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Re: Axel's Journey to Life

Posted: 10 Feb 2016, 14:52
by Axel
Day 21 - How I Became an Energy Vampire

Yesterday a friend told me that in 20 years I will still find excuses that allow me to not commit to anything, including people, and that I am an energy vampire. At first, I was pretty shocked about this statment, especially since I dont know this person very well. But I also felt there was a lot of truth in it. I had actually felt this way quite some time. But I did not want to admit to myself that I was acutally sucking energy out of other people. Instead I accused them for sucking the energy out of me. For exmaple by forcing me to do things I did not want to do or did not see important or even necessary. Like cleaning up the rooms, helping with chores around the house, or spending time talking and cuddling, etc. This even ended up in discussion about who is right or wrong and whose wishes or demands are finally carried out, even against the will of the other.

At that point, when these useless accusations and meaningless conflicts about chores and responsibilites arose, I began to stop and look at it. I was asking myself: what am I doing here? Is this really important? Why am I resisting the request to help around the house? Why am I so concerned about "more important things", about my personal freedom, about directing my life alone and without thinking about other I live together with? This could not be right. And then it occured to me that I was actually sucking energy out of other people by refusing to do these chores and instead engaging in meaningless discussion about them. I began to ask myself if my friend had actually been right about me and whether I was indeed an energy vampire. And as I investigated this question further, I actually found many areas in my life where I was living like a parasite and energy vampire. Here is a list of some of them:
  • I was trying to live cheaply, even for free, for example in a friends house or community building
  • I was trying to save my money as much as I could and not spend it on anything anymore that was not absolutely required
  • I did not want to do any "chores" and instead use my time to find ways to earn money in the easiest way possible
  • I was trying to find friends who would take care of me without me having to invest anything into that relationship
It was clear that I was actually really behaving like an energy vampire. I was using people for my own benefit and did not care at all about their lives and their well-being in our relationships. It was all about me, my money, my time, my well-being, me feeling free, me disengaged from all around me, me living as a parasite.

This could not be right. I was wondering why I did behave like this and what the actual causes for such behavior were. I realize quickly that this behavior as a parasite and energy vampire was rooted in fear. A few years ago I had quit my job because I found it to be unbarable, meaningless, enslaving. So I quit and since then I never took up another job. I did not want one. I did not want to get into the same situation of enslavement that I had left a few years back. And because of the fear to lose all my money over time and the fear of having to take up another job eventually, I started becoming interested in a minimalistic lifestyle. I believe this by itsself is not really a bad thing since we consume so much trash that a little less consumerism would probably be a good thing for me and this world. But I was totatlly unaware of that this idea finally resulted in me becoming this parasitig beast and even defending it with arguments like: why should I do those chores if it is you who wants it? Why dont you do it yourself instead of forcing your opinion upon me? Why should I care, after all it is your house? Etc. etc. etc.
  • I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to be ruled by money.
  • I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to put my own interests (e.g. economic survival) beyond everything else.
  • I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to become an inconsiderate energy vampire and economic parasite in the attempt to secure my own economic survival for as long as possible.
  • I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to equalize work with slavery instead of looking for engagements that I find meaningful, necessary, and helpful in order to help release the stronghold of money on the people of this world, including myself.
  • I commit myself to stop behaving like a parasite or energy vampire and take care of myself by using my energy so support myself instead of wasting my energy to the mind worrying about who is right or wrong, accusing and blaming others.
  • I commit myself to take of myself and others by finding engagements and relationships that are of mutual benefit to all involved.
  • I commit myself to stop excusing myself with an endless list of reasons for not interacting with this rotten world and instead use my energy to dissolve structures that bind and enslave the beings in this world.
  • I commit myself to not rely on anybody else for my own survival or for walking the path together with me that I commit myself to. ... y-vampire/

Re: Axel's Journey to Life

Posted: 11 Feb 2016, 10:44
by Axel
Day 22: How do I Stop Being an Energy Vampire

Yesterday I wrote about my behaviors as an Energy Vampire. Today I want to examine ways to stop this behavior in me.

When and as I saw myself behaving like an energy sucker, I began to ask myself: why am I doing this? Why am I sucking the energy out of other people? Don't I have enough energy myself to support me in my life? Do I need energy from others to survive? Do I need support from others to survive, let say through a (well-paid) job? Do I need a job, any job, any support, from anyone, to survive in this world? Don't I have enough energy by myself to stand here as a living being in this world, independent, fully capable of supporting myself and doing the things I came here to do (which is what, by the way)?

