Rozelle's Journey to Life

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Rozelle de Lange
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Re: Rozelle's Journey to Life

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Day 159 - I Purposefully Killed a Frog
http://rozelledelangeblog.blogspot.com/ ... -frog.html

So the other night I went to the bathroom, and as I closed the door I heard that crackling sound and then realized that something was jamming the door. I opened the door again and then saw a froggie jump out. Immediately I went into reaction as I realized what I had just done - I had squished the little guy. I dropped down to the floor and investigated the state he was in, and profusely apologized to him. His one eye was completely shattered and there were some of his inner s hanging out of his mouth. I then knew what I had to do… I had to kill him, as this would be what is best for him. However I fought this realization within myself for at least a minute or 2, as I was completely stuck within this feeling of guilt as well as an experience of sadness for what the frog must be experiencing. I was also in a way hoping that in some way he would be OK, so that I would not have to kill him, so I was investigating him closely to see if there is any sign of this. He was jumping and looked fine on the one side of his body, but as soon as I placed myself in his shoes, I realized that he was not OK and would not survive with the deformities he has from being squished.

So in one moment, I breathed and grounded myself within myself and stopped participating within the emotional experience I was in. Then I started looking for a brick or similar to kill the frog with. I found a big and flat surfaced rock which would be able to do the job effectively. I then took him outside onto the step, and then came this IMMENSE resistance to doing what I knew I must - kill him. Then I realized that the longer I procrastinate = the longer he is suffering. So I literally had to use my voice and speak directly to myself through the emotions "STOP Rozelle! Breathe.." and then I hit the rock as hard as I could over the frog. As soon as I lifted the rock, he jumped out from under it, so I had to immediately repeat the same process to finish his life on earth off.

I went into the detail here specifically, to show a point I realized within this all. Doing what is best even when your whole body and mind fight against it. Living what is best is in moments extremely tough, however it has to be done no matter what. Now, If we look at the world we live in with all of the suffering existent within it. We can see how we avoid walking through our own mind's and resistances towards applying that which is best for all. Yet we all get triggered with anger and emotion whenever we see an animal or human suffering in the form of shared news/pictures/documentaries etc. However, we are too eager to protect our experiences of ourselves within this life, and this prevents up from stepping beyond our own self-interest in order to do what is necessary to stop the suffering which exists. All kinds of protection mechanisms exist within us in the form of justifications, belief systems, opinions, ideas, blame etc. Doing what is best is not an easy task when you are protecting your character's design. So the problem then exists within one's character, within the design of the character one has accepted and allowed oneself to be/become. Time to start INVESTigating your character within its totality, and establish the problem points which are preventing you from living what is best for all. It's no easy task to face oneself, yet we owe it to ourselves and those around us if we ever wish to see a world where life is respected and all are able to live in dignity. Investigate Desteni I Process and Eqafe for support within the process of investigating your pre-programming and learning how to step beyond that in order to arrive atthat which is best for all (which obviously includes yourself).
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Rozelle de Lange
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Re: Rozelle's Journey to Life

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Day 160 - Blade Runner's Trial - My Rant
http://rozelledelangeblog.blogspot.com/ ... -rant.html

I've been noticing a lot of movement within the Oscar Pistorius Trial, meaning that MANY South Africans are following it and are participating within discussion about the whole Oscar point. So for those who are not living in South Africa, and are not aware of the history here (as it has made international news)… here then a quick update:

Oscar Pistorius is a leading South African sprint runner who won attention as an athlete with a disability competing at a high level, including multiple Paralympic Games and the 2012 Summer Olympics. To South Africans he is most commonly known as the Blade Runner because he runs on his prosthetic legs which look like blades. Oscar dated Reeva Steenkamp, who was a South African model and reality TV star. On 14 February 2013, she was shot dead by the Paralympic athlete Oscar Pistorius at his Pretoria home. So basically, Oscar acknowledges that he shot Reeva to death and says that he mistook her for an intruder.

The Pretoria High Court ruled that the entire trial may be broadcast live via audio and that parts of the trial may be broadcast live via television, namely the opening and closing arguments, the testimony of consenting state witnesses, the judgment, and the sentencing if applicable. Hence why so many South Africans are following the Oscar trial so closely.

