Marleys Journey To Life

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Marley Dawkins
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Joined: 16 Jun 2011, 19:33

Re: Marleys Journey To Life

Postby Marley Dawkins » 22 Jul 2018, 22:02

http://equalityonenessonearth.blogspot. ... ithin.html

Some things are uncertain in life, while some other things are complete certainties - for instance it is certain that you will take a piss at some point today, but you living to 100 years old and beyond is an uncertainty.



Life is full of these certainties and uncertainties - today we are looking at a certainty surrounding the point of jealousy.



Because if you are successful in anything you do in life, you can guarantee that while many will praise you for the work you have done, many others will experience a powerful jealousy experience towards you.



It is important that when this occurs that you do not react, that you maintain your stability through breathing not allowing the spiteful thoughts of others affect you.



This is something I have been facing recently in multiple scenarios, I spoke about how the jealousy of others caused a group to try to frame me for something I didn't do in my last blog.



However that was a mixture of racism as well, but also recently I have been seeing the purity of jealousy in one of my work offices coming through in a lot of work colleagues.





The company announced in the past few weeks, that they are setting up an elite team comprised of the 12 most effective agents in the company.



Every agent that was picked for this elite team has been with the company at least 3 years. But I was also picked for this elite team, even though I have only been with the company for 9 months.



Me getting offered this position was not because I have any special connections in the company, it is purely based on my results which the owners of the company have been very happy with.



Fascinating that a lot of work colleagues have not been happy about this though - I understand why they are jealous, because there is over 100 people in my branch of the company and over 500 in total in the building itself.



When this was announced I only had two work colleagues congratulate me, meanwhile everyone else said nothing, but in their minds and in the company gossip a lot has been said about me.





My results have made some of the experienced agents not picked for the elite team look ineffective, so people have reacted in embarrassment towards themselves, annoyance, judgement and jealousy towards me.



Many feel its unfair, but statistically I deserve this position, as I have only done this through hard work.



But I have seen people, ignoring me, rolling there eyes when they see me, not even willing to say hello, people leaving the room when I enter, and random shit talking about me behind my back.



Of course I cannot control what another thinks about me in their mind, because as the old saying goes - haters gona hate.



That's how we are pre-programmed as mind consciousness system robots - me personally I unravelled the poisonous thoughts of jealous years ago. or I thought I did, because don't get me wrong I can still experience jealousy, but it is very rare, and I will not allow it to control me when it comes up. Because when I see someone doing something exceptional in life - it makes me want to congratulate them and to take inspiration from their performances.



But its been interesting looking at my mind, seeing how I have reacted to this jealousy reaction I have seen from many staff in the office since my inclusion in the elite team was announced.



Its almost been like I have gone into this ashamed experience, ashamed that I have performed so well and caused many of the staff to jealous and dislike me because of this.





As if I have to apologise for the quality I am producing which is ludicrous, because if we do something well in life, shame and felling like we should apologise to those who are jealous are not thoughts that we should experience nor are they thoughts that support us in anyway.



I can remember multiple times in my life, when I look at my life I notice a pattern like this - I can remember multiple scenarios throughout my life, where a group of people became jealous of something I did and I experience this shame, this feeling of almost needing to apologise for making the others look ineffective.



In nearly every company I have worked for I have seen this, because usually my focus, determination , vocabulary and understanding of the human mind helps me to excel very quickly in any company I am in.



This incident last weekend I saw jealousy and racism in others towards me, then I expereinced shame of my skin colour for a moment and shame that a woman was enjoying talking to me in a siatuation which caused these other males to be jealous and then attack me.



I remember the first large company I ever worked for when I was about 19, I was offered three promotions in less then one year, which resulted in me having my own team of 30 agents working under me within 18 months - most were jealous of this especially the older ones below me, and again I experienced this shame.



Then years before I remember in College when I was about 16, I had sex with a girl who a lot of the guys wanted and couldn't get, I can remember this jealousy from the guys at college and this shame experience that I made them feel bad.



Then when I was 14 I remember when I was training shoot fighting all the time, I was the only under 16 that was training with the adults - there was this tangible jealousy from of my younger training partners and again I felt shame that my results were so effective because it was making some of the others young fighters feel bad.



I can recall years prior to that a similar experience surrounding a sticker collection at school when I was about 8. So this is something that has been occurring repeatedly throughout my life and it has never assisted me.



Also It was around this time, around 8 where I myself experienced a lot of jealousy towards some of my friends at school regarding the point of family - jealous they had there mum and dad at home, jealous that their mum was not disabled and jealous that they generally seemed to have a normal family.



This jealousy nearly consumed me through teenage years and I was lucky I had the assistance I did from the right people at various points in life, to stop this jealousy/anger cycle.



It is all still relevant here, so join me next time as in self-honesty I continue to investigate and correct this shame experience when I am faced with jealousy from others, because it does not assist me in living what is best for all life here in equality and oneness.



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Marley Dawkins
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Re: Marleys Journey To Life

Postby Marley Dawkins » 29 Jul 2018, 22:02

http://equalityonenessonearth.blogspot. ... ithin.html

Lets look closer at jealousy and shame, as I have faced these points recently, while in my experience these emotions do not and have never assisted me in my life in living what is best for all life in equality and oneness.



