Marleys Journey To Life

Place your Blogs Here
User avatar
Marley Dawkins
Posts: 236
Joined: 16 Jun 2011, 19:33

Re: Marleys Journey To Life

Postby Marley Dawkins » 30 Sep 2018, 20:58

http://equalityonenessonearth.blogspot. ... ryone.html

This is one of the great beauties of life, of walking a process of birthing yourself as life - its when you get to a point of realising and seeing yourself in every being you meet in life.



So I went to London this past weekend for business, I have been London many times and many other cities in my life - its interesting how my experience of myself when I am in London or any city in general has changed through the years.



I had a great time in London, it's amazing how the busy streets of cities makes each person being a single cell of a larger body more apparent then in smaller towns and villages - its very much highlighted in cities that while we have different identities, we really are all the same as life.



Once upon a time the hustle and bustle of the busy city would annoy me, would keep me on edge, would cause me to react and often have negative interactions with people - pushing past people, shouting at people in traffic, brooding about the Royals, constantly being ready to conflict with someone at a moments notice - almost like I allowed the city to cause my pre-programmed self-interest that we all have to be on steroids - like this rude city character would always emerge.



Its amazing though, because as I have walked my journey to life through the years, one thing I notice about myself is that when I am in cities now - I am calm, I am always here breathing, not reacting in my mind to things.



Therefore, I do not get annoyed by the busy movements, If I get lost for a moment, I do not go into fear, I just stop, breathe knowing that I will work it out then use common sense to navigate to my destination.



When I see people in difficulty I do not ignore them as I may have done at times in my yonger years - I stop, I consider how I can help this person and I move into action.



For instance two Chinese students were very confused with the underground map in London when I was booking a ticket for my next stop. They clearly seemed distressed and confused, I recalled when I myself years ago was also lost on the London underground - so I asked where they wanted to go. Even though I have not used the underground systems in London for years, It was almost like I immediately could understand the map through remaining here as breathe and applying common sense.





I showed them the train line they needed, they thanked me and throughout the day of travelling around on the London underground - I reached all my destinations at the right time.



In another moment an older woman seemed to be travelling on her own, but she had a very large bag - the handle on her bag seemed to be broken, she was struggling, I remembered when I had dealt with carrying a broken bag while travelling before - I said do you need a hand with that, she graciously accepted and I carried her bag to the next platform for her.



Then in another moment at the coach station, someone else looked panicked and rushing as many people do in busy cities - he wanted to go to the toilet, but he forgot to read the sign which says 30p entry.



He had no change on him he said oh shit to himself and he seemed like he had learning difficulties and he was really bursting for a pee - I quickly assessed the situation and considered maybe the man had some kind of bladder issue, I knew that the closest cash point was around 400 yards away and even then he would have to take the notes round the shop to get some change - so I gave him 30p and he was so thankful as he ran into the toilet cubicle.



Then when I was in a restaurant before my return to Bournemouth - after dinner I myself had to take a toilet, but on the way to the toilet a busy waiter was struggling to open a door while carrying loads of dirty plates and glasses - then as I walked towards him, he bumped into the wall slightly, a glass fell from his over cluttered hands, it definitely would have smashed but I caught it before it landed on the floor, then I held open the door for him.



He thanked my quick reactions and assistance in that moment - I said no worries, maybe carry one glass less next time, we both laughed and I proceeded to the toilet.



On the travel back to Bournemouth sitting on the coach, It made me smile when I considered how many small moments where I assisted someone happened in one day - and how the old me from teenage years and my early 20's would have likely ignored most of these situations, because like many people in fast paced cities I would have been too busy as this "city character" to do anything.



But now I see myself in everyone - I want everyone to succeed and to have no stress in their life, so I just automatically breathe, put myself in the persons shoes and assist here.



Focus on the similarities instead of the differences when you come across new people in life, then you see your equality as life much clearer - there is nothing more satisfying to me in life now, then creating a world where nobody has any stress, any problems, or anything to fear - we all share this planet together, so live as an embodiment of this fact, because unless all can succeed, none can succeed.



User avatar
Marley Dawkins
Posts: 236
Joined: 16 Jun 2011, 19:33

Re: Marleys Journey To Life

Postby Marley Dawkins » 07 Oct 2018, 20:56

http://equalityonenessonearth.blogspot. ... learn.html

You've probably heard this saying before from any number of people, gurus, intellectuals, philosophers in various fields - but in life when we win at things we feel like a genius from the satisfaction of the completion of our aim and intent.



Then of course when we lose in life at anything, we always initially feel stupid, naive, confused and regret our decisions. It can seem in these moments that you just want the world to swallow you up, that things really couldn't get any worse.



But in reality there is no escape from what we allow and no matter how bad things get, things really could be worse and could be better always - it is through failure that we learn the path to success, there really is no such thing as losing, because if your not winning then that means you are still learning the path to victory. So lets look at the words of a few famous people in history in relation to this -



Winston Churchil: "Success consists of going from failure to failure without loss of enthusiasm."

Theodore Roosevelt: "Far better is it to dare mighty things, to win glorious triumphs, even though checkered by failure...than to rank with those poor spirits who neither enjoy nor suffer much, because they live in a gray twilight that knows not victory nor defeat."

Conor McGregor: "I'm not going to get somewhere and say, 'Ok, I'm done.' Success is never final; I'll just keep on going. The same way as failure never being fatal. Just keep going. I'm going to the stars and then past them."
All of these quotes highlight crucial points to remember about success and failure, so starting with the first one - if you have ever trained martial arts for instance, there is no straight line to becoming a black belt. You have to get beaten repeatedly in training and keep your enthusiasm to succeed and become the actual black belt.



Second quote really highlights that its always best to dream big, to get to victory by walking a tough road full of failures - because most people in life try to "play it safe" which results in a mundane life where the fruits of real success and real failure are never experienced. If you look at the structure of capitalism you can see that the middle class is mainly comprised of people who live in this "gray twilight" that Roosevelt was speaking about.



