Rozelle's Journey to Life

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Rozelle de Lange
Posts: 650
Joined: 14 Jun 2011, 14:04

Rozelle's Journey to Life

Post by Rozelle de Lange »

Day 1 - Self-Discipline
http://rozelledelangeblog.blogspot.com/ ... pline.html

So we have been presented with a very cool opportunity to assist and support ourselves within our process of realizing ourselves as life. It is a process which entails walking a 7 year commitment to writing wherein we take points existent within us/the world and we apply self-forgiveness in order to release ourselves from the bondage and limitation we have accepted and allowed ourselves to be subjected to.

It's a process of taking self-responsibility for that which I exist within and as, which means a process of 'taking back my power' in essence. I mean, we are born into this world, and we are taught different behaviors, programs, thought patterns, feelings and emotions without even asking the basic question of 'is this what is best for all'. We just sponge everything up and we unconditionally become it without ever investigating for ourselves what the starting point of each point is and whether or not we will accept and allow that to exist within us, through considering the outflows as manifestations of what we are actually accepting and allowing with no questions asked.

So this is a process of going back into the past to investigate each point with new eyes - self-aware and self-directed eyes. So I bring the points here into the present to investigate them from every angle to see where I have abdicated my self-responsibility and to identify what I have separated myself from. How else are we going to change the world into a place which is best for all if not by changing ourselves?

Consider this perspective:
I am a universe (my whole body is a universe in its own). However, currently I am not in control of my universe. So, where am I? - out having a party while the slaves (my thoughts/back chat/beliefs/ideas/perceptions/emotions/feelings/reactions) shit in my house and piss on my curtains!
So clearly it is time to go home and start cleaning my house, so that I can be proud to let someone come inside to a place where there is no secrets, no points I want to hide, no place where I would like to control someone or an outcome, no abuse, no deception, nothing that cannot stand as the true expression of life. So clearly it is imperative to each day check myself to see, where am I?, what am I doing?, what bullshit was I creating/accepting/allowing/manifesting in my mind?, why did I not stop it?, how will I stop it if faced with it again?, what are the points of origin within in? So a self-directed self-investigation to investigate myself as that which I have become as a complete personality design, so that I gift myself the opportunity to come to a self-directed solution so as to ensure I do not allow the slaves to have a party again while I am busy cleaning up.

Here, I make a self-directed agreement with myself to walk this process of taking responsibility for myself and that which I have become through my acceptances and allowances through walking the point of applying self-forgiveness for a process of 7 years.

So to start off with for my day 1, I am going to be working with the word 'discipline', as this word came up as I was projecting walking this 7 year process within the thought 'what if I don't have the discipline to do it?'

As I investigated within myself why it is that I have such a resistance to mastering the point of discipline, memories popped up of my one of my parents beating me. My parent always referred to beating me as 'I am disciplining you', and the beatings I received for the most part weren't like your 'average spank on the bum type' of beatings, instead they were much more intense and painful. So it's clear that within connecting these memories of the times I received beatings, I have within this connection attached an extreme negatively charged resistance point to the point of discipline, and thus have created my current experience of resistance to the word within the present.
No more! I no longer accept and allow myself to be enslaved to this resistance I have attached to the word 'discipline'.


I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear 'discipline'.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that 'discipline' is something which should be feared.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to go into an experience of wanting to hide away from 'discipline'.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to connect the word 'discipline' to memories of my parent beating me.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to attach a negative value to the word 'discipline'.

I forgive myself that I haven't accepted and allowed myself to embrace 'discipline' as me, as a point of self-support and assistance.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to resist mastering the point of self-discipline within my world and reality based on my past experiences of abuse which I had connected to the word discipline.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to blame my parents for my current experience of resistance towards self-discipline based on me holding onto these memories of my past, within this I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to remain stagnant within working with the point of self-discipline due to holding onto this blame towards them.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to connect the word discipline to the experience of pain.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to exist within this program of expressing myself in the present moment based on past events, thus never in fact living.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to go into the experience of hiding from the point of mastering self-discipline based on my past experiences of wanting to hide from the discipline application my parents applied towards me.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to use these memories as a justification for why I am not taking responsibility for mastering self-discipline within my world and reality.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to sabotage myself through having postponed the point of applying self-discipline within my life.

I forgive myself that I haven't allowed myself to consider self-discipline as an act of self-support, as it gives me the opportunity to master my self-will to work with points within my reality and to through applying self-discipline assist myself through stopping the postponement of taking responsibility for my pre-programmed design as everything I have accepted and allowed myself to become.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to postpone taking responsibility for that which I see exists within me as points of self-sabotage.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to sabotage this one life I have for correcting myself through resisting the application of self-discipline.


When and as I see myself resisting the application of self-discipline within any given moment, I stop, I breath and move myself through the resistance by doing that which I resist while utilizing breath as a support and assistance within doing so. I realize that by giving into the point of hiding from self-discipline, I am only supporting my own self-deception which is in itself stands as a justification for not standing up and taking responsibility for my that which I have accepted and allowed myself to exist as. There is no point in participating within this pattern of self-sabotage as it only serve as a cover up for my mind as ego/personality to hide behind.

I realize that self-discipline goes hand in hand with self-will and self-motivation. I understand that if I do not motivate and will myself to stop my mind of thoughts/feelings/emotions that I will effectively not have the self-discipline to stop thoughts/feelings/emotions from running rampant and controlling me instead of me being the directive principle in every moment. Thus, when and as I am faced with a thought/feeling/emotion which I have identified, I allow myself to accept my self-discipline and to apply it within directing the identified thought/feeling/emotion into a solution which can be lived as what is best for all.

When and as I see myself blaming others for the way in which I experience myself, I stop, I breathe, and I bring the point/s back to myself within the realization that it is never they that create the experience of myself, but that they are merely showing me the parts of myself which I have separated myself from and which require further self-investigation in order to take self-responsibility for as well as direct towards a solution which is best for all.

