘resistance’, so where in my life, what experience, which fears, doubts, worries, concerns are the starting point/root cause of said ‘resistance’

I forgive myself for NOT ACCEPTING and allowing myself to see and realize that these ‘resistances’ hold many keys to my life, in which I can see where it is exactly I’m ‘suppressing’ myself, holding myself back, fearful of something, avoiding something, creating experiences/manifesting experiences due to participating in this ‘resistance’

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to live out my self created ‘resistances’ towards many aspects of my life, and in turn, not knowing, realizing that I was/have been creating a life that is not enjoyable, manifesting a life that I'm ‘regretful’ of thus far, and a life that I’m not willing to stand by, decisions I’ve made this far in my life that I’m not willing to stand on, due to participating/forming/creating ‘resistance’ in many aspects of my life, better to not go into this self created/manifestation of ‘resistance’ and create/form/start a life that I am willing to stand on/stand by, in which no ‘regret exists’, due to me finally making decisions/choices within the starting point of Breath, self honesty, self forgiveness, to see what’s real and what isn’t real, and not allow the ‘mind’ to have any influence over my ‘real time’ decisions

I commit myself to no longer give in to any form/creation of ‘resistance’ that exists within my life

I commit myself to find/sort all forms of ‘resistance’ that exists within and without me

I forgive myself to seek out, and look for the ‘resistance’ that exists in all aspects of my life

I commit myself to no longer form/create/manifest any new ‘resistances’ in my life, and that is by not participating within the ‘mind’ and the many forms of ‘thoughts’ that exist within it

I commit myself to realize that my ‘resistances’ have formed/manifested into systems/habits/patterns/constructs in that which I live out in my day to day life

I commit myself to not ‘fear’ the many ‘resistances’ I created within myself and projected onto others

I commit myself to find the starting point/origin/root cause, as to why and how I created such ‘resistance’ within me

I commit myself to no longer attach ‘energy’ to the ‘resistances’ I created

I commit myself to forgive all the ‘resistance’ I created within myself and my life

I commit myself to not ‘judge’ the ‘resistances’ I created, as they are, here, manifested in my life and my day to day living, so now I must walk a process of walking backwards to sort this out, instead of ‘judging’ it, as ‘judging’ does absolutely nothing in relation to sorting these ‘energetic attachments’ to ‘resistance’

I commit myself to find any and all solutions needed to sort/fix/cleanse my mind and body of all the ‘resistance’ I created towards my ‘thoughts’ and my real physical reality

I commit myself to no longer ‘react’ to any form of ‘resistance’ that exists within me, and instead breathe through it, do self writing, self forgiveness, and self corrective statements, as that will dissect the reasoning as to why I created all of this ‘resistance’ within me in all the forms that it exist within/without me

I commit myself to to realize that the key to transcending any and all forms/manifestations of ‘resistance’, is to go towards it, not run from it, as the starting point for me in relation to ‘resistance’ was ‘fear’ , I will now commit myself to live the word ‘courage’ in relation to dealing with the ‘resistances’ I have created that infects all aspects of my life, I will seek it out, find it, and let it go, this will take a process of self investigating, self writing, self forgiveness, self corrective statements/application, being HERE, within breath, in every moment, taking self responsibility for EVERY moment, and in doing so, I will eventually walk through this ‘resistance’, till it exists no more

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Ish
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Joined: 28 Apr 2019, 06:00

Re: Ish’s Journey To Life

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Reactions - Day 12
January 26, 2021
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to ‘react’ to specific individual ‘thoughts’ that come up inside of me, specific past experiences, memories, interactions, judgements, feelings, emotions, ideas, beliefs

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself in not realizing that every time I ‘react’ towards these ‘thoughts’ within me, no matter what the ‘thought’ is, I am recreating the same cycle over and over again, in which I will ‘react’ to thoughts if they are specific

