Blaž's Journey to Life

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Blaž Cegnar
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Re: Blaž's Journey to Life

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Day 43 - Directed by emotions and feelings
(My day 42 blog is in Slovenian.)

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to give into energies/feelings and chase them to get the experience. I realize that by doing so I give energies/feelings more value than Life itself where I separate myself from Life and abuse myself as Life. When and as I see myself giving into energies/feelings and wanting to chase them - I stop and breathe. I commit myself to immediately remove all desires for chasing energies/feelings and wants to experience them with self-forgiveness and self corrective application.


I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to give into the feeling of excitement/arousal when and as I see an 'attractive' woman. I realize and understand that with this I give more value to energy as excitement/arousal than Life and abuse myself as Life. When and as I see myself wanting to give into the excitement/arousal when and as I see an 'attractive' woman - I stop and breath. I commit myself to remove all desires/wants for excitement/arousal when and as I see an 'attractive' woman and not follow the energy but stand for Life and direct myself in common sense.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to look for company/attention/comfort/acceptance from others. I realize I search for this as I do not give it to myself. When and as I see myself looking for company/attention/comfort/acceptance from others - I stop and breathe. I commit myself to immediately remove all points of searching for company/attention/comfort/acceptance from others with self-forgiveness and self-correction and by bringing myself here through breath.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to direct myself according to my feelings/emotions instead of common sense. I realize that with this I give energy as emotions/feelings more value than Life and so abuse Life. When and as I see myself making decision based on emotion/feelings - I stop and breathe. I commit myself to not base my decisions on emotions/feelings and remove all such points/reactions through writing, self-forgiveness and self-correction and I commit myself to make direct myself and make decisions based on common sense and what is best for all Life.

I forgive myself for not accepting and allowing myself to commit to myself to stop all desires/wants/needs for chasing/experiencing energies as feelings and emotions. I realize and understand that whenever I allow myself to have emotions/feelings I separate myself from myself and all that is here as Life and abuse Life. When and as I see myself desiring/wishing/wanting to chase/experience energies as feelings/emotions - I stop and breathe. I commit myself to remove all desires/wants/needs for chasing/experiencing energies through writing, self-forgiveness and applying self-correction where I do not follow such desires/wants/needs but direct myself here in the breath to stand as Life and do what is best for all.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to want to please others in order to get them to like me and give me attention to validate myself through it. I realize that I do this because I do not give myself attention. When and as I see myself wanting to please others in order to get them to like me - I stop and I breathe. I commit myself to remove all wants/desires to please others with self-forgiveness and self-corrective application and give attention to myself.

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Blaž Cegnar
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Joined: 13 Jun 2011, 20:36

Re: Blaž's Journey to Life

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Commitment and agreement with myself and my partner
I am writing this commitment as an agreement with myself to walk the process of birthing myself as Life and aligning myself to what is best for all, through writing, self-forgiveness and self-corrective application, together with Hilda as my partner and to not allow any back-doors that would break this agreement with myself and my partner.
When and as I see myself looking for back-doors to not stand by my agreement with myself and my partner - I stop and breath. I commit myself to immediately remove all points of looking for back-doors with self-forgiveness and self-correction.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to fear to make an agreement with my partner because I fear that the past will repeat itself and out of fear that my partner will want to control me. When and as I see myself fearing of my partner wanting to have control over me - I stop and I breathe. I realize and understand that this fear comes from the fear of not being able to live out the energies of having sex with other women. I commit myself to remove all wishes/wants/desire of having sex with other women with self-forgiveness and self-correction.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to wish/want/desire to be with my ex-partner and to allow this point to exist as a backdoor within and as myself. I realize that with this I compromise myself by trying to avoid taking complete self-responsibility for myself and my agreements/commitments. When and as I see myself looking for back-doors in order to not follow my commitments/agreements - I stop and breathe. I immediately apply self-forgiveness and self-correction through breathing and directing myself according to my agreements and commitments to myself and my partner.

I commit myself to openly discuss any points/reactions that come up within myself or my partner and not hide them and or be judgmental about them.

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Blaž Cegnar
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Re: Blaž's Journey to Life

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Day 48 - Relationships
My 'Day 47' blog post is in Slovene.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to wish/want/desire to meet/talk to my friends and people I know out of fear that I will lose the help/attention/validation/consolation from them if I do not and within this I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to fear that they will start to resent me. I realize that I fear not being in contact with my friends and people I know because I am afraid of being with myself alone and taking complete self responsibility for myself and so I use my friends and people I know to run away from myself and try to get comfort, safety, help and support from them, instead of giving this to myself. When and as I see myself wanting to meet with friends and people I know out of a wish/want/desire to get attention/validation/comfort/safety/help and support, instead of writing out my fears/desires and applying self-forgiveness and self-correction - I stop and breathe. I commit myself to remove all wishes/wants/desires to run away from myself by meeting/talking to my friends and people I know in order to get comfort from them, by applying self-forgiveness and directing myself in breath and not allowing fears/emotions to move me.