When and as I see myself fearing a point of self-supportive application based on memories of the past, I stop, I breath, and I move myself through the fear by not accepting and allowing myself to become stagnant within applying the point of self-support at hand. Within this I realize that by allowing myself to be directed by fear, I am making a statement that I am 'in-fear-ior' to that which I have separated myself from through attaching a connection of fear to it. I also see/realize and understand that it does not support me in any way to allow myself to be directed by fear as it only serves as a back-door to not have to face that which is here for me to face as myself as well as to take self-responsibility for.

I realize that self-discipline is an act of self-dedication and self-commitment and that through applying self-discipline I am honoring my decision to take responsibility for myself as that which I have accepted and allowed to exist within and as.

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Rozelle de Lange
Posts: 650
Joined: 14 Jun 2011, 14:04

Re: Rozelle's Journey to Life

Post by Rozelle de Lange »

Day 2 - Inner Conflict with Money
http://rozelledelangeblog.blogspot.com/ ... money.html

I faced points today in relation to my relationship with money. This is because it was my monthly shopping day. This has been a major pattern which plays out every month when it comes time to go to town to do my shopping.

As I was getting ready to go to town, I projected what I require doing today in terms of places I need to go and pay as well as necessities I require to get. Obviously I have a ready-draw-out budget, so I know exactly how much money I will be left with, which is practically nothing.

Thought:
I am again going to be left with nothing for myself by the time this day is finished.
Emotion/Feeling:
Self-pity
Frustration

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to go into self-pity when considering the amount of money I will have left after buying that which I require.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to go into frustration whenever I participate within thoughts regarding my relationship with money.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to compare myself to others in relation to how much money I have, within this I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to judge myself as inferior/less than others when comparing myself to them within this money point.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to create and participate within an energetic experience of jealousy through my participation within the thought 'I wish I could also buy what I want, like they are able to'.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to feel worthless based on the amount of money I have.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to connect the experience of worthlessness as a self-judgment to the amount of money as value I have.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to connect the value of money to my own self-value, wherein I feel more valuable when I have a lot of money, and feel inferior and invaluable when I have little or no money.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to accept the beliefs of society around the value system of money and to have made this part of my starting point of viewing people/situation/locations within this world, whereby I judge these points and assign value to them according to the amount money it/they have attached to it/them.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to feel embarrassed/humiliated when I am not able to participate within a situation with others which requires money to allow me to participate.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to project my self-judgment about my money status onto others within the thought 'they probably see me as inferior because they have more available money than I do'.

I forgive myself that I haven't allowed myself to take responsibility for the backchat I have in relation to my money matters.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to suppress all of the fears I have in relation to money.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to feel guilty whenever I buy something for myself which is not a pressing necessity.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to assign value to people according to what type of car they drive, or what type of clothes they buy, which shows that I have accepted and allowed myself to place value to people according how much money they have.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to want to hide away from having to deal with money.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to exist within a self-created love/hate relationship with money which is specific to loving it when I have it and hating it when I don't.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to sabotage myself through having created a fear-based relationship with money.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to separate myself from money within it's totality through viewing it as a point outside of myself which is completely out of my reach to be able to direct.

I forgive myself that I haven't allowed myself to consider that I am not the only being facing this point of fear in relation to money, within this I forgive myself that I have not allowed myself to walk through my resistances with regards to money in order to learn more about it to gain a better understanding of how I am able to play my part in changing it into a value-system which can support all to exist independent of how it exists within our current reality as a polarity charged system of have/have not, fear/happiness.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to separate myself form our current money system through fearing it.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to feel unworthy of having money.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to feel guilty for having money.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to resent money.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to desire to have more money.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to participate within an inner dialogue where I use points to justify why I do not have much money as I see now that it is merely an attempt to make myself feel better. Within this I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to hide the truth of what I experience as me behind inner self-talk as justifications instead of moving myself to investigate the points of origin of what I experience within me as thoughts/feelings/emotions.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to resist investigating my personal relationship with money as well the relationships existent in this world from a starting point of money.

I will share my self-corrective statement as a continuation of the self-forgiveness I have walked herein, within my Day 3 writings

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Rozelle de Lange
Posts: 650
Joined: 14 Jun 2011, 14:04

Re: Rozelle's Journey to Life

Post by Rozelle de Lange »

Day 3 - Inner conflict with Money continued...
http://rozelledelangeblog.blogspot.com/ ... money.html

When and as I see myself faced with the point of self-pity, I stop, I breath and I do not allow myself to participate within this self-abusive pattern but instead support myself through investigating what triggered the self-pity and within this I investigate any thoughts, backchat, emotions/feelings which are part of the pattern's design, and then I direct myself to apply self-forgiveness and redirect myself with self-corrective statements

When and as I see myself judging myself or another based on the value system of our current money system wherein I view myself or another as inferior/superior based on the amount of money I/they have, I stop, I breath and I realize that by participating within this thought-pattern of judgment/self-judgment, I am in fact making a statement that I support and accept this life-sabotaging system to exist within me and thus to reflect itself within the world system. I commit myself to being self-aware and stopping any and all thoughts of judgment towards myself and another in relation to this pattern I have identified here within myself.

When and as I see myself participating within jealousy towards another wherein I desire to have what they have, I stop, I breath and redirect myself within the realization that that to allow myself to participate within jealousy is to allow myself to feed a system of competition, whereby I have the intention of being better that/more than another. I no longer allow myself to accept this as a point to act on as it only serves to perpetuate the abusive system design of competition.

When and as I see myself participating within the belief that I am not worthy as life based on the amount of money I have, I stop, I breath and I realize that the value of life is life and that it is not determined in any way whatsoever by the current money systems of this world.

