Bella's Journey to Life

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Bella
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Re: Bella's Journey to Life

Postby Bella » 20 May 2012, 19:21

Bella's Journey to Life Day 36: Debunking that One Point of 'Higher Energy' | Has God become Consumer??


So in previous blog posts I looked at the points of Hoping and Waiting, Fear of Change, as well as how Wants emerge from our self-consciousness as a picture in a picture-world, where words and pictures are connected to energetic experiences and so we define our world and ourselves in polarities between 'positive' and 'negative', ‘want’ and ‘need’, forever trapped between desires and fears, actually the projections thereof, while we miss the actuality of reality and abdicate our authority of self-determination and self-responsibility.

Today I listened to two Life Review interviews which I suggest everyone dealing with or looking at relationships Hear (for Links see bottom), and through the interviews I saw further aspects that I had not considered thus far; especially and specifically in relation to the word 'Care'.

While I did look at how to practically live self-care, bringing the point back to self to stop the separation I have manifested toward the word and experience of 'Care' - what I had not applied thus far was the realization that Living is here in every moment. Therefore it is not about creating a new 'concept' of 'Care' which then gets projected into the future, manifesting again separation - but about Living Care in the small things, in every moment, Here.

It can be small things from how I breathe, how I hold my posture, how I relax within my physical body, how I eat, the company I keep to myself, my practical self-application of for instance stopping thoughts of self-doubt or stopping myself from into back-chat about what I still require to do, change, stop, transform; so that I may instead Be Here in every moment, living breath by breath, Giving me back to me, Giving me the gift of life in every breath.

I even noticed how I myself was through this point as the want /need /desire for care and the experience of being cared for: possessed within my mind, and not in a position to actually care for another the way I would like to be cared for.

This goes to show the possessive nature of the mind consciousness where it's all about 'getting' and 'receiving' and 'having' and in essence 'possessing' that which we separate ourselves from and then look for it to be given to us from others; wherein in the end, instead of me possessing or having or getting anything, I become possessed with this one point - which, looking at it now, I can see has been determining my entire existence since I can remember. And I have accepted myself to define myself through this point so extensively, that I've allowed this one point to infiltrate and determine all aspects of my life, my decisions, my choices, and foremost: my relationship with myself.


An important point within this whole pattern, aspects of which I described and investigated in previous blogs (see hyperlinks top paragraph) is the point of energy and the polarity friction as the mental and emotional energetic experiences and value-judgments through which we perceive and define our world and ourselves.

If we look at this point of the Want, Need, Desire to be 'cared for' and experience 'care': it has a 'positive' charge to it. This however implies that for me to want /need /desire the perceived 'positive', I have perceived me here as the 'negative' thereof.

This creates a loop, literally like an infinity symbol, within which self is trapped in a carousel of energetic ups and downs, none of which actually real, substantial, or related to the actuality of the physical reality, but defined and played-out within the mind, creating an alternate reality which becomes the experience of oneself and the filter through which one will approach one’s reality, with the result that self never gets to the realization of that point of for instance Care from a starting-point of equality and oneness with the actual living application of the word.
Who am I within and as Care?
How do I practically define Care?
How do I care for me?
How do I care for life?
How do I care for others?
What does that practically, physically entail?

In the same way, within realizing that one has defined Care within a 'feeling' as a projected 'positive'-charge of an idea: one is able to ask oneself:
What is that feeling I am searching for really?
Where did I see it, witness it, observe and define it?
Why does this ‘feeling’ have a ‘negative’ counterpart?
Is it real or is it only an idea, an image, a Hollywood concept?
Will I ever be able to 'have' and 'maintain' such 'feeling'?
What is the nature of feelings?
Why does 'feeling' exist within and as polarity?
Why and how is 'feeling' connected to the mental?
What does 'feeling' through the mental imply?
What have I missed?
When is feeling real?

The answers are often more simplistic than expected, because it is the mind that is complex - it has to be, because it has to create all that reasoning, justifications, excuses, filters, perceptions, veils to make sure it gets to hold on to and 'possess' that one point of Want /Need /Desire, because that is how friction within self is created, through constantly thinking and turning that one point around within the mind, and the friction keeps the energy running, up and down and up and down: and that friction is what preserves the energetic persona /personality as the self-consciousness within the mind that has taken over the being and replaced all common sense and self-honesty with the fuzzy logic of the consumerism system, where it’s all about 'winning' and 'losing', all about "me, me, me" and my self-interest.


Ironically, self-interest is not even in the interest of a being as such, it is only in the interest of a personality, a want, a need, a desire, and in essence in the interest of the system, because that is what the system wants:

consumers preoccupied with consuming more and more and more, consumers in fear of loss, consumers in competition, consumers possessed with their apparent possessions, consumers blinded in the mind and trapped within themselves, because that will make sure that the system is not challenged, that will make sure that the energy-game continues within and the power-games continue without; and as we consume ourselves and each-other, the system consumes the earth and the resources that are here for all through logistics of inequality and disregard for life - and it won't stop UNLESS we stop.

So - even though it's a simple point and actually self-evident if one in fact observe the actuality of reality within and without, it's not going to be easy to re-educate the world about what energy is and how polarity energetics operate, especially due to the brainwashing done through preying on man's delusions of grandeur:

where not only the money-system with money as energy, but also spirituality/religion and science/technology: present 'energy' to be something 'miraculous', something 'out there', something like 'god', something that promises 'higher dimensions' and transcendence to multiple universes –

when in fact we do not even understand energy within and as ourselves and this one universe we find ourselves in; we fail to regard and common-sensically study the multidimensional physical laws of this one existence as our world, of the one universe each has in its custody as our physical body; and yet we 'reach out to the stars' and have all these great hopes and expectations and projections of dreams and desires about some profound experience 'out there' somewhere...trying to possess ‘more energy’, but the more we try to possess, the more we become possessed: by and as energy.


This shows the extent to which we exist in the mental and manifest our world through the mind, imposing our mental wants, needs and desires onto the physical reality both within and without – in spite of the evidence that nothing we've ever created has made any real, substantial difference or has brought any break-through in terms of the veils we've covered-up our existence with, both within and without.

And the more we seek and try to find, the more we delude ourselves and the further we distance ourselves from the answer - the answer which has always been here: as ourselves and this existence as our creation.



I commit myself to exploring and investigating in self-honesty and common sense how energy functions and operates, so that I may understand and expose the energetic traps we have deceived ourselves into, both individually and collectively as humanity;

to re-educate ourselves and each-other as to how we can take back the power we abdicate to the mental through our existence of separation, fear, self-interest and greed;

to re-educate ourselves as to how we’ve used and abused words to mislead ourselves and each-other with energetic experiences of ‘heaven’ and ‘hell’, ‘reward’ and ‘punishment’, ‘superiority’ and ‘inferiority’, ‘positive’ and ‘negative’: towards only 'our' individual desires created and supported through this consumerism system in separation from life where we create our relationships in separation from life as ourselves and each-other and only from the starting-point of our wants /needs /desires -

so that we may see how we have been manifesting the experience of ourselves individually and collectively as this world, and finally begin to develop and establish actual caring relationships with ourselves to begin with, with the physical, the earth, each-other;
through self-honestly investigating how we came to be who, what and how we are within ourselves and our participation in all our relationships in the world, investigating how we abdicate our authority and responsibility to others whom we then spite and blame when we don't get what we want - but never consider giving it to ourselves, becoming it as ourselves, living the solution as ourselves.

I commit myself to investigating and forgiving = giving back to myself: all points I have separated myself from through 'positive' or 'negative' interpretations as energetically charged experiences that I either seek/desire or fear/avoid:

because such energetic relationships indicate that I am making myself subject to relationships /to 'others' to fulfil me and will blame others/my world when I don't get what I want.
When in fact I am the one making myself subject to such defined polarity points and am thus mind-controlled by my own hand, through my accepted and allowed definitions, interpretations, perceptions, through a mind that was conditioned and formed not by me myself but by the rules of this world, this system, this energetic prison of existence to which I have subjected myself - instead of utilizing the mind to create me in self-awareness as life, as self-creation, in self-responsibility, in full regard and consideration of the whole as my context of existence, thus also investigating, understanding and considering the cause and effect of my existence not only for myself, but also for all that is here.


I commit myself to living the realization and sharing the understanding of what Jesus showed: that if you are found wanting, you cannot enter the kingdom of heaven. Why? Because you are wanting the kingdom of heaven, yet you do not give it, you do not become it, you do not live it. And because when you want, you're saying that you do not have. Thus you cannot give. And a want is by design always remaining a want, a need, a desire, a projection; because one has already defined and accepted that one does not have.

I commit myself to bringing forth a new way of life, a new world system based on the principle of oneness and equality – so that we may GIVE to all what we would like to receive, love our neighbour as ourself, and become like the children in expressing, exploring, sharing, embracing all that is here, living in every moment, having FUN!

I commit myself to bringing forth a new system that will assist man to let go of the delusional and abusive ideas of ownership, possession, wants and needs, desires and fears – a new system that will show that fear is a deliberate and deceptive creation used and abused to manipulate and justify the inequality and exploitation of life that is being accepted and allowed.

I commit myself to sharing the common sense that in a world system based on the value of life, where the oneness and equality of life is practically honoured and applied in all possible ways: all can have and all can give, all can participate equally in the formation and transformation of our world into what is best for all, all can be Here as equals of Life in this One reality we all share;
and that within this, each one can be the best one can be, realizing that equality and the value of life are not measured through what one do or the abilities and talents one have, but through who one is within every moment of participation, who one is in the context of the whole, who one is in the face of everyone, who one is in self-realization as life.

I commit myself to bringing forth a new monetary/management system for our world, where money is no longer an energetic thing that we try and possess and end-up possessed and governed by; but instead a system where we transform money into a tool of equal distribution, equal access, equal opportunity, equal power = within this giving money the value of life and transforming money from a tool of abuse and inequality into a tool of life-support and equality. That is what god would do, that is what Life what want.

So why are we not stepping up as humanity to do what it takes to take back the power we’ve abdicated to the systems of this world? The answer is simple: as long as we, within ourselves, are governed and driven by the same principles that run the world out there: we will continue pursuing self-interest in greed, we will continue existing in accepted fear and power-games of ‘superiority’-‘inferiority’, we will continue with our delusions of perceived ‘control’ or ‘power’, waiting for the world to change before we change.

I commit myself to stopping this self-delusion within myself, and aligning myself to my decision of who I am in the face of existence, standing-up to live and bring forth: oneness and equality of life as the highest possible condition for the birthing of LIFE in this existence.
I commit myself to sharing the common sense that it is time we re-consider what we place value into, re-evaluate the ways of our participation in existence, and re-form our world within and without so that we may give life back the value it actually has – give ourselves and each-other the value of life.

Obviously, that would be best for all, and best for each one individually. So let’s get real, let’s make ourselves real as life, that is in fact the calling of life, that is what self-realization is about: the actuality of who we are, the actuality of our reality, the actuality of our creation.

It’s time we take responsibility for our creation and the effects of our cause. Is this really what we want to leave behind for the children to come? Is this really what we want to return to?