My issue with all of this is the fact that Oscar's trial is getting so much attention from people mostly due to the fact that he is an SA sports star, and that Reeva is a beautiful model in SA. Not saying there is anything wrong with this at all, but rather pointing out the fact that humans are SO brainwashed to only show interest when certain 'points' are met. I watched a few minutes of one of the Oscar trials which had been broadcast on TV, and I noticed the scrupulous way he the whole murder was being investigated, and immediately the thought that popped up in me was "imagine if ALL murders and injustices to life were investigated like this… We would SURELY have a changed world by now".

What is the CEO's of the corporations who destroy and harm life all for the sake of profit were also investigated in this manner.
Question: "Did you know that the consequences of your decisions would cause 'x amount' of children to be forced into child slavery all for the sake of you being able to sell your product for a cheaper price?"
Answer: "Yes"
Question: "So to be clear - despite the fact that you KNEW you would be abusing life, you decided to execute your decision regardless?"
Answer: "Yes"
Response: "Would you agree that you placed the value of your own life above others, and that in doing so you made and implemented decisions which would serve your own behest all for the sake of greed and power and status recognition, thus confirming that your current accepted and allowed character is in fact lessor than life?"

Just imagine if all injustices to life would be met with the same amount of eyes eagerly following and discussing the points which open up and exist in our world. The abuse of animals, children, nature, people all because we have systems run by self-interested characters which exist to enslave us all. We are in fact our OWN slave masters. Just imagine if we would wake up and give attention to that which is of value - LIFE. We have de-valued life and it’s time to restore the value of life.
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Rozelle de Lange
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Re: Rozelle's Journey to Life

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Day 161 - The Value of Validation - My Added Insights
http://rozelledelangeblog.blogspot.com/ ... added.html

This blog is inspired by the writings from Activist's Journey to Life - Day 528: The Value of Validation

"Recent circumstances have reminded me a lot of my childhood and I have been pondering my past experiences in terms of how my dad would approach certain situations. I remember him always being the same in this respect, up until his death last year.

The point I have been mulling around in my head is centered on validation, and what the effects of it are on a child.

The memories of my dad congratulating me or saying "well done" are small in number. When I was a child my reaction was that somehow he wasn't interested, but now as I look back this feeling was simply born from the fact that every other adult in my life would congratulate me on successfully completing even the most menial of tasks. Now I cannot answer at this moment with absolute proof the question of "what came first?" (the chicken or the egg?) in terms of a child's desire for validation: does the parent create this desire or is it inherently present in our DNA. At this point it is most likely a part of our DNA, although what I have seen for myself is that our DNA is not set in stone. The development (or non-development) of the desire for validation would not spontaneously manifest simply because there is a genetic predisposition - the environment must contribute by creating events that cause the child to recognise that validation is in some way a "good thing", like a reward.

Obviously just because we feel rewarded or "good" about something doesn't mean that it is actually "good" for us. What I have come to recognise from my own childhood is that all the rewarding and congratulations that I got for every little thing I did caused me to start doing things not because I enjoyed them, but because I wanted that positive feeling of being rewarded.

So back to my memories of my dad: he did not say "well done" for the things that I apparently enjoyed doing. For example, when I was a girl I went to a horse riding school and competed in a little event. I perceived that my dad showed no interest in my little tournament - but in reality I was supposed to be doing this because I wanted to - because I enjoyed it - but my experience became more about wanting to get recognition for doing this thing that was supposed to be just about me having a good time. In this respect, the constant validation that children get creates the outcome of the child no longer doing things out of self enjoyment, but out of a desire for that positive feeling from being told how fantastic they are.

In terms of my own experience, I can now clearly see the benefit of my dad's actions. He only would congratulate me or tell me he was proud when I actually accomplished something of note, and even that was not so much a "congratulations" but more of an acknowledgement of what I had done and a reflective discussion. I have to almost laugh - it is so difficult to describe how he would talk to you and bring such clarity to a point - I feel as though my words fall short. He encouraged me to do what I enjoyed simply because I enjoyed it. He did not tell me how great I was for actually doing something, he would just say "cool" - while on the other hand every other adult kept pushing the "well done" button, not realizing that in doing so they were creating the perfect habitat for dependence to take hold, which causes the desire for validation to outweigh the point of self expression.

