https://equalityonenessonearth.blogspot ... art-2.html
Continuing from my last blog looking at how I fill my time, is what I'm doing in any moment to the benefit of all life? Or is there too much time being wasted on things based in separation?
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to exist as a pattern of wasting time where I tie - me within separation as the pre-programmed mind. I realise that it is only within stopping the chemical processes of the mind here as breathe and the common sense from this that I remove the wasted time and maximise the effective use of my time.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to exist as the ego, as the energy that derives from the wants and desires that come up in my mind, which cause the wasting of time for my own momentary bliss ahead of what is best for all which is unacceptable.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to not make the most of my time in every moment, because in this life there is no time to waste a world that is best for all must be lived here in my words and deeds in every moment.
I forgive myself that I accept and allow myself to use the excuse that I am busy, when in reality I am simply over complicating my day, spreading my time ineffectively, too thinly across too many points, where I deceive myself that I am being effective just because of how much different types of things im doing and and how tiring it can be physically and mentally and thus "I deserve" to be able to waste some time.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to deceive myself, for fooling myself that I'm getting "ahead of schedule" by over-cramming my days, thus I deserve other days where I waste lots of time to "relax" from this over-cramming on other days.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to be dishonest about how busy I truly am when others ask me at times, where I use this as a tool to excuse myself whenever I am late to a scheduled place, when really I am just allowing poor time management here.
I forgive myself for not realising in every here breathe that is the moments of thinking, deciding deliberating in my mind which also causes and compounds the wasting of time - whenever one thought comes up which is "should I waste time now, or do the next task?" there is a pattern of deciding in my mind this back and forth game where I assess if I deserve to waste time right now or not.
I forgive myself that I accepted and allowed myself to over indulge in wasting time on one day, just because over the past few days before I have been "getting lots done" so I deserve this time wasting, when in reality, when time is managed effectively here I get things done as efficiently as possible on any day, where moments of relaxation are allowed everyday yet are utilised according to common sense in between getting things done.
I for give myself that I have not realised in all moments that a balanced use of relaxation works in tangent with an effective use of time in ones schedule as opposed to an over indulgence, a possession of time wasting, based on the self-imposed forced overworking of previous days is far more supportive in maximising my time.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to exist as self-dishonesty where I convince myself that I am very busy and very effective with my time all the time, but in reality I know that I am not always being effective with my time and