So walk with me -



I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to react in shame when I am faced with the jealousy of others towards me in one of my current work places - I realise that this shame experience is from almost wanting to apologise to the people who are jealous towards me, yet all this does is cause my performances to be affected, purposely limiting my skills and capacities, so as to try and reduce peoples jealousy.



I forgive myself that I have not realised that limiting myself through this shame, is only allowing myself to be controlled by the internal experiences and actions of others - at a detriment to myself, keeping myself in separation from the physical which is unacceptable.



I forgive myself that i have not realised in each breathe that the only reason people are becoming jealous towards me is because they are competing with me, feeling my achievements are unfair that they could do better, desiring what I have done, but also fearing that they will never achieve what I have - so these people allowing my actions to cause these kinds of reactions in them, is really a support for them to deal with unnecessary issues they have in their mind



I forgive myself that I have not realised in every here moment, that I cannot control how someone reacts to me, all I can ever do is make sure hat I am stable as breathe throughout whatever mental episode this person/persons is having towards me - because it is only when I am breathing clear here that I can apply common sense.



I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that I need to apologise for performing well in anything I do which causes jealousy in other's - when in reality these thoughts need not occur and do not assist me in anyway whatsoever.



I forgive myself that I have not realised that this shame experience is actually a defence mechanism deriving from my ego, where I believe that I am responsible for other peoples experience which of course is nothing but self-deception.



I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe in certain moments like when others experience jealousy towards me, that I am responsible for their mind and therefore "have to" be ashamed that I am causing them this reaction - when in reality it s not me who is causing there reaction, it is that persons own allowance and lack of direction of their mind that is causing their reaction towards me.



I forgive myself for not realising in every breathe that this capitalist system is designed to programme our thinking to underachieve, thus automatically jealousy can occur towards anyone that we see overachieving in anything.



I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to define myself as someone who doesn't want attention - so when I am effective at something causing myself to get attention from others, I fall into this shame experience, to try to reduce this attention.



I forgive myself that I have not realised that I fallen int this pattern of shame towards myself multiple times in my life -



So I forgive myself that have accepted and allowed myself to be ashamed of my skin colour in various moments in my life, due to the reaction it seems to cause in others - yet I have realised in my life that racism is a real part of this world and it is not different skin colours which is the cause, it is mankind's inability to see that we are all here as this one breathe, skin colour is completely irrelevant because we are all equal as life.



I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to experience shame when I am interacting with an attractive female, when I can see it is causing others to be jealous - again this shame makes no sense because if someone is jealous of a conversation I am having with someone, then I am actually assisting them to also communicate with people more effectively.



I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to experience shame when I have been given promotions ahead of older/more experienced colleagues in previous companies when I was younger - I see how I have carried this my entire working life, right into a company I currently work at, as my recent promotion has shown me.



I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to experience and carry this shame of when I had sex with a girl when I was in college and the jealousy it caused in some guys on campus.



I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to experience shame when I was younger training shoot fighting and was given an opportunity to be the first under 16 to train with the adults, which caused jealousy in the other young students.



I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to experience this shame experience when I had a better sicker collection then most at school which caused a lot of jealousy towards me - I can recall even virtually giving all my stickers away to my friends eventually, to try and get rid of this shame at the time.



I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to experience jealousy towards friends that had bigger families then mine when I was younger, I remember trying to make my friends feel ashamed of having a bigger family then me.



I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to experience jealousy towards friends growing up who did not have a disabled mother.




I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to experience jealousy towards friends growing up who had both parents living with them.



I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to experience jealousy towards friends and people I have met throughout my life who seem to have a normal family - when In reality we cannot control who is our family and this jealousy has never assisted me, it has only ever made me bitter about my family.



I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to be jealous towards friends and people I have met in life who are of pure Aryan blood - I have realised that there is no genetics that gives any type of beings more superiority then any others, because we are all equal as life.



I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to pretend in dishonesty that I didn't care about the things I was jealous towards others growing up, when in reality not only was I reacting but I was also trying to manipulate the person to feel ashamed for having more then me.





I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to use logical self-manipulation to try to cause shame in another when I was jealous of something abut them.



I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that I was "over" any jealousy experience towards another, when In reality if that were the case then I would not have reacted as this shame to the jealousy I have been receiving from others recently.



I forgive myself that I have not realised in the moment this shame experience arises that being stable, being content as this breathe makes more sense, because my actions are causing others to have to question themselves as this jealousy experience, which is a form of assistance to them.



I commit myself to not allowing myself to experience shame when I am faced with people being jealous towards me, as I realise this pattern has been happening for too long and does not assist me to live whats is best for all life in self-honesty here - so as and when I see my mind having thoughts based in shame when others are jealous, I stop and breathe, I do not allow myself to replay this pre-programme, I allow for no interaction. I breathe and continue to breathe until there is no more thoughts that come up which will indicate my transcendence of this point.





I commit myself to living the realisation that no matter what I do in life, I cannot control the experience that anyone has towards me in any moment, therefore reacting to the reactions others have towards me makes no sense, because I can only direct myself here as this breathe in this life, which is the greatest assistance I can provide anyone who has been moved into reaction by my actions.



