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Re: larry's 7 year journey to life

Posted: 16 Mar 2014, 12:52
by larrymanuela
what is understanding part- 6




Now I move to the next word that I have placed within the list of words in the first blog about understanding. If one have not read that blog yet, I place here the link:

http://larry7yearwalk.blogspot.com/2014 ... nding.html


The next word in that list is: " Anger."

Thus let us see how we have define the word anger within and as this world. I have chosen dictionary.com for this:







anĀ·ger
[ang-ger] Show IPA
noun
1.
a strong feeling of displeasure and belligerence aroused by a wrong; wrath; ire.
2.
Chiefly British Dialect . pain or smart, as of a sore.
3.
Obsolete . grief; trouble.
verb (used with object)
4.
to arouse anger or wrath in.
5.
Chiefly British Dialect . to cause to smart; inflame.

verb (used without object)
6.
to become angry: He angers with little provocation.



Now for those whom are not aware of this, as I said in previous blogs related to these subjects, thus feelings and emotions, in this world we are really confused about our understanding of what these really are and what are the difference between emotions and feelings. And as I said as I have learned and not only learned but can also see it within and as myself by introspecting and investigating my own thoughts/feelings and emotions, that indeed:

" Feelings are positive charged energetic experiences."
And
" Emotions are negative charged energetic experiences."



Thus anger cannot be seen nor be experienced as a " feeling," because it is an " emotion."

If we have a look in this world how we use words and how we form sentences we often use this confusion a lot.
Most people when they ask the question if one have noticed: " How do you feel?" most people will answer that question in two ways, depending in what energetic state they are. Thus if they are "happy" which is a feeling, they will say they are happy. But if they are "sad" for example they will also say, they are sad, but yet "sadness" is NOT a feeling. And the question was specific, thus: " how do you FEEL?"
If one is more aware of this one could ask the question in another way as for example: " what are your experiences inside yourself at the moment?"

This way one can answer the question with either an negative experience of energy or an positive experience of energy, thus that one is going through an emotion or a feeling and thus an energetic experience. And then one can be best assisted and supported in a best and specific way.
So anger is an emotional reaction we create in our minds. For those whom are reading this and do not know yet that thoughts, feelings and emotions are ALL of and as the mind and within the mind, I'll suggest to do read the desteni material about all of this and also visit the EQAFE website for there are lots of interviews that go into detail explaining what these are and not only that but also how to work these out in practical application.

I understand that people in this world do not know that feelings and emotions are also of/from/within the mind. They are the mind's constructions and specific program that keeps the mind going generating energy to keep on existing. The main reason we think/believe that feelings and emotions are not of/from and within this mind, is because we see and believe that the mind is specifically allocated in the head area thus something in the brains, and there is where we mostly experience the thoughts. And the feelings and emotions, because we are experiencing them within our Solar Plexus in our chest area/ our hearts we think and believe that they are not of/from and within the mind, thus that the mind is only thoughts and memories. So we have separated the programs we experience in our minds and bodies to.

For an more indepth explanation about what to do when caught up in emotional reaction, I suggest to read the heavensjourney to life blog. In this blog there are practical application written that can assist and support one in one's process.

http://heavensjourneytolife.blogspot.co ... y-465.html


http://heavensjourneytolife.blogspot.co ... sible.html





Self-Forgiveness & Self-Commitment statements:


I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to live in world where I and the rest of the humans have accepted and allowed ourselves to emotions and feelings to direct as, abdicating our responsibility for ourselves as life here.

When and as I see myself going into or I am about to go into accepting and allowing emotions and feelings to direct me, wherein I am deliberately abdicating my responsibility, I STOP-------------- take a deep breath and bring myself back here, till I am clear and stable and nothing moves within me as me as the mind as energy.

I realize that I am deliberately abdicating my responsibility to/towards my emotions and feelings, because I blame it outside myself to/towards someone or something and also within my own mind I blame my memories for letting me go through the emotion or feeling.

Thus within this, I commit myself to take my responsibility and really see/realize and understand that my emotions and my feelings are all MY creation, they exist because I am accepting and allowing them, and thus because I am creating them I can also uncreate them and thus change my relationship to/towards the feelings and emotions as Self being responsible thus also taking responsibility and direct me to move me and stand within and as myself and not accept and allow feelings and emotions to direct me.


