Desteni Forum

Day 395: Politics and News
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To keep up with what is happening in the world I have begun reading the news regularly. At the moment – the big news in Sweden is that we have difficulties creating a government. The political parties cannot come together – they are too far apart in their political views – and instead squabble, argue and debate. I find this interesting in many respects.

One point that fascinates me is the very notion of democracy and different political views. The popular consensus in Sweden is that democracy, freedom of thought and pluralism are good things that allow us to have a functional society. My one question is – how are we even able to have different opinions about how to make decisions for our country? If everyone wanted what is best for everyone – which in my world is the natural position to take – would we even have different political parties? Would there be a need for such a thing if we came together to create what is best for everyone?

No – and that is why political parties is an externalization of our separation from what is best for all. It is a reflection of our inner division where we have defined ourselves as an individual, separate from the whole, apparently entitled to our own opinions. And oh my god, there are so many opinions. The newspaper is literally invaded with opinions. Each of us wants our opinion to be the best opinion – and get attention for our opinion. We become tied to and define ourselves according to our opinions – and then look for a political party that aligns with our opinions. However – what if we did not have opinions? And instead – we had a will to understand, forgive and formulate the best possible ways to live for everyone? Democracy would not be needed in such a world.

We have accepted a dwarfish way of life and our parties reflect this back to us. No party offers any particularly new or revolutionary ways to deal with the real problems that exists in this world. It is just the same old shit over and over again. Monetary growth, more jobs and less expenses – individual survival trumping the will to make life good for all of us. It is as if we are so settled into the current way of life that we believe it is the only way of life. However – it would be pretty easy to change a lot of bad things in society – if we would come together and make an effort. Unfortunately we are divided, split into opinions, groups, subgroups, cultures and subcultures – all of us with our own individual life, individual desires, wants and needs, and goals we want to reach – and all of this serves to keep us dwarfed.

This is why I easily become bored and frustrated when I read about politics. It is just – for a lack of a better word – meaningless. There is no substance it – no understanding – no drive to make the BEST out of life – there is only that weak and diluted voice of survival – opinions about things without any purpose. And a recurring aspect in newspapers is the investigation of problems – there are so many problems discussed – and once and a while – there might be a solution. And when a solution is discussed – usually it will be criticized in some form of debate article or chronicle. Newspapers function the same way as our minds – a lot of words, reactions, games, experiences, tons of movement – however no substance. It feels as if there is a lot going on – but on a deeper level – most articles are empty and the majority of news is only put out there in the search of selling more newspapers.

However – looking beyond all the negative aspects with newspapers – what I appreciate about them is that I am able to follow along in movements of the world and learn more about society and the country that I live in. And to end of with a solution – if we overlook the gossipy, propagandist, fear-mongering aspects of news and politics – and look at the structures – the information that in there somewhere – usually there are some cool things to learn.

Day 398: Eqafe – Probably the Best Self-Help Library That There Is
https://dreamersjourneytolife.wordpress ... -there-is/

I have been a user of Eqafe since its inception and seen the self-help library grow, from a couple of interviews, to an impressive selection of several thousands of interviews covering a myriad of topics. And this is somewhat a hallmark of Eqafe – consistent and continuous growth. And even though the interviews are at this point ranging in their thousands, there has never been an interview that I have listened to, where I have felt as if it was becoming repetitive. There is such a variety, such a creativity, freedom and depth in the recordings – it is truly remarkable.

When I have faced difficulties, or questions has arisen, the Eqafe library has been my go-to resource. It has seldom failed to bring a new understanding or insight to what I have been walking through. Whether I have been looking into issues with regards to relationships and sex, or in relation to my career – the search function on the Eqafe site has supplied me with answers. And what truly makes Eqafe fascinating is that you do not get the normal lovey-dovey, fluffy, positive, new age advice. You get the hard facts. That might not necessarily be very nice – or what you want to hear. Though fact is that we are not the pleasant, sane, and cordial people we want ourselves and everyone else to believe. The truth is that we are all in some way fucked up. However – the truth is as well that we can change ourselves – and Eqafe supplies the PRACTICAL tools to make that transformation a reality. Here I want to emphasize PRACTICAL. You will not need to listen to advice that makes no sense – like for example – that you should ‘love yourself with all of your love-energy and then send that out into the world with a thought’. No, no – you will get a practical suggestion on how to deal with a point – a step-by-step method. I would say that this is what separates Eqafe from the other self-help gurus you are able to find on the web. In Eqafe – things are kept real, grounded, accessible and applicable.