I commit myself to not allowing myself to experience jealousy towards anyone in my life, I realise that while I have done effective work to reduce jealousy, my reaction towards others jealousy recently shows me I must be aware and continue to align myself - so s and when I see my mind having thoughts of jealousy towards another for anything, then I stop and breathe I do not allow myself to engage or participate in anyway, I stand here as this breathe no matter how many times the thoughts come up, until the thoughts are no more.



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Marley Dawkins
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Re: Marleys Journey To Life

Postby Marley Dawkins » 05 Aug 2018, 21:13

http://equalityonenessonearth.blogspot. ... -wild.html

Has someone called you wild before? Do you define yourself as a wild person? If you have then this blog will be of interest to you and will be of support to you.



But what does the word wild mean? It actually has a whole host of definitions such as -



1. living or growing in the natural environment, not domesticated or cultivated.

2. Uninhabited, Uncultivated, Inhospitable, Rough, Stormy, Primitive, an indication of distraction or strong emotion.

3. Lacking discipline or restraint, very enthusiastic, excited or angry.

4. Not based on sound reasoning or probability.

5. Treating a person harshly so they become untrusting or nervous.

6. (In plying cards) deemed to have any value, suit, colour or other property in a game at the discretion of the player holding it.



So before I went to work the other day I had a thought come up in the evening - I haven't had a shave in while, should I do that now? "No its wild like me, so I will leave it."



Then my friend who I spent a few days at the weekend with, asked me the other day - what should we do today? I said go out in the wild and walk the dog.



On the way to walking the dog in the wild, I was listening to some wild metal music, driving fast and answering a phone call and telling the person in a wild fashion to stop calling me.



Then later in the evening I trained then watched some wild fights, then the next day in the morning I researched some wild conspiracies. Then a female friend implied I have some entertaining wild mannerisms when I am explaining these wild conspiracies, then she implied I am also wild in the bedroom.



So I started looking at this point of wildness, being a "wild man": my hair, my music taste, my attraction to spending time in the wild around animals, my enjoyment of martial arts, exaggeration, my enjoyment of most high octane sports, my attraction to investigate wild conspiracies, my lack of regard for manners, my sex drive, my driving style, my often bombastic mannerisms, my general tendencies etc.



It seems I have defined myself through wilderness, being wild - which has the benefits of laughing in the face of fear and putting a lot of passion in things I do in life.



Yet at the sometime, this self-definition also detriments me by keeping me in separation from physical reality, it is a pre-programme - one which has the consequences of being too rough with people in general, being a harsh character, lacking restraint, which can make others nervous, getting angry or excited quickly, often relying on "luck" instead of probability which is dangerous.



All of these kinds of consequences do not assist me in living what is best for all life, so I must realign this wilderness within me, to tame this beast.



I remember defining myself as wild years ago when I was a kid around 8 years old - I often felt frustration about various things in my life, often I would feel like a black sheep, a lone wolf. I can remember at this time how much I loved the marvel superhero Wolverine for instance and the more feral he was the more I enjoyed his character - I would sometimes jump around in the forest using

sticks for claws, sniffing things and speaking in a gravelly voice like Wolverine.



So it was around this age where I first created this Wild character within me, and through the years of holding onto these memories and adding new layers to this wilderness - has brought me to where I am here, where this self-definition of being wild is in full effect within and as me.



I commit myself to removing this pre-programming with self-forgiveness and learning through self-corrective application of breathing and common sense of when it makes sense to be more wild in life and when one must not be wild, instead of reliving a cycle on eternal repeat.



Join me next time as I continue to investigate and correct this wilderness.



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Marley Dawkins
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Re: Marleys Journey To Life

Postby Marley Dawkins » 12 Aug 2018, 21:28

http://equalityonenessonearth.blogspot. ... art-2.html

Being attracted to the Wild, being wild, this wilderness must be tamed because if things become too wild within anything we do in life, then it is certain that mistakes will be made, issues will be created with others, certain consequences will not be seen until it is too late - very much like the late Steve Irwin, who himself could not see the consequences of his own wild nature as a person.



So lets walk -



I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to desire to have things, interact with things and be wild - I realise that this desire for wilderness, does not assist me in living what is best for all life and only keeps me in separation from physical reality which is unacceptable.



I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to exist as wilderness, as this wild character where I believe that things that are wild in someway are more interesting and better in someway.



I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to define myself as Wild, which I realise is a pre-program which controls my actions through a cycle of thoughts based on embracing anything wild.



I forgive myself that I have allowed and accepted myself to create a polarity friction on the word Wild where I define anything wild as good and anything not wild as boring, slow and bad - I realise that this polarity keeps me in separation from physical reality and feeds into the separation of everyone else in this world in relation to this.



I forgive myself for not realising that the word wild is just that, it is wild which is no better or worse then anything that is not wild.



I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to want to impress others with my wild nature in complete separation of myself .



I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to become addicted to the energy of danger - I realise this has the consequence of me putting myself in uncompromising positions almost on purpose, which is completely unnecessary.



I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to think any day is better when something wild happens, when in reality if a wild event has no benefit for all life equally then it is not acceptable as with any event on any day.



I forgive myself for not realising that enjoying wilderness is not a problem, but being addicted to and controlled by a wild character pre-program is a problem.



