Cathy's Journey to Life

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Cathy
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Day 29: Triggering the Secret Mind

Last night, we watched the movie Haywire, which is about a highly trained operative who works for a government security contractor in the dirtiest, most dangerous corners of the world. While I wouldn’t recommend the movie – the violence in it assisted me in that it triggered thoughts and pictures from within my secret mind and for that I’m grateful as it’s an opportunity to apply self-forgiveness.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to give my power away to the mind as consciousness where evil lives in the mind as the human.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear the thoughts and pictures within my secret mind triggered through watching a violent fight scene in a movie where for a moment I feared what if I become the show within my mind and thinking in the illusion of horror that I wasn’t previously aware of as a part of me that I at some point accepted and allowed to be me.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to sink in self-doubt and shame within my awareness of myself as my secret mind.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to question my abilities and effectiveness in supporting life when I see/realize and understand that who I have accepted and allowed myself to be as consciousness will take time in walking out of – I re-commit myself to myself within the gentleness of self-forgiveness.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to be controlled by my mind as consciousness where I actually feared thoughts and pictures within my mind as if they can actually control me without me first giving myself permission to be and exist as them.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to exist in an illusory world according to feelings and emotions as if they are real when I’ve proved for myself time and time again that they are the illusion that sucks the life out of me as my physical body.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to disregard the role that violent movies and video games play to further armor and fuel the mind with ammunition to direct the human unaware of how the mind as consciousness will create self as it, if accepted and allowed, thus we continue to project and manifest evil as is already here in living color for us to see through the examples of murder, rape and starvation within and as our world.

I forgive myself that I haven’t accepted and allowed myself to see what we’ve been showing for ourselves to see as who we are through television shows, movies, newspapers, video games and a countless number of wars, all representative of greed and ego, for as long as any of us here have been walking this earth as, and yet in our quest to compare, compete and win, we have failed to recognize the evils we unveil upon ourselves and our reality in our unwillingness to walk in the shoes of another.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to Not consider the external factors such as parenting, education, television, consumerism, religion, and video games and the role they have in forming the personalities within our mind which we keep in secret to such an extent that when crimes are suddenly committed against another with no explanation and/or previous warning we sit in a silent stutter as if we’re not equally responsible when in fact we are All Equally responsible for what is here.

I commit myself to stop taking for granted the breath I breathe and to face me within all that is here in becoming a living example of self-responsibility in supporting a world according to what’s best for All.
“I commit myself to show that the game theory taught to the child through fairy tales, comic books, television, religion, education, family values, consumerism, and all systems that now exist in the world, in fact only shape the Graven Image of self-interest that ends with death as it is not in fact real.” Bernard Poolman
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Day 30: The Soot of Happiness in falling in love


I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not realize that in the human plan for myself and for my future happiness I was willing to adopt an appropriate personality in order to adopt an adequate relationship to fuel my purpose which began and ended like a puff of smoke leaving ashes and soot as the remains of the consequential outflows of the me I willingly imposed upon the lives of others as I left in pretense of caring.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to in my pursuit of happiness begin in a rush of dependency for/as energy in/as self-interest where I pretended first to myself that love was real even when I knew that to love meant to fall I still avoided the truth of myself because I enjoyed the thrill of the chase and the high end of the energy not realizing that the fall meant I was sacrificing the life of/as my physical body.


I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not realize the pure nonsense of believing in pure love when the consequence of love manifests itself in and as hate.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to seek happiness through love as a condition dependent upon selfish motives of making an experience for myself regardless of the effects the experience may have on the lives of others and our physical body and reality.

i forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not realize that my pursuit of happiness always meant sacrificing the lives of others where if one live in luxury then another must live in the soot of hell on earth.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to leave the mark of the beast upon this earth in my lack of consideration for how my participation within and as my mind as consciousness and my experiences in and as feelings and emotions have been affecting the very nature of life here on earth.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fall for love, instead of realizing that love can only be real when it is in fact an act which allows life to be given to all as one wishes to receive for themselves and love thy neighbor as thyself is a manner of living where not one life will suffer in silence ever again.

I commit myself to never again fall for falling in love as I see/realize and understand that the energy cycle of the mind in and as the pursuit of love abdicates itself as life within the cycles of abuse as it sucks the life from our physical body and our physical reality.

I commit myself to supporting a system where love is proven through giving one to another a world where all life is allowed a quality of life which is best for all.