Eqafe has impacted many aspects of my life, though one of the most memorable is with regards to my studies and my career. Early on in my university studies I had difficulties creating relationships and get a hang of the social games that were being played. It frustrated me – and I noticed that I was usually paying more attention to these games – than to the studies at hand. Then I found a interview on Eqafe – where this behavioral pattern was addressed. It was explained that relationships in school are not as valuable as we want to think. Most of them end after school. Very few remain – and still – we put SO MUCH energy into creating and maintaining them. And in-fact – the reason why so many of us dislike school is because we get so immersed in the social role-playing that we forget all about who we are, where we are and where it is that we are going. We forget that it is in school, with our grades, and our in-depth learning, that we are shaping our future. It is that productive time that is going to stick with us and help us get ahead. Not how many parties we went to or what friends we managed to acquire.

After I had listened to the recording I made some practical adjustments to the way I approached my studies and the social circles. I decided to put my focus and attention unto the courses at hand – that became my main priority. I decided to align with people that were as intently focused on their studies and on their future as I were. Thus I picked my friends because of our interest in the subjects, drive in school and our future. My relationship to friends and acquaintances changed to become a positive side-effect to my determination with my studies and something that enhanced my participation in school and it was not a goal in itself. And that made a huge difference to me – and it allowed me to move through my university studies, acquire effective marks and a deep as well as lasting understanding of the course materials. I sometimes surprise myself by having a detailed knowledge and understanding of a topic even though it has been several years since I finished school and studied the subject.

I can honestly say that without Eqafe – I would not be where I am today. It is the greatest self-help library on earth – and I would dearly recommend everyone to subscribe. You will not regret it – and you will have several years of investigation and studies ahead of you because the material is vast. It has been one of the best investment I have ever made and that will definitely be the case for you as well – because the investments we make in ourselves both in our formal and informal education – that is what is going to stand the test of time and last for life.

Day 399: Directing Fear
https://dreamersjourneytolife.wordpress ... ting-fear/

Having a career can be pretty stressful. To me – the stress is primarily related to three aspects. One aspect is performance anxiety or in other words – the fear of making mistakes. The second aspect is the fear of not being successful. The third aspect is the responsibility that a position of influence/power entails. In my line of work – If or a moment take responsibility for important parts of someone else’s life – and hence – I can cause major consequences if I am not thorough and specific.

All three of these aspects are part of the anxiety I at times experience towards my work. And the fact is that I enjoy my work a lot – it fits my character and skill set perfectly. Thus – when I am able to let go of tensions and get into my happy-place – work is fun, challenging, stimulating and interesting. However – when I get caught in the mentioned fears – work becomes a weight on my shoulders. It is fascinating to see just how much perspective and my emotional participation in relation to a point in my world changes the way I experience that point. It is literally like two different worlds – even though it is the same kind of work.

My conclusion is that I have to let go of these three fears. And in this blog my aim is to design corrective solutions to each of these fears.

Fear of making mistakes

Finding a corrective statement to the fear of making mistakes is pretty easy to me. I already clearly see that unless you dare to make mistakes – you will not progress. Mistakes, failures, mishaps, difficulties, problems, that is fertile soil for growth, development, expansion and movement. If everything is just perfect all the time – we are either not sufficiently critical or – we do not challenge ourselves enough. Both are pretty bad. Thus – a healthy portion of mistakes is an indication that we are in a challenging position and that we have an opportunity to improve. Obviously though – making the same mistake 2-3 times might indicate something different – such as arrogance for example.

Thus – when I become anxious and worried that I am making, or I have made a mistake, I instead change into looking at how I am able to improve and expand. I look at what I can learn and become better at – and allow myself to be grateful that I have seen that there is something I have to practice and expand upon. And I dare myself to go for it – and understand that mistakes is a natural part of growth – and that what matters is that I learn from my mistakes and correct myself.

Fear of not being successful

The fear of not being successful is interesting. It is like the fear in itself hinders success – because what will that fear create? It will hesitation, doubt, worry, insecurity – characteristics that does not induce success. To be successful – I have to be bold. I move when see that there is an opportunity and do not hold myself back – and if failure strikes – no need to become emotional – I simply re-aim and yet again focus on what I want and where I want to get to.

Success requires me to be determined, patient and motivated – and I have to keep my focus on what I want to achieve. Each and every fear energy that comes up within me will only cause me to shift my attention and focus from what I want – to a pretty worthless experience that I simply do not need. And if I do not manage to reach success – well there is nothing to do about it. In all cases – I would not have achieved success if I was afraid of not achieving it. Hence – my corrective statement will be to go forward boldly – to move, act, walk, and direct – to grab the opportunities and keep the momentum – and keep in my vision the future I want to create.

Fear of responsibility

The fear of responsibility is an interesting one – because it is not necessarily the responsibility that I fear – it is rather what happens if I do not handle the responsibility in such a way that everyone involved are pleased. Thus – it is the fear of being the target of criticism later on. And not because I fear criticism from others – it is because I tend to judge myself harshly when I do not meet my own standards. Hence the real face of the fear is that of fearing my own judgment.