Time to become self-honest; time to look ourselves in the ‘I’ – and See what is here, blatantly manifest in this world for all to See.



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Bella
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Re: Bella's Journey to Life

Postby Bella » 21 May 2012, 21:03

Bella's Journey to Life Day 37: What Image and Likeness | Man as God or Evil?


I forgive myself that I haven't allowed myself to see, realize and understand that this world manifests in the image and likeness of its people - and that we are the building blocks of the system, the world as we know it.

I forgive myself that I've accepted and allowed a world where we believe in 'god' as 'creator' - yet we use our faith only to pursue our self-interest and serve our desire and fears, while we deliberately fail to consider the implications of the sentence that 'god created man in his image and likeness', which would imply Man as Creator, therefore Responsibility for this creation, this world is upon Man, not upon 'god'.

Within this I forgive myself that I've accepted and allowed a world where we wait for 'god' to 'save' us and take responsibility for 'his creation' - when we ourselves refuse to take responsibility for our creation and fail to save ourselves from the consequences we have created in this existence.

I forgive myself that I haven't allowed myself to see, realize and understand that all projections of a 'god' as depicted in this world by religion and spirituality serve but the delusion of man and offer only a scapegoat for man to defer his responsibility, to not have to stand-up and face self and the creation of self.

I forgive myself that I've accepted and allowed a world where we refuse to investigate and understand our 'image and likeness' as manifested in this world - and where we support systems that 'educate' us in inequality, competition and survival fear based on false 'idols' (iDolls) and fake 'values' (fucked values) designed to trap man into infinitely serving the system and manifesting the world as we know it - in the name of profit.

Within this I forgive myself that I haven't allowed myself to realize that the system is 'god' over this existence, with money the 'unholy spirit' and man the 'son of god' created in the image and likeness of the system as we expose our children to the systems that create this world in spite of the evidence that we are educated into greed, denial, mind-control.

I forgive myself that I haven't allowed myself to see, realize and understand that every creation is always equal to and one with its creator; and that we can thus learn about ourselves by looking at our creation - our relationships, our children, our systems, our interactions, the woes and ways of our individual lives - and investigating our role within manifesting what we are currently facing, individually and collectively.

I forgive myself that I haven't allowed myself to consider that the image = the manifestation without is always equal to and one with the likeness = the beingness within; and that therefore this world is the image of our likeness and reflects the truth of ourselves that we've been trying to deny.

I forgive myself that I've accepted myself as 'fallen' and have through this acceptance allowed myself to abdicate my self-responsibility to projections of 'gods', 'saviors', 'creators', 'the system' in my attempt to 'ascend' and redeem myself when I have in fact abdicated my right to life as equality through abdicating my equal responsibility for what is here as hell on earth, as I suppress my power as life and use my accepted 'inferiority' as a 'justification' to deny my responsibility as co-creator of this world.

I forgive myself that I haven't allowed myself to self-honestly investigate my likeness as who I am within and to ask myself whether I would wish that likeness without hesitating upon every living being; or whether I would correct and align my likeness before I create anything in my image and set it out into the world as my creation.

I forgive myself that I haven't allowed myself to consider that my likeness causes effects that affect not only me myself, but this entire existence as a whole; and that I haven't allowed myself to consider the effects I cause in the bigger picture through who I am in every moment of breath with every thought, word and deed; because I've always only been considering 'my' picture, 'my' context of reality, 'my' self-interest, within this actually playing 'god' in my mind while abdicating my actual responsibility as creator of this reality.

I forgive myself that I've accepted and allowed myself to deceive myself and others into an existence of mental projections and false values, where we manipulate the image to pretend a 'better' likeness, in spite of the evidence the images of real-life in this world are confronting us with.

I forgive myself that I've accepted and allowed myself to deceive life as myself and my world by pursuing self-interest driven by my fears and desires, 'justified' with the definitions of my fuzzy logic designed to veil common sense and the actuality of reality, so that I always only see "me, me, me" as I trap myself within an alternate mind-reality where I am the super-hero, because whether victor or victim: it's all about "me".

I forgive myself that I've accepted and allowed a world where we 'educate' our children into memes - brainwashing children into separation with the polarity mind-control of fears and desires through words, beliefs and energetic experiences, leading children to become nothing but clones of the system, designed to serve the system, conditioned to be driven by fears and desires and so the system consciousness makes their decisions, determines their choices and leads their way; while the life spark in each one is being suppressed and the voice of common sense oppressed, to make sure the system is never challenged to the extent of the required transformation that will end all exploitation, all abuse, all manipulation and the deception of the current world order.



I commit myself to re-educating myself and my world in practical common sense, investigating and presenting cause and effect - so that we may all see, realize and understand the consequences we are facing and how we have created them; Because within this understanding: we can no longer deny our responsibility for what is here.

I commit myself to bringing forth new systems of actual life-support that will no longer allow mind-control through fear and the commercialization of desires;

a new system starting with equal money for all from birth to death that will practically place everyone in the same starting-point, acknowledging the value of life in every living being, giving everyone equal access, equal chances, equal power - so that each one may live to their utmost potential;

an equality system that will establish real democracy, where all living beings have equal say in all practical matters of existence, so that power and authority is no longer given to single governments or leaders, but to all equally as life - so that the voice of the people may be the common sense that we've lost in our quest for profit and grandeur while we've disregarded life to the most atrocious extent possible.


I commit myself to self-honestly investigate my image and likeness, to make sure that what I live by example is what is best for all life - so that I and those who walk with me may be/become living examples of life's redemption; so that life may finally emerge in this existence from the little sparks of life in each one of us and be like the SUN that shines for all equally.

I commit myself to investigate where and how I abdicate my responsibility - so that I may take back the power and authority I've given away and stand in self-responsibility and self-equality and oneness as an accountable individual that lives what is best for life.

I commit myself to investigate where and how I manifest relationships of inequality - so that I may stand-up and re-align my relationships in regard and support of all participants as life, and assist myself and others in standing-up in self-responsibility, self-dignity, self-respect to be the building blocks of a new world where life is the value.

I commit myself to getting to know my 'likeness', my beingness, and making sure that the image I exist as is equal to and one with who I really am.
Within this I commit myself to re-creating who I am in self-equality and oneness as life, through forgiving and removing past conditioning and polarity constructs designed through the current system, stopping inequality and abuse within myself, and standing-up from each accepted point of self-dishonesty to stop the allowed separation and mind-control and bring forth an existence of self-willed equals that stand as life for all as one as equal.



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Bella
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Re: Bella's Journey to Life

Postby Bella » 22 May 2012, 20:33

Bella's Journey to Life Day 38: Give me more, more, more Energy


I forgive myself that I've accepted and allowed an existence where we exist only for 'more'; where all our actions, thoughts, words are set to get us 'somewhere', where we miss the moment that is Here by following the mind that's trying to 'get somewhere', 'get something' - more, more, and more.

I forgive myself that I've accepted and allowed an existence where we create relationships only to get that 'something more' - all the while we miss ourselves, we fail to be Here for real as complete living beings, equal and one with the physical reality that is ourselves.

I forgive myself that I've accepted and allowed an existence where we do not live self-honesty, because we do not have an actual relationship with ourselves other the one that is dictated and driven through the backchat in our mind, where we THINK things ABOUT ourselves and others, but we do not allow ourselves to develop self-intimacy, self-acceptance, self-equality, to get to know who we really are.

I forgive myself that I’ve accepted and allowed a society where we are so bombarded with images and concepts of 'happiness', 'love', 'fulfilment', that we are always in a pursuit to make such images and concepts ‘real’ - but we can't, because we are trying to make something ‘real’ in separation from ourselves. We are only building illusions and are deluding ourselves into alternate realities, projections of our desires and expectations that are not even ours: but programmed and conditioned into a personality with certain backchat-thoughts as a framework based on which we then approach our world - to get that ‘something’ that will apparently ‘fulfil’ us, and within that we only fill ourselves up with energetic illusions, more, and more, and more.

I forgive myself that I've accepted and allowed an education system that develops us into competitors striving to conquer the world through our 'ascension' in all kinds of hierarchies - whether it is the job, the peers, the money, the sex, the image, the 'power'.

I forgive myself that I've accepted and allowed the brainwashing of self based on concepts of 'power' that place power more than life –

thus we have a money-system that places money more than life, a religion-system that places god more than life, a production-system that places profit before life, a science-system that places knowledge before life, a technology-system that places information before life, an education-system that places performance before life, a family-system that places competition before life, a media-systems that places idols, images and sensationalism before life;

and a society that places the ‘values’ of these systems before life, resulting to a society of individualized conquerors, where we'll divide to conquer what we can get, to get that ‘sensation’, while we exist in fear of each-other, jealousy and greed, in constant comparison and competition, unless we have 'found' the fellow preys that will validate our delusions as we validate theirs, and then we'll fake happiness and fulfilment because our life goes by 'our rules', but in fact it is the rules we are subjecting and limiting ourselves to: as the conditions we place for our conditioned 'reality' to continue existing as if everything is 'okay' and no change is required.

I forgive myself that I haven't allowed myself to see, realize and understand that the conditions we place unto others: are the conditions we tacitly imply for ourselves equally –
yet we do not see the self-compromise because we do not look in self-honesty; we only look through the 'I' of the conditioned self-consciousness and its wants, needs, desires designed as a system by the system to keep us 'comfortably numb'.

I forgive myself that I've accepted and allowed myself to create 'rules' and 'conditions' for my happiness, my fulfilment, my existence - and within this I forgive myself that I've accepted and allowed myself to imprison myself within my own rules and suppress myself under my own conditions; allowing my own limitation through the concepts and ideas I have accepted in my mind ABOUT myself and ABOUT happiness, fulfilment, existence.

I forgive myself that I haven't allowed myself to let go of the accepted concepts and ideas of happiness and fulfilment, let go of the rules and conditions I've placed upon my existence - and dis-cover self-fulfilment within who I am, within what I GIVE, within giving me to me and living in a way that establishes self-fulfilment rooted in self-honesty, self-intimacy, self-discovery.

If we can see that what we call ‘life’ cannot really be what life is about - then we must be willing to let go of everything that is part of the matrix of what we call ‘life’ and be willing to discover ourselves from scratch; from the simplest things like breathing, touching, tasting, communicating.

I forgive myself that I've accepted and allowed an existence where we try to communicate with our world through the mind, through programmed and conditioned pathways of information wrapped in labelled boxes of knowledge with a price-tag; within this communicating only about knowledge, about information, about labels and values in separation from ourselves as life -

instead of establishing genuine communication with ourselves to begin with: who am I as a physical body, who am I as breath, do I breathe with my body or do I allow an automated existence while I play god in the mind, imposing the wants and desires and fears of the mind onto the physical and thus instead of using the physical to communicate and interact with ourselves and our world: we abuse the physical to 'get what we want', to 'get more', and more, and more.

