Juraj's Journey to Life

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Juraj Varga
Posts: 231
Joined: 06 Jul 2011, 20:20

Re: Juraj's Journey to Life

Postby Juraj Varga » 11 Dec 2012, 22:38

http://juraj-kess.blogspot.com/2012/12/ ... ystem.html

Day 134 : Acceptance of me as a system

By following the though I am saying: My mind tell me what I should do and I will proceed because you are my god and I will hear you, your wish is my command, keep me trapped and enslaved.

By reacting by positive feelings I am saying: The energy I experience and perceive as good and positive is my self delusion, but this is perfectly fine till this illusion will remain.

By reacting by negative emotions I am saying: My dreams, my desires, my self interest came to ruins and someone should be blamed for it, or I can blame myself and thus turn into remorse, regret and pity of myself.

By participating on back chats I am saying : I am blind and I can’t decide for myself, I need someone as self talk of the mind to came to a conclusion and thus again turn back to following of thoughts.

By repeating such actions: Thoughts, feelings, emotions, back chats, I am keeping myself trapped into never ending cycle of the same shit, sometimes with different façade as pictures around.

By stopping such actions: I am day by day more and more “amazed” how deep my self dishonesty go, how much I accepted to live as a programmed system, and how I became slave of the mind, thus less than a system.

Things are bit a more complex, but point is clear, to accept the system, or stand up for myself and free myself, and as I am walking my days, my breath became natural, I do not need to note myself each 5 minutes to breathe anymore, my days became more stable, me more stable, as I can say I had never such stability of myself, as I am facing the consequences of my past acceptances and I wanted to get out of such consequences and stop it, but that’s not possible.

I was foolish sometimes, instead of stop I created even worse consequences by wanting to get out of that what I had to face, and within this, I realized, it is always me, each moment, if I stop, or not.

I forgive to myself that I have accepted and allowed to myself to program myself through thoughts and energetic experiences of positive and negative and create within and as me patterns of my life, where repeating of this patterns I became believing that I am living, not seeing and realizing that this has nothing to do with life or living me, but just repeating of that what I accepted and allowed to program myself into and as.

I forgive to myself that I have accepted and allowed to myself to submit to a order of the mind as a voice in the head and through this voice accept myself to became the follower and submitted slave of the order of the mind, as programmed design of my speech, movement, my definitions, believes, projections, ideas, my very living, accepting to became a lie, shadow of life as parasite of physical where I managed the physical to submit to a illusion of the mind, not seeing and realizing that mind is subject to physical and not physical to the mind.

I forgive to myself that I have accepted and allowed to fear to lose my god as a mind because I defined myself as a slave as the one who need someone who will talk to him as what I will do, when and why, and thus accept to became the servant of a programmed system not seeing and realizing that I thrown away myself as life and accepted the illusion to direct me, to speak to me, instead of stop each single moment I see and realize mind is trying to talk to me.

I forgive to myself that I have accepted and allowed to became living in fear as mind is fear as mind is based on energy dependency and this energy is most effective way generated by fear, not seeing and realizing that each and any fear is illusion of the mind, to keep me trapped and enslaved.

I forgive to myself that I have accepted and allowed to fear the outcomes in the future, instead of realize that future is just consequences of my present actions, and by fearing future I am fearing myself and my present actions.

I forgive to myself that I have accepted and allowed to fear my actions and project this into the future and thus generate and accept fear within me to become my direction.

I forgive to myself that I have accepted and allowed to fear as how I will survive in the future, instead of see the solutions as common sense as how I can survive, without any fear connect, accepted and created within me as my direction.

I forgive to myself that I have accepted and allowed to accept the mind as thoughts, reactions, feeling, emotions, projections, ideas, believes, desires and thus became programmed behavioral robot as characters as false image of myself because I separated from myself through illusion of fear.