I forgive myself for not always seeing the consequences of this wilderness on others, for instance being too harsh with others, lacking restraint, excitement or anger quickly coming up in moments, which can make others nervous which is unacceptable.



I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to sometimes rely on "luck" instead of solid probability as this wild character, which only creates actions and outcomes of self-interest/instability/uncertainty, instead of common sense and best for all action.



I forgive myself for holding onto memories of imitating wolverine as a child placing more value in him then any other superheroes because of his wild nature.



I forgive myself for defining myself as this wild beast when I was a kid, this outcast beast in the family, which is really the inception point of this wilderness character, where I have added layers to it through the years - now I take self-responsibility here to change this wild character, to walk in self-honesty here as life instead of being directed in separation of myself.



I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to trust animals more then humans and because animals come from the wild, I have allowed this as a justification to add layers to this Wild character I have allowed through the years.





I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to use the fact that animals come from the wild as a justification to feed into this wild character, which is not acceptable because there is no justification to feed into separation.



I commit myself to not allowing thoughts based on valuing anything for being wild as better then anything else - so as and when I see my mind having thoughts based in wilderness value, I stop and breathe, I do not allow myself to engage with these thoughts. I continue to breathe until these thoughts do not come up anymore, so that as this breathe I direct my own interaction within the wilderness of this world from a starting point of whats best for all here.



I commit myself to living the realisation that things that are wild do not have more value then things that are not, and wild things can be abusive, just looking at the visceral abuse that happens in the wild everyday shows that - so I have to be breathing here, so I can assess with common sense if any wild undertaking is really whats best for all, or just based in self-interest.



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Marley Dawkins
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Re: Marleys Journey To Life

Postby Marley Dawkins » 19 Aug 2018, 21:26

http://equalityonenessonearth.blogspot. ... hines.html

Apathy is an interesting word, we have all experienced this before - it is the lack of feeling, emotion, interest or concern. Its a state of indifference, or the suppression of emotions such as: concern, excitement, motivation or passion.



This apathy experience is not something I experience often - however, I noticed it come up recently when I was discussing the point of machines taking more and more jobs in the world today.



Now while this is true, machines really are taking more peoples jobs every year - yet reacting to this as this apathy experience is not supportive, it merely keeps me in separation from physical reality.



This apathy towards machines taking more and more jobs, this has tainted my learning at times, because it becomes a justification for not trying my very best to learn something or change something - especially if that knowledge I'm learning or that things I'm trying to change can only be done more effectively by a machine.



Its like not understanding the point of trying to learn anything or change anything that comes up when people discuss machines with me sometimes - thoughts like "the machine can do it better anyway so why bother trying to learn or change anything".



"We will all have microchips in our brains very soon in the future, so learning will be downloaded like in the Matrix, and machines are physically stronger/more durable then humans - so machines can also clean up this planet in the most dangerous of areas far better then we humans as well".







This point, these kind of thoughts have tainted my process in general, because when I look at the problems in the world, which are a reflection of me and every other being in this world in oneness.



sometimes I find this apathy experience come up, fuelled by a belief that machines will enslave humanity eventually through calculating that we are a destructive race towards each other and this planet.



I can see that this apathy towards trying in learn and changing things in this world first derived when I was much younger back in school, I can remember when I first started using a calculator in maths class as a child.



I found it fascinating that the calculator could calculate maths equations so much quicker then me or the maths teach in the class could do.



Then soon after I remember trying to complete a maths exam without a calculator - I can still remember giving a big sigh in the middle of the exam and looking around in disinterest as this apathy came over me.





This would be so much easier with a calculator I thought - whats the point of even trying to learn maths when a calculator will always get the answer quicker then me.



I struggled through the exam with flawed memory, thinking and the mind - then through the years I simply added more layers to this experience keeping me in separation from physical reality.



Then at the same time in life as I was thinking these thoughts about maths/learning/change etc - my favourite films growing up were often films about machines taking over humanity like: Terminator, Metropolis, the Matrix etc.



Also some of my Granddads stories would also add more layers here, because he would confirm to me that amazing can be done with machines and that many of the technology we would watch in films really existed.



Fear would come up that such advanced machines do exist in the world even if most people don't know that I would think as a child - then this apathy would be charged more and more.



Yet I have realised that having a starting point of apathy in relation to machines is not acceptable - I see and understand that I cannot change the advances of machines, yet reacting as this apathy will not assist me or anyone else to live what is best for all life so it makes no sense to carry.





It is always best for all life to give my full effort in anything that I do, when I am learning, building things, changing things, in my mind and with my hands I am responsible for myself.



I am responsible to create what is best for all here, it is not the responsibility of machines - It is we humans that made this mess in this world, and we must fix it, we created machines and we keep advancing them while we as a species for the most part seem to be devolving in terms of our individual allowances and our interactions with each other.



By the principles of 1+1=2 no matter how small the number of humans working to change the world are, we really can create a new 1% which will result in 100% of humanity changing for the better.



The current rulers of this world must be stopped, re-designed and re-directed - they are us and just like most of us they cannot see what they are doing, they are abusing machine technology currently, and this current trajectory could indeed land humanity in enslavement from their own machine creations.





Yet it is clear to me that with a new unconditionally caring 1% in power - machine technology will be used to facilitate and assist all humans to live in equality and oneness - so this is something we must all make so with our intentions, our words and our actions.



