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Re: Cathy's Journey to Life

Posted: 03 May 2012, 15:17
by Cathy
Day 19: The Good Samaritan

I had a realization while standing in line at the grocery store today when I overheard a couple of women chatting it up with a man about what a ‘Good Samaritan‘ he was.

I was looking at how we as humans act – which is within the starting point of self-interest, and, that’s an alarming point to face within self. Yet, if we look in self-honesty, at how even when we refer to acting in the ‘best interest’ of – what are we really doing? We’re always only looking out for the interest of ourselves. The same applies in our reference to someone as being the ‘Good Samaritan’ and/or ‘heroic’ acts – it’s all self-interest driven. Everything we do, every move we make is ultimately for our own personal gain.

An example is how humans react when coming upon a car accident – how when one sees an individual lying on the pavement, bloody and barely moving, as we inch our way closer – what are we actually thinking about? Obviously most people will offer assistance, but have we considered why we’re acting in the way that we do? Is there a motive, and if so, what is it? It’s self-interest… Some will say they have no such motive, but many Psychologists will disagree and studies have proved that humans are self-interest motivated.

I’ve seen within myself, how it is – we see someone in distress – we experience emotions of distress, such as fear, shock and/or worry, which causes an unpleasant emotional arousal within us, which leads us to what? We have an urge, a want to increase our own well being which we know will decrease our distress level – and the way to do that is to reduce the other person’s distress. Meaning that to assist another in distress is in fact only a means to reducing our own distress. What does all this actually mean? That the motivated behavior is really only self-interest in disguise. And, are we showing ourselves an important point of ourself we’ve avoided in seeing?

Thomas Hobbes, a 17th Century English philosopher, wrote how human beings have always acted from ego and self-interest. Hobbes himself on one occasion was seen giving money to a beggar and when asked why, he said that he was trying to relieve his own discomfort at seeing the beggar in need.

In our self-interest driven, incessant need to please ourself – we’re missing a key point and one that we don’t like seeing. Which is – we’re very much conditioned to react according to the mind as consciousness and, as it turns out, our programming from childhood and within society is pre-programmed and flawed in it’s very nature. Maybe it’s just what we’ve accepted and yet, is Not who we really are?

We don’t really require good Samaritans, heroes and/or saviors. And, we don’t have to continue to exist within the polarity of good/bad, right/wrong and positive/negative. What we can do is – we can Stop our thoughts and our participation as them.

Stopping our thoughts is actually easy when we breathe and realize we can. We can write our thoughts down and have a look at how we’re existing as them and then, we forgive ourselves for accepting and allowing self-interest/ego and greed to control and manipulate us to the point where we’ve not considered walking in the shoes of another.

We can forgive who and what we’ve believed about ourselves because the truth is, we’re just waiting for ourselves to remember who we All are, which is Equal and One as Life here on Earth.

We can assist ourselves as a humanity, and in self-honesty, we can come together and bring about a world the way we realize it can be – heaven on earth. We decide and we move ourselves in agreement together til life here is how we create it to be where Life is breathed, lived and experienced according to what’s best for all.

I forgive myself that I’ve accepted and allowed myself to exist in self-interest/ego and greed wherein my thoughts and desires were based on what I could be, get and have as more than others – instead of considering walking in the shoes of another and realizing how life will be when all life is free living according to what’s best for all.

I forgive myself that I’ve accepted and allowed myself to take life for granted because I wanted to be of special interest to everyone, instead of realizing that in my seeking validation from others I was forsaking myself and rising in debt – instead of standing up for and as all within and as living for real the words love thy neighbor as thyself.

I forgive myself that I’ve accepted and allowed myself to be debt ridden in fear and anguish to/towards our world that I all but gave up on – instead of realizing that to give up on the world is to give up on me because the world exists as it is because of me as a part of me as humanity that has sat by and watched as others have suffered and died needlessly – instead of realizing that I am equally responsible and I have the ability to stand together peacefully as a group and assist in bringing about a world that is best for all through one man, one vote with an Equal Money System.

I commit myself to standing within a clearer understanding of myself as who I am and what I’m accepting and allowing within this world and to face the fears of me that are not so pretty so that the babies born unto this world will know a world free from suffering/pain and starvation and within this I realize that I require nothing less than self-honesty and self-forgiveness and within that, I/We together as a Group can create Heaven on Earth.

I commit myself to asking myself daily who I am and how am I moving myself and is it in a way that will benefit all life in supporting a system where all life is valued equally in all ways.

I commit myself to begin my day breathing instead of judging and breathing instead of reacting and breathing instead of hating and breathing and stopping self-interest and breathing instead of acts of ego and greed and breathing instead of justifying why I can’t face me, instead I breathe so I am able to face me in self-honesty and self-forgiveness as I commit myself to moving myself walking as breath as life as all as one as equal creating heaven on earth.