I commit myself to the realization that love thus far been here to distract us within personalitysuits of self-interest and thus in order for love to be an actual living reality requires breathing and walking each one in self-honesty according to what’s best for all.
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Day 31: Abandoned Animals

Today on our way into town, we drove past a dog who looked lost and confused, and more than likely, he’d been dumped and left without food or a home. We live out in the country about 15 miles from the nearest town – and unfortunately, it’s common for people to drive down a country road, dump their unwanted pet and then leave them. As I asked myself how in the world can people do such a thing, I remembered a time years ago, when I did the same…

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to drive down a country road and leave a dog by a nearby house in hopes that he would find his home with them because I was no longer able to take care of him.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to give myself the reason of money as the why and how come that I’ve not taken self-responsibility and self-accountability for my actions and for all life here.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not realize that I am responsible for the living environment in how other livings beings experience themselves within our current money/world system, including those who abuse for the sake of profit and/or abuse because of self-interest/ignorance and a lack of accountability.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to make the decision to adopt and/or purchase an animal just to make myself feel happy and/or as a way of entertaining myself and then not taking self-responsibility for it.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to seek to please myself first and thus because of my negligence my animal paid the price as the manifested consequence of my lack of self-responsibility.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to not take the proper care in seeing to it that my dog didn’t have more puppies and thus putting the mother dog and her puppies in jeopardy and myself in the position of not being able to afford to feed them and thus I forgive myself for being irresponsible and taking life for granted within a world that values profit over life.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to support a money/world system which seeks to comfort the nature of the human no matter the cost to the animal.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to put the human on a pedestal and see the animal as less than human.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing anger to be me as I see myself within a world where living beings are used, abused, mishandled, misguided and left to die all in the name of money.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to refer to life as ‘free’, when in fact life is struggle, life is pain, life is money, and without it/money, life is left to starve to death.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not consider that every living being have their own purpose and/or part within existence thus, to support every living being is to support all of existence.

I commit myself to creating a system where all living beings are no longer dependent upon money to express themselves as life.

I commit myself to bringing an end to life here on earth lived by the human mind as consciousness and instead support heaven on earth as the expression as life.

I commit myself to being aware of and supporting a system that sees/realizes and understands the uniqueness and individuality of all living beings within this existence in self-honesty.

I commit myself to considering and walking in/as the shoes of another, including those who walk life furry footed, footless and/or those who walk with wings and therefore, I commit myself to supporting an Equal Money System which recognizes that none are free til all are free.

I commit myself to supporting an Equal Money System to bring forth Heaven on Earth which will accept, allow, regard and respect each and every single living being in/as their full physical expression.
“I commit myself to call on all activists to reinvestigate their true support, so that those that realize that change is necessary can align themselves with practical solutions if they can get past their ego of self-interest and acceptance of the current system.” Bernard Poolman - Day 30: The Decision
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Day 32: Releasing the Cloud of Consciousness Personas

For almost a week now I’ve had a sore throat, a head cold, occasional chills within my physical body, and now a fever. It’s strange to describe what’s been moments of brain fog which is actually moments of me unaware of myself as breath. As I’ve been breathing and pushing myself through to finish my current SRA lesson – which is a ‘keeping score mind construct’, which is also assisting me to see how I’ve been suppressing myself within a fear of expressing myself, which I’m sure is how my physical symptoms have accumulated. Which brings up an interesting point – the only way that I’m able to exist in fear of expressing myself and thus suppressing myself – is when I’m existing in self-interest… With fever came assistance and clarity, the cloud/fog of consciousness is clearing within my awareness of me breathing in self-forgiveness.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not realize that when I exist within self-interest I am suppressing myself and existing in and as the polarities of negative and positive where I seek experiences of myself through deliberate friction/conflict as manipulation, thus, I fabricate who I am in an attempt to win the approval of others when actually I’m only seeking approval from myself as my mind.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to want to impress and/or please others due to a fear of what others will think of me, thus, I deliberately uphold and maintain a particular persona of myself in an attempt to subdue fear within myself to/toward others and I secretly behave through the direction of my mind seeking approval.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to walk as specific personas in how I change internally through the mind consciousness system to please the fear inside myself to how/what I believe others may think/want of me and/or how they may see me, to such an extent that my mannerisms, my voice tonality, my complete actions and behaviors, decisions and choices are according to the persona I have created in relation to how/what I see/believe that others like, which I’ve accumulated myself as knowing, through association with others through time. Therefore, I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to manipulate myself and others in an attempt to make my own fear of facing myself feel better.