The last one comes from a fighter who has made a lot of money but still faces more failures, like last night when he lost an MMA fight. But Conor is highlighting well in this quote that there is no end result to success or failure, when you reach your goal, or you fail, either way you just keep going, just keep climbing to the next pinnacle, learning in life never ceases as long as you keep moving yourself.



This past week I have faced multiple failures myself and these quotes among others have assisted me a lot to learn from these failures, because I have never had a straight line to success in anything I have ever achieved, but its funny how our brainwashed minds expects a straight line at times.



One of my respected mentors in life has been telling me a lot recently that I must become one of the greatest failures in life, so that I can learn to become one of the greatest successes.



I will be correcting the thought patterns, the pre-programmes that I have accepted and allowed which have resulted in these failures happening because everything comes back to myself here and there is no sense in repeating the same mistakes without learning from these failures and changing myself.





Join me next time as I continue to walk my journey to life here.



User avatar
Marley Dawkins
Posts: 236
Joined: 16 Jun 2011, 19:33

Re: Marleys Journey To Life

Postby Marley Dawkins » 14 Oct 2018, 20:32

https://equalityonenessonearth.blogspot ... art-2.html

So continuing from my previous post, loss, failure is inevitable it is an inevitability which is where we are provided the opportunity to see the errors of judgement we are making so we can reset or physical movement to get to our goal through this falling and standing back up process.



I will not allow myself to accept a pattern of believing I can remain separate from failures -



I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to at times believe that my path to success in anything must be straight to the goal when in fact this is just my ego projecting



I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to exist as the ego trying to defend itself through the believe that unless I have straight line to success then I am a failure and will remain a failure, which is not real and only limitation that keeps me in separation from physical reality.



I forgive myself that I have not realised in every here breathe that failures are a part of me just as much as victories, because its is through trial and error that we get to any target completion.



I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to try to separate myself from failures, which only keeps me in separation of myself, which is unacceptable.





I forgive myself that I have not realised that it truly is through failing that we can see how to avoid this failure in the future and get to our success.



I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to charge success and failures with positive and negative polarities in my mind, where i define success as positive and failure as negative feeding into the pre-programming of capitalism that is here.



I forgive myself for defining success as positive and failures as negative, because I see and understand now that neither is positive or negative, success is simply the inevitability of not allowing failures to deter me, just continuing and learning through failures.



I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not see and understand that success and failure is merely the process of a means to an end.



I forgive myself that I have allowed and accepted myself at times to be annoyed with myself when success in anything doesn't happen immediately upon a first attempt, which I realise is just my pre-programmed ego fucking with me.





I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to judge myself as a failure when I do not meet my intended goal immediately first time in anything.



I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to define myself as a failure for good in any undertaking when I do not achieve the results I want at the first time of asking, when in reality if I go straight to success in anything, it can only be from seeing other people fail first and learning from their mistakes to assist myself to go straight to success - If i have not failed on the way to success, I must have seen other people fail.



I forgive myself for not realising that anything that I succeed in immediate, is only because I already have the vocabulary, the communication, the intent, the bravery, the direct knowledge and relationship building skills necessary to make a success the first time around.



I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to fear that once I fail once in anything, that I will continue to fail, which demotivates me to actually learn from these failures, which keeps me trapped within and as failure, which does not assist me in living whats best for all life, so I stop this here.





I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to be too hard on myself very often, when expecting great things is fine, but it does not support me in living whats best for all to be overly hard on myself.



I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to get annoyed that my ability to use the law of attraction especially in sales doesn't always give me what I want immediately here now, when I realise that using the law of attraction works through bringing people, situations and events into my life, but it will not then do everything for me, I must have the vocabulary, the physical movement and ability to build relationships in order to take full advantage of any person, event or thing that I have magnetised into my life.



I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to not understand in all moments that only the greatest failures inevitably become the greatest successes if they learn and change.





I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not see and realise in every moment that I do not know what I do not know - meaning it is exciting when a failure happens, because one cannot know what profound learning to get to success can be achieved from this apparent failure.



I forgive myself for not allowing myself to see and realise in every moment that if i want something to change in my life, then i have to change things in my life, because doing the same thing over and over again with the same failing results is a form of madness.



I forgive myself for not realising in every moment that it is more effective in life to be willing to get to victory through failure, to be brave enough to fail, to not be afraid to experience the extremes of success and failure, because most humans are pre-programmed to live in and as a Gray space where everything is safe and where the true fruits of victory and failure are never experienced.



I forgive myself that I have not allowed myself to see and realise in every moment that any success or any failure is not the end result at any point, because we can only ever see our goal and when we get there we can see further, learning and growing never stops unless we stop ourselves - we must go to the stars and then beyond them.





I commit myself to not allowing myself to believe that everything must always be a straight line to success, because that is just not often possible in life, every greatest scientist for example never created an invention without going through the process of trial and error, unless that process of trial and error was already given to them before they started - so as and when I see my mind having thoughts about expecting immediate success without any failures, I stop and breathe, I do not allow myself to engage with these thoughts as I realise these thoughts are from my ego, that the process of trying to separate myself from failures only keeps me trapped within and as the pre-programmed mind where I set myself up to fail more then succeed. So I breathe and continue to do so until there is no more thoughts that come up.



I commit myself to not allowing myself to define success and failures as positive and negative as I see the trap this creates for myself as this capitalistic money system, so as and when I see my mind judging and defining myself as a failure or a success in anything, I stop and breathe - I realise that in life there is only learning, trial and error neither success nor failure are more or less then each other, they are simply two sides of the same coin equal and one. So I breathe and continue to breathe here as the breathe of life as who I really am, until transcendence has occurred and these definitions no longer exist





I commit myself to not allowing myself to believe that if I succeed or fail in anything, that I plateau - that I stay as the success or the failure in anything automatically, when in fact a success can be turned into a failure through not continuing to grow past the first success - and believing that I will stay as a failure in anything merely guarantees that I will stay as a failure in that thing - so as and when I see my mind believe I am stuck, that I am solidified as the success or the failure with nothing more to learn, then i stop and breathe, I do not allow my mind to engage with these kinds of thoughts because they are destructive, I breathe and keep breathing until these beliefs are no more.