So the first feeling that came up when I was asking those question to myself was NO. I cannot do this. I have no energy left to do anything. It is not possible. I cannot do it without anyone else. I need support. I need someone, anyone, to support me in my life. Either through a job, through a relatinship or partnership, through money or an idea, whatever.

But it is not true. I need nobody. If I cannot do it by myself, if I cannot do anything by myself, I am not worth being called an independent, sovereign, human being. Any animal can support itself just fine. Why can't I? This cannot be true. I do not allow it to be true. I do not allow this idea to take hold of my life, enslave me to the support of others, and not even to the ideas in my mind which tell me I depend on such support.
  • I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to feel week, in need of support, and incabable to survive in this world by myself.
  • I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to indulge in feelings of weakness, hopelessness, confusion, and directionlessness that allowed me to not take a stand and decide where I wanted to go with my life.
  • I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to direct my energy to the mind, and thus channel it out of this world instead of into it.
  • I forgive myself that I have not accepted and allowed myself to see and realize that it was my own choice to give my energy to the mind and thus producing a vaccum that sucked the energey of others around me into this vortex as well.
  • I forgive myself that I have not accepted and allowed myself to understand that I am equipped with enough of my own life energy and life force, which I can bring into this world, and that I do not need anybody to support me in life.
  • I commit myself to stop channeling my energy out of this world and into the mind.
  • I commit myself to stop abusing others and thus allowing their energy to be drained away through me as well.
  • I commit myself to setting goals for myself as to how I want to direct my energy into this world.
https://axelsjourneytolife.wordpress.c ... y-vampire/

Re: Axel's Journey to Life

Posted: 12 Feb 2016, 13:36
by Axel
Day 23: Facing Internal Resistance

As I re-engage writing my Journey-To-Life blog I realize that after only three days of continued writing I am struggling to find issues that I deem worthy of writing about. This may only be some trick of the mind to steer me away from my writing as it begins to really challenge my mind. Ideas come and go. What seemed important yesterday seems irrelevant today. As before when I was engaged in writing the question comes up "Is this process really worth engaging in? What for anyway".

I see that this is a familar step in my process. I've been here before and I dropped it at that point. I dropped the process of writing because I did not know what to write about anymore. I questioned the value of writing, the imporance of dealing with whatever comes up in my mind, the felt emptiness in my mind, the arising doubts, the increasing interest in steering myself away from writing and doing something more worthwhile instead. And I know this is a trick of the mind. Because how did I get here, to Desteni and the process of writing, in the first place? It happened because I saw no other way. Nothing else has worked so far. Nothing gave me lasting satisfaction. Everything I have done so far ended up in dis-illusionment, hopelessness and despair.

So how am I going to continue now? Will I drop it again? Will I seek for something more worthy, more interesting, more fun? No, I won't. I will stick to the process and continue my writing, regardless of what it brings to the surface. And even if it brings notihing other than deep frustration. Because even that would be a point to look at more deeply.
  • I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to doubt.
  • I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to use doubt to consider prematurely ending a process which has not even started.
  • I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that I should only write if I have something important and worthwhile to say.
  • I commit myself to continuing the process.
  • I commit myself to continuing the process against all internal and external resistances that may show up.
  • I commit myself to examine any and all resistances that appear while going through the process of writing. ... esistance/

Re: Axel's Journey to Life

Posted: 12 Apr 2016, 19:51
by Axel
Day 24 - Who am I in this world?

Many people claim to know why we, as the individual human we see ourselves as, came here to earth and into this life. Some of them say earth is a school for learning karmic lessons. Others think we came here to help humanity evolve to the next conscious level. Then there are those who believe it was just an accident, life is short, we should get as much out of it as we possibly could. And there are those who see human life as a punishment from god for our sins and if we follow the rules and behave properly, we go to heaven whereas we otherwise go to hell. And in between we numerous religious, spiritual, philosophical, and scientific views about life on earth and who and what we as a person are.

But what is the truth here? How do we know what the truth of the matter really is? Are the religions correct? And if so, which one? Are the scientists right? How can we know? All of them tell us a different story. So how do we get to the truth of the matter? Who or what do we believe in and why?