In recent days I have been becoming more and more aware of how so much of our interactions with each other comes from the point of validating each other. Like with every other thing, the reason for this is simple: reciprocation. If I tell people that they are great, they will most likely tell me that I am great, so fulfilling my desire for validation. If I tell other people that I value them, they are more likely to tell me that they value me, so fulfilling my desire to be appreciated. We do not do things because we enjoy them, we do things that we determine will bring us the most positive feedback. We do not act according to the principle of "do unto another as you would like to be done unto you", we do things that will most benefit our self image. Obviously your self image depends on other people validating you constantly and your self image has become one of the most important things in your life because your entire childhood was about how fantastic you were.

In reflection, a child is so susceptible to developing the desire to make their parents (or other loved ones) happy because the entire design of growing up is based on the observing and internalizing of the environment with the goal of fitting in (in a very basic sense). The child becomes happy when the parent is happy, and the child becomes happy when the parent, whom the child loves dearly and respects completely (for a while at least), tells the child that they are magnificent. I am not saying that validation is "good" or "bad" - it is simply a tool we use in our relationships, but unfortunately it has been used in such a way that causes so many children today to be more focused on making other people proud than on their own direction and enjoyment in life." - See more at: http://activistsjourneytolife.blogspot. ... pHrpR.dpuf

Very grateful for the share above from Cerise Poolman, as it opened up investigation into my own life as a child and my perpetual pattern of seeking attention and validation from my parents, mostly from my father. In my family I have a younger sister, and within our whole family unit I was always observer to my sister getting praised for things she did, whereas I was never praised in the same way in comparison to my sister. This spurred on my drive towards excelling in my sports and academics at school.

Prominent memories:
Memory 1
I remember that I made it into the 'top achievers' group for a year completed in high school, and then going home with great excitement to tell my parents about it. My dad's response to the news was "cool", with his body language indicating that he wasn't really interested in what I was sharin. My thoughts were:
"He doesn't even care about what I do"
"He doesn't love me like he loves my sister"
"Nothing I do pleases him"

Memory 2
I also joined a horse riding school as this was one of my main interests throughout my childhood. I remember my mom always taking me to my riding lessons, and then sitting in the car reading a magazine. After about 2 months of participating within the riding lessons, my mother approached me and said that she is going to discontinue my riding lessons due to it being too far for her to drive, as well as boring for her to sit and wait for me in the car.
My thoughts were:
"She could watch me riding instead of sitting in the car for an hour"
"If my sister was into this then there would be full support for her within this, similar to how she is being supported within perusing her modeling"
"This is the ONE thing I have to enjoy and now it is being taken away from me because my mother doesn't care about me"

Memory 3
I enjoyed hockey a lot at school and would even use my Saturdays to join some of my friends on our school sports fields in order to do extra training. I recall my parents not coming to watch any of my matches, and this saddened me a lot, because I wanted them to see how good I was in hockey. I also compared myself to all my other friends and their relationship with their parents, where the parents would be standing alongside the field during games, encouraging their kids. Here too I went into comparison with my parents relationship with my sister, where I would recall all the times they would go to her primary school whenever she had sports events, where they would stand alongside the field and support her with words of encouragement and acknowledge 'how great she was or did' within her events. My mother came to one of my hockey games, but she sat in the car instead of being a participant within the game as the other parents were.

Above are just three memories which are prominent in this moment which I saw require direction within walking self-forgiveness (which I will walk within my next blog post)

So basically the main ingredients within my dish of 'seeking validation' are the following:
- Feel unloved/unwanted when not acknowledged and validated by my parents
- Compare myself to my sister a lot due to observing their validation being implemented in her life
- Feel as if there is something wrong with me

So it is clear to see that my starting point for doing things within my childhood was 'seeking validation' from my parents, as this is what I believed I needed in order to feel whole/validated as a person. And because I did not receive this much from my parents, I always felt 'left out' and 'alone' and 'unworthy' as a child. I missed out on so much enjoyment and self-exploration within self-expression due to this point of seeking validation from my parents, and this pattern as also followed me into my adulthood, where in some instances I unconsciously seek validation from others for doing certain things or being a certain way.