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to to ‘think’, ‘feel’, that I can allow certain ‘thoughts’, specific ‘thoughts’ in which I end up ‘reacting’ towards them with ‘emotions/feelings’, not realizing , that even if I don’t react to a lot or the majority of the ‘pre programmed thoughts’, the ones I do ‘react’ to, will cause me to create momentum within the ‘reactions’, so ‘thoughts’ i that I may have stopped having ‘reactions’, towards, I will start ‘reacting’ to those ‘thoughts’again as I’m building an ‘energetic attachment’ towards ‘reacting’ to thoughts

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to see that no matter what the ‘thought’ is, if the starting point of that ‘thought’ is kind, I must now allow it in any way, shape or form.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to not see that there’s certain types of ‘thoughts’ I may be more ‘reactionary’ towards

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to not see and realize that the ‘thoughts’ I do react to, have an ‘energetic’ charge, or some form of feelings, emotions, ideas, beliefs, judgements attached to it

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to not see that most of these ‘reactions’ towards ‘specific thoughts’, are self creations, I at some point participating in the ‘creation’ of that ‘reaction’, in which I chose and willfully participated within those ‘thoughts’, creating, forming judgements, ideas, beliefs, emotions, feelings to them

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to not see and realize, that any thought I have a ‘specific reaction’ towards, when that ‘thought’ automatically pop up due to a preprogrammed design, system, habit, pattern, construct is due to me at some point participating/reacting towards that specific ‘thought’, in which it created an ‘energetic attachment’, so now when that same ‘thought’ pop up, it’s tied to specific ideas, beliefs, emotions, feelings, judgements

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to tie feelings, emotions, beliefs, ideas, judgements in relation to ‘specific thoughts’, in which I at a point in time chose to ‘think’ about, and now they come up within me like an automated system/pre programmed design, in which i automatically ‘react’, not realizing it took ‘time’, ‘conscious effort’, creating/forming these specific ‘thoughts tied to emotions/feelings’, so when I react ‘automatically like a preprogrammed design’, there’s no need to be harsh on myself or ‘judgemental’, because instead of ‘reacting’ or once a ‘reaction’ occurs, it’s an opportunity for me to SEE, what exactly was it that I created in relation to that specific ‘thought’, what have I tied to this specific ‘thought/experience’ within me, and Look at it within breath, and self honesty and let these ‘reactions’ go, as they were created in a time I had a lack of awareness, and created them from a starting point of ‘dishonesty, ego, fear, judgement, doubts, worries, anger, revenge, boredom’

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to not see and realize, that I just take SELF RESPONSIBILITY for every ‘thought’ I ever formed and created as I was the sole creator of it, so it my duty, to find out WHY I am reacting to certain/specific ‘thoughts’ within me still

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing to at some point ‘think, feel’ that these ‘reactions’ were a part of me, that they were normal, that I’m suppose to experience this, to take them lightly, to think of them as not a big deal, not realizing what I was forming/creating within myself from the starting point of mind/ego, and not seeing that I was programming myself in a specific way, and my ‘thoughts’ in a specific way, where within my ‘mind participation’ I was creating much ‘reactions, reactionary thoughts’, tied to emotions, feelings, ideas, beliefs, judgements in relation to specific ‘thoughts’, which manifested into me now ‘reacting’ to ‘thoughts/experiences’ that happened years ago

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to be careless and not give it my all, my entire effort, with everything inside of me to stop ‘certain/specific’ thoughts I react to, ‘thinking, assuming, feeling’ that I don’t have to address them, some may take extensive writing, some may take me being brutally self honest within myself, and LOOKING within self, as to what that ‘specific creation/thought’ is inside of me, investigate it, analyze it within the principles of honesty, breath, self forgiveness/self corrective statements, equality and what’s best for all

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to not see and realize I can discover/rediscover myself, within these ‘specific thoughts/reactions’ and go back in a point in time to look at these ‘thoughts’ from the view point of self honesty, breath and within that, get a completely different view point, in which I can let go of the ‘ties’ I have to these specific ‘thoughts/reactions’, letting go of them completely, sorting myself, and cleansing myself of those ‘energetic attachments’ I have towards my past/past experiences

