Carlton's Journey To Life

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Carlton
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Re: Carlton's Journey To Life

Postby Carlton » 26 May 2019, 20:04

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Day 825: Articulation (Perspective)

Tickling the senses in art of how one describes something with words, that houses energy in manipulating fashion, fastens one into acceptance of what’s being said, especially when what’s being talked about is not directly lived by the conjurer, good for the listener/reader or best for all in any way.

The simplicity comes in when what rolls off ones tongue is a ton of support that has supported the presenter alike, amidst a challenging point, that’s now accounted for with responsibility taken when sharing a realization that’s been walked through, or walked to a point of sharing from beforehand, how one got to this point through vocalization/speaking or the words we write, in spite of any differences of resistances we may have, it all comes to head when one takes a lead role in ‘Knowing the Words we Speak’.

For each there’s little tweaks and differences that signatures the context in which one is sharing the expression of one’s own Articulation, awesomely situated to know that came from you and cool that I can see it more clear when looking at the truth of you behind it, that shows not only in ones writing/speaking, but in ones actions as well, I mean we’re all well done when vulnerably sharing and correcting ourselves, it’s well worth it and worth it if practiced and lived well.

Indicative of the past, living in pastures of bliss, ignoring any well-spoken activist who I thought was better off than I was, I escaped the learning curve of articulation through introversion, and slurred speech, the words didn’t seem to come out right or how I wanted them to, so I didn’t speak, and didn’t realize it takes practice to make this particular want into a reality, that called for my participation in many conversations that would teach me how to articulate correctly, in accepting the words I chose within and as me as me, and through time I begin to mesh my way into speaking effectively. ‘But’

“Why do you speak so soft”, (For the Big Fella you are) is the most prolific line that was mirrored back to me (most of the time), with the capacity to speak distinct, I chose the speaker box setting when responding to others trying to get my point across, not that I was scared, but a fear point in fact, engrained so deep that tippy toes around my convictions and stayed convicted to my beliefs back then, and all the other things that I didn’t even mention, not wanting to awaken a reaction in others was my pass time, thinking it’s a good time to be on their side, because conflict would just tick me off into a world wind, and blow away any chances I had with connecting with them. You see because I paid too much attention in thoughts of conflict, my lips seemed as if they had weights on them, that took a stuttering step before I babbled somethings, and when I babbled, I got stuck at the beginning of each word.

The absurdity was me making things up as I went, and would go on this big spill about something that wasn’t, and would end each sentence with “I know what I’m talking about”, that should be a red flag when someone says, they know what they’re talking about, that’s a knowing of seeing through the eyes of the mind, that time and time again whisk us away from reality, to live lackadaisically in a world of pretty pictures and with these pictures we create the worst world of words.

But pretty words that creates a picture in ones own mind with the illusion of grandeur, is the band stand of the mind that gives one front row seats to the sideshow, that holds one into position while mining us for energy, to feeling depleted and wanting to fall asleep, and may fall asleep when a school teacher speak, that’s why most don’t like school because of the way it’s articulated, where we all walk in and get treated like sheep, and think the world should participate in this curriculum, that so placed this world into its current position, and position ourselves into a 3D reality, thinking that we’re touching one another outside of ourselves, instead of realize the self we touch is really us Therefore;

Speech is important and a vital part of our communication and communication is important and a vital part of our lives, but you don’t have to be a speech therapist to be aware of life, meaning the life within every word we choose to redefine, that fits well with the life we choose to live, if the life we choose to live is what’s best for all, so to learn the words we speak is the articulation of self, and to share the self of self we would like to interact with, is the Articulation of a well created life.

Thanks for reading.



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Carlton
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Re: Carlton's Journey To Life

Postby Carlton » 31 May 2019, 20:30

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Day 826: A ‘Compromise’ Perspective

Close my eyes and promise that I won’t come back to this point again, but when again comes back around, we find ourselves standing there, staring at the precipice of compromise, thinking I have no choice but to do it again and take it personal for being the person that placed self in a position of compromise in the first place, even ever so subtle moments that can go unnoticed, a quick moment of reaction is the same as being in a full on mind possession with a massive reaction, it’s all the point of compromise, that lies right next to the idea that I’m going to be alright, when doing this, that or the other, and although one may have to, the move pass is filled with regrets in a way, that I made a bet with myself to get ahead, not realizing ahead was already the state that I was in.