I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to think and believe that emotions and feelings are not of/from and within the mind, because of the allocation in the body where I experience them is not the same area or point/place.


When and as I see myself going into or I am about to go into thinking and believing that emotions and feelings are not of/from and within the mind, I STOP------------------ take a deep breath and bring myself back here till I am clear and stable and nothing moves within me as me as the mind as energy.

I realize that I am thinking and believing that emotions and feelings are not of/from and within the mind, because of my experience of them in another area, the chest area within my body that is not my head area, where I also think and believe that the mind is therein allocated.

Therefore, I commit myself to work out my emotions and feelings in specificity and detail and follow them to the core to really see/realize and understand that they are all coming from within and as the mind and I can through my writing of self-forgiveness and also spoken out loud of self-forgiveness in self-honesty release myself from the relationship I have created to/towards these feelings and emotions.


I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to NOT see/realize and understand that I am the only one that actually in real space time allow myself to create emotional reaction as anger to exist within me as me as the mind as energy.

When and as I see myself going into or I am about to go into not seeing/realizing and understanding that I am the creator of an emotional reaction as anger to exist within me as me as the mind as energy, I STOP------------- take a deep breath and bring myself back here till I am clear and stable and nothing moves within me as me as the mind as energy.

I realize that I do not see/realize and understand that I am the creator of my emotional reaction as anger, because I do not allow myself to slow myself down in breath sufficiently to go through the whole thing so I can see the whole construct within and as me and also see that no-one can place any reaction within me but me, the experience of whatever reaction can only be experienced in me, because I am the one experiencing it and not someone or something else, and that someone and something else cannot give it to me either, it is solely my creation and my experience, thus my responsibility.

Therefore, I commit myself to take my repsonsibility to/towards my emotional reaction as anger and do not allow myself to participate within it and make sure that I uncreate it within me through my writing of self-forgviness or spoken out loud in self-honesty and breathe to slow myself down so I can see more clearly what it is I am accepting and allowing to exist within me as me.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to let anger be a part of me as me as the mind as energy.

When and as I see myself going into or I am about to go into letting anger be a part of me as me as the mind as energy, I STOP---------- take a deep breath and bring myself back here till I am clear and stable and nothing moves within me as me as the mind as energy.

I realize that I am letting anger be part of me because I can then spite another or something.

Therefore, I commit myself to step by step through my writing of self-forgivenes and spoken out loud in self-honesty to stop all action and interaction in emotion as anger till I do not participate in anger anymore nor is anger part of me anymore.





Self-Reward:

Within this writing I have come to see/realize and understand more about me in my relationship to anger and emotions and how I can assist and support myself to NOT participate in them and to how to little by little change the whom I am in relation to them within and as myself.





Thanks.



Larry Manuela

Re: larry's 7 year journey to life

Posted: 27 Jul 2014, 15:33
by larrymanuela
As you can see, this title is referring to myself. I am asking myself, why it is I am not changing as I would like to change myself as what I am aware must be done in order to be the example I must be, so that the way we live with each other and everything else can change to?

Before I continue about myself I want to place two videos of two people whom did effect my life and the way I looked at life in a very deep way.

First I place the video of Jiddu Krishnamurti with the title: " Why don't you change."






And the video of Bernard Poolman, with the title: " 2012, finding your purpose in the journey to life."








So there you have two of the many videos that have supported me in all the times I let myself be down so to speak. Within this abusing myself and thus being abuser of all life.




Self-forgiveness statements:


I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to even when I am aware that I have to change, I still postpone my change in sitting and waiting and just taking in information and knowledge and not really actually doing anything with them that will result into that which is best for all life.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not change as I would like to change myself to be an example in this world no matter what, as to what it means practically to be the change I want to be in this world.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not do what is necessary to be done in my life to change myself to be/become a living example of the principle of that which is best for all life.


I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to think/believe my own justifications and my self-sabotages to keep on continuing allowing myself to not change.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to through me not changing myself as I am aware I have to, I also within the big picture let down all of the ones that will find similarities within my writing that they go through within their own lives, thus within this not taking my self-responsibility to actually walk my own process and thus my process which is also at the same time a support to others that may go through the same patterns and constructs I am going through, to assist and support them.