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to not see and realize that this cleansing of ‘past thoughts/experiences/reactions’, MUST happen, as this is crucial in my journey to fix/sort/cleanse any and all attachments I have to past thoughts, feelings, emotions, beliefs, ideas, judgements, memories, experiences, situations, projections, desires, comparisons, fears, doubts, worries, concerns, systems, habits, patterns, constructs that still exist within me

I forgive myself for not accepting and allowing myself to see how much these ‘reactionary thoughts’ can affect me if I allow myself to participate within them

I forgive myself for not accepting and allowing myself to see that any and all ‘reactions/reactionary’ thoughts that I have residing inside of me, are purely of my own creation, I at a moment in time, chose to ‘focus’ on that specific ‘thought’ , generate ‘energy’ in the form of ‘feelings, emotions, beliefs, ideas, judgements’ , and may have done this many, many times based on the specific ‘thoughts’ coming up, so some ‘thoughts’ may be much more ‘charged/energetic’ within ‘reactions’ due to specific ‘participation’ and the amount of time I ‘participated within them, so the more ‘reactionary/charged’ the ‘reaction’ is, will show you your ‘participation’ in relation to it

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for ‘suppressing’ ‘specific reactions’, as something I can just ‘breathe’ through, and not investigate/look at

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to not see and realize that it’s within the investigation/self looking within, that I will find the origin/root cause of the ‘specific reactions’ in relation to ‘thoughts’ coming up within me, and in doing so, I can let go of these ‘reactions’ built up within me over years of ‘mind participation’, and finally sort/fix/cleanse myself of the burden these ‘reactions’ created over time, as these ‘reactions’ are merely a ‘preprogrammed/design/system/construct’, to feed the ‘mind/ego’ ‘energy’, and created from the starting point of the ‘mind, ego, energy/mind participation, dishonesty’

I commit myself to not give myself any room/space within myself to allow ‘reactions’ to exist, no matter what the reaction within is, I either breathe through it, or self investigate/look at the ‘reaction’ coming up within

I commit myself to not ‘judge’ myself for these ‘reactions/reactionary’ ‘thoughts’ informed and created within my self due to ‘mind participation’

I commit myself to realize that these ‘thoughts’ will come up regardless as I created a specific habit/system/pattern/construct/preprogrammed design, due to years of ‘mind participation’, so these ‘thoughts’ will come up , but instead of ‘reacting’, I will breathe through it, I will do the necessary self investigative work/self looking within to find out why and how this exist within me, and finally let it go, to not hold onto it like a burden, struggle, annoyance

I commit myself to not allow these ‘reactionary thoughts’ to affect how I experience myself in the moment, not allowing it to affect my here, and now as I have done in the past, in which I would get annoyed, angered, fed up, sad, depressed, confused when these ‘reactionary thoughts’ would come, one after the other in which I felt overwhelmed. The reality is I was overwhelmed because of the sheer amount of ‘mind participation’ and ‘outflows of thoughts’ I was creating, in which I would ALLOW myself to ‘participate within reactionary thoughts’, due to feeling ‘weak, unable, not capable, not knowing how’ to deal with it, so I would ‘allow’ it, but that stops HERE, as I commit myself to no longer just let these ‘reactionary thoughts’ linger within me/my mind/body as if they don’t exist/suppressing them, I will address them, investigate them, and finally let them go, as these ‘reactions’ have been within me for YEARS

I commit myself to not no longer ‘feel, think’ that these ‘reactionary thoughts’ are not a big deal, in which I would allow them within myself, they are a big deal in terms of taking up space within my mind/body and directly affecting me and how I experience myself in the moment, there ARE consequences in allowing these ‘reactions’ to exist within you, as they will manifest due to ‘mind participation’, and attaching feelings, emotions, beliefs, ideas, judgements, energy to them, in which it may also start to affect relationships outside of yourself, based on how you’ve constructed these ‘certain/specific’ reactions

I commit myself to put much more effort into the self investigative work/self looking within that’s needed in relation to these ‘reactionary thoughts’, as I’ve not been giving it my all, I would breathe through them, and some of them would come back, a may have written about them, and some may have come back, which shows I need to be more thorough/specific/concise in my self investigative work, really get to the core of the issues as to why these ‘reactionary thoughts/experiences’ exist within me, and be brutally self honest within myself

