Carlton's Journey To Life

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Carlton
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Re: Carlton's Journey To Life

Postby Carlton » 06 Feb 2019, 21:12

https://carltontedford.wordpress.com/20 ... orrection/

Day 797: Make Up Artist Perspective (Correction)

Painting the moon red, showing the simulation of color, some would call the blood moon and wonder why we call it that, unbeknownst to the circumstances of change, with a best guess that we’ve killed more life than we’ve saved our own, but seen as a cool phenomenon through the lens of a telescope, that tells you the true nature of this existence, and Nope we still don’t listen, but praise the Lunar Eclipse as if Gods hand is at play and trying to tell you something.

Layers under the earth are lined with black Crude we use to roll around in our vehicles, pump heater and create fires when mining the earth, inspired by the mining being done to us, without our awareness, and don’t really want to know, that this crude is part fossilized decay of human bodies and animals alike that once walked the earth on different time lines, from cave men, dinosaurs to the girl next door life times ago, but Whoa, this is too much information, when only wanting to make up happy pictures in provocation that something better is out there in the next life, so f*** this one, Huh.

When waking up and realizing the mistakes we’ve made up to be miss takes and moments of spurted happiness, creates sadness on an astronomical scale that Nostradamus predicted but we didn’t listen, where some called him a witch to turn off his switch, so that we could continue live life in a perpetual state of blindness insinuated through darkness, everytime the Sun comes up, that blinds us from seeing the levels of programing like he did.

Interesting how we’re quick to write it off and ride off into the Sunset, stating I can’t wait to go to bed, so the past can pass me by which never happen but still here, claiming that it’s in the past and not relevant to me making money nowadays, but for days on end wonder how we got ourselves to the point of painting ourselves in a corner that for most, only a coroner could bring us out of, shouting at the top of our lungs, you did this to me, instead of seeing how I did ‘this’ to me, so for those as me who still choose not to see, re read the previous paragraph, just so I can see what I’m saying, and stop playing with the life I choose not to live and live it equally with all.

Let’s paint the town red, is the socially acceptable way to say I’m killing my blood cells every time I ignore my body telling me how I am allowing the system within me to sabotage my body, the chance to become life, by enforcing the blueprints of the system to be more engrained with me, through the reckless intake of alcohol, nonstop, because I’m not yet aware that everything can be used for a corrective purpose, I mean think about that for a moment, where corrective purpose is the understanding of us as everything around us - that we ingest in that could be assistive and supportive in a way, but first one have to get to know who one is as self, and one’s perspective purpose in one’s own life.
Ha, I didn’t know all of that was going to come out, but out it did and on to the correction before more consequences set in, Therefore;


I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to as a collective become a master at the Art of making things up, a gift from the sins of the fathers that our fathers knew oh so well, and so as the sons and daughter of this earth sprinted to following suit, claiming that’s all we know and knew nothing about the truth until of late and at times still choose to be late, instead of laying out a corrective life change for myself/ourselves.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to become a victim of chance, by my own hands, creating circumstances of perpetual mistakes when making things up, as I went along, alone in my life with others around me, never asking the question what am I doing/what are we doing here, as a statement for seeing and knowing something isn’t right, but just as an idea/thought in my head that I kept buried deep inside, to not be ostracized by others in my world and this reality, society doesn’t accept questioners.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to make a life for myself only in consideration of a mind I thought myself to be and not my body that is life in fact.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to become an art director that reacts to truthful picture shown by reality, then erase the slate in my mind to create something more pleasing to the eye, as the illusion of happiness.

I forgive myself that I haven’t accepted and allowed myself to see/realize/understand how I have played equal part in the make-up of this existence the way it is, by the miss takes I’ve made in my own world and reality, but blamed the masses out there for controlling me.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to use as an escape route from taking responsibility excuses and justifications as to why I picture things a certain way and not in all way, always.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to make it others responsibility for the way I’ve made up my life to be in the experience of me, instead of being the first responder to enact solutions to my own problems, and solve them through re creating my make up to being a real Stand Up guy, that Stands for all life equally. Therefore, I commit myself to instead of making up change to make a change in the way I see/do a view-things to doing my best in all that I do, that would bring forth the utmost potential I see as and for a purpose in my life, to share that with others.