I commit myself to investigate and come to know how my participations in my mind have accumulated and manifested a world where not all have equal value in this physical reality, and to direct myself to applying self-forgiveness and to live the corrections required so that I can stand as example

I commit myself to doing everything I am able to in order to support a universal solution like the Equal Money System which will ensure that no being has to suffer for the sake of money and so that the value of life as life is realized and manifested on earth for all to discover themselves as life without the abusive shackles of the current monetary systems.

I commit myself to educating myself about the money systems of this world which govern billions of lives and suppress all into a point of slavery, so that I am able to apply myself towards establishing a solution which is best for all.

My relationship with money within its entirety is quite extensive, and I can see this now through how just this one day (my shopping day) had revealed so much to me. I know there is more to uncover within this points so I commit myself to identifying my back chat in relation to money when and as it arrives, and to direct myself to investigating the back chat so that I am able to apply self-forgiveness and live the corrections required so that I am no longer enslaved by my internal self-talk around money.

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Rozelle de Lange
Posts: 650
Joined: 14 Jun 2011, 14:04

Re: Rozelle's Journey to Life

Post by Rozelle de Lange »

Day 4 - Communication
http://rozelledelangeblog.blogspot.com/ ... ation.html

I've been experiencing a point of uncomfortableness within communication with other beings within my physical reality. After investigating this within asking the question 'why is it that I feel uncomfortable within communication?', I saw how within my mind I have assigned value-judgments to each and every single person within my reality. So it's like each person has a place-holder within my mind, and on top of these holders I have places labels as markers according to how I judge myself to/towards that person as either seeing myself as inferior to them or superior to them in any way. Both these polarities have different play outs which do not support me or the other within any given moment, therefore they are completely unacceptable. However, merely saying that they are unacceptable, and then still going on to live, move, communicate within these mind-determined paths of judgment will only reinforce my further enslavement to the mind-programs which I have existent within me (which are clearly sitting in the driver's seat of my life, where they are directing me instead of me directing myself).

This point has been going on for a while now, and I have thus far just 'swept it under the rug' , which has only allowed for the accumulation of this mind-mess to the point where I have desired to never have to move myself within communication again. This obviously shows that I have created and manifested a point of great resistance to the act of simple communication, and further shows that all I am doing within allowing myself to participate within this resistance is that I am in fact avoiding the act of actually stopping myself to take a look at what I am facing within communication as that which I do not want to take responsibility for.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to feel inferior to a being to whom I have assigned a label of 'superiority' based on the judgment I have placed on them as being 'more developed within their process of self-change'.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to judge myself as inferior to another based on my participation within thoughts of comparison.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to feel superior to a being to whom I have assigned a label of 'inferiority' based on the judgment I have placed on them as being 'less developed within their process of self-change'.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to judge myself as superior to another based on my participation within thoughts of comparison.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to resist communication with another because of my awareness of the fact that I have tainted my communication with a being due to my participation within thoughts of comparison to/towards a being, instead of realizing that I am able to stop and re-direct myself to applying a solution whereby I investigate each point of separation individually and apply self-forgiveness as well as script out and live a correction to each individual point of separation.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to want to hide form taking responsibility for that which I see existent within me which does not support life in any way whatsoever. Within this I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to postpone the act of taking responsibility for that which I see requires self-direction within myself.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to limit myself and another by/through assigning place holders according to my judgments towards myself/another within my mind and to then have allowed myself to live in accordance to these mind-determined placements.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to sabotage my opportunities for expansion through not having accepted and allowed myself to participate with another equally outside the parameters of my mind-reality.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to separate myself from another in any way whatsoever through my participation within thoughts of judgment to/towards myself/the other within the design of comparison.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to limit myself through fear of what other will think of me if I were to change the way in which I communicate.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to use the thought of 'what will others think of me if I were to change' as a justification for continuing to exist in patterns which I know are bullshit and do not serve and support me/another in any way as being able to stand as an expression of what is best for all.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to perpetuate the systems of abuse which are consequential outflows of comparison and judgment within this world, by/though allowing myself to entertain thoughts of judgment and comparison within my mind.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to see myself as separate from those around me and to have within this judged myself as inferior to everyone based on my mind-participations of self-abuse.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to judge the sound of my voice as being too low and 'manly', within this I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to go into thoughts of self-judgment and an energetic experience of wanting to hide as well as frustration when and as I become aware of the sound of my voice when I am speaking.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to separate myself from the sound of my voice through self-judgments based on comparing my voice to that of other women within the belief that my voice should be more high pitched instead of being so deep and low.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to go so far within this separation to the point where I deliberately try not being aware of the sound of my voice. Within this I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to use this as a coping-mechanism which I use for the purpose of hiding behind instead of facing the core points which I have accepted and allowed myself separate myself from.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to 'duck and dive' around the actual core points in relation to why I feel uncomfortable within communication, instead of realizing that I am able to direct myself into a new expression within communication through opening the points up and facing myself within what the core points reflect back to me as points which I have not taken responsibility for yet.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to sabotage my daily opportunities of expansion within participation with others in my physical reality.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to be moved by my mind value-judgments when and as I walk past or see a specific being within my physical reality, where I allowed myself to go into an energetic experience of inferiority or superiority when and as I walk past or see a specific being.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to separate myself from the act of stopping and taking full self-responsibility for the way in which I communicate and experience myself within communication.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that if I see a point for what it is, that this is enough, instead of realizing that unless I investigate each point of separation existent within myself in detailed specificity and move myself to apply self-forgiveness and live a correction, that my thoughts and behavior patterns will override any intention I have of changing.

I commit myself to being aware of all thoughts of judgment which arise within me when/as I communicate and participate with another within my physical reality and I commit myself to writing out each point in detailed specificity so that I am able to see how the pattern works as well as its point of origin and then to self-forgive the point and to live a correction which stands within the principle of being what is best for all when and as I am faced with the same point again.

I commit myself to not allowing fear to direct me as I test out new supportive ways of communicating outside the patterns which I have been applying thus far within my life.

I commit myself to stand equal to another within communication and to actively stop any thoughts of separation which come forth as my pre-programmed patterns.