I commit myself to not create ANYMORE ‘reactionary thoughts’ within myself, as I already have a ton of them inside of me, in I know in time will show themselves in the many forms it exist, so creating any more will just be adding more unnecessary problems that I will have to deal with, this I can do by focusing HERE, within breath, taking self responsibility for each individual moment, ‘thought’ that comes up, within self honesty, self forgiveness, self corrective statements, self investigation/self looking, self corrective application, to no longer allow me to add to the ‘systems, habits, patterns, designs, constructs’ with ‘energetic attachments’ that already exist within me, I commit myself to stop ‘thinking from the starting point of mind’, and to start ‘thinking/self looking/self investigating’ from the starting point of the physical, and only what’s real’

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Ish
Posts: 44
Joined: 28 Apr 2019, 06:00

Re: Ish’s Journey To Life

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Anxiety - Day 12
January 26, 2021
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to create ‘anxiety’ within myself

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to to think this self created ‘anxiety’ was real, inside of me, all of which was created due to participating within my ‘mind/thoughts’

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing me to not see how much ‘anxiety’ I have created within myself

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to give into this ‘feeling’ of ‘anxiety’ in which it ‘feels’ like I almost can’t move or feel hampered in my movement

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to ‘participate’ within ‘anxiety’ and the ‘feeling/emotion’ of ‘anxiety’ to the point it almost feels crippling in certain instances.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing this ‘feeling’ of ‘anxiety’ to become a habit/system/pattern/construct, in which I participated in this ‘feeling/emotion’ for years

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to be consumed by my ‘anxiety’ and allowing ‘anxiety’ to affect my decision making skills in the moment

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to not see, there has been many instances in which I created ‘anxiety’ towards a specific person/situation, and once in that situation/experience, this ‘anxiety’ didn’t exist or I didn’t experience it in the moment, which is further proof it was created/manifested due to ‘mind participation’, in which I now see clearly within self honesty

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to ‘believe’ this ‘anxiety’ had power over me, my being, and my expression, when in reality I manifested this ‘self created anxiety’ , through the action of ‘participating within thoughts’, in which I participated within specific ‘thoughts, feelings, emotions, beliefs, ideas, fears, worries, doubts, judgements, memories, comparisons, projections, images’, which lead me to creating/forming this ‘anxiety’ within me which didn’t always exist, but due to participating within it in my ‘mind’, I manifested the shit ‘feelings’ of anxiety

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to see/realize that if continue to participate within this ‘habit/pattern/design’ of ‘anxiety’, it will only feed that ‘system’ more ‘energy’, thus giving it more ‘power’ , influence over how i’m experiencing myself within the current moment

I forgive myself for not accepting and allowing myself to give myself the chance to not participate within ‘self created anxiety’, in which in any experience/situation I put myself into, I tend to go back to the ‘habit/pattern’ of going into the ‘what ifs, fears, worries, doubts, concerns, projections, judgements’ in which if participated within long enough, it generates enough ‘energy’ to create the ‘feeling’ of ‘anxiety/nervousness’

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for ‘judging’ myself for creating this ‘anxiety’ within me, in which I created ‘feelings/emotions’ of ‘anger, annoyance, guilt’ towards myself because I did not know what I was doing or how I was creating that shit inside of me, I accepted it to be a part of me, like it was natural and that majority of humans experience the same thing in the same ways, when in reality they don’t,

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to ‘judge’ this self created ‘anxiety’ within me from the starting point of my ‘mind’ instead of looking at it within the starting point of self honesty, breath, self forgiveness and how the physical reality actually functions. Now realizing I created this ‘anxiety’ in a point in my life where I did not have the tools to break down how and why I was experiencing this ‘anxiety’, and that it was created specifically due to ‘mind participation’, generating specific ‘thoughts, feelings, emotions, beliefs, ideas, judgements, fears, worries, concerns, doubts, memories’ in relation to myself, people and the world, which manifested as the experience of ‘anxiety’ in a moment, which I do not want to create/or participate in anymore

I commit myself to no longer create ‘anxiety’ within myself due to ‘mind participation’