Questions like this bother me not only from time to time. They have become a quite central issue of my life. I ponder and ponder, I read and read, I listen and listen, but the more I ponder, read, and listen, the more the answer seems to escape me. There is so much information out there that I cannot see the forest for the trees anymore. How can I know which information is correct and which one isnt?

Of course, based on our personal experience we usually reject some explanations right away out of hand. But why do we do so? Is not simply because we have been taught otherwise? Is not simply because it does not make sense to us because it does not fit our model of the universe?

When I look at my questions from this perspective I feel that all answers could be true. How can I know that they are not? I mean how can I know deep from the bottom of my heart which information is true and which isnt?

I must admit that I cannot know this. I have been told certain things and believe they are true because some so-called authority has told me so. But all I did is believe what they have told me. I have no means of proving they were right or wrong. I believe something and if more people tell me that they also believe in it (usually our entire culture believes in the same stuff), the more I tend to believe it also. But is such a blind belief in any way close to the truth? I am not sure about it. How could I? Only because someone, or many, told me so?

If this is the case, if we really only believe what others tell us, then we must admit that we chose what we believe for any number of reasons or for no reason at all. It really does not matter what the reasons are or if we have any. We believe what we believe anyway.We might as well believe in self-dribbling elves or in supernatural beings as in god or satan, the big bang, christ walking on water, the flyging spaghetti monster or who knows what. But we rarely do because we have our good reasons to believe what we believe. But what are those reasons really? Teachings that we believed in when we were younger. And those teaching fromed our view of the world as we presently have it. And we try to find more evidence each day so support our views of what is in order to have a stale foundation of how the world works. A foundation that we can rely on because it is the truth as we know it. Ans all information that challenges this view are dismissed or argued away.

But this view of the world is not truth. It is simply adopted teachings that we accepted more or less unquestioned. And same applies to ourselves. We have adopted a picture of who we are through the eyes of others who tell us how they see us and who we are. And we believe them. But is this really who we are? I dont think so.

Why do I accept the world views of others and even a definition of myself as that what others see in me? Dont I have a mind of my own? Can I not decice by myself, alone, what to believe and who I am or want to be? Must I believe what others tell me about the world and about me? No. I dont have to do this. I have a choice and I can step out of it and define who I am in this world. It is my free choice to do this or not.
  • I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to give my power away to others by accepting their defintion of me.
  • I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to listen to the truth of others and accept it as my own instead of finding or even defining my own truth.
  • I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to see the world and my role in it through the filter and definition of others rather than my own.
  • I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to seek knowledge and understanding outside of myself rather than in myself.
  • I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself for others to rule over me by submitting to their ideas of how the world works and what my role is in it.
  • I commit myself to stop accepting other peoples ideas as my own simply because they sound true and advanced, or because they fit my model of the universe.
  • I commit myself to define my own role in this world by my own standards and by what I regard as proper behaviour.
  • I commit myself to stop seeing myself as an isolated person in this world that fights for its own survival without considering the needs of others.
  • I commit myself to behave and act as an integral member of the human race.
  • I commit myself to stop all abusive behavior, be in thought, word, or deed.
  • I commit myself to think, speak, and act in ways that are inclusive in regards to other peoples needs. ... his-world/

Re: Axel's Journey to Life

Posted: 14 Apr 2016, 11:21
by Axel
Day 25: My Relation With Money

On day 24 I wrote about the question how I see and define myself in this world. When I review my self-committment statements they sound pretty vague and unspecific. This does not seem to be very helpful, even to me, as even after two days I cannot always remember what I meant by them. Therefore, I want to pick up those statements, one each day, and make them more specific.

"I commit myself to stop accepting other peoples ideas as my own simply because they sound true and advanced, or because they fit my model of the universe."

I made this statement because I realized that the truth of other people, other peoples ideas, their convictions, their beliefs, their knoweledge, etc. are not at all any more important than my own. How, just how, can they really KNOW more than I? They may think and believe they know more than I do, particualr in a certain area of study, as they might have studied it more extensively than I. But what they did is only sutdying even other poeples idea about the subject at hand. That is not knowledge as I see it. It simply a belief in certain facts.