I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to feel guilty and to blame myself for how I behaved in my relationship with my ex-girlfriend and because of this believe that I owe to support her and also I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to wish/want/desire to redeem myself by helping/meeting with/talking with her whenever she asks me to and also I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to wish/want/desire to do her favors in order to ensure myself help/attention/validation from her in the future in case if I need it. I realize that I am with this trying to get the feeling of safety through using others instead of taking complete responsibility for myself, also I realize that when I interact and build my relationships with others out of fear/emotions/desires, I only consider myself and my self interest and so I create/allow abuse, therefore I commit myself to write out and self-forgive all points where I interact with my ex-girlfriend or others out of fear/emotions/self-interest and direct myself in breath to create relationships based on common sense and what is best for all.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to react with anger and to feel controlled/limited whenever my partner reacts to the point of me talking/meeting with my ex-girlfriend and/or prohibits me to talk/meet with her or any other of my friends or people I know. I realize and understand that I react with anger and feeling of control because I believe that I have the right to talk to/meet with whomever I want while not considering the point that my partner reacts this way because she doesn't trust me that I will stand and not fall for my emotions/feelings, which is a consequence of me doing this in the past. I realize that me reacting to this and the fact that my partner does not trust me will not change anything and that I cannot make or convince anyone to trust me. Therefore I commit myself to walk my process of self-correction and stand through time in common sense and what is best for all by not allowing myself to be directed by my emotions/feelings and so stabilize myself to always be here in the breath and so my surroundings will also become more stable.

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Blaž Cegnar
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Re: Blaž's Journey to Life

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Day 49 - Perceiving friends/family as special

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to define/perceive my parents, friends, ex-partner, partner as my family and in this define them as special and within this I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to feel positive/safe/secure/like home/like I belong to something/like I am a part of something when I am with the people I define/perceive as my family/friends and on the other side I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to feel negative/unsafe/insecure/like I am alone and not part of anything when I am with people that I do not define/perceive as my family/friends. I realize that as I define only some people as my family/friends and see them as more than others I create this polarity within myself where I experience myself positively when being with them and negatively when I am not with them and so only seek to be with 'friends' to get the positive experience and within this fear of losing this experience if I am not able to be with them. I commit myself to no longer define/perceive my parents, friends, ex-partner, partner as my family and/or special people and to immediately remove all definitions/perceptions of seeing people differently through writing/self-forgiveness and direct myself in breath to stand/interact with all people equally the way I would like to be treated according to what is best for all.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to believe in/give value to reactions of thoughts/emotions within myself of thinking/believing that my parents/friends/ex-partner/partner are special people to which I belong and within this I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to wish/want/desire to be with them in order to compensate my negative emotions of loneliness/fear of being self-responsible/sadness when I am not with them. I commit myself to not think/believe/perceive that there are special people in this world to whom I belong to which I call my family/friends and to not give value to any reactions of feeling lonely/alone/like I do not belong/sad or to any desires/wishes/wants to be with those whom I define special/as friends/family and to remove all such reactions through writing/self-forgiveness and direct myself in breath within the realization that all that is here is a part of a family which I belong to in oneness and equality and so it is pointless and an illusion of the mind to define any person/part of this existence as special/more than/less than any other person/part of this existence as this only creates separation, where I feel positive when with people/parts of existence that I define/perceive special/more than and negative when I am not with people/parts of existence that I define/perceive as not special.

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Blaž Cegnar
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Re: Blaž's Journey to Life

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Day 50 - Hiding behind friendships
I can see how I have built my relationships with friends, partners and others based on fear of survival and fear of being alone, the last actually being fear of having to face myself alone and take complete self-responsibility for myself. People do that all the time, we start to define those who we build relationships with as special and more important than other people because we gain or fulfill a particular self-interest through them, like getting validation, feeling of safety or some other positive feeling that we create for ourselves when we are with our 'special' friends in order to compensate for our negative emotions and experiences that we create for ourselves when we perceive ourselves as lonely and feel sad, depressed, helpless, unwanted... Within this we give away our self-responsibility to take care of ourselves and be happy and fulfilled when we are with ourselves alone and so we constantly seek company/friends to hide from ourselves while in their company and so as we seek to be accepted from them, we allow the abuse and ignorance that is happening among friends, where all more or less just look for validation from each other and a positive feeling/experience through talking with each other, supporting each others self-interested personalities and ignoring the fact that we all have to actually practically change ourselves and work together in order to create a system that is Best for All, such as the Equal Money Capitalism.