I commit myself to not beLIEve or trust any of the ‘anxieties’ I created within the starting point of ‘dishonesty, mind, ego’ that exist within me that may come up within specific moments

I commit myself to realize all of the ‘anxiety’ I ever created within me was specifically due to me ‘thinking’ and participating within thoughts, feelings, emotions, beliefs, ideas, judgements, fears, worries, concerns, doubts, past/future projections, images,

I commit myself to walk through the ‘resistance, feelings’ of ‘anxiety’ that do come up within me due to past ‘mind participation’, and Breath, be here within breath, within each individual moment, in breath, ‘anxiety’ doesn’t exist, it can’t exist, as ‘anxiety’ is a self created ‘emotion/feeling’ due to forming ‘ideas, beliefs, judgements’ about self, others and the world

I commit myself to not become overwhelmed by any ‘reoccurring anxieties’ I have

I commit myself to do what ever necessary to walk through the experience of ‘anxiety’ as in the past, I have avoided doing certain things, people, addressing my inner reality, due to this ‘anxiety’

I commit myself to no longer ‘feel’ or ‘think’ that having ‘anxiety’ within you is normal behaviour or a normal occurrence as it’s not, it’s all self created and unnecessary

I commit myself to no longer seek out ‘anxiety’

I commit myself to no longer allow anyone outside me to create ‘anxiety’ within me

I commit myself to not be ‘addicted’ to the experience of ‘anxiety’

I commit myself to not project my ‘anxieties’ on to other people as it’s my creation and my responsibility to sort within myself, in all the facets it exists within me

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Ish
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Re: Ish’s Journey To Life

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Judgement - Day 13
January 27, 2021
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to be ‘judgemental’ towards myself, other people and the world

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to create many ‘judgements’ within myself towards myself, others, and the world

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to normalize this behaviour of being ‘judgemental’

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to ‘judge’ myself on every aspect of myself

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to ‘judge’ other people based on the ‘judgements’ I made about myself, thus projecting my ‘judgements’ onto them

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to not see and realize that participating within ‘judgement, self judgement’ has many consequences in which I am living in different aspects of my life

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to not see and realize just how much the ‘judgements’ I created towards myself affects me and my life currently

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to not see, that I created these ‘judgements’ towards myself from the starting point of ‘fears, worries, doubts, concerns, ego, comparison, desire, dishonesty, mind participation, energy’

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to ‘think’, ‘feel’ I was just participating within my ‘normal behaviour’ of ‘thinking’ about shit, in which I would be creating/forming these ‘judgements’, and just pretend/move on from them as if they never existed, or that I never created them, when in reality, I participated within these ‘judgements, self judgements’ for so long it has manifested in the consequences of ‘insecurities, being extremely self conscious, ‘feelings’ of inferiority, constant ‘comparison’, a constant struggle within myself in which I beat myself down, within these ‘self judgements’, always from the starting point of ‘feeling’ inferior to others due to specific ‘mind participation’

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to not see that these ‘judgements, self judgements’ have had manifested consequences on my life in which I’ve just been living, regarding it to be normal, regarding it to be a ‘part of me’, when in reality I didn’t always have these ‘judgements’ of myself or others within at a certain point in life, I specifically created these ‘judgements’, through ‘mind participation’, in timeframes where I would just ‘think’ about shit, not realizing within this ‘thinking’, I was creating harsh, nasty, extreme, mean ‘judgements’ about myself and others

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for not seeing how long I’ve been living these ‘judgements’ out in the way I live my life, express myself, how I view myself , others, and the world, which has been much ‘judgement’ in which now I can see how this is extremely detrimental, illogical, ridiculous because all of it was from the starting point of the ‘mind’, and nOne of these ‘judgements’ are in fact true, or real, just because I ‘thought’ about them at some point, and created/formed real specific ‘judgements’ towards myself, but yet here I am, living these specific ‘judgements, self judgements’ about myself as they eventually manifested due to me ‘thinking’ about them long enough and ‘believing’ them to be true