I commit myself to not allowing myself to fear being trapped in continual failure when I fail in something, I realise that this concept is counter productive to success and living whats best for all,so whenever I see my mind doing this I stop, breathe here as life and keep this breathe stable no matter how many times this fear comes up, until eventually this fear is no more



I commit myself to living the realisation that failure and success are a part of each other, that if I have not failed in something to learn from this mistakes and get to success, then I have observed others go through the trial and error for me to go more straight to success - either way all is one and equal here and learning and growth must never stop at any point of success or failure.



User avatar
Marley Dawkins
Posts: 236
Joined: 16 Jun 2011, 19:33

Re: Marleys Journey To Life

Postby Marley Dawkins » 21 Oct 2018, 21:40

https://equalityonenessonearth.blogspot ... -life.html


Do you ever have a day where you bump into people places or things that bring up memories of the past? For me just yesterday it was a unique day in that I bumped into 4 people who I have not seen for years, all from various points of my life and all who had impacts on my life in various ways.



I cannot remember a day which was so surreal in terms of this regurgitation of people from the past for a very long time if ever. So my excitement was growing throughout the day, as I felt that some sort of meaning was coming through within these people reemerging into my life on one specific day.



When a friendship ends due to a disagreement, to moving to different cities/countries, to work, to family or psychological issues etc. Whatever it may be, we have fond memories of some people and not so fond memories of others - so you know that feeling when you see someone who you really missed who you haven't seen in ages? Its like an over-spilling of joy right? But also when you see someone who you are glad disappeared from your life, you get an uncomfortable experience, a wishing and hoping that they don't see you, a knot in your stomach, a purposeful avoidance to acknowledge the person.



I had all these kinds of reunions happen yesterday, from the good the bad and the ugly - It was a day that reminded me that you really never know who, when or where but people from our past will just pop up again seemingly out of nowhere.

But it is not out of nowhere upon further investigation, because each of these people I have thought about since seeing them last and knew that perhaps one day I would cross paths with them again.



Then out of all these meetings of people from the past in one day, there was an interaction with a new person who had a profound impact on me, which perhaps had something to do with all of these people from the past culminating into yesterday.





By the time I went to bed that day, my mind was racing trying to configure why all these people appeared throughout the day and such a seemingly strong new friendship was built in the same day - I felt totally unprepared, that too many people were appearing too quickly.



A sense of curious paranoia has been swirling around in my mind since yesterday, a wanting to see a reason, a desperation to find out what this means.



Over thinking when something strange or unexpected happens in my life is something that I have done many times in my life before, for various reasons.



Its a pattern, when in reality there is no need to go into any deep thought patterns about these events when they occur - but to instead just see clearly if there is something which requires direction here, some new learning that can occur from this.



Perhaps for instance life is showing me that there is something in my past that I have not yet resolved here? Something about my past that I still need to learn about and align here.





What I also noticed is that everyone I saw from my past yesterday seems to have changed many things in their life, but some things have remained exactly the same - perhaps this speaks to some new levels to learning in my life, that I am in the process of walking, or is yet to come.



Perhaps because all of these people have changed a lot but still have certain things holding them back, then maybe there are things from the past that I must learn to change in order to not hold me back in the present and perhaps this new person in amongst these people from the past will assist me in this, or has some part in this moving forward.



I know its connected, there is no accidents here this was pre-programmed to go down exactly the way it did - yet I have no time to waste in over thinking about this.



In fact I take self-responsibility here to not allow my mind to freak out with this curious overthinking paranoia whenever many people from the past intersect in my life on one day again in the future, because it does not assist me in living what is best for all life.



So join me next time as I continue this point as I walk my journey to life here.



User avatar
Marley Dawkins
Posts: 236
Joined: 16 Jun 2011, 19:33

Re: Marleys Journey To Life

Postby Marley Dawkins » 28 Oct 2018, 21:56

https://equalityonenessonearth.blogspot ... -life.html

When people leave our life for one reason or another, it is possible that you will never see that person again in this lifetime - yet it is also possible that this person will reemerge into your life again in a future situation.



When these people from the past come back into my life, I have noticed a pattern of this paranoid over thinking, this curious desperation to understand the meaning why they have come back into my life.



This process is not needed as it does not assist me or the person who comes back into my life in living what is best for all life -



I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to react as this paranoid over thinking when multiple people from my past emerged in one day recently. I realise that this thinking only limits me in separation from physical reality here.



I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to react more throughout the day as this mixture of uncertain happiness and fear at each person from the past that came into my life again on this one day.



I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to keep myself trapped in my mind for the majority of the day as this curious anxiety and desperation to understand the meaning.



I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear that some of these people from the past are here again to try to destroy me, when nothing any one of the people who came back into my life on this day did, should have led me to fear this in the first place.



I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to hope that some of these people from the past or the new person who emerged in amongst the past are here to save me in someway, when there is no such thing as any saviour, I am responsible for myself always.





I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to exist as a polarity friction through charging different people with a negative or positive charge in my mind - expecting something good or something bad to happen as a result of these people from the past coming in one day and this new person emerging - I realise there is no good or bad in anything, there can only be learning but only if I am here breathing as life clear where I then use common sense to truly hear, to support and learn according to whats best for all life.



I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to be physically more rigid in fear when seeing a person I ended on bad terms with, in contrast to being loose and happy when I see someone I ended on good terms with, this separation is not needed.



I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to physically react differently when I see different people from the past, when In reality remaining here as breathe being loose as the movement of life is always going to be better for all life then shifting in my mind and physically based on who I'm seeing which makes no sense.