So then the question arises how I see those things? What do I KNOW, out of my own being, on a certain subject even without having studied it (thus accepting other people view on it)? I am not saying that some models of how the world works (for example gravity or electricity or chemistry) are not worthwhile. All I am saying is that somebody, or many over the centuries, propagated and reinforced some idea about those subjects that we all now tend to believe because they make sense from the established point of view. But my question is: is it true? Have we perhaps missed something? Why should I accept these established views?

Well, I am accepting these views, gravity for example, as long as they serve a purpose. As long as I know gravity works the way it works, I will not jump off a high building. But on the other hand, as long as we collectively believe in gravity, how can we ever challenge its effect on us and overcome it? I must think of Neo in the movie series "The Matrix" who questioned his belief in gravity (and many other things) and thus was indeed able to overcome them. My point here is that if we do not challenge our well established ideas about anything and everything, things will not change. And if we do, they might.

The character Neo is a prime example of what might happen when we start disbelieving established views and think for ourselves and try for ourselves. This is why I commit myself to stop accepting other peoples ideas as my own simply because they sound true and advanced, or because they fit my model of the universe. I challenge all ideas. I do not believe anything.

And yet, to this date this is mere wishful thinking as I cannot stop believing anything at all. I certainly do have my beliefs and it is very difficult to stop them. Most of them are so ingrained in my being and so deeply rooted in my mind that it is almost impossible to even identify, not to say change them.

It is my wish to challenge all my beliefs and adapt those that serve me and everyone else in the best possible way. And at this point I am not particularyl interested in challeing my view on gravity to overcome it like Neo in the movie. But I am concerned about my views on the need to make a living and to enslave me in order to do so. I am not willing to accept the belief that I have to work for survival. It is certainly my interest to steal or depend on social security benefits. I believe there must be another way of surviving in this world without becoming a slave to money or an employer. And I commit myself to finding such a way, first for me and then perhaps as an example for others who wish to do (and believe) the same.
  • I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to follow societal norms for the majority of my life.
  • I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that money is required for survival and that I have to make money to survive in this world.
  • I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to feel insecure when I dont have enough money in my bank account, become anxious about it, and then tend to throw over board all my ideas about a society in which making money is not required, and instead focus on making money again, in which ever way possible, so I can feel more secure.
  • I commit myself to never ever again take on a job just in order to make money for survival.
  • I commit myself to consider very deeply the ways in which I accept and work for money, as I see working for and receiving money as an energetic exchange that affects me and those involved in such an exchange in many ways.
  • I commit myself to examine my relation to money and establish a mutually beneficial realtionship with money in my life. ... -to-money/

Re: Axel's Journey to Life

Posted: 24 Apr 2016, 11:06
by Axel
Day 26: My relationship with money - and this world

During the past days I have had not company and thus I dook my freedom to stop working on the boat and rather reflect a bit on my life and where I want to go with it. I could have easily written daily Journey-to-Life blogs or continue with my DIP-Process, but both did not appeal to me. There was something inside that blocked me from doing it. I just could not find an issues to write a blog about or find a negative/emotional attachment to write about. I banged my head against the wall for quite some time because I did not want to believe or accept that it would be so difficult to continue with JTL or DIP. But after a few days I gave up. I just was not clear enough about what was going on inside of me and so I simply could not do it.

Of course I found "permission slips" for deviating from writing my JTL blog and postponing the DIP process further. And the most improtant reason for me was this: Both, JTL and DIP "require" daily committments. And on most days while I am not berthed in Marina with my ship, I just have no time or the freedom to do that. But I also skip it on other days when I could write. And the internal reason for doing so is my belief that it should not be "required" to write daily. This to me seems like an enslavement to the Desteni-idea and I view this then as a doctrine like a religious doctrine that needs to be followed because someone says so. I cannot accept that and I also excuse it with my life cicumstances.

So I found my reasons to only write from time to time and I accept those reasons for now, even though I also see the benefit of writing daily. On the other hand, such days with a lot of free time, as I had them during the past days, also have value. During those days, I usually switch from acitivy (working on the boat, connecting with people on Facebook, looking for a new relationship) to more and more contemplation. After a couple of days I hardly get out of bed and only contemplate. I contemplate my life, where I am at with it, what my issues are, what I want to change, why I want to change and in which way, and so on. I question everything, including Desteni, my life on the boat, my relationships, what I am doing with my time, my beliefs about life, and so on.