For further assistance: Visit Creation’s Journey to Life

Re: Cathy's Journey to Life

Posted: 04 May 2012, 20:39
by Cathy
Day 20: The Reality of Self-Honesty

Today – I stopped the time-loop I’d been riding. It was like one of those rides one might ride at a state fair – where the whole time you’re on the ride, you’re scared half to death, and yet, within the fear, is an odd sense of comfort – which is exactly where the starting point of self-dishonesty lies hidden deep within the secret mind.

It was difficult to admit that I’d lost control and submitted to the energetic direction of my mind. I see now exactly where I made the decision to do so – to not stop myself. The worst part was in the hours that followed my decision – in how I participated in my thoughts and how my participation as the thoughts changed who I was as I participated within my physical reality

During the time-loop, I had the illusion of control that I remembered hearing Anu refer to in an interview: Reptilians – The Obvious Secret – Reality or Illusion – Part 18′– where in my mind, there were random thoughts of self-judgment and guilt and where I even tried to control my self-forgiveness.

It was re-hearing that particular interview today that assisted me to stop and breathe, and it was then that I was able to forgive myself. The time-loop of me looping within what was actually a point of self-punishment stopped, when I finally forgave myself.

I will say that I’m grateful for the opportunity to ‘turn back time’ so to speak, and, for the gift I gave myself – The Reality of Self-Honesty.

The exact details of my time-loop are between my partner and me, however for the sake of those who may be reading this – I’ll reference a hint with the following quote: “The safest way to double your money is to fold it over once and put it in your pocket.” ~Kin Hubbard

Sharing here a few of my Self-Forgiveness with regards to the point.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to bring my past back to me to live again as me – instead of letting go of the past, meaning letting go of my relationship to/towards the past within myself.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to react to/towards my past within myself as memories/experiences and energy thus creating a time-loop/cycle within the past I’m existing as.

I forgive myself that I’ve accepted and allowed myself to exist within a relationship to/towards my past within myself where I then re-instated the past and thus re-created a time-loop/cycle of myself within the past as we exist here.

I forgive myself that I’ve accepted and allowed myself to participate within a personal connection/relationship with my past in energy wherein I connected to my past within myself within the energetic emotion/feeling charge which I had to/towards memories and past experiences within a definition to/towards myself and my partner/relationship.

I forgive myself that I’ve accepted and allowed myself to participate within self-judgment and guilt compounding further my participation in and as energy connected to my past within myself and thus re-creating a time-loop/cycle of myself within the past I’m existing as.

I commit myself to letting go of the past including letting go of my personal connections/relationships with my past in energy and to re-define who I am within myself without energy and instead with clarity and stability.

I commit myself to severing energetic connections of my past within myself as memories and past experiences and to let go of me in relationship with my past – to realize that I have only the moment within breath and self-honesty to direct myself living in the moment of breath where I am able to change and transcend the past in the moment of seeing what I’m accepting and allowing, thus, I’m able to stop and change myself within and as walking as breath in self-stability to face my past and walk through the past as me in self-honesty to change me in practical self-corrective application.

I commit myself to letting go of my past within myself and walking the moment as breath in self-stability and self-clarity as I face and walk through the manifested past which is me within and without – to birth myself from the system, the past – that exist as a beginning and an end and to live here as the moment in and as self-expression in standing eternal in support of and as life here, in acceptance of and as Equality.

Re: Cathy's Journey to Life

Posted: 05 May 2012, 18:27
by Cathy
Day 21: Friday Night Lights, Out

It’s Friday – the day when I often have the same experience of myself – the experience of craving, needing, wanting more. But, more of what? I no longer smoke or do drugs, or gamble, and I haven’t eaten any processed sugar now for over a month, lol, my mind would have me ask, what else is there? Sex? I’ve been married for 20 years, and our relationship is a really cool agreement in the process, so I can have sex whenever I want. Nope, the cravings I experienced come from deep within the secret mind.

My mind craved the energy that comes from getting attention, like the attention one gets from flirting with someone for instance. However, I was aware of how my mind would have settled for the buzz of a big guzzle of an ice cold pepsi. Or even a big slice of chocolate cake would have been nice,,, yes, sugar would have eased the craving for the energy my mind was asking for. I didn’t buy into any of it. I stopped and I breathed. I forgave myself.

At one point today, as I flipped through the television channels, I saw a commercial for a local bar/club and my mind thought was one word – party! That’s a popular Friday night event for many after working all week long. I spent a few years doing just that, getting all dressed up on a Friday night and going out to a bar, or two, for a few drinks and to dance, and of course to flirt. Jesus fucking Christ, in self-honesty -I don’t miss that shit.

I’ve walked and applied the tools offered through the Desteni process for awhile now and once you realize the truth for yourself, where you see for yourself what isn’t real and what is – you won’t go back to living the illusion of enjoying what you realize was your own personal mind-fuck in the first place…

I don’t even like referencing it,, my secret mind, because it’s all self-interest motivated and is the part of me that offers no real solution and/or support for all life on this planet – yet, I have to face me in self-honesty, so I’m able to forgive myself and maybe be of some assistance, in supporting a system to bring an end to the shit hole we’ve manifested ourselves in and as here on earth.