I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to wish/want/desire to know what my ex-partner and friends are doing and within this I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to use this as an excuse to be able to meet them. When and as I see myself wishing/wanting/desiring to know what my ex-partner and friends are doing - I stop and I breathe. I realize that within giving into these desires I give into fears of being alone and being completely self-responsible and also into fear of not being able to get positive feelings of comfort/safety/validation/being part of a group. I commit myself to not accept and allow the desires/wishes/wants of knowing what my ex-partner and friends are doing and to also find and remove all points with which I trigger these reactions in me.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to within seeing a picture or remembering my ex-partner and friends to immediately react with fear of loneliness and with sadness and to within this wish/want/desire to visit them and be with them in order to try and compensate for the negative emotions I just created with positive emotions I would create within myself when I would meet them. When and as I see myself seeing a picture or remembering my ex-partner and friends - I stop and breathe. I realize that I myself am responsible for creating these fears and desires within myself that I experience as negative and then go into sadness, loneliness and seek compensation, instead of not allowing myself to create these energetic polarities within myself in the first place. I commit myself to no more create and go into fear and feelings of loneliness and sadness and then desire to meet my ex-partner and friends whenever I see a picture of her/them or remember her/them, instead I direct myself in breath and state: "No, I will not accept and allow myself to experience fear, loneliness or sadness in relation to my ex-partner and friends as this is not who I am and not who and how I want to be and exist/experience myself."

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to wish/want/desire to be popular/desired/respected/remembered and cared for by my friends so that I would have help and support when I need it and to within this give into my fear of being alone and completely self-responsible to take care for myself. When and as I see myself wishing/wanting/desiring to be popular/desires/respected/remembered and cared for by my friends - I stop and I breathe. I realize that I am giving into the fear of taking complete self responsibility for myself and so I commit myself to stop all fears of taking complete self-responsibility for myself and taking care for myself and to stop all wishes/wants/desires to be popular/desired/respected/remembered and cared for by my friends as I with this only support my belief that I um unable to take care of myself and be happy with myself without others, which is just an energetic illusion of thoughts/feelings that I created in myself and so I commit myself to not accept and allow these fears self-responsibility and desires for friends to exist within myself as this is not who I really am or how I want to be/exist and experience myself.

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Blaž Cegnar
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Re: Blaž's Journey to Life

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Day 52 - Wanting others to think good about me
Day 51 is in Slovene

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to wish/want/desire that my friends would think good about me so that I could have them as safety and backup, so that they would accept me and validate me and help me whenever I would perceive myself as unsafe and incapable of helping and supporting myself. When and as I see myself wishing/wanting desiring that my friends would think good about me - I stop and breathe. I realize that I am with this looking for back-doors where I could hide from myself and avoid my self-responsibility to direct myself and deal with myself through writing and self-forgiveness. I commit myself to stop wishing/wanting/desiring my friends to think good about me and like me and instead direct myself in breath.


I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to define 'friend' as someone who I know, like and am familiar with and feel comfortable with and also I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to create a positive experience/feeling of comfort/safety, acceptance/validation withing myself when I am around 'friends', where I then allow this feelings to direct me instead of me directing myself in breath. When and as I see myself defining friends as people who I know, like and am familiar with and feel comfortable with and wish/want/desire to be with them - I stop and breathe. I realize that I am creating a mind polarity where I feel positive when with friends and negative when I am not with them and/or perceive myself as alone, therefore I commit myself to stop wishing/wanting/desiring for the positive experience of safety/acceptance/validation/comfort with my 'friends' as I realize and understand that with this I also create the negative experience of loneliness where I feel negative/sad/depressed/helpless/unwanted when not with them.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to wish/want/desire to validate myself through other people where I would feel positive/better about myself when others think good about me and negative about myself when others think bad about me. When and as I see myself wishing/wanting/desiring to validate myself through other people - I stop and breathe. I realize that I am creating a mind polarity of feeling good about myself when I perceive myself as being accepted/validated by others and bad about myself when I perceive that I am being rejected and not liked by others. I commit myself to stop wishing/wanting/desiring to validate myself through others and direct myself in breath.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to wish/want/desire to show care for others and to please them so that they would think good about me and me back whenever I would need it. When and as I see myself wishing/wanting/desiring to show care for others and please them so that they would like me and think good about me - I stop and breathe. I realize that I am doing this in self-interest and fear of complete self-responsibility and so I commit myself to stop wishing/wanting/desiring to show care for others and please them so that they would like me, instead I direct myself in breath and according to what is best for all.