All that is needed for evil to triumph - is for good men to become apathetic and not act. I will not allow this apathy to effect me anymore, I cannot allow this line of thinking to exist because I cannot accept a world where evil triumphs only by my own lack of effort to stop it.



If evil is going to triumph, i must know that on my last breathe that I really did do everything I could to make a better world as myself, that I was the example not the problem - because even in defeat, as long as I have given my all, then I know that my effort could have resulted in victory, yet if i give no effort then victory is impossible.



Join me next time as I continue to walk this point on my journey to life.



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Marley Dawkins
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Re: Marleys Journey To Life

Postby Marley Dawkins » 26 Aug 2018, 22:06

http://equalityonenessonearth.blogspot. ... hines.html

How can Apathy and hopelessness in relation to machines assist me in this world? It cannot, so I say till here no further I take responsibility for myself to remove this pattern of thinking that I have had for a longtime, which has only interfered in my process of birthing myself as life.



So I walk -



I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to react as an experience of Apathy when people bring up the subject of machines taking more and more of peoples jobs every year - I realise this experience keeps me in separation from physical reality which is not acceptable, because while it is true that more are taking humans jobs, being apathetic about it is no solution, because it will not assist me in any way in living whats best for all life.



I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to react in hopelessness to the reality of machines taking more and more human jobs - this hopelessness comes from the fear that machines will take all human jobs in the future and take control of society generally. In reality though it can be designed to be beneficial if machines are given all the difficult/mundane jobs and we humans can focus on our more creative passions for professions - in this scenario machines will not take over society but will work with humanity to make a better world.





So I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear that machines will take all human jobs and enslave humanity, which even if that were true - allowing this fear only keeps me trapped as the pre-programmed mind where I cannot walk equally with beings, but only exist as separation, where my decision making is always compromised in this point.



I forgive myself that I have not realised that as this apathy and hopelessness in relation to machines, it taints my learning in anything I do, where the justification is that - what is the point in learning this when a machine can do it better? I realise that what any being is doing be they machine or organic, should not affect my own learning in anyway, because my own learning must be based manifesting a passion that benefits me and others irrespective of how I compare to another being.



I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to compare myself to machines in things I am learning and doing - I realise this comparison is is not real because it is separation as the mind consciousness system.



I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to know that humanity is a brutal species, and in my mind to then use this knowledge to create a belief that machines will inevitably configure our species a danger to this planet which must be removed.



I forgive myself for allowing and accepting the belief that machines will inevitably calculate that we humans are a threat to this planet and will work to remove us - this belief is based in separation because it is not a provable fact that machines will enslave humanity here.



I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not see that yes while humanity is brutal, machines can actually be amazing support tools for humanity to change for the better as opposed to a Terminator/Matrix style enslavement/destruction of humanity.



I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to hold onto memories of being shocked as a child at how effective a calculator was in comparison to me, my colleagues or the maths teacher - this is where this fear of the machine began, then further layers were added through the years.



I forgive myself for not realising that many films I liked watching growing up, were actually adding layers to this fear, this apathy and hopelessness towards machines, so I must forgive and breathe through these kind of thoughts as and when they come up when I watch these films.





I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to hold onto memories of my grandfather teaching about the extents of machine technology and confirming that many machines we would watch in certain films actually exists.



I forgive myself for using the knowledge that machines can do things more effectively then humans as an excuse for allowing fear based, apathetic and hopeless thoughts, then not changing myself as this world as effectively in my life as I could through interaction with these thoughts which is unacceptable because in reality It is my responsibility solely to investigate, learn from and change my own patterns in my mind.



I commit myself to not allowing myself to react in apathy, hopelessness and fear when the subject of machines taking more jobs comes up - I realise this is something that continues forward irrespective of my experience towards it and I know the self-enslavement I create when I interact with the thoughts when they comes up. So as and when I see my mind having these thoughts about machines, I stop and breathe, I do not allow myself to interact with these thoughts - I continue to breathe every moment these thoughts come up, until there is no more thoughts that come up.



I commit myself to living the realisation that while machines are improving and humans seemingly are not, I must be the change I want to see in humanity, I must be a living embodiment of improvement, just like the machine always upgrading, not downgrading through this apathy, hopelessness and fear.



I commit myself to not allowing myself to hold onto memories in relation to these machine fears, these memories only limit me, so as and when I see my mind having memories come up if I'm watching a film, or someone brings up something - I stop and breathe I do not allow these memories to affect how I speak and act, I continue to breathe until there is no more memories that come up in these scenarios.



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Marley Dawkins
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Re: Marleys Journey To Life

Postby Marley Dawkins » 02 Sep 2018, 20:57

http://equalityonenessonearth.blogspot. ... alker.html

So sleeping is something that we all do, whether you are a light sleeper or a deep sleeper, whether you sleep for 4-6 hours or 8-12 hours a night, sleep is something each of us must do, it is what separates us from machines.



When we are asleep the nervous system is inactive, our eyes are closed, the muscles in our body relax and our consciousness is practically suspended - in this sleep state you may often have dreams as you fall into unconsciousness and DMT is released in your brain, however many types of chemicals and drugs can affect sleep and dream patterns etc.