I also recall now, in relation to Bernard, a memory of when I shared my exam results with him. I have known and lived with Bernard for some time before his passing, and I also projected this pattern of 'seeking validation' onto him, where I in a way replaced him as my father figure in my life and as such also seeked validation from him. So I can relate to Cerise in terms of the "cool" statements.. Hehe. I did unexpectedly well in my exams and I approached Bernard with excitement and a sense of being proud of myself, and told him how well I did. His response "cool". - lol.
There have also been many other times where Bernard would give similar feedback, and I realized only now after reading Cerise's blog, the value of his starting point in moments when I would underlying seek validation from him. Sometimes he would even flat out ignore me upon my sharing points with him, and this boggled my brain a lot. Now I realize the value of his silence in those moments and the actual support he was truly providing me in these moments. I was playing the game of 'attention and validation seeking', and he would not play the game with me as he realized who I was accepting and allowing myself to be within this.

The realization she brought forth in her blog in terms of the value of validation is totally commonsensical, and I in the moment experience a slight tinge of regret for not having realized this within/during my childhood. However I realize that this regret is futile, and that I am instead able to here in this moment bring this realization into myself and make it my own through stopping the pattern of seeking validation from others, and rather living from and for myself within everything I do.

Self-forgiveness to this point will be shared within my next blog post.

Thanks for reading.
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Rozelle de Lange
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Re: Rozelle's Journey to Life

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Day 162 - The Desteni of Living - My Declaration of Principle
http://rozelledelangeblog.blogspot.com/ ... on-of.html

The Desteni of Living
– My Declaration of living

1. Realizing and living my utmost potential

2. Living by the principle of what is best for all – guiding me in thought, word and deed to always in all ways direct problems to the best possible outcome for all

3. Living by the principle of self honesty – to ensure I am pure in thought, word and deed: that my within and without is equal and one. Who I am within is who I am without and vice-versa

4. Self Purification through Writing, Self Forgiveness and Self Application – the action of realizing I am responsible for my own thoughts, words and deeds, to forgive myself for transgressions and change myself to ensure I take responsibility for who, what and how I am and through this know that I can trust myself to always be honest with me and so others

5. Living the principle of Self Responsibility – realizing only I am responsible for what I accept and allow inside of me, my relationships and my outside world and so with this responsibility: only I have the power and ability to change that which I see is compromising who I am, what I live and how this affects others

6. Realizing that who I am in thought, word and deed affects not only myself – but others as well and so with Self Responsibility in thought, word and deed – I take responsibility for myself and so my relationships to be Self Aware in every moment and live in such a way that is best for me and so others as well

7. Living the Principle of Self Awareness – to be aware, to see, to recognize my own thoughts and Mind, to be self honest to the extent where I can take responsibility for when I see my thoughts / Mind is not what is best for me / others and commit to immediately take responsibility and change for myself and so for others

8. With taking responsibility for myself, becoming aware of myself – take responsibility and become aware of others in my life, to assist and support them as I am assisting and supporting myself – to give as you would like to receive and do the extra bit every day to see where I can contribute to other’s lives and so my own

9. Living the principle of self trust – as I commit myself to remain constant in my living of self honesty, self responsibility and self awareness, I stand as an unbending trust that I always in all ways know who I am no matter what I face and that in this I know, as proven in the constancy of my living that I will always honour and stand by what is best for all and so best for me

10. Making Love Visible – through me not accepting/allowing anything less than my utmost potential, I support those in my life to reach their utmost potential, to love them as I have shown love to myself by gifting to me my utmost potential, the best life/living experience and show others as I have shown myself what it means to LIVE

11. No one can save you, save yourself – the realization that the tools and principles of Desteni is the guide, but I must walk the path myself. We are here to assist and support each other in this process from Consciousness to Awareness/LIFE and what it means to live – but the process itself, where you are alone with yourself in your own Mind: is walked alone

12. Not waiting for anything or anyone to take responsibility for me and this world – but that I realize I have created who and how I am in this moment, therefore I have the responsibility to change who and how I am and so the realization that we as a collective created how and what this world is today and so it is the responsibility of the collective to change how and what this world is today

13. Honouring the life in each person, animal – everything from the great to the small of earth, that we expand our awareness and responsibility to creating the best possible life for everyone and everything and so ourselves

14. Relationships as Agreements: individuals coming together using agreements as a platform to one-on-one expand, grow and develop as individuals in life and living to support/assist each other unconditionally to reach their utmost potential where the agreement is a coming together of individuals understanding what it means to stand as equals and to stand as one

15. Sex as Self Expression – where sex is an united expression between individuals in honour, respect, consideration and regard of each other as equals, two physical bodies uniting in equality and oneness – a merging of two equals as one physically.