However – what I can see is that responsibility is a skill – it is something that I will learn, become more comfortable within, and get better at doing as I practice – and as is the case with so many other things – I will naturally fail sometimes as it is a part of the expansion. And it does not help anyone that I judge myself when I fail. I need to be able to stand and look at my mistakes objectively, learn from it and enhance my ability to take responsibility for the life’s of others – just as I must learn to expand this responsibility towards my own life.

Thus – what I will state to myself when this fear arises is that I am going to push myself to take responsibility – and I am going to learn from my mistakes and failures and expand. And I will stand and practice to stand as this responsibility naturally and comfortably – and understand that this is simply me extending my responsibility unto others. Hence – it is nothing to fear – nothing to judge – it is a learning process.

Conclusion

Fears are interesting – they always indicate a misalignment – a point where I have not sufficiently created and directed myself. Hence – fears are show us opportunities for expansion – where we exist in a state of being diminished and where we are able to go beyond our beliefs. It is problematic when we fear our fears – however easy to understand. Fear is an uncomfortable experience – and easily convinces us that something is TERRIBLY wrong. Though – if we would slow down, take a breath, and study the nature of the fear – there are definitely many gifts to be found.

Day 401: The Less Walked Path
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My wife and I are in the process of arranging how we are going to move forwards with our daughter in terms of daycare. It is not a easy process – because the system is designed to facilitate a type of daycare that neither of us are satisfied with. And to do something different – a lot of effort is required. This is what I would like to explore in this blog – how the system as it currently functions has certain known paths that are a lot easier to move upon – and that there are alternative paths but that these are more difficult. And a weakness I have noticed in myself is that I will rather pick the easy path instead of picking the path I want – because the easier path is predictable and safe – while the difficult path requires effort, courage, determination and steadfastness.

I have several reasons why I tend to pick the easier path. One is that it makes me feel comfortable – I think that if everyone else does it – then it must be okay – because everyone else cannot be wrong, right? Though deep down I do understand that the mass is many, many times completely out of touch with reality. This is for example what happens in the creation of financial bubbles. A lot of people come together and form a belief that some form of asset is really valuable and that it will continue to raise in value infinitely. And then the price of this asset is pushed up until people start to question the value of the asset, or some other event occurs, that suddenly implodes the belief that the asset is infinitely going to raise in value. Then it drops, fast, and many lose their money in the process.

Thus far in my life I have made a couple of decision where I went against the grain and it has been difficult each time – primarily because I doubted myself. An interesting point however is that I am now very satisfied with these decisions and how they have played out. Because when I went against the grain I made sure that I did the research and that I knew what I was doing. That was something I needed to do as I could not rely on this feeling of safety that I am able to derive from seeing many others doing the same thing. Obviously that feeling of safety is irrational and deceptively reassuring. The only way of achieving real certainty with a decision is by doing my own independent research.

It is also not possible to trust the decisions that others make because many times they themselves do not know what they are doing. Outwardly they can present a cool, collected and rational facade – however internally – they can be driven by a variety of desires, fears, anxieties and or the deceptive feeling of safety that following the herd can create. Very few people make extensive research before committing. An example of this would be the current tendency to move to bigger cities and leave the smaller countryside cities. Many do this in the belief that it is going to provide them with a better quality of life. However – the facts in my country of origin indicate the opposite – which is way I decided to position myself in a smaller city. I doubted that decision a lot – though in retrospect I am able to see that my estimations were correct.

If we go back to the reasons as to why I tend to pick the easier path. A second of these is that it does not require much effort. When I go with the flow, there is already a system in place, I do not have do any creative work, as everything is already developed and streamlined – all I have to do is step into the stream and it will take me where I wish to go. Hence – I can sit back, relax, and not have to worry – and rest in the false belief that everything is taken care of. That is not how it works when I decide to go against the flow. Then I have to work to find solutions, I have to put in effort and move through physical and mental barriers to reach my goal. And many times I cannot be sure on the outcome. Even though I put in the hours – it does automatically imply that I will succeed. And that is also something that I fear. I do not want failure, mistakes and falling in my life – though that is what I am at risk of experiencing when I decide to travel upon the path least chosen. I will not be certain until I reach my destination – whereas when I chose the path of least resistance – I can rest in the comfortable feeling that everything will be all right.

I do understand that my reasons for wanting to pick the easier path are irrational and primarily based on desiring an easy life. Though what if I decide to be satisfied with an easy life and just following the path of least resistance – where is that going to leave me? Is it ever possible to be genuinely satisfied if I just do what comes naturally and easy for me? Will I ever feel as if I have created something if I go into an already established structure? I will have to say that I need challenges to grow and that there is no reason for me not to try to create the life I really want instead of settling for a mediocre existence that feels safe. The notion of safety is very deceptive as well – because even though I might feel safe, comfortable and secure with my decisions – everything can change in an instance. My house can burn down, war can erupt, nature catastrophes can strike – hence we are never really safe and secure – there is always a risk.

