Tyler's Journey to Life

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tylersr
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Re: Tyler's Journey to Life

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Day 26- Mediocrity and Success

I forgive myself that I’ve accepted and allowed myself to create a fear within me of being ‘average’.

I forgive myself that I’ve accepted and allowed myself to fear being lost among ‘average’ people and, in so doing, reducing the quality-of-life for everyone- instead of seeing, realizing and understanding that, in the context of a world in which many don’t have enough to eat, the quality of life of those who do have enough to survive is not more ‘important’ than establishing a point where everyone has equal access to that which they require for LIFE.

I forgive myself that I’ve accepted and allowed myself to not realize that being in a position to judge and categorize those among the have’s into ‘average’ and ‘above-average’ in itself implies I am supported by money in the world system.

And so, I forgive myself that I’ve accepted and allowed myself to attach the emotional energy of anxiousness to securing an ‘above-average’ life based on my self-image and comparison with other have’s.

Within this, I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to not realize that to actually secure an above-average life for myself is actually a matter of walking the world system to procure more money relative to others and is not based on my self-image as more-than others or the way others perceive me.

I commit myself to, when and as I see myself fearing slipping into mediocrity based on an idea of myself in relation to others, I stop and I breathe. I see/realize that who I am in my mind/the minds of others doesn’t MATTER= is not Real.

I commit myself to redefine Success from a self-interested goal into the establishment of an equal money system where all are guaranteed a decent life free to express their utmost potential.

I commit myself to utilize the money-system as GOD to move myself in ways that is best for all until all are free.



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tylersr
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Re: Tyler's Journey to Life

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Day 27- A Mind Moment

I was looking at Twitter and there was this moment where I ‘knew for sure’ I should message Matty Iglesias and initiate a too-late-to-turn-back-now moment in the basic income movement. I hesitated. What was going on in my mind in that moment was self-doubt. I doubted that I could be such a catalyst. There was also obviously an aspect of self-importance in my mind related to the point of messaging M. Iglesias as he is a celebrity and I could have ‘used’ him to initiate the moment of change, in a way elevating myself to such a status that he enjoys. So, another aspect is humbleness, but not a real humility but a sort of self-diminishment humbleness-as-powerlessness.

Self-Forgiveness

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to, in that moment, go into the mind-experience of self-doubt.

I forgive myself that I accepted and allowed myself to create the mind energy of self-importance in relation to messaging M. Iglesias to initiate a turning-point in the basic income movement.

I forgive myself that I accepted and allowed myself to create the mind energy of powerlessness in relation to changing the world.

Self-Commitment Statements:

I commit myself to, when and as I see myself go into the mind-experience of self-doubt, I stop and I breathe. I see/realize/understand such energy-experience is not real and so I commit myself to, in such a moment, bring myself back to the present, directing myself as necessary.

I commit myself to, when and as I see myself going into the mind-experience of self-importance in relation to creating a change in my world, I stop and I breathe. I see and realize and understand that such an experience is of the mind and indicate I am not here and so, in such a moment, I commit myself to bring myself back to the physical and do what is practically required within the new moment.

I commit myself to, when and as I see myself reacting in powerlessness to a point of change I am able to practically create in my world, I stop and I breathe. I see/realize such a point is mind-created and not real, but I then direct myself to reassess the situation and apply myself to affect practical change through simple, physical action.



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Maite
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Re: Tyler's Journey to Life

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Cool Tyler



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tylersr
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Re: Tyler's Journey to Life

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Day 28- Today was almost a good day

Today seemed like it was going to be a good day… Then something went wrong. I went too fast. I saw someone was listening to an artists I like on Facebook and so I went to the music listening app to listen to the song. Then I remembered this other song I liked by this artist and went about trying to find that song. Looking back, I can see that I was possessed by the desire to listen to that particular song in that particular moment and disregarded everything else to quickly find that song, losing track of the moment and myself here.

I forgive myself that I accepted and allowed myself to, in that moment, lose track of myself within the desire in my mind to find that song.

I forgive myself that I accepted and allowed myself to create the belief that the opportunity to listen to that song was brought to me, and then creating and going into the energy of excitement within my mind trying to find the song, all the while totally losing touch with myself in/as the physical, here, with breath.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to, in that moment, give into self-interest instead of remaining as self, here, steady.

I see and realize that there is a polarity at play here were I defined a string of days before today as “bad” within my mind and the, when it seemed like my day was going to turn out well, I created the idea of the opportunity to listen to this song I liked as validation that today was going to be a good day and, in just one moment, sabotaged what may have actually been an OK day by participating in the mind as energy in self-interest.