16. Realizing that by the virtue of me being in this world – my responsibility does not only extend to my own Mind / my own Life, but to the minds and lives of everything and everyone of this earth and so my commitment is to extend this awareness to all of humanity to work together and live together to make this world heaven on earth for ourselves and the generations to come

17. I must in my thoughts, words and deeds – but most importantly in my living actions, become a living example for others in my world that is noticeable and visible when it comes to the potential of a person to change themselves and so change their world. So that more people can realize how we can change this world, by standing united in our self change within the principle of what is best for all to bring heaven to earth

18. I am the change I want to see in me and my world – to bring heaven to earth is to bring into being, into living the LIVING PROOF of a PRACTICAL HEAVEN that can be seen and heard in our actions and words. We are the Living Heaven that must come into creation in this living world.

19. Through purifying my thoughts, words and deeds – my inner becomes my outer, so I bring into creation me as heaven into earth, realizing it is not enough to ‘see the change / be the change’ – for change to become REAL it must be a constant, consistent living of me through the words I speak and the actions I live visible and noticeable to all in every moment of breath

20. Realizing that my physical body is my temple – my physical body is the living flesh through which and in which I will bring into being and create / manifest heaven on earth as me in my thoughts, words and deeds and so I honour, respect and regard – nurture and support my physical body as I would nurture and support me as equals: my body is me

21. We are the change in ourselves and this world we have been waiting for: and so I commit to dedicate myself and my life for each one as all to realize this, as nothing will change if we don’t change in all that we are, within and without

22. The realization that for me to be able to change myself in thought, word and deed to the most effective living being that I can be and become – I first have to ‘know thyself’ and so commit myself to investigate, introspect and understand how I became who I am today, to prepare the road before me into self creation of a responsible, aware, self honest and trustworthy person for myself and so for all

23. The realization that for me to be able to contribute to change in this world – I have to get to ‘know thyself’ as this world and so commit myself to research, investigate and introspect the inner and outer workings of this world and align the systems of today to present and give the best possible life for all on Earth



In posts to come I will be walking practical examples of how I apply / live each principle.
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Rozelle de Lange
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Re: Rozelle's Journey to Life

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Day 163 - Seeking Validation: Self-Forgiveness
http://rozelledelangeblog.blogspot.com/ ... -self.html

This blog is a continuation to Day 161 - The Value of Validation - My Added Insights

Self-Forgiveness for:

Memory 1
I remember that I made it into the 'top achievers' group for a year completed in high school, and then going home with great excitement to tell my parents about it. My dad's response to the news was "cool", with his body language indicating that he wasn't really interested in what I was sharing. My thoughts were:
"He doesn't even care about what I do"
"He doesn't love me like he loves my sister"
"Nothing I do pleases him"


I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to interpret the way in which my father responded to my top achievers news, as if it meant that he did not care for me or did not love me.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to participate within as well as hold onto the thought "He doesn't even care about what I do" when my father did not act in the way I had hoped he would upon my sharing of my academic achievements. From this I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to define my relationship with myself and my father by this thought through thinking/believing and perceiving that I am less-than from the perspective of him not validating my actions.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to give my power away to the design of seeking validation for who I am and what I do from my father, thus creating the experience for myself of feeling not worthy whenever my father did not validate me and my actions within his expression towards me. From this I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to blame my father for the way in which I experienced myself as a child/teenager instead of seeing, realizing and understanding that I was the one who did not view myself as worthy and that I based my self-worth on external events and people's behavior towards me within my world.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to have gone through life trying to seek validation from others in order to make up for my father not validating me as a child/teenager, within the belief that I only have self-worth if it is recognized and pointed out by others within my world and reality.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to separate myself from myself through seeking validation from others instead of turning into myself and giving this to myself through self-acceptance, as I see, realize and understand that if I accept myself then there is no need for seeking validation for who I am in any way/for whatsoever.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to participate within as well as hold onto the thought "He doesn't love me like he loves my sister" based on holding onto memories of comparing myself with my sister with regards to our individual relationships with my father.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to participate within as well as hold onto the thought "Nothing I do pleases him" without seeing, realizing and understanding that this thought indicates that I have been seeking attention and validation from my father for the things that I do instead of simply doing things for me within self-acceptance of who I am within doing it.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to continuously compare myself to my sister and from this try to find any reason as to why my parents like her more, all in order to fuel this pattern of 'seeking validation from my parents' which is rooted from me having formed the idea/belief that I am somehow less than my sister all because my parents validate her more than myself. From this I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to judge myself through comparing my relationship with my parents to that of my sisters relationship with them.