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to ‘beLIEve’ these ‘judgements’ I created about myself, others, and the world to be true, as it’s not, I created/formed them with a limited scope of the mind, honestly not knowing the effects/consequences would manifest and linger on till this day, which affects me and the relationships outside of me

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to judge every aspect about myself, others and the world, I mean literally anything you can judge yourself/others on, I have done that

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to participate within the ‘secret mind’, in which I was creating/forming these ‘judgements’, but would not have the guts to say out loud or to another just based on how ridiculous the shit is, how mean spirited it may have been towards myself/others, and in knowing that, it makes me realize there was absolutely no reason to participate within these ‘feelings, emotions’ of ‘judgement’ forming specific ‘ideas, beliefs’ about myself/others, anything I am not willing to speak about in relation to ‘judgement’ in a moment is dishonest, why would i not speak about these ‘judgements’ ? Because I know I created them from a starting point of dishonesty, ego, fears, comparisons, desires, inferiority/superiority, energy, mind,

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to be ‘addicted’ to these ‘feelings, emotions’ of ‘judgement’, as I’ve been participating within it for so long, it’s become a part of me, like an automated system, in which it happens in a split second, and I lose myself within these ‘judgements’ of myself or others, and never have I ever ‘felt’ any better after participating within ‘judgement, self judgement’, it serves no purpose but to feed the ‘ego energy’

I forgive myself for not accepting and allowing myself to see how I’ve taken on other peoples ‘judgements’, whether it be family, friends, moments from childhood, and lived them out, and ‘believed’ them to be true

I forgive myself for not accepting and allowing myself to realize, that living without ‘judgement’ of self, and others is a much more enjoyable existence, it is not my duty or right to ‘judge’ myself/others so harshly, had I been living here, in breath, in the moment within the principles of equality, these ‘judgements’ would not have been ‘created’, as when you are here, in the moment as breath, ‘judgement’ doesn’t exist, you are focusing/living your life in a practical way, doing what needs to get done, trying to achieve goals, it’s when you go into the ‘mind’ and start looking/viewing yourself, others, the world from the ‘starting point’ of ‘mind’, then your ‘thinking’ will be influenced by all the systems, habits, patterns, constructs, thoughts, feelings, emotions, beliefs, memories, fears, worries, doubts, comparisons, desires, egos, projections, judgements, inferiority/superiority all at once, your ‘view’ on yourself, others and the world will be influenced by all of these ‘mind creations’ simultaneously

I forgive myself for not accepting and allowing myself to give myself a break from the constant ‘judgements’ of self, as it has gotten to the point where I physically feel ‘weighed’ down, like there’s extra unnecessary weight on back that I am walking around with, with all the specific ‘judgements’ I created about myself in which I carry around with me as a physically manifested consequence, and these ‘self judgements’ constantly showing themselves depending on the situation/experience/scenario/interactions im having

I forgive myself for NOT accepting and allowing myself to see and realize, that I indeed can let these ‘judgements, self judgements’ go, because I now know the origin, starting point of my ‘creation of judgement’, I can see clearly how everything I ‘judge’ about myself , I judge other people around me for the exact same shit, no matter what the ‘judgement’ is, I can see clearly that I at some point have ‘judged’ myself for, basically ‘projecting’ my ‘self judgements’ onto others,

I forgive myself for not accepting and allowing myself to see that these ‘judgements’ I created about myself has stopped me from doing many things, stopped me from trying many things, always in a constant ‘state’ of I’m not good enough, or I can’t do that, creating many limitations for myself in which I have lived out

I forgive myself for not accepting and allowing myself to see and realize that I CAN, live without ‘judgement’, and that my life will become much more enjoyable if I stop this ‘pattern, habit, construct, design’ of ‘judgement’, being in a constant state of ‘judging’ self and others, weighs you down, it takes ‘energy’, effort, ‘mind participation’

I forgive myself for not accepting and allowing myself to see and realize, that the only way to let ‘judgement, self judgement’ go is by not participating within ‘energy’, ‘mind participation’, in which you generate specific ‘thoughts, ideas, beliefs, judgements, comparisons, desires’ towards yourself and other people, and if participated within this ‘habit’ for too long, these ‘self judgements’ will start manifesting in your life, the only way to stop ‘judgement’ is by Breath, self forgiveness , self corrective statements, principles of equality, focusing on only what’s real and not going into the ‘mind’ or ‘thinking’ from starting point of the of ‘mind/energy’