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Blaž Cegnar
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Re: Blaž's Journey to Life

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Day 56 - Perception of fun and living vs wasting one's life
Day 55 is in Slovene.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to define living and being alive as having fun and within this to define not living and wasting ones life as not having fun, where I have defined 'having fun' as:

- meeting new people and having lots of friends
- doing activities together with friends, like sports, parties, travel, talking, playing games, going out, hanging around, exploring something new to do
- doing something that I define as interesting, exciting, exhilarating or where I experience myself as having a positive feeling while doing it


I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to define 'having fun' as meeting new people and having lots of friends and also to define wasting my life as being alone, not meeting people and having no friends. I realize that I am within this participating in an energetic polarity where I try to meet new people and have lots of friends in order to experience myself as 'having fun' and not wasting my life, instead of stopping to participate in this energetic pattern. I commit myself to stop defining and connecting 'having fun' and living as meeting new people and having lots of friends to hang with and to stop experiencing myself as 'not having fun' and wasting my life when I am not meeting new people and have no friends and to instead direct myself here in the breath to do what is best for all.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to define 'having fun' as doing activities together with friends, like sports, parties, travel, talking, playing games, going out, hanging around and exploring something new to do and also on the flip side to define 'wasting my life' as being alone and not doing activities with friends, like parties, travel, talking, playing games and being inside and not going out, not hanging with friends and others and not finding something new to do. I realize that I am within this participating in a mind polarity where I would define certain activities and experiences as fun and connect them with living and not wasting ones life and others as not fun and would connect them with wasting one's life and would so experience myself as if I am wasting my life and start to live and be-lie-ve this experience, instead of realizing and understanding that while I am participating in this pattern of my mind/ego, I am actually missing what is important and actually real as life here in this physical reality. Therefore I commit myself to no more define Life and living as 'having fun' as I defined it and to stop participating in this pattern of wishing, wanting and desiring to 'have fun' and to instead actually focus on what is here in every moment and direct myself in breath and self-honesty and do what is best for all, so that we can fix this reality by stopping all the abuse and addiction to energy, emotions and feelings and create a world where all Life is supported equally so that we can all enjoy Life in the best way possible.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to define 'having fun' as doing something that I define and experience as interesting, exciting, exhilarating or where I experience myself as having a positive feeling while doing it. I realize that within this I participate within an energetic polarity where I define certain activities as positive, interesting, exciting, exhilarating and others as negative and boring and so I try to avoid the latter, instead of stopping participating in the pattern and removing the energetic polarity experience of myself within this. I commit myself to no more define 'having fun' as doing something where I experience myself as being interested, excited and exhilarated, instead I remove all definitions and positive or negative energetic attachments to activities and direct myself here in the breath to do what is best for all Life, so that we can stop the abuse as soon as possible and create a world where all Life is supported equaly and in the best way possible.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to define and connect positive experiences and feelings with having fun and living and negative experiences and emotions with wasting my life and to within this try to avoid the latter instead of stopping the pattern of creating and participating the polarity energetic experiences within myself. I commit myself to all the patterns where I define experiences as positive or negative until I am always the same here in the breath, directing myself the way that is best for all Life.

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Blaž Cegnar
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Re: Blaž's Journey to Life

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Dan 128 - Pohlep ne bo kar sam izginil