I forgive myself that I haven't allowed myself to see, realize and understand that the mind ALWAYS wants 'more' - it is the nature of the mind to never be content, never be Here, but to always run around in circles searching, wanting, desiring, looking for: "something" out there somewhere - something that will give it more 'value', more 'power', more 'validation'. It is the survival-tactic of the mind to preserve itself as a persona, an idea, an image, a personality, a role in this game we call 'life' - a game where millions of lives are sacrificed in the name of profit, self-interest, greed.

I forgive myself that I haven't allowed myself to see, realize and understand that we never learned to nurture and sustain ourselves as physical bodies, because we have instead been taught to feed the mind: through patterns of thoughts, backchat, pictures and words, as we create alternate realities through projections of energetic experiences of polarity;
and the mind feeds on all the energy it can get, and keeps generating friction bringing up the same loops of bipolar thoughts, re-creating beliefs and experiences over and over again: and we still buy into, we 'feel' it, we follow it, we are overpowered by it, we are driven and directed by it, as we have given away all our authority to the mind to get us 'forward', and in this: we are possessed by an automated pilot that has only one thing in mind: MORE for ME.

I forgive myself that I haven’t allowed myself to see, realize and understand that instead of actually moving forward, we loop within our quest FORreWARd – REWARD - creating only WAR within and without; as we seek our 'evolution' through the mind, through technology, through depictions of reality, never getting to know the actual reality that is Here as ourselves to begin with.

I forgive myself that I haven’t allowed myself to see that we have not in fact brought forth any evolution, any transformation, and that the evolution of mankind is but a mutation where nothing has in fact changed in essence; whereby we don’t even understand energy, yet we follow its transformations from the 'positive' to the 'negative' in infinite loops, abdicating ourselves to the mercy of the energetic polarity forces within (mind consciousness) and without (money system), getting ourselves into more and more intense spirals of war and peace, love and hate, dominion and slavery.



I commit myself to investigating the polarity forces I have subjected myself to as I've followed the backchat and energetic experiences emerging from the mind as program - so that I may understand the program, stand equal to and one with the program I have become, and start using the mind in self-honesty as self-support, in realizing all that which is Not life, acknowledging where I have NOT been the directive power of me, and giving that authority back to myself to self-honestly determine a directive that will redeem life as myself and all that is Here.

I commit myself to showing how our world is subject to polarity forces we have created through the mental and imposed onto the physical, manifesting inequality and exploitation, disregarding the value of life, betraying life for 'energy', for the feeling of 'more', when we haven't even accepted ourselves Here, we haven't recognized ourselves as Life, we have only been existing within and as a matrix of words, pictures and polarity-energetics, that has been our mind-control, equal to and one with the money-system as world-system we have manifested as a reflection of ourselves:

as money is the energy everyone is trying to get 'more' of without, and 'value' is the energy everyone is trying to get 'more' of within.

I commit myself to bringing forth an existence, starting with myself, where we realize the value of life as who we are, and thus form our ways of life in honor of life as the actual value - as equality and oneness - to no longer accept or allow the separation of life and exploitation of substance for 'energy', because we are only consuming ourselves and each-other in a game where there can be no winners.

I commit myself to showing that a win-win system for all life is possible and simplistic, but it requires us to stop the game and re-educate ourselves, re-evaluate our 'values', learn from our mistakes and let go of the want /need /desire to control and dominate and abuse life in the name of self-interest /profit / 'power'.

I commit myself to showing that we have created false 'values' and false concepts of 'power' in this world, which we believe are 'infinite' in spite of the evidence that that is not so, shown by death, at the moment of which the personality, the possessions, the concepts no more exist and the body returns to its equality with earth, with it all our memories gone with the physical- and what remains of the personality is but a picture in the minds of the loved ones. Dust to dust.


I forgive myself that I haven't allowed myself to consider the symbolism depicted in the creation of man from the dust of the earth and the fact that man returns to the dust of the earth; and that if god created man in his image and likeness from the physical – then why does man not honor the physical as the substance we are all made of? Why does man not create with the physical a creation that will support all physical bodies including our planet, but only abuse the physical to create the illusions of the mind?

I forgive myself that I haven't allowed myself to see, realize and understand that if we place the mind as god - then we are its slaves.

I forgive myself that I haven't allowed myself to see, realize and understand that in order to transcend the mind, to transform the mind into a tool of life-support: we have to understand the mind, how it functions and operates, how we exist through the mind and the implications of existing through the mind.

And that equally to transcend the money-system and transform money into a tool of actual life-support: we have to understand the laws and silent agreements /acceptances /allowances through which we have manifested the current money-system over time, how it operates and the implications of such a system as the consequences for this world, this existence.


I commit myself to never stop exposing the atrocity of the system we have accepted and allowed and the deception on which it is based - wherefrom we are manifesting only an illusion of 'life', betraying life in the name of profit, exploiting the very hand that feeds us because we want more and more and more, never considering ourselves in the context of the whole as a physical universe but only our self-interest in the mind-bubble we exist as.

I commit myself to bursting all my bubbles and getting myself Here, equal and one with this physical reality, my body, and every body else - so that I may self-realize life as what is REAL in fact.

I commit myself to getting to know and understand the physical through lifting the veils of the mind, stopping the ingrained mind-control through self-honesty and self-forgiveness, and establishing a self-honest communication with myself, studying cause and effect, and walking breath by breath in self-respect, until every thought, word and deed is aligned with my decision to stand for life, stand as life, and be the creator of myself in self-dignity – so that we may manifest an existence of dignity and respect for life, as it should have been from the beginning.

I commit myself to investigating and stopping all points where 'I am found wanting', all points where I see myself 'wanting more', all points where I have separated myself from the value of life, all points where I've abdicated my authority to the mind to tell me what I 'want', 'need' and 'desire' and what I must 'fear' - so that I may free myself from the conditioned mind-control that keeps me limited to a only a persona, an image, a picture in a picture-world; so that I may make myself REAL as life.

When and as I see myself going into 'wanting more' or following an energetic experience in the hope/need/desire to 'get more' and 'be more' and 'have more': I stop and I breathe, and I remind myself of the illusion of the mind in its constant and never-ending quest for something to feed on.

I commit myself to nurturing myself as life through self-honesty, self-intimacy, self-acceptance; and through slowing down to the breath, walking breath by breath and not rushing into the mind, establishing an actual relationship of self-honesty with myself so that I may give me to me, so that I may give life to me, so that I may give myself the right to life and birth myself as life from the physical, to LIVE -

and from here to establish our relationships of self-honesty and self-support, so that we may get to know ourselves and our world as the mind we have become, to understand our creation, acknowledge the consequences of inequality, separation and the infinite desire for ‘more’, and stand-up to transform our existence into LIFE, in equality and oneness so that we no longer compromise life as ourselves and our existence.

I commit myself to bringing forth a new system of equality that will allow all human beings to do exactly that, to no longer be preoccupied with competition, survival, and the quest for the false 'values' we buy into within the current consumerism system –

a new system that will give us all the time, the freedom and the support to deal with what really matters, to deal with the matters at hand, which is the human psyche and its creation that allows for half the world to exist in suffering and lack while we exploit the natural resources of our planet that are given unconditionally for the nurturing of all living beings if it weren’t for the dictatorship of the mind that has monopolized the distribution of resources, goods and knowledge to serve the false concepts of 'power' and 'value' as promulgated in this world system.

I commit myself to not stop until all life is free and the systems we create to manage us do so in a way that support all life equally.



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Bella
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Re: Bella's Journey to Life

Postby Bella » 23 May 2012, 23:11

Bella's Journey to Life Day 39: Don’t believe everything you think


The mind speaks what it wants to hear.

So in other words we talk to ourselves in the head.

And that talk, whether positive or negative, will always be about ‘being right’. And depending on the conditioning, each mind will tend to either positive backchat manifesting illusions of grandeur and magnificence, or negative backchat manifesting delusions of powerlessness and self-victimization.

So it’s always about manifesting and maintain a certain preprogrammed self-image, with which one identify and then use to ‘justify’ one’s participation (or lack thereof) in this world.

So the preprogrammed mind consciousness is always busy ‘validating’ itself through self-talk, whether positive or negative.

In essence we are deceiving ourselves through the mind as a deliberate way to exist in denial and ignorance, pretending it is ‘bliss’.


I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed a world where ignorance is bliss, and where we are taught to delude ourselves into alternate mind realities, creating personas of ourselves as self-image which we will defend at all cost, just to not have to take self-responsibility.

I forgive myself that I haven’t allowed myself to see that within our existence as self-image, we are creating a society, a world, based on imaginative ‘power’, manifested as money, through which we try to control our existence – when in fact we have become slaves to our own creation, slaves to our self-image within, slaves to the money-system without.

I forgive myself that I haven’t allowed myself to realize that both and within and without: it’s always about energy – getting ‘more’ – where we’ve defined energy as ‘power’ and we always seek out for ‘more, when in fact we have become slaves to energy, following energetic-experiences up and down up and down, but in the end it’s always round and round.

Within this I forgive myself that I’ve accepted and allowed a world where we ignore and disregard history repeating, instead of realizing that we in fact keep history repeating: we do not stop within ourselves the patterns of our individual existence as our endless seeking for the ‘high’, the ‘more’, the ‘positive’ , all in self-interest and in disregard of anything else but “me”.

I forgive myself that I’ve accepted and allowed myself to define energy as ‘power’ and ‘control’ – instead of seeing the obvious: that we have accepted energy to have power over us, we have allowed ourselves to be controlled by energy as the bipolar mental and emotional patterns we subject ourselves to and keep repeating.

I forgive myself that I haven’t allowed myself to in the moment I see myself following energy as the backchat in the mind or reactions/emotions/feelings, whether positive or negative: stop and realize that I have the choice to stop following the conditioned programs that come up and keep replaying, as if that is all I can be, as if that is who I really am.

When and as I see myself going into following the backchat in the mind or energetic reactions as emotions/feelings: I stop and remind myself of the consequences, namely that I am abdicating my directive power to the conditioned consciousness of my self-image to create my ‘reality’ –
Therefore in that moment I slow down, and I take back the directive principle so that I may deal with the actuality of reality, and not with the mental projection of a persona as self-image to ‘validate’ who I think I am and what I think the world is.

When and as I see myself going into backchat trying to ‘validate’ my ‘experience’ as self-image and the image/idea I have of my world: I stop, and I let go of my ideas, concepts, expectations, and all points of self-righteousness, so that I may deal with the actuality of reality, in self-equality and oneness – not allowing myself to go into ‘superiority’ or ‘inferiority’, neither toward others nor toward myself.


I commit myself to stopping the backchat through immediate self-direction – because I see and realize that backchat only moves in bipolar patterns, either glorifying self/situations/others or inferiorizing and blaming self/situations/others just to have it “my way”, just to ‘validate’ “my view of reality”.

I commit myself to stopping myself from enslaving myself into self-talk in the mind – and to utilize writing as self-support tool to see things for what they are, self-forgive and let go of my delusions, and become the directive principle of myself in self-honesty.

I commit myself to stopping myself from following emotions and feelings, stopping myself from allowing them as conditioned responses/states to determine my decisions and who I am.