I commit myself to seeing each point of interaction with another as an opportunity for expansion within a process of inversion through which I take the points which arise from the interaction and reflect them back to myself to see that which I have not yet taken responsibility for and then to simply take responsibility for it. Within this I am grateful for any/all points which present themselves to me through another being within communication as I realize that without others reflecting me back to me, I would not be able to see myself as what I have accepted and allowed myself to exist as.

I commit myself to embrace each opportunity of communication with another and to participate equally without separating myself from the communication by participating within thoughts which lead to an energetic experience of inferiority/superiority.

I commit myself to stop hiding behind thoughts of 'how I should act, speak, sound' within communication with another, but to instead assist myself by bringing myself back here to the physical where I participate within communication outside my mind limitations as thoughts.

I commit myself to take responsibility for myself to change myself into a living being instead of continuing to exist as a pre-programmed personality system of abuse.


I will be sharing further writings about this point of communication within blogs to come, as I can see that I have merely only scratched the surface here of what I see is existent within me regarding this point, as all of the layers I have created in relation to communication.

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Rozelle de Lange
Posts: 650
Joined: 14 Jun 2011, 14:04

Re: Rozelle's Journey to Life

Post by Rozelle de Lange »

Day 5 - Compromising my body to Get and Keep a Man
http://rozelledelangeblog.blogspot.com/ ... t-and.html

I've been in many relationships within my life on this earth. The relationships I am referring to here are specifically with regards to men and dating. Since the start of my process of self-change, I have not allowed myself to go back in time to re-direct all of the points which I had walked as experiences within each relationship on its own. The reason for this is that I thought to myself "it's in the past, I can see what I have allowed and I will not allow myself to 'go there' again".
The first red flag here is that fact that I allowed myself to come to this CONclusion based on a THOUGHT.

Now all of the suppressed stuff from my past relationships has been triggered again and re-surfaced in order for me to face that which I have allowed myself to ignorantly not take responsibility for.

This is where my agreement with my partner has assisted me a lot. Through him walking his process of self-investigation and self-forgiveness, it has triggered MANY reactions within me which before now I thought were gone and dealt with. My partner has been an immense support within standing as a mirror for me to see myself as all that I exist as in this moment. I have however been postponing the inevitable which is that I require walking back in time to revisit each relationship I have participated within, in order to correct the points which I had allowed to direct my relationships/me at that time. In the act of applying this, I will gift myself the opportunity to create a new expression within my current agreement, instead of allowing old patterns to come into the new, which would inevitably (irrespective of my intentions) destroy this gift which in an opportunity to truly face myself as ALL of me.

So I will be walking self-forgiveness in relation to my past relationship and the patterns I have allowed myself to participate within in order to maintain the past relationships. I will not share the original events which I have faced in relation to the points I reacted to in terms of what my partner is facing within himself, because it is clear to me that it is completely irrelevant to share the details of these events, as what I am facing has got nothing to do with these events at all - the only points which are relevant to share here in my process of self-change is the points the events showed me about myself through standing as mirrors wherein I had opportunities to see myself as who I am currently as a system design of self-abuse and self-sabotage through that which I have accepted and allowed as myself.

The first point I am going to investigate for myself is in relation to my body, as I have in every past relationship always compromised my relationship with my body in order to 'get the man' and to then also ensure that I 'keep the man'.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to postpone the act of walking myself back in time through investigating the layers existent within me as memories in relation to my past relationships of failure.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to give into the belief that having a realization about a specific point is sufficient self-movement towards changing the origin of a pattern of self-sabotage, instead of realizing that in order to change a specific pattern existent within me, I require moving myself within self-honesty to investigate the whole design of the pattern within its totality so that I am able to see through this how I have created and participated within the specific pattern, thus placing myself in a position where I am able to direct myself into a new way of living when and as I am faced with the same pattern design again. This is self-responsibility in action.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to judge my body through my perception of what men like to see when viewing a women’s body.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to abuse my body so that I could get sexual attention and recognition from men.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to only feel validated as a person whenever I received compliments from men in relation to my looks.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to participate within relationships where I allowed men to dictate to me what to wear and how to eat so that I could fit into their idea of what a women should look like.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to justify my participating and allowance within/of such abusive relationship all for the sake of satisfying my desire for acceptance and affection. Within this I forgive myself that I haven’t accepted and allowed myself to express affection towards myself.

I forgive myself that I haven’t allowed myself to accept myself as who I am but to have instead hidden from myself through within and through separation by looking for acceptance outside of myself from men specifically.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to program/design myself as a personality of self-abuse according to pictures I have seen of models through media wherein I abused my body in order to align my body to what they look like, so that I could also be a ‘pretty picture’.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to starve my physical body of food within the attempt to align my body to a mental picture I had created as an ideal presentation of myself within the desire and starting point to be accepted within society.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to have participated within the creation of a world of polarity which has manifested a world system which favors and supports those who present themselves according to pictures of illusion which are seen as beauty.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to abuse my body through the act of placing make-up and other ‘beauty’ products on it from the starting point of wanting to fit in with society’s idea of beauty. Within this I forgive myself that I haven’t accepted and allowed myself to consider the abuse I have perpetuated through the act using these products, such as the abuse of animals all for the sake of presenting a false image of myself to men specifically within and from the fear that I will be rejected if I do not present myself in the ways society/media imprinted me to look like.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to change my relationship with food to one of judgment and compromise in order to fit into an elite lifestyle of a man so that he could accept me through seeing that I am willing to live a life in alignment to his perception of a healthy lifestyle.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to judge my body according to the images which have been imprinted into me through society/media and to within this have view myself as inferior to these images of models and fashion clothing in particular.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to sabotage my relationship with my body through imposing my mental pictured idea of how I should/desire to look like and to within that have abused my body to align it to this illusionary picture within my mind.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to limit myself through holding onto a mental picture idea of myself and to have created my reality to support this picture of illusion as the personality design of Rozelle de Lange.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to abuse my body within my pursuit and desire of a model body within the starting point of wanting to be accepted my others.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to project my personality as a picture presentation of myself to the world and to within this suppress how I actually experience myself within any given moment instead of allowing myself to live self-honestly in every moment of breath.