Thus – the path less walked will be my route of choice – challenging myself, doing new things, and venturing into new directions, that is what makes life exciting. And failures will be a part of a new direction – that is inevitable. And thus – we should never view failures as something negative and bad – it is simply part of the learning process, part of the expansion, and it shows where we are not yet mastering our new direction.

Day 403: Directing Conflicts
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The theme of my week has been conflicts, primarily in relation to money, however it has also touched other subjects. It has been interesting, because I have been both on the receiving end of criticism and complaints as well as on the giving end of criticism and complaints. Having had a taste of both worlds – it opened up some interesting realizations.

I realized that the normal way we tend to approach dissatisfaction with products/services is by anger/frustration. We feel harmed and unjustly treated – and we approach the other person in that state of anger/frustration and discontent. Oftentimes this results in more conflict, more irritation, more anger, and more confusion. We start to fight instead of coming up with solutions – and we believe that the other person is out to get us – instead of seeing that it could be a honest mistake – and that we could potentially have a mature, and stable discussion about what we are unsatisfied with and find a solution together.

A better way to approach conflicts is by being humble, being open to hearing the other perspective and being open to consider solutions that are mutually effective. Disputes where both parties decide to go full on for their own desired outcome with no quarters are really destructive. In a best-case scenario, one of the parties’ wins – in a worst-case scenario – both lose. Fighting, it always creates losers, which is why it is pretty fascinating to see how often we choose this route. And it is not because of reasons that we can explain rationally, it is because of how we feel – and we seek our perceived version of justice through the conflict. The problem is that we seldom see the problem, the area of conflict, with any clarity because everything is very much shrouded by our own self-interest – and having regard and empathy for our opponent can in such a case feel like a weakness. Though it is the ability to keep a cool head and place ourselves in the position of the other party that will allow us to find a solution that is going to work both for the other and us.

Another difficult emotional experience that can make conflicts hard to solve is idea that we have to stand by our feeling of being wronged because it is a matter of principle. The problem is that the ‘principled’ party is unable to consider anything else but their own principle, or rather, their own emotional experience. The ‘principled’ party will thus seldom be able to expand their seeing to take into consideration the other party as well – and will oftentimes stick to their demands stubbornly. And there will be a great fear of letting go of the emotional experience because of the belief, that if we do, then we have admitted defeat. That is obviously not the case. Defeat is subjective, and in the case of conflicts, defeat would be to not find a solution that is effective and works for both parties.

Conflicts are a natural, recurring and big part of social life. It comes through in nearly all type of relationships, whether with humans or animals. Learning to deal with conflicts is because of that an important skill to acquire. A basic component of dealing with conflicts effectively is communication. I would say that bad communication and the consequential misunderstandings are the prime reason for the creation and continuation of conflicts.

Recently I have watched a Danish TV series that is about a collective with young people that are brought together in order to research their personalities and behaviors. Naturally, many conflicts, emotional experiences and misunderstandings occur. For example, two people initiate a sexual relationship hurriedly. One of them does not see a future with the relationship, the other falls in love. Neither of them communicates their experiences. Thus the one that is not interested in continuing feels bogged down and stalked and the one feeling in love feels rejected and becomes increasingly sad and emotional. And the conflict is created because neither party communicates about how they feel, their intentions and their aspirations.

The reasons why we decide to not communicate in such situations probably differ from person to person. If it would be me, I would most likely hold back because of fear of being vulnerable. However others might not share their experience because they believe the other person already knows. Sometimes we become so lost in our thoughts, and they become such a big part of our life, that we believe that everyone else has access to them as well. However, that is not the case. In order to break through and find solutions we must dare to be vulnerable and also understand that we cannot expect anyone to understand unless we have communicated and clarified our position. It is basic common sense and still it is normal to lack such basic skills of communication.

Another example that read of in a book about learning how to negotiate is the following. Worker A is pissed off because his chief B always selects him to lead the one of the most physically exhausting undertakings. He thinks that B is singling him out and is punishing him. Thus A decides to contact his union and refuse to follow orders. B on the other hand reasons that because A is one of is best and most trusted workers, he chooses A to head the difficult undertaking, because then B knows that the job gets done. This is a clear-cut example of how the lack of communication creates conflicts. If A would have voiced himself and if B would have explained is reasoning, there would most likely not have been any issue between the two.