I forgive myself for what I see is the same pattern of accepted and allowed emotions of ‘feeling sorry for myself’ and/or more appropriately a negative experience of myself that I’ve walked as before, where my mind as consciousness attempts to CONvince me that the process of life on earth is a race, a competition – when in fact I have proved to myself over and over that I am capable of stopping and facing and directing myself here in self-honesty and self-corrective application and to breathe and push through and release the brain fog of consciousness – to instead stand in support of an Equality System which will adequately support us in birthing ourselves here as life living in dignity here on earth.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to define who I am through polarity energy of positive and negative where when I experience myself as having a negative experience such as a feeling of depersonalization I will emerge myself in and as energetic actions on the inside giving the appearance of being something and/or someone I’m not on the outside, within the starting point of me as manipulation and abuse within friction/conflict whereas I generate a negative energy experience into a positive energy experience therefore the starting point of me as the authority of energy will equally create my existence as me within the starting point of me as energy, thus manifesting and creating harm/abuse and illness unto my physical body and this physical reality.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed the energy of positive and negative friction in maintaining and upholding a persona of myself which causes damage to the tissue, cells, organs and skin of/as and within my physical body due to stress and strain that I’ve accumulated myself as throughout my life in my attempt to maintain different energies/personalities/personas.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to fear the diminishing/sinking of and/or the waning of myself where I have scored myself according to popularity and/or through comparing myself to and/or competing with others and where within that I pull myself into a corner within my mind and hide – instead of facing who I am and taking self-responsibility for myself as the energy I’ve consumed myself and this physical reality as.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to exist within the fuzzy logic of the mind as consciousness in the fogginess of a head full of snot where I’m sNOT aware of myself existing in self-interest, where I forsake and/or abdicate myself from life itself and within that immerse myself in/as energy/self-interest/conflict/illness/suppression.

i forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to want to give up and/or throw in the towel so to speak, within the fear/belief that I’m not smart enough and/or good enough to assist and support change within this world, which is actually how I’ve always kept score within myself, according to how I ‘feel’ and how I am ‘thinking’ about myself and within a negative polarity wherein I eventually talk myself into reaching a point of positivity as a way of making myself ‘feel’ better about myself and thus continue to repeat the mind patterns of polarity in and as positive/negative energies of and as the illusion of the mind – I stop. I breathe. I continue my commitment to walk the Journey to Life and support this world as is required in order to stop the insanity we have accepted and allowed to exist here.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to validate myself as consciousness through positive experiences of myself which are actually a point of getting my way in and as self-interest where self-suppression and the killing of the physical exists.

I commit myself to caring for and protecting/preserving the natural resource of/as my physical body and this physical reality through breathing whereas I trust myself to support all equally as life.

I commit myself to correcting myself as the nature of the human being as consciousness through self-forgiveness and to assist and support each and every part of myself in self-honesty to support life in a dignified manner and respect for all in equality and oneness.

I commit myself to allowing the expression of me in self-honesty according to what’s best for all to birth myself within and as an expression equal and one as life.

I commit myself to the purpose of comprehending, living and ensuring equality and oneness within our existence for and as all living beings.
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Day 33: The Poor Bail Out The Rich

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to support a government that publicly declares its fidelity to one set of rules while covertly following another.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to continue to support a government whose rights are above the written laws and thus avoid taking self-responsibility for and/or cover up acts which are in violation to the written laws and yet are Not subject to the same prosecution for breaking the law as a citizen of the land is in being held accountable for their actions.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not see/realize and understand the consequences when the only likely remedy is the judgment of history.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing a rule of laws based on a moral consensus expressed daily in the habits of the human, where people obey the law not only because they fear punishment but because they form a belief in their ‘thinking’ that laws are fair which becomes ‘The Habit’ which forms a point of self-restraint, self-denial and self-suppression within acts of tradition/terrorism.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed outrageous inequalities against life because of political and/or the social status of the rich, where immunity from criminal punishment is given where there is No consideration for what’s best for All.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed governance by conditionality according to the inequality based upon a principle of capitalism as ‘those who have all the money’ vs ‘those who have no money’.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed a world/money system whose principals are based upon ego, self-interest and greed – instead of the welfare and support of what’s best for All life.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to go about my day to day living pretending that this world/money system is not the living nightmare that it is for those who have little to no money.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed and depended upon other’s to create our current world/money system while I worked all week, partied my ass off on week-ends, and called that living the life of freedom, Not realizing that life here on earth isn’t even child worthy.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to be the slave to my own accepted and allowed created hell on earth where only a few are king and many are the loyal servants who support their own slavery.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to Not realize how ill-fated it is to support one human being over another by reacting and treating them like a movie star, rock star, and/or any celebrity and/or government official, which is based upon my own secret mind according to what I have secretly desired and wanted for myself.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe within my mind as consciousness that it’s ok to create a world/money system where children starve to death daily while government officials and the rich and famous live a life in luxury and ‘above the law’ in that the only law that exist is one of inequality.


