Anthony Field's Journey to Life

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AnthonyF
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Re: Anthony Field's Journey to Life

Postby AnthonyF » 16 Oct 2017, 00:45

https://steemit.com/depend/@anthonyfiel ... -dependent

Being dependent

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to become dependent on something such as an activity or something to ‘do’ as my means or motivation of practical and physical movement.

I forgive myself that I have not accepted and allowed myself to move ME for ME.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that I do not have enough things or variation of things/activities to do in my day to day living and/or general life.

I see, realise and understand that I must look at my life, day to day living, general life, moment to moment living self-honestly to see what it is I can change, if I want to, what things to change, what things to add, or remove and within this, even writing this, I know I can easily add more activities and can give myself things to do that I will enjoy/grow/learn from, so I see, realise and understand that in reality, there is NEVER ‘nothing’ to do or as if ‘running out of things’ to do - this is just myself as my mind failing to take a step back, breathe and see all the many things I can do or even different things I can do/learn/enjoy.

I commit myself to move me for me, so that I don’t rely or become dependent on an activity or time, where for example I do something based on how much time I have, so if I have plenty of time left before I Have to for example leave home, then I will just put off/delay moving myself effectively and instead do something that is not necessary and in fact harms my physical body/health instead of really moving, pushing, dedicating myself in that moment to effectively move FOR ME, so I commit myself to move myself no matter what the time is, no matter how much time exists before doing something, no matter what activities or things I want or have to do, so then I am just moving me for me and that way I will always be effectively moving because me is the starting point for effective movement.

http://desteni.org/



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Re: Anthony Field's Journey to Life

Postby AnthonyF » 21 Oct 2017, 06:09

https://steemit.com/hindsight/@anthonyf ... -hindsight

Supportive hindsight

I know when I’ve used hindsight either in regards to myself or another, I’ve always used it in a patronising/abusive way. Like, “I should have done it THIS way..you should have done it THIS way..” and wanting to ‘prove a point’ to myself or another. Especially when it came to another and wanting to show that ‘my way’ was the best way, or the right way, and making one feel as horrible as possible…I mean, shit! That is fucked up to say the least. And also here, wanting to boost my own ego as if all I do and say is ‘right’ or ‘accurate’ and believing everyone else’s idea’s, suggestion’s etc are..invalid lol.

So I was thinking how can I use hindsight to be something that is supportive, and not condescending or patronising? Because in ‘hindsight’, removing these methods of being hurtful, harmful, abusive when finding out something AFTER the decision has been made, is still an important and CAN definitely be a cool thing, no it is a cool thing, that is how we learn from mistakes, how we develop, evolve. We always fuck up and make mistakes, then we see in that moment/after/later how we can do it better next time. Same as reflection. We reflect on what we did, and learn from it. Or reviewing. Whatever you want to call it!

And within this, it is to be as SUPPORTIVE as possible. Both to myself and to another. So I would say to another, and would like to hear from another too in the same instance, a form of encouragement for example when I/one has made a mistake and to keep trying or pushing or learning to improve/get better, and then also some tips/pointers and how to do it better next time, and perhaps even reflecting on why what I/one did did not turn out as well as it could have, but the point here is it is all supportive, encouraging - and it is NOT AT ALL patronising, condescending. And so I/one don’t make myself/another ‘feel bad’ about something, a mistake, or perhaps a ‘wrong’ move.

Recommend to check out this chat also with Destonians about being blinded/controlled by guilt, and not being able to see solutions therefore: http://forum.desteni.org/viewtopic.php?f=152&t=8398

http://desteni.org/



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Re: Anthony Field's Journey to Life

Postby AnthonyF » 05 Nov 2017, 09:10

https://steemit.com/novelty/@anthonyfie ... -a-novelty

It’s just a novelty

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to be directed by something that is nothing more than a novelty that wears off over time.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to become addicted to the energy of the ‘new’ the ‘uncharted territory’ the ‘new experience’ and the ‘what to expect’ types of energies/backchats that fuel the excitement of something.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to be deluded into believing something is ‘so exceptional’ or ‘so cool’ - but the inevitable realisation days/a week or so later that I was still believing as excitement, or as hype, and so when that dissipates, I realise that new experience is in fact not so ‘cool’ or ‘exceptional’ and is either something that I still like, or something that I see is actually not something I like so much, so here thus I commit myself to always be breathing often and consistently during the lead up/build up of any new experience and also breathing during the new experience itself, as well as the afterwards of experiencing the new experience, so that I know I am seeing clearly and not being directed by a novelty that I know within me will wear thin/show me the real of the situation/’new’ experience.