Thus, to summarize: To avoid conflicts, effective communication, empathy and openness are required. We must embrace the possibility that the other party is not necessarily evil, but that there might be a misunderstanding or a miss-match of expectations. Through communication we are able to find and resolve differences and establish solutions that work for both parties.

Day 405: Changing Perspective
https://dreamersjourneytolife.wordpress ... rspective/

In my life lately I have had some conflicts related to a contractor and the work that he has done. In summary – he did not do his job properly and I have been trying to come to an agreement with him on how to proceed. It did not work out – and I decided to move on without him. The entire situation has been a learning experience. At first – I viewed everything from my own individual stance. In that sense, it felt like I had been unjustly treated, harmed and that I held a right to be angry, frustrated and resentful towards the contractor. However – I worked with reactions and as I did the point of wanting to see and understand the greater pattern opened up – how this tendency of conflicts between contractors and consumers exists in society at large.

In my line work, I see this problem a lot. There are many problems that can arise when buying cars, houses or when you are building your house and hiring a contractor to do it. Massive faults and errors can occur shortly after the purchase. And oftentimes the only way for the disfavored party to get some money back is to sue or threaten to sue. However the court procedure is awfully ineffective and very expensive. Lawyers cost a lot of money and a good case does not necessarily mean that you are going to win. Hence – you are thrown into a form of casino.

I looked at why this pattern exists and I could see that the contractor is motivated by his own self-interest and fear of survival to take on as much work as possible, even though he is not qualified, and even though he might not have the time or interest to do it properly. The money system as it exist also push the contractor to be dishonest and make sure he or she receives the most amount of money for the least amount of cost/work – which then also create a imbalance towards the consumer that gets lesser quality compared to the value of his money. The consumer on the other exist in the different spectrum. Because of the money system and the survival mechanisms it exists within, the consumer will push the price as much as possible, so that he can get as much value as is possible for the money he puts into the purchase. In that sense, the consumer is equally trying to harm the contractor. It becomes a game of winning and losing – and sometimes you are on the winning side and other times you are on the losing side.

The consequence is that distrust and fear is created between people in the system. Everyone thinks that nobody cares about another – that it is every man for himself – and then they act the same. The fear of survival is a dangerous experience that cause people to act without integrity or humanity. And still we believe that fear of survival and the competition it creates is good for the economy – that it is good for economic growth. Nothing could be farther from the truth. For the average man on the street, this competition creates the world into a casino, where every larger transaction can either become a failure or success.

In a system where money would be ensured this problem would not exist. Imagine having no fear in the world that the contractor would not do his job to the best of his ability – and imagine being reassured that even though something went wrong – you would have plenty of help. In a system of true care and support – the situation that someone is left to their demise would not exist. And such a world is possible. We do not have to be satisfied and content with what is currently here. It is possible to create world that is best for everyone – where the contractor would have no fear of survival and express himself because building is his passion – and where the consumer has no fear of survival and plenty of money to support the contractor to become the best that he can be.

Thus – what I have learned is not to blame or get caught in the individual situations that occur in this world system – because the problem is always much bigger – it is systematic in nature. Looking at things as an individual limits us from seeing what is best for everyone – and from seeing solutions that will benefit everyone. It instead puts us in a state of survival – where we will do everything to win – at all costs.

Self-forgiveness

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to look at the system from a individual perspective – and the points that open up in my life as ‘my problems’ and thus react in blame, fear, anxiety, distress, anger, and want to win and fight for my existence – and within this I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not take a step back and view the systematic error – to look at how the problem has been created and what is the actual cause and how it can be changed into a support for everyone – and thus approach things within oneness and equality instead of fear

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to get caught in blame because of the perceived injustices in my particular case, where I feel like I have not received that which I paid for – and thus I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to become dissatisfied, angry, and resentful, and only see things from my own limited perspective, instead of expanding my perspective, to view everything from a perspective of oneness and equality and what is best for all

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to get caught in blame and resentment because I feel like I have not been respected properly, and I have lost the game of the money system, and now I am the loser – and thus I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to put the focus on me personally, to take it personally, to react personally, and forget about the other party, forget about the small situations and decisions that led up to this point, to not look at the system in its entirety and how it is designed to create situations as this one, because it is not built to facilitate mutually beneficial human relations

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to react towards and define the word loser as something bad and negative, and react when I perceive myself as being a loser, thinking that it is something shameful and bad, and that I have to immediately take back the ground lost by attacking and moving myself fast to destroy the opposition so that I can feel like a winner again – and thus I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not remind myself that winner and loser, these are human concepts, based on the notion of competition and that it is possible to put a value on someone based on the outcome in the competition – however in reality we are all equal in flesh and blood – and we are all of the one and same substance – the dirt of the earth – and thus the idea of a competition and the notion of a winner and a loser is a mind fuck