I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to participate within the separation of all living beings on earth through accepting and allowing myself to participate within judgments according to pictures of illusion instead of living here as breathe and expressing myself as life outside the limitations of the mental pictures of illusion I have adopted from the world systems of abuse.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to use my body to manipulate men to like me through dressing provocatively.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to change my behavior around men into an unnatural expression within the attempt to match the behaviors I observed through the media within an attempt to also ‘get the guy’ within my reality.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to have within my past relationship always only felt comfortable with who I am when I had make-up as well as the best clothing on, and within this I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to always put on my suit of illusion (make-up and clothes) so that my partner could only see me as the ‘pretty girl’ he met and thus still be satisfied with his choice of me as a partner.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to create and perpetuate a world where no one sees who each being are as life but instead only see pictures of illusion through my participation of accepting, allowing and participating within my mental pictures of illusion.

(Self-forgiveness statement by Lindsay Craver to which I stand equal to)
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to abuse my physical body which supports me unconditionally by/through participating in a constant and continuous desire for control of ‘who I am’ as how I want to be seen – thus not seeing myself, as who I REALLY am, in any way – I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to constrict and control my movements in this reality to fit into how I believe I SHOULD act within the particular personality I am trying to project myself as, thus not moving as self-expression, but as a mind-possession.

I commit myself to investigate and change my relationships from expressions of dishonoring myself and another as life into an expression which honors life in all ways as that which is best for all through the act of self-investigation to see what I have allowed and how I have allowed it and then through living a correction which is best for all life.

When and as I see myself entertaining a thought/movement within me of wanting to change myself so that I can be accepted by another, I stop, I breathe and I do not allow myself to participate any further within the realization that I cannot fulfill the illusion of being accepted by another as acceptance of myself comes from myself within/as self-acceptance. So I will move myself to investigate the point which reveals to me where I have separated myself form myself and then direct myself to taking that part of myself back to myself through accepting it and then changing it into an expression which will have outflows which are best for all.

I commit myself to never again allow myself to use my body to manipulate another towards my favor.

I commit myself to utilizing the relationships I have within my reality to show me where I have separated myself form myself and then to go o those parts of myself form which I am separated and give myself back to myself through self-forGIVEness.

I commit myself to develop an effective agreement with my partner as well as each being within my reality so that I may stand as an example to others so that all are able to develop equally effective relationships within reality which will result in the establishment of a world which is best for all through each being standing as the examples of what is possible when we do not exist within the confines of our internal mind-realities of self-interest.

I commit myself in stopping patterns of self-abuse in which I exist that are not what is best for all.

Maya
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Re: Rozelle's Journey to Life

Post by Maya »

Cool Rozelle!

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Rozelle de Lange
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Re: Rozelle's Journey to Life

Post by Rozelle de Lange »

Day 5 - point no. 2 - Ill-treating my dog for my own self-interest
http://rozelledelangeblog.blogspot.com/ ... y-dog.html

I am currently staying at my parents house for a duration of one and a half months for the purpose of being closer to my examination location. I brought my dog Dexter with me for the stay here. We have been here for 4 days now. The first 2 days were fine as he seemed to adjust very quickly to his temporary home. I took him for a walk on the beach on 2 occasions which he seemed to enjoy thoroughly. On the 3rd day I noticed that he was coming to me every half hour or so to ask me to take him outside. I noticed that he is very bored being cooped up in a house all day (excluding the brief pee-break walks I take him on), due to the fact that he cannot go outside by himself because my parents don't have fencing around their house (they live in a security estate). Due to it not being practical for me to leave my studying every half hour to take him for walks, I started feeling guilty for having brought him with me in the first place. The guilt rooting from the fact that I can see that he is obviously not enjoying his current situation.

There is an opportunity for me to send him back to the farm today as someone will be coming to the area to drop Joao Jesus off at the airport which is close to where I am now. While investigating the option of sending him back, I experienced a lot of resistance towards doing so. Then a red-flag went up. Why am I resisting it after the realization that it is the obvious common sense thing to do as it is in his best interest? As I dug deeper, I realized that I wanted to keep him here with me out of self-interest because he is a comfort to me. Specifically now that I am faced with living with my parents again, which means that I am constantly faced with points which are mirrored back to me through my parents and sister as points which I require taking responsibility for within myself. I came here having prepared myself to not participate within any conversations which come up within this environment as I know that they are clearly patterns of abuse which do not stand within the principle of what is best for all. So this is what I have done thus far - I have avoided any conversations which I know will lead to my parents/sister reacting to what I have to add. However I am still an observer of the conversations that go on between my parents and my sister, and within my observations I have had many reactions to their expressions towards one another. Instead of directing the reactions I have experienced within/as me, I would instead in these moments turn my attention to Dexter within the starting point of wanting to hide from what I have reacted to within my observations.

It is clear to me that I have used Dexter within my own self-interest to avoid taking responsibility for the thoughts as back chat as well as reactions as emotions which have surfaced within me through my observations within my living environment. This is not the relationship I wish to have with my dog where I simply use him to make me feel better in any given moment instead of investigating and working with the points of origin and resolving the points of inner conflict existent within me.