I commit myself to exposing the self-delusion we each in our ‘unique’ way exist within and practice in our world – so that we may free ourselves from the accepted mind-control and bring forth a world of self-dignity as life; where each stand in self-equality and oneness, in self-acceptance as life: then there will be no need to create ideas/concepts of ‘power’ and ‘powerlessness’, ‘high’ and ‘low’ and all the bipolar concepts and energetic that we’ve based our entire existence upon, manifesting such atrocious consequences for life, animals, plants, the planet, everyone and everything that is here.

I commit myself to taking back the power I’ve been abdicating to self-interest as energy, so that I may return myself to substance, earth myself, and walk in humbleness and equality with life.

Within this I commit myself to supporting the transcendence of our society through a new equality system that will assist us in letting go of our concepts and ideas of ‘energy’ as polarity – through equal money, equal access, equal participation, equal power – so that we may self-realize the value of life and give it to all that is here equally, bringing forth substantial and sustainable solutions for all matters at hand that we as humanity are facing, and substantiate ourselves within and as who we are as self-willed equals on this one earth: through practical common sense, self-honesty and self-realization as life, establishing systems of actual life-support that will support Living and not ‘surviving’, with money as a tool of equal distribution and participation and not as a tool of control and exploitation.



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Bella
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Re: Bella's Journey to Life

Postby Bella » 24 May 2012, 21:16

Bella's Journey to Life Day 40: The Courage to Live Self-Honesty


I forgive myself that I haven't allowed myself to see, realize and understand that to Live for real is to live self-honesty; and that to live self-honesty takes the courage to challenge all points of accepted self-dishonesty that manifest through and as our existence of conditioned preprogramming, wherein we have become only pawns in a greater system of separation, inequality, manipulation, abuse; and we have through our acceptances and allowances manifested ourselves in the image and likeness of the system, the world as we know it.

I forgive myself that I haven't allowed myself to see, realize and understand that to Live self-honesty will take the courage to challenge the current accepted system in all its forms and manifestations, recognizing, exposing and transcending all points of accepted separation, powerlessness, manipulation; stopping all power-games of 'superiority'-'inferiority'; and standing-up in self-equality and oneness, in self-realization as life, in the understanding that Life can only emerge from/within/as equality and oneness: because that is the only equation / condition / system that will ensure that we will never again manipulate, abuse or exploit life in the name of profit, greed, self-interest.

I forgive myself that I haven't allowed myself to see, realize and understand that we all have ONE main point wherein we place all our hopes for 'fulfilment' of the ONE want/need/desire in relation to our self-definition as self-image; ONE point where we compromise ourselves as life while we pursue our desire for 'personal happiness', not realizing that our existence is interdependent with all that is here, and therefore no one can be free as long as any one is allowing the pursuit of personal 'fulfilment' or 'happiness' to overshadow the common sense of what is best for all.

I forgive myself that I haven't allowed myself to see, realize and understand that by pursuing that ONE point of want/need/desire rooted in our CONCEPTS and IDEAS of 'fulfilment': we are in fact perpetuating and supporting the current world-system, as our desires/wants/needs are in fact being manufactured by the world-system of capitalism, consumerism and profit to make sure that we are infinitely enslaved to pursuing our personal desires (which in fact serve the self-preservation of the system) and so never stand-up to work together and manifest what is best for all as life: in equality and oneness.

I forgive myself that I haven't allowed myself to live courage in self-honesty as life, out of fear of being 'rejected' by the system' and 'left out' of what we call 'life' - instead of realizing that within this compromise I actually reject myself as life for the sake of fitting into the system out of irrational fears rooted in the conditioned 'education' we receive in the system to become servants and slaves and keep the world running as we know it.

I forgive myself that I've accepted and allowed myself to compromise courage within waiting/hoping for others to stand-up, for others to change, for others to make a difference - instead of me being the one, even if I am the only one, to stand-up and live the realization that our current way of living and co-existence is not supporting life but is in fact abusing and exploiting life in the name of self-interest, profit, greed; and therefore it will take all of us standing-up and standing together as ONE group, as life, to say No more and start living the change we want to see in our world.

I forgive myself that I haven't allowed myself to see, realize and understand that greed manifests in the bigger picture in the world as we know it through the accumulation of the seemingly menial 'small' points of greed that each one of us is allowing ourselves to participate in within our personal pursuit of happiness in self-interest:
and that is seen in all that we participate in, from what we buy, to how we eat, what and how we consume, who we are in our relationships, how we always want 'more', how we try to 'own' and 'possess' knowledge, wealth, people, reputation, fame, or any form of 'power' as defined in this world.

I forgive myself that I've accepted and allowed myself to compromise myself and undermine my courage to live self-honesty out of self-interest, as I have existed within ONE point of self-definition and from that: within ONE point of want/need/desire to apparently 'elevate' that self-definition and become 'more', thinking and believing that that's what life is about.

And within this I forgive myself that I've accepted and allowed myself to make life into something that is all about "me, me, me", and blinded by the desires/wants/needs I have programmed and conditioned myself to exist as, I have disregarded life as a whole and have refused to see the effect of my cause;

I forgive myself that I haven't allowed myself to see that the world exists the way it does because I as each one exist the way I do: as ONE conditioned self-definition as self-image trying to become 'more', thus manifesting ONE point as the projection of my wants/needs/desires getting 'fulfilled', which essentially becomes my own enslavement, my own self-compromise, as I compromise life as eternity for the pursuit of "my" self-interest that will only last so long.



I commit myself to stopping any and all forms of greed, when and as I see myself going into following a want/need/desire for 'more'.

I commit myself to investigating and forgiving/letting go of all points where I've placed HOPE into - the HOPE that such point in separation from me will somehow 'fulfil' my WANTS / NEEDS / DESIRES and make me 'MORE'.

I commit myself to investigating and forgiving/letting go of all points I separated myself from, all points I've separated from me into projections of 'superiority' and 'inferiority' - so that I may transcend the separation and bring all points/parts of me back to me, amalgamate as one and equal, and stand-up in self-equality and oneness to be the directive principle of myself as life, in self-honesty and self-responsibility.

I commit myself to investigating and letting go of any and all points where I define myself as 'powerless' or 'inferior', wherein I then try to 'gain power' or 'gain value' through getting/having/being 'more', 'better', 'superior' -

therefore, instead, I in that moment bring myself back to earth, in humbleness, and in the realization that real power is within who I am in every moment of breath as I live and establish self-equality and oneness in self-acceptance, acknowledging my cause and effect within the context of the whole as life;

I commit myself to living the realization that who I am in every moment is a statement of who I am in the face of life, therefore I take self-responsibility to make sure every statement as who I am in every moment is aligned with what's best for life -
and this is how I will myself to live courage, to live self-honesty as life, as I re-align myself from self-interest/fear/greed to the interest of life as common sense in equality and oneness.

I commit myself to sharing the common sense realization that what is best for life/all is equally best for me - and that we cannot transform the current world system of profit, greed, separation and self-interest unless we transform and transcend the separation, self-interest, fear and greed that we are accepting and allowing to exist within ourselves as who we are/have become.

I commit myself to sharing the realization that it takes courage to live self-honesty, and that we require to re-educate and strengthen ourselves as life - so that we may not only stand-up for/within ourselves and LIVE through self-will and self-determination, but also stand-up within our world and make sure we GIVE that to all, bringing forth solutions of practical common sense that will transform all systems of our world until all our interconnections are equalized to a coexistence as best for all, and no breeding ground for abuse, manipulation or exploitation of life is left: leaving no back doors for self-interest, fear, greed, but instead forgiving the past, stopping the blame and the abdication of our responsibility, and re-programming our existence into a new understanding of life that will make sure that we treat ourselves and each-other with dignity, as equals of life.



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Bella
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Re: Bella's Journey to Life

Postby Bella » 25 May 2012, 21:45

Bella's Journey to Life Day 41: Perception is Septic


I forgive myself that I haven't allowed myself to see, realize and understand that perception is the iGod we each create as self-consciousness within and as the mind to 'rule' over existence while we disregard the common sense of our physical reality that we all share.

I forgive myself that I've accepted and allowed myself to exist through perception - perception being "my view" of reality based on "my" conditioned self-image and the value-judgments I have adopted about the world;

Perception being also my 'alternate reality' as the relationships I create toward others/my world, wherein I create/define energetic charges in either 'positive' or 'negative' terms and respectively value-judgments, upon which I in essence measure myself against; within this creating relationships of definitions and value-judgments toward and about myself through perception/interpretation, thus limiting myself and the physical reality through the mental, which is always only a mediate communication, a translation - instead of immediate direct communication within seeing things for what they are.

I forgive myself that I've accepted and allowed myself to separate myself from myself through the creation of relationships - wherein I utilized relationships to form value-judgments in an attempt to 'complete' me and my view of the world - instead of realizing that actual completeness emerges only within equality and oneness as direct communication with all that is here as me, and that I do not have to create separation-relationships in order to be/become complete.

I forgive myself that I've accepted and allowed myself to create/perceive/accept the desire to 'connect' through relationships - instead of realizing that by definition the ‘desire to connect’ implies the acceptance of my separation as starting-point; and because separation is accepted as what is here as my allocation point: 'connecting' can only remain a desire, a projection, and the more I reach for it the further away it seems.

I forgive myself that I've accepted and allowed myself to create/perceive/accept the ‘desire to connect’ through relationships - instead of realizing that it is in fact myself that I yearn to 'connect' to, as I have separated myself into parts and aspects of me which I then 'look for' within my world - instead of looking here within myself.

I forgive myself that I haven't allowed myself to self-realize my interconnectedness with all that is here - because if I had in fact realized that interconnectedness as life, then common-sensically I would (as all would) live within self-fulfilment and in consideration of the whole, since anything that harms the whole: equally harms me.

I forgive myself that I haven't allowed myself to realize that the reason we refuse to self-realize our interconnectedness as life is the separate manifestations of self-consciousness that we each have become through 'education' as brainwashing within this world-system;
to such an extent that we exist in fear of losing that 'identity' we’ve created in separation and therefore we will develop an individual ‘logic’ through back-chatting in the mind in self-righteousness: as the religion of self that 'justify' our separation and we'll fight for our limitations as if it were the greatest good we have -

when that in fact is our very enslavement, it is the very parasite that eats off of our flesh, of our substance, of earth; and so we consume ourselves and the physical until we deteriorate and eventually die without ever transcending and breaking-free from the bounds of the personas our self-consciousness exist as to realize ourselves as life.

I forgive myself that I've accepted and allowed myself to exist from a starting-point of separation, from which I then reach out to 'connect' with others/my world - instead of realizing that it is possible to stop the accepted separation by bringing back to self and taking responsibility for: all relationships/definitions we have created/accepted/allowed -
so that we may see, realize and understand that all relationships/definitions we maintain are in fact parts of ourselves we've separated ourselves from and into either 'positive' or 'negative' definitions/relationships outside of ourselves.