http://desteni.org/



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Re: Anthony Field's Journey to Life

Postby AnthonyF » 11 Nov 2017, 06:15

https://steemit.com/communication/@anth ... terjection

Day 1 - Effective communication and building through self-honest interjection

I commit myself to interject effectively within communication/movement, obviously not to the point of cutting someone off as their speech/communication/movement, but as feeding off one another or multiple people whereas the most effective relationships and communications are built and become stable and steady.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that to interject in a conversation as per speaking when I want to or have something to say, is rude, and I Forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that I must basically wait until the end of one’s sentence before I can open my mouth and formulate words/tones and/or actions and movements too.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that interjecting will cause one to forget what they are saying and thus believe I am doing a kind thing by allowing them to finish what they are saying entirely, but I see, realise and understand that I have been waiting much too long at times whereas I don’t build, create and EXIST in the conversation, communication which does mean I see, realise and understand to get involved, get into the conversation, communication and if that means to interject a lot, then so be it, despite being mid sentence to so to speak or after a word etc. So I see, realise and understand that I’ve taken the formulation of communication, bonds and relationships that are effective, OUT of these, and in my belief, believing myself to in fact be doing the ‘what is best for all’ thing in allowing one to speak and not forget what they have to say etc, but that is just a fear of mine and also another outflow of my ‘trying to be nice’ persona which is way over the top and existing way too much, if at all, so I commit myself to stop this trying to be nice persona whereas I am ONLY limiting myself and others through not building anything effective and substantial in life.

This was as you probably read in my self-forgiveness statements above, about communication. I see that I can improve a lot on this aspect, and this is a big part of it at least, I will see what else comes up/anything else in relation to communication and even behavioural/body movements/actions etc, I’m sure there is a lot. Communication is very multi layered from what I see and there are many aspects and dimensions too it, so I’m sure I will be writing more about this. But basically this is my attempt to no longer be ‘waiting’ or not participating in conversation/communication/movements/posturing where I can create, build, feed off so much more as a type of linking off others to create something awesome.

http://desteni.org/



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Re: Anthony Field's Journey to Life

Postby AnthonyF » 26 Nov 2017, 11:02

https://steemit.com/political/@anthonyf ... -your-life

Day 2 - What one issue will you tackle in your life?

One thing I’ve seen, and not disrespecting or undermining this, but when individual’s tackle/undertake/work on a particular issue in life or the lives’ of others, generally that will be their focus for the majority, if not all of their life/however long they can continue to participate in that. A lot of people for example focus on rights for the LGBT community and protesting etc, and then another individual or group will fight for animal rights in the form of veganism, and so on.

I suppose that is the subject that one is most passionate about, so all energy/commitment will go to that and working on changing that in society, but that is what I see does not benefit, because there are many, many, MANY more issues, there are in fact multiple, no, hundreds even..of issues that exist in society, the world, human’s etc. So, maybe so, dedicating your life to changing or attempting to change a singular subject may be beneficial, or somewhat, but I see it as not nearly enough.

I don’t see one particular subject/issue that requires more change than another, in many dimensions and ways, they can all relate in fact and all contribute to the worst of us.

That is why I choose to focus on the source point as the mind that requires CHANGE. Because you change the source point in how we see, how we think, how we judge, how we speak, how we move, how we react, how we help, how we assist, how we support, and ALL OF THESE subjects/issues will change and improve just. like. that.

When you look at this, it is a simple thing in fact. If the starting point/source/mind is pure, then no impure/not beneficial outflows will come to be.

And thus..I’d recommend to do the same, to take it from the top, the start, the SOURCE, because there is nothing that is further back than the source, the origin, the starting point - that is how, why, where, when, what…as all that we do in life, every action we take, every word we speak, every reaction we have, every judgement we make, every fear we participate in, every emotion/feeling we go through, every…everything!