I commit myself to taking self-responsibility for the inequality that exists within this world and to support a system of equality where the future of life on earth is protected and secured according to what’s best for all.

I commit myself to supporting a system of democracy according to a one man, one vote system where an equal money system is recognized and valued as the only system worthy to support life, where there is no one life profiting over the life of another.

I commit myself to walking in the shoes of another where every living being will be heard, valued and respected for their individuality and will be supported according to what’s best for all.

I commit myself to changing our current world/money system beginning first with myself in self-honesty in realizing that earth provides us all with enough to provide all life equal rights to all that is here.

I commit myself to supporting a system where acts of tradition are based upon acts of kindness to/towards our neighbor within the principle act of equality
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Day 34: Ch-ch-ch-ch-changes

My first memory of what fear looks like was on the face of my Aunt Lea when I was three years old. She still talks about how stressed out she was when she finally found me hanging out underneath a rack of clothes in the retail store where she was spending money. I didn’t even know I was missing.

My first memory of what anger looks like is when I accidentally broke the foot off of a porcelain dog that was my Aunt Lea’s when I was four.

My first memory of what heartache, fear and anger feels like, was when my mother and step dad suddenly arrived to take me from the only place I was familiar with as home – with my grandmother, grandfather and my aunt and uncle’s. I lived with them from the time I was 1 1/2 to 4 1/2 years old.

All three of my first experiences as self as the above memories – all revolved around money. The first one was about spending money, the second one was about wasting money, and the third one was about finally having enough money to feed one’s child. This was the beginning patterns of how I was educated about money and one that has followed me throughout my life, and this is not about blame nor does my story hold any specialness to it.

Families don’t know the first thing about educating their children about money and certainly have no clue how to support a child in being a self-responsible human being – one that will contribute to the overall well being in creating a world system that will provide the necessary means of establishing and replenishing our environment where every living being, from the moment they take their first breath, will be guaranteed the opportunity to flourish and express themselves into oneness of/as being.

The purpose for me sharing these particular memories is to share how if Money were removed from the equation of all three of the memories, what then?

- – if my Aunt hadn’t been under stress to purchase new clothes that she really couldn’t afford, for a job she didn’t even like, and, if she had not spent so much money on the porcelain dog in the first place, and, if my mom had been able to afford for her 1 1/2 year old baby to live with her after her divorce — what then?

Allow yourself to comprehend how Equal Money changes Everything and if that brings up fears we are able to release them through self-forgiveness.

Fear of Change

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear change because I fear what I might lose because I’ve associated change as going from a good to bad and a bad to worse situation.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear change because I have defined myself according to a specific point thus the point of change requires that I face myself within a fear of loss of self for something that I’ve only believed about myself when in fact isn’t real in the first place.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to within the point of fear of change fear failing which is related to the need for perfection within fear and anxiety of not getting things right, thus I avoid the fear of failing by not doing anything accept existing within the point of fear of change.

I forgive myself that I have not realized that fear of change is the most common reason for resistance to any kind of change and thus stops us from taking immediate action of any kind.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to fear who I am free from the right to brag about having the most money, the best house, car and/or job.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to change my opinion and/or my intention to/toward others based upon money.


I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear Equal Money because I fear not being part of the system of survival/money.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to from an early age focus myself in and as negative and positive energy experiences where I imprinted myself within a belief that life is either good or bad depending upon the amount of money I have.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to place myself into materialistic manifestations within my world where if I were to lose them, I fear I couldn’t handle it because I wanted to feel as if I controlled my world, when in fact I am controlled and defined according to and as them.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed money to be used as a method of control to keep human beings in my world as I want them to be so that I can make sure that I don’t have to change.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to change me to conform and condition myself to who and what exists within this world according to the value I’ve placed in money to be accepted and noticed – instead of me living me as who I am in self-honesty in every moment of breath according to what’s best for all.