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not find a solution that benefits everyone – and to even though there has been many ripples, conflicts and emotions, to find a way out that is best for all, a direction that works – and to use this as an opportunity to practice my ability to forgive, to embrace and to let go – because I see, realize and understand, that I can only ever hold something against myself

Self-commitment statements

I commit myself to embrace the world, to embrace the fucked up situation that exists when it comes to contractors and consumers, to embrace and forgive, and move in this world, but not of this world – and to find solutions that works and that brings through the respect for life that is equal in everyone – and thus I commit myself to stop taking things personally – to forgive and let go – and instead build on solutions that are best for all

I commit myself to make decisions in stability – to not accept and allow myself to become worked up and haste – but to slow down and to find solutions and ways to go about the situation that is effective and that creates a mutually effective outcome that is best for everyone involved

Day 407: Corrupt Politics
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I find politics pretty interesting. The thing I have such a difficulty wrapping my head around is how there can be several opinions on the best way to run society – and how the different parties are able to debate on these matters. From my point of view there should not be any conflict. We should be able to see and mathematically prove the best way of organizing society. We are able to do this with medicine, in physics and engineering, how come society should be so difficult? How come we have accepted the notion that when it comes to humanities, all types of opinions and ideas are in a way valid?

The only reason I can find as to why politics is so corrupted with opinions and so lacking in mathematics is because we, the voters, are possessed with our self-interest. We vote on the party and the view that best suits our fears and desires – and because what matters to us is our self-interest – all facts can be challenged and debated – shifted, turned and shredded – in order to fit the vision we have for our own life. It is pretty astounding that we are able to deceive ourselves to this extent – to believe that our politics are actually real, that they matter, and that they are based on rational ideologies – when it is in-fact just a mishmash of self-interest.

If the voters would be steered by common sense, there would not be conflicting parties and ideologies. There would be ONE party – the party that is dedicated to realizing practical politics that is best for all. And this ONE party would investigate each policy change by applying mathematics. It is not harder than that. It only becomes hard, difficult and complex when you a myriad of individualists only caring for their own self-interest. My hope is that we as humanity in the future will come together and define our life on the basis of this notion – what is best for all. I cringe when I hear people saying that the current lottery of life is simply ‘the way it is’ and when I see it in their eyes that they have accepted the current world setup as is. It is fascinating – that we believe everything must be the way that it is now – just because it has been so in the past. My take on it is that we could change our world pretty fast into a heaven – however that would need us to drop our self-interest, our excuses, our justifications, and give to support everyone, and not just ourselves.

The one realization that I have had, in terms of how society works, is that our society cannot be better than the worst of us. If we have people that have become abused, battered, left in poverty and misery – then this is going to create many serious consequences – also for those that manage to create somewhat of a good and comfortable life. So many things could be sorted out if we would decide to share the resources on earth equally between everyone and stop justifying why we should not. There is no right of ownership in reality – it is made up – and it is a abstract theory that has caused a lot of suffering – because people are being withheld the things they need to survive. And still – we all accept it – and most of us are terrified that ownership will disappear. And that is we communism is fought so fervently – it represents communal ownership and putting the commune before the individual.

Though I would say that the solution is neither in capitalism or in communism – the solution resides within each of us. If we all begin to care for one another and treat one another as we would like to be treated – we are going to build the foundation for a awesome world. And it will not be possible to wait for anyone else to do it first. We must be the front-runners. Those of us that are able to see that the our care and love must be lived in thought, word and deed – we must be the first to change and create our living according to the ideals we know are the best for everyone.

Thus – politics – it is a load of bullshit – unless it is mathematically tested and proven to create the best outcome for everyone. Ideologies is a load of crap, unless it is about mathematics. We can talk all day about liberalism and democracy – though unless we realize love for one another in the physical – it will be worth nothing. Hence – that is how I am going to work with politics in my life – it is will be my contribution to create a world that is best for everyone.

Day 408: Give and You Will Receive
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I am oftentimes surprised seeing how much motivation, drive, ambition and devotion money can conjure. The moment we have an opportunity to make money, we become different. And it is also fascinating to see the way priority shifts the instance money is involved. Then we do not think twice about putting in the hours, the effort and the work. This is why capitalism appears to work and why we have concluded that it is enough and sufficient to build a society on the basis of greed. However, there is one massive problem with capitalism – it effectively shuts down any attempt at creating what is best for ALL life – because that is not economical. The very foundation of capitalism is that only one is able to win. It is about grabbing resources and transforming these into money – regardless of the consequences. In capitalism, consequences does not matter, only money measures level of success.