Thus…
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to place an animal within my care in a position which does not benefit him n any way whatsoever.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to place an animal within my care in a position to serve only my own self-interest.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to use an animal as a distraction from taking responsibility for that which I am faced with within my world/reality.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to feel guilty for using an animal to comfort me within my suppression of taking responsibility for points I see require directions instead of simply facing myself through investigating my environmental triggers which reveal to me that which I require directing towards a solution within myself, thus not using an animal to hide from self-responsibility in the first place.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to compromise an animal for the sake of protecting my mind as ego to not have to face how I am really experiencing myself.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to disregard an animal's best interests within the act of using an animal to serve my mind-originated self-interests.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to use the statement of 'but he will be distraught within not seeing me for one and a half months' as a justification for supporting my abusive self-interested choice to want to keep him here with me as a shield to hide behind from having to face what I experience within me as results of living with and being around my family.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to want to hide form taking responsibility for that which I see exists within me which does not stand as what is best for all.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to justify my abuse of another within only considering myself within self-interest.

I forgive myself that I haven't accepted and allowed myself to consider another being through placing myself in their shoes and then making a practical decision based on what is the best for the being, within this I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to impose my ideas of what is best onto the being instead of investigating and making decisions that are in fact best for the being which are not made from a starting point of manipulating my decisions to suit my self-interest.


When and as I find myself using and within this abusing another to serve my own self-interest, I stop, I breathe and I do not allow myself to participate any further as I realize that that using another to serve my self-interest means that I am in fact manifesting self-abuse within the same action.

I commit myself to stopping all patterns of abuse towards myself as well as another and to direct myself to self-forgiveness as well as correcting writing to enable myself to stand up and live a correction within what is best for all when/as I am faced with the same/similar patterns of abuse towards life.

I commit myself to being self-aware of every decision I make which influences another being's life directly as well as indirectly, and to only make implement decisions which have the outcome of what is best for the being.

I commit myself to stop hiding behind others within an illusion of comfort and safety with the starting point of wanting to hide from taking responsibility for that which I experience within/as myself.

I commit myself to facing myself as that which I have accepted and allowed myself to be/become, breath by breath within moving myself past the resistances I know I will be faced with, to stand in the face of what I am responsible in order to take my responsibility back and to change the points I face which are not best for all to that which can stand as what is best for all in all-ways.

I commit myself to honoring life instead of abusing life to protect my mind within self-interest,

I commit myself to identifying all patterns of self-abuse wherein I live out behaviors within my world/reality with the starting point of protecting my mind as ego instead of directing myself towards self-change into a living being, breathing within stability here.

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Rozelle de Lange
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Re: Rozelle's Journey to Life

Post by Rozelle de Lange »

Day 6 - Self-Trust
http://rozelledelangeblog.blogspot.com/ ... trust.html

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to doubt myself.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to doubt myself because of past experiences/memories, wherein I have defined myself as incapable/inadequate/inferior.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to feel insecure or uncertain.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to allow the experience of insecurity/uncertainty within myself, through this actually accepting this experience as me.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to be directed by the experience of insecurity/uncertainty instead of directing myself within the experience towards a solution which stands as what is best for me/all.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to desire to be more that who I am - within this implying that I am less than/inferior and that I have not accepted myself as who I am.

I forgive myself that I haven't allowed myself to accept myself here as who I am in totality, as all of the dishonesties I have accepted and allowed myself to be/become..

I forgive myself that I haven't allowed myself to embrace myself here.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to want/need/desire to prove myself to others so that others can trust me and consequently so that I can trust myself - instead of realizing that Self-Trust is here as who I am, here as breath, here as commonsense wherein I consider all as one as equal within every and any given breath within self-awareness of what I am participating within.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to want/need/desire to prove myself to others instead of proving myself to myself through my aligning my words, thoughts and deeds to being equal as a valid expression of life instead of perpetuating self-dishonesty through missing myself in every moment of breath here.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to think and believe that I must be 'trustworthy' for others and that others defining me as 'trustworthy' will validate my existence - instead of realizing the true meaning of the word trustworthy: the worth I see myself to be as life and trusting myself to be that, to live that worth as me and align my words/thoughts/deeds to be a living example of my worth as life within self-honesty.

I forgive myself that I haven't allowed myself to realize that this implies: each decide who they are - thus if I place myself and stand as equal to inferiority, this is what I will be.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to place myself as inferior and 'less than' and thus I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to in fact be less than who I really am.

I forgive myself that I haven't allowed myself to correct myself in the moment when I saw that correction was necessary according to who I will accept myself to be.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that self-correction would imply 'failure' and not being 'trustworthy', when in fact this opinion is based not on commonsense as life but on what the system imposes 'trust', 'success' and 'trustworthiness' to be.


I commit myself to establishing a solid foundation within the point of self-trust, and to within this, no longer place trust outside of myself but instead master self-trust so that I am able to stand as an example for showing that I am a being who stands accountable for all my actions/words/deeds, and to through this trust myself that I will take responsibility for all of my dishonesties and to live a correction for each and every single one so that they may be self-directed to stand on the foundational principle of communicating and expressing what is best for all.

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Rozelle de Lange
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Re: Rozelle's Journey to Life

Post by Rozelle de Lange »

Day 7 - Application of commitment to always speak commonsense
http://rozelledelangeblog.blogspot.com/ ... nt-to.html

Since living with my parents I have been faced with meeting many different kinds of people. Rich people, middle-income people, spiritual people, religious people, and even old acquaintances whom I used to be close friends with in my past.

Within my day 4 blog regarding communication I shared how I discovered that within myself I had placed value-judgment tags on people and that this was one of the reasons linked to me feeling uncomfortable within communicating with others. Since being faced with meeting and interacting with different people outside of the Destonian community, I have seen how it is so easy for myself to be able to give into my mind to sabotage myself within this value-judgment point. Also the realization of how crucial it is to apply and live a correction in real-time when/as I am faced with these limiting patterns of self-sabotage.