The truth is Friday nights was all about the lights – the lights in the illusion that I lived in my mind where fantasies did nothing more than create abuse within and as my physical body. All because I craved an outcome for myself as I continued to want and seek for something to satisfy the direction my mind as consciousness was leading me on as.

No thanks. I no longer accept myself according to illusionary feelings/emotions that will never fill me or anyone of us up. What will assist us – in stopping the illusion that we’re missing ourselves – is to realize ourselves equal to everything here and stand up accordingly. The substances and energy I once used, only temporarily assisted me to forget my self-interested self if only just for a moment to not feel/experience what was actually going on within myself – related to my mind in avoiding facing me and having a relationship in self-honesty with me. No more hiding and fearing me – Friday Night Lights, Out.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to resist and fear and deny that which I perceive and define as being negative/positive energies of my mind which I’ve used and abused in my avoidance of facing me within all that is here.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to resist and fear and deny what I perceived and defined as being a negative energy of my mind while justifying having a positive experience of myself.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to be addicted to the energy derived from participating in illusionary pictures/ideas/memories of my mind.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to define myself according to the polarity of my mind as positive and/or negative energy while I sought/desired/craved an energetic experience of myself based on illusionary pictures/ideas and memories of my mind.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to want and/or desire to have someone or something get me out of the experience I was having of myself, instead of me taking self-responsibility for me.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to want and/or desire to have someone or something change the situation and/or the experience of me for me, instead of me facing me in self-honesty and taking self-responsibility for and as me.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to actually only be searching for that first sexual relationship of myself which was designed to entrap us as humanity to endlessly search for more in self-interest in order to contain/enslave us so that we don’t/won’t face ourselves and take self-responsibility for what is here in how our world exists in suffering, abuse and atrocity.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fall for the energetic cravings within my mind wherein I sought after an experience of myself where I believed I was experiencing something special when in fact the energy of the light/attention/flirting experience never lasted and was only as real as I believed it to be according to my mind as consciousness.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to want/desire/crave an experience of myself as anything other than my here moment as breath as a way of getting energy to fuel my mind as consciousness and/in order for me to not stand up and take self-responsibility for abdicating myself from/as life in accepting and allowing our world to exist as it does with acts of violence as war, murder, rape and starvation.

I forgive myself that I’ve accepted and allowed myself to look for a relationship outside of myself because I didn’t have a relationship with myself.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to believe that I have to overcome or let go of energy instead of understanding within myself that it is to stand equal and one to energy and transcend the energetic experience through self-forgiveness and self-corrective application wherein no energetic experience remains within myself.

I commit myself to stop running from myself and to face me in self-honesty in every moment of breath in taking self-responsibility for what is here in how our world currently exists and to thus support an Equal Money System which will bring an end to energetic experiences which have resulted in abuse and death to/as our physical bodies and our physical reality.

I commit myself to understanding that energy was manifested by mind consciousness systems through friction and balance instead of self-movement in every moment as the totality of who we are – whereas no energy is required – only who we are in self-honesty moving through breath in and as self-expression in every moment of ourself here.

I commit myself to further understanding who I am in self-honesty and in stopping the conscious, subconscious and unconscious mind completely through self-forgiveness and self-corrective application wherein every moment of breath I commit myself to birth myself as life from the physical so that heaven as earth may manifest as the expression of who we are within and as oneness and equality as/for All Life

Re: Cathy's Journey to Life

Posted: 06 May 2012, 17:44
by Cathy
Day 22: The Rebel

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to define myself as a rebel, as someone who refuses and resists authority in any way what-so-ever and as such have built a point of resistance within as and to/towards self and consequently trapping myself within my own characteristic nature of and as living my life in and as fear.

I forgive myself that I’ve accepted and allowed myself to exist in a state of rebellion wherein I refused to accept the conventional way of doing things and/or refused to obey the law within a point of wanting to control for the purpose of satisfying my ego.

I forgive myself that I’ve accepted and allowed myself to see the rebel as being sexy and mysterious when in fact I existed within the energy of finding fault in others limitations and thus was existing in the same nature as the tick and/or a vampire sucking the blood of others in order to survive.

I forgive myself that I’ve accepted and allowed myself to take pride in the idea of myself as being a rebel as one of uniqueness, instead of realizing that I was existing in and as separation of life and in that I was actually supporting the very laws, elite, governments and rules that I was professing to be against.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that I alone could change the world, instead of seeing/realizing and understanding that in order for the world to change, I have to be willing to first change myself through self-forgiveness, self-honesty, self-corrective application, and to recognize my equality within and as all and within and as a group standing in support of an Equal Money System as the beginning point in creating heaven as earth.

I forgive myself that I’ve accepted and allowed myself to want things my way or no way and I see/realize and understand that that was my way of wanting all the glory only on my terms, instead of the terms of equality for and as all life.