I commit myself to supporting and assisting bringing awareness to the fact that fear of change is not who you really are.

I commit myself to supporting a system of equality where all change within our world/money system is based according to what’s best for all.

I commit myself to proving in self-honesty that the change that Equal Money will allow for every single living being within this world is beyond the limited imagination of our mind as consciousness and thus I will not stop til all living beings is supported in every way with Equal Money.

Join us as we Stand up for and as All Life and change Everything, with Equal Money.
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Day 35: Under the ‘In-flu-ence’ – Part 1

I’m currently, and have been sick with a cold/flu for a little over a week now, and after hearing the interview on Eqafe titled: ‘Life Review – My relationship with Mourning’, I now have a clearer understanding of how the memory of my brother and sister – who both passed away within the past six months – how the memory of them and their sudden death, is having an affect on my physical body. I’ve been avoiding looking closer at the point because when I do, it’s painful. When I say painful, I’m referring to an overwhelming urge to cry, and, I ‘feel’ slightly lost within myself since their death and the death of my mom 11 years ago because, I ‘feel’ like I’ve lost the family members I was once the closest to.

In common sense, I know the ‘feelings’ aren’t real, and during the day, I have no problem breathing through the point. However, in the middle of the night, every night, if I wake up to go to the bathroom or to get a drink of water, that’s when my mind will bombard me with what I call ‘midnight memories‘, (a design of the mind consciousness system) – which consist of reliving the events/experience/fears circling within me of both their deaths. Then, yesterday, I was notified of the autopsy results as to how my sister died, and that added anger to the fuel of the already formed memory constructs.

I begin here in gentleness and patience with myself to release the memories and their in-flu-ence through self-forgiveness.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed my mind to use me.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed me as my physical body to be influenced by the death of my younger sister and brother who I always ‘felt’ were my responsibility to care for and protect and thus ‘feel’ guilty about their death.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to be angry for how my sister died in her abuse to/towards her physical body.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to be angry to/towards my brother for the abuse he manifested/created and accumulated within and as his physical body.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear a similar death as my mother and my brother.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to be angry to/towards myself for the abuse and accumulated affects of taking for granted me as my physical body.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed the memory constructs of the death of my sister and brother to swell up within the center of my being where all I want to do is sit and cry, but which is manifesting illness and influence against and within me as my physical body.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to be directed, influenced and controlled by the mind as consciousness.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to be the void in aVoiding walking this point through in self-forgiveness,

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to exist in and as knowledge and information through a common sense understanding of life and death but used that against myself in that I accepted and allowed myself to engage it into a state of inner suppression, hence the in-flu-ence the memories have retained within me like a prisoner in custody.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to feel ashamed about myself to be mourning the loss of my brother and sister, because I ‘thought’ in my state of ‘knowledge and information’, that I was better than that causing the affect of my dishonesty to build into and as a physical affect within and as me as my physical body.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to have an only understanding (knowledge) of what it means/entails to breathe and walk this point through — only speaking it and not living it as who I am.

I forgive myself that I haven’t accepted and allowed myself to realize that the hate I experience towards the system is actually the anger and frustration I experience towards me, because I have accepted and allowed this experience within me and I did not stop it.


I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed anger and frustration within me through me believing and/or thinking that I am powerless in the face of the system as my mind of emotions and thoughts as grief and mourning.

I forgive myself that I haven’t allowed myself to realize that abuse exist within self through accepting and allowing myself to be abused by the mind and because I accept / allow abuse within me – I accept / allow abuse within the rest of the world as me.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to be ashamed of myself within what I see this point to be, which is self-interest.

I forgive myself that I haven’t accepted and allowed myself to realize that I am simplicity

I commit myself to realize that I am simplicity.

I commit myself to walking the point of my relationship with mourning through to release through self-forgiveness in self-honesty.