In a way, it sounds too easy, that we can just change the starting point and everything else will simply work. It is easy in a way, I mean, the general workings of it and what to do are easy, but the surprising part that I found, was the difficulty involved in changing my starting point/source, because an unbelievable amount of patterns, programs as my misguided/mislead and yes, impure starting point/source as my mind in fact existed.

And a large part of that also that I found in my life and I’m sure other’s will find/believe, is that I was already pure mostly, or kind mostly, if not ENTIRELY. But that was so easy to change when I literally wrote my first self-forgiveness statement as seeing the depths within myself and what I’ve come to be and exist as in my life.

So, I’d also say to STOP thinking you are PERFECT or NEAR-PERFECT. I am sure you’ll be surprised to see that you are not so perfect, and in fact the total opposite of anything akin to perfection.

And I do say this based on my own experience, because I thought, and actually specifically, I LIKED to think I was perfect in many ways, for me, mainly I liked to think I was one of the kindest people ever, one of the best listener’s, and at times, other attributes that would come and go that I liked to think I was, but I was 100% WRONG, and gladly so, because I was unable to uncover sooooo many things that I did not realise I was, so many patterns/programs/behaviours/outflows, and I have and will still continue to change them.

This process has not just been eye opening, it is more akin to LIFE opening. I have seen sides to me that I did not know existed, and sides to me that I allowed to be dormant, that I have now awakened.

http://desteni.org/



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Re: Anthony Field's Journey to Life

Postby AnthonyF » 26 Jan 2018, 10:03

https://steemit.com/ego/@anthonyfield/a ... -direction

A gentle push in the right direction

We can’t ever tell or force another to do something that perhaps works for us and/or that we like and/or that we see could assist another. That is in fact only going to make that person we are trying to send a message to, actually do the complete OPPOSITE in avoiding that message, because we’re being much too pushy, much too forceful, too ‘in your face’.

I see this as hugely important when it comes to ANYTHING we want to bring to another’s attention, whether it is something we see could benefit the health of one, down to something we think another may enjoy. Either way, a simple introduction is more than enough.

I have seen in my life for example, where I’ve taken this wayyyyyyy too far! And I’ve gone past the introduction, and into the structure, and even at times, the conclusion. But basically, trying too hard to show one something.

When I look back at these instances to, it was definitely mainly for my benefit. Lol. Which is funny in a way. Like, even though I made out that this message, as in, the message of whatever it was/anything I was trying to give to another - even though I was trying to make it out/make it as appealing as possible, it was just in fact an act to try and make this message look as good as possible and as apparently beneficial as possible for another.

What comes to mind is having a present wrapped in a singular colour, and then me making it more fancy with a bunch of ribbons, stickers etc lol.

The perfect present/package to deliver to one.

I did just want the approval, the ‘satisfaction’ of another doing something, whatever it may be, and then me ‘reaping’ the benefits through knowing that “Hey, I introduced them to that, YAY ME!!”

EGO.

And thus I’ll keep working with this gentle push/introduction and allow one to do what it is they want to do, because that is only a decision that one can make ON THEIR OWN.

http://desteni.org/



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Re: Anthony Field's Journey to Life

Postby AnthonyF » 27 Feb 2018, 03:37

https://steemit.com/embarrassed/@anthon ... arrassment

What to take from embarrassment

Something that sticks with me was what one said quite a number of years ago, about 4 or 5 actually (thought it was longer initially).

I’ve always had an issue with ‘embarrassing’ moments and the general sensation of being embarrassed. I’m sure most can relate too in some way or another. I remember I was at an event 4 or 5 years ago with quite a number of people, and something happened in relation to the chair I Was about to sit on or was sitting on lol, I can’t remember exactly, it could have fallen underneath me or it broke or something, I think actually it broke, one of the chair leg’s, and it made a hell of a noise.

A hell of a noise, coupled with a visual cue of me falling lol. I got everyone’s attention at that moment. I immediately went into embarrassment and it was evident on me/within me. I just wanted time to move fast so that it could be ‘forgotten’ lol, or at least the attention moved from me so I could ‘feel better’ within myself.