I forgive myself that I accepted and allowed myself to see myself as the rebel with a cause and I didn’t like it when people tried to step on my beliefs because I believed I had my own principles that I lived by – instead of realizing that the only cause I chose to fulfill was my own self-interested one, wherein I didn’t consider anyone except myself in my attempts to make me happy and experience myself the way I wanted to experience myself and thus I acted like a demon walking the earth searching for experiences to have for myself having no consideration of how others experience suffering, pain and death on a daily basis.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to believe that I had principles I lived by, when I’ve actually never lived according to any principle that didn’t first evolve around my ego.

I forgive myself that I’ve accepted and allowed myself to believe that I had to accept what is here in how our world exists to such a degree that I sought to rebel against the system -instead of standing equal to the system to change the system from within, thus creating life on earth within the starting point of who we are as a group in self-honesty, as humanity, standing together equal and one.

I forgive myself that I’ve accepted and allowed myself to not realize that I have always been rebelling against myself – instead of realizing that to stand together equal and one with everyone and everything is the same as beginning to accept self wherein voids of self begin to cease as one walks together equal to and one as his neighbor.

I commit myself to walking the path of least resistance, wherein I begin to accept my neighbor as myself and realize who I am walking his life within his shoes.

I commit myself to directing myself according to a principle that rests upon the will for and of all living beings in being able to experience and express themselves within a world which honors all life equally.

I commit myself to challenge myself to establishing a world that is always based upon what’s best for all life as the only acceptable way of living/existing here on earth.

I commit myself to standing in agreement that living a dignified life must be guaranteed to all living beings born and existing here on earth.

I commit myself to assisting others in seeing/realizing and understanding that every being is responsible and accountable for how abuse and suffering exists within our world and that they are equally responsible and accountable for supporting a system which will bring abuse and suffering to it’s end.

I commit myself to bringing about a system of equality and stopping our current abusive world/money system in a peaceful manner wherein we come together as a group and create heaven on earth.

Re: Cathy's Journey to Life

Posted: 07 May 2012, 20:41
by Cathy
Day 23: Raising Cane

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing the sugar industry to abuse life within our current money system where profit is valued over life and where I didn’t and/or wouldn’t see and realize how I am equally responsible and accountable for my own reasoning for supporting and ingesting processed sugar as well as supporting the profit achieved by the Big Sugar Industry through my negligence to uphold my responsibility and accountability to educate and investigate how our current world/money system functions at the expense of the lives of others.

I forgive myself that I’ve accepted and allowed for my whole life, to be who I am, what I eat, how I feel, what I buy, how I think, etc, – all of which have been pre-designed and pre-determined for me and I willfully walked the line with sugar cane in hand as my crutch that pacified me to passively sit by and quietly watch pain and suffering and abuse to continue to increase daily unto others within our world.

I forgive myself for as I’ve been detoxing my body from processed sugar, I failed to realize and understand that the sugar trade of the 18th century cost many their lives while others sought and accomplished their quest to monopolize the sugar industry where a few became the richest men in the world, while no consideration was given to the addictive qualities of sugar in how over indulgence leads to deadly attacks on/within and as our physical bodies.

I forgive myself that I’ve accepted and allowed myself to not know the history of slavery and wars brought on in greed wherein sugar was the culprit fought for to obtain profit and control over others.

I forgive myself that I’ve accepted and allowed myself to not have ‘raised cane’ sooner, so to speak, wherein I haven’t investigated nor cared to educate myself as to how our world currently exists in how we’re destroying our land and the living beings therein as well as human life.

I forgive myself that I haven’t realized in common sense that sugar has No nutritional value what-so-ever and in fact tests show when given to cancerous tumor cells it causes the cancer to grow and the same deadly effects can be proven that sugar increases fungal and respiratory illness.

Suggest watching the following video’s to understand the history and affects Big Sugar Industry has upon our Earth – as well as the affects sugar has on our Physical body.

“BIG SUGAR” SWEET, WHITE & DEADLY BY: BRIAN MCKENNA

Sugar: The Bitter Truth


I forgive myself that I’ve accepted and allowed myself to not question the subsidizing to Big Sugar with 1.4 billion dollars ever year to basically degrade our environment so that a very few can continue to profit and live in luxury.

I forgive myself that I’ve accepted and allowed myself to not realize that the Big Sugar Industry have influenced government officials and/or lawmakers, lobbying for their support from the moment they seek election and where Big Sugar’s power took over area states and land, polluting the environment to make and profit from raw sugar.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed the Big Sugar Industry to make a toilet out of the Florida Everglades, and that’s just the one I’m aware of.

I forgive myself that I’ve accepted and allowed myself to take for granted the influence of money, in not seeing/realizing and understanding that behind every great fortune is an equally great crime against life, and how the crimes against life are continuing to be accepted and allowed upon our earth and to animals through acts of humanity whether directly or indirectly through and as the love of greed, competition, self-interest and ego.