I forgive to myself that I have accepted and allowed to myself to abuse, manipulate and mislead myself because of acceptance of following the thoughts, and by this thoughts create energy experiences as positive and negative and thus became as living in polarity friction of myself, not seeing and realizing that if I stop, thus anything what moves within me is of the mind and not myself.

I forgive to myself that I have accepted and allowed to myself to think and believe that I have to be slave of the mind and fear to stop and let go the mind by breath, and utilize the breath as my stability, my presence here, and letting go of the mind as self acceptances of existing as robot.

Thanks, Juraj



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Juraj Varga
Posts: 231
Joined: 06 Jul 2011, 20:20

Re: Juraj's Journey to Life

Postby Juraj Varga » 13 Dec 2012, 22:12

http://juraj-kess.blogspot.com/2012/12/ ... i-see.html

Day 135 : To realize – Real I see

Within my process, I was falling many times, because I wanted to stand up because of comparison, information and knowledge and thus through this knowing wanting to change myself and let go the past as creation of me as a program.

Many times I has been asking myself similar questions in regards of points I fall and why, and I was like in circle of wanting to stand up, but fall, wanting to prove others, and fall, wanting to show others, but fall, wanting to save others, but fall, wanting to live me, but fall, wanting to stop the mind, but fall.

In certain period, my process became constant falling, everything I existed as was falling, falling and falling, what supported me most was my breath and self-forgiveness.

I can say, that was almost certain, that I will be no longer here, but only to my breath and self forgiveness I am able to write this, and see myself and the world therefore from very different perspective.

When I realized how much and how deep my self dishonesty go, I was like very sad from myself, as everything I became was just this being, trapped in the mind in many ways, not able to even decide one decision in self honesty.

But after many falls, I realized, very simply point, and simplicity of standing the point, that simply, I do not have to do that, what mind tells me, that I do not have to follow the ideas, projections, believes, that I do not have to think, that I do not have to believe, hope or participate on any feeling or emotion, but just only see myself, and what I do and how the way how it really is.

To see me, to see how and why I created myself as a program, is sometimes shocking, from perspective of seeing the consequences and mess of bullshits I created, and when I started to see this, I wanted simply get out of the mess I created, but I wanted to get out as the mind, and thus create even more mess for myself.

There are several points I stopped within me, and I see why I did, but thus I remained falling and falling was because of simple point – my self dishonesty and patterns I created of myself about myself and my life, how I saw myself and why.

I was not able to see how I can stand up for myself, I was not able to recognize, comprehend and realize for myself what are the points I fall and why, because of my very own dishonest nature, as simply living as the mind, as the one who needed everything what mind consist of to be able to live.

When I started to see and realize for myself, that simply I am able to stop, I start to look only to the past when I fall, and thus see only that how cool it was when I stood point and how it is fucked all when I fall the point, thus instead of seeing here what I can do, how I can do, to stand the point again and really for myself, I was in the mind only looking how fucked it is when I fall, and thus compare myself in the mind with myself in the past, and gave all attention within me to my falls and thus I became simply incapable to really work effectively on the point, to take into consideration each part of me and thus see why I fall, and utilize this fall effectively.

And because of this, some specific falls I repeated so many times, and also tried to solve so many times, that I became like completely lost in this point, instead of do the most simple thing I could, which I did finally for myself today.

To simply, place myself and everything related to this point in front of myself on the paper, and thus finally see what I became, why, and what are the secrets within me related to this point, and thus see why I keep on falling in this point.

And I realized, that I wanted to stop because of others, because of information and knowledge, because of my separation from myself, because of me lying to me, because of me hiding, because of my own self dishonesty, because of my ego, because of judgment, because of perception of me and many other points related to this.

And the most simply point was, that I did not realized, but I knew and simply, it is impossible to stand up and stop and let go, if one know, because knowing is of the mind, see and realize is self.

And the question came up one being said:

We will see who really see, I see, do you see? And this seeing that being mentioned, means to realize the truth of ourselves. And to realize the truth, one simply have to became self-honest, there is not another way.