The things we do to get ahead or stay ahead or just to survive, may at times be filled with compromise, like we wouldn’t normally do that, but sense we’re situated in this position what choice do I have, I may have a business to run or a few mouths to feed and need every little bit I can get, but don’t take it personally it may be for emergency purposes, that I know most of us have been there before, and for the most part never want to experience that again, but when one is standing up from within the mind, we have to walk through consequences, where the use of compromise can be seen as constructive instead of destructive, if the promise comes in with a starting point of change, where correction is the engine that accelerates the change when coming to grip with, this is not who I really am, but live in a world that don’t accept us for who we really are, and spares with the process we’re walking, that’s not an easy feat by any means, especially when the feet are walking alone, with every step compromising any opportunity for assistance and support.

Believe it or not, we are all rebels that want to rebel against the mind, but to fight the mind is asinine and useless that gives it power, finding ourselves powerless with the belief that we’re useless, every time we do so, and every time we do so, it’s another point of compromise and with these point of compromise we create our reality and world in subservience to the mind, that serves no purpose but to diminish life, but life is the rebel in fact that will always be here, no matter what we do to it, it remains unwavering, even when we’re gone it remains absolute, that’s why it’s best to become life while we’re here, that would show our promise to changing the system and so standing up for life in every way possible.

An obstacle of conjecture is survival of the fittest, and the first thing that comes up is how big ones muscles is, and with our muscle meat for brains, we try and muscle our way around, the point of taking responsibility for what we’ve done, with compromising our existence and every one within it, by separating ourselves from one another in self-interest, each one claiming our own religion of self, that you better follow me or I’m not going to help you out, that give power to the few, while the rest of us stay weary and weak, thinking we need to be helped out that’s a point of self-defeat, and so fall for not helping ourselves up and into a position, that would no longer compromise our way of living.

The interesting thing I find about compromise is, in whose eye am I looking to please me, when it’s us who can only live our own lives, and show life that we’re able to be trusted with it, that starts with learning how to trust oneself, when telling you that this is what you need to do to get to the next point, that we disregard in compromise of our evolution, when the solution may not be what we want to see or do, but need to do to maintain our survival, that may at times rival with the process we’re walking, so in the next post I’ll bring forth my points of correction.

Be right back…



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Carlton
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Re: Carlton's Journey To Life

Postby Carlton » 02 Jun 2019, 19:03

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Day 827: A Compromising Correction

OK I’m back so, open my eyes and see the correction to make, along with the core of Self that’s filled with compromise, in the sense of internal integral parts all working together, where a piece of me may function in one way that serves purpose for another part/piece of me (organs) to do its job, showing both in agreeance with one another = Constructive Promises, but in human interaction;

The agreeance of always saying the words ‘Correct/Correct/Correct’ or ‘Yes/Yes/Yes’ when someone is telling you something, that you may not know too much about, leaves little room for expansion, because no real questions are asked, and so companion oneself to the point of compromise, in our minds eyes away from detailing the integration to what’s being said, that allows for being on the same page when questions are asked, especially when the pack is all working together, doing what’s best for all, and what’s best for all is learning how to correct oneself, through promising one another to stand equal to and one with each other, assisting and supporting self as a whole, which makes the statement ‘each one teach one’ an absolute.

Another interesting point is, when making a promise to someone, then realizing before its acted on, said and done to be a point of compromise, (by the promiser), one holds you to statement, don’t make promises you can’t keep, then ask for a signature hand shake to seal the deal, locking you into a point of demise, and now one can’t go back on what we said, where on the other hand, if it’s explained as to why one can’t follow through, would probably be more acceptable than just leaving it be, because most of the time we fear the reprisal of what could happen, so would rather walk away for the relationship so it won’t happen, putting another notch on our belt for the long list of failed relationships we’ve had with others, and so live the sabotage before the relationship flourish, that nourishes our Ego with the point of compromise and lie to our self, I’m doing it for the right reason.