Within this I forgive myself that I haven't allowed myself to see, realize and understand that we separate ourselves from the perceived 'negative' points, going into blame, spite, fear, because we don't allow ourselves to see that they exist equally within ourselves yet we deny/suppress them;
and that we separate ourselves from the perceived 'positive' points, going into jealousy, greed, desire, because we do not allow ourselves to accept those aspects equally within and as ourselves -

and so we create relationship-connections of 'negative-charge' towards all the 'bad' we perceive in our world so that we don't have to face it and correct it within ourselves;
and equally we create relationship-connections of ‘positive-charge’ toward all the 'good' we perceive in our world so that we don't have to be/become it as ourselves in self-responsibility -

and so we can never be complete, fulfilled, self-realized, but we maintain the separation to justify the perception of our self-image as 'superior' or 'inferior', while we equally judge others/our world in fragments of 'superior' and 'inferior'; enslaving not only ourselves to limited and polarized definitions, but also our world -

because as long as we do not take responsibility for what we perceive and experience in our world, both 'positive' and 'negative': we are giving permission for the world to continue existing as we know it.


I forgive myself that I haven't allowed myself to see, realize and understand that perception is not something we are born with, but rather something we are 'educated' into through the systems of this world that are based in profit and self-interest; and so our perception becomes equally based in self-interest, limited to only “my view” designed to ‘justify’ why I exist the way I do and why the world is as we know it – and within this, nothing ever changes, because we don’t.

I forgive myself that I haven't allowed myself to see, realize and understand that perception is not something we are born with, and yet a new born child in this world has a far better ability and freedom to communicate directly with all that is here as life than the average 'educated' adult.



I commit myself to investigating and removing the veils of my conditioned perception and stop my value-judgments - so that I may see what is here for what it is and realize what is real.

I commit myself to investigating my relationships and the value-judgments I place to define ‘them’ and ‘me’; to investigate what parts I have separate from myself and into 'positive' and 'negative' definitions so that I don’t have to face those points and take responsibility for –
so that I may bring every point I've separated myself from back to myself and amalgamate and align all of me here within and as self-equality and oneness in self-acceptance of life as the actual value we all share.

I commit myself to investigating how my perception was created and conditioned as I walk the introspection of myself and my life in self-forgiveness, self-honesty, self-corrective application - so that I may understand my creation as myself and thus enable myself to recreate myself in self-awareness as life within and as equality and oneness.

I commit myself to developing actual direct communication with myself to begin with, and my world equally, while I remove the veils of perception as mind-control through which I have accepted and allowed myself to judge and categorize my world and myself - so that I may see things for what they are and deal with what is here as a matter of fact.

I commit myself to sharing the common sense that we are infecting our children through the accepted education-system in this world, through which children become just copies of ourselves in the image and likeness of the system and adopt our fears and desires which we adopted from the generations before us:
and that this is why history is repeating both in the bigger picture and the smaller, as we keep recreating ourselves and our world through and as the limited consciousness patterns of polarity and separation.

I commit myself to sharing the common sense that perception requires value-judgment - and that as Jesus said "Judge not lest you be judged": we are in fact 'doing it to ourselves', limiting ourselves and each-other to an existence of imagery and show-off, trapped within concepts of 'inferiority' and 'superiority', enslaved to a money-system of fake 'values' and false 'power' –

because we do not stand-up to stop the crimes against life that emerge from the separation-consciousness of this world system passed onto each being that is born into the world through brainwashing-education, mind-control media, the money-system of inequality, the religion and spirituality belief-systems of empty promises, and all systems of our world equally by the promotion of fake ‘values’ and false ‘power’ towards which each being is ‘educated’ to strive for.

I commit myself to showing how we are all equally responsible for all the 'bad' that exists in our world - because instead of investigating and healing the root of the problem which is within the accepted ‘human nature’ and equally within the accepted ‘ways of the world’, we go into judgment and punishment, not realizing that who each one is: is a product of the world systems we are all accepting in our apathy, ignorance and arrogance as we pursue self-interest only and disregard the interconnectedness of LIFE.

I commit myself to showing that actual freedom can only come through self-responsibility, and that individual freedom is not enough to really be free - because how can I be free when parts of me are not; how can I be free when I have to watch my back in fear of my fellow being; how can I be free as long as fear and separation exist even within one single part of existence.

I commit myself to sharing the common sense that a healthy world can only be established by healthy individuals: as self-willed EQUALS of life that self-realize and acknowledge the interconnectedness of ALL life as ONE.



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Bella
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Re: Bella's Journey to Life

Postby Bella » 26 May 2012, 20:07

Bella's Journey to Life Day 42. Self-Honesty : Self Relationship the Starting-Point for Life


I am walking the process of investigating my relationships and how I have throughout my life defined myself through my relationships, through perception, through value-judgments, through trying to 'find' and 'fulfill' and 'complete' myself in separation from myself -

until now where I realize that the relationships we form toward others are always according to our own relationship toward ourselves - which is in fact missing, therefore SELF is always missing, thus why trying to 'find' self out there somewhere in relationships of 'partnership', 'spirituality', 'religion', 'technology', 'money': all relationships we form in separation from ourselves, hoping and expecting they will deliver us the 'missing link' - when in fact that 'missing link' has always been here as ourselves.

Last night I listened to some interviews (*see links at the bottom) that take on exactly this point - discussing with great clarity and simplicity essentials on the Mind, Consciousness Development, Children and Parenting, Relationships, Human Nature, Mind-Control, the World-System / Money-system. What is definitely coming through is the understanding of the process that is being walked in the face of the manifested consequences we each one individually and all collectively as mankind on Earth face.


I forgive myself that I haven't allowed myself to establish an intimate relationships with myself to get to know and live and direct the entirety of me in self-awareness –
because I submitted to the 'ways of the world' and adopted the filters and systems this world consciousness use to communicate and operate: but within this, we are only communicating through and as the systems of this world; we are not communicating ourselves, we are not communicating our beingness, we are not getting to know the beingness of ourselves and each-other, of our world, this physical existence;

Instead, we are each armed with the knowledge and information as the value-judgments and belief-systems of our kin, our culture, our society, our generation, our ideology, our fears and desires which are formed according to the fears and desires of those who have gone before us, ingrained through and as the unconscious mind throughout our childhood years, where we were still in the process of 'falling' from life and into the 'sin' that is this world consciousness;
And so we are the ‘fallen gods’ of this creation that have abdicated our responsibility and our authority as life to systems of separation, self-interest and profit, in spite of the evidence that we are doing so at the cost of life.

What is fascinating to understand is that the world matrix, which is often seen as a program, is actually also a creation.
And even though it is OUR creation, we fail to acknowledge it as such, we refuse to see that we are existing in the image and likeness of the system matrix, because we do not dare to get to know ourselves and how we function as consciousness, how our thoughts, experiences and definitions are created, and how we have been but FOLLOWERS:

as our existence has basically been that of acceptance and allowance, accepting and allowing the dominion of the world system consciousness over life, accepting and allowing our submission to the ways of the world, accepting and allowing ourselves to give up on ourselves as life for the sake of survival, accepting and allowing our inferiority, powerlessness and helplessness as a reaction toward the world system, while we become the same parents to ourselves that our parents have been to us:
distracting ourselves with pretty things and rushes of experiences to keep us preoccupied and 'comfortably numb' so that we may never question THEM, never question the WAYS of the WORLD, never question ourselves and ‘human nature’, never question the collective acceptances and allowances ingrained and manifested through the accumulation of knowledge and information throughout time.

And yet we can see that no amount of knowledge and information is opening a door to actual self-realization and the enlightenment of the human race into self-willed equals of life that stand as custodians of our home planet and life on earth.
On the contrary, we have managed to divide and conquer this world to such an extent, that life has become about survival competition for resources, through the exploitation of life, the planet and each-other within a system of profit, self-interest, greed, separation.

The system and the human exist trapped within an interconnected creation-loop, fuelled by the friction of polarities, both within and without:
wherein the system creates the human through 'education' and 'belief' and the human re-creates the system through the ‘human nature’ of fear and inferiority, existing in denial while pursuing self-interest and 'personal enlightenment' through the mind (MINEd), refusing to acknowledge its deliberate blindness and unawareness of the billions of individual cells in the One physical body of Cellf that are working together, breathing together, sustaining the life that the mind-consciousness is feeding-on in its quest for the fulfilment of its own self-created delusions, supported by the world system of capitalism, consumerism and profit.


I forgive myself that I've accepted and allowed myself to give up on myself as life and submit myself to a system of life-abuse through competition, comparison, fear, survival and other abominations of our interpretation of reality through the mind consciousness in separation from life.

I forgive myself that I've accepted and allowed myself to follow the process of relationship-creation of this world as we know it, within that accepting the illusion of being a truth-seeker, not realizing that there exists no separate truth 'out there somewhere'; the truth is right here and has always been here, within and as who we are, reflected and revealed to us in this world that is our mirror, yet we refuse to see and acknowledge and realize responsibility for who we are and what this creation has been and become.

I forgive myself that I've accepted and allowed myself to seek myself and search for 'fulfilment' and 'completeness' within and through relationships of sex, religion, spirituality, science, knowledge and information – not realizing the self-separation this implies.

I forgive myself that I haven’t allowed myself to establish a self-honest relationship with me as the starting-point of my existence and experience; and to realize that I as a physical-being was born into this world without knowledge and information, without filters of interpretation and perception, without value-judgments of polarity, without fear.

I forgive myself that I haven't allowed myself to see, realize and understand that it was only through my submission to the 'education' of this world that I formed opinions, judgments, fears and desires about myself and my world, as I started forming a picture of myself with a value-judgment based on the references presented to me as pictures connected to words and energetic experiences, which I then utilized to develop "my logic" and to program my beliefs, emotional-experience patterns and response-reactions that formed the "me" that I have become as self-consciousness of this world-system.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to become a system of this world, playing the game of polarity and participating in power-games both within my mind and in my interactions, in my quest to 'complete' and 'fulfil' the 'value' of my self-image as a picture in the eyes of the world perceived through the filters and veils of consciousness based on polarity value-judgments, comparison and competition for survival –
all the while disregarding myself as a physical being, refusing to approach reality from the starting-point of getting to know myself as a physical body that is revealing the signs and outflows of its submission to the mental dictatorship.

I forgive myself that I haven't allowed myself to see, realize and understand that I am a physical body in this physical existence, born into this world without mind-consciousness, formed from substance of the physical through the fusion of two physical bodies, returning to the dust of the earth with no mind-consciousness remaining.

Within this I forgive myself that I haven't allowed myself to get to know intimately and communicate with: the very substance from which I originate, to get to know intimately and communicate with: myself AS the very substance from which I was formed and as which I was physically expressing when I was a baby, moving and sounding and expressing self but to no avail, as my environment had already long forgotten the sound of life and had only perceptual means through which to approach me;
and thus I submitted, as we all do, to the programs and matrices presented to me in my environment, slowly but surely giving up on myself as life, compromising my expression and my beingness in order to become equal to and one with the world consciousness so that I can survive in what we call 'life'.

I forgive myself that I've accepted and allowed myself to seek for and expect intimacy and understanding in my relationships, when I haven't yet developed and established such intimacy and understanding within myself with my very beingness in self-honesty.

