Page 5 of 31

Re: Cathy's Journey to Life

Posted: 26 May 2012, 18:33
by Cathy
Day 39: Once upon a time

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not realize that who I am on the inside according to what I’ve accepted and allowed myself to exist as in self-dishonesty is reflected within this physical reality thus, I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not realize that who I am on the outside as my physical body is a reflection of what I’ve accepted and allowed myself to exist as on the inside where I’ve sought to please and impress others through ego, comparison, competition and greed.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to move myself according to how men within this world as well as myself have defined women as – as ‘pretty’ and ‘sexy’ of which I accepted, allowed and depended upon as an energetic identity and a point of getting attention and I see how my mind still wants to believe myself as the character I played yet I see in the mirror how the aging process is proof that living a life of energy/ego/self-interest depletes life from our physical body even as the mind mourns for what use to be and that which was never real to begin with. (Read: Energy as Authority – Part One: DAY 31 )

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not hear the pleading of my inner being to stop consuming through energetic experiences which is draining the very life essence from me as my physical body.

I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to exist within a once upon a time memory of myself where/when I could walk into any bar/club and have the attention of any man in the room and within that I forgive myself that I was once proud of myself for that and as that I actually believed I was special.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not recognize myself when I look in the mirror because who I see as the physical outside me no longer matches who I am on the inside.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to exist within a polarity belief that young equals beautiful and beautiful equals good.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to support myself using my ego within an idea of being the prettiest and/or the youngest and within that I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to feel shame within myself for existing in life that way.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear losing attractiveness where I ‘feel’ as if I’m becoming ‘invisible’.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear wrinkles, saggy breasts, gray hair, dry skin and weight gain because my sense of self has been associated with the functional status within this world according to appearances within ideas/personalities of and as the mind.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that optimism/positive attitude boosts our immune system and increases life expectancy. (Read: Day 5: Redefining Words (Part 2) – Playing polarity games)

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to take advantage of and destroy that which is real as our physical body/reality and adhere to consciousness in pleasing that which is Not real as the mind.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that aging is the most natural process in the world – instead of realizing that we age because we participate in and as the mind as consciousness which is self-dishonest and literally sucks the life from our physical body.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not realize that to stop the mind as consciousness is to stop what is here in all ways including our current money/world system – thus we stop all abuse, stress and aging and we create together Heaven on Earth.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to be so consumed in and as my pursuit to have an experience of myself which would validate the picture personality I held so dear of myself in my mind, so much so, that I never once considered the struggles and nightmarish lives that thousands upon thousands of people face in their daily lives. (Read: Day 41: Spiritual Poverty of Love and Light)

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not realize that within me exists an evil that thrives off of money which is called ego, greed and self-interest.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear that when I die I will come back here and have to walk the same points to once again see/realize and understand that love is a lie and money is the only God that exists.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not see/realize and understand that life is Not about taking – Life is about Giving every single living being the ability to experience all things here Equally.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to exist within this physical reality as nothing more than a reflection of the state of mind as consciousness – instead of existing in self-honesty directing oneself according to what’s best for all and thus creating our physical reality accordingly.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to compare and compete with other women in wanting to be the prettiest, the most intelligent and the most popular – instead of realizing that it is walking hand in hand in supporting the women of this world that real freedom exists in equality.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself as a women to compare myself to men – when in fact it is the women of this world who will bring about a world of equality and thus a world worthy for children.

I commit myself to Stop living fears and begin supporting thy neighbor as thyself in supporting Equal Money.

I commit myself to directing myself within the realization that the only thing that really matters within this world is the matter of stopping the inequalities of our current world/money system and supporting a system where All life is the given the quality of life required to support and care for our physical bodies and our physical reality.

I commit myself to call on all women to stand up and be accountable, self-responsible and supportive of a system where all life will be relieved of stress through equal money.

I commit myself to call on all women to stop accepting and allowing men to make decisions regarding the money/world system and to assist and support in creating a system of Equality as Heaven on Earth.

I commit myself to call on the courage of all women to stand and walk together as a group to bring an end to war and starvation and to realize that Together as One is Our Story of Courage.