I mean this is just a perspective of the ever so compromising me, the good and the bad, and other things that I see in my world and reality, that casually changes one way or the other, and at times smothers the commitments to life we’ve already made, thing is not to take it hard and encage ourselves, because the commitments are still here, waiting to be stepped into and lived, but in the midst have to walk through points of despair of how we’ve prepared this reality to fail, that takes moment to compromise to at times to stay afloat, and nope that doesn’t exempt anyone from this reality, we’ve all have experienced a compromising thing and can tell you a thing or two about our compromising way. Therefore;


I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not see/realize/understand how the point of compromise can be a constructive thing, when done with a starting point of changing me, knowing that I live in a world where we have to do things in order to survive, that may not jive with our point of stand, that's where self-honesty vs honesty comes into play, am I looking at things from a self-honest starting point, instead of the trues of manipulation, that may stop one from living well, and having means to help others as well, because at times we need all we can get.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not see/realize/understand my internal points of compromise in my mind, accepting things the way they are presented, that instead of asking questions, I would say Correct/Correct/Correct and Yes/Yes/Yes, would stop me from expanding my awareness of Self, in the reality I’ve created for me to experience, that I built off of compromise, then wonder why things are not working out correctly, and so step knee deep into the point of despair and have to pull myself back away from wanting to give up.

Not going to happen, in no way shape or form, that’s easier said then done, but a will I will do, where I forgive myself that I haven’t accepted and allowed myself to see the point of ‘Willing’ within compromise, where if there’s a willing to do something in chase of energy, and not just a have to, the point of compromise is then compromise, by the energy we would receive from getting ahead, but more than willing, if I am correcting myself through the consequences I walk, the consequence to this is making a way to get back to the commitments I’ve made.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to have built a life I’ve lived off of compromise, and so surprised myself with the consequences I’ve faced, in awareness now of the consequences we face if change is not enacted, with the point of resettling inside myself and resetting up my life with a corrected starting point, as change is often times needed to expand our self-development, and develop more ways to live a fulfilling life, where taking the first step into our utmost potential, is a well warranted compromise to the way we used to live, so the coming promises I’ve made to myself are the correction and commitments in actions that I walk, to no longer accept and allow myself to separate myself within and from the point and word of Compromise itself.

Thanks for reading.



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Carlton
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Re: Carlton's Journey To Life

Postby Carlton » 06 Jun 2019, 19:12

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Day 828: The Following Perspective

Scared to go into something alone, we say “You lead and I’ll follow”, that’s good for tunnel rats and Daredevils alike, in spite of knowing something could happen, we dream of being the first one through a maze of conflict, drafting behind another until they slip up or crash, then pass them by with our foot on the gas, like that’s not my problem they created it for themselves, not considering that our push behind them may have had everything to do with it, but rest easy in sigh that it missed me ‘this time’, until the time comes around when it happen to us.

The point of peer pressure is also a following perspective (on either end), we’ll follow in order to get next to the person in question, where the person in question may be too scared to do it themselves, until we take the lead role and do it for them, judgement is a rug that’s laid down before you, where If you don’t do it they’ll cut you off and call you names while cutting you off, and tell everybody how you’re so soft, when all the while this is all about me, as them who talk a lot and don’t saying nothing, just fuss about how I’m disgusted with life, that blinds one from seeing what Life really have to offer, when offering up the characters we’ve existed as for so long, in exchange for Life Awareness, that all I’m following is me, so the pressure we think we experience from peers is just a cover of blame in the seeking of attention, and the seeking of attention is the suppression of our expression, just to follow being liked by another human being.

The best leader are those who followed and understood, that following is not the walk behind but right alongside, and right alongside helps to cover more space, showing that on some levels we all have the same capabilities, and with these capabilities each fellow man plays their own part, in sweeping through the Minefield of the Mind disconnecting one another, where in a sense we’re led to follow in order to do the same for others, as others in our lives have done the same for us, the simplicity of the 1+1 equation is the best way to uncover each one’s potential that’s smothered up in the ‘follow’, allowing all to lead a fulfilling life that’s mellow, because I’ve messed with ‘to changing the preprogramming I exist as, which make the ‘following’ a cool changing experience, when following in the sense of learning from my mistakes, then take those miss take and do self-correction, that would show how the following could be a cool lesson.

The interesting thing about following is the work in between, where I can get to where you are but have to put in work to get there, because most of the time we take the follow in the sense of things being done for us, instead of seeing and duplicating with our own points of investigation what’s being shown, while taking suggestions every step of the way, resistance may set in that requires a reset to our way of looking at it, to effectively walk the path of those who’ve gone before us, and so become the for goers to assist and support other, until all the sins of the fathers have been corrected and taken responsibility for.

Now the backtrack aspect start when sitting on a lap, to being able to walk, then running amuck, to following a prominent figure around everywhere they went, learning to soak up information and create a personality from it, where sadly for most the ‘following’ was “Do what I say and not what I do”, and when some didn’t, would get punished for it, but all that aside our ‘follow’ was tarnished, that varnished every step we took from there on out with fear, into growing up, blindly accepting what we we’re told to do, into creating laws telling people what they should and shouldn’t do, and if you did it you’ll get praised for being a good follower, that so made the ‘following’ into a reward system.