I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself through my procrastination accept and allow all what is here in this world as the manifested physical mind to be here and continue to exists as it exists without me changing me in order to be effective enough to become a member of humanity that will come together and change the physical manifested mind as the systems we have accepted and allowed to be here as the way we live on this planet as human beings.


I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to generate within me anger to/towards myself because I am aware of myself not doing what I am aware I must do to change myself in order to be the change humanity needs to see in the world.

I forgive myself that I haven't accepted and allowed myself to live my commitments to the fullest as I wrote them in the past, and therefore not proofing to myself all the way that I can change myself in every moment of every breath by actually walking and sticking to my own commitments I have made that will have a result when I live them, that will change myself into a human being that lives by and as the principles of that which is best for all life.


I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to do too little, just because I am aware now or by the very first time I saw the common sense of what I am accepting and allowing to happen to how life functions here in this world practically, which is not what is best for all life, so in order to hold face I do just little, because within me I am aware what is needed to be done and within my mind I let myself fight my own change, thus I deliberately sabotage myself in order to not actually really change in the moment by just taking the decision and see what has to be done physically/practically within common sense that will result in me living that which is according to the principle of that which is best for all life.


I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed poverty to exist because I do not care enough as in physical/practical care to make sure that poverty is not a living condition on this planet for any life-form.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed hunger to exist on the planet for countless beings, by accepting and allowing a system to exist where such living condition is existent for many many beings.


I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to even when I am aware of what the heck is going on, still I do not place myself and do more then enough to change myself in order to be a living example of the change that is being seen as impossible and make it visible and thus possible for all to see within the whom I become and the how I live my life in relationships with everything else with only one principle as an outcome, which is; ' that which is best for all life," no matter in what form life has manifested itself.


I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not be really self-honest within my writings about myself within and as my process, and deliberately leave certain aspect about myself for later, when I am aware that the later will not come, because I will keep on not writing about it, postponing my own change.




To be continued........................................................




Thanks.



Larry Manuela



http://larry7yearwalk.blogspot.com/2014 ... hange.html

Re: larry's 7 year journey to life

Posted: 29 Mar 2015, 04:16
by larrymanuela
So here I am within this blog going to write about the points I mentioned in the blog previous to this one.

If one have not read that blog yet, click here to go to it.



So the points that I am going to work out in this blog are the following:

** Fearing confrontational disputes with other people

** Fear being disliked

** Fear for being hated by others

** Fear for being avoided by others

** Fear for being seen as a "negative person."

Self-forgiveness statements:


I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear having to go through confrontational disputes with other people, because I am aware that within these confrontation I can loose myself trying to prove a point without seeing/realizing and understanding that not everyone is at the same level of understanding as I might be, and even if they were it is about what will be best for all life and not me trying to prove a point or wanting another to agree with me.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to think and believe that trying to make someone agree with me is enough, when I am aware that the agreeing point is just a starting point, it is not an actual real agreement yet as in moving myself within and as the point I have agreed upon, thus I might just agree about theoretical mind jargon that make sense for the both of us within the moment, but it does not necessarily mean that I am actually going to change myself to live that which we both see needs change, therefore I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to even though I am seeing what I must do in order to change myself and take a stand in where I stand and what I stand for and take responsibility for.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear being disliked, because in being disliked I perceive it as equal to being alone in the sense of not being able to be included in the majority and thus being communicatively none existent.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear being left out of being communicated to or being able to communicate with others.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear being communicated at or left out of being communication with others because it implies that I will be on my own, and that I fear actually deep within myself to actually in fact to be alone as in having no-one to communicate with.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear being hated by others, because within me I am aware that hate breeds violence and within violence one can go through very harsh physical abuse and thus within this, fearing to go through the physical abuse that is accompanied with lots of physical pain.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear that I am being avoided by others, because of again when being avoided by others I will go through the experience of being left behind and alone, not worthy of communicating with.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to think and believe that I am not worthy to be communicated with.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear being seen as a negative person.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to think and believe that a negative person is someone to be feared.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that a negative person is automatically someone to be feared and thus within this not wanting to be seen as a negative person.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear the judgement I have about judging others judging me being a negative person.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear my own judgment about myself.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to think and believe that by fearing my own judgement will make the judgement disappear.