I forgive myself that I haven't allowed myself to be and become the 'parent' I would like to have had; the 'support' I’d wish from my environment; the 'intimacy' I’d expect from the partner –

because only when I investigate and explore and establish actual intimacy, understanding, support as Living Words, for me: will I be able to live it with another equally, communicate as it with another equally, give and receive it as an actual self-expression, as an expansion of self-realization, both within the depths of my beingness and equally in my world with other human beings;

and only within this/such starting-point will we be able to create actual relationships of intimacy, depth, seeing, understanding, caring and supporting, beyond the veils of personalities and defence-mechanisms of consciousness, beyond the separation of the minds, but in equality and oneness of and as the physical reality - the actuality of ourselves.


I forgive myself that I haven't allowed myself to see, realize and understand that the mind consciousness never presents the actuality of reality; it only presents the perceptual reality as conditioned into an energetic entity as self-consciousness, programmed in separation from the value of life and into survival, self-interest, self-delusion.

And that within and as such programmed self-consciousness, we are in fact compromising ourselves as life, we are compromising our right to life and self-creation, as we end-up FOLLOWING the acceptances and allowances we have subjected ourselves to and given permissions for throughout our lives in unawareness.

Therefore, it is to investigate all our acceptances and allowances in self-honesty, from the conscious to the subconscious to the unconscious - so that we may bring all points that determine our existence to our awareness and amalgamate all as one and equal, taking responsibility for the entirety of ourselves and our creation and becoming the directive principle of ourselves as life;

no longer FOLLOWING the auto-pilot of consciousness that only ever loops in cycles of fear/inferiority and superiority/dominion, while we abdicate our actual power as life to systems in the name of 'power' as defined through consciousness, manifesting the exploitation and abuse we are witnessing in our world and, if we dare look, equally within ourselves: our secret mind as backchat, internal conversations, inner conflicts, self-sabotage, self-compromise, blame and spite toward others, and essentially the failure to stand-up within ourselves and live self-responsibility for our creation which is ourselves.


I forgive myself that I've accepted and allowed a world where we interpret the physical as 'sin', when in fact the 'sin' is the mental alienation towards and separation from the physical that we are accepting and allowing through and as consciousness; wherein we try to become 'more than' the physical through the mind –
instead of standing equal to and one with the physical and understanding creation, ourselves and each-other at an actual physical reality level in common sense, beyond the filters, veils and limitations of the mental/consciousness.

I forgive myself that I've accepted and allowed a world where religion/ spirituality/ belief-systems is used to distract us from ourselves/creation/reality, so that we may only exist as consciousness keeping the system running and never question the ways of the world, never investigate our own 'evil ways' that we hide in the secret mind where we believe no one can see and no one can know.




I commit myself to challenging myself and my world with the realization that at the end of time, all will be known; and that in fact everything is always not, yet we refuse to state the obvious.
Therefore the question each must ask self in every moment is: Will I be able to stand in the face of everything as who I am in this moment without shame, without regret, without hiding? Am I in this very moment the best I can be in self-honesty? Or am I compromising myself and all life equally?

I commit myself to sharing the common sense that any and all self-compromise we accept within ourselves: we allow within others equally - and within that we are compromising life, compromising the whole, enslaving everything and everyone to OUR lowest point of existence.

I commit myself to investigating and forgiving the lowest points of my existence, embracing it all as my creation, as me, and standing-up from the lowest of low to redeem myself as life and stand in self-equality and oneness to care for and support myself as life - so that I may be a living example of self-dignity as the dignity we want to establish as Life on Earth, that Life may become Heaven on Earth for ALL that is HERE.

I commit myself to applying and sharing the urgent necessity of establishing a self-honest relationship with self; because it is only from this starting-point that we'll be able to equally establish honest, intimate, actual relationships with other human beings, nature, the animal-kingdom, this physical existence.

I commit myself to establishing a self-honest relationship with myself, as I walk through the nitty-gritty of who and how I have become, through a process of writing, self-forgiveness, self-corrective living - so that I may walk myself out of the conditioned consciousness that manifests this world as we know it, and into life as equality and oneness through living words in self-actualization as life, in the context of this one reality we all share.

Therefore, I commit myself to realizing and showing that the common sense we have been missing is to be seen in the physical reality, within our relationship with Self and equally with the World –
and that both the world and our physical body is already showing us the manifested consequences of our existence:

all we need to do is become self-honest and start communicating the actuality of reality, through writing, self-forgiveness, self-corrective living - so that we may re-educate ourselves and create a new foundation for life based on the VALUE OF LIFE.

I commit myself to sharing the common sense that the value of life is life, and that we have separated ourselves from the value of life and conceived alternate and false 'values' that have formed the foundation of the world as we know it, the framework of our enslavement within and without.

I commit myself to sharing the common sense that though each-one must 'change' within and as self in getting oneself ‘back to earth’ and dealing with what has been denied and suppressed to self-realize our beingness, it is not enough if only self change –
but that it will take all parts of the whole awakening to the realization that Life is Here but we haven't been here, we have been separated into alternate realities in a consciousness matrix that has brought forth only conflict, separation, fear and devastation; it will take all parts of the whole awakening to the realization that what we've been looking for is ourselves, what we've been waiting for is ourselves, and that we cannot afford waiting any longer.

I commit myself to sharing the common sense that we must stand together and work together as One group = Life - in assisting ourselves and each-other to self-realize life as the physical, as self-creation, in self-responsibility; no longer serving false idols of consciousness in separation from life.

and that it will take agreements in self-honesty as life to transform the abusive nature of relationships as we've evolved them in our consciousness and our world, it will take courage and self-will to step out of the woes of relationships and stop our addictions, dependencies and delusions –
to practically realize and live the interconnectedness of life as self-willed equals, establishing ways of practical living that will redeem life on earth and bring forth a new way of life, a new system of actual life-support that will care for and honor all life equally based on the value of life.



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Bella
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Re: Bella's Journey to Life

Postby Bella » 27 May 2012, 18:52

Bella's Journey to Life Day 43: The End of Searching - Return to Innocence


Within investigating energetic addiction as that one point each one is 'carrying', 'following', 'looking and yearning for', I am realizing that it's about parts of ourselves we've separated ourselves from and then set out to 'find'.

We don't know 'how to' get there, but we are in everything that we do striving towards 'something', and within that we hold a certain 'attitude' towards life, manifested in how we live, how and why we do things, how we participate in our relationships in our world.

So that One point within each one, projected as energetic feelings of positivity, a future salvation, a revelation, ascension, highest experience, enlightenment, getting home - whatever you may call it – comes undefined and foggy from the depths of our being and is driving each one toward 'out there' to 'seek and find', keeping one hoping and thus waiting, and the more one seek the further away that 'something' seems, or sometimes for fleeting moments it seems so close, yet never Here; because within this whole process of ‘seeking’ and ‘searching’ we get further and further away from the core of our beingness, from ourselves.

The nature of relationships one has throughout one's life, the patterns that play-out within that: can reveal much about that One point. Because it will be the One point that is not allowing one to have relationships of Hereness, giving it your all, living your all, embracing whatever comes up within self with an invitation to tell its story, to unfold, so that self can expand, see, self-realize, forgive and let go, and thus set self free from the conditioned past and get to the self-clarity and self-honesty it requires to start re-creating oneself and one's life, re-defining oneself in self-awareness, making new agreements for one's life as co-existence in this physical reality, making new agreements for one's relationships, this time in full awareness and self-honesty.

Who and how self is toward relationships reveals who and how one is toward oneself within the mind. What one wishes for and expects from a relationship, is what one is 'missing' within and from oneself;
Because we do not learn to fulfil ourselves, to give life to ourselves, to communicate with ourselves in actuality, we do not really get the opportunity to express and unfold ourselves as individual beings and develop self-trust and self-worth as life.

So we do not develop that actuality-based intimate relationship with ourselves that would enable us to have an insight of who we are and how we create ourselves; If we would, we would see what goes on inside our minds, what drives us, how we move within life; what are we allowing to hold us back, what is the nature of our addictions and why, how are we limiting and sabotaging ourselves - we would see, understand and realize how we abdicate our life-authority, first to the systems of the world and then, with growing-up, to the mind consciousness to 'do the job for us'.

And because we are not really the ones 'doing', not the ones moving ourselves, not the ones making our own decisions (the mind consciousness does it for us through our programmed beliefs, our conditioned emotional- and feeling-reactions, our internal conversations and backchat, the images we hold and attach values to, words and definitions that we've given power over us...) -
...because we are not really the ones ‘driving our vehicle’, we are sitting on the back seat and have an autopilot doing most of the job while we follow, and at the same time kind of looking for a better driver 'out there somewhere' or for a 'higher vehicle' or whatever the picture fits.

But we are not realizing that to get what we REALLY are looking for - we have to give it to ourselves, we have to become the driver in absolute certainty, in absolute responsibility, in absolute clarity and, yes, humbleness... equality and oneness, Here, fully, complete: I am Here.


It's only from that actual I am Here as an absolute certainty, a Living Word - only from this starting-point of self-equality and oneness that we are able to actually move ourselves, to direct ourselves, to make decisions, to determine who we are and how we walk this life and why.

The self-realization of I am Here is the ultimate End of searching, is the ultimate 'enlightenment' possible in this physical reality - and the only relevant one to state the obvious.

It's fascinating how people expect, hope and believe that they can be something more in some other reality, the ‘afterlife’, the 'higher realms' or whatever it is one believe in;

But how can we be anything more or higher in any other/higher reality, when we haven’t even gotten to know, understand and realize this one physical reality in all its multidimensions and interconnections, in all cause and effect of its patterns, realizing self within the context of the whole!


So - is this 'endless search' within the mind an addiction?
Is it an energetic projection of ourselves 'out there somewhere'?
Is it a justification to not stand-up and do what it takes to redeem Life Here?
Is it an excuse to keep dreaming, hoping, waiting?
Is it a mechanism of the mind-consciousness system to keep us preoccupied and 'lost' so that consciousness may preserve its authority over and occupation of the physical body as the being (the being that is born into this world as a physical body only, with no conditioned consciousness or preconceived ideas)?
Is it the protection-mechanism of the self-consciousness we have become in our quest to 'understand the world', so that it doesn't have to let go of its knowledge, its definitions, its self-image, its possessions and thus its perceived 'security' and 'safety' of "this is where my place is in this game and everything is okay"?

These are questions we each require to self-honesty answer for ourselves, if we want to get ourselves onto the actual driver seat and be the directive principle of ourselves.

To understand ourselves as the mind we have to look at the existential patterns of ourself that is sitting in the back seat;
to then transform and re-form the mind within and as self-honesty and self-dignity as life.

To understand ourselves as the physical we have to look at the vehicle, the how we move, what moves us, what influence us, how does that mind-control work from the inside out;
to then transform and reform the vehicle as physical living in absolute awareness and self-responsibility as life.

So it's fascinating that the three separate points (the vehicle, the autopilot, the self in the back seat) are actually able to become a one and equal point of/as directive principle.