To be continued in Part 2
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Day 36: What doesn’t kill you makes you stronger

“What doesn’t kill you makes you stronger.” ~Friedrich Nietzche

I forgive myself that I’ve accepted and allowed myself to believe that hardship, pain and suffering will make us stronger which is actually suggested through stories from the bible – instead of realizing that to believe that life is about living in hardship, pain and suffering is to continue the enslavement of the mind – and an excellent reminder of why I made the decision to face myself through self-forgiveness and to in self-honesty – Stop the mind.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to exist within fear and self-interest based upon people in my life and/or things in my life that I have feared losing the most.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to become possessed within my mind within the memories that I’ve had with regards to my brother/sister/mother, because I didn’t want to face the point of them actually being gone.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to hold onto memories of my brother/sister/mother within my mind rather than face what it means that they no longer exist within this physical reality.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to use memories as a defense and protection mechanism where the greatest fear that the memory protect of the person in my mind is who am I alone with myself.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to create an internal experience within myself with my mind where I go into mourning in relation to the person in my life who has died thus creating a relationship with them in mind memories, and then become emotional as mourning because of the fear of being alone with myself.

I forgive myself that I’ve accepted and allowed myself to not realize that I am only not able to change that which I believe I can’t change.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear losing a safe comfortable feeling within the cushy idea of myself as part of a middle class American family, which wasn’t anything great, but yet provided the perfect backdrop for the continued enslavement of my mind as consciousness.

I forgive myself that I’ve accepted and allowed myself to waste even one more minute within a place of mourning – instead of realizing that the deliberate abuse of others – where one seek at all cost to have more than another must stop – thus at this point, the only solution for those that don’t and/or won’t stand up in support for a system to bring an end to All suffering, is the fact that we’re all equal in the fact that we die – thus death is the one thing that assists in sorting out the mess of inequality existing within our world.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed my own limitations within memories, emotions and feelings, and is the reason why within my children lies the future of myself.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to use feelings in self-interest as memories/personalities so to accept my self-interest as more important than what is best for all Life.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear that which is here as what we as a humanity have accepted and allowed in our abusive nature through comparison, competition, ego and greed, where we have taken instead of given, robbed of life instead of standing up as life, and where we have taken for granted the quantity of life provided here on earth in our wanting/seeking to have more than our neighbor.

I commit myself to making peace with the fact that the beings that once were my mom/sister and brother no longer exist within this physical reality.

I commit myself to stopping my accepted point of limitation in and as mourning and making peace within myself with death.

I commit myself to daily self-forgiveness in stopping who I’ve been in self-interest and thus assisting in stopping our self-interest driven current world/money system.

I commit myself to supporting a System of Equal Education for All where Life is an understanding within living where self realizes that – Life is Not about living according to “What doesn’t kill you makes you stronger” – Life is about supporting thy neighbor as thyself in committing thyself to standing equal and one to all in absolute unconditionally as Life.

I commit myself to realizing that self-forgiveness is only real when I change me as I forgive.
“I commit myself to walk the 7 Year Process day by day as a guide and example for those that would dare to return to Life.

I commit myself to challenge all knowledge and information that is not best for all Life and to establish and participate in research to investigate ALL things AGAIN and to ONLY KEEP what is best for ALL LIFE always.

I commit myself to remind man that Earth is where it will be established – who each one really IS – Life as the Group Life, or Ego as Loner that ABUSE.” ~ Bernard Poolman ~ Creation’s Journey to Life – Day 38: Rebirthing as Life
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Cathy
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Day 37: Barcode everyone at birth

Barcode everyone at birth

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not realize that the microchip/human barcode is not a threat but is in fact a solution for a humanity that has gone mad in its fear to/towards each other.

I forgive myself that I haven’t accepted and allowed myself to realize that a microchipped population would cause big money corporations/manufacturers to expose any form of abuse and where they must stand responsible and accountable for how all experience life on earth.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not realize that the microchip/human barcode is a way to establish whether someone is a self-honest person or whether the person is actually being controlled/persuaded by information/fear and money.


I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not realize that with the microchip/human barcode it would be simple to locate and bring an end to the abduction and/or murder of thousands of children who go missing daily.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear the rumor of a new world order when clearly the current world order within our world/money system reduces life on earth to that of an economic system that functions like a casino.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to Not realize that human technology is actually very primitive and is only designed for profit/to make money.