But interesting the reward you get from learning about self and from learning about the mind and how to direct self, that would lead oneself into untapped potential and simply help purify “The Following Perspective”. HERE is how.

Thanks for reading.



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Carlton
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Re: Carlton's Journey To Life

Postby Carlton » 13 Jun 2019, 20:08

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Day 829: Anticipation (Another Perspective)

An addon from day 452: Anticipation

And tag you’re it, gifted by the idea that we can for see things coming, and so build up a defense against a possibility, with the belief that “I think ten steps ahead of you”, and so head into the unknown with expectations of what we thought to be an absolute is true, that salutes the failure we then experience, then tell ourselves, “But I thought I had all possibilities covered, when in fact what we did was to cover up the reality of things, around what we anticipated.

Future thinkers are idealist with no preparation of what the future may hold, and so walk into the future unprepared for what unfolds, which is the biggest flaw I participated in, standing within the word anticipation with NO Patience to put the work in ‘Now’, for a brighter future tomorrow, landing myself in unspeakable positions, wishing things could be easier or could have been different, where anticipation is (Yes) participation in the mind and not in reality, where casually we allow the rush of things to constantly deter us from seeing the bigger picture, that tomorrow is always a representation of what we do/say participate in today, and what we do today sticks in the minds of others tomorrow, that’s why it’s best to check the steps we take when concocting our mouths in a certain way, to say what we do, that does something to other, when all the while sitting back anticipating a reprisal.

Time really doesn’t heal wombs, none physical, but the physical remember all inflictions of the mind, and the mind have no problem anticipating our demise, as we gracefully walk into it ‘thinking ahead’, instead of being right here in every moment owning it = that’s anti productive to the mind, that like to play out extreme worst case scenario in merry go round fashion, separating us from one another into acts of anticipating your next move, because I too have done the same thing I think you’re trying to do, which for most part may not be the case, in which case all we’re doing is trying to anticipate fate.

I don’t want to leave or cross over because I’ve crossed my fingers in life too much, and now looking for the holy grail to keep me well and staying alive, but resist what it really means to be alive and live life well, where we can’t anticipate the line drawn - that’s when we close our eye without waking up HERE first, where before we leave it’s a need to take responsibility and clean up the mess made by each one of us individually, and critically look at the patterns I exist as, and permanently purify the reality we live in.

So how can I use Anticipation in a constructive way, recognizing the patterns I exist as and the habits I’ve engrained within and as me, that engines the behavior I perpetuate, stemming from the thought I follow around in my mind, upon correction, seeing these things is like looking down a road I’ve been down before, and so can use anticipation as a point of seeing/knowing the outcome and consequences ahead of time, to stop my participation within it and so walk the correction/commitment statements I’ve made to these infractions.

In fact we can see things before they happen, that’s why we say I knew it, that’s old news to us, when manifesting our own demise, lied to by the mind to lay down and don’t do nothing, is something we can surely anticipate, by taking the steps to correct our mistake, so from here no further will I wait any longer to change my fate, as I am a work in progress.

Thanks for reading.



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Carlton
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Re: Carlton's Journey To Life

Postby Carlton » 28 Jun 2019, 19:57

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Day 832: Hold On (A Different Perspective)

Add on from Day 145: Holding On

Situations can turn from rational to irrational in a split second, when embracing nervousness as a point of standing on uneven ground, instead of stability that literally come in a moment of checking in with oneself, the physical that gives one cross reference when asked the question, on which direction I should take, and most importantly, if one has been standing up for life throughout this process being walked by humanity, even more so, life shows a clear picture in what choice to make, where mistakes may come a dime a dozen, but as long as one continues to correct and stand, correct and stand, and correct and stand, damn if you’re not shown the best way through, and this is not just small talk, I just been through it literally where I checked with myself and was told to hold on and so did and walked through the situation, resolved, all parties on both sides, because a short while ago I chose to correct my stance, to standing up for life, I mean I’m definitely a work in progress and process things differently than I used to.

They say time will tell, but if you can’t tell time you’ll always be late, with no patience, because once again we hate waiting, thinking first come first served, and I’m going to get a good deal, then will ourselves into making the wrong decision, that’s only seen in hindsight, because we chose to stand behind the mind in spite of holding on for a short while longer for an investigated outcome, and so face the consequences for making a move without figuring how investigating would have saved us time and money.