Self-Forgiveness for:

Memory 2
I also joined a horse riding school as this was one of my main interests throughout my childhood. I remember my mom always taking me to my riding lessons, and then sitting in the car reading a magazine. After about 2 months of participating within the riding lessons, my mother approached me and said that she is going to discontinue my riding lessons due to it being too far for her to drive, as well as boring for her to sit and wait for me in the car.
My thoughts were:
"She could watch me riding instead of sitting in the car for an hour"
"If my sister was into this then there would be full support for her within this, similar to how she is being supported within perusing her modeling"
"This is the ONE thing I have to enjoy and now it is being taken away from me because my mother doesn't care about me"


I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to hold this memory against my mother up until this day, where I have allowed myself to blame her for not allowing me to participate within that which I enjoyed as a child/teenager.
From this I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fuel this blame towards my mother even further through recalling memories of my sister and how my mother supported her within her modeling and other interests my sister had throughout her life.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to hold onto the thought "My mother doesn't care about me" based on comparing how she is towards me to how she is towards my sisters within certain situations.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to tie this memory into the pattern of 'seeking validation from others' through using it as a reason to try and improve myself so that I could show my parents that I am also worthy of their support. From this I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not see, realize and understand that I have used my sister and my parents relationship towards her as a justification to participating within the patterns of 'seeking validation' for who I am.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to blame my sister as a reason for me not feeling loved, worthy and accepted within my family system, instead of seeing, realizing and understanding that I am the one who has placed these expressions outside of myself within the belief that I am only able to feel loved if ANOTHER outside of myself provides me with love, and that I can only feel worthy and accepted if another outside of myself accepts me and thus makes me experience myself as worthy.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not allow myself to accept myself as a child/teenager, and that from this I have allowed myself to open the floodgates for allowing myself to create the experience of unworthiness and all points related and rooted from this as a consequential outflow. I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to create this whole pattern of 'seeking validation' as a diversion tactic to avoid investigating my relationship with myself, through allowing myself to time loop on this point as a 'search for myself' through OTHERS instead of realizing that I am here, and I have always been here, and that within this understanding I am able to bring myself back to myself within the points where I have separated myself such as the ideas I have created which perpetuate this pattern of 'seeking validation'.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to alone and pushed aside from not receiving the attention/acknowledgment I desired from my parents.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to feel unloved and not acknowledged by myself and from this that I have allowed myself to project these experiences onto those within my world as a point of justifying why I have accepted and allowed myself to experience myself the way in which I do.
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Rozelle de Lange
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Re: Rozelle's Journey to Life

Post by Rozelle de Lange »

Day 164 - Be the Change You Want to See
http://rozelledelangeblog.blogspot.com/ ... o-see.html

Here I am investigating the following Principle from The Desteni of Living, and how I have and do live it in my life.

21. We are the change in ourselves and this world we have been waiting for: and so I commit to dedicate myself and my life for each one as all to realize this, as nothing will change if we don’t change in all that we are, within and without.
- http://forum.desteni.org/viewtopic.php?f=50&t=6833

"Be the change you want to see in the world" - Mahatma Gandhi

Most of us are aware of or have heard of this statement by Ghandi, yet many have not actually taking this realization into living within their every day lives. Looking back on my own, there was a time when I loved the idea of this statement. I was in my teens and came across this statement and I remember there was this desire to be a person who could live this, yet there was a lot of doubt within me as well - "how can my actions change the world when all I am is a puny drop in the ocean called this world?" Currently I see this doubt overshadowing many people's minds when in conversation with them. The belief that our actions are completely futile in the bigger scheme of changing the world into a place where all life is supported. Gratefully I have come to realize that a puny little drop on its own still merges and influences the drops around it, and that together the behavior of every little drop form a collective acceptance and allowance. Within the ocean called this world, the actions and behaviors of one little drop vibrates and eventually ripples through the whole ocean.