Pohlep je želja po več, ne glede na dejanske potrebe in posledice naših želja. Pohlep je hkrati občutek, kjer se najprej počutimo manjvredni, prikrajšani, nezadovoljeni in pohlep je občutek zadovoljstva, večvrednosti, zmage, začasne potešenosti, ko dobimo to, kar hočemo, čeprav tega v resnici ne potrebuje. Pohlepa se naučimo že kot otroci, ko se ne-zavedajoč lastnih občutkov poskušamo počutiti bolje, bolj vznemirjeno, bolj veselo, kadar recimo dobimo novo igračo, kadar dobimo sladkarije itd. Skratka, ko dobimo to, kar hočemo, brez da bi pri tem upoštevali dejanski izvor naše želje in brez da bi se zavedali posledic, ki jih naša hotenja imajo na okolje. Res potrebujemo še eno sladkarijo, še eno igračo? V veliki večini primerov ne. Zakaj pa potem tako na vso moč skušamo zmanipulirati starše in druge, da bi zadostili svojim hotenjem? Ker se ravnamo po občutkih, namesto po zdravi pameti. Ker nam pač ni nihče razložil in ker se sami tudi nismo nikoli vprašali, od kod za vraga občutki sploh pridejo in zakaj. Vsi smo kdaj pohlepni, eni bolj, drugi manj, odvisno od okoliščin in zmožnosti. Vsi zaradi teh občutkov posledično uničujemo planet, ker se ravnamo po občutkih in ne po zdravem razumu. Vzroke pohlepa moramo odstraniti. Spoznati in razumeti moramo občutke, ki nas vodijo v pohlep in jih odstraniti, da se bomo lahko ravnali po zdravem razumu in nikomur v škodo. Pohlep je nedopusten, ker z njim zlorabljamo življenje, ker z njim gledamo le nase in na svojo korist. V pohlepu hočemo več samo zase, čeprav ničesar več ne potrebujemo za dostojno življenje. S tem pa onemogočamo dostojno življenje drugim, katerim jemljemo, samo zase, ker pač sledimo svojim občutkom, namesto da bi dali vsem to, kar vsi potrebujemo za dostojno življenje. Vsakdo, ki ne more živeti dostojno, je žrtev pohlepa vseh nas, ker vsi mislimo le nase in na svoja hotenja, namesto da bi odpravili pohlep in dajali drugim tako, kot želimo sami prejeti. Vsi želimo dostojno živeti, zato moramo dostojno življenje vsem zagotoviti. Tega pa s pohlepom ni moč doseči.

Odpustim si, da sem sprejel in si dovolil biti pohlepen in hoteti še več in še več, za to da bi se bolje počutil, da bi bil bolj zadovoljen, da bi čutil več, da bi se počutil več-vredno, da bi se počutil kot zmagovalec, da bi potešil svoja hotenja, brez da bi se sploh vprašal, če je moja želja/hotenje realno in objektivno in odraža nekaj, kar resnično potrebujem za dostojno življenje, ali je zgolj ideja v moji glavi, ki ji sledim zgolj zaradi občutka, ki jo spremlja. Spoznal sem in zavedam se, da se pogosto ravnam po občutkih pohlepa, namesto da bi odpravil energetske občutke v sebi in se usmerjal v dihu po zdravem razumu. Ko opazim in se zavem, da se ravnam po občutkih pohlepa - se ustavim in diham. Obvezujem se, da pri odločanju ne bom sledil občutkom pohlepa in da bom vsak tak občutke odstranil s samo-odpuščanjem in se usmeril v dihu po zdravem razumu.

Odpustim si, da sem sprejel in si dovolil slediti občutku pohlepa po zmagi, kjer si želim doseči zmage zato, da bi se počutil bolje, več-vredno.
Odpustim si, da sem sprejel in si dovolil občutek zmage definirati kot nekaj pozitivnega in dobrega zame, namesto da bi spoznal, da s sledenjem temu občutku vidim le sebe in svojo željo po občutku zmage na račun drugih, s čimer zlorabljam druge, ker ne upoštevam zdravega razuma. Obvezujem se, da bom vsako težnjo po občutku zmage takoj ustavil z dihanjem in samo-odpuščanjem in se usmeril po zdravem razumu.

Odpustim si, da sem sprejel in si dovolil biti pohlepen, ko jem hrano samo zato, da bi se bolje počutil in ne zato, ker bi bil lačen. Ko opazim in se zavem, da želim nekaj pojesti, predvsem kaj sladkega, zato da bi se bolje počutil in ne zato, ker sem lačen - se ustavim in diham. Zavedam se, da s tem ne bom odpravil svojih negativnih občutkov. Namesto tega se obvezujem, da bom takoj raziskal vzroke za negativne občutke, ki jih želim prikriti in spremeniti v dobre skozi uživanje hrane in sladkarij in jih odpravil s samo-dopuščanjem ter se usmeril v dihu po zdravem razumu.

Odpustim si, da sem sprejel in si dovolil biti pohlepen pri igranju iger, da bi se bolje počutil in prikril nelagodje in slabe občutke. Zavedam se, da s tem ne bom odpravil slabih občutkov. Ko opazim in se zavem, da želim igrati igre zato, da bi se bolje počutil - se ustavim in diham. Obvezujem se, da bom takoj raziskal vzroke za svoje slabe občutke in jih odpravil s samo-odpuščanjem in se usmeril v dihu po zdravem razumu.


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