Interestingly enough, this always brings me to the same ideas that deeply touch my heart. And these are the following:
  1. I am concerned about money as I have not worked for almost three years now and my savings are almost gone. But I cannot bring myself to take on a new job just for the money. This would be a denial of who I think I am and enslave me to a way of living that I cannot follow anymore, as I have for 45 years of my life.
  2. I cannot accept the idea that we live in a world in which others (governments) rule over us without our (at least my) consent. I was born free and without my approval I became the property of the government who occupies the space in which I was born. Which right did they have to do this and take away our chances to live our own lifes on the land we were born? Now, these governments force me/us to comply to their rules of enslavement. Since all areas of the world are occupied by someone, there is no space left for anyone to live freely. This is wrong.
  3. This government and all the others of the world are destrying this world. They rule over people and require them to work so that they can steal tax money from them to exploit the earth and its resouces and do things nobody wants or needs (like bulding weaponry and kill people with it en masse). We pollute our environment (the sea, the air, the land) with our technology (of which we are so proud) and thus poison the food we eat, the water we drink, and the air we breathe. We kill ourselves, slowly but surely. And our entire societey is built in a such a way as to support this model, which we even call a developed society. This is not what I think a government should be doing or what I regard as developed in any way. A socity or race that destroyes the plante it lives on and the resources it needs, while killing its people on purpose and that is unable to care for all its fellow human is in no way developed. I cannot accept to be part of such a culture and therefore I withdraw my compliance to their rules and all forms of enslavment they require me to submit to. This was one of the major reasons I bought a saling boat to live on.
Thoughts like this come up when I have the time to ponder. But in order to do so I need time alone and time that is free of any committments. I have been realizing all this for quite some time ( a few years) but it seems I have not taken any steps yet to change any of it. Not with action, not with tought, not with word. And this needs to change.
  • I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to occupy myself with pleasurable activites (like working on my boat, sailing, and visiting nice bays and beaches) even though in the back of my mind these activities have no value for me.
  • I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to excuse myself from engaging in valuable or meaingful activies because I believe they cannot support me financially enough to survive in this world.
  • I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself for money to rule over my existence and using the felt need to make money, or save money, or invest money, to direct my life.
  • I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to make money the ruler of my life instead of disenganging from this enslavement through action, thought, and word, and speak, think, and act in ways that change this.
  • I commit myself to think about the enslavement of the people in this world, the destruction of the environment, and better solutions that can bring about opportunities for all to live a free and sustaining life on earth.
  • I commit myself to speak about the enslavement of the people in this world, the destruction of the environment, and better solutions which bring about opportunities for all to live a free and sustaining life on earth.
  • I commit myself to act about the enslavement of the people in this world and the destruction of the environment in ways that support better solutions which bring about opportunities for all to live a free and sustaining life on earth. ... his-world/

Re: Axel's Journey to Life

Posted: 11 Mar 2019, 17:43
by Axel
Starting over :-)

Day 1: A New Committment

One of the things that in the past bothered me about Desteni and writing a Journal to Life blog was the constant need to make apologies (applying self-forgiveness as if I had done something wrong) and the need for self-corrective application (committing to change). Such requirements weighed very heavily on me and were hard for me to handle on a day-by-day basis. After only a few days of writing I felt overwhelmed and overburdened with all the accumulated self-corrective statements I had made and committed to resolve.

This was simply too much to handle and did not seem to work. I could not, by any means, follow through with all of what I had promised to face and resolve in my self-corrective statements. However, I understood that there was the need for corrective behavior in a myriad of ways, but it obviously was too much to handle in one lifetime. The end of it was that I stopped writing my blog.
However, I could never stop further uprooting more ot these neglected and rejected issues that I did not like about myself. It was/is hard to face them with a clear vision, see truthfully who you are, and write about this openly. Further negligence and indulgence in all kinds of useless desires, passions, and activities felt much easier. But it would not solve the problem of feeling to live a meaningless existence. And so I sank deeper and deeper into depression and despair, feeling more and more empty inside, disconnected from myself, as the days went by.

I wrote quietly for myself only, which gave me some relief and a sense of inner freedom. However, I did not share what I found with anyone. I had tried a few times, but no one would understand, even though some would listen.