And thus, when information is shared, that people lack food, housing, proper sanitation, and medical care, this seldom arouses any interest in the majority of people. And that is because there is no money to be made. It is problematic that money has become our prime motivator. It is such a limited motivator. We value our effort, our progress, our successes and failures in money, however building a functional society is about much more than earning more money. For example, investing a lot of energy, effort and money in supporting the poor, and the least empowered members of society, that will initially be seen as a waste of money – however on a humanitarian level, and also, seen in a greater perspective, such an investment will bring about harmony, balance and a greater level of support between people. Somehow though, this seems to elude us, and instead we measure success with money and with very, very short time frames.

The people that support capitalism and that wants to further its domination are the same people that have managed to acquire a level of wealth and power. These also tend to be the same people that want to use more police, security and harder punishments to quell crime, and use threats and excommunications to solve homelessness, drug abuse and other socioeconomic disorders. These people also tend to become utterly surprised and dismayed when they themselves or their world comes into contact with the brute chaos caused by economic disparity – and blame the people causing this rift in their life. However – what is missed is that the world – society – is one unit. If only one individual is winning, that is going to cause a loss elsewhere in the system – and that loss is going to impact the effectiveness of the system as a whole. Hence – what we miss is the ability to look at the wholeness of the system – and see the cause and effect of our actions or inaction. And one of the most understated causes of suffering in this world is socioeconomic dis-empowerment.

The lack of money and the imbalance of money that is created by capitalism is the source of many, many problems, that could be avoided, if we would employ a more benevolent way of sharing our monies. In my own country of origin, we have successfully for many years managed to balance much of the income inequalities and invest in projects meant the strengthen the poor. It created a empowered middle class and a enormous leap in terms of the welfare of the greater population. I would say that to some extent we managed to create a sense of safety for the average human being – a sense that he or she would be taken care of if the worst would happen. Those days might be gone, however, the vision, and the documentation of what was created, that still exists, and that is able to be reproduced.

Investments in the poor looks like is misunderstood as a waste of money for the rich, however, it is an investment in society as a whole – and when society does great – we do great as individuals – that is the truth that must be accepted for us to be able to advance. If we would live in a world with empowered, educated, strong and self-willed people, with integrity, we would have a different world. For that to come to pass, we must rethink the way we distribute our incomes. Everyone must be allowed to come aboard the ship.

Day 409: Relationships and Connections
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I am on a base level a content and satisfied person. I usually feel at peace with myself and I enjoy spending time alone. Hence – I have no real drive to establish and maintain relationships with other people – and that is problematic. Because relationships add a lot of value for both parties. It is a mutual exchange of experiences and expressions that takes place that usually supports both individuals to expand. Without relationships, it is easy to get stuck in a state of isolation. And isolation literally means that movement stops, I become stuck as ICE – because I do not receive new ideas and perspectives from my external reality. That is why it is important for me to motivate myself to reach out to others.

However – I have also realized that I need to reach out on my terms. This means that I do not seek friendship relationships, where time is spent ‘hanging out’ – because that is not my thing. My preference is to act, to do, to create, and to learn and thus I seek contact with people that value such a lifestyle. And I seek contexts that support mutual creation and movement. For example, I really enjoy developing connections with others that are in my line of work. We have our work in common, and when we meet, we discuss and open up perspectives in relation to our careers. I find that very rewarding – and I can also contribute to others. I have also joined several societies, one that works to better the life of the locals, one that work to promote human rights, and another that is engaged with politics. In these societies I meet new people and I get to engage and create as well.

I see many, especially older people, that have problems reaching out and developing new relationships. The reason for that, as I have come to understand relationships, is that we fail to engage in meaningful contexts with others – and we instead wait for relationships to develop similar to how they did when we were younger. Back then, in school, relationships blossomed and grew automatically, and most kids had similar interests – to play and have fun. When we get older, it does not work the same. We are more individualized, less open and curious, and thus we cannot expect relationships to just come to us, we have to actively put ourselves into positions where we can engage with others – and we have to actively push ourselves to relate, communicate, share and interact.

Thus – for me – I understand that my natural disposition is to want to be alone – and that is also my comfort zone. And because of that I have to push and will myself to get out there. And it does initially feel a bit uncomfortable meeting new people. People are complex, multi-dimensional, and have a variety of different experiences. Each new person is like getting reading a new book – it takes time and effort to get into it. You have to be attentive and focused – you have to ask questions – put yourself in their shoes and be willing to invest yourself.

One point that I have seen in myself is that I tend to view relationships only from my vantage point – meaning what I can GET from the relationship. That is very limited – however – that is how most people function. We look at what we are able to receive – and not at what we are able to give. This dynamic tends to limit not only others, as we hold unto our gifts and refuse to share them, but they also limit us, because we do not get develop the maturity of character, empathy, compassion and love, that is fostered when engage in giving unconditionally. Giving is undervalued. It is common to see giving similarly to how we perceive loss – and maybe from our individual standpoint – it is a loss. However – if we look at this world and the people in it as ONE unit – where we are only as good as the worst of us are – then it becomes obvious that each action we partake that impact the larger group positively – will also – in time impact us positively. Hence – when the group is strong – the individual is strong.