I forgive myself that I’ve accepted and allowed myself to Not realize that the abuse upon our Earth in the name of money over life has to stop and that the solution is an Equal Money System where through one man, one vote we begin to create heaven on earth where all living beings, including our earth, are treated with dignity and respect according to what’s best for all.

I commit myself to bring into awareness how Big Industry profit leads to loss of life and that life can only continue existing according to a principle where All life profit according to what’s best for all.

I commit myself to stopping self-interest where self seeks to profit more than others and to prove in and as self-honest physical movements of self that it is possible to life human as one which expresses self in considering what is best for all in all ways.

I commit myself to stopping the abuse imposed unto our earth through greed as humanity within our current money/world systems, and I commit myself to standing together as a group in birthing heaven on earth.

Re: Cathy's Journey to Life

Posted: 08 May 2012, 23:19
by Cathy
Day 24: Waiting on the World to Change

forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to believe myself as being misunderstood wherein I’ve walked the path of the middle road claiming myself to be waiting on the world to change when actually I was hiding in fear of who I am within how the world exists and in my own self-denial remained quietly waiting for someone to somehow come and save me and/or show me ‘the way’, instead of realizing who I am in self-honesty and taking self-responsibility within all that is here.

I forgive myself that I’ve accepted and allowed myself to stand with those I called my friends in their waiting for the world to change simply because I as them wanted/needed someone to agree with what was actually a disapproval of self and thus we validated one to/from the other the same as we existed as, in and as dishonesty to/towards self in the denial of self and an abdication of/to and/as life.


I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed in my conformity to/as and within our money/world system to stand for nothing and believed myself as having no ability to ever be able to stand and become accountable and self-responsible for what is being accepted and allowed within our money/world system.

I forgive myself that I’ve accepted and allowed myself to gather in a work place environment and settle into the rules as I walked the line in agreement with others and silently resented my place in the matrix as I stood in separation of/as it, instead of seeing/realizing and understanding that it’s not about ‘fighting’ the system, it’s about facing who I am within and as the system and changing who I am in self-honesty and directing myself equal and one to/towards an actual physical self-corrective change in order to support and ensure a quality of life in Equality for and as All living beings.

I forgive myself that I’ve accepted and allowed myself to claim to see everything that is going ‘wrong’ within this world and those who lead it when in fact I didn’t have a real clue how everything that is existing within this world as the crime, abuse, starvation, war and murder begins with money/profit and greed.

I forgive myself that I’ve accepted and allowed myself to take pride in saying that I see how fucked up the world is, yet I accepted myself to be the feelings of fear I experienced, which I used as an excuse to say that I didn’t have the means to rise above and beat how our current money/world systems exist, when in fact there is nothing to ‘beat’, there is only common sense in seeing that how the world exists is accepting and allowing a minority to live in luxury while the majority support, accept and allow them to do so while millions suffer and/or starve to death.

I forgive myself that I’ve accepted and allowed myself to keep on waiting and waiting for the world to change because I couldn’t/wouldn’t face the fact that the world will never change until I first forgive myself and begin to face me in self-honesty, wherein I make the decision to stand up and change me from within and as such I stop the direction of my mind and I direct myself as my mind in the decision to only accept and allow a world/money system which supports that which is best for all.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to judge the poor instead of realizing that the poor represent the part of us that wants and seeks to have more than our neighbor.

I forgive myself for the times that I said if I had the power I’d bring my neighbor home from the battle ground so that they would have never missed a moment living the death in/as/of war, instead I see/realize and understand that war exists within our outside world because of the war raging within us in our not hearing our self-honesty for us to stop and forgive ourselves and thus forgive and support each other to create a world which is best for all.

I forgive myself that I’ve accepted and allowed myself to trust the television and commercials bending the mind as consciousness in ways to enslave, wherein humanity walks about as dumbed down energy seekers looking for a ‘good time’ all the while time is running out and information is all we’ve ever got, instead of actually living a life of self-realization through and as an honesty within self where self-trust begins wherein self sees/realizes and understands that for one to live fully and actually free, all life must first be supported according to what’s best for All.

I forgive myself that I’ve accepted and allowed myself to profess I care and that the fight isn’t fair and so I just sat around waiting and waiting, instead of realizing that we must first care to see who we are within what we say isn’t fair, and in seeing we forgive what we’ve avoided seeing in fear and we see in self-honesty that to really care is to give to another that which self would like to receive and thus we stand as one man, one vote in support of an Equal Money System because in our giving what’s best for all to all living beings we will never be found lacking.


I forgive myself that I accepted and allowed myself to get drunk and/or high and blame others for the guilt and helplessness I felt within myself for how our world punishes those who are barely surviving our mone/world system – instead of realizing that through self-forgiveness I am able to see in self-honesty who I’m able to be standing in self-trust and supporting a system of equality which supports that which is best for all.