Interesting within the hold is the point of investing in you, that would facilitate your best move, and prove to oneself, I’m really learning to trust my Self, where the slow down affect comes into play, to take a moment and breathe to see what I’m doing and/or pursuing is a pursuit that best for all, instead of the pursuit of happiness, that clashes with the reality of what would really happen if I didn’t take a moment to hold on and check in with my Self.

When all else seems to fail just wait a minute, the minimalist time it takes to think twice in a sense, of stopping the influx of thoughts from rushing through my mind to circumvent time, which leads to one getting caught up and out there, which is the here of impatience, drafting a move of elation, then become elated with the move made, until reality smack you dead in the face, to having to clean up the mess we’ve made with no broom handy so to speak.

Behind every righteous thought is a machine of dismay, where because we want to be right so much, we stick ourselves between a rock and a hard place, standing on eggshells hoping not to get blister from the yoke that chokes us into submission, because we’ve bitten off more than we could chew, this time and in times past, that obviously wasn’t enough to learn from, and so strut once again towards our demise, where the eyes do lie if you’re not looking inside to see that I am creating this experience within me and need to do something about it.

What I realize is that the time will come when things are needed, and jumping the gun makes things worse off, and running amuck about something that’s pending, is wasted time spent on what ifs and wonderment, I mean why punish ourselves and have to correct it, when all we have to do is to “HOLD ON” and Check in with Self first.

Thanks for reading.



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Carlton
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Re: Carlton's Journey To Life

Postby Carlton » 02 Jul 2019, 19:50

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Day 833: Embarrassment

So, in listening to THIS cool interview, a few things came up, that I’ve experienced at times in my life, enjoy!

I can’t stand that my standing in character was challenged by reality when posturing up for all to see, me focused on the presentation of me, instead of being present when walking, interacting or doing something in front of others, and so slip, drop something or run into a trash can on the street, followed by a distinct laughter in the distance, that echoes in my ear drum, lullabying my shoulders downward into a slouchy position and want to get away as fast as I can, to put myself in a corner of pity, because I failed to uphold this proud look.

It only took two seconds of premeditation to change the way we was supposed to be, into something we thought would elevate our status in the eye of others, that’s like walking on a tight rope of banana peels, bound to slip off at some point and can’t bare it because our bearing was loose from loosing ourselves into thoughts/ideas/perceptions and belief, believing and perceiving no one will like me, if I was to be who I am with no extra additives, and so add on and extra character to the one’s we’re already promoting.

If I slip and fall I might just stay down there and do push ups to cover up the slip, then do it again as if it was on purpose, but what’s not realized is the flirt with insecurity that’s taking place, insecure Ego creating space in my mind to stay, because I’ve locked myself (in a way) out of the physical, every time reality shows me, Me and I choose not to listen or see, the state I’m going into.

To me embarrassment is one of the clearest ways to see just how scared I am of being who we are as life, in front of other who really don’t give a s*** who you are, because they in their own process are also looking to understand themselves, so you see it doesn’t really matter the slip, fall, run into, bump into that takes place, nor the reactions of others because at the end of the day it’s us who have to correct ourselves for placing ourselves in such positions, in character, that life cares enough to show us the reality we’re living in, in our mind, to being snapped back into reality in the physical.

You can’t really impress you, but only realize the impression we make on life as all as us, like feeling ashamed when looking in the mirror after running into the sink, then saying, I didn’t want me to see that, never looking yourself in the eye when washing your face, and so leave sleep in the eye for others to point out, exacerbating another embarrassing moment, until we get it and own it, which is a profound component of self-change, to stop thinking so much and do what we’ve set out to do, as who we are.


I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to use embarrassment as a point of validating the pitiful stance taken after walking in character, in a way of upholding a perception of self, in precession to show off, into being shown by reality, via slip, fall, drop or run into something, that this is not who I am/we are, but a character of grandeur and so on.


Often times we want to present a grander version of ourselves, showing other, we got our s*** together, that’s harder to uphold instead of the acceptance of ‘this is me with all my quirks’, that’s medicine for the headache of embarrassment, no need to crawl up in a corner and die (so to speak), because a care free walk is in vulnerability, that we all are not perfect, but working to perfect ourselves, if correcting ourselves with every step we take.