But how could I expect to find people that would understand my path, my issues, my insights, my problems, and see the world through similar eyes, finding purpose in similar activities, by hiding myself behind closed doors? This was certainly not the answer. It cannot be. The only answer is to bring all my issues out into the open, talk about them, show them to others, and through doing this connect with those who understand so that we can help and assist each other on our paths to truth within ourselves.
  • I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to lock myself up and close myself off of the world because of the fear of misunderstanding and ridicule.
  • I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fall into depression and despair without realizing that isolating myself from the world around me does not help.
  • I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear the judgement of others.
  • I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to always put other above me, think about them first, and thus neglect my own inner urges.
  • I forgive myself that I have accepted and allow myself to undervalue my own inner impulses and disregard them whenever they are in conflict with the wishes and desires of others.
  • I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to regard others as unequal to myself, being either in a lower evolutionary state of awareness or a higher one, without realitzing that this causes unnecessary separation between us, leading to dishonesty in my relationship with them.
  • I commit myself to value myself as much as I value others.
  • I commit myself to allocate my resources (energy, time, and money) to my own inner journey as much as needed and give all my excess resources to those who are in need of it.
  • I commit myself to learn to handle my resources of energy, time, and money more wisely and in sustainable ways, so that I am not unnecessarily depleeting my own resources in wasteful ways and engagements.
https://wanderersjourney2life.blogspot. ... tment.html

Re: Axel's Journey to Life

Posted: 11 Mar 2019, 17:48
by Axel
Day 2: Focus
In my previous post on Day 1 I wrote about "A New Committment" and that I would commit to allocating my resources to two issues that I feel are currently very important in my life:
  • focus on my inner journey and development
  • identify meaningful engagements in/with this world
So what does this exactly mean to me?

First, I have to admit that I see a number of serious problems humanity is facing these days. Among them are:

The separation of the human race into nations and religious groups, leading away from unity and into conflict and war.
The immense and ever increasing rapid destruction of the planet and her resources, which will result in famine, social unrest, and war over the declining resources.

The invasion of alien consciousness into our minds and perhaps soon into our physical environment. This invasion has already been under way for many years and the motives behind it are control of the human race and not our rescue.
The intended destruction of the German culture and the exploitation of the German people through their own puppet government.
In light of all these tremendous and pressing problems, I feel myself to be very overwhelmed by them, not knowing where to start acting and what do do. But I also feel the immense urge to act in order to not make things worse or let it all happen. I want to help alleviate the problems and do something about them. Because one needs to act, otherwise nothing will change. We cannot turn a bling a eye to this. It is our(my) personal responsibility to bring about a change. We cannot abgject our responsibility here and turn it over to "governments", because they are obviously incapable of even facing the problems, not to speak about providing solutions. So this is a very tough personal call for action that I feel here. And unfortunately most people on the planet are not even aware of those problems. And if they are, they tend to disregard them and focus on their own little problems rather than those of the world at large. Or they want to talk about it on Facebook from the comfort of their personal homes. But who will respond with action? I feel I have to and yet I dont know how. It is a daunting task and my continuing inaction in those matters results in more depression about the future as they days go by.

However, from another more remote viewing perspective, I can see that these above ideas are all simply ideas that coming from the mind and through the mind. And this includes the depression resulting from the idea that I am incapable of action which actually really means that I am UNWILLING to act. And then another idea becomes strong in my mind, which is the idea that all these problems that I mentioned above are just a reflection of my inner state of being and that they manifest (for me) in this world in this way in order for me to SEE them as part of myself. In light of this idea it would not help at all trying to solve the problems in the outer physical environment. They can only be solved if I resolve the issues that bring them out on the inside. This kind of understanding is also HERE.

And what I experience now very strongly is the conflict between those two ideas: (1) the idea of needing to act in the physical world in order to help resolve the pressing problem humanity is facing and (2) the idea of needing to resolve the problems on the inside first, because that is where the cause resides. And if I were able to do so, they would not show up any longer in the outside physical world I experience.

I feel that both ideas are strongly intertwined and depending on each other. They are cause and effect. But which is the cause, really? Is the cause based in the metaphysical world, in the mind, in the consciousness-system, and thus can never be resolved in the physical world through action? Because if not resolved on the inside, all action that will result from it will only bring out more problems to be mirrored back into our awareness through their physical manifestations?