But at that time, the people I was with (2), we all had a laugh. My laugh was more layered with embarrassment and shyness, but 1 of these people said that it was a good thing to have moments like this, these types of ‘embarrassing’ moments, one’s that draw attention, draw laughter. The person said that and explained, because having these moments assists us, not only in relation to these moments and not being so embarrassed by them, but in generally existing and not worrying/caring what others think type of thing.

So, that still sticks with me. It was a very good point/lesson/reminder, what this person said.

Doesn’t mean I have since or will lol, purposely fall over or whatever ha, to assist myself in getting comfortable/not worrying what I or others think, but it’s certainly a good reminder to have when such a moment does happen.

It’s true though. Also, the more one expresses, exposes themselves, the much higher chance of apparent ‘embarrassing’ moments occurring, and of course, no moment should be embarrassing, if it is, then we’ve accepted and allowed some type of emotional response/manifestation in us.

Solution: To laugh it off. To also see why it happened in the first place, can we rectify/change this so it does not happen again - like, what have we learnt and what can we take home from this experience?

So, let’s all embrace, enjoy, learn from, laugh at and in the end, assist ourselves in these apparently ‘embarrassing’ moments, instead of creating some huge deal in our mind’s as thoughts, emotions, feelings, worries, judgements, etc, etc - why waste our time with all of that shit? Just LET IT GO. MOVE ON.

http://desteni.org/



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Re: Anthony Field's Journey to Life

Postby AnthonyF » 02 Apr 2018, 05:38

https://steemit.com/chore/@anthonyfield ... ed-have-to

Want, need, have to

I’m catching myself out these days, when I use such terminology as “I want to…”, “I need to…”, “I have to….” - well, actually only when I say the latter two there, the NEED and HAVE TO.

Because with the WANT TO, it is evidently lol, something I genuinely WANT to do, not that that WANT is always something that is what is best, so that shows me that I must be aware of when I say I WANT to do something, as well as when I say I NEED to do something/I HAVE to do something.

Like when someone asks me what I am doing tomorrow/something along those lines, and I can of course just say the thing without the WANT/NEED/HAVE TO, but I’m sure as you all know, when it is perhaps a type of what we see as a ‘chore’ or something we don’t WANT TO as much do, we may use I HAVE TO…or I NEED TO….

Things for example that I see yes, as ALL things lol, require time, dedication, effort, patience perhaps, persistence perhaps, and I see that these things are what are helpful for all, myself included. BUT, even I see here a red flag, because this example I am speaking of is ‘moreso’ for others.

But that should not mean a thing to me. Help, assistance, support. I mean, if that is what I am doing, or any are doing, then there should not be any questioning.

I commit myself to WANT to do everything in my life, so that I can change it from a ‘force’ to an ‘enjoyment’ and an ‘appreciation’ and an ‘understanding’ and an ‘embracing’.

I commit myself to WANT to make money to benefit myself, others, to live, survive, enjoy, embrace, evolve, change.

I commit myself to WANT to assist, support, because I want everyone to be treated equally and this thus is my action/example of that equality.

That’s all for now, I’ll see how I go living this WANT in my life.

http://desteni.org/



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Re: Anthony Field's Journey to Life

Postby AnthonyF » 03 Apr 2018, 06:01

https://steemit.com/forgiveness/@anthon ... -statement

Day 3 - The importance of the commitment statement

Self-forgiveness for me has been genuinely life changing. All for the best.

But I remember also when I first started investigating and getting into the self-forgiveness structure and how to write it out etc, I at the time saw the self-forgiveness statement specifically as the most vital statement, and basically within that, disregarding the commitment statement.

If you investigate the structure of writing in TOTALITY that Desteni provides (links at bottom) then you will in fact see that the self-forgiveness statement specifically is but ONE part of the totality of bringing forth genuine change.

So, this was the error I made, myself. I was still writing out commitment statements (as one learns in DIP Lite course for beginners/anyone interested in this whole process of self-change and improvement) but after I finished that course and I was writing for myself/blogging publicly, I either wrote very little of actual commitment statements, or, when I did write them out, they were too general and didn’t get to the ‘heart’ of the matter, the actual change that I required to bring forth.

Fortunately, when I decided to start on the next course (DIP Pro), I had buddy support and it was stated to me about my commitment statements, how they were quite lacking. And it did make total sense, because whilst my self-forgiveness statements WERE working, in that I was letting go of these points that had directed me in life and so I had created this blank slate so that I can create myself in moments/life that is what is best for all, from then, and because I lacked the appropriate commitment statement, I didn’t know what to do or what direction to head towards.