I forgive myself for not accepting and allowing myself to see that if do indeed let these ‘judgements’ about myself/others go, I will enjoy living more, I will feel lighter within myself, because having much ‘judgements’ within you, is like carrying weight on your back, so as you take these ‘judgements/self judgements’ out of you one by one, you will have a much more enjoyable ‘judgement’ free experience, here in the moment, and not ‘feeling’ like you have to ‘judge’ every and anything, better to just be here, within breath, in the moment not ‘participating within the mind/energy’, in which eventually these ‘judgements’ will come back to bite you in the ass

I commit myself to stop participating within the habit/pattern of ‘judgement’

I commit myself to address/find all the ‘judgements’ that exist within me towards myself, others and the world

I commit myself to not be ‘addicted’ to the ‘feelings’ of ‘judgement/judging’ self and others

I commit myself to realize that ‘judgement’ is a creation of the ‘mind’ and only ‘judgement’ can exist if you are not here, within breath, from the starting point and context of the physical

I commit myself to sort/fix myself within the ‘judgements’ I’ve created about myself and now live out in my day to day life

I commit myself to let go of all ‘judgements’ I have created about self, others and the world

I commit myself to no longer live out these self created ‘self judgements’

I commit myself to see in which aspects of my life this ‘judgement’ exist

I commit myself to realize that the only time I go into ‘judgement’, is when I am not here , within breath, from the starting point and context of the physical, and principles of equality

I commit myself to stop living out other peoples ‘judgements’ of me ‘believing’ them to be true

I commit myself to not ‘fear’ the ‘judgements’ I’ve created about myself

I commit myself to realize that I always have the choice/option to ‘judge’ myself and others, and it’s up to me to go from ‘judgement’ to ‘non judgement’ , and choose to stop participating within that ‘habit, pattern’

I commit myself to realize that the ‘past judgements’ I formed/created will still come up within me to show me what I have created, and that I will now have to walk a process in sorting out all of my ‘past creations’ within, and the ‘self judgements” that have manifested as consequence, to no longer give it ‘attention, energy’, to no longer keep that ‘system, pattern, habit, design’ of ‘judgement’ alive

I commit myself to realize that any of the ‘self judgements’ of myself that I currently live as ‘habit/pattern’, will need investigation/self looking within, in which I find out why I created these ‘judgements’, how, what experiences lead to it, who, which specific ‘ideas, beliefs’ about myself that cause me to live out/experience this without, and without myself

I commit myself to to realize that I no longer have to live out these ‘self judgements’ as they don’t support me, and they never have, all ‘self judgement’ has caused me to diminish myself and become a lesser version of myself

I commit myself to realize that my specific ‘judgements’ has affected many relationships in my life in which it created the ‘feeling’ of ‘regret’

I commit myself to no longer self sabotage myself with diminishing ‘self judgements’, realizing that these ‘thoughts, judgements’ will come to life if given enough ‘attention, mind participation, energy’, in which you will live out in your day to day life

I commit myself to realize that it is up to me, and only me to not create specific ‘judgements’ in relation to myself that’ll diminish me, minimize me, make me a lesser version of myself, instead I will build new habits/patterns, in which I actually show myself, self support, self care, self love, through my actions, words, deeds, which I have never done from the starting point of self honesty, breath, equality equation and what’s best for all

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Ish
Posts: 44
Joined: 28 Apr 2019, 06:00

Re: Ish’s Journey To Life

Post by Ish »

Daily practical living/application - Day 14
February 06, 2021
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to not see and realize that I was not applying myself within my daily practical living/application within the context of the physical and what’s real, instead I was in my ‘mind’ waiting for ‘thoughts’ to come up within me to write about

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to not see and realize that in the waiting for ‘thoughts/points’ to come up within me, I wasn’t truly applying myself to the fullest within my daily practical living, but stuck in my mind ‘waiting to write about points’