  • I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to feel overwhelmed by a number of serious problems we currently face in this world, leading to inaction and depression rather than to participation in any solution.
  • I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that I am one of the few who can see those problems clearly while most others in my circle of relationships do not.
  • I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to withdraw into my inner world, isolating myself from myself and others, rather than putting my focus and energy into implementing solutions.
  • I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to feel overburdened by the tasks at hand mainly because I feel I have to do it all alone and without the support of others.
  • I commit myself to communicating more openly with others about the problems I see and together finding solutions, inner and outer, that lead to solutions to those problems.
  • I commit myself to identifying the true causes for my experiences by focusing on my inner life, including the life of my mind, consciousness-system, and the intuition and knowledge that resides deep inside of me, buried under layers and layers of adopted beliefs and belief systems that I tap into every day unconsciously and which are likely in place only to control me, enslave me, and disconnect me from my true inner being, my real essence, my true and authentic self, that which seeks to be expressed in this world for its own reasons and at the same time in order to be of service to this world at large.

Re: Axel's Journey to Life

Posted: 03 Sep 2019, 13:20
by Axel
Tag 3: Ich gehe in die volle Selbstverantwortung für meine Kreationen

Am gegenwärtigen Punkt meiner Entwicklung wird die Idee sehr dominierend, daß meine unbewussten Glaubenssätze die eigentliche Ursache für all die Manifestationen in der äußeren physischen Welt sind, die sich mir dort zeigen und die ich darin erfahre. Ich erkenne, daß alle Glaubenssätze die ich über mich selbst, über andere, und über die Welt insgesamt in mir trage, die eigentliche Ursache für meine Erfahrungen in dieser Welt sind. Auch wenn ich das manchmal nicht glauben möchte, besonders dann nicht, wenn ich mir die Umweltzerstörung, die Kriege und Konflikte der Menschheit, und einige andere Dinge anschaue. Dann fällt es mir sehr schwer die Ursache für diese Effekte in MIR zu sehen.

Und trotzdem kann ich die Idee nicht gehen lassen, daß es tatsächlich so ist, daß ich selber die Ursache für alle diese Dinge bin, und daß ich deswegen auch die Verantwortung dafür trage, all dies zu ändern. Das ist keine angenehme Idee, denn sie ist sehr schwierig und erscheint allein schon aufgrund ihres enormen Umgangs unlösbar.

Gleichzeig wird mir absolut klar, dass alle Veränderung von innen heraus angestoßen werden und vom Einzelnen ausgehen muss. Denn ich erkenne vollständig, dass ich allein der einzige Grund dafür bin, dass ich diese Dinge in meinem Leben erfahre. Sollte ich die Verantwortung dafür nicht akzeptieren, dann würde ich die Verantwortung nur auf andere (Regierungen, Führer, Gurus) abschieben und das Ergebnis davon wäre, daß ich andere für diese Zustände verantwortlich machen würde, wodurch sich absolut nichts ändern würde. Solches Verhalten würde die Dinge nur noch schlimmer machen und das können wir täglich in unserem Umfeld und auf der ganzen Welt sehen und erkennen.

Deswegen ist der erste wichtige Schritt der zu untersuchen und zu verstehen, WARUM ich diese Effekte in der äußeren Welt erzeuge. Was sind die zugrunde liegenden Glaubenssätze über mich selber und die Welt als Ganzes, welche die Effekte und Erfahrungen in meinem Leben hervorbringen, die ich dort erfahre? Nur wenn ich das vollständig verstehe und meine Antworten auf diese Fragen finde kann ich irgend etwas davon ändern.