I forgive myself that I’ve accepted and allowed myself to believe that it’s hard to beat the system and as such stood at/as a distance/separate, waiting for the world to change, when in fact, in wanting to ‘beat’ the system we’re actually only wanting to ‘beat’ ourselves, because we are the system and we’re only actually waiting on ourselves to stand up and stop what we’re accepting and allowing to/from as our world/money systems, and waiting on ourself to face who we are within our current money/world system, thus we forgive ourselves and we see/realize and understand that when we forgive ourselves, we see/realize and understand that there is no one else to forgive, there is only life here to support and as such we stand up as one man, one vote in support of an Equal Money System, which will be the beginning in creating Heaven on Earth.

I forgive myself that I’ve accepted and allowed myself to believe we’re actually free within this world when all the while I pretended daily to be a multiple of personalities, a personality for work/survival, a personality when I had money, and a different one when I was broke just to name a few thus realizing that when money is given to all equally only then will everyone actually be free to be who we are within every moment of breath, the same yesterday and today, equal and one as all here.

I forgive myself that I’ve accepted and allowed myself to believe that one day some generation is going to rule the population so we just keep waiting and waiting and thus we’ve not seen that we are who we’re waiting on and thus there is no more time for waiting for the world to change when the change we’re waiting on rests within our own self-honest self-direction according to what’s best for all.

I commit myself to no longer waiting on the world to change when in fact change begins first within myself in forgiving myself and in self-honesty directing myself in self-corrective application so that I may bring awareness that life has been abdicated to self-interest and greed and that to stop abdication to life is to stop the direction of and as the conscious mind and to direct self according to what’s best for all.

I commit myself to pushing myself to assure that everyone is allowed an education so that we can stop the grips of paid information which has dumbed us down as a humanity for the purpose of a few to live in luxury while the majority slave, support and/or suffer and die needlessly.

I commit myself to forgiving myself for what I’ve accepted and allowed in how I’ve been directed and fell into the trap of/as the mind as consciousness and furthermore, I take self-responsibility in stopping and beginning in this moment of breath in trusting myself to see and realize and direct myself in supporting and creating a world according to what’s best for all.

I commit myself to understanding in self-honesty who I am and how our world exists within every relationship I/We exist in and to thus support myself and each other to be be able to understand our past so that we can change the future in and as our relationships.

Re: Cathy's Journey to Life

Posted: 09 May 2012, 21:17
by Cathy
Day 25: A day like this – energy withdrawal

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing who I am within a day like this, where the mere idea of moving me as my physical body seems to be more than my mind can bear.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to separate myself from my physical body through participating in the thought and fears in wondering if life will be worth living without some sort of energy fueled movement coming from within me as my mind.

I forgive myself that I’ve accepted and allowed myself to for a moment feel trapped in and as my mind as consciousness where the likelihood of me considering anyone or anything except my own self-interest requires breathing and pushing myself to stand up from what feels like the dead weight of mind zombieness.

I forgive myself that I’ve accepted and allowed the idea in my mind which beckons me to believe that I require some sort of nutritional substance, (sugar for energy) to move myself out of a dark hole in my mind of blankness.

I forgive myself that I’ve accepted and allowed myself to feel deprived and denied of energy to the point where I sense the pull of my mind as consciousness telling me to just give up and have some sugar and/or go to bed – instead I breathe.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to be the addict, always addicted to something in which to fuel energy experiences for/of my mind which I then acted as within and as my physical body and my physical reality.

I forgive myself that I’ve accepted and allowed myself to be addicted to substances which I used to nourish my physical body my whole life, not realizing that my mind was getting off on them instead of them actually being nourishment for my physical, thus I’m walking the manifested consequences of the bullshit that I accepted and allowed in and as the direction of my mind as consciousness.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to project myself in fear of/for my future without having substances that provide energy for my mind which I perceived to be supporting my physical body as a real experience of myself when in fact it was only charging my mind as consciousness.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to be disappointed and frustrated with myself for standing in separation from me as my physical body as well as all life here.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to ingest substances which when stopping them causes physical withdrawals within and as my physical body.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to take my physical body for granted in order to give my mind as consciousness the charge it desired.

I forgive myself that I’ve accepted and allowed myself to exist in a state of mind over my physical body/matter within a memory/illusion of energetic acts of self as the mind as consciousness.

I forgive myself that I’ve accepted and allowed myself to have existed within the movement of self as the direction in and as energy of the mind as consciousness – instead I stop, I breathe. I stand up, and I continue to walk the Journey to Life

I commit myself to continue to face myself in self-honesty within the gentle guidance of breath and to through writing self-forgiveness push through the patterns of who I’ve been through self-corrective application and to remember what I’ve already proven for myself – this to shall pass.

I commit myself to breathing and directing me as my mind in assisting life to stop the mind as consciousness within our world/money system and to assist in bringing about an awareness that living does Not require energy to express and exist together equally here on earth.