I have come to realize that self-responsibility plays a huge role within this realization. The first step is to realize that we are all in this world together and that what we accept and allow is what will continue. The second step which I realized for myself is that its not enough to just know and understand this. You have to take this realization into living through making a commitment to work on yourself and changing yourself within every aspect of your life. Your thoughts, words and deeds need to be investigated and changed from being self-interested to being that which can stand as what is best for all. I have also experienced the consequences I have created through my thoughts, words and deeds not being in alignment with this understanding. For example having made the commitment to dedicate myself to a process of self-change which will accumulate into change around me as I assist and support others as I assist and support myself - within this I have allowed myself to participate within mind patterns which have been left undirected and misaligned to this commitment, and as a result I have created consequences for myself and others which served to show me that you cannot be lewk warm within this realization and the living thereof. You are either hot or you are cold - you cannot be in-between. Having allowed this type of inconsistency within my thoughts, words and deeds has indicated to me that I have accepted and allowed myself to be a fence sitter. And if all the drops as people in the ocean of this world accept and allow this and live this as an example to others around them, then we merely perpetuate the problems within this world and at the same time we get stuck within the illusion that 'I am not able to change and my actions cannot possibly change this world".

So the key I have realized within this principle is that I AM THE ONE I have been waiting for to change and that I am the only KEY to change. No one can change me and no one can be responsible for me to change. Only I am able to change myself and through being disciplined and dedicated to changing myself and living it consistently, my actions as the examples I live to others will ripple and influence those around me. Just imagine if all of us live a new example to those around us, if all of us ripple change as what is best for all to those around us… manifesting what is best for all could quickly become a living reality.

I remember that Bernard Poolman once caught me in a moment of hopelessness, were I experienced myself within a complete sadness and hopelessness for humanity and what we have all accepted and allowed, and from this I felt completely helpless to change the course of where we are heading. Then he assisted me to be practical and bring it all back to myself. I had forgotten that I was a drop within the ocean of all. For a moment I separated myself from myself within this hopelessness. Within this he assisted me by telling me - "Do the small things as if they are hard and the big things become easy". What I understood from this is that within my every day life, within my process of investigating my mind and all the thoughts/believes/patterns I have come to accept and allow as well as in my daily actions I take to effect change such as writing a blog or supporting others in my world/reality… in every aspect of my life - here I must be completely self-aware of what I am doing and I must be disciplined to question myself in everything I do, and when I find that I am living in a way which is self-interested which would result in creating a consequence for all others around me to face (including myself), then I must take action to change the course of the direction I create within and through my behavior. Be responsible, HERE, for myself at all times, and don't allow myself to separate myself from myself through thoughts of hopelessness, but to make every action within my life count towards effecting self-change. If all live this, then we create an accumulation effect of 1 + 1 + 1 + 1 + 1…. Until it is done (until change is made manifest in this reality).

What the world needs is to realize that change is not something outside of self. It is not something separate from you. These two factors are completely intertwined. Without being the change you want to see, there can never be change. Blaming and projecting this point onto another person or circumstance outside of self only perpetuates the problem. We are the change we have been waiting for. So let's stop waiting and dedicate ourselves to realize and live our utmost potential, and thus effect change within and without in the small and bog that we do/live.
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Rozelle de Lange
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Re: Rozelle's Journey to Life

Post by Rozelle de Lange »

South African Girl Speaks Out - Introduction
http://rozelledelangeskryf.blogspot.com ... s-out.html

Within my next couple of blogs I'll be writing about my experience of growing up and living in South Africa as an Afrikaans girl. I'll be touching on the point of apartheid as this is very much a part of our history, especially with me being an Afrikaans South African. Then I will also show towards the end of this series, how we are still living in apartheid currently in our country.

Please note that the points I will eventually be writing about might stir up reactions within you as the reader. I ask forgiveness for this in advance. The writings are necessary in order to show where I have come from and what I have walked through as a girl growing up and living in SA - which you will be able to use as reference to see how I have changed myself, and to see how change in this country, as well as the world is possible. 