I mean The frequency of change is within me and within you and you as me, as me as you and all, to make our relationships with one another substantial and not sub sequential, in the repeating of a made up past, failing to take responsibility and so pass on our sins as fathers and mothers to our children, but to live a corrected present, that would lead to a creative future with awareness, that IS’ best for all.

Thanks for reading.

Desteni.org



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Re: Carlton's Journey To Life

Postby mikelammers » 07 Feb 2019, 12:41

That was very supportive and cool to read for me. Thanks for sharing Carlton.



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Carlton
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Re: Carlton's Journey To Life

Postby Carlton » 07 Feb 2019, 20:10

Cool Mike, thanks for reading.



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Carlton
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Re: Carlton's Journey To Life

Postby Carlton » 09 Feb 2019, 20:21

https://carltontedford.wordpress.com/20 ... past-part/

Day 798: ‘Used by You’ (The Past Part)

With permission given we take advantage of living under the thumb of another in a way, that may or may not be in the best interest of others, ‘May’ because of the support you each get from one another, the ability to sound off, rant and rave into a board that initially accepts you for venting purposes, as long as the correction is then taken place, ‘May not’ when nit picking comes into play, the thinking and creating something out of nothing, that we all have experienced at some point in our lives, being on both ends, but a learning lesson and nothing to ‘ride home about’, thing is with nothing said, creates a dead space in between the two, that opens the door for thinking that one or the other is being ‘used by you’, but not the case, in some cases, we’ve just allowed our mind to step into the place where we were supposed to take the opportunity to create and live the understanding of who each other is.

Often time niceness is used as a door way to spitefulness when the rights we give another is taken advantage of, like a succulent pig licking it’s chops, because of finding a weak spot in the bone that holds no marrow and carefully chew on words that hurt, purposefully, then try nursing the other back to feeling good, by offering none less than a way given, which is usually sex, and I hate to say it, when this is not about you, but in the sense of experiencing it in relationships of my past, and money works to, to keep the friendship going, until the money runs out and so do you, I mean when is the last time this has been a topic of discussion, without fussing and cursing somebody out about it.

Almost never in a way, when almost never is the case, living relationships/friendships in oneness and equality, that’s undoubtedly a problem solver and dissolver of spite, when the light at the end of the tunnel seems to be dimming, and swimming in sorrow for NOTHING, when no thing has put us there but the idea of loss, fear of loss to be exact, when losing in this case is your best bet, I mean I’ll lose him or her, when the ready player one become an abuser and use usury in this case to get their rocks off, which is then reserved for the next episode, without me in it.

Addicted decisions, cause for gullibility, when adding diction to the equation, what’s not realized is the actual definition of who we are in the moment of panting for acceptance, then ranting when not receiving it, stating ‘I’ll do anything’ and that part right there is the trap that slaps us into a cage of submission with no bars, but freely given with a mission to someday get even Steven, but why did they use his name as a fall guy?

When the fall is ever so graceful, best conceived it was premeditated and waited upon for the right time to slip, then take some pills to fall asleep again and wake up in the morning without making a sound, tippy toing around, because if the other wakes up all hell is will break loose, (As it seems) that’s why First Shift is in high demand, because I rather deal with the world system instead of a morning mind, in the morning, because I can find solace thinking on my own, without being used as a verbal punching bag, because the other had a punchy dream, and wanted to use me as the medium or go between.

Another thing, although the house is clean, it’s not clean enough when things are not put back in the right spot, that often times changes when you’ve done all the work, in hopes that a perk could soon be in order, that’s an interesting quirk within a relationship, and too late to talk about when the mind sets in, but again, if you’ve faced it then own it as a component for building a healthy relationship with another, that’s cause for a healthy interaction with others, and a main component within a successful relationship, and if this makes you mad don’t take it out of another, because I once felt guilty for doing the same thing, that didn’t solve anything and made things worse, that would be a curse for anything New one is attempting to start.

To be continued….