I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to look for meaning, to try and create value in my mind, when in reality reaching to look for something that isn't here, is purely my ego fucking with me, believing that there "must be" some special meaning to this event.





I forgive myself for believing that there is some special meaning to these people coming back into my life, that will be something good or bad - I realise that while these people coming on one day of course will be no accident because there is no accidents that exist here, the meaning itself is not be good or bad, special or not special.



I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to hold onto different ideas about people from the past which only keeps me in separation whenever they comeback into my life, so I forgive myself that I have not allowed myself in all moments to see all people equal as life here.



I forgive myself that I have not realised in all moments that it is always possible someone from my past will turn up in my life again, that does not mean I need to react about it, to let this certainty control me in the moment - so I take self-responsibility to remain here as breathe when I see the past coming back round again.



I forgive myself for not realising that seeing people from the past is a great chance to see the analogy here that it is the same as when some pattern in my pre-programmed mind is replaying out again, breathe is the key to stop any re-occurrence of the past, so I can apply common sense and do what is best for all life here.



I forgive myself that I have allowed and accepted myself to experience more paranoid curiosity when a new person came into my life on this day where many people, that something good or bad is going to happen with this person, which again is simply my ego trying to keep me in separation of myself which is not acceptable.



I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to limit myself as feeling unprepared when these people from the past emerged the other day, because what would it even mean to be "prepared" to see these people from the past? I realise there is no preparation that exists in relation to this, there is only remaining stable as this breathe.





I forgive myself that I have not realised in every here breathe that this idea of being prepared or unprepared to see someone from the past is purely my ego trying to defend itself - so I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to exist as the ego as the belief that I can be prepared or unprepared to see someone from the past, when in fact when I am breathing here that is the only preparation and course of action that is best for all.



I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to desire a deep meaning that is behind why these people have arrived in my life again.



I forgive myself that I have not realised that it is a pre-programmed pattern when something unexpected happens in my life to overthink the meaning and accept desiring a deep answer in my mind.



I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to waste hours trying to figure out this "deep meaning", when in reality, as I keep myself here as this breathe - the physical feedback is clear that all these people from the past have changed many things but all still had things from the past holding them back here.





I forgive myself that I did not allow myself as breathe to immediately realise that all these intersections of the past changing with still much holding them back, is a simple reminder that I still have things from my past in my mind holding me back from living my truest potential here.



I commit myself to not allowing myself to react as paranoid, curious, desperate for deep meaning thoughts in the mind, so whenever I see the past brought back before me here - as and when I see my mind having thoughts come up, I stop and breathe, I do not allow my mind to participate with these thoughts as I know this will only keep me in separation and continue the pattern, so I continue to breathe until there is no more thoughts that come up.



I commit myself to living the realisation that anyone or anything from the past can come back into my life at any time, it is to be expected on a planet where I have travelled to many places and interacted with many beings in this world in this one physical reality we all share - all that matters is that I am not reacting in my mind to these reemergence's, that I remain stable as breathe where I assist myself and all life in living what is best for all life.



User avatar
Marley Dawkins
Posts: 236
Joined: 16 Jun 2011, 19:33

Re: Marleys Journey To Life

Postby Marley Dawkins » 04 Nov 2018, 22:07

https://equalityonenessonearth.blogspot ... maker.html

You know those interactions in life, where what you are suggesting, questioning, presenting is being shut down and disregarded at every opportunity by this person or persons. In these situations you will notice certain mental games of a mendacious nature where lying in the face of fact, creating discord becomes paramount to this person/persons who will orchestrate situations to put you at a disadvantage from the start of the interaction.



a pre-program based in dishonesty and self-dishonesty - sprouting from the ego intended to defend itself from any beneficial new learning that could exacerbate, assist with and coordinate change that's best for all, no matter how effective this new learning proves to be.



This inexorable play maker can be found in many places, but will likely have a very comfortable life, which gives them a perceived position of power in their mind. This person is to put it bluntly a hater, a person limited to a position of omnipotent knowingness in their mind where new learning is something to be scoffed at, made fun of, questioned and judged as ineffective no matter how effective the results before them are.





Its amazing really because despite the knowledge we have, if we believe we cannot learn anymore in life, then we are allowing stupidity to exist - Invective words and stealthy machinations designed to shutdown any form of learning for themselves, but also attempt to sabotage the person suggesting, questioning and presenting new learning to them.



The inexorable play-maker has no ears, because they already see themselves as the apex of human learning/achievement, they are the dragons den looking for things to dispute in others proposals and believe their stance is always the best stance.



I was in a position with one such maker recently, and as this person repeatedly attempted to disagree, disregard, lie through what i was showing the person - I expected this from them, but still I noticed I was reacting, I was getting pretty annoyed with the person which was interesting.





I then proceeded to disregard what the person was then presenting to me after - i took on the position of the inexorable play-maker, just as he had done to me.



On my way home I continued to challenge his perspective, attempting to show him the limitations of this inexorable play-maker he was playing - Yet I then realised that while I was willingly reflecting this character to him in the moment, a few days later I realised that the reason his stance annoyed me so much, is because I myself have played this inexorable play-maker with others myself before.



It can be an addictive energy to disregard what a person says to you, even if it is true, to willingly deciding to abstain from learning from this person.



I remember when I was continually existing as this inexorable play-maker in younger teenage years - where I would purposely not listen to anyone and disregard any learning that would not stroke my ego, cause me to question myself, or any new learning that requires me to change.



Then years ago I thought I had transcended this character, yet I have seen myself react a few times in different scenarios to people playing this position, having this starting point of separation.



Now from y perspective If i was completely clear of this, then I would not react in the moment when someone interacts with me as an inexorable play-maker.