Sleep is effectively the time of day where our body is almost recharging, most scientists agree that the importance of sleep is secondary only to water and air.



The effects of not having enough sleep can be detrimental to health in many ways - statistically people who sleep less then 7 hours a night are at an increased risk of: colds/flu, cardiovascular disease, obesity, depression, diabetes and even dementia.





These are the effects of not having enough sleep, and if you do your research the effects of having no sleep can be incredibly devastating as many government experiments in different countries have shown in history.



The Soviet Union in the 1940's did some interesting studies on this, showing that if a person is kept awake long enough, that eventually powerful hallucinations start occurring, a state of permanent insomnia, self-harm and a person can effectively be turned into a zombie of sorts.



There are however scientists who have found that some people have a rare CED2 gene mutation which allows this person to sleep 4 hours a night and still have the energy to function perfectly well throughout the day, though there are not many effective tests currently for locating this gene.



But I want to investigate sleep patterns in my life, because this is a point that I have faced before many times and not been effective at correcting for the most part.



Just recently for instance, I have been spending a lot of time with a female partner and she like most people have a standard type of sleep pattern, where she will ideally sleep between 9.30pm-12am, and wake up between 6am-9am.





For me though I usually sleep between 1am-3am on weekdays, waking up the next day around 7.30am, or on weekends when I have less work, I will stay up till between 4am-6am, then waking up at around 12-2pm.



She has been almost forcing herself to try and adapt to my sleep patterns, which has caused her to get very tired more throughout the day, meanwhile I will usually be totally fine with 4-6 hours sleep.



I have noticed though more recently that as I get older that I am having bouts of tiredness that hit me throughout the day, and when I do wake up, it is like this long process to wake up, because i will be stuck in this insomnia like zombie state for the first few hours when I wake up and it is only after a few coffees and sugary foods that my mind wakes up fully.



Also I used to never get flu's or colds of any kind, but in the past year I have had a lot, and this again has caused me to question my sleep patterns.



So this woman I have been seeing, or partner if you will has been getting more frustrated about my sleep patterns and the effect they are having on her, shes been reacting and I have been reacting to her reaction, justifying and defending my sleep patterns, while also agreeing with her perspective.



There are many factors that play into my sleep habits - years ago I used to always have more then 8 hours of sleep, but things that my granddad and Bernard taught me, is where through the years I started training my mind to have 4-6 hours of sleep.





Bernard suggested to me that when one looks at the world, that there is no time to sleep with the problems in the world, because there is so much that needs correction, but he meant this from the perspective of going to sleep early and waking up early to maximise what I can achieve in a day and that I can train myself to sleep 4-6 hours which makes complete sense.



Where as what I have turned my sleep patterns into is actually wasting more of the day, because I am sleeping so late that the next day I am not actually here for the morning so to speak, especially on weekends.



My granddad also confirmed that 4-6 hours pf sleep can be achieved for some people, which made me want to adopt this into my sleep schedule, but in self abusive way, by always sleeping late, then waking up early on weekdays or late on weekends, but always, always sleeping no earlier then 1 am on any night.





Many pre-programmed thought patterns, memories, and ideas have been endorsed and had layers added to in my mind through the years in relation to sleep -



I will sleep when I'm dead, this is something that I heard Bernard and a few people say before, which again I reacted to and took the wrong way.



Then of course this all started from younger years, where this system teaches children that it is "naughty to sleep late" because only adults are allowed to do it. This is where I first starting defining the idea of sleeping late to be something cool and by doing it, automatically makes me older.



I remember in 1999 when I first saw the film Fight club while I thought the whole film was cool, certain parts of it stuck with me, like the love for fighting, and the explanation of Insomnia in the film - I always wondered if I have insomnia since that film and almost forced myself to become an insomniac because of thinking its explanation was so cool in the film.



Then in recent years I have had fears of being unconscious, that I don't trust being unconscious, because who knows what can be done to me while I am asleep right? Someone could break in my house, or maybe break into my dreams so to speak.





Then for years I have defined myself as "not normal" therefore my mind justifies that I don't need to sleep like "normal people" which again fuels this addiction to sleeping late, and sleeping 4-6 hours.



Also I have always enjoyed martial arts, but as I have developed into adulthood, I have been enjoying MMA and any kind of combat sports, I even have a website which makes me money for these subjects - so again this adds more layers of justifications onto my sleep patterns, because very often these events will be aired live very late in the UK between 1am-6am typically if its in America, Australia or in Asia etc.



In my mind I must see the event happen live, so this again just makes sleeping early more of an issue to address.



This addiction to sleeping late is having more effects on me nowadays and I must find a more effective balance of sleep in order to maximise my relationships and potential in this life.



So join me next time as I continue to investigate and correct this sleepwalker pattern.



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Marley Dawkins
Posts: 249
Joined: 16 Jun 2011, 19:33

Re: Marleys Journey To Life

Postby Marley Dawkins » 09 Sep 2018, 21:41

http://equalityonenessonearth.blogspot. ... art-2.html

So I need to walk out my issues in relation to sleep -



I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to exist as a pattern of always sleeping late - I realise that this pattern does not support me in living what is best for all, because while oversleeping is not supportive either, getting too little sleep at too late a time is not effective.



I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to define myself through late sleeping - I realise this self-definition only keeps me in separation from physical reality.