I mean it’s never too late to change, but gets late when shown, looked at then turned away from, and yes we’re prone to turning the other cheek and falling asleep, hoping that when we wake up we experience ‘ground hog day’, with awareness to not take the same slip twice, which is obviously the same mistake twice, because no correction was set in play, so the problem still exist, that we create every embarrassing moment we experience, but don’t have to.

Speaking of awareness, it’s of our surrounding ‘yes, but should be more so of what comes up in our minds that whisk us away from reality, while in the midst of doing something, that catches us off guard, because we’re guarding the Ego, in disregards of reality of the things around us.

So to me the correction to embarrassment is to walk in awareness of what’s coming up within and as you before/during/in the midst of doing something, because what’s in yours way such as a curb for instance won’t lower itself so you won’t trip, so best to be present at all times focused on what we set ourselves out to do, watch what we say and where we’re walking, to not assume the inferior position of embarrassment, but to stand equal to and one with all that is me, that surrounds me.

Thanks for reading.



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Carlton
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Re: Carlton's Journey To Life

Postby Carlton » 05 Jul 2019, 20:37

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Day 834: Character Embodiment

The manufacturer of actors we are, from how they are we want to be like, when walking from the TV screen into our worlds, we carry along with us the Embodiment of what the main actor stood for/represented, in somber moods if somber or a proud look for jubilation, where there’s no debating that I’m now it, but split between an ideal and belief, that Chiefs the next steps I am to take, I mean everybody can be a spider man, such a motivating factor to embody this actors child-like ways in an adult world, but only for a moment until we lose ourselves, entangled in a web from the moves we make, that takes place in our minds, until reality smacks us dead in the face, showing that ‘Ain’t’ nothing about the way I am, has changed from watching a movie, but it moves me to think that its possibly so, in hope to find the best escape route to move ‘to and fro’, between being who I am and attempting to be, without taking responsibility for either.

The rocking lullaby stance enhance the way we walk and so change our voice to talk to others, until they asked “what are you doing”, and hurry to cover it up by saying, I’m just playing, then disassociate ourselves from them because they couldn’t understand what I’m trying to do, that seemed good to do and felt good to do, being that I didn’t know what to do about the state I was in, and so stated what other people said and did what other people did, to see if it fit and if it fitted I wore it, in non-consideration of the wear and tear it would have on my body in the long run, I mean what a stressful opposition, positioning myself into an uncomfortable position, like doing a hand stand for 24 hours straight, with blood rushing to my head unable to see straight or think straight for that matter, that it only mattered to me what other people thought, that only brought out who I thought I alt to be, in front of others who I thought cared about me.

It was easy to change on the fly when walking up to someone, adjusting my posture for them to see me at my best, which wasn’t my best but at someone else’s behest , I belonged in action to what they thought of me, meaning my action was only dictate by the reaction I saw them in, and so changed with the wind to appease their sense of interest, to playing the puppy dog role, just to draw them in, that’s a point of using victimization to excite their addiction to conflict, while consciously inflict them with a positive insight, then tell them that their right no matter what they say, to walking away feeling, this person really ‘Likes’ me, to staying within the embodiment of the character I chose.

I’ve walked with a limp when seeing a pimp walk and talked with a slur when hearing a thug talk, that only brought out the anger in me, when pointed out as a fraud, and identity crisis that I didn’t see in urgency, because I embodied the character I thought I was supposed to be, that wasn’t me and hard to maintain, it was hard for me to come to grips with this is not who I am, from being stuck between thinking the life I was raise in wasn’t for me, and exploring any and all possibilities, in search of who I really am, I embodied whatever came up, and even defined myself with the stuff I had.

The switch to someone new doesn’t always justify the mean, meaning there’s always someone who will like just the way you are, with no extra additives or the stuff you have, because the stuff you have doesn’t make you who you are, but only stuff’s you with ideas/perceptions/beliefs that my stuff is enough to raise my value, that’s only valuable as the Stuffing we eat on holiday, that’s stuffed in a turkey and flushed in the stool, we’ve become a tool to this imbalance, in balance with nonsense, as consciousness becomes the common sense we choose to live by.

It’s a learned when realizing the experience’s, we’ve had, made way for the experiences we experience today, which gives way to the way we correct our experiences, by way of embodying the care to change, which starts with;

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to throughout my life embody multiple character in search for who I am, that created a multitude of mayhem, I learn to live with, believing the multitude of people I’ve come across, would not accept me as who I am, and so live my life in service of others perceptions, not once considering “where am I” in the equation, that only equated when looking at myself in the mirror, and when looking at others I mirrored their actions, thinking that I could piggy back them into finding me.