The first encounter with this pattern was when one of my sister's friends mom was having a conversation with me. She asked me 'what do you do for a living?'. Clearly I don't have an 'easy one-sentence answer' to such a question. So I then proceeded to explain to her about Desteni as well as Equal Money and how I fit into it as an equal amongst the individuals who have made a commitment to apply the tools and share the message of Desteni and Equal Money. During the conversation I was interrupted by 'A' saying "that's enough Rozelle" within a very controlling tonality. Within that moment I could see that 'A' perceived that I was making this rich lady very uncomfortable within talking about Desteni and Equal Money. In reality the lady was very curious about what I had to share and we ended up having a really cool conversation where we discussed many points around the current economic systems. However, within me I experienced an uneasiness within my body because each time I looked at 'A' who was standing behind the lady I could see facial expressions being directed towards me which I experienced as if they were telling me 'this is not the time and place to talk about this'. At one point 'A' even lip-synced to me to 'stop it NOW' - lol. Another point I faced within the start of this specific conversation with 'the rich lady' is that I felt inferior towards her and felt that I would be attacked for sharing my message of Desteni and Equal Money. So for a moment I stopped and allowed the conversation to be steered into a different direction where everyone ended up speaking about trivial points. I felt extremely uncomfortable because I didn't allow myself to participate within the conversation which was being participated within at this time. I also felt uneasy within myself because of the fact that I had allowed myself to go into a form of suppression within sharing the common sense I had started sharing. Then I pushed myself to move through this resistance and to apply the correction I had made within myself and placed as a commitment for myself to live, which is to not allow myself to suppress sharing common sense when/as I see it is here to share.

So this was a really cool opportunity for me to live the correction of not allowing myself to be moved by my mind-interpretation of a situation/person, but to instead stand up within the internal conflict to a point where I stand stable here where I am able to simply share myself with another without fear/judgment/self-judgment. So within this I saw how the pattern started out by directing me to a point where I went into a form of hiding within myself in order to make others feel comfortable within 'not wanting to upset their momentary illusions of happiness' as well as at the same time allowing myself to sabotage myself within supporting this, whereby I allowed myself to attach a value-judgment to the being as being 'rich' and 'not able or willing to here what I have to share' which was all accompanied with the belief that 'I will be judged as weird/strange for communicating common sense'. Then as this all played-out, I physically stopped myself from participating within the illusions which were racing through my mind and I then returned to speaking and participating within the conversation from speaking common sense and allowing myself to participate as an equal amongst all who were around me as well as the lady whom I was directly communicating with.

From here, all of the other encounters I have had where people ask me 'what do you do now', I have allowed myself to simply share the message of Desteni and Equal Money without resistance. Of course within each individual conversation on its own, many points have reared their heads to me as points to look at within self-investigation and to direct to a solution which can be lived practically as what is best for all. The point I would like to highlight here is that it has been cool for me to see that as long as I actually LIVE the corrections I have placed for myself (such as in this event), then its easier to face any points which come from it as points to correct and align within myself. Before I would just resist applying the correction from the starting point of fear for what I will be faced with as consequential outflows of patterns which exist within me. Before coming here I had resisted seeing people I used to be acquainted with due to not wanting any conflict etc. However, in reality, I see that I had made a huge mountain out of an illusionary mole hole to begin with, which was all based on the judgments I had allowed within my mind. In reality, within this point, I have found that it is really so much simpler to stand and communicate common sense as long as I do not separate myself from others within allowing myself to give attention to and be directed by my thoughts. It's far more arduous and completely self-dishonest to communicate from a pretense starting point wherein I manipulate myself into being/behaving a certain way all for the sake of 'keeping the peace'.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to react when I see that another's disapproval of my topic of communication, and to have within this reaction allowed myself to go into an experience of suppression.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to react to another's physical expressions which I judge as being deliberately controlling.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to judge another's physical expressions as controlling instead of allowing myself to observe a pattern which is being played out without judging it within polarity as being good or bad.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear being perceived as strange/weird for speaking common sense.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear a rich persons reaction towards hearing the equal money system message.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear not being accepted by those who disagree with what I share within communication.

I forgive myself that I haven't allowed myself to accept myself within my expression of sharing about the equal money system.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to experience hidden superiority when I see that another agrees with me and applauds the message of equal money/desteni.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to experience hidden anger when I see that a person is defending his/her beliefs which stand in separation of life, within this I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to defend belief systems which do not stand in support of life.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to experience a need to make a person understand what they are doing within defending their beliefs, within this showing that I am attempting to be a savior. Within this I forgive myself that I haven't allowed myself to instead speak from a starting point of breath wherein I have no expectations guiding me but instead am guided by common sense where I express/share outside of the deceptive and self-dishonest limitations of polarity.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to suppress communicating when faced with the idea that I will create conflict or a point of uncomfortability and to within this allow the fear of not being approved to direct me into a point of suppression. Within this I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to be moved by polarity into an experience of conforming to social standards instead of allowing myself to accept courage as me within such moments where I instead allow myself to stand with stability and stick to communicating that which I know stands in support of myself/others.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to manipulate myself into a point of compromising life within allowing myself to compensate for people's ego's instead of allowing myself to stand in the face of dishonesty and to walk through the resistance I face and to stand stable as breath where I allow myself to from this starting point expose the dishonesties I see within any given moment.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to copy the social behaviors that were shown to me by my environment/society wherein I manipulate myself to be someone who is acceptable according to society's standards, more specifically wherein I resist sharing the self-honest truth of what we have accepted and allowed as humanity due to this social behavior pattern of feeling obligated to always act in such a way that I do not upset anyone through making them uncomfortable within any given situation.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to separate myself from life through having accepted and allowed these social behavior patterns to exist within and as me. I see, realize and understand that these patterns constitute the invisible walls which we have accepted and allowed to separate us from standing up for life and changing ourselves into living, breathing, equal participants here on earth wherein we consider all equally and do whatever it takes to manifest a world which reflects that which is in fact best for all.

I commit myself to the process of assisting and supporting myself to stop any mind-interference within my communication with others.

I commit myself to work towards the establishment of a world where all are able to unconditionally and effectively express themselves within everything they do and where all are able to co-exist with each other/nature/animals outside of the abusive parameters of self-interest in the pursuit of individual happiness.