Thanks, Juraj



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Juraj Varga
Posts: 231
Joined: 06 Jul 2011, 20:20

Re: Juraj's Journey to Life

Postby Juraj Varga » 15 Dec 2012, 12:54

http://juraj-kess.blogspot.com/2012/12/ ... nd-me.html

Day 136 : Money and me

Money and the usage of money, became the most misunderstood point within my life, and usage of money real horror in my life. Due to the lack of education from my parents, where religion brainwashing was really extensive, thus I created really terrible perception of money and myself within this world, and simply because of this I refused to take self responsibility for usage of money.

Money, and how I saw myself, people, and why, the foundation of this is my father and my mother, where I wanted to be like father and better than him, and opposite of my mother.

All other points related to perception of money, when I start to grow up was layers upon layers of bullshits and lies within me as creation of myself through acceptance of mind components.

I was many times in that position, when I perceived that I walked for myself this money point, but after all and everything the fall of myself took place, and next and another layers come up within me, another points and another self deception and my delusion in regards of seeing money.

The information and knowledge I have about money, is quite extensive, but this serve to me for nothing because it is knowledge, for myself to see and realize how, why and when and because of what I created the myself the way I did, I placed myself into a position of risking my life, and after all I see it was not necessary to go through everything I went through, but it is done and what I did and created for myself is something, no one would like to go through, as it was horror and just simply question is why?

And the very simply answer is, I didn’t walked self correction in relation of money and usage of them, as to walk self correction for myself was impossible, not matter how much self forgiveness I applied, no matter how much times I tried, I simply never walked through the door I opened for myself to free myself from this deception I created within and as me as money, because I was still looking into the past and because of this still judging myself for that what I accepted within me.

Yes, thanks self forgiveness I realized many points related to this, and one shocked me more than other, you can imagine that hundreds of self forgiveness points I applied, and when it looked I am done I fall and because of this fall I judged myself, because I was really pissed of myself and thus trapped myself into circle of applying self forgiveness, standing the point for various periods of time, and again fall, and again repeat this circle and simply, from certain perspective I am tired of this.

I see than within this point I moved forward, but still, I am not sure if this was enough for myself to finally walk through the doors I still see opened and simply close them and never look back on this door, and let this in the past as where past should remain.

This all, and everything I did because of money, simply means, that I never decided to stand up for myself in this point, as if I would, thus this words would be never written here.

The points I stand for myself, are done and I do not have to go back to that points, and this point of money, now seems to me like only point which is still here, like I gave all my attention in my mind to this point, and thus made from this point the mountain if front of myself, but not seeing and realizing the simplicity of walking this point and what I really have to do to walk self correction.

And to make from some point, the biggest point is useless, because, mountain seems to be too big to walk through, and because mountain I created in front of me, thus fear I created within me, as what if I am not able to walk through.

It is paradox, I feared what I created within me, as me, and I placed this point as more than me, thus me as inferior and thus see myself that maybe possibly I am not able to walk it.

But what is this about, to see, realize, and correct. Maybe, I finally realized and maybe I correct myself after all. Maybe, I finally really see what I created within me, and maybe finally I will walk this.

Time will show.


I forgive to myself that I have accepted and allowed to myself to see myself as loser and the one who always lose and thus separate myself from success and exist within and as mind polarity of lose / success.

I forgive to myself that I have accepted and allowed to myself to myself to separate myself from my father and see my father as superior and myself as inferior, and thus accept to live the mind design of superiority / inferiority.

I forgive to myself that I have accepted and allowed to myself to separate myself from design, systems and programs and think and believe that those are bad as those took away from myself my money and thus exist as memory of systems which are taking money away from myself in separation from myself, instead of see and realize that it was me who accepted and allowed to myself to give away my money.

I forgive to myself that I have accepted and allowed to myself to separate myself from time, as time is just flow of moments one by one.

I forgive to myself that I have accepted and allowed to myself to think and believe that I see and made money as an object of desire, in separation of myself from money as physical and thus fear money, instead of see myself and money as equal and one as physical as that what is real as paper and coins and thus use money the effective way to support myself here.