Re: Cathy's Journey to Life

Posted: 27 May 2012, 16:23
by Cathy
Day 40: America is falling down

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to avoid facing the guilt and embarASSED impressions within myself of how I’ve accepted and allowed myself to continue to support a world/money system that goes to war over land and it’s resources no matter the number of babies caught in the crossfire because of our will to Fight for the right to consume the hell out of this world.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to exist within hate towards the generations before me who sat quietly watching as we’ve raped our land for profit and tossed common sense to the wind because we believe we have a right to our opinion - when in fact the human is the cause for the death and misery brought by war by men against men in the race to be the best, biggest and richest.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to once believe that I lived in the land of the free when in fact I live in the land of the evil where humanity knows no boundaries in it’s consuming within a game to see which slave can have more than the other slave.

I forgive myself that I have been willing to accept and allow life to exist in wars resulting in death and destruction as long as I have a job and money and a false sense of security where I don’t and/or won’t consider the countless number of those suffering and/or dying within our world.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear forgiving what I see in self-honesty exists as evil within me because my mind has refused to see the destructive nature of myself as humanity.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not realize that I live in a country that has the largest gap and inequality between rich and poor compared to all the other industrialized nations.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not realize the insanity of trying to live what’s been called the American dream while the wealthiest 20% of the world’s population consumes 76.6% of the world’s goods while 80% of humanity gets the remainder.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to overlook an important part of my hate for how this world exists – which is that the evil I see within this world begins first within me.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not realize that as I have went out of my way to be nice and make people happy what I’ve really been doing is setting up relationships to validate my ego and fuel the evil that I continue to accept and allow as I consume and compete against others, thus creating more and more evil as suffering, war, rape, murder, poverty and starvation.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to exist as complacent with myself wherein I have taken advantage of others without complete awareness of the dangers of my decision to regard one life form as less than another.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not realize that I have not only been the abused but I have in fact been the abuser.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to suppress myself within a point of being co-dependent upon the mental abuse of my secret mind.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to ignore the reality of how our world exists as evil to/towards life because I feared I couldn’t handle realizing what the hell I’ve accepted and allowed as who I’ve become as the evil that exists here within and as our current world/money system.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that I deserved to live a better life than my neighbor and rejected my responsibility in manifesting a world where living life has always been about me in self-interest and my survival within our current money system.

I forgive myself for the greedy, self-centered and egotistical nature of who I’ve been as I’ve struggled to survive as a working class slave in a world where the wealthiest are wealthy because the poorest suffer and die while the working class slave remains clueless in America.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to celebrate Memorial Day to remember ‘the cost of American freedom’, when in fact it has taken me losing almost everything I had to realize that freedom really is just another word for nothing left to lose because the only freedom that exists is the freedom that comes with having and protecting ownership and money instead of protecting life.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to convince myself that it’s alright to reject life through and as a world/money system which commits crimes daily against life through acts of war.


I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not realize that an Equal Money System will allow all physical life forms to exist here together peacefully.

I commit myself to directing myself Not as an American but in Self-honesty as Mankind.

I commit myself to bring down the borders that exist within myself toward all nations of beings and to support a money/world system that sees to it that No one suffer as Life.

I commit myself to supporting a system of Equality where money is Not here to devalue life but is instead here for the sole purpose of Supporting Life on Earth.

I commit myself to a system that does not capitalize the resources of the land for profit but instead realizes the resources of the land are here to access within the principle of and according to what’s best for all.

Re: Cathy's Journey to Life

Posted: 28 May 2012, 13:54
by Cathy
Day 41: My Mind Said ———> Run!

I Stop. I Breathe —> I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to after reading today’s chat on Desteni’s private forum – I saw how I experienced back chat within a belief about self that I’ve created which said, ‘you still don’t know anything, so forget it, run away, hide’!