So to start:

I am sure many understand and are aware of the history of apartheid in our Country, however as a starting point I will just include the description here:

Apartheid (Afrikaans pronunciation: an Afrikaans word meaning "the state of being apart", literally "apart -hood")was a system of racial segregation in South Africa enforced through legislation by the National Party (NP) governments, the ruling party from 1948 to 1994, under which the rights, associations, and movements of the majority black inhabitants were curtailed and Afrikaner minority rule was maintained. Apartheid was developed after World War II by the Afrikaner-dominated National Party and Broederbond organisations and was practised also in South West Africa, which was administered by South Africa under a League of Nations mandate (revoked in 1966 via United Nations Resolution 2145), until it gained independence as Namibia in 1990. By extension, the term is nowadays currently used for every kind of segregation, established by the state authority in a country, against the social and civil rights of a certain group of citizens, due to ethnic prejudices. Racial segregation in South Africa began in colonial times under Dutch rule. Apartheid as an officially structured policy was introduced following the general election of 1948. Legislation classified inhabitants into four racial groups, "black", "white", "coloured", and "Indian", with Indian and coloured divided into several sub-classifications, and residential areas were segregated. From 1960 to 1983, 3.5 million non-white South Africans were removed from their homes, and forced into segregated neighbourhoods, in one of the largest mass removals in modern history. Non-white political representation was abolished in 1970, and starting in that year black people were deprived of their citizenship, legally becoming citizens of one of ten tribally based self-governing homelands called bantustans, four of which became nominally independent states. The government segregated education, medical care, beaches, and other public services, and provided black people with services inferior to those of white people.

Apartheid sparked significant internal resistance and violence, and a long arms and trade embargo against South Africa. Since the 1950s, a series of popular uprisings and protests was met with the banning of opposition and imprisoning of anti-apartheid leaders. As unrest spread and became more effective and militarised, state organisations responded with repression and violence. Along with the sanctions placed on South Africa by the international community, this made it increasingly difficult for the government to maintain the regime. The role of Britain in the emerging of apartheid is often ignored. However it was a British man who played a key role in taking away the rights of black and coloured people. It was not Hendrik Verwoerd, but Cecil Rhodes who constructed the first segregation law. Apartheid reforms in the 1980s failed to quell the mounting opposition, and in 1990 President Frederik Willem de Klerk began negotiations to end apartheid, culminating in multi-racial democratic elections in 1994, won by the African National Congress under Nelson Mandela. The vestiges of apartheid still shape South African politics and society. De Klerk began the process of dismantling apartheid with the release of Mandela's mentor and several other political prisoners in October 1989. Although the official abolition of apartheid occurred in 1991 with repeal of the last of the remaining apartheid laws, nonwhites were not allowed to vote until 1993 and the end of apartheid is widely regarded as arising from the 1994 democratic general elections.

- http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Apartheid


I also mentioned that I am an Afrikaner, so here then a description of what an Afrikaner is:

Afrikaners are a Southern African ethnic group descended from predominantly Dutch settlers first arriving in the seventeenth and eighteenth centuries. They have traditionally dominated South Africa's politics and agriculture. Some of the more common Afrikaner surnames include Botha, Pretorius, and van der Merwe.

Afrikaans, South Africa's third most widely spoken home language, is the mother tongue of Afrikaners and most Cape Coloureds. The dialect evolved from the Dutch vernacular of medieval Brabant, mixed with English and German. It also incorporates words brought from Indonesia and Madagascar by slaves.
Afrikaners make up approximately 5.2% of the total South African population based on the number of white South Africans who speak Afrikaans as a first language in the South African National Census of 2011.

The term "Afrikaner" presently denotes the politically, culturally, and socially dominant Germanic group among white South Africans, or the Afrikaans-speaking populace of Netherlands Dutch origin - although their original progenitors also included Flemish, French Huguenot, and German immigrants as well. Historically, the terms "burgher" and "Boer" have both been used to describe white Afrikaans speakers as a group; neither is particularly objectionable but Afrikaner has been considered a more appropriate term.

- http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Afrikaner


In my next post I will be starting to share my journey of living as a white Afrikaans girl in South Africa.

See you there!
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