We can in fact look at how one in fact is all three points: the being, the body, the mind - yet in separation;
where the being is trapped in the mind through the consciousness of this world that the being tunes-into and becomes part of, having separated itself from itself as physical being, and with time the mind as autopilot gets to drive both the being and the physical into more and more separation, suppression, deterioration.


We are the mind-consciousness. It's who and what we become. Yet we are it in unawareness, we are it divided and systematically automated: into conscious, subconscious and unconscious parts of ourselves.
And within that, we become the opposite of life/LIVE which is EVIL: we become beings of self-dishonesty, self-sabotage, self-interest, sneakiness, nastiness, cowardice, arrogance. We are all and everything that we hate, all that we judge and fear, all we despise, all that we spite;

All and everything is Here, within and as ourselves, in little corners of our minds, saved as memories of words, pictures, interpretations and definitions, relationship experiences and our reactions to them, our value-judgements, our conclusions and vows – all of this past determines all of our movements through the conscious, subconscious and unconscious, and maybe that is so because we don’t see, because we do not look.

And whenever things push to come out, there's this self that has become such a coward that all it does is put up a nice face and go "oh no, I am good person, I am okay" - and so self literally only exists as Ego, trying to control all its multiple personalities ranging from 'negative' to 'positive', suppressing and denying the ‘negative’ and superimposing and projecting the ‘positive’ – and within that illusion of control self as Ego becomes ‘comfortably’ numb, especially once one has developed the fuzzy ‘logic’ that apparently explains and justifies one’s existence, acceptances and allowances.


So self is looking for self, but not considering: How can we have the ‘positive’ for real when we deny and suppress the ‘negative’? How can we get something ‘out there’ when we don’t even look right Here?
Why do we seem to not have the courage to bring it all Here, become aware, see, acknowledge and embrace everything as self and then finally 'do something about it'?

Will it take courage to amalgamate, forgive and transform everything of self in self-awareness?
Yes.

Is it the only way to actual self-realization as life, as creator, as responsible and self-willed individual in the context of this reality?
Yes.

Is the conditioned energetic experience of each one as self-consciousness going to protest and resist and defend itself and bring up reasons, excuses, justifications why there's other ways to 'get there'?
Yes.

It's fascinating because it's always gonna be the justification of "my way" that one will 'fall' at, which is the path of defending one's limitations and submitting to the fear of losing what one 'know' or 'who one is', the fear of 'losing control' - when in fact one does not have control, it is the mind-consciousness that has the control and is quite sneaky at that too, because we have completely abdicated our responsibility, our authority, our directive principle to the mind do drive us, to do it for us;

not considered within this however is the nature of the mind as fear in accepted inferiority, existing thus to ‘superiorize’ itself, by 'protecting' the suppression of the physical being; 'protecting' its own self-definition; 'protecting' itself from its own fears; 'protecting' the beliefs, fears, desires the suppressed being as an evolving mind develops; 'protecting' its addictions as the perception of ‘security’, ‘power’ and ‘control’; 'protecting' itself from life which is unexpected, open, all-inclusive; 'protecting' its search for “something out there” - not allowing the being to realize that it is itself that it's looking for, and that THAT self is right HERE.

Within this, it is self-evident that the only place one has any power left as a being, is in the breath, in every moment. That is the window to the physical and out of the mind.
I breathe, therefore I am Here.
I am Here, therefore I breathe.
That is the simplest, yet a vital point of self-realization, self-will, self-movement - because even our breathing has become automated, and not only that, but emotional and mental reaction patterns have the power to alter and affect our breathing, which is also a form of mind-control, and they do so through our own acceptance and allowance: because we are not here, we are not the ones breathing.

Can that be changed?
Yes.
Is it simple?
Yes.
Is it is easy?
No.
Is that a valid excuse not to?
No.
Who decides whether it will be easy or not?!




The End of Searching is like the return to innocence.
I am Here. That's it. It is enough. I have me. I am here breathing. I am in this world. How does the world look like? How do things work? What kind of world would I like to live in? How do I make that possible?

The Return to Innocence in fact IS: The end of searching.

So how do one return to innocence?
One walk backwards, throughout all the moments of one's life that impulsed, formed and conditioned who one is today, how one is today, what defines one today, what makes up one's experience of oneself today.

Walking through the matrix of the self-creation that took place in unawareness through the conscious, subconscious and unconscious mind due to suppression, denial and separation: one will have to embrace oneself; one will have to allow oneself to see things for what they are; one will have to be humble; one will have to develop and establish self-honesty; one will have to remove the layers that cover-up and veil the core of one's being; one will have to forgive oneself; one will have to in self-will change the patterns of one's practical-living from self-suppression, self-sabotage, submission, separation and self-interest into self-honesty, self-support, self-equality, self-worth and practical common sense.


I forgive myself that I've accepted and allowed myself to 'protect' and 'justify' my existence of self-separation to not have to face myself and take self-responsibility for the entirety of me.

I forgive myself that I've accepted and allowed myself to delude myself into oblivion by creating relationships of separation and 'searching for' myself 'out there'; 'searching for' that something 'more', 'better', 'higher' that will give me the ultimate-experience of 'completeness' / 'fulfilment'.

Within this I forgive myself that I haven't allowed myself to realize that I am Here, and thus everything is Here as me, my creation - and thus what I've in fact been looking for and waiting for: is myself.

I forgive myself that I've accepted and allowed myself to go into submission and inferiority to such an extent that I've ended-up fearing my own fear, fearing myself, and thus remaining hiding and defending my limitations so that I don't have to face myself in full awareness.

I forgive myself that I've accepted and allowed myself as self-consciousness in separation from life to in the image and likeness of this world-consciousness make-up justifications, excuses, reasons why I "cannot stand-up", "why bother", "it's not worth it", "what if...", "it's a risk", "I'm okay", "everything is under control", or "but I still have to...", "I need the experience of...", "I don't feel like it...", "I'm not ready" - etc.

I forgive myself that I haven't allowed myself to see, realize and understand that it is in MY hands, that I decide: whether through directive principle in self-honestly in full awareness OR through my acceptance and allowance of the unconscious patterns of my conditioned existence which I simply follow as they automatically play-out.

What will it be?
Who decides?
What are we waiting for?

I forgive myself that I haven't allowed myself to make the decision of who I am as an absolute stand, even though I understand that it will take the accumulation of many breaths, breath by breath living the solution as me, within who and how I live, to manifest and establish me as life, as directive-principle, as a self-willed being walking in self-dignity as life;

I forgive myself that I haven't allowed myself to realize that this process can only be walked breath breath - as we cannot do 'more' than what can be done in a moment of breath; and cannot be 'more' than who/what/how we are a moment of breath.



I commit myself to the decision of walking a journey to life as I peel the layers of consciousness that veil my beingness.

I commit myself to walking this process breath by breath, training myself to be the directive-principle of me in every moment of breath.

I commit myself to walking in humbleness as I walk my process of bringing all parts of me Here through writing, self-forgiveness, self-corrective application – so that I may transform all of me into a self-created practical living being that can be an example of self-dignity and integrity as life.

I commit myself to investigating and stopping any and all addictions / energetic projections through which I keep myself preoccupied, distracted and 'not here' - so that I may walk the realization of I am Here and become the authority of me as life, while I piece myself back together - so that I may in fact be Here and free to explore and expand my beingness for the first time.

I commit myself to walking this process of returning to innocence, stopping the accumulation of knowledge and information which is the result of my ‘endless search’ for "something", ‘out there somewhere’ –
so that I may work with, face and direct the knowledge and information I have already accumulated and in-formed myself through, until I re-create myself into a being no longer existing in fear, driven through mind-control from the inside out, no longer participating in power-games due to accepted 'inferiority' and trying go ‘get somewhere’ in an attempt for 'superiority', no longer always looping, trapped in polarity and separation –
so that I stand in self-equality and oneness, live self-expression in self-trust and self-acceptance, and bring forth an equal and one world system that will thus support all life into freedom, dignity and expression – as actual evolution.

I commit myself to showing and demonstrating that all the knowledge and information mankind has accumulated in its search throughout time: has Not brought forth actual solutions for human nature, neither individually nor collectively.

I commit myself to showing and demonstrating that we have not actually evolved or progressed, because we have attempted to do so in separation from ourselves.

I commit myself to showing and demonstrating that we have only evolved our tools and technology which is the externalization of the mind, and our money-system which is the externalization of energy as polarity-consciousness –
but we have not evolved our beingness, we have not evolved our ‘who we are’ and ‘how we exist’, we have not evolved the patterns of our existence/world into a better system that benefits life; because we have compromised our Awareness as Life to Consciousness as System, and have abdicated our authority to systems while we only occupied the back seat/the secret mind of ego, leaving our body and our earth, our very beingness, to the mercy of an autopilot that wasn’t even programmed by ourselves.

I commit myself to investigating, acknowledging and forgiving = taking responsibility for all automated patterns I have accepted and allowed myself to exist within and as – so that I may set myself free from the mind-control of the conditioned past and re-create myself in self-awareness as life, in equality and oneness.

I commit myself to establishing a self-honest relationship with myself – so that I may transcend the accepted self-separation and allow for the being, the body and the mind to amalgamate as one in self-equality, so that I may see, embrace and direct the entirety of me; so that I may be/become the directive principle of me here, as a self-willed being in this physical existence.

I commit myself to sharing the common sense that each one individually will have to walk this process of ‘changing self’ through self-honesty, self-will, self-forgiveness – before we can start establishing relationships of actual life-support, dignity and respect, which will be an example and the foundation for the establishment of new systems for our world: systems based on the value of life that will thus support all life equally.

I commit myself to sharing the common sense that everything is already Here:
We are already Here as humanity, and all we have to do is put our ego aside and work together as One group: LIFE.
Which is exactly the same process we are walking individually within self:
Realizing I am Here, thus it is to work with all of self in self-equality until I stand Here as ONE actual being: in full awareness, in self-realization as life, as creation, as creator.

Then the actual Journey to Life may begin... But first, let’s return to Innocence.



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Bella
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Re: Bella's Journey to Life

Postby Bella » 28 May 2012, 22:14

Bella's Journey to Life Day 44: Mind-Control works from the Inside Out


I forgive myself that I haven't allowed myself to see, realize and understand that mind-control works from the inside out, and that thus it can only be stopped from the inside out.

I forgive myself that I haven't allowed myself to see, realize and understand that my emotions and feelings, thoughts and internal conversations are showing me to the very detail how mind-control works - if I dare look and see things for what they are.

I forgive myself that I haven’t allowed myself to see, realize and understand that my reactions are triggered, as are my feelings and emotions, the ‘positive’ and the ‘negative’ energetic experiences – and therefore my reactions are showing me, if I dare see, how I have conditioned myself to be mind-control from the inside out.

I forgive myself that I haven't allowed myself to see, realize and understand that my mind consciousness systems works in polarity designs, yet I have always only wanted to see and regard only the 'positive' - but if I have a self-honest look I will see that the 'positive' does not exist without the ‘negative’.

I forgive myself that I've accepted and allowed myself to be trapped with my conditioned mind consciousness to such an extent that I only see and perceive that which I think and experience, not realizing that this is only a perceptual reality formed by the accepted mental and emotional patterns I programmed myself to exist within and as.