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to create beliefs about myself through back chat as self talk where I have accepted a point of fear toward myself as true, such as fear within a belief that I’m not able to direct myself effectively in my process.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to create beliefs about myself through backchat within a false ego of myself of believing that I’ll never accept myself within a point of self-intimacy, so just give up and try and be happy.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to judge myself through a filter of behaviour in fear as backchat as self-created thoughts that I have not only accepted but have convinced myself of as being true where I have made them a living statement where my belief has become a reality of who I am in action as a religion of self.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear that within self-created beliefs about myself I am so suppressed that I will never reach a point within myself where in self-honesty I will allow myself to know me as an expression of myself as life as living words according to what’s best for all.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to Not realize that fear is actually a desire of my mind to protect itself from harm where a fearful experience and/or a belief of self as failing serves it’s purpose in that is seals my fate to remain enslaved as consciousness.

When and as I see myself existing in a pattern of fear as back chat/thoughts, I stop. I breathe and I realize that the secret mind fears for it’s survival and will seek and avoid being revealed as the deception that it is. Thus, I commit myself to slow down, breathe and remain here in realizing that there is no where to hide from myself and that it’s taken years of accumulating myself within constructs and patterns and it will require patience with self to walk the corrective application of self in releasing them, and that the only solution is the path of an Equal Money system so that everyone will have access to the de-programming offered through Desteni I Process. Thus, Equal Money is the Only solution that I Commit myself to for the remainder of my life here on earth.

I commit myself to Stop being a victim of fear.

I commit myself to standing in self-honesty in realizing that – the behaviour patterns of my secret mind as back chat/thoughts, where in fear I judge my process and limit who I am within self-created beliefs to/toward myself – that such behaviours and actions as self No longer serve me as who I am walking this Journey to Life through self-forgiveness, and, in self-honesty, I Stop fearful backchat, and I stand in support of life according to what’s best for all.

I commit myself to forgiving and releasing the image of myself as ego/fear that I’ve placed before the true image of I am/life.

I commit myself to supporting a system of Equality to improve the experience of life for every living being within our world.

Re: Cathy's Journey to Life

Posted: 30 May 2012, 18:00
by Cathy
Day 42: Snake bite: a symptom in the nature of our survival

Today our dog Bella got bit on her snout by a copperhead snake that was in our back yard. The snake wasn’t very big and was only defending itself, but Bella’s snout swelled up like a balloon. After a 15 minute visit to the vet, a shot of antibiotics, a shot of prednisone, and 50 dollars later, the swelling is down and she’s going to be fine. What this day has proved to me once again is that the nature of everything here is about surviving within our world/money system.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to take for granted what the nature of the animals within this world are showing us as the nature of the human in how the human takes instead of gives.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing a system of money that supports itself based upon the helplessness of injured animals in order for it to exist.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed a system that only cares for each other in sickness if one has money to pay for it.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to participate in thoughts, feelings and emotions as a weapon to survive within our world/money system.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to seek power over another within the purpose to fulfill the nature within me of/as greed.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed a system that breeds greed as the nature of who/ what the human has become as a mind consciousness system.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear for my future, where I utilized greed as a means of protecting myself.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to use ego to fight to be right and thus fighting for my own limitation.

I forgive myself that I haven’t allowed myself to realize that the very fears I fear manifest as actual experiences – not only in my own world but as all of humanity/nature and the animal kingdom as one together.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to support a system that controls people through debt and misery satisfying people’s desires only enough to support their beliefs that there is no other choice but to submit to a system of abuse through the control of human behaviour through our current money system.

I commit myself to supporting a system where the nature of life is one of giving and unconditional support for all living beings.

I commit myself to through writing, self-forgiveness, self-honesty and self-corrective application to support a system of equality to change the nature of the human to one which is supportive of a world according to what’s best for all – where fear of survival end.

I commit myself to the power within myself in self-honesty to choose to make a new expression of who I really am through re-defining myself in support of a system of equality where the only choice made within our world is according to what’s best for all.

I commit myself to supporting a world where nobody requires saving because life is about giving and being cared for according to what’s best for all.