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Carlton
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Re: Carlton's Journey To Life

Postby Carlton » 13 Feb 2019, 19:41

https://carltontedford.wordpress.com/20 ... -on-going/

Day 799: ‘Used by You’ (On Going)

Domination is never a factor per se, but a point of submission given, that’s given in a moment of weakness or addiction, addicted to a feeling, sought after to compensate for the lack of self-intimacy one should give to oneself before falling victim to the plight of usury and abusiveness, reciting the lyrics “Some of them want to abuse you”, “Some of them want to be used by you”, and “Some them want to be abused”, defining such as sweet dreams, and after the two minute drill of pleasure is complete, feel incomplete and depleted and want a cigarette to contemplate on what the F*** I’ve just done, for nothing. [Ring a bell!].

All in a moment of enjoying the perks of hell, that twerks our body into feeling useless as hell, and so want to get away, when coming back to reality, thinking that this reality is the cause of it all, when all in this reality cause our own hell, by using others and different things to advance our advantage, never taking the opportunity to advance one another, but see the girl in the red dress as a piece of meat and the guy in the red shoes as your saving grace, to be milked for goods.

Vampires in fact, with admirers we gain using the reel in affect as our picture perfect presentation, but behind the mask is a horrific mind, on either side where the deception runs deep, then go to sleep and have lucid dreams about being a predator, that’s a connection point created through the eyes of the mind, while thinking, this is the best God send of all time, then with nerves of steel look towards the heavens with clasped hands saying “Thank you” for sending me an “Angel”. Like really!

But little do we know the S*** we just got ourselves into, that shows how s*** for brains we really are when making decisions, like the decision being made on how this all relates to the point of Usury, that ‘I had no clue that I’ve been using you’, after the point comes out in the form of a break up, then wonder how can we make up the mistakes we’ve made, that’s already been made up, but in the wrong way, so forget about it and start correcting yourself today. Therefore, the correction would be;


I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to be subject to the point of usury, for using self-interest to my advantage, instead of taking the opportunity to advance my relationships and that with another in a productive way, and stay with the bounds of both being ready player ones.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to think/perceive/believe in being ready for anything, without proper preparation, the equation of self-acceptance and understanding through investigation.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to give permission through the eyes of addiction, to attain a feeling of energetic proportion, where the more I desire the more I lose sight on being intimate with myself.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to overlook the point of being used by you, in hopes that the using would be a mutual thing, that always end in confusion, because of the abuse that’s accepted on either end.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to have been the engine that brought down a sinking ship for allowing myself to be overly used, and abused with the idea that another would reciprocate, once I’ve done so much of what they’ve asked that never happened, and I never ask the question as to why am I allowing this to be done to me, and so became comfortable with being used - that abuses the point of being comfortable.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to accept victimhood in a strange fantastical way, as a collective with estranged ways of doing things, in role playing, rolling around in our minds in search to find someone else to excite our togetherness, but that’s a secret no one should know about, that most have done that needs to be corrected, except when the fantasy is about you and me, with no attachments to the point of usury.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not see/realize and Use, ‘Using’ a moment to take the opportunity to give as I would like to receive, that would insinuate the point of USE’ being US being Enough for one another, in any type of Friendship/Relationship/Partnership you’re in, as a definitive factor in the redefinition of Use, because it has always in all ways been Us anyway.


Point being the usury of self is projected outwards, that’s not seen to have an avid effect on the user in fact, because the energy feels great, but a point of pain we can’t see - that’s why in the midst of pleasure a lonely tear rolls down your cheek, and claim I’m in love. Think not, but to Correct, as “I” am a work in progress in every aspect of the words I speak.

Thanks for reading.

Desteni.org



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Carlton
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Re: Carlton's Journey To Life

Postby Carlton » 17 Feb 2019, 20:25

https://carltontedford.wordpress.com/20 ... stigation/

Day 800: The Sanctification of Investigation

Where along the line (at times) we sort of lose our way/footing, subtly re-creating a bubble of complacency, and forgetting about from whence we came, and the change the was enacted back then in the beginning of our process when we was all in, head over heel, heading up the hill, chipping away at the mountain of problems that bogged us down, sort of fizzed out once we reached a plateau and levelled out, then hit a hard spot, and stop climbing there for a moment, within the illusion that I’m so ever changing when in fact staying within an idea thereof and in front of us is the next phase that we better be ready for, and there is definitely more to come but will I be ready, me for myself and you for you?

