Day 203 - Self - Pity
http://jozienf.blogspot.com/2014/01/day ... -pity.html
I am sharing here some daily writings about self- pity.
The relationship between extreme self-judgment and self- pity wasn't really that obvious for me to see. Probably one of the tricks of the mind so one will always be walking in the dark about it.
I observe self judgement already within children of an early age when they do something 'wrong' like when they are corrected in grammar or in writing some children immediately go into "Oh I am so stupid and I am really stupid" which when we as parents/teachers do not correct will accumulate into accepting judging behavior.
I see the devastating and destroying effect it has on our children and thus affects our potential, our being and living expression. Through constant attacking oneself through judgement or judging others, well it's all the same the mind doesn’t really care the energy is already created. This extreme self-attack expressed as self-judgement is like waging war against self and when we are taught to attack ourselves in our minds we will attack others as well.
So self- pity has been my greatest friend and my best pal, always available, always here for me, never asking anything and always grateful to ‘support’- NOT! Everything is reallyin reverse.
It has been my best companion when I was younger because I have been relatively alone when being a child and developed a strong relationship with this specific energy experience within and as myself.
I commit myself to assist and support self to no longer allow self to attack self through extreme self-judgment because I realise that this leads to self-pity, sabotaging self-awareness and potential that lies within that, which is behind the door of self-pity and extreme intense self -judgment.
I now realise, see and understand that behind the door of intense self judgment e.g, “I can’t ask for more because I don’t deserve more or what am I actually asking, how dare I ask so much” followed by an intense self judgment:
“I am such a fool, I'm such idiot, I reveal sooo much of myself when I ask for what I want” as a intense self-attack, self-diminishment, self inflicted waging war against self as if I am not even worthy of anything, which is really an extreme way of attacking oneself.
I realise, see and understand that I am accepting and allowing extreme self- attack to come up and exist within me connected to self-judgement, which sabotage walking through the door of Self-Pity, so self can expand and become aware to in fact see that, which is behind the intense self-attack.
When and as I see myself go into extreme self- judgement - I stop and I breathe - because I now realise, see and understand that the force of my (self) - judgement is creating a negative experience, which I want to balance out with a specific positive energy, which is connected to self pity and so keep on looping self within and as the same construct and so, I commit myself to walk through the door of self- pity to practically walk self expansion,self-awareness and thus practically engage self to walk my self- agreement into being, one step at the time.
Grateful for the interviews!
More to come
More cool reading here within the Journey to Life blogs:
Arvydas's post on Self-Pity
Gabrielle's post on Self-Pity - See more at: http://jozienf.blogspot.com/2014/01/day ... 4fMXa.dpuf