I forgive to myself that I have accepted and allowed to myself to think and believe that fear of money is real, and that I have to fear money and think and believe that money are bad.

I forgive to myself that I have accepted and allowed to myself to think and believe that I will never have money, and that money are the point god is against and that if I want to enter to heaven I have to live as poor, as loser, as the one who have nothing and only then I will be able to enter the heaven as god domain.

I forgive to myself that I have accepted and allowed to myself to think and believe that I have not had to have money because of religion brainwashing of perception of money.

I forgive to myself that I have accepted and allowed to myself to think and believe that I never have money and that I have to be poor.

I forgive to myself that I have accepted and allowed to myself to see myself through money as when I have money that I am more and when I do not that I am less and thus accept myself to live as polarity of the mind more / less.

I forgive to myself that I have accepted and allowed to myself to see having money as be free and have freedom and thus desire to get lot of money, to have a lot of money and by this desire separate myself from money.

I forgive to myself that I have accepted and allowed to myself to see myself as a slave when I do not have money and thus do things which makes from me slave of money because I saw myself that way.

I forgive to myself that I have accepted and allowed to myself to judge my father and see him as bad because he took away my money away from me and thus think and believe that always someone will took away my money and thus act, behave the way this came true, because of this believe and because I existed in fear towards the money because of believe that money will be taken away from myself by some authority.

I forgive to myself that I have accepted and allowed to myself to refuse to pay for that what I have to pay for.

I forgive to myself that I have accepted and allowed to myself to judge my father because he do not punished me when I wanted to steal in shop and when I stole money and thus think and believe that stole money is ok, because of seeing myself through punishment from my father, and thus what I was punished for see as bad and what I was not punished for see as good and ok.

I forgive to myself that I have accepted and allowed to myself to see myself through points my father punished me or not, and thus what I was punished for see as bad and judge as bad and what I was not see as good and ok, and thus exist within and as mind polarity of punished / not punished thus good / bad.

I forgive to myself that I have accepted and allowed to myself to create within me the energy friction as seeing myself through money and money by itself, and thus if I have money see me as superior and that I have right to talk and if not thus I have to shut up and remain silent and thus exist within and as polarity design of having / not having money and be this generate energy within me, as when I have money thus I am the one and superior and if not feel sadness, sorrow and pain and judge myself as bad and not worthy.

I forgive to myself that I have accepted and allowed to myself to see me through money and as that If I have money thus I am accepted and if not thus I am rejected by others, not seeing and realizing that it is me who have to accept me, not through money, but me as all as equal, no matter how much money I have.

I forgive to myself that I have not accepted and allowed to myself to accept myself no matter if I have money or not.

I forgive to myself that I have accepted and allowed to myself to see myself through reward system and thus see myself that I will be rewarded by money and want to be rewarded by money if I do some action, and judge others as bad if they do not reward me with money.

I forgive to myself that I have accepted and allowed to myself to judge my father as bad because ho do not gave me any money from those I found in wienna, because I desired to receive some money and expected that he will give me some money and thus exist within and as mind judgment of my father as bad because he do not fulfilled my desire and my expectation and thus separate myself from him.

I forgive to myself that I have accepted and allowed to myself to judge my father because he do not wanted to pay for glasses which I needed to see correctly and thus think and believe that it is ok when I do not want to pay for something I have to, and thus refuse to pay for that what I should.

I forgive to myself that I have not accepted and allowed to myself to see and accept the money as part of me, and thus exist within and as separation from money in realms of the mind, not seeing and realizing that money as physical are the same as me, and that I am one and equal with money thus I can’t desire money I am already money also.

I forgive to myself that I have accepted and allowed to myself to act, behave and create myself as opposite towards my mother as the one who think and believe that I do not need to calculate how much money I get and what I should pay for and thus use money effectively.