The question is then how do one bring things back to self, go back to the basic, when basically we never left, meaning it’s always been here with me/with us, as that part that crutched our fall at times when awareness skipped our minds, we’re supported by the basics that we’ve engrained within ourselves through repetition and the initial decision we’ve made to stand up for life, no matter what, and do our part for all, but what’s easily missed, is the point of investigation, thinking that investigation is only from Here Forward, that neglects the past and past moments of introspection that we’ve already done on a slew of points, and forgot about it, while knowing, yes we were on to something back then as well as now being in our current position and placement in this process that we’re walking, and need to simply look back at times.

The difference between us and other people is nothing, but a stance and the tools we’ve gifted ourselves with, and used to investigate ourselves inner workings to realizations and past reactions, that created the patterns we live today, where now along the way we often time forget what we wrote and so realized, which I now see is/as the integral part of bringing things back to self, and going/getting back to the basics of our original stand, which is a point in hand of the sanctification of investigation.

With the redefinition of Sanctification being; Standing as and within the/a point one is attempting to and/or is so living, that houses no belief but an actual doing, ‘Investigation is/as such a point, and although done, more on what we’ve investigated still needs to be done that would keep us current when living the Basics we’ve come to know “Oh so well’, and well so knowing what we sometimes forget.

Interesting interaction with someone the other day, where within it came up; ‘Imagine if you will, if you could play back the recording of every word you speak to listen to what you’ve said/say, in every moment and in moments of the past’, that would be a point of real time investigation and a cross reference point to how we’re standing right now. I was then gifted in being able to hear my writing back to me, where the point of resistance was soon to follow, but listening to the actual words I spoke, shook me to see the investigation I’ve done on many point in the past, and the point of them resurfacing is not remembering my past and what I then wrote about, that I now still face, so the point of correction is me re reading what I wrote, that’s my point of going back to the basics, and facing what I’ve already laid out for me to walk, and erasing what I’ve already walked as a reaction, so that when the past resurface as a memory, I remember what I laid out for me to do in such moments and do it again.

If I resist, I must persist, because there’s a point I need to see, and if there’s a point I need to see I need to lay it out and dissect, and within the dissection up pops the correction, but if I had constantly looked back, I would see that I’ve already walked it, and if I walked it why am I reacting, when in fact the reaction need to be a refreshing, and what’s refreshing is the way we can revisit our points of correction within the investigation of things in our past, and that how things work out and turn out, when we constantly work on the points we’ve written about, and walk into the future living the preparation of our past, and glad when knowing how to walk a point in real time, so in times to come we can live real change, that only happens when being Sanctified to the word Investigation, lol.

To be continued…



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Carlton
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Re: Carlton's Journey To Life

Postby Carlton » 20 Feb 2019, 22:08

https://carltontedford.wordpress.com/20 ... -my-words/

Day 801: The Sanctification of Investigation (My Words)

So now that we’re back to the basics, what is Here to look at, when having to “crossing my eyes “I’s” to see the dot in the center of the “t”, being the bullseye of Self-Trust, in the chattering of teeth when realizing things are in reverse, and the “San’ in Sanctification, relates to the time wasted, within the Sands of time spent on running away from Self, into a room of complacency with complacency being that of the padding on the wall, without realizing how we’ve placed ourselves into a strait jacket, that straight jacked the potential we once saw ourselves in line towards and within, then miss the obvious every time we step away for a moment.

Back then, the then of now is right now and have always been present with every step we took, and take, attempting to save face and tempt fate by walking away/around in circles until we get it, and see the straight line to change, then take the first baby step on line with a rebirth in mind, that needs to be done when reaching the point of Nothingness and Amalgamate with the physical, as if it was nothing.