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to not see that it’s within my ‘daily practical living’ within the physical reality in which I can sort the bullshit that exists within my ‘mind’ out, where as if I’m not applying myself within my ‘daily practical living’ I am writing just to write, yes it may bring me some form of inner peace/clarity within the moment, but I was not living out my ‘self forgiveness, self corrective/commitment statements to the best of my ability as I was not applying myself within my ‘daily practical living’ as I was more in my ‘mind’ waiting for ‘thoughts’ to come up within me so I could write those points out

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to not see and realize that it’s within ‘daily practical living’ in which you get to test these points of sf/sc statements out, to see if you are indeed living the change, otherwise you are writing just to write

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to ‘wait’ for ‘thoughts’ to come to me so I could write about it instead of applying myself fully within my ‘daily practical living’ in which if I’m Here, within breath, self honesty and only living within the context of what’s real, these ‘points’ will show themselves, so I could eventually write them out

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to go into my ‘mind’ to look for ‘points’ to write about, not ‘points’ being shown to me within my ‘daily practical living/application’ but going into my mind to ‘seek out, look’ for points to write about, not realizing that I am just creating more bullshit within myself that I may have to walk a process for at a later date

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to not see and realize that it’s within my ‘daily practical living’ which will show me the ‘points’ that I must deal with, due to my ‘mind participation’ over the years, and the ‘physically manifested consequences’ that came with it, which is shown to me within my daily living habits, patterns , routines, expression, words, reactions

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to not see just how much I was in my ‘mind’, although I was writing self out, doing my self forgiveness, self corrective/commitment statements, I still lacked much needed structure, I needed much more structure within my ‘daily practical living’ to be able to see these ‘points’ in which I am applying myself now,

I forgive myself for NOT accepting and allowing myself to that there must be balance, in relation to my self forgiveness/self corrective/commitment statements, and ‘daily physical practical living’ in which I can apply these changes, the changes that I need to stand within and as, instead I was more in my ‘mind’, breathing, waiting, for the next ‘point’ to arise so I could write about it not realizing I was missing myself, here, in the physical, within my daily practical application which is where the REAL changes happen

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to do so much self forgiveness/self corrective/commitment statements , in which I get overwhelmed, like I was taking in too much information at once, but that was due to me not ‘living, here, within my daily practical application’ , day to day, which is where I could apply the changes I’ve written about, but instead I chose to write and write and write, forgetting that I must deal with the points first that directly affect me and my life now, not go into the mind and write about ‘points’ from years back, that I ‘felt’ I must write about, when it has no correlation to what I’m experiencing myself as here in the moment

I commit myself to no longer go into my ‘mind’ to seek out ‘points’ to write about and thus miss the moments in which I can be applying myself in my ‘daily practical living/application’ due to getting myself into/creating a state of ‘waiting’ for points to come to me to write about when in reality, if I’m living within self honesty, breath, here, day to day, the ‘points’ that must be written about will be shown to me as I have become them due to ‘mind participation’ and the physically manifested consequences in relation to them.

I commit myself to not try to look, seek, find, conjure up ‘points’ within my mind to write about but instead live here, practically, day to day , applying self, in which the points of been ‘looking for’, will be shown to me

I commit myself to realize that balance is needed in relation to self forgiveness/self corrective/commitment statements, in which I write ‘points’ out, and live and stand within the change needed in relation to those points, and from there move on to the next ‘point’

I commit myself to realize there is a such thing as writing too much, writing about points you are not yet ready to take on and stand as the change, because that is not where I am at in my process

I commit myself to realize I must focus on the points first that directly affect my physical reality, in which I can see the physically manifested consequences due to my ‘mind participation’, within my daily habits, patterns, routines, reactions, expression

I commit myself to to realize that until I sort certain core ‘points’ that have physical manifested into my life due to ‘mind participation’ before I start to take on ‘points’ I am not yet ready for, nor have the capacity to change as of yet

I commit myself to bring more focus onto my ‘daily practical living’ and application within breath, self honesty, physical reality , and only that which is real, and what’s best for all.

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