Josh's Journey to Life

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josh
Posts: 571
Joined: 15 Aug 2011, 02:39

Re: Josh's Journey to Life

Postby josh » 24 Feb 2019, 00:46

https://jprocessr.blogspot.com/2019/02/ ... s-and.html

Day 413 - Directing the point of laziness and procrastination
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to, go into the procrastination character, and say within and as myself where I think "I can do that later" or "I don't feel like it now" and react in fear to the idea belief and perception that I may be missing out on something other than getting the task done.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to trap myself in the "now" of consciousness of which is the past / living in the past when and as I procrastinate / put a task off for a later time that can be done now.

I forgive myself that I have not allowed myself to see, realize, and understand that when I "procrastinate" I am existing in the past which connects me to the "now" of the unified consciousness field, instead of being here as breath and acting in the moment, clear stable, constant, and here - doing what it is that needs to be done, in real time - so that I am always thus living in the moment, here, moving to the next thing that needs to be done.

I forgive myself that I have not allowed myself, to see, realize, and understand that what heppens when I procrastinate habitually, as the development of me as procrastination, is that a relationship formation is designed within and as my mind of which infuses into and as my physical body which then designs the experience and feeling of laziness of which I then become addicted to creating me as lazy through habitual procrastination.

I forgive myself that I have not allowed myself to see, realize, and understand that laziness is a feeling that is created and developed by my participation and relationship with procrastination - thus I create myself as addicted to the energetic experience / feeling of laziness and as lazy through habitual procrastination.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to be addicted / create an addition to being lazing and the energetic feeling of being lazy.

I forgive myself that I have not allowed myself to see, realize, and understand that the consequential outflow of procrastination is laziness that I then become addicted to as like a junkie.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to participate in thoughts like / in the though "I'll do that later / I dont feel like it / I will miss out on something" and then even go into the mind fuck that there is some other thing out there to do that will bring me happiness and satisfaction and thus procrastinate - instead of realizing that all that I am seeking is the energetic feeling of doing nothing / procrastinating / being lazy.

I commit myself to will myself to walk through the resistance / the drug of the mind / the energetic feeling of resistance as the addiction to the feeling of laziness that has become me - through reminding myself that I am only experiences feelings and emotions of energy that are not real and that if I accept and allow this to exist within and as me and act on it, that I then enslave myself to the "now" of consciousness with equals living in the past where I am lost and abused / self abused by me as my mind.

I forgive myself that I have not allowed myself to see, realize, and understand that if something comes to my awareness that it needs to be done and I become irritated, frustrated, and go into resistance to that point by making justifications as to why I cannot move myself to do it in the moment / or schedule the appropriate moment with follow through - that this is the effectual side effect of living laziness in the past which comes from the source point - procrastination.

I commit myself to will myself in "moments" to stand up and get do the task at hand and stop my participation in the mind saying to my self, if necessary "no. this resistance / irritation / justification / frustration to moving myself in the moment to get something done is "not me" / no who I am as the physical and NOT real - but only an energetic experience as a mind-fuck - thus supporting myself to transcend the drug of the mind as laziness.

I commit myself to take self-responsibility and self discipline for myself in every moment as the breath of Life and direct what is needed to be done immediately or planning ahead with absolute follow-through until it is done both in my life as survival here in this system as it exists today and also in and as my walk / process of stopping the mind, breath-by-breath, with application and follow through thus birthing myself as life until it is done.

I commit myself to walk, breath by breath, through the resistance of laziness to stop my participation in thoughts and feelings as they come up through slowing myself down as breath / through breathing here as the physical where I continually ground myself and am no longer / and less and less overtime in the mind as the mind, but here standing as Life.

I commit myself to no longer accept and allow the mind to suppress me / suppress my expression as who I am as being-ness / the physical / as Life through my accepting and allowing self abuse as giving in to the energetic experience of laziness - by stopping my participation in and as procrastination each and every time it comes up until I am clear, stable, and here moving always here / never living in and as the past.



josh
Posts: 571
Joined: 15 Aug 2011, 02:39

Re: Josh's Journey to Life

Postby josh » 26 Feb 2019, 15:54

https://jprocessr.blogspot.com/2019/02/ ... anger.html

Day 414 - The Geometry of Anger
Consciousness only exists within and as triangle formations, of knowledge and information: "2 or three in my name and there I am"
So, with anger, you have:
1. embarrassment or shame as one point, + 2. blame = a combustion point where energy is produced as anger.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to exist as the geometrical consciousness formation of anger which is a product of blame and embarrassment / shame.
I forgive myself that when and as a self responsible being taking responsibility in every "here" moment as breath that I manifest shame and embarrassment as consciousness within and as myself of which sets me up for an emotional reaction of and as anger.
I forgive myself that I have not allowed myself to see, realize, and understand that blame is a form of suppression where I avoid taking responsibility for myself, in every moment of breath.
I forgive myself that I have not allowed myself to see, realize, and understand that when I react in anger that I also create the illusion of empowerment, which has its source point in that I feel dis-empowered in that moment of reaction in and as anger.
I forgive myself that I have not allowed myself to see, realize, and understand that every moment that I miss a "here" breath and go into the mind as consciousness - that I am abdicating my self responsibility as Life and thus I am abusing Life as a a consequence - and that this accumulates as shame and guilt to a point that finally erupts as anger.
I forgive myself that when and as I am irritated, annoyed, or frustrated that I am in effect blaming others for what I am not taking self responsibility for.
I commit myself to support myself to stop my anger reactions through taking self responsibility in every moment of breath to live as who I am of Life / of the physical so as to support me to walk without shame and guilt and blame and dis-empowerment of which fuel and charge anger.