I commit myself to the process of assisting and supporting myself to aligning my words/deeds to being able to stand as support and assistance to myself as well as others. Within this I commit myself to establish a stable foundation of self-awareness so that I do not allow any words to pass my lips without considering what they stand to support, so as to ensure that I do not allow myself to perpetuate 'the religion of self', but instead only allow that which support me/others within my/their journey to becoming life.

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Rozelle de Lange
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Re: Rozelle's Journey to Life

Post by Rozelle de Lange »

Day 8 - Stop Blaming and Take Action within Self-Responsibility
http://rozelledelangeblog.blogspot.com/ ... ction.html

I had an experience a few nights ago where a burglar was trying to break into the house where I was staying. He attempted his break in through the room where I was sleeping. A long story short - I discovered him and he then pulled me through the burglar bars of the window to try and, well either keep my mouth shut or to force me let him in. I broke free, ran away and screamed for help.

The aftermath of this was a conglomeration of points which I observed as people's individual reactions to this event that had taken place.
I observed blame in the form of tagging this event specifically to a specific race of people. I observed anger and fear being shared from a parent's starting point. I witnessed the complete separation we have accepted and allowed within the act of not even considering that we are each individually responsible for what exists here on earth as crime, rape, theft, burglary, abuse.

For myself, I did not for one moment blame the person who had attempted to get into the house, because I know that the event was purely a sign of the times we live in and it is accompanied with the realization that this exists because we have accepted and allowed a system of abuse in the form of money to manifest on earth wherein we have those that have and those that have not. So it is commonsense that the beings who tried to break in formed part of the have-nots in this world, and within being driven to survive due to the economic systems of abuse that exist, they were led by the fear of survival to obtain goods which they could sell for money in order to secure their existence on this earth.

I experienced a lot of anger within me when I shared this common sense realization with all those who were concerned about me and what had happened. Their starting point was one of blame and anger directed towards points which were completely not valid, and they were even more enraged when they learned that I did not share the same starting point of blame and anger towards the individual who had attempted to break-in.

So here I face the anger that I experienced towards the beings who blamed and used racist remarks, because it is clear to me that through reacting in anger towards this, it only shows that I have separated myself from these points which exists as me here in this world. I have to place myself as equal to each and every single point which I observed within all of the feedback I received from others in relation to this event, because if I cannot stand in their shoes and apply self-forgiveness from that standing point as me, then is shows that I am in separation and that the points will not be directed into a solution that is best for all.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to blame the existence of crime solely on the individuals who commit crimes, instead of considering that the starting point of crime lies within the systems of this world as how we have accepted and allowed them to exist thus far.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to blame government and those in power for the existence of crime instead of realizing that I am an equal participant within this world and thus have equal responsibility towards changing the systems of this world to support life instead of perpetuating the crimes towards life through my own inaction of standing up for and applying a solution which is best for all.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to attempt to justify the abuse that exists within this world instead of allowing myself to be self-honest and realizing that the longer I justify the longer the abuse will remain unchanged, thus I forgive myself that I have not accepted and allowed myself to stop justifying what exists here on earth as all of the abuse which has been manifested and I forgive myself that I have not allowed myself to stand up as an equal within responsibility to change the world into a place where all are able to exist without fear of surviving.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to separate myself from another based on their skin color and to have blamed a race for the existence of crime.

I forgive myself that I have not accepted and allowed myself to see, realize and understand that a child who is born into a family with little or no money is a child who is destined to lead a life of crime due to the basic fact that they require money to obtain their basic living requirements, thus I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to blame the race of the child for their acts of crime instead of turning my attention to the real criminal which is the current abusive money systems of this world.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to separate myself from those who are suffering within the current world systems and to within this blame those who are suffering for the conditions that they exist within.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to place the responsibility I have towards the world I live in on political leaders so that I may have someone to blame when things go wrong and to within this use it as a justification for why the world is the way it is.

I forgive myself that I have not accepted and allowed myself to stop all forms of justification which exist within me as to why the world is the way it is.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to be ignorant in believing that 'as long as I am OK, then everything is OK', within this revealing to myself the level of absolute separation I have manifested for myself from life here in the physical.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to be more concerned with my own self-interested happiness instead of realizing that the happiness I pursue within separation of life is in fact an illusion as it is not manifested here in the physical for all to embrace - thus again confirming my separation from all life here on earth.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to project blame onto others for why the world is the way it is, instead of seeing, realizing and understanding that as long as I place the responsibility of change onto another that I will only perpetuate the abuse which exists within the world through abdicating my responsibility as an equal as life in changing what is here.

I forgive myself that I have not accepted and allowed myself to live the realization that I must be the change that I want to see in this world, thus I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to postpone change through postponing the act of changing myself though taking responsibility for my creation as what is here in the physical reality.

I commit myself to placing myself as equal to all of the parts of me which are reflected back to me through observing what exists in this world as my creation, and to take responsibility in changing all the parts of me into a livable solution which is best for all, now and for eternity.

I commit myself to stopping any and every justification I have existent within me for not taking responsibility for myself and my creations of self-abuse which are reflected back to me by the world as it exists currently.

I commit myself to doing what is required from me as an equal participant on earth to practically manifest a world where no one has to live in fear for their life in any way whatsoever.

I commit myself to investigating and exposing with common sense the real reasons of how we as humanity have manifested a world of abuse and to within this change the ways in which I have existed which have contributed to the abuse through living a practical solution to each individual point so that I may stop the abuse of self as life as all.

I commit myself to stopping the crimes which are being committed towards life through taking responsibility for each point where I have allowed myself to perpetuate the crimes through existing within a state of polarity as energy. Thus I commit myself to investigate myself as who I have allowed myself to be/become within brutal self-honesty in order to identify where I have allowed myself to separate myself from life here by/through existing within systems of polarity designs.

I commit myself to be courageous in challenging with common sense every point where abuse of Life has become the justified way of Life of the human race

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