Re: Cathy's Journey to Life

Posted: 31 May 2012, 15:52
by Cathy
Day 43: ‘Don’t Pretend You Know Me’

Here forgiving five words of a sentence that I’ve used as a weapon to/towards others through the fear of facing what I actually knew about myself, but feared facing the details of as my mind and what that exist of.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to pretend that I know who I am within the fear of my own self-honesty.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed the very nature of who I’ve existed as to be lived in pretending.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to sentence myself and others to a corrupt world/money system through pretending to support and care about life, when in fact, everything that exists within our world has been a revolving lie around money.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe the deception in pretending that there is no need for change.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to deceive others because I’ve been willing to deceive myself through pretending.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to use the words, ‘don’t pretend you know me’ as a weapon against others similar to holding up a shield and a sword and going into battle, only suddenly realizing what you’ve deliberately hidden from yourself in that the only real battle field exists only within one’s own mind.

I forgive myself for accepting myself as a child to allow myself to practice pretending until I manifested myself as a living definition within a state of pre=tense which became a life long practice/pattern of who/what/when and how I’ve existed as.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to be incapable of responding in self-honesty to/towards and within my relationships because I’ve allowed me as ego/character to stand in as me as I pretended to be someone/something where the behaviours of myself were within a belief system that fit in with societies expectation system.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to use the words ‘don’t pretend you know me’ as a Weap-on of excuse to blame others for how I experienced myself instead of facing the guilt I felt about how I treated them as I walked the path of self-righteousness.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to enjoy saying the words, ‘don’t pretend you know me’, which was actually in-SINcere behaviour intended to give others an appearance of myself as having a greater importance in life than them.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to pretend to be what others wanted me to be by manipulating them through words to boost their ego as I secretly expected them to create a similar experience for me.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to lie, cheat, steal and bargain with others using money as a means of maintaining the pretending/feeling of importance within myself.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to pretend to be the friend I thought was required in order to maintain a relationship when in reality, it’s not possible for anyone to actually know me because I’ve never actually known who I am.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to use and abuse words living them in self-dishonesty.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not realize that the me I pretended to be was an act of self-dishonesty in an attempt to receive validation for me as ego.

commit myself to stop hiding and pretending and accepting anything less than who I really am in self-honesty.

I commit myself to embracing me in self-honesty and taking full responsibility for what is here existing as our world manifested as who we as a humanity have existed as within, and thus, I commit myself to supporting and creating a world/money system which values life according to what’s best for all where life is expressed free from pretending.

Must Read Blogs!

EARTH’S JOURNEY TO LIFE – Day 12: Redefining Words (Part 9) – Self Forgiveness statements on redefining words

HEAVEN’S JOURNEY TO LIFE – The Soul of Fear: Day 35

CREATION’S JOURNEY TO LIFE - Day 46: TRUST ME!

Re: Cathy's Journey to Life

Posted: 01 Jun 2012, 15:48
by Cathy
Day 44: Love is a Battlefield

forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not realize that love is like a battlefield on the inside of our physical body where one constantly desires specific outcomes to settle an anticipated experience self has within one’s mind in fear of making a mistake and have to once again face life alone.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not realize that love is a battlefield of love/winning and hate/losing within rounds of/as competition within the need/desire to survive what we refer to as the game of life.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not see/ realize and understand that love has always broken our physical body between the heart and the mind as the soul of money within a world that buys and sells love as sex and sex for money.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed experiences of sadness by thinking about that which I’ve not been able to do based on ideas about relationships and accomplishments instead of according to what’s best for all.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not realize that the affect of love is a cause of fear and suspicion forming patterns and constructs within the mind of/as self-loathing and depression.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not realize that love lived in/as relationships have been about compromise and sacrifice in living patterns of self-interest because when under the spell/possession of the mind ‘in love’, the rest of the world is compromised and sacrificed and left to starve to death and die.

I forgive myself for the beating I accepted and allowed within and without to/towards my physical body through a love relationship as I waited and waited until I hated myself for waiting to experience myself ‘in love’.