I forgive myself that I have not realised that as I get older there are more consequences of sleeping late and not enough hours too often.



I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to be trapped in a zombie state every morning through this continual late night and lack of sleeping.



I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to not consider that the fact that I have been getting illnesses like colds and flues in the past year for really the first time in my life, is likely a result of this lack of sleep and sleeping too late, too often.



I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to exist as the ego justifying and defending my sleep patterns when someone tries to challenge them.





I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to see the issues of my sleep patterns, but not being willing to walk the necessary adjustments in self-honesty to truly change the issue.



I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to believe that my sleep patterns do not effect me at all, when in reality as I mentioned earlier I am trapped in a zombie state first thing in the morning, and I have been getting ill recently as a result.



I forgive myself for holding onto memories of my granddad and Bernard teaching me that 4-6 hours is plenty of sleep, my grandfather explained that it can be trained into ones mind to adopt, and Bernard taught me the same while also elaborating that with the problems in the world we don't have time to sleep more - I reacted to this and twisted the concept into my own idea.



I forgive myself for not realising that my sleep patterns often result in me wasting too much of the day instead of maximising my capacity, as I sleep too little in the weekdays and too much too at the weekends.



I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to believe that I cannot sleep before 1am, as if I am allergic to this or something, when this is just another stupid concept in my mind and in fact it would benefit me to sometimes sleep earlier then 1am.



I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to define myself according to the idea that I will sleep when im dead, which I have allowed to be a driving force in my forcing myself to stay up late and sleep very little.



I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to hold onto memories of when i was younger and sleeping late was seen as something cool that older people do and then defining myself through this.



I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to define myself through the idea that sleeping late is something cool to do.



I forgive myself that I have added layers to this "sleeping late is cool concept" by letting films effect me - for instance thinking the explanation of insomnia is cool in the film fight club, and then letting this be another excuse in my mind to keep my impractical sleep pattern in place.



I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear that when I am asleep someone could break in my house, or manipulate my dreams, my sleep patterns, my actions while I am asleep, so purposely trying to avoid it.



I forgive myself for defining myself as not normal, and therefore I must have a not normal sleep pattern which is nothing bu limitation and thus not needed.



I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe I must always watch fighting late at night live, which again has been feeding into this habit - I must get used to not always doing this regardless of my enjoyment of martial arts.



I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to being addicted to sleeping late and allowing this addiction to control me.



I commit myself to not allowing myself continue being addicted to sleeping late all the time, I realise this has benefits but also negative effects as I get older and must be adjusted - so as and when I see my mind having thoughts to stay up late and only sleep 4-6 hours etc - I stop and breathe, I realise that I can sleep at more practical times also - so I breathe and continue to do so until there is no more thoughts that come up.



I commit myself to living the realisation that sleep is something that we all need, and at different time depending on what work we have done - we may need more or less sleep - you cannot always be sleeping not much, or always sleeping too much because it has clear consequences as we have been discussing, so I take self-responsibility to walk the necessary adjustments in my sleep patterns in order to maximise my capacities in m



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Marley Dawkins
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Joined: 16 Jun 2011, 19:33

Re: Marleys Journey To Life

Postby Marley Dawkins » 17 Sep 2018, 21:26

http://equalityonenessonearth.blogspot. ... -know.html

So today when I lost my phone I initially had no idea how or why I did this, especially given the fact that I was using my phone all day taking pictures with the phone of the fascinating and famous buildings around Hanover in Germany, as well as taking pictures and videos with new friends at my first GIN event all weekend, I mean my phone was hardly out of my hand so how did this loss occur?



Yet when I look closer so much came up -



First off the actual loss itself was in part due to the fact that I was rushing for my flight after a great sightseeing journey at the end of an amazing weekend. As I just mentioned I was almost literally holding my phone most of the weekend - yet somehow I manged to leave it in my friends car

before I got onto the plane. Once I realised this by the time I got to boarding the plane, I shouted fuck sake! As I also realised I forgot to get this friends contact number and she was over 45 minutes away from the airport by this point.



I was annoyed for around the next 30 minutes or so - however, and I have to say this is in part due to the amazing weekend I had at this GIN event, I took a deep breathe and I knew that the universe is trying to send me a message right here and now, a message that I cannot initially see on the face of it. Then 30 minutes after this annoyance I was laughing about it, because ultimately I realised that I do not know what I do not know.





I cannot see what I cannot see, I am not that smart - as I write this blog right now, I know that my lost mobile will come back to me, or it will workout to benefit me in the end somehow, that this scenario which seems so shit is here to teach me something.



Because it wasn't like I left my phone on a park bench filled with homeless people, as I saw on a intersecting flight to Spain, its not like I left it on the floor of a random carpark that I will never go back to - it is in the vehicle of an amazing person, just one amongst the whole host of amazing people that I met this weekend - so I know she will return it to me, that the universe will bring my original phone back when I am ready to receive it back.



Then then second day of writing this blog, would you believe it? After walking around various airports knowing it will workout, that the solution will come forth, after sitting on a plane for hours knowing with a smile that I will always find a way - the very next day when I returned to England, I was offered a phone upgrade by my phone company, as they said I was actually overdue one by a few weeks.