  • Ich vergebe mir dass ich es akzeptiert und erlaubt habe nicht zu realisieren, daß ich der Grund für die Effekte und Erfahrungen bin, die ich in der äußeren physischen Welt manifestiert sehe.
  • Ich vergebe mir dass ich es akzeptiert und erlaubt habe andere für die Probleme verantwortlich zu machen die ich in dieser Welt sehe, ohne zu
  • verstehen dass es nicht sie sind sondern ich selbst, der diese Dinge hervorbringt.
  • Ich vergebe mir dass ich es akzeptiert und erlaubt habe mich abzuwenden von der Erkenntnis meiner Verantwortung für die Welt, die ich täglich sehe und erfahre, weil ich zu schwach bin dieser Verantwortung gegenüber zu treten und mich stattdessen lieber allen möglichen Genüssen und sinnlosen Ablenkungen hingebe, sodaß ich meiner Schwäche und Verantwortung diesen Dingen nicht ständig gegenüber treten muss.
  • Ich verpflichte mich der Realität dessen, was ist, gegenüber zu treten und die volle Verantwortung dafür zu übernehmen.
  • Ich verpflichte mich nicht mehr die Augen vor den Dingen zu verschließen, die ich nicht mag an mir selber, an anderen, oder der Welt insgesamt, und stattdessen diesen Problemen gegenüber zu treten, weil ich erkenne, daß ich die Ursache dafür bin und sonst niemand dafür verantwortlich gemacht werden kann.
  • Ich verpflichte mich aufzustehen und die Dinge anzugehen die ich als "falsch" in dieser Welt betrachte und sie ebenso als meine eigenen "Fehler" zu sehen, sodaß ich eine Lösung dafür finden und an ihrer Richtigstellung (was auch immer das bedeutet) arbeiten kann.
  • Ich verpflichte mich klarer heraus zu arbeiten, was ich als "falsch" und "richtig" in dieser Welt betrachte und es zu akzeptieren, daß diese Welt, mit allen ihren Manifestationen die ich als "falsch" und "richtig" bezeichne, meine eigene Kreation ist, und dass diese Kreationen dazu da sind mich mit meinen Glaubenssätzen und Überzeugungen zu konfrontieren.
  • Ich verpflichte mich meine Ideen über "falsch" und "richtig", so wie sie sich HIER und JETZ durch ihre Manifestationen zeigen, zu akzeptieren und neu zu bewerten, sodaß ich aufgrund dieser Erkenntnis einen neuen Aktionsweg HIER und JETZT bestimmen kann, der zu einer veränderten Reflektion durch diese Welt führt.
  • Ich verpflichte mich all die Glaubenssätze und Ideen abzulegen, die mir, den Menschen, dem Leben, der Erde, und sogar dem gesamten Universum nichts nützen. Denn ich verstehe, daß ich allein der einzige Grund für diese Manifestationen in meinem lokalen Universum (der Sphäre die alle meine Kreationen beinhaltet und in der ich mich selber und andere erfahre) bin, und diese Glaubenssätze durch solche zu ersetzen, die mich, die Menschen, alles Leben, die Erde, und sogar das Universum unterstützen.
  • Ich verpflichte mich meine Augen nicht mehr davor zu schließen und mich abzuwenden von unangenehmen Erfahrungen, weil ich verstehe, daß ich der alleinige Grund für diese Erfahrungen bin, daß sie mich wichtige Lektionen lehren, und dass diese Erfahrungen eine große Gelegenheit bieten "falsche" und "richtige" Glaubenssätze zu erkennen, die ich irgendwo in mir trage, und sie ans Licht der Erkenntnis zu bringen, sodaß ich die Gelegenheit habe sie genau HIER und JETZT in etwas besseres zu transformieren.
  • Ich verpflichte mich aufmerksam mir selber und meinen Glaubenssätzen, meinen Aktivitäten und Reaktionen, gegenüber zu bleiben, besonders dann, wenn eine unangenehmen Erfahrung auftritt die ich gerne vermeiden oder aus der ich gerne flüchten würde, oder für die ich lieber andere verantwortlich machen würde.
  • Ich verpflichte mich solchen unangenehmen Erfahrungen gegenüber zu treten sobald sie auftreten, indem ich mich für einen Moment stoppe, genau hinschaue, und jetzt und hier untersuche was genau es ist, das ich zu vermeiden versuche, wobei ich die Situation offen und ehrlich konfrontiere und niemanden anders dafür verantwortlich mache, als mich selber.
  • Ich verpflichte mich alle Erfahrungen als Gelegenheit zur Transformation zu betrachten. Anstatt zu fragen "wer ist dafür verantwortlich" werde ich fragen "wie kann ich diese Situation in etwas besseres überführen", wobei ich die jeweilige Erfahrung als meine eigene Kreation akzeptiere, welche es mir durch ihr Auftreten erlaubt hat meine zugrundeliegenden Glaubenssätze zu identifizieren und ans Licht der Erkenntnis zu bringen, sodaß sie für das angenommen und erkannt werden können, was sie mir zeigen wollten und nun in etwas besseres transformiert werden können. ... kreationen