So I take self-responsibility to investigate and walk out this part of me, this pre-program in self-honesty because this pattern will not assist me in living whats best for all life, it is idiotic to allow this pattern to exist, so I make sure I am no idiot and that I am not reacting, but here breathing when I am faced with this in life.



Join me next time...



User avatar
Marley Dawkins
Posts: 236
Joined: 16 Jun 2011, 19:33

Re: Marleys Journey To Life

Postby Marley Dawkins » 11 Nov 2018, 23:02

https://equalityonenessonearth.blogspot ... art-2.html

This Inexorable play-maker, this character, this pre-programmed pattern of thought and behaviour has been shown to me in a few situations recently. People standing as this point and then me reacting to them playing this game.



My reaction of annoyance, competition/frustration only occurred in these situations in self-honestly speaking because I have also existed as this Inexorable Play-maker many times in my life.



It is an extremely limiting character whereby learning is essentially impossible, because when one experiences themselves as an inexorable play-maker in the mind, a god in the mind, meaning you are believing and defining yourself as the apex, the pinnacle of all education in something.



Then one will use this self-definition and belief to play games with others, projecting this character creating scenarios where you will purposely try to put people at a disadvantage who are trying to teach, reveal, suggest, question something with you - as this play-maker you attempt to provoke and trap people in a cage they cannot escape, into a battle they cannot win mentally.



Being purposefully rude, dismissive, believing you know the best way, that you cannot admit that you do not know something - It generates an energy of godliness, to be un-hearing to others and believing one has an omnipotent power which can be used to manipulate and shape things which is an energy high that one can become addicted to.



I will not allow this to exist as myself -



I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to react in annoyance and frustration to people existing as the Inexorable Play-maker during interactions with me. I realise that my reaction only reflects/indicates to me that I have unresolved issues in relation to this character.



I forgive myself that I have not accepted and allowed myself to realise in all moments that whenever I react to something someone says or does to me, it always comes back to myself here even though my ego in the moment wants to blame the other person for my experience.



I forgive myself that I have accepted myself to exist as the ego defending itself by getting annoyed, trying to blame, argue with and copy someone who is playing the Inexorable Play-maker with me, when these reactions are only occurring because of how much I have played the Inexorable play-maker with others, which of course is only energetically enjoyable when you are standing as this character, not when you are a victim of it.





I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to think to myself "I will show you how this character is played" whenever someone tries to play the Inexorable Play-maker with me, which leads me into competing with the person wanting to show that I can play the character better then them.



I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to compete with others as this Inexorable play-maker character, as if the character itself of omnipotence is some kind of trophy to battle with someone for who tries to be inexorable in anything - this of course only leads to conflicts which is unacceptable.



I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to desire to be better at playing the Inexorable play-maker character when someone tries to stand as and use this character on me, when in reality I should just be breathing through these thoughts of competition and desire that come up, where I am stable so I can apply common sense and not compete with this person, but rather plant seeds to assist and/or leave the person to their Inexorable Character.



I forgive myself that I have not realised in every moment that If I was completely clear of this Inexorable character, then there would be no reactions like this, no annoyance, no copying blaming and arguing.



I forgive myself that I have not accepted myself to realise in all moments of breathe here, that I used to stand as this Inexorable Play-maker character very often in teenage years into my early twenties. And while I had thought I had transcended this character early in my process, this recent set of reactions when a few people have played this character with me, has only shown me that I have not in fact transcended this character, so I take self-responsibility for this.



I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to hold onto memories of me playing this Inexorable character in my younger years and the feeling of power one derives from it.



I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to at one time be completely addicted to this energy derived from this Inexorable Play-maker character.



I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to as this Inexorable character, to only acknowledge new learning that strokes my ego and requires others to change not me in complete self-interest.





I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to use this character to create situations where people have no chance to question my stance on something.



I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to as this character take a stance where any new learning that does not stroke my ego will be scoffed at, made fun of, questioned and judged as being incorrect, no matter how correct what is being presented to me is.



I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to say I'm open to learning as this character, when in reality I am only hearing what I choose to hear if any at all in complete self-interest.



I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to exist in dishonesty as this Inexorable play-maker character where I deny that I am existing as this character to others who question me when in fact I am.



I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to exist in self-dishonesty as the inexorable play-maker where even when I know myself that I am wrong, I will still force myself to believe that I am in fact correct and I cannot be seen to be agreeing with this person who is bringing forth a new proposal, question, proposal etc.



I forgive myself that I have not accepted and allowed myself to realise in every here moment of breathe that if I was being self-honest then this Inexorable play-maker character would never exist as me in any moment, because I would always know that I do not know what I do not know, that learning is an endless journey in life - so from a starting point of self-honesty I would always be open to learning any new fields/information and sharpening what fields I already specialise in.





I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that I am Inexorable in some things, that I cannot be questioned or challenged when in comes to certain things which in reality is not true and that I can use this belief to project and play mind games with people which is completely unacceptable.



I forgive myself that I have allowed and accepted myself to define myself as being Inexorable in anything, especially when I know I am wrong but avoid saying so for fear of not being seen as inexorable and although one can get to a point of being a master in certain fields, that does not mean no further improvements can be made to ones knowledge in that field.



I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear coming across to others as not being omnipotent, a fear of being made to look stupid - so I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear looking stupid or not knowing something in front of others.



I forgive myself that I have not realised in every breathe that this Inexorable Play-maker character derives from the ego trying to defend itself from any new beneficial learning that could assist me in changing and living what is best for all life.





I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to as this character believe I have some position of power derived from some position of comfort ability that I have in my life over someone else in certain moments.



I forgive myself that I have not realised in all moments in my life that when one believes oneself to be omnipotent, an all knowing belief about existence, then it only reveals that in fact we are allowing stupidity to exist as our-self - regardless of experiencing oneself in the mind as having unmatched intelligence, because in reality here when learning stops only stupidity can then be produced.



I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to use invective words and use stealthy machinations as this character to get the result of energy from boosting my ego/position of power and tearing someone else's character down.