Marlen
Posts: 4354
Joined: 12 Jun 2011, 20:16
Contact:

Re: Josh's Journey to Life

Postby Marlen » 28 Feb 2019, 19:43

Hi Josh, so a suggestion is to actually walk the situation that you're facing and applying the Self Forgiveness for the elements that created the anger in itself, to see what the situation was in fact about, so that you get to see the substance of what got you to create such embarrassment in the first place, which in itself is a point that can be opened alone.

Anger is then mostly the consequence or outflow of deeper issues that you may be overlooking when only focusing on 'stopping anger' - but there's much more beyond 'anger' in itself which is like the tip of the iceberg only, so that's the suggestion

Also suggest to check out yesterday's public chat on an explanation of how we may be 'missing the mark' on something we are aiming to change and how to approach it: How to stop missing the mark when changing habits



josh
Posts: 571
Joined: 15 Aug 2011, 02:39

Re: Josh's Journey to Life

Postby josh » 10 Mar 2019, 17:00

https://jprocessr.blogspot.com/2019/03/ ... ntion.html

Day 415 - Intention
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to justify not doing something in the moment that I see that it needs to be done though the design of intention.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to procrastinate through the justification of intention / intending to do or attain something in the future. Within this, I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to design myself as lazy through intention and then procrastination, of which accumulates through my participation into and and as an energetic / emotional experience of laziness, that I then become addicted to.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to use excuses and justifications like "I intend to do this but not now / I plan on attaining this later" instead of moving / willing myself to do something immediately when and as I see that it needs to be done, in the moment of breath.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to lock myself into the future through intention / intending to do something / attain something in the future, instead of doing it in the moment of breath when and as I see that it needs to be done / attained.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to lock myself into a future placement of myself with what I "intend" to do, be, or become in the future.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to lock myself into a future relationship with myself within my participation in my mind as intention / intending to do, be, or become, or attain something in the future. Within this, I forgive myself that I have not allowed myself to see, realize, and understand that my "intent" is thus my relationship between myself and the future, which supports me as consciousness, in separation.
I forgive myself that I have not allowed myself to see, realize, and understand that "intention" is not an expression of support of self as "here", as moment, as breath - because intention locks me into a future relationship with myself within in and as my mind / my mind consciousness system, which causes limitation and control within and as the experience of myself in my world because through my relationship with intention / intending to do something in the future - I thus become separated from what is here as myself in every moment of breath, and then can only see what I plan on doing / being / attaining / becoming in the future within and as the pictures that exist in my mind.
I forgive myself that I have not allowed myself to see, realize, and understand that when and as I accept and allow myself to go into the design of intention that I enslave myself to the future and past and thus support myself as the mind, enslaving me to my mind.
I forgive myself that I have not allowed myself to see, realize, and understand that intention is of separation - because when and as I accept and allow myself to go into the design of intention / intending to do something / be something / attain something in the future - I thus exist in a future projection of myself as pictures and ideas that exist in my mind, instead of being here as the breath in every moment of breath.
I forgive myself that I have not allowed myself to see, realize, and understand that the design of intention places me in a controlled, limited, tunnel vision placement of myself in and as my mind, in separation.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to go into the design of intention because I fear not being able to do something that I would rather do / experience myself as in the moment. Thus, I forgive myself that I have not allowed myself to see, realize, and understand that fear of loss / fear of missing out is the negative polarity equation that motivates me to go into the design of intention.
I forgive myself that I have not allowed myself to see, realize, and understand that through my participation in fear of loss and fear of missing out, as if it were real, I am thus creating myself as loss and missing out because I am enslaving of myself to my mind as fear, and losing and missing-out on myself as Life, as the breath of Life.
I commit myself to thus, when and as I see that something needs to be done - to move myself in the moment of breath, to do it immediately / to get it done.
I commit myself to stop any and all participation in thoughts such as "I intend / will do this / attain this / become this later / in the future by, through, and as the utilization of the practical tool as support of the breath wherein I STOP these thoughts in one breath - by aligning myself within and as the breath, as the awareness of the breath as me here.
I commit myself to thus act immediately to get something done unless it is not practically feasible to do it immediately. However, I commit myself to be self-honest in discerning what is immediately practically feasible to do and what is not in the moment that I see that it needs to be done using self honesty, common sense, and basic math in the moment of breath.
I commit myself to thus set a date in the future to do something only when the math and common sense within and as self-honesty says that it cannot immediately be done and to thus do it in immediately when that future moment arises.
When and as I see myself going into the design of intention, I commit myself, to remember in one breath my self forgiveness here, and then say "I stop - I am not this design". Then I direct myself to get what needs to be done immediately within and as the moment of breath as a means of support for me to live as Life here in every moment of breath, and to be as effective as possible in my application of which is best for all.