Which is foreign to most, so let me put it in terms most can understand; The saying I should have followed my first notion, with the good ole intuition, unable to tune in to self, because the lack of self-trust, that one had a first thought or premonition of the mind about, telling you things should go/be done this way, but invoked our own way of doing our own thing, that wasn’t the mind telling you, but the mind that pushed us to doing things our way, that felt like the right way, but didn’t work out right, and so ended up saying, I should have followed my first notion as Self in fact, with the need to look back (in this case) to realize, I once found myself and then lost me again, that negates the religious saying, “I once was lost and now I’m found”, such a profound realization to realize now. But wait,

Without the sanctification of investigation, at death one makes the mistake within a statement of wanting to be cremated, as I have experienced with a family member who recently passed, and interesting how when set in our own way, we set ourselves away from reality, the Real-I-Took for granted, but Y, just so others can say rest in peace and peace out with the believe that there is a better place waiting for me on the other side, which is a bold face lie that’s only seen when you get there, when Here is where it’s at, a moment to take responsibility for all the refractions we let happen, that rippled throughout existence (In fact) every time we abdicate our responsibility of Self, which in fact regards the world as a whole and me as myself.

It only takes one to say No, that was our moto in spite, that changed the way we lived life for ever more, until one said “From Here No Further” that ushered in the point of Awareness, and now every-Thing and Being Here is Totally Aware, and you can investigate it HERE to realize it for yourself, to understand W.T.F. is really going on, that Opens up a New way of looking at things, to seeing me within everything I look at, and take that as the motivation to changing myself, that starts with me bringing everything ‘Back to Self’, and correct the way I lived my life in the past and pass along the sharing’s of what I realized

For me what’s the use of getting mad when I can investigate the point, to point out to Self my excuses for becoming mad, which is abusive in fact to everyone around me, when walking away from living the grounded version of me, and walking away from being the best me I can be, that all started when I chose to stand up for life, yes mine my own to get to know me as all life, and make my reality a place of Response Ability, by walking through these consequences using the tools I was given, such as writing, I now like write as a point of investigation and Self-Forgiveness to release myself from the patterns I’ve been perpetuated, to living in ever moment my corrective and commitment statements, and that’s how I sanctify the point of Self – Investigation.

Thanks for reading.



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Carlton
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Re: Carlton's Journey To Life

Postby Carlton » 24 Feb 2019, 22:54

https://carltontedford.wordpress.com/20 ... nsibility/

Day 802: The Web of Responsibility

Reciprocated chaos only reciprocates chaos, but when reciprocating chaos is misconstrued as something else, sticks oneself into one’s own sticky situation, as a free-spirited communicator, communicating nonsense and Selfless Sense with no Sense of Self, if Self’s starting point is not common sense and continue perpetuating self-dominance, with no Promise to ever stand one and equal with all.

It’s all good to paraphrase the things that we learn, but what’s the use when not living the things that we learned, as if I earned the right to turn a back on a friend, and let them continue to sink deeper than they have, when knowing, upon a time, I’ve been there before, and couldn’t ignore the pulsating pain I was feeling, with everything stripped away and laying on the floor, how soon we forget ‘that doesn’t validate a thing’, because things that’s unseen is missed in between a contorted message and a message that mean something, like taking Responsibility Really means something, where Nothing in the world will ever change until we do, and live the change we advance upon ourselves, to never take advantage of the message that we’ve learned, and the principles that we walk, to live the principles that we walk and talk about without living the principles that we know, and so stand as an example to all we come in contact with and connect with the best parts of our own Self.

An entanglement of problems is a web of responsibility and obviously the push back is the things we suppress, then judge the very suppressed we’ve pushed inside ourselves, and hold our tongue to not say a damn thing about it, but jump to the chance to get our damned point across and call this infraction assisting another person, when it’s all my fault for not assisting myself and letting go things of the past before they get out of hand, to being the bearer of bad news that things got out of hand, and now stuck within the moment of decisions that we’ve made, vs taking responsibility for the decisions that was made.