I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to focus on the differences and perceived flaws in someones suggestions as this Inexorable play-maker character , to dispute others proposals instead of being clear here seeing the similarities where I am always open to new learning and changing.



I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to purposefully create discord as this play-maker to avoid new learning instead of embracing it.



I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to believe that I am always right as this inexorable play-maker.



I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not see and realise that I can never do what is best for all as this Inexorable character because it is designed within the pre-programmed mind consciousness system and thus is based on self-interest therefore it has no value to exist within and as me.



I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not see and realise that this character does not exist in reality, it exists in complete separation from physical reality and so is an illusion and as such is not acceptable.





I commit myself to not allowing myself to react in annoyance/competition to this character when others play it, so as and when I see my mind having thoughts reacting to someone playing the Inexorable Play-maker, I stop and breathe, I do not participate with these thoughts as I know that doing so will continue the cycle of being annoyed and copying the person playing, reactivating a pre-program - so I continue to breathe through these moments no matter what, until these thoughts no longer come up.



I commit myself to not allowing myself to exist as this inexorable play-maker in my life, or even interact briefly to prove any points, because it it is a dangerous character that has controlled me in many moments in my life and is completely counter productive to new learning and change that is best for all life - so as and when I see my mind starting to shift having thoughts I stop and breathe, I do not allow myself to engage with these thoughts as I know that In doing so will only reactivate the Inexorable Play-maker in my mind which is not acceptable, so I breathe and stick to this breathe here where my self-honour stays until eventually there is no more chemical reaction of thoughts that come up in these .



I commit myself to living the realisation that my journey of learning never stops, there is no omnipotence that exists within anything I do, I can always learn more, change more, improve more in new areas or areas of speciality that we have - this reality shall eternally stand as the sword that cuts through the illusion of this Inexorable Play-maker.



User avatar
Marley Dawkins
Posts: 236
Joined: 16 Jun 2011, 19:33

Re: Marleys Journey To Life

Postby Marley Dawkins » 25 Nov 2018, 22:08

https://equalityonenessonearth.blogspot ... ation.html

So continuing from my last blog I walk out this impatience in communication -



I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to experience impatience when I am in conversation with someone who is living in England but is not using effective, diverse and clear English language.



I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to make a valued judgement about "the way" a person expresses their understanding of the English language.



I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to also be judgemental when the person is English yet seems to have a very limited vocabulary.



I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to be increasingly more frustrated within having to re-translate and re-explain things that the person is not understanding the first time round.



I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to be understanding and nonreactive towards the limitations in peoples English when I'm working on TechnoTutor with them, because I'm breathing here to show the common sense of the system - yet to quickly forget this one I start having a prolonged conversation with the person, because I cannot say "show yourself" like I can on TechnoTutor when someone doesn't understand something - in conversation I have to be a part of the remediation, which my mind dislikes.



I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to be more lethargic and lazy the longer I have to re-explain things with a person, which is stupid because if no effort is put into anything, then it will never bloom.



I forgive myself that I have allowed and accepted myself to define translation as hard work that I don't want to do the more I have to translate - when actually its a great privilege to translate, because it only strengthens a bond with a person.



I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to experience this impatience more frequently with friends from other countries who are struggling with their English especially if they expect me to understand them immediately.



I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to exist as the ego trying to defend itself from being misunderstood.



I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to exist as the ego through always wanting every word I say to be understood immediately because of its "importance" when my words have no more value then anyone else's in reality.



I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to be dishonest when someone asks me if i am getting annoyed with their limited English.



I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to be self-dishonest about this impatience whereby I will attempt to convince myself in the mind that I am not reacting about this persons limited vocabulary, when in reality I am.



I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to from the initial reaction of impatience, to become increasingly more harsh, pushy, rushing, dismissive, judgemental, sarcastic and giving up quicker in conversation - where the initial support of my translation slowly becomes more counter productive.



I forgive myself for not understanding and realising in all moments that learning a new language is an incredibly hard thing to do fluently - I myself struggle with other languages so why is it acceptable to be impatient in conversation.



I forgive myself for believing that English is the most important language in the world and thus should be spoken and used clearly.



I forgive myself that I have not realised in every moment that I physically huff and puff the more impatient I'm getting in conversation with someone - this huffing and puffing is a clear sign of a deep seeded unconscious pattern which must be removed as it is clearly best for all.



I forgive myself that I have allowed and accepted myself to as this impatience, to take on the role of a frustrated parent or teacher that their child or student keeps making the same mistakes, berating them in a way, which is a counter productive way to teach a person.



I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to put myself in their shoes, but only in the mind, where my understanding of their limitation will inevitably erode, because it is not a physical placing myself in their shoes in all moments here.



I forgive myself that I have allowed and accepted myself to as this impatience to expect someone to understand me immediately with no remediation, being shorter with them, which only stagnates the conversation.



I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to only cause friction within the specific relationship when I become this impatience pattern, because being judged by someone is a universal language, regardless of what language we speak - the language of physical feedback is universal.



I forgive myself that I have not realised that the beginnings of this pattern developed when i was around 7 and was spending more time with my grandfather.



I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to hold onto memories of my grandfather correcting any poor use of English I would ever use, which over time as my veneration of him grew only caused me to take on this part of his character into my own.



I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to define my grandfather and subsequently myself as a spelling/pronunciation Nazi of a sort.



I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to feed into a nationalistic perspective based in separation as this holding onto memories of my grandfather - which comes through in this impatience in communication with people struggling wit their English in complete separation of myself.



I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to define my father as being bad merely through his poor use of English in the brief moments he spent with me in my life.



I forgive myself that I have allowed myself to to define my grandfather as good through his clear use of English in complete separation of myself.



I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to create and feed into polarity friction through these definitions I placed on my father and grandfather in my mind.



I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to react to my grandfathers death in 2013 and to then purposely take on more elements of his character, both the supportive and the abusive within his character which is not acceptable, I only need to keep the good.