I commit myself to supporting a system where the solution provides the ability to keep track of and assist people through an Equal Money system where food, clothing, housing, education and healcare are provided for all life here.
From: Creation’s Journey to Life Blog: Day 35: Equal Money will Save the World


“I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not see that under a Capitalistic System, I become the image and likeness of the Devil, while under the Equal Money System, I become the image and likeness of God.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not realize that by winning the opportunity to be wealthy, I FORCE the losers to poverty and mediocrity, and then claim the Equality will force me to abandon my wealth – when I am the one forcing suffering, death and poverty onto the world through individual wealth, through control of property, and money – causing me to have double standards of integrity and morality, serving only my self-interest and denying what is best for all Life. Thus, I refuse to see that the actions of a criminal and the treatment should be as equal as when I have criminalized the poor for stealing food for survival, while I as wealthy steal to kill my opponent and reduce their Life expectance to as little as possible, so that they may never challenge my Tyranny of the Wallet.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to claim that success is the result of Capitalism, in fact confirming that success is the root of evil, as I claim that humans cannot move with integrity and need Capitalism to motivate movement. This, without me understanding and considering how human consciousness is programmed to result in what I claim is my free choice, with programming actually confirming that NO choice exists, as all choices were already made as the brainwashed design – you just decide if you like it or not.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to claim that I have busted my ass to get what I have as wealth, without giving any consideration to all the asses I busted in my claims to wealth; stepping on the many to carry the one, while the Tyrant as the Mind finds ways to justify why the success of wealth is Glory, when in fact it is Gory.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not realize that what I strive for defines who I am , and when I strive for wealth based on money as the root of all Evil, I in fact confirm my own nature to be Evil – and that I then will justify why I may be wealthy as it is my choice, while others are poor as it is their choice, but I refuse to see I am in a system that deliberately keeps resources so limited that a large slave population is developed so that wealthy Tyrants can abuse the slaves while they lay in luxury, claiming it is their God Given Right.

I commit myself to bring awareness that only a Total New System considering all Life Equally will solve the problems of the world.

I commit myself to self-honest, self-forgiveness – as the process to Equality that all walk to become self-aware and self-responsible.

I commit myself to the end of the Tyranny of wealth and ownership.

I commit myself to never be subject to the motivation of outsides forces, but to always move as Life, as me, here – breath by breath.

I commit myself to end all evil in the world through the removal of all Inequality.

I strive in every moment for Life Lived in Excellence, by all Equally – from Birth to Death – in Magnificence; never again to be limited by limited ideas of Self-Interest.

I commit myself to restore Life to be the only acceptable nature of man on Earth.” Bernard Poolman
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Cathy
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Day 38: The Price of Ivory

forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to be ok within a world where killing elephants in order to receive money for their tusks/ivory has for some become a habit, a natural part of one’s daily routine.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not realize that to purchase items for sale made of ivory is the same as killing an elephant by my own hands because in supporting the selling/buying of ivory means more elephants will be brutally killed so that money can be made through the selling of their tusks which are brutally cut in the kill.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to exist within a system of ivory consumption, where ivory is treated as a valuable object over the actually physical life of an elephant.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to participate within a world where killing elephants is currently equal to that of a gold rush.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed ivory as a precious material able to be sold for profit such as in Asia.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed a world where people live in areas where they are poor and have nothing and thus are subject to the temptations and demands made by those who offer money for the killing of elephants for their tusks so that they may profit within the corrupt world/money system we have created here on earth.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not realize that many elephants are killed because people have no jobs and thus no money to care for themselves.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not realize that elephant dung contains food for other animals and that an elephant eats Sapeli seeds in Kabo and deposits its dung in Ikalemba, Epena, Gabon and the Central African Republic, and out of that will grow the Sapeli trees of the future. Thus, we have failed to understand that to exterminate the elephants means there will be no one to regenerate the forests.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not realize that there are not that many elephants left in our world and that a female elephant only gets pregnant about every six years and that it takes 22 months for elephants to produce a single offspring, and that if we keep killing elephants as we’ve been doing, there will be none here for future generations.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed the killing of any animal for the sake of profit.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to exist within a corrupt world/money system that fails to see the beauty and majesty of the creatures that walk upon our earth due to greed where profit/money is worth more than the life of living breathing beings.


commit myself to the support and education of a system that recognizes and understands that to eliminate any species of beings for the reason of profit is to actually be eliminating the ability for all life to survive in areas of our earth.

I commit myself to a system of Equality because then I know that all living beings will be seen and will receive the utmost care and responsibility within an understanding that all life is here for the purpose and unity of realizing our oneness of each other.
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