So now as a result of losing my phone, I actually now have a better phone for a cheaper price too lol - so we have all had situations like this, where something annoying or bad happens in a day. But when it does - never deny yourself the truth, that you are too powerful a being - you will always find a way to make it work, to see beyond the initial annoyance/bad day moments, to see it as a blessing, that it is here to teach you something and as long as you remain stable, satisfied, uplifted and focused inside your mind, then take necessary actions it really always will work out.



We can achieve anything in life that we can conceive, bring ourselves to wholeheartedly know we are capable of, then set our intent and actions to doing it.



But lets look at the learning because while it was great that I corrected the situation that arose through my intent and action, I can still take measures to try to makesure that this kind of situation doesn't happen again - because within this losing my phone event I did identify a pattern that has actually existed in me for a long time.





I remember even explaining to my friend on the way to the airport how I have missed flights before due to being late - then it seemed that the fear of this happening again resulted in me leaving my phone in her car and that there is nothing I can do to change what has already been done - what I can do however is first relax, breathe and know that alignment is always my responsibility, then secondly I must take the necessary steps to remove this fear of being late for travel, this fear of lateness, because this fear has manifested me losing things and/or missing my transport method before.



I remember the first time this happened as far as I can recall it was when I was about 8 years old and I was at Sega World, which was an old computer game arcade where I live. I was worried about being



late, that I wouldn't have enough time to go around all the games in the time that I was there,

because they would be shutting in less then an hour - then I left my wallet on one of the machines in this fear, and a few hours later I realised I didn't have my wallet, I tried looking for it but it was gone never to be seen again - I was so annoyed in the moment because my wallet had about 70 pounds in it which was my birthday present from my mum and Granddad at the time.



Since then I have repeated this mistake intermittently in my life again in various scenarios, but just as back then when I was 8, it is the same as just today - I do not know what I don't know, I cannot see what this loss could mean for me moving forward, yet at the same time I must do what I can to remove the blocks that caused this to happen - another friend of mine said that this is simply a hurdle that I must learn to overcome and I will.



I take self-responsibility to change the issue within me which caused this loss of my phone in the first place - so join me next time as I continue to investigate and correct this issue in my journey to life here.



Thanks for reading.



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Marley Dawkins
Posts: 249
Joined: 16 Jun 2011, 19:33

Re: Marleys Journey To Life

Postby Marley Dawkins » 23 Sep 2018, 20:09

http://equalityonenessonearth.blogspot. ... -know.html

So sure everything worked out with me getting my phone upgrade and original phone back after losing it in Germany due to my intent to correct the mistake.



Yet what was revealed from this situation showed me that there are some adjustments to make, so I must learn and change -



I forgive myself that I have allowed and accepted myself to not realise in all moments that I don't know what I don't know, that I cannot always initially see that a mistake I made, always is showing me something that I need to learn, something that will benefit me in the end.



I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to react in annoyance when I initially lost my phone because of not seeing immediately that I do not know what I do not know, this realisation came around 30 minutes later.



I forgive myself for experiencing stupidity and feeling embarrassed about losing my phone in the moment, when in fact these thoughts and emotions did not assist me in anyway in this situation.



I forgive myself that I have not realise that this event of losing my phone, actually was showing me the pre-programmed limitations I carry in relation to fearing being late for something exciting - this excitement of quick sightseeing, the fear of not having enough time to see everything, intertwined with the excitement of an imminent flight and a fear of being late for my flight.





I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear not having enough time to get something cool done.



I forgive myself that I have been aware of this issue, yet have done nothing about it for a long time and this recent phone loss event has poked me to get the necessary adjustments done.



I forgive myself that I have allowed and accepted myself to procrastinate being self-dishonest about the effects that carrying this fear can have, which I disconnect here as this breathe now.



I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to hold onto memories of when I was young and I lost my wallet in the arcade, because it was the same fear of lateness, fear of missing something cool, that caused me to rush and lose my wallet.





I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to add layers through the years to this pre-programmed fear, which has only kept me further in separation from physical reality as life, so I take self-responsibility to stop this now.



I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to be defined through limitation as this fear of lateness, when I can clearly see that this self-definition does not assist me in living whats best for all in anyway.



I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to exist as the ego trying to defend itself from lateness for something cool by fearing it, when in reality projecting this fear only ends up manifesting my lateness and potential loss of something which is not acceptable.



I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to project this fear of lateness onto the future, which will only cause the same consequences on a cycle pattern - this pattern is stopped here.





I commit myself to not allowing myself to react in annoyance when something goes wrong, so as and when my mind has thoughts of annoyance come up when something goes wrong - I stop and breathe, I do not interact with these thoughts - I realise that there is something within this situation which is teaching me something I must learn and ultimately it will all work out - I smile and continue to breathe here, until there is no more thoughts that come up.



I commit myself to not allowing myself to continue any fear of being late for something exciting, whenever this fear comes up in my mind as thoughts, I stop and breathe I do not allow myself to engage these thoughts - I see and understand that by accepting this fear, will only manifest a mistake, a consequence of fear which will not assist me, so I continue to breathe until there is no more thoughts that come up when something exciting is happening.



I commit myself to living the realisation that things will always work out, because I don't know what I don't know which is where I have the ability to fix any problem and create whatever I intend.




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