I forgive myself for the anger I feel in the pit of my stomach when people sing the song, ‘love will build a bridge between your heart and mine’, when in fact borders exist for the love of a God, all the while ignoring the abuse and neglect within our world as it continues to grow day by day as countless numbers of children live in poverty and are starving to death.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not realize that to say that to love is to place my happiness in the happiness of another is to not comprehend that in order for self to experience happiness in this world, a situation of unhappiness has to occur.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to Not realize that when we are subject to an outside experience in order for us to experience something, we are thus showing/proving to ourselves how our enslavement works through outer elements which we require for our perceived happiness and survival.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not see/ realize/ and understand that we have to correct what we have created and stop the creation of this world through the polarity of emotions/feelings/love and thoughts of and as the mind as consciousness.

I forgive myself for all the times when I stood up for and shouted out for the sake of and in love when all the while how I was experiencing myself was limited to the end of the line within a pattern of energy existent only within the construct of my mind as consciousness.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that love will save the world when I’ve proved to myself that the only way love will benefit the world is through living it for real in self-honesty through supporting an Equal Money system allowing all life the support of/as forgiving for living.

I commit myself to stopping the polarity of and as love/hate as a battlefield through stopping participation in and as emotions and feelings and through self-forgiveness and in self-honesty directing myself according to what’s best for all life here.

I commit myself to educating humanity that happiness is not about doing as happiness is not defined by anything separate from self.

I commit myself to comprehending, living and supporting myself and my neighbor according to and through an Equal Money System to experience the joy of how life can be as a humanity as life as breath within and as Oneness and Equality.

I commit myself to walking the Journey to Life for/as Living Proof for myself of being One and Equal as all Life standing in support of an Equal Money system.

Read The following Blogs for further perspective and assistance with regards to love and life.

Heaven’s Journey to Life – DAY 3: What does it Really Mean to be 'Alive'?

Heaven’s Journey to Life – DAY 6: How did we Create Relationships of Positivity/Neutrality/Negativity?

Creation’s Journey to Life – Day 13: Failed Relationships

Creation’s Journey to Life – Day 14: Do you Love Breakups?

Creation’s Journey to Life – Day 19 – Rotten Love

Creation’s Journey to Life – Day 41: Spiritual Poverty of Love and Light

Creation’s Journey to Life - Day 44: In the Name of Love

Re: Cathy's Journey to Life

Posted: 02 Jun 2012, 13:44
by Cathy
Day 45: Holy Psywar: The Real Battlefield Is the Mind


I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fall into the ism of/as the consumer where according to the advertisers story of us, the way to happiness is through our consumption in/as buying things which is exactly how we’ve been manipulated/pre-programmed to exist as.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing only specific history lessons to be taught in the classrooms across the land where children learn lies within knowledge and information that’s been paid for through the blood loss of those before them, yet nothing of how history has been manipulated for the sake of supporting the power of money for those best described as us All as we All have continued to turn a blind eye – instead of standing together neighbor for neighbor, as a group in support of a system of equality to bring an end to that which we are constantly and continually trying to escape from.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to pay no mind to what’s really going on within this world, because I’ve been pre-programmed Not to notice and/or care about the thousands and thousands of living beings who have been and are brutally tortured and massacred in class warfare due to working conditions – for instance those who died in the ‘Ludlow Massacre’,which was an attack by the Colorado National Guard on a tent colony of 1200 striking coal miners and their families , which resulted in violent deaths including women and children, some of which asphyxiated and burned to death after a day long strike for decent wages and living conditions such as the basic right to feed, clothe and provide for one’s family, yet their life ended in death and those remaining grew in acceptance of self in/as poverty infear of the fact that they saw no other choice but to obey – within this I see myself in how the atrocities that exist within this world is the responsibility of us All to stop, forgive, direct, amend and heal us of our past forever.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not see the pain through the eyes of my neighbor, brother, coworker and/or my enemy (inner me).