And so for a day in the life of me, I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to see things/others/movies on TV screen, actors and try my best to impersonate them, embodying what they stood for and represented, after walking away and into my world, taking these characters with, in hopes they would fit as a good representation of me, that only places me that much further away from who I really am and into living an identity crisis.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not see/realize that the good can be taken from what others do, that’s best for all, without embodying the whole of their characteristics, because we have our own, and so keep what’s good as an addon to my own standing up, as and for life, equally, that way I expand/grow/develop into MY utmost potential, and not pose and altered rendition of my Self onto others. And so on and so forth, into embodying/living the word care as the action taken in regards of who I really and not who I’m choosing to be.

Thanks for reading.



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Carlton
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Re: Carlton's Journey To Life

Postby Carlton » 10 Jul 2019, 22:03

https://carltontedford.wordpress.com/20 ... character/

Day 835: The Protector/Defender Character

Interesting when telling someone what we think they should or shouldn’t do about their interaction with others, as if I had a front row seat to the relationship they have, like what starting point allows for one to think we know the response of the other person, I mean really, when one’s interaction is different than any others interaction is, with the same person, that really didn’t hit home until recently when putting my foot in my mouth (so to speak) with assumptions, questioning what one had it in them to do, thinking it may not have been a cool idea for them to do, then ate the words I spoke when seeing that it was probably the best idea to do, for them, that has/had nothing to do with me, my ideas/perceptions/beliefs, and so had to correct myself for it, in the moment of realization, in which case, slowing oneself down is the best way to alleviate dismay.

Thing is this is not the first time and I’m sure some have faced the same, thinking that we have the other persons best interest in mind, and you know what, that’s just what it is, ‘IN MIND’, not in reality, because we’re simply NOT the other person, but flirting with our own idea that it’s might seem/be bothersome to the other to be reached out to, which makes this “protection” the validation of our own beliefs system.

We soil the spoil in us every time we do so, perpetuate these character, that only boils the relationship we have with another to mist, evaporating in a sense our standing in equality with all that is me with no assumptions, in the long run and in essence, running away from the acceptance of what they do is for them, not you, me or anybody else to say otherwise, and I’m saying it because I’ve subjected myself to these characters for too long, to no avail, but a swelled up Ego that no longer sits well with the ever so changing me that I’m processing to achieve.

It’s hard to walk what we don’t realize or talk about, until you realize things need to be talked about to be walked out and into Oneness and Equality with Self first, by me, and our reasoning we use as season to sprinkle dismay, interrupting the way others in our world see/do things, may not need our 2 cents after all, so should keep the “I’m just saying” to ourselves and watch how life plays itself out, to avoid the surprising effect, that we don’t know what we’re talking about, brings.

On the other hand there’s a time for everything, at it’s designed time, not a moment sooner, in a sense of protecting/defending life, that should have been sooner than what we now have created, how life is today, where these day’s there’s an array of defense system and mechanisms, that protects the self-interest of man, while destroying life in fact, but who want to see, hear or talk about that, when we do it to ourselves in our own worlds, reserved only for those we think we ‘Love’, until we Fall out of ‘Love’ with them, and placing them away from our defense, because they stop defending our self-interest, and no longer accept and allow the bullshit we represent.

Protection also closely relates to our imaginary self, where we imagine being hurt by someone else, then manifest the type of hurt through media outlets, then buy guns to protect and defend this Nonsense, like making a promise to fear to stay within conflict, that dominates the way we should stand in confidence, next to life as equals in all ways possible, that’s always brushed aside when the mind is at play, and I say mind, because we think we’re mining our own business, but busy thinking about what others are doing in their world, to believing others may have it in for me, and so make moves that damages our sensibility, and physicality if pushed too hard the wrong way, it’s a wonder how most people tell you to BE SAFE, or Drive Safe, or Be Careful out there, when its clear their scared of what’s coming up in their minds, but if you will don’t wish that voodoo on me, because I got enough on my plate in taking self-responsibility, but I will accept it if you say that to me, but to make sure ones starting point is clear when saying it.

More so what I realize is in a way, we all care for others in our worlds (for the most part), but partiality is the barter that barriers us into separation, apart from one another in different locations, making the process we walk an individual one in fact, where bringing things back to self, should always be the plan of attack, to correct our reactions and unclear facts, and pass on to the next generation the togetherness we lacked.