Marlen
Posts: 4354
Joined: 12 Jun 2011, 20:16
Contact:

Re: Josh's Journey to Life

Postby Marlen » 21 Mar 2019, 18:17

hey Josh! Remember to copy+paste the text here so that there is the direct text to read on and perhaps comment on without having to go into the link.

I read the word regret and what came up is, definitely cool to self forgive what was or wasn't done... but ultimately it can be a simple reminder to stop looking back to 'what was or wasn't but use this moment as the opportunity to live through and give the 'breath of life' to the words that you see are best for you to live in that moment... that to me is then the living of self forgiveness so yes, very much aligned with

"When and as I see myself going into the point of regret, I stop and breathe. I look at this as an opportunity to source out another character that I am living in separation from what is actually here as the physical - that I can then stop so as to align myself within and as the main character that is my flesh.
"

Now it's up to you to define and decide which words do you want to incarnate as your flesh, redefining your beingness in that moment and placing it into practice. For that, I recommend checking out all the SOUL videos for example that have also been posted in this forum for reference of the timeline - or directly on YouTube - so that you know how to best direct yourself in those moments, make decisions of who you want to live and become.

ok Thanks for sharing



josh
Posts: 571
Joined: 15 Aug 2011, 02:39

Re: Josh's Journey to Life

Postby josh » 22 Mar 2019, 13:01

https://jprocessr.blogspot.com/2019/03/ ... ction.html

Day 420 - Addiction
Today is 4/20 - a notorious day for marijuana. Thus, I will give my tribute to marijuana and all drugs for that matter today. Here's to you, drugs:

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to create and build synchronized relationships within and as my mind, with substances such as alcohol and drugs, as addictions where I believe that "I cannot live without them", thereby charging up my mind.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that if I do not have drugs and alcohol in my life, that then I will not be fully living. Within this, I forgive myself that I have not allowed myself to see, realize, and understand that what won't be fully living without drugs and alcohol is my mind, as it needs relationships with things outside of itself to feel alive.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to subject myself to the highs and lows of drug addiction, believing that this is "real living" and that I "feel alive". Within this, I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to chase after the experience of "feeling alive".
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to build up the characters in my mind, letting them out of their cage, if you will, making them stronger, through getting drunk with alcohol.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to crystalize my suppressions within and as my physical body, making my suppressions part of my physical expression, thus becoming my suppressions - through my use of marijuana.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to go into the experience of boredom, believing that it is real, and then react in fear to being bored - and then go into the desire to use drugs and alcohol to make it all better.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to participate in the thought / idea / belief / perception that "life is boring without drugs and alcohol."
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that sex is better using marijuana and other drugs, not realizing that this is so because up until now, my sex life has been none other than an energetic exercise of the mind and not a real physical expression, revealing that I have yet to develop real self-intimacy.
I forgive myself that I accepted and allowed myself to justify and use drugs and alcohol for better sex.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to suppress myself using marijuana and other drugs and alcohol.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that I need to "fit in" and thus justify having even a little alcohol.
I forgive myself that I have not allowed myself to see, realize, and understand that becoming addicted and dependent on drugs and alcohol, which is forming synchronized relationships with drugs and alcohol in my mind, only shows me that I am emotional, and thus attempting to suppress my emotions and hide from myself, of which is silly because when the drugs where off, I am back to where I started but with even a bigger problem than before because the illusionary characters of my mind are even stronger than before - creating monsters and demons to deal with, as a consequence.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that I need something more than who I am and what is here as me as the breath of Life, in order to be happy and feel good.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to seek and chase after the experience of "feeling good" by using drugs and alcohol, and thus subject myself to endless cycles of feeling bad, then ok, then good, then back to bad and on and on and on until I use up my battery, which is my physical body, and then die and become nothing.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to use and abuse my physical body with drugs and alcohol as this is extra shit to deal with stressing my organs and glands and nervous system.
I commit myself to stand as life, as the breath, as the physical, here, where I do not need anything outside of myself to make me happy or feel good and to show that Life needs nothing outside of itself to be whole and complete.
I commit myself to live as the living word, where I do not seek the fulfillment of myself through outside experiences because I am already living it.
When and as I see myself going into the desire to use drugs and alcohol, I stop and I breathe. I remind myself that these desires and thoughts are not me, that I am the breath / the physical and am already living life as I am Life, and therefore there is no need to make me happy with something outside of myself such as drugs and alcohol.
I commit myself to sort out and stop the emotional nature of my mind as the characters that I have created that talk me into self sabotage, one by one and breath by breath so that I can stop E-moting once and for all and live here, as the character that is the main character as the living flesh, in need of nothing outside of self to make me happy or feel good.




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