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed numerous atrocities within this world to exist as I walked right through and past them looking on in condemnation.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not see/ realize and understand how I/ We have been pre-programmed and manipulated as mind consciousness machines to ensure our support for/of a world/money system which literally survives as it’s best through acts of war.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not realize that the only real choice we’ve accepted and allowed for ourselves is the choice that keeps money in the pockets of those who already have everything.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to bury my face in a history of spiritual deception and then claim I’ve been forgiven by a God willing to grant me a heaven – when in self-honesty, I see how the only sin is in the believing that we’re going to escape to anywhere other than right back here to face our responsibility and walk the correction of the Mess of our wAges for allowing poverty/starvation/murder/SIN against our neighbor.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to be manipulated by staged fabrications from the press as propaganda often in the form of smiles and/or giving the appearance of warmth which have been nothing more than a distortion of our economic values such as with acts of charity – which serves the purpose to relieve peoples stress just enough without actually changing the system and is in fact the way in which to actually maintain an already corrupt world/money system by simply giving people just enough to prevent them from realizing exactly what’s been accepted and allowed within this world in order that the wealthiest in the world remain that way.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to support a world/money system that values a democracy of material goods whereas the citizen has become a consuming machine pre-programmed in/as the ism of capitalization, thriving in the consumption of objects of monetary value over life itself.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to live the human dilemma in the belief that the end justifies the means so much so that we’re deliberately deaf to the countless number of beings suffering without seeing the cause in the affects created as the monster in/as war machines attacking each other according to the propaganda used as ‘props against us’, where we attack life, and then have the nerve to blame another for our madness instead of realizing we as our mind of/as consciousness are our own worst enemy (inner me).

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not realize that consumerism offers a quick fix which causes people with little chance to change their social conditions in life to feel as though they are climbing the social hierarchy, when in fact, we’re standing still in our Mess.

I commit myself to supporting a system of equality where the story of us lacks consumption in that there is no more stories to stack against us, there is only here, living harmonies together All One as Life.

I commit myself to supporting a system of equality where humans will stop racing to be the first at a finish line and instead will walk together enjoying each others expression.

I commit myself to supporting an education system that teaches Not fear, yet through gentleness in self-honesty the history of who we’ve been and what we’ve accepted and allowed and through forgiving the past of our future we direct and assist humanity to realize themselves in another through walking a process of receiving that which one first willingly gives unto others as self through the principle of Equality.

Re: Cathy's Journey to Life

Posted: 03 Jun 2012, 18:43
by Cathy
Day 46: The Devil and The Angel On My Shoulder

Today my partner and I had to spend most of our day in the city. At the last moment we decided to stop for a salad at a Deli we’ve not been to in 3 months, even though it’s always been a favorite place of ours to eat. The Deli sits atop about 30 concrete steps and as I reached the top and entered the Deli, I became aware of how I was having a negative energetic experience of myself.

Immediately I began to ask myself what thought was I in that I was allowing my mind to be, because I’ve proved to myself through lessons in Desteni I Process that participation in thought, equals the direction of ones energy.

So as I walked past the table where we sat the last time we were there, I realized how I saw myself as actually walking my past as my future in that moment. I then realized how within myself, I was pretending to not see and understand how I was confronting myself, all the while actually knowing exactly what was going on within me.

I made my way to the counter and lost breath inmyself so my partner assisted in ordering for me as I made an excuse to go to the restroom. When I entered the facility I noticed an experience of movement within my solar plexus as well as an odd anxiety and I was strangely aware of the fact that I was resisting to face that which I feared within what I already knew.

I also realized something interesting in that my fear was talking to me as my secret mind, giving me reasons through rapid thoughts for how and why I was experiencing myself, and at that point, I just stood there, still, and focused on my breathing.

In less than a minute I made my way out of the restroom and slowly fixed my salad when I remembered an interview by Anu that I hadn’t heard yet called, “Reptilians – My fear companion – Part 44″, and, I was grateful I had my MP3 player with me because I was ready to hear it during our drive home. As it turned out, the interview, was the perfect assistance.

My partner and I sat down and began to eat and as we began to talk, I noticed how what my partner was saying seemed to be going on and on, and within my solar plexus was a rising of what was an emotional desire to burst into tears. That was actually the very support I required to shake me up because I rarely experience myself anymore within such a reaction.
I saw how the point was laid out before me and I knew that what was happening was definitely a self-created pattern of/as an emotional reaction, and I knew that I had to stop it.