Thus, I forgive myself that I accepted and allowed myself to not realize the extent of the negative energy I had built up around having “bad” days where the apparent opportunity to have a good day as positive energy was so enticing that I jumped right into it.

When and as I see myself losing track of myself within the desire to have something NOW, I stop and I breathe. I commit myself to check myself, investigate my starting point, and proceed slooowly, at a natural pace, with what’s best for all.

When and as I see myself lost within the belief that a moment is given to me, I stop and I breathe. I see, realize, and understand that there is no higher power outside of myself handing me special moments as opportunities to have a good day and so, I commit myself to direct myself within physical, practical common sense.

When and as I see myself caught within a moment of excitement as the mind, I stop and I breathe. I commit myself to bring myself back to the present moment within the realization that the source of excitement is not really outside of myself as a special present but that I am the director of myself and its OK to enjoy myself with songs I enjoy, etc. but not so cool to lose myself within an energy of the mind as limitation and self-interest.

I commit myself to investigate the source of the negative energy build up around supposed “bad” days I’ve had as energies as emotions/feelings connected to memories of these apparent bad days, to deconstruct such mind constructs and release myself from these energies.



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tylersr
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Re: Tyler's Journey to Life

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Day 29- Self-Forgiveness on Smoking

I realized that smoking cigarettes compromise me, then I went ahead and smoked a cigarette anyway.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to, in that moment, not stop myself from going ahead and smoking a cigarette, but to give into the positive feeling I’ve associated with smoking a cigarette, even though I realized smoking cigarettes compromises self.

When and as I see myself directed by the positive feeling related to smoking a cigarette, I stop and I breathe. I see, realize, and understand that smoking cigarettes is not living by the principle of what’s best for all, which includes me as part of all and so, I commit myself to, from here forward to no more give into the positive feeling of pleasure associated with smoking cigarettes but to realize enjoyment as self as the physical being I truly am. Further, I commit myself to STOP SMOKING as a matter of principle within the realization that smoking cigarettes is not what’s best for all.

I forgive myself that I’ve accepted and allowed myself to not realize the negative energy at the other end of the polarity of the positive feeling energy of pleasure related to smoking a cigarette as abstinence is just an emotion.

When and as I see myself avoiding/suppressing the negative emotion of abstinence related to (not) smoking a cigarette, I stop and I breathe. I see/realize/understand this negative energy as the emotion of abstinence is created and experienced in my mind and so I commit myself to not utilize avoidance of this mind-created negative energy as an excuse to smoke- which is really then going for the positive feeling-energy of pleasure (also experienced in my mind), missing the stability of myself, here.

I forgive myself that I’ve accepted and allowed myself to define abstinence from smoking a cigarette as a negative experience.

When and as I see myself considering NOT smoking a cigarette as a negative/a losing/missing out, I stop and I breathe. I see that what I fear losing is the positive energy related to smoking a cigarette that I’ve created in my mind, an energy that isn’t WHO I AM. Thus, I commit myself to in such moments direct myself back to the present with the breath, remaining stable here as who I am within my commitment to no more smoke cigarettes as a matter of principle.



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tylersr
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Re: Tyler's Journey to Life

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Day 30- Change More Awesome

A point that I see repeating in my experience of myself is where I “see” a potential point where I can initiate a change in my life/living experience and then suppress the point. This specifically relates to changing jobs where it’s like I know within me that I can take time off of work TOMORROW or, if I am at work RIGHT THEN, and go and apply for a new job. I’ve created a belief within me that the timing of my change is important where it must be ‘sudden’ to be satisfying. Then, despite knowing within me that I can initiate this change in a sudden manner, I suppress the change. I tell myself within my mind that I can wait, that another moment of optimal timing will arise in the future. But it hurts to not change immediately, it’s like holding my whole process back because it would be “better” to wait until the weekend and not take time off of work. Then, I judge myself for not initiating the change in a weird manner, where being sudden and spontaneous would be ‘awesome’ within my mind but I instead opt for ‘safe’ and ‘conventional’. I mean, from a practical perspective, it makes sense to go to my current job, get paid, and wait until I have time on the weekend where I’m not going to get paid to look for the new job. What’s more, I feel like I owe it not only to myself, but to everyone else in a way, to initiate this change in a sudden, unconventional manner. That, if I were to wait, it would take all the magic out of the moment, something would be lost.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to judge myself for not taking time off work to look for a new job because it would be ‘bold’, ‘sexy’, and ‘inspiring’.