I commit myself to not allowing myself to exist as this impatience in conversation character any further as it does not assist me in living what is best for all life - so as and when I see my mind having thoughts come up in conversation with someone struggling with their English - I stop and breathe, I do not allow myself to engage these thoughts as a time loop of this pattern will only occur. I say till here no further, I continue to breathe until eventually there is no more thoughts that come up in these conversational moments.



I commit myself to living the realisation that we are all where we are with our learning and changing, and I must support a person wherever I can to make it easier for them to integrate new information, not hinder it.



I commit myself to not allowing myself to hold onto anymore memories of my grandfather that do not assist me in living what is bets for all life - so as and when I see my mind having memories come up about my grandfathers nationalistic and clear use of English, I stop and breathe - I realise that it is cool to be enjoy ones nation, and it is cool to use clear speech in any language, it is not cool to use these points against people - so I continue to breathe no matter what until the thoughts stop coming up.



User avatar
Marley Dawkins
Posts: 236
Joined: 16 Jun 2011, 19:33

Re: Marleys Journey To Life

Postby Marley Dawkins » 02 Dec 2018, 22:24

https://equalityonenessonearth.blogspot ... -time.html

What will be the result of the time I spend on something? Well if what I am doing with my time in any moment is producing an outcome that is best for all life then I know I am making the most of my time.



If what I am doing with my time is based in self-interest, then within this I clearly am not making the most of my time.



It could be a job, a friendship something your making or learning, something in your schedule where you are actually wasting time that could be put to better use elsewhere.



I notice that when I am stuck in the mind, I am often not aware of if the time I am spending on something is worth it, meaning does it have worth? I will often say to others in these moments that "I am busy".



This being busy, often is born from trying to complete too many tasks in one day, where I only spread my time incredibly thin across a whole host of tasks and activities throughout a day.



But is this busy nature I speak about, is it real? Because while on the face of it, things can seem as If I am incredibly busy handling lots of things all the time - yet it seems in self-honesty that too often this busy stuff I talk about doing, will be born from me being stuck in the mind where I am not effectively paying attention to the time I am spending on something, which is where I can limit the amount of time I waste.





Poor time management can never lead to anything supportive and you know that saying - "Time flies when your having a good time"



Well this saying is also what I'm talking about, because time really does fly when your only focusing on your own self-interest - because we become in a sugar high state within which we are not breathing and thus not capable of applying common sense to be able to notice when we are wasting too much time on our own energetic wants and needs.



"Oh the weekend went so quickly!" you might hear people say to you, but this is merely a consequence of "time flying when your having a good time". Which can in turn translate to - no physical beneficial things are done when you're high on energy.



If you like computer games then it is a great tool to see when you are trapped in the mind spending too much time getting an energy fix from the game - you can literally feel yourself in a zombie state, where the longer you play the deeper you get and the more time evaporates where there is less time to do more beneficial undertakings.





Playing games is not the issue, it is the time length - because you always know it yourself, when you have been playing too many hours of the game. Your eyes are probably getting sore, your posture might start to ache and you may have noticed the day turning to night out your window.



I have been noticing recently when I am either trying to do too many things in a day, or where there are large gaps where there is seconds, minutes, hours sometimes in a day where time is not being used effectively and there is too much wasted time indulging in self-interest.



Just this past weekend, It was like a blur looking back on it, and while there was many cool things that occurred, there was also plenty of time wasting.



In a lifetime and a world where time is always against us, I must make sure that all the time I am making the most of my time here,



Times before in my life have I walked to correct the issues of poor time management, yet my application has not been effective so I must continue to dig, investigate, correct and align, so join me next time as I continue this point.



User avatar
Marley Dawkins
Posts: 236
Joined: 16 Jun 2011, 19:33

Re: Marleys Journey To Life

Postby Marley Dawkins » 09 Dec 2018, 23:41

https://equalityonenessonearth.blogspot ... art-2.html

Continuing from my last blog looking at how I fill my time, is what I'm doing in any moment to the benefit of all life? Or is there too much time being wasted on things based in separation?



I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to exist as a pattern of wasting time where I tie - me within separation as the pre-programmed mind. I realise that it is only within stopping the chemical processes of the mind here as breathe and the common sense from this that I remove the wasted time and maximise the effective use of my time.



I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to exist as the ego, as the energy that derives from the wants and desires that come up in my mind, which cause the wasting of time for my own momentary bliss ahead of what is best for all which is unacceptable.



I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to not make the most of my time in every moment, because in this life there is no time to waste a world that is best for all must be lived here in my words and deeds in every moment.



I forgive myself that I accept and allow myself to use the excuse that I am busy, when in reality I am simply over complicating my day, spreading my time ineffectively, too thinly across too many points, where I deceive myself that I am being effective just because of how much different types of things im doing and and how tiring it can be physically and mentally and thus "I deserve" to be able to waste some time.



I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to deceive myself, for fooling myself that I'm getting "ahead of schedule" by over-cramming my days, thus I deserve other days where I waste lots of time to "relax" from this over-cramming on other days.



I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to be dishonest about how busy I truly am when others ask me at times, where I use this as a tool to excuse myself whenever I am late to a scheduled place, when really I am just allowing poor time management here.





I forgive myself for not realising in every here breathe that is the moments of thinking, deciding deliberating in my mind which also causes and compounds the wasting of time - whenever one thought comes up which is "should I waste time now, or do the next task?" there is a pattern of deciding in my mind this back and forth game where I assess if I deserve to waste time right now or not.



I forgive myself that I accepted and allowed myself to over indulge in wasting time on one day, just because over the past few days before I have been "getting lots done" so I deserve this time wasting, when in reality, when time is managed effectively here I get things done as efficiently as possible on any day, where moments of relaxation are allowed everyday yet are utilised according to common sense in between getting things done.