And that’s what I did, I breathed and directed myself to investigate, and I asked myself if the fear I was existing as was actually serving me in any way whatsoever? NO!

I realized then, how, the last time we had eaten at the Deli was 9 days before my brother died. It was also when I was physically sick as well, and I had experienced a similar anxiety during our visit to the Deli that day because of me existing within and as fear of loss/death. Exposing the fear, and sharing with my partner my realization and self-forgiveness, assisted my physical body to release from anxiety within.

Join us and prove for yourself who you are walking the Journey to Life


I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to exist as a unconscious thought pattern within a mind construct/pattern of anxiety creating an energetic experience of myself where thought participation equals the direction of/as energetic polarities of good/bad, positive/negative and right/wrong.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to walk past myself as who I am as breath, as I pretended to not know who I am because of the fear of facing my knowing in the detail of what I exist of/as.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to avoid going into the details of my life and history and walking into my mind as a consciousness system because I fear what I’ve deliberately hid from myself.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to create an unconscious emotional reaction/memory/pattern manifestation in my physical body as energy that is intertwined within the mind as well as the physical, where fear is the devil and the angel on one’s shoulder. (For further perspective download @ Eqafe: “Reptilians – My fear companion – Part 44“)

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to continue borrowing tomorrow within a mind set living in fear of the future – instead of realizing that anything to do with the future exist within the point of manipulating and controlling the human.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not realize how fear is so taxing that one doesn’t want to move themselves outside their current familiar fear based comfort zone.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear the emotional feeling energy in/as ‘fear of loss’ – instead of realizing that one is already experiencing ‘loss of self’ lived in fear of and as a mind consciousness system.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to Not realize that to justify our behaviour patterns gives us the cause for our fears.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to breathe life into bullshit quotes such as: “We never understand how little we need in this world until we know the loss of it” – which actually projects us to live out our fate within a world in polarity where there are the ‘Haves’ and the ‘Have Nots’ – instead of standing together as a group in support of a system accepting of and as all living beings.

I commit myself to comprehend and stand in taking self-responsibility in self-honesty for who I am within what I’ve accepted and allowed as my actions and creations as self, where I will walk in and as an ability to respond to my environment and society, and hold them equal and one to and as an expression of/as self supporting a world according to what’s best for all.

I commit myself to supporting a system of Equality where the greatest freedom is the greatest choice of/in giving the quality of life to/for All Life, according to what’s best for all.

Re: Cathy's Journey to Life

Posted: 04 Jun 2012, 16:51
by Cathy
Day 47: It’s Only Me – I am my missing peace

You judge you or you create you
There is no middle road” ~ Bernard Poolman
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to deny that love follows sorrow even when I knew within the depths of me that when I love I start to fear, but it’s only me – I am my missing peace.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not realize that the expression of me is not about setting self instone limiting who I am according to that which I’ve known as me through comparison as self-judgment.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not realize that by piecing together the puzzle of who I’ve been in self-honesty in facing what I’ve accepted and allowed through words as the actions of self lived, will I see myself clear in stop the belief that peace must be bought at any cost through the suffering and death of others.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not realize that in fear I have loved life according to my reactions to my environment as my mind as consciousness and thus given right to the devolution of me.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed the pieces of myself through participation to direct me as a mind consciousness system and have infact manifested and developed attacks within/upon and through my physical body and physical reality into a manifested state of degeneration.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to through learned behaviours as my physical body language have imprinted myself though time into and as our physical environment through spoken words lived in and as acts against another as and through greed/spite and ego to such an extent that I/We reaped money from the branches of living trees as who we are.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to through anticipating my own addictive behavioral patterns have subjected my physical body and physical reality to a process of tissue deterioration.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to impose me as my mind as consciousness upon our environment where through visual pictures and subconscious and unconscious memories in forgetfulness have issued suffering to/towards my neighbor.