That commitment statement is me telling myself HOW and WHAT I am going to do with this new blank slate and HOW I am going to assist myself to choose the best possible course of action and direction. Lol, so I was absolutely only going half of the way there to any appropriate change.

Not to also mention the part before that, the realisation statement, which one writes out to see the errors of one’s ways and also actually leads into the commitment statement because the realisation statement can provide a framework as to the structure of the commitment statement.

So, I had those parts working overall quite effectively for myself, the self-forgiveness statement and the realisation statement. I thought that was enough, but no lol.

The reason I have brought up this whole topic/post, is because in my recent writings especially, I have seen that a lot of the time I go straight into the commitment statement. Why, because I have already done the necessary self-forgiveness previously, even months before lol, so I am catching up with myself and seeing that I need to put in a plan of action and live that plan of action for myself.

So, my advice to anyone would be not to skimp on any of the finer details!

Actual website: http://desteni.org/

DIP Lite course for beginners/any that are interested: http://lite.desteniiprocess.com/



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Re: Anthony Field's Journey to Life

Postby AnthonyF » 15 Apr 2018, 11:08

https://steemit.com/self-interest/@anth ... f-interest

Day 4: Getting back my self-interest

Or, getting back my interest in self.

What I’ve found through numerous 1 on 1 conversations with the initial stranger, is that I rarely ever speak as much about myself, my life, my hobbies, my interests, what I do, what I enjoy, what I dislike etc. So if someone asks me about any of these, I give an answer, but it is more like a dot point. There is no detail. And I see this is because I lack interest in myself, I believe myself to be NOT interesting, and so to keep engagement possible/alive or create it, I allow another to speak/speak about themselves and their life, because I want engagement to happen, but failing to realise, myself, that engagement, true engagement as an effective communication as EQUALS, ahem, happens when EACH provide, equally.

It’s interesting. When I do look back at my life and conversations I’ve participated in, or anytime I speak, I have always had this fear of showing self-interest, as in, making it all about me, like an ego, like a “I’m the best.” type of thing.

So because of this fear, I’ve gone the complete opposite direction and now show no interest in myself and only interest in another and basically keep pushing them to open up about themselves because I believe it’s in everyone’s best interest.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear self-interest.

I forgive myself therefore that I have accepted and allowed myself not to display interest in myself.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to view myself in all facets as dull.

I forgive myself that I have not accepted and allowed myself to find a balance between how much I share, what I share, and then allowing another to share their part where a back and forth happens.

I forgive myself therefore that I have accepted and allowed myself to keep everything bottled up within me whereas there IS in fact this want to share, to speak about myself, my life etc, but because of the fear of self-interest and the judgments of me as DULL, I never do and lose the opportunity, and just suppress.

When and as another asks me about me, my life, what I do etc, and I Desire to give a bullet point like answer, aka, a few words, I stop and breathe. I see, realise and understand that this person is taking a genuine interest in me/what I do etc, thus I should be providing a genuine answer/response that gives them what they seek, and allows me to share with detail for an actual effective relationship/communication to take place and evolve.

I see, realise and understand that it is the exact same when I ask another about them/their life, albeit, my asking is also laced with fear of self-interest of myself and judgments of me being DULL, but when another does answer/respond, I go into more questions because I actually am very interested about what they do, and through this I learn, I develop, I gain, I understand, I build, as they do when I answer/respond.

I commit myself to share me.

I commit myself to open up me.

I commit myself to put myself on show.

I commit myself to face my fears of self-interest by continually speaking about me, taking a pause, then continuing, or changing the subject into what else I like to do/something related, whereas I practice and engage myself and another and learn what it means to share myself as per detail/being in-depth, and not just stuttered info as a dot point, as a quick means of escape so that I can stop being dull in my judgment and allow another to speak.

I commit myself to appreciate myself by stopping and looking at what I do in my life, all the finer details.

I commit myself to share myself as if I am a novel, as opposed to a book of a few pages where I am mostly made of just images with very little words.

I commit myself to show an interest in myself as I equally show an interest in another.

http://desteni.org/




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