So, to forgive oneself for the defense of other in a sense of defending our own ideas/perceptions and beliefs we have about them, and to forgive oneself for protecting into the defense of what we create in our minds about others being a threat to our self-interested life style, where if our lifestyle as all, is what’s best for all life, there would be no need to protect and defend the life we live as a whole, collectively, because we would All be on the same page, and so the Defense of this existence as Life as a whole.

Thanks for reading.

Desteni.org



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Carlton
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Re: Carlton's Journey To Life

Postby Carlton » 15 Jul 2019, 17:29

https://carltontedford.wordpress.com/20 ... e-all-one/

Day 836: It Happens When You’re Alone (All One)

Skin deep and that’s it, we surface the purpose of thinking about other who’s not around, but sitting right next to us in spirit and even hear them talking back to us, in rebuttal to what we think they may think about what we’re thinking, sinking deeper into the perks of aloneness, that’s only lonely because we’re not prepared for the present of being here, where it’s clear to me now that this is where the thoughts of despair is formulated and premeditated upon, that makes it hard for one to get to know me, when preemptively attaching oneself to the green screen of ideas in a mean scene that’s unclear, because what we’re thinking about is just Not Here.

Then think, In my eyes I’m in control of everything, from the conversations I’ve been in, to the confrontations I’ve lost, I mean you can’t tell me nothing, because I’m the one talking and you’re just a ghost in a machine that’s subservient to me, in my mind a figment of imagination, that I imagine doing what I didn’t do or say what I didn’t say to you in real life, in spite of knowing my thoughts hold no weight, but make me feel better about myself.

Going into time out as a child, puts one into the corner of the mind to pout, and oh what a dangerous place this is, imagining the worst being done unto them, by you times ten and then some in their eyes, then build thick skin around the likes of others, to wanting to get even with them, but behind closed doors, that sores the infection we inflict upon ourselves, that’s a reflection of the s*** they took from you, that motherfucker’s the motherfucker we turned out to be, not once ever considering the point of self-honesty, and this is what happens when we’re all alone.

The organization of the mind is outrageous at times, when hanging out with a few things we call our friends, like Emotion that puts me in an Emo mood, and Feelings that stirs up the excitement in me and Reactions that have me running around in circles, that flirts with the idea of wanting to hurt something, courtesy of the acceptance we give to them, when no one else but you can read your own mind, in laymen’s terms we live this outrage in silence, but stay out of the way when reality strike, like staying out of the ghetto in the middle of the night, where we think something is sure bound to happen in the dark, and so close our eyes and dream on these things, then wake up hoping that the world has changed.

Not seeing that the world is one collective entity, with individuals in it that have no empathy and can’t see in to me I see, as a solution, and the thoughts we think is what causes pollution, like smog from a factory, we pollute others mind and whine about the crime we created ourselves, to shelving the possibility that we need help, that only comes when opening up the door for yourself, that starts when you’re alone all by yourself, investigating what comes up in our minds, and the correction is to all the proverbial lessons we’ve learned, that shakes loose the bubbles we’ve been bouncing around in, to becoming aware of ourselves in our own skin, and embracing the good/bad/ugly that got us to this point, as me.

Looking from the outside in is but a taste of realizing how far out I’ve been away from here, everytime I choose to point in the direction of another, creates one more layer that thickens the separation between me and my Self, that mostly happen when alone without any lash back, but on the same token, this aloneness is the point of bringing things back to self, with no excuses - as the gift of correcting oneself without interruption, that’s actually easier to do then tough being done.

Where all one have to do is to question one’s Self Positioning Placement to Self, by asking why are these thoughts prevalent in my mind, like how is it that I think others are in control of my feelings, when I’m the one who is in control of my feeling, or am I, and if not how do I control myself from reacting to what’s coming up in my mind, I mean I’ve been that person in so many ways that person, and still the same person asking my Self personal questions, that’s personable to me, about the persona’s I’ve created from the personalities I’ve embodied from the moment I opened my eyes.

So what happens when we’re alone is blueprinting how we live and what goes on in our everyday life, and when this point is corrected we start seeing things simplistically, in a complex world we create complexities about others, but to stop this I’ve looked into finding THIS that change the whole way I interact with me, when Alone I’ve learned to take self-responsibility, and now walking through changing every part of me, and that it. Check it out for yourself. Enjoy!

It happens when you’re alone.

Thanks for reading.




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