I forgive to myself that I have accepted and allowed to myself to see myself through polarity of the mind as money, as having money thus see myself more than, and superior and having not money as less then thus inferior, exist within and as mind design of inferiority and superiority and compare myself with those who have more money and thus see myself inferior and that I can’t speak because I do not have money in comparison with those who have more, not seeing and realizing that within this I always compared myself with myself.

I forgive to myself that I have accepted and allowed to myself to be as my father as he was making money by trading the stuff and thus want to also trade and prove to others that I can earn money by trading.

I forgive to myself that I have accepted and allowed to myself to want to be good as my father in relation of getting the money, and better to provide money to my family that my family will never be short of money and have to not experience that what I did because our family was poor and thus see myself as poor and thus desire to have and get money for myself.

I forgive to myself that I have accepted and allowed to myself to do not see and realize that starting point as desire for wanting to have money is my self deception, as by this I am saying that I live separated from money and that I judge them.

I forgive to myself that I have accepted and allowed to myself to became the slave of money because I separated myself from money and thus see them as more than me, not seeing and realizing that money are just physical as me, and that I am equal and one with money as physical.

. Thanks, Juraj



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Juraj Varga
Posts: 231
Joined: 06 Jul 2011, 20:20

Re: Juraj's Journey to Life

Postby Juraj Varga » 17 Dec 2012, 19:29

http://juraj-kess.blogspot.com/2012/12/ ... nd-me.html

Day 137 : Places and me

I became living in and as polarity of places as dark – Light, and this was because when I was a child, I liked to hide myself into a bad, where I did that place like tent, and inside was darkness and I liked and enjoyed that darkness, as only me was there and no one could go inside, and that was the place I felt myself safety, as I was not afraid of the dark, I became afraid of the light.

I forgive to myself that I have accepted and allowed to myself to separate myself from myself because of positive energy charge towards darkness and thus hide myself in dark of me where no one see.

I forgive to myself that I have accepted and allowed to myself to create within me positive energy charge towards darkness, and thus search for places where darkness is to experience safety and belonging and the place as my domain.

I forgive to myself that I have accepted and allowed to myself to think and believe that darkness is good and light is bad and thus exist in and as mind polarity of good / bad.

I forgive to myself that I have accepted and allowed to myself to feel and experience safety on places where darkness is and thus hide myself in dark.

I forgive to myself that I have accepted and allowed to myself to create fear towards the light and judge light as bad and thus exist as mind polarity of darkness as good and light as bad.

I forgive to myself that I have accepted and allowed to myself to think and believe and perceive the places where darkness is as my world, my domain, my belonging and think and believe that that are places where I belong to, not seeing and realizing that no matter which place I am I am still here, no matter if dark or light is present.

I forgive to myself that I have accepted and allowed to myself to hide myself as me to the dark and places where dark is and create within me likeness towards those places.

I forgive to myself that I have accepted and allowed to myself to run away from reality as that what is possible to be seen through my physical eyes as that what is here and what is created on places where darkness is, and thus perceive reality as boring, frightening and want to remain hidden on places where darkness and dark is, because of likeness towards those places and dislike towards reality as light.

I forgive to myself that I have accepted and allowed to myself to run away from reality and judge reality as where Is light as bad and create within me the sense of dislike, and charge reality by itself with negative energy charge, and places where is dark, which are isolated and hidden perceive as good, and charge with positive energy.

I forgive to myself that I have accepted and allowed to myself to perceive reality as world as boring and thus perceive myself as boring and judge myself as boring.

I forgive to myself that I have accepted and allowed to myself to perceive reality through light as being outside and where darkness as being inside and thus search for places where I can feel inside, safety, not judgment and belonging, not seeing and realizing that each place I am thus I belong there as my presence as physical as breath.