I forgive myself that I haven’t allowed myself to see, realize and understand that our existence has the nature of addiction, and that we are addicted to energetic experiences/feelings to such an extent, that the physical body will, when triggered, produce the chemicals that will induce the experience, just so that we can remain deluded and see only what we wanna see.

I forgive myself that I haven’t allowed myself to see, realize and understand that consumerism, just like all the systems of our world, utilize exactly that ‘human nature’ of addiction to have us buy into the next sensation, the next promise, the next product that will sell us the feeling/energetic experience we are addicted to, so that we remain preoccupied, remain comfortably numb, remain trapped within our definitions of ‘power’, ‘success’, ‘status’ and never question the ways of the world and the accepted ‘human nature’.

I forgive myself that I haven't allowed myself to see, realize and understand that I have programmed myself in unawareness from when I was a child, through accepting and allowing the world as it was presented to me and 'human nature' as it was presented to me, and by trying to be part of and communicate with this 'human nature' I became it, mimicking my parents and my environment, adopting definitions and value-judgments and drawing conclusions about how I can manipulate my world to have it be “my way” -

and so we move throughout our lives and these patterns become more and more ingrained, they become who we are and how we behave, how we participate in our world in different situations -
but fascinatingly enough we do not know how we have created ourselves to be who and how we are today.

I forgive myself that I haven't allowed myself to see, realize and understand that the whole spectrum of who and how we are is in fact mind-controlled, yet ingrained to such an extent that it becomes physical behavior and experience, manifested within and as the human physical body, its hormonal ups and downs, its postures and gestures, its dis-ease and deterioration as we age.

I forgive myself that I haven't allowed myself to acknowledge that to see, realize and understand how I have created myself in unawareness, I have to walk back and investigate the patterns within which I’ve been cycling throughout my life, conscious, subconscious and unconscious - because it is in the interconnections of those patterns that I will see the acceptances and allowances that gave permission for the pattern to have power over me and control/direct me and the experience of me.

I forgive myself that I haven't allowed myself to see, realize and understand that such acceptances and allowances will include beliefs, definitions, fears, desires, suppressions, justifications, excuses, denial - everything that I have accepted about myself and the world in how I view myself and the world; everything that I have allowed myself to follow, believe and regard without questioning the implications.

I forgive myself that I haven't allowed myself to see the simplicity of asking the question of implications: "If I accept this definition, if I accept this belief, if I accept this experience as valid - what am I implying? What does that make me? Who am I within that? And who will I be?

I forgive myself that I haven't allowed myself to see, realize and understand the power of implication - and how we have through time given permission for life to be compromised, either directly and deliberately or through implication.

Within this I forgive myself that I haven't allowed myself to see, realize and understand that giving permission for something through implication makes me equally responsible.



I commit myself to continue investigating how mind-control works from the inside out and walk the self-forgiveness process of any and all points I see and realize - so that I may set myself free from the conditioned mechanisms that drive me from the inside and take directive-principle as a self-willed individual that stands-up for life and actual freedom;

because it is obvious that the conditioned mechanisms we have allowed our existence to function through: are not supporting life, self-trust, self-worth, self-acceptance; they are not supporting freedom, expression, equality, dignity of life.

I commit myself to sharing the common sense understanding about how mind-control works - so that we may stop the mind-control we have subjected ourselves to and start manifesting a society where we learn to assist and support ourselves into taking responsibility, correcting ourselves, healing ourselves, empowering ourselves, self-realizing life as the highest value; and thus establishing a society on Earth that is truly humane and may validly be called ManKind - a society that will live in freedom from control through self-empowerment as life and the actual transcendence of mind-control.

I commit myself to sharing the common-sense understanding of how the current system works: namely through mind-control; from the money-system to the education-system, religion and spirituality, science and technology, everything is based on the starting-point of profit and self-interest, called 'growth' or 'progress', while we leave half the world to suffer starvation, poverty, famine, war;

I commit myself to sharing the common-sense that the system preys on our desires and fears and in fact always forms the next set of desires for us, so that we keep on buying into what the system is selling and remain preoccupied and blinded by self-interest, coming up with all kinds of justifications and excuses as to 'why' we can't change the world...

I commit myself to demonstrating that we CAN change the world, because we are creating the world - we simply require to understand How we are creating, so that we may Stop what we are creating because obviously the current creation is only serving the system, and not life.

I commit myself to bringing forth a new world system that will support all life equally, will eliminate inequality and hierarchies, will give equal access, equal knowledge, equal power to all, and will establish the foundation required so that each being born into this world may live without fear and expand to its utmost potential - then we are truly looking at evolution: in self-awareness as life.



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Bella
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Re: Bella's Journey to Life

Postby Bella » 29 May 2012, 18:10

Bella's Journey to Life Day 45: Compromise is always All-Inclusive


I forgive myself that I haven't allowed myself to realize that compromise is all-inclusive; and that whenever I compromise myself as life, I compromise all life equally.

I forgive myself that I haven't allowed myself to see, realize and understand that whenever I am following automatic reactions, I am in fact compromising myself as life, as I give authority to the conditioned consciousness system to drive me and make my decisions - instead of me being the directive principle in my life as the one determining who I am and how I live, making decisions that are always best for all.

I forgive myself that I haven't allowed myself to see, realize and understand that whenever I submit to and accept the limitations of the conditioned mind consciousness as what automatically comes-up within me: I am compromising myself as life and not allowing myself to expand beyond the bounds of the accepted limitations and live the courage to direct myself in self-honesty.

I forgive myself that I haven't allowed myself to see, realize and understand that whenever I compromise life within and as myself, I am giving permission for the same compromise in everything and everyone else.

I forgive myself that I haven't allowed myself to see, realize and understand how we are in every breath, with every step and every decision in fact determining and manifesting this world, the future, humanity - and that this is either done in unawareness through our acceptances and allowances OR in self-honesty and self-awareness as life through directive principled living.

I forgive myself that I haven't allowed myself to see, realize and understand that we are creating this world in our image and likeness - and that instead of blaming and pointing fingers and whining about how the world is and has become: we should start practically changing our image and likeness, who we are and how we participate in our world - so that we may manifest the change we want to see in the world, starting with ourselves.

I forgive myself that I haven't allowed myself to see, realize and understand what compromise means and entails: namely that we compromise life as who we really are in the name of love, profit, god and all kinds of mental constructs and concepts that serve only the preservation of our fears and desires as self-interest.

I forgive myself that I haven't allowed myself to see, realize and understand that fears and desires constitute the basic bipolar design that drives us:
fear and desire being the driving-forces we are 'educated' and controlled with from the very beginning - resulting into human beings existing only in definitions of 'superiority'-'inferiority', in constant competition and comparison, in survival-mode, in fear of each-other, in fear of life/living, each one caged in separate bubbles of the mental, dressed up in different personality-suits presenting fake faces and following fake 'values' –
in spite of the evidence within and without that this polarity system is not supporting life, is not supporting anyone; in spite of the evidence that our bipolar experience as human beings is conditioned which means that it can be changed.

I forgive myself that I haven't allowed myself to see, realize and understand that in this world consciousness system, both polarities ('superiority'-'inferiority', desire-fear, love-hate etc) are designed to serve self-interest only; and that self-interest is always compromising life, as it only regards the conditioned wants, needs and desires of a programmed consciousness, and not the interest of life as common sense which would be what is best for all that is here, including the planet.

I forgive myself that I haven’t allowed myself to see, realize and understand that polarity designs as we live them are in fact a trap, as we can see not only in history repeating in the bigger picture, but also in the individual patterns we are subjected to within ourselves: it’s always cycles of the same ups and downs, we are always cycling, spiralling deeper and deeper into dependency, delusion, separation from who we really are.

I forgive myself that I haven't allowed myself to see, realize and understand that although we identify ourselves with self-interest as what comes-up within our mind as wants, needs and desires: those wants, needs and desires are not in fact in our best interest, they only serve the system and the preservation of the system by making sure we remain limited and hooked in addiction within and dependency without, perpetuating the system so that we can 'survive' - instead of changing the system so that we can LIVE.

I forgive myself that I haven't allowed myself to see, realize and understand how we accept fear to be our driving force - yet we refuse to acknowledge that we do so, because we have trained ourselves in denial, to only see the 'positive' in an attempt to 'feel good' about ourselves; and because fear is 'negative' we will cover it up with pretty pictures and positive thinking and all kinds of excuses and justifications to not have to face it - to not have to face ourselves.

I forgive myself that I haven't allowed myself to see, realize and understand that self-compromise is in fact self-sabotage, wherein we not only follow the conditioned patterns of the mind as they come up, but also 'evolve' our 'fuzzy logic' of excuses, justifications and reasons as to 'why' we're accepting and allowing what we're accepting and allowing, 'why' we are not daring to live self-honesty, 'why' it's seemingly okay to continue with our existence as we know it - refusing to see that we are sabotaging our own power as life by abdicating it to the mind consciousness systems of polarity that are essentially based in fear and self-interest.



I commit myself to investigating all points wherein I compromise myself as life - so that I may stop all acceptances and allowances that sabotage my power as life and compromise life as that which is best for all.

I commit myself to investigating any and all fears and desires conditioned within my mind that I have allowed to drive and determine who I am - so that I may be/become the directive force of me, no longer subject to mind-control.

I commit myself to demonstrating how we've been existing from the starting-point of fears and desires, rooted in self-interest, and how we are living our lives in self-defence and all kinds of 'protection-mechanisms' while we limit and compromise ourselves as life and all life equally.

I commit myself to demonstrating that just like we compromise life when we exist in self-compromise: we can bring forth solutions that will be best for all life when we live what is best for all.

I commit myself to sharing the common sense that compromise exist where we follow our fears and desires; that compromise exists where there is inequality; and that therefore to stop all compromise and stop compromising life, we require to self-realize, live and apply the principle of life: equality and oneness.

I commit myself to sharing the realization that whenever I accept me as less than who I really am as life - I am accepting less than what life really is/can be for all.

I commit myself to sharing the realization that equality and oneness is the directive principle of existence, meaning that what we create is always equal to and one with who we are as the starting-point of our creation, as creators; and who we are is always equal to and one with what we accept and allow within ourselves and our world.

Therefore I commit myself to investigating and purifying all my acceptances and allowances - so that I as who I am may stand equal to and one with LIFE.

And I commit myself to sharing the common sense understanding that we have been creating our reality through our acceptances and allowances, thus in denial, thus in self-dishonesty; and that we require to get to self-honesty and stop the denial - so that we may start seeing the cause and effect of our existence and take responsibility for who we are and how we participate in our world, in the realization that who we are and how we participate, what we accept and allow: manifests this world, this existence.

I commit myself to bringing forth a world, an existence, where we no longer exist in denial, suppression, self-interest - but stand in full awareness and expression in the interest of life as who we really are.

I commit myself to bringing forth a new economic system that will assist mankind in exactly this process of stopping the accepted enslavement both within and without, stopping the compromise of ourselves as life, and embarking on a journey to actual evolution, in self-awareness as self-willed equals of LIFE.




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