I for give myself that I have not realised in all moments that a balanced use of relaxation works in tangent with an effective use of time in ones schedule as opposed to an over indulgence, a possession of time wasting, based on the self-imposed forced overworking of previous days is far more supportive in maximising my time.



I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to exist as self-dishonesty where I convince myself that I am very busy and very effective with my time all the time, but in reality I know that I am not always being effective with my time and there is many gaps of wasted times which across a week, month, year accumulate to huge gaps across a lifetime.





I forgive myself that I have not realised in every here breathe that despite what i tell others or tell myself, In self-honesty I know that my time is currently spent with a mix of wasting time and making effective use of my time, which only makes getting things done effectively take much longer then they should.



I forgive myself that I have not realised that If i was honest with myself in all moments about my time management, then there would eventually be no actual wasted time that exists anymore, because I would have already cut out the time wasting so that relaxation and entertainment in between activities is beneficial, not the over indulgence of poor time management.



I forgive myself that I have not always been disciplined enough here to see that it is lots of smoking, alcohol, sex, masturbation, drugs, late nights, over-sleeping, over-eating, over watching of films, over playing computer games, chatting bullshit on the phone with a friend - are all things I have used and abused as tools through the years to waste time, which is unacceptable for any to continue, because over indulgence as addiction in any of these points will not assist me in living whats best for all life here.



I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to be addicted to wasting time when I feel "I deserve" this time wasting, when in reality wasting time is never acceptable and real relaxation is acceptable yet is totally different to time wasting.





I forgive myself for not always realising in the moment when I am wasting my time interacting with a person who is not actually assisting me to be the best version of myself, but is purely a fake friend who I am attracted to in someway, yet much of our relationship is based on limited energies.



I forgive myself that I have not understood and realised in every breathe that wasting time and relaxation are two totally different things - fun and relaxation should be the common sense use of ones time to interact and have some enjoyable calm, yet no "tool" is needed for this necessarily. Where as time wasting is the abuse of fun and relaxation as the phrases "time flies when your having a good time" and "the weekend went so quickly" shows.



I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to use time wasting to try and avoid the pain of actual physical time schedule correction, when in reality the more i push, the more I face the pain of cutting away all forms of unnecessary time wasting, then the easier it gets over time as my existence as this physical muscle expands.



I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed ineffective time management across many points, which ends up giving varied results in many things, because I'm not spending enough time on some things and spending too much time on other things.



I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to try to do too much on a variety of things, as an excuse in the mind to prolong entertaining but wasted time activities which is an unacceptable cycle.



I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to know what needs to be done in my schedule and when it needs to be done to make the most of my time, but making it difficult to achieve with these blocks this wasting time on entertainment.



I forgive myself for not seeing and realising in every moment that entertainment is fine, as long as it is utilised from a starting point of common sense, where no possession is occurring and so the entertainment is not effecting the completion of priority tasks to be achieved.



I forgive myself for not seeing and realising in all breathe as life that the saying "time flies when your having a good time" is true and overtakes you if one allows it - it becomes an addiction to "have a good time" through any means as self-interest.



I forgive myself that I have allowed and accepted the phrase "work hard play hard" to possess me within and as the pre-programmed mind in separation of myself, where because I "work so hard" that I am then apparently allowed to "play so hard" - literally a phrase which enforces the the abuse of the physical body and fun if one allows it.





I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to say i was busy whenever I am late for something, when really i was deliberately miscalculating within wasting time.



I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to hold onto a belief from younger years that time doesn't exist, which while to a certain degree this may be true, I have allowed it to have the effect on me of believing you don't need to pay attention to it almost.



I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to disregard the importance of effective time management because of holding onto this belief that time does not exist - bottom line is that anyone who is tied to making money to survive in this capitalistic money system is thus tied to time, to the clocks and calender's all the systems of capitalism use in every moment.



I forgive myself that I have not seen and realised in every moment that whenever time is seeming to go fast yet not much beneficial things are being created, then that is an indicator that I am trapped within and as the mind, following my own self-interested bliss and I must stop.





I forgive myself to not accepting and allowing myself to get in a zombie state of feeling good as this pattern of wasting time, which is unacceptable.



I forgive myself for not always realising that entertainment is ok from time to time, but it is dangerous to then react and transform into a possessed zombie that cannot physically move and is controlled for prolonged periods.



I forgive myself for not accepting and allowing myself to breathe and always be aware of exactly how much time I am spending on anything i am doing.



I commit myself to making sure I am always aware of exactly what I am doing, how much time I am spending on what I am doing, to make sure that I stop the areas of time wasting - so as and when I see my mind reacting having thoughts which will lead to wasting time, I stop and breathe, I do not allow myself to engage these thoughts, as it will be the continuation and further entrenchment of this pattern, so Instead I continue to breathe here, until there is no more thoughts that come up.



I commit myself to living the realisation that time is always against us as a species on planet earth - the more of us humans that start cutting away our time wasting patterns, then the sooner we will have a world that is best for all.



I commit myself to not allowing myself to over cram my schedule I realise that this over cramming of things on some days, only causes too much time, or not enough being spent on different things, unnecessary tasks being self-created and the abuse of my physical body - so as and when I see my mind trying to get lots of things crammed into a short time frame, I stop and breathe I do not allow myself to participate, I apply common sense to look clearly at what I actually require to get done and what is coming from my ego - I continue to breathe until there is no more thoughts to unnecessarily over cram things into one day.





I commit myself to not allowing myself to react to forcing myself to do too much, and use that as an excuse to waste time in the days after. So as and when I see my mind having thoughts about being justified wasting loads of time, because of all the work I've done on something the days before - I stop and breathe I realise that a balance of work and fun/relaxation is best, not an abuse of both, I continue to breathe until I have transcended the thoughts of forcing too many things and subsequent excuse reaction.




Return to “7 Years Journey to Life”

Who is online

Users browsing this forum: Google [Bot] and 1 guest

cron