Thanks, Juraj



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Juraj Varga
Posts: 231
Joined: 06 Jul 2011, 20:20

Re: Juraj's Journey to Life

Postby Juraj Varga » 19 Dec 2012, 13:05

http://juraj-kess.blogspot.com/2012/12/ ... sound.html

Day 138 : Fear of sound

I realized interesting point, and that is fear of sound, of specific sounds I created within me, and this fear is based on self judgment, or perception of myself doing something bad, or when I attended school, when I was not prepared in some subject, and thus I feared what will happen when teacher will come, that I will have to probably answer on that I was not prepared into.

This fear, and trigger point of that fear became the ringing of the bell. The perception of ringing, and sense of fear is within me always as a point of being “catch” that I do something bad, or that I do something which I should not, or that someone will enter into my room or place where I am, or that something will be exposed about me, and therefore fear of being exposed, fear of someone entering.

Thus fear of sound, fear of ringing bell, fear of keys entered into the door, fear of knocking on the door, as not knowing who is behind the door, and thus also fear of unknown. Therefore within this, is also fear of facing myself.

I forgive to myself that I have accepted and allowed to myself to create within and as me fear of sound as ringing bell, fear of sound as keys entered into the door, fear of sound as hearing knocking on the doors, as a point of fearing to be exposed because of my self judgment of doing something bad, of perception of doing something bad, of not knowing who is behind the door, and thus fear to face myself, and thus think and believe that this fear is real experience of myself, that this fear as energy experience is me, that this energy movement as nervousness, anxiety and fear is real, instead of see and realize, that by this I feared myself and feared to face me.

I forgive to myself that I have accepted and allowed to myself to exist within and as fear of being exposed, being judged, being catch because of my own self judgment of doing something bad and thus existing in and as polarity of the mind good / bad.

I forgive to myself that I have accepted and allowed to myself to exist within and as fear of facing me, as a point of separation myself from myself and thus create within me the fear of sound as ringing bell, keys entered into a door, knocking on the door, and thus hide myself and do not want to be exposed and thus face me.

I forgive to myself that I have accepted and allowed to myself to fear to be exposed as a point of separation from myself and thus hiding within and as realms of the mind.

I forgive to myself that I have accepted and allowed to myself to fear to be exposed because of fear of being judged.

I forgive to myself that I have accepted and allowed to myself to hide in front of those I thought that I will be judged and run away from them instead of see and realize that this fear is fear of me judging me.

I forgive to myself that I have accepted and allowed to myself to think and believe that I will be judged by others and thus rather run away from others, do not communicate with them and do not share myself with them, and rather hide and exist within and as mind in secret and hiding.

I forgive to myself that I have accepted and allowed to myself to fear that I will be punished when I will expose what I did and thus rather hide everything what I perceive I can be punished of judged for.

I forgive to myself that I have accepted and allowed to myself to do not want to be confronted with my words, actions, and thus hide that what I do not want to be confronted with.

I forgive to myself that I have accepted and allowed to myself to think and believe that fear of myself is real, instead of see and realize that everything which exist is me, thus I always feared myself.

I forgive to myself that I have accepted and allowed to myself to fear sound as a trigger point of being exposed, catch and thus fear to be confronted with my actions, words and thus myself.

I forgive to myself that I have accepted and allowed to myself to exist within and as separation from the sound because I feared sound as a point of being exposed, catch as a point of my own self judgment instead of see and realize that I am sound thus I can’t fear myself.

I forgive to myself that I have accepted and allowed to myself to exist in and as mind trigger point of sound in environment I am in as a ringing bell, key entered into a door or knocking on the door, as a point of fear as being exposed, catch and thus confronted with that what I did, because of my own self judgment of doing something bad and thus exist within and as polarity of the mind as good / bad in judgment of myself and my actions, instead of see and realize, what I am doing, why and if this serves me for something or not.

Thanks, Juraj



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Juraj Varga
Posts: 231
Joined: 06 Jul 2011, 20:20

Re: Juraj's Journey to Life

Postby Juraj Varga » 21 Dec 2012, 20:35

http://juraj-kess.blogspot.com/2012/12/ ... -free.html

Day 139 : I am not free

Perception of freedom, to be free or free choice, is absolutely misunderstood and misinterpreted, and in any means, I am not able to say that I am free.