Relationships is what makes the world go around – and as for me – I can see that is important to engage with the world and its relationships in order to contribute to the whole and to the betterment of humanity. Those of us that have gifts, we need to find our forums, our contexts, our connections and give of ourselves without expecting anything in return. That is how we are going to put new principles and ideas into the world – by getting out there and living them together with others.

Day 411: Connection and Leadership
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Today I decided to apply the words ‘interaction’ and ‘connection’ – and these are words that I am not naturally inclined to live. What comes easy to me are words like structure, discipline and focus – words that I have mostly applied in work settings – and they are pretty far away from the soft expressions of interaction and connection – even though structure, discipline and focus can also enhance and deepen interaction and connection.

When I experimented with the word connection – I could see that it is an active movement within me to decide to relate and engage with whatever is here in my reality. Thus – it is not necessarily about connecting with human beings even though that is definitely one of the more challenging aspects of living connection. No – connection is more of a spiritual stance – a way of being. Let me give an example.

I was out in the greenhouse replanting my tomato plants. They outgrew their seedling pots and needed bigger containers to allow their roots to spread. I brought up the word ‘connection’ within me and looked at how I could apply it. And then I saw that I could engage with the tomatoes – feel them – sense them – and nourish them with the gentleness of my touch as I slowly removed the old pot and inserted the plants into their new home. And even though I was doing the same thing – replanting the tomatoes – I experienced it completely different – and remaining in that ‘connection’ also required an effort. It had to push myself to be aware, to stay connected, present, close to the plants – and unless I pushed myself – it was easy for me to lose my touch and become led astray inside my mind – by placing attention on meaningless thoughts – preoccupation to not remain centered here.

Since I started experimenting with living this word I have noticed within me a greater urge to share myself with others – it is as if I am opening up within me this relationship of giving and receiving that exists everywhere. I have realized that we all have something to give – we all have a point where we are meant to stand and share ourselves. And it is not a static point – it is a flexible and ongoing movement that depends on our context and on everyone else. When we are strong in a part of our lives – then it is our point to step in as leaders and share our insights and solutions and help finding and creating the way forward. We all have that drive make the entire group functional – to enhance the weakest among us to equalize – and to create a solid, equally empowered group, that can take on the challenges far more effectively than a single person.

This reminds me of documentary I recently saw about a horse whisperer. She explained that she had once asked a horse who was the leader in its pack. And for those that are not familiar with horses – among horse owners it is common knowledge that each pack has a hierarchy. However, the horse whisperer did not get the answer she suspected. The horse explained that the pack has no leader. Each pack member is part of a dynamic and flexible system where each member of the pack is assigned leader depending on the type of challenge that the pack is faced with. For example – the pack will have one individual that steps in when the pack is threatened by predators, perhaps, because that particular horse is the fastest, and strongest. And it will have one horse that steps in when the pack needs to find pasture, perhaps because that horse has the best sense of smell. And the competition between the horses that can be seen are only to establish which horse is suited for what positions in the pack.

And I found this perspective extremely interesting – a dynamic and flexible system of leadership – where basically – each situation is handled by the perfect leader. And it makes so much sense – why do we humans believe that is possible for one human to be a leader in every field? For example a president? He or she can hardly master each of the many, many fields and subjects that a modern society comprises. And still – that is how we do it. Another problematic aspect when it comes to humans and leadership is that we put a value on leadership – and think that the leader is more than his pack – a special individual. While in-fact – the leader is very much a product and a part of the pack – and indeed completely helpless without it. Thus – the leader serves the pack equally as the pack serves the leader. The problem with us humans is that we become addicted to the sense of power that being a leader gives us – and we miss the very point as to what it means to be a leader – namely – to share our strengths with the group and the empower the weakest to stand equal with the rest.

Staying connected to and in tune with others, and to the world, have opened up this point within me of understanding purpose, position and placement in the world more clearly – and what it means to give and receive – and what parts of myself that it is important that I share with the world. For example – with my tomato plants – I must stand as the custodian and caretaker – because they cannot do that for themselves – they are dependent upon me. And similar with the animals I have in my life – I have to be their support when it comes to food and housing. And then in my line of work – where I stand as the person that gives advice to people in pressured and difficult situations – I must be the clarity, the support, the stability and direction that these people for a moment need someone to take on. Thus – my position is a leader – my responsibility to give and to share shifts, changes, and alters depending on my environment – depending on what I and others are going through – it is not something static that can be forever locked in its current position – connection is fresh goods – it cannot become a memory because then it is not real.

I will continue exploring these words and see where they take me.