Re: Cathy's Journey to Life

Posted: 10 May 2012, 18:24
by Cathy
Day 26: Simple in-a-sense

Today, my 22 month old granddaughter walked up close to me more than once and reached for, and held my hand – once while I was fixing her lunch, once while we looked out the window and once while we stood talking to the dogs. In-a-sense, the touch of our hands left nothing between us unsaid.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to forget how to enjoy holding hands with another for the simple reason of breathing in the moment together.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to lose my sense of connection within and as the physical-ness of simply touching and breathing one with and as another being.

I forgive myself that I’ve accepted and allowed myself to miss the perception of myself as a child before I became aware of the sense of fear slowly creeping in and as me through fear of loss.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to mourn for the child I use to be because in the beginning as a child I saw life as something worth living instead of the day to day struggles adults live in trying to survive our current money system.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to forget what it is to be equal with the dirt between my fingers and toes.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to stop enjoying a walk in the rain feeling the touch of the raindrops falling down upon my face.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to choose the company of another according to what they can do for and give to me, instead of enjoying the presence of breath together.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to want to win over the rights to have something as only mine with regards to that which I was once willing to give/share.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to escape my moment of breath through complicating it in comparing who has the biggest piece of the pie.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to keep secrets within myself hiding parts of me in and as my mind in shame.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed energetic experiences to interfere in my ability to see the abuse I’ve allowed and walked as in total disregard of all life here.


I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to manipulate and control moments of my life, instead of living each breath here within this moment.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to dream bigger than the day before instead of living grateful for this moment in breath.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to take life for granted wherein I wanted the best and the most of what can be had, instead of breathing in the simplicity of the moments in awareness to simply not step on a rollie polie crossing the path in front of me.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to become a living version of my parents in all their prejudices, judgments and fears.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to be influenced according to and as the fears I participated in within my mind.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to whine and feel sorry for myself until I became that which I felt sorry for myself for and that which I whined on about.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to take life for granted as I participated in my mind of self-interest and greed wherein all I thought about was getting from life whatever it took for me to be happy.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to run and play and seek to have the most of what is here, all the while never considering the lives of those who suffer in poverty, homelessness and war.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to give myself authority to be and become me as my mind as consciousness wherein I’ve disregarded the earth, the dirt, the plants and water and the air, everything that allows life to exist.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to refuse to ascertain the dishonesty of believing in myself as who I am as my mind of thoughts, feelings and emotions and in how me participating in and as them is to value only the interest of self and thus to disregard me as my physical body.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to through the value I placed in and as my mind became self-interest driven and failed to see/realize and understand that in the interest of self as the mind the world as a whole is suffering and dying daily.

I commit myself to the simplicity in seeing that life is meant to be an equal living expression for all living beings here on earth living a quality of life in dignity.

i commit myself to keeping it simple moving myself as my physical body as a foundation of support that all life may experience themselves in dignity.

I commit myself to standing up for all life to bring about an Equal Money System and thus bring an end to poverty and starvation and creating Heaven on Earth.

Re: Cathy's Journey to Life

Posted: 11 May 2012, 19:05
by Cathy
Day 27: It’s Not Personal

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to take it personal when the world didn’t revolve around me.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to take it personal when other people don’t see things the same way as I do when obviously we each see things through our own belief systems and opinions which are rooted in and as self-interest.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to blame another for hurting my feelings when in fact it’s Not actually possible for anyone to hurt my feelings, as hurt feelings is an indication of me abdicating my self-responsibility within faulty mind reasoning to avoid the manipulation technique of my mind, so as to Not see how and why my feelings were able to be hurt in the first place.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to take the words of another as a personal attack, instead of realizing how within that I am giving power to the role I play as the victim.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to justify myself as important and special according to the words and/or actions of another, wherein I took their words and actions personally and used them to define myself and alter my own perception of myself to make a negative experience of myself into a positive experience of myself.

I forgive myself that I haven’t accepted and allowed myself to see/realize and understand that when I take things personally it’s because I feel rejected which is actually a point of rejecting self within a point of fear of facing the consequences of what self has accepted and allowed.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to try and make another feel better about themself, instead of realizing that in my attempt to make them feel better I am actually creating an illusion of/for myself within a false sense of self which only serves as a glorified action of self-gullibility.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to want to make others feel better to divert attention from who and what I’ve become by focusing on who and what they have allowed themselves to be so that nobody looks at me in self-judgment and/or so no one will see I’m sitting in my own thrown of self-judgment.

I forgive myself that I haven’t accepted and allowed myself to see/realize and understand that when I take the words of others personally and/or I become offended, it’s implying that I’m actually existing in an over active and reactionary ego because the ego perceives things as a personal insult.

I forgive myself that I haven’t accepted and allowed myself to see/realize and understand that people act as a mirror to our inner selves wherein they reflect the feelings that are deep within us and are opportunities for self to see in self-honesty what self is holding as insecurity and reinforcing in and as suppression of self.