I commit myself to continue walking the 7 year process to nothingness, writing self-forgiveness in/as the Journey to Life within mastering pieces of me as the words as who I am within who I’ve been according to what I’ve accepted and allowed and created myself as, thus committing myself to holding myself responsible and accountable to not stop until All and Everyone is forever provided for, protected, comforted and nurtured in and as our Love in and as loving according to what’s best for all.

Re: Cathy's Journey to Life

Posted: 05 Jun 2012, 17:49
by Cathy
DAY 48: I’m-Pulsed

“The conscious and intelligent manipulation of the organized habits and opinions of the masses is an important element in democratic society.” ~ Edward Bernays


I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to ignore the truth of how manipulated and enslaved humanity is even when the facts are written in plain sight and in the blood of the war-torn, poor and starving.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe in the right to an opinion when clearly opinions within this world are carefully orchestrated and manipulated through greed where those who have the least support those who have the most.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear questioning society because to question the substance of our society within the hierarchy of rich vs poor, means that I must first question substance within myself.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to be i’m-pulsed and MANipulated by manufacturer’s and corporation’s to want and to buy things that I don’t really need by linking mass produced goods to my unconscious desires.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to be controlled and directed through the education system, television and advertisements and according to inner selfish desires of what makes me ‘feel happy’, where within that I’ve become a living expression of the perfect impulsed consumer – satisfying and gratifying myself through products for birthdays and holidays keeping myself pre-occupied within the belief that ‘love’ is for real – when in reality, ‘love’ is always ‘for sale’, because what I love is the energy high of having the most money to spend/impress and buy the loving feelings of another.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not realize that within my secret mind of thoughts and desires – I’m-pulsed to collect energy as love and money – buying my way to experiencing love through using/spending/receiving/abusing and/or giving money to satisfy a desire for love/sex.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed the media to spin pictures and ideas which I participated in within my mind, thus became impulsed and manipulated through subtle messages that reinforce certain brands and buying patterns within my unconscious mind.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to resist seeing who I’ve been within the choices I’ve made in my life according to the money I’ve spent and the part I play within the patterns and deliberate acts of manipulation upon society.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing countless acts of self-dishonesty, where according to how the rich and famous are beHaving, in how their spending their money – is how I determined what I would then desire to spend my money on.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not realize how cigarettes were staged as’the torch of freedom‘ by rich debutante’s who were paid to appear smoking during a large public gathering in order to ‘set the stage’, so that women would ‘feel free’ and accepted as a smoker, thus the staging would increase sales for cigarette corporations through symbolizing the cigarette as ‘the torch of freedom’, and just as was projected/manipulated, the sale of cigarettes increased within the impulse that if a woman smoked, it made her powerful and independent and within that single act of deception - which occurred years before I was even born – I was impulsed to years later, follow the generations of women before me – wherein I made the choice to begin smoking and loved it, thus, I spent/burned alot of money on an irrational idea that I accepted and allowed as rational.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed a world/money system that links products to unconscious emotions/desires and feelings based upon the plan of the wealthy to inherit the earth no matter the cost of the suffering.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not see/ realize/ and understand that that which I fear letting go of and/or giving up within my world is an indication that I have defined myself as that which I fear letting go of and/or giving up through my mind consciousness system – thus I must direct myself to walk through the resistance of giving it up and letting it go unconditionally, because I have already proven to myself that no matter the perception of difficulty, if I don’t do it – the universe as myself will forcefully take it from me.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not realize that fear of loss only exist in the mind because in self-honesty, I see that I am not able to lose anything, not even myself.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not realize that fear of loss is derived from obsessions and/or possessions, thus the fear of letting go of and/or giving something up is how and what I have defined myself as within a fear of, if I give it up I will lose myself, and the fear of losing self can only exist within the mind as consciousness.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to be part of the problem within this world – Thus
I commit myself to being part of the solution for this world in supporting an Equal Money system, which will be the beginning for all to have the opportunity for the awareness of self to step forth.

I commit myself to slowing myself down in awareness of me here breathing and to stop manipulation and impulses and, to always consider what’s best for all first within all my decisions, directions and actions of/as self.