For me, to be free means, that I decide who I am, what I do, why I do, without any thought in my head, without any desire, projection, idea, believe, to make decisions not by knowledge and information, not by anything of this world, not by anything of the mind, but just only me as expression of me as breath, in equality and oneness with everything which exists.

Therefore, I am far away from this point, and, I am not free until everything which exists is free, because what exist is me.

I forgive to myself that I have not accepted and allowed to myself to see and realize that no one is free until all are equally free.

I forgive to myself that I have not accepted and allowed to myself to see that freedom, free will and free decisions do not exists, as everyone is enslaved and trapped within and as mind existence of thoughts.

I forgive to myself that I have not accepted and allowed to myself to see and realize, that I am fully responsible for this existence and I am part of the existence and thus each part of existence is mirror of whole.

I forgive to myself that I have not accepted and allowed to myself to see and realize that what exists here is mirror of me.

I forgive to myself that I have not accepted and allowed to myself to see and realize that I am equal with each particle in existence.

I forgive to myself that I have not accepted and allowed to myself to see and realize, that I accepted to enslave me by my own acceptances and allowances towards me.

I forgive to myself that I have not accepted and allowed to myself to see and realize that I enslaved me by the information and knowledge of this world.

I forgive to myself that I have not accepted and allowed to myself to see and realize that I am the one who gave up on life and became parasite of physical in separation from physical and to became the life I have to gave up the mind.

I forgive to myself that I have not accepted and allowed to myself to see and realize, that anything I gave up of the mind is never giving up on myself but just illusion.
I forgive to myself that I have not accepted and allowed to myself to see and realize, that what is possibly to be given up, is therefore illusion and what is real will remain.

I forgive to myself that I have not accepted and allowed to myself to see and realize, that only I will remain when I gave up on everything of the mind, as presence of me as awareness of me in and as breath of life.

Thanks, Juraj



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Juraj Varga
Posts: 231
Joined: 06 Jul 2011, 20:20

Re: Juraj's Journey to Life

Postby Juraj Varga » 21 Dec 2012, 20:36

http://juraj-kess.blogspot.com/2012/12/ ... of-me.html

Day 140 : Balance of me

I realized interesting point, in regards of balancing and stabilizing myself as presence of me within this world.

The moment I accept myself to balance me through feelings and emotions as polarity of other, I am fucked and this is not real balance and not real stability, this is just balancing myself as the mind as direct opposite of my fellow participant in conversation.

Real balance is physical, in and as breath, not matter what, only breath, me as breath, with the breath, is only real balance and real stability.

I forgive to myself that I have accepted and allowed to myself to balance and stabilize myself through the mind as experience of polarity towards another, instead of see and realize that this is not real stability and not real balance, but just following the program of polarity as design of balancing of experiences between participants.

I forgive to myself that I have accepted and allowed to myself to do not see and realize that only and one possible point of stability is physical in moment here, with the breath as standing here as presence of me.

I forgive to myself that I have accepted and allowed to myself to want to experience something, not seeing and realizing that this experiencing something is just desire of the mind for energy movement and energy experience, not seeing and realizing that I as presence of me do not need to experience anything of the mind as the moment, as I am here and aware of me.


Thanks, Jura



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Juraj Varga
Posts: 231
Joined: 06 Jul 2011, 20:20

Re: Juraj's Journey to Life

Postby Juraj Varga » 21 Dec 2012, 20:49

http://juraj-kess.blogspot.com/2012/12/ ... te-on.html

Day 141 : What I participate on?

The point of participating on anyone feelings, emotions is bullshit and the same way within and as me. If I directly participate on any energy experiences of anyone, in this I am not supporting them but enslaving in and as the mind, as I am validating of one emotions and validating of one to be right by such experiences and therefore keeping them trapped into their own illusions.