I forgive myself for the feeling games I’ve played from/between human to human, where in my mind I’ve been so self absorbed in self-interest that I didn’t stop to question the fact that hell has manifested here on earth and our money system is keeping us in it’s debt.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to personalize myself as money to the point where I didn’t even recognize what I’ve been accepting and allowing myself to exist as/within myself as ego and greed.

I commit myself to supporting a world where thoughts/feelings and emotions are recognized for the purpose of forgiving and releasing them as who we’ve become.

I commit myself to facing myself in how I’ve assisted in creating a world where our focus is self-interest driven instead of focusing on supporting a system where all life is supported according to what’s best for all.

I commit myself to Not stopping until all life is actually set free to be supported within and as an Equal Money System.

Re: Cathy's Journey to Life

Posted: 12 May 2012, 15:53
by Cathy
Day 28: Bringing up Body
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not consider that my physical body is just like bringing up a baby wherein it requires complete awareness of self-breathing, proper nourishment, tender caressing, adequate water and gentle movements wherein every inch of myself from the top of my head to the ends of my toes is aware of itself as physical.

I forgive myself that I haven’t accepted and allowed myself to see/realize and understand the importance of living self in self-honesty in terms of actually living the principle of equality and oneness in how every part of my physical constitution is as important as another because the entire human physical body is set up within a structural physical manifested principal of actual equality and oneness in terms of if one fall all falls.

I forgive myself that I haven’t accepted and allowed myself to see/realize and understand that everyone has a unique tongue print just like we have a print on our fingers.

I forgive myself that I haven’t accepted and allowed myself to see/realize and understand that the largest organ within and as our physical body is our skin.

I forgive myself that I haven’t accepted and allowed myself to see/realize and understand that a single human blood cell takes only 60 seconds to make a complete circuit of our physical body.

I forgive myself that I haven’t accepted and allowed myself to see/realize and understand the significance in how the life of the human physical body is blood which it requires to see it’s own future.

I forgive myself that I haven’t accepted and allowed myself to see/realize and understand that there really is such a thing as broken heart syndrome, where one suffer symptoms similar to a heart attack after participating in/experiencing emotions and feelings which then cause stress within and as our physical body and thus causes the body to release hormones that temporarily damage the heart and/or narrow our blood vessels which support our heart.

I forgive myself that for my entire life,(including that which I’m unable to recall) I have accepted and allowed myself to separate myself from my physical body whether through deliberate conscious thoughts/acts/words and/or through my own unawareness of breath as conscious, unconscious and subconscious thoughts/acts/words, that I have to such an extent accumulated myself as them that who I’m becoming through self-forgiveness, in self-honesty and self-corrective application, will never be able to accumulate and equally manifest myself within and as and throughout me as my physical body.
I forgive myself that I haven’t accepted and allowed myself to see/realize and understand the extent to which my participation in and as the mind as consciousness has accumulated as abuse formed within, without, in/as, and upon my physical body as a representation of the accumulated denial of self in which I’ve abused myself inside and out in moments of remaining unaware of breath within the movement of self as walking as regret/memory, emotions and feelings in and as the time line of me.

I forgive myself that I haven’t accepted and allowed myself to see/realize and understand the relationships between my human physical body, the world system body and the heaven body wherein all three main bodies within this existence had been interconnected in creating and manifesting who we are as individuals, our personal life experiences and who we are together as one within our lives/experiences as a humanity manifesting/creating and walking upon this earth.

I forgive myself that I haven’t accepted and allowed myself to see/realize and understand how the structural embodiment as consciousness in it’s manifestation and nature as white light energy within it’s purpose to exist for eternity/infinity has affected our existence in how we have walked and existed as a humanity within a mind context according to ideas, beliefs and experiences and thus have forsaken who we are within and as our physical body within this physical reality.

I forgive myself that I haven’t accepted and allowed myself to see/realize and understand how the mind consciousness system with it’s knowledge and information, emotions and feelings and energies, such as personalities, consists of and as a body in itself and thus the manifested consequences we walk as in our existing through and as self-dishonesty in and as the direction of/as consciousness.

I forgive myself that I haven’t accepted and allowed myself to see/realize and understand that this entire world system represents the entire human physical body with various parts and manifestations and sections representing the organs of the human physical body.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to have never considered and/or comprehended how our human physical body represents specifically how our entire existence including our money system, our blood and our veins are all interconnected.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to have never considered and/or comprehended the relationship and the purpose of the connection between the heart and the soul and how the soul and money is connected within our current world/money system.

I commit myself to comprehending me as my physical body and to share and support others in understanding how our mind as consciousness continues to manifest a world of inequality and to stand in support of a system of Equality which will adequately support all living beings within and as this physical reality.

I commit myself to supporting those who are willing to see/realize and understand that we’re in fact individually responsible for this entire physical existence as it exist today and thus are we are each responsible to stand in support of an Equal Money System as the beginning foundation for creating Heaven on Earth.