I forgive myself that I’ve accepted and allowed myself to be disappointed in myself for hesitating and ultimately suppressing such a point of change where I denied self-trust in the name of being ‘safe’.

I forgive myself that I’ve not allowed myself to realize that being disappointed in myself for hesitating to initiate a ‘bold’ new point implies I care what others think of me within self-change.



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tylersr
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Re: Tyler's Journey to Life

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Day 31- Crossing with my Mind: SF

I was at a crosswalk that takes you from one side towards the center of a bus station. Instead of waiting to ensure the walk signal was displayed, I crossed.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to regret not waiting for the cross signal.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to create the justification within my my mind that the cross signal may not work.

I forgive myself that I’ve accepted and allowed myself to fear what may happen to me in relation to not having waited for the cross signal.

I forgive myself that I’ve accepted and allowed myself to create the justification that others should not wait for the cross signal at that particular crosswalk.



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tylersr
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Re: Tyler's Journey to Life

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Day 32- Backchat for Falling in Relation to Speaking Self-Forgiveness out Loud

Yesterday I fell. Today was rough. The backchat was intense. I thought “I am NOT going to speak Self-Forgiveness out loud at work,” the exact thing I fell on yesterday.

I forgive myself that I’ve accepted and allowed myself to think “I am not going to speak self-forgiveness out loud”

I forgive myself that I’ve accepted and allowed myself to fear speaking self-forgiveness out loud.

I forgive myself that I’ve accepted and allowed myself to fear the opinions of my co-workers if I would speak self-forgiveness statements out loud.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing the thought “I don’t care how bad it gets” come up within and as me.

I commit myself to, when and as I see myself think about speaking self-forgiveness out loud, I stop and I breathe. I bring myself back to the present with a breath and allow myself to direct and enjoy the present moment as myself.



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tylersr
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Re: Tyler's Journey to Life

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Day 33- Resisting Conflict

Today a prominent point in my day was thinking about going on vacation with my family. I delayed even asking for the time off from work until today- the day before I was supposed to go. Since being invited, I have been going back and forth whether or not I want to go. Then, after asking for the time off, I decided I didn’t want to go after all.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to think about whether or not I want to go on vacation with my family.

I forgive myself that I’ve accepted and allowed myself to imagine being on vacation and having a bad time/feeling bad.

Within this, I forgive myself that I’ve accepted and allowed myself to create a resistance within me to feeling bad.

I forgive myself that I’ve accepted and allowed myself to anticipate conflict with my mother should I go on vacation with her and so use this as a reason to not go.

I commit myself to, when and as I see that I’ve become preoccupied with anticipating feeling bad when with my family, I stop and I breathe. I bring myself back to the present moment and walk.

I commit myself to, when and as I see myself going into reaction as resistance to feeling bad when with my family, I stop and I breathe. I see/realize that trying to avoid a situation with my mind is futile and so I direct myself back to the present moment and walk.

I commit myself to, when and as I see myself anticipating conflict with my mother, I stop and I breathe. I return to Here in awareness and continue applying myself in the Physical now-moment within the realization that that moment with my mother exists in my Mind and is not HERE and so I allow myself to let go of the feeling of anxiety as anticipation of conflict and return to Breath.



Michelle
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Re: Tyler's Journey to Life

Post by Michelle »

Hi Tyler,
Cool you wrote about this point. Within your writings I can see a bit of myself of the tendency to be indecisive and it was interesting how you wrote out you were going back and forth in your mind, like ping pong, back and forth, not being able to make a decision, so I can relate because I have been there and I am still walking this indecisive point where I am now committing myself to when I'm indecisive, WRITE OUT what is holding me back, what are the points involved where I am not allowing myself to make a decision and walk the SF and corrective process from there.

It was cool you used SF to begin walking this point out.Now you have identified/seen for yourself it's because you believe it will be a bad time, and I suggest you look at memories that may have influenced your decision to be with your family and enjoy yourself with them on vacation.

You can even look at this SF specifically:
I forgive myself that I’ve accepted and allowed myself to anticipate conflict with my mother should I go on vacation with her and so use this as a reason to not go.
See if you can find a memory when you went on vacation with your mother and got into a conflict with her, or something similar that happened with your mother and vacation that may have been the cause/reason for your resistance to going on vacation with family.

I am interested in reading more from you! Thanks Tyler!



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