To be support for someone means that I do not participate on any bullshit of the mind as energy experiences, on any projections, ideas and believe, but just I am here and communicate the points which came up, without any feeling / emotional additions to my words, but just me as expression of breath.

I forgive to myself that I have not accepted and allowed to myself to see and realize, that any moment I do not express myself as breath here, thus I am living the characters of the mind as mirror of the past experiences as memory.

I forgive to myself that I have not accepted and allowed to myself to see and realize that nothing of my life as the past is no more here, no more here, and the only and one moment which is here is real.

I forgive to myself that I have not accepted and allowed to myself to see and realize, the simplicity of living here in and as one moment and therefore do only that what is possible to be done within on moment.

I forgive to myself that I have not accepted and allowed to myself to see and realize that validating someone ego, point of view, feelings, emotions, thoughts, projections, ideas and believes is deception of me and keeping others in their own self delusion and supporting their living as the mind.

Thanks, Juraj



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Juraj Varga
Posts: 231
Joined: 06 Jul 2011, 20:20

Re: Juraj's Journey to Life

Postby Juraj Varga » 21 Dec 2012, 21:03

http://juraj-kess.blogspot.com/2012/12/ ... -shit.html

Day 142 : Positive and negative – Same shit

The positive blind me to see what is part of myself as negative, the negative shows me what I became and why.

The positive directs me away from me, the negative destroy and dishonor me.

The positive, delude me and trap into illusions, negative shows how I judge myself and why.

No matter which polarity is within and as me, which polarity is still part of “my life”, it is the same bullshit and same energy and same addiction of energy.

It is cool to see and realize, that positive and negative, is simply not real.

I forgive to myself that I have accepted and allowed to myself to judge myself as positive and negative in separation from myself.

I forgive to myself that I have accepted and allowed to myself to live in polarities of the mind as positive and negative, instead of be here present within and as the moment and see and realize that nothing of polarities is real, just delusions of the mind as desires, projections, ideas, believes, definitions, judgments, separation myself from myself because of accepted living as the mind.

I forgive to myself that I have accepted and allowed to myself do not stop each moment here.

I forgive to myself that I have not accepted and allowed to myself to see and realize that I am able to stop everything and anything which is of the mind.

I forgive to myself that I have not accepted and allowed to myself to myself to see and realize that I am able to be directive principle of my life in self honesty with myself.

Thanks, Juraj



User avatar
Juraj Varga
Posts: 231
Joined: 06 Jul 2011, 20:20

Re: Juraj's Journey to Life

Postby Juraj Varga » 21 Dec 2012, 21:22

http://juraj-kess.blogspot.com/2012/12/ ... -move.html

Day 143 : Mind moves – I move

The point of EGO, and energy movement, is point of my life, as I existed as this EGO always. And to move just as me as breath, that’s the journey out of the ego.

Today, when I get on the bus, I made just two steps inside, and I looked on a girl on left side, and as I wanted to move behind her, through my mind flashed the question – Why she stand here this way? As her standing in middle of bus simply blockade the movement through this part, and thus I had to bay pass her, but as this movement I did as following of this thought and thus in certain rush of this movement, I hurt my left knee really hard.

The pain became extreme and I just breathe through this pain, and I realized, why and what was the point I hurt myself.

Simply, I moved in the mind as follower of the thought in the mind, it was not me moving me, as I saw the moment breathing through the pain, that if I would move myself, it would be impossible to hurt me, because I would do that steps in more calm manner and the certain rush I created within me, showed me what is the outcome of movement in and as the mind.

And within this, is simplicity, each time I move as the mind, thus I hurt myself.

I forgive to myself that I have accepted and allowed to myself to move myself as follower of the thought in the mind, to create the rush and do not be aware my breath, and thus hurt myself, instead of slow down, stop and move me as breath, as my physical body.

I forgive to myself that I have not accepted and allowed to myself to see and realize, that each moment mind show me any thought, I am able to stop, to be here, to breathe and move myself instead of following the thought and thus energy experience created.

Thanks, Juraj




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