To be continued................

Thanks.

Larry Manuelahttp://larry7yearwalk.blogspot.com/2015 ... art-2.html

Re: larry's 7 year journey to life

Posted: 13 Apr 2015, 20:21
by larrymanuela
Day 353, Fear of working on myself alone Part 2




Within this blog, I am continuing with what I worked out in the previous blog. If one have not read that one yet here is the link.








Self-forgiveness statements:


I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to tell myself that I am tired of myself, however yet not using this opportunity to actually apply myself in these moments and get it over with and to not be too hard on myself as by being too hard on myself I close the door again, because I am then within my mind consciousness system expecting a quick change, when deep within me I am aware that there is no such thing as a quick change within this process.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to deliberatly use the want/need/desire to have a quick change to delude myself in order to in reality not apply myself, because I am aware that I will not change quickly thus this will give me more time to postpone my own real practical change.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear real change, because I fear loosing the people close to me if I would really change and take a stand for what I will accept and allow and for what I will not accept and allow, of which I am aware are points that are very challenging for myself as also for others as myself seeing my change.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to keep on beating around the bush with the 2 points that are a real challenge within my process, which Bernard indicated to me in the past, which are sex and money, and the relationship I have with sex when I have money and when I am without money, that I use them both to compensate one another and out of which I generate more negative energetic charge within myself, as in when I do not have money, I look for sex to generate positive energetic charge within me to compensate for the stress and emotional turmoil of not having money or not having enough or having difficulties financially.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to when I see that my finance is just getting a little better or starting to get a little better it gives me a sense of freedom within me and since I have created myself into a personality that couples freedom with lots of sex, I immediately look for women to have sex with to lessen the surpluse of positive energetic charge I have accumulated gravitating on this little change I project as if ALL my problems with money are now behind me when in reality it is not so.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to deliberately manipulate many women on the internet into virtually or physically afterwards to have sex with me, and within these moments actually being aware that what I am busy doing is NOT what will be best for me nor for them.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself deliberately not challenging myself on this point writing them out in self-forgiveness, because within myself I am aware that when I do it means to me that I must now actually really, must stop and it is now in the open, thus fearing that I might actually stop myself, thus due to this not writing it out nor looking for any assistance, because I am aware already what assisstances I will get and that these assisstances and support will give me something that I cannot run from and make me have to do it, thus I than make the choice to not ask for assisstance so I can continue indulging within this personality with its traits.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to feel great about myself when I am busy manipulating the women to have sex with me even though I am aware that I am just using the words they themselves are expecting to hear till I bring the personality out of them that I want and desire for us to than engage into either virtual or physical sex.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to use my ability of story-telling to entice/generate the fantasy of the women I talk to in order to get them to the point of actually wanting to have sex with me, making them believe that I am doing something to them through words when in reality I am aware that I am just manipulating them to believe this and deep within me I experience shame of myself, however yet I do not allow this shame to really come forth, because I am in that moment in full attention of the specific words I use that when the women would give in, I get a positive energetic charge within me that I expience as something I needed for that moment.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to deliberately supress the shame that I experience deep within me, because of being aware of what I am doing, which is NOT what is best for me nor for the women I am talking to.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to everytime to remind myself to stop, but to not actually stop and say to myself as having a backchat within myself saying: " let's do this one more time and then you can quit," when in reality I keep on having lots and lots of "one more times" and more and more women to please sexually and with sexually tinted and sexually enticing story telling to reach my goal.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to give these women some kind of hope that we may be one day in a real relationship when in reality I am aware that I am just using their emotional experiences they have of fearing being alone also their desire to be with a man, and use words to bring these emotions and feelings forth and seeing myself as being so good at making a woman want and desire me when I am aware that I am just manipulating what I can see through their own words without them even being aware of it, because they loose themselves within the words I choose to tell the stories.


More to come in another blog on this point that opened up in this blog here...............



Thanks.


Larry Manuela