“Web of Responsibility” – It’s never my way or the highway because my way never drove, but took a back seat and watched the mind drive me crazy, directed into a possession of thinking ‘they’re crazy’, instead of correcting the possession I found myself within, creating a web of lies and laying it in disguise, that I would eventually step into the trap I set for myself, but a minor set back when EVERYTHING can be forgiven, just as long as Self-Forgiveness is in everything I do, and the words that I speak is the response to my ability to consider others as I would like them to consider me. Therefore;


I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not see/realize the words I speak has an effect on others, even when in the context of assistance, to not considering they’re starting point of acceptance, which makes the web of responsibility my own as well and so take responsibility for the words I speak.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to place words in formulative conjectures without fine tuning the simplicity within them, simply put, to state the realizations I’ve had in the presentation of them for context.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to reciprocate chaos, unknowing to me, that’s veiled by good intention, then wanting to wipe my hand clean from a conflictual situation as if the situation just magically appeared out of Nowhere, that’s Now here, for all to take responsibility for, no matter how sore I may feel without the stench of pain, but the sorry that I didn’t say anything that’s often missed, and won’t miss the chance to take responsibility now.


And that’s it right there, where if one fall’s we all fall, but if one stands up, it’s not enough to just look at the stand, but also be the standing with, and relative introspection I’ve learned from it and keep it pushing, because no one is exempt from being a work in progress. So;


I forgive myself that I haven’t accepted and allowed myself to see/realize/understand the possibilities when standing as the point of responsibility taken, that awakens the utmost potential I’m walking towards reaching, and so I commit myself to when and as I am walking my process to keep a keen eye out for and refraction I may cause in others lives, in anyway what so ever, no matter how small or insignificant it may seem, it all matters to me, as I see/realize/understand, every Little thing within me needs to be corrected as well, so I can live within the well-being of my life.

Thanks for reading.



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Carlton
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Re: Carlton's Journey To Life

Postby Carlton » 28 Feb 2019, 20:53

https://carltontedford.wordpress.com/20 ... ner-point/

Day 803: The Center/ (Sinner) Point

The epicenter, Downtown in any city, smack dab in the middle of it all, where all the action is, where one wants to be, where one is, the core, where it all goes down, the North Pole, the South Pole, the
Equator (that regulates the temperature of the Earth), America’s position as shown on the map, ‘The One’, the tallest building in the world, the Heart, the Atrium or Stadium we all amass at, a Church/Mosque or Temple, we have Passover at, we love to be in the meat of it all, but if it all goes down, we vacate the premises, and go hide out in the country somewhere, away from it all or mole ourselves into underground tunnels to get away from it all, as if the “Rock” never cried out ‘there’s no hiding place’, looking to preserve our self-interested ways, then stand amazed seeing the destruction WE’VE allowed, although for most, it’s too late now, and only bring with us those we call the best of us, an all the rest of us can simply go to hell.

Imagine yourself in a boxed off room with a tv screen as big as the wall in the room, where we choose the chair in the center of the room, and let what’s being shown to us consume our time, and wait in anticipation for the next best line, ‘Oh how we’re so often ever shown ourselves’, being that we’ve create rooms to control ourselves, and call them Theaters and Cinemas alike, not once ever considering it’s the same as the mind, where we sit back and speak the lines that’s presented, out loud as if what we said we really meant it, and don’t own it, then dash to run away from the problem, and leave the mess we’ve made without looking to solve it from the center.

That’s why we love winter and the snow comes down, to cover up the mayhem we left on the ground, and I’mmmm dreaming for a white Christmas, and miss the obvious that it’ll melt again, but give ourselves presents for the mess we’ve made, with the illusion that I can start a new and recreate, then make a resolution in the same mind state, to be back at the center of attention again.

Where the Sinner comes in is; Sitting-in-Not-kNowing-Everything’s-REAL, but hide behind the ideals of everyone in the center, that’s why religion is a fascinating organizational belief, that welcomes you into a world of pain, so to blame the world for the pain I’m feeling, while suffering the little children that come unto thee, by teaching the little children to be just like ‘Me’ and wonder why society Never changed a bit, because we here in society won’t change our way of living, stating I’m not the only one everybody’s doing it, in pursuance of the hot seat next to the Man on the podium.

We’ve always been at the core of it all, at the core of our rises and the core of our falls, but choose to separate ourselves from hitting a wall, claiming they pushed me into it and not my fault, well if it’s not my fault, why am I feeling the pain, why am I the only one who feel this way, never questioning why am I not taking responsibility, to change the way my world revolves, around a core of ideals at the center of it all, with me being the engine and the powering mechanism, it’s time for me to take back my power of Self, and forgive the point of me being disempowered, and embrace what it really means to be at the center.

More to come…



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Carlton
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Re: Carlton's Journey To Life

Postby Carlton » 04 Mar 2019, 02:15

https://carltontedford.wordpress.com/20 ... int-b-t-s/

Day 804: The Center/ (Sinner) Point (B.T.S.)

A metropolis of thoughts is where we place ourselves in the Center of, within a City of Worry on Streets of Inaction - that when driving down, creates streaks of tension in or backs/shoulders and neck muscles, that makes our vision a bit blurry, unable to see straight or sit up straight, that lullabies us into falling asleep, lured into thinking all I need to do is sleep it off, which can be misconstrued as running away from the center of the problem, instead of realizing the pin point placement I’ve allowed for myself. And then at times the body needs to recuperate because of all the strain we put on it mentally, that’s shown physically with the attachment of pain, and the process we’re walking is not a walk in the park, but a shot in the dark when the point is not clear, that’s why it’s important to stay right Here and Beer the problem that’s not a substance of enjoyment, but an embracing and deployment of the Tool that we’re gifted, to see with clarity the State that I’m in and move forward to correcting my Center.

An interesting dynamic I discussed with a friend, where the patterns we allow is always the problem and what comes up after is the way we disavow it, then react to the additives instead of the root cause, that’s a point of pulling away from the center of it all, that’s cause for investigation the pattern in itself, of why didn’t I reach out to another for help, or even to share perspective as a listening ear, instead of listening to myself slipping away from here, but let’s be clear, this is a point we’ve all at some point faced – that it has become so Human to just run away, as I have ran away by turning the other cheek and every time get smack on the other side of my face, for me to look forward so I can see straight and bring myself back to the center/core of me.

Simply put we dash to the Center for attention and that’s it, claiming it’s a need to be around other people, but when around other people we choose not to interact, but react internally for the thoughts that we have, never looking at the pattern as a problem to be solved, but what comes up after we’ve taken the fall, but all is not lost, a point of minor adjustments and correction that goes a little something like this;


I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to sit on my morals as a center point of reflection, instead of the patterns I allow as the points of correction, and feel less incline to, when I see others doing the same thing, and so fail to take responsibility for the things that I see.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to let my perception be the centrifuge of my intellect, in telling exaggerated stories to keep the thrill alive (so to speak), on a wheel of repetitive consequence that goes around in circles and compressing to a point of ejecting out conflict, that’s shared by others in the center of my world, then spread out throughout the world in fact.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to lack intellect – internally electing a solid point on which to stand, because every point that’s away from fixing the core problem, is built on sand and so, not seeing/realizing/understanding, that instead of standing as the center point, I’ve been sitting on the fence as a Sinner watch life just pass me by, welcoming every point of distraction that comes my way, and so stay away from revealing the solution that is me.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to have been apt to run away from any part/trap of involvement that cause a ripple in my world and others within that, quick to wash my hands of the situation while exacerbating the energy thereof within it.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to think I can bring others in to my own self-correction that lessens the possibility of changing for me, but leave a back door open for blaming the masses without seeing, that we’re all ONE matter amassing, and the center of it all is the core of you and me.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not realize the directiveness that’s needed on all part/sides, when interaction with others, when at the center of a conversation should be words of stability that bridges the relationship at any and every stage, that saves one time from thinking, was this all for nothing, and rushing into and mind possessive energetic feeling, then asking myself what am I really doing here, as a point of finding my corrective starting point. Therefore;


When looking at the Center of all things that exist, you see strands of responsibility coming from within, that branches out into ways of purpose, on the road to reaching our utmost ability, and bring back to the center core of me, that which is best for all Life in fact, in acting in Equality with all Life that is Here, which starts with CORE acting my own Center/ (Sinner) point, and correcting any point of Fear that arise within me, because, “I am the Point”, and this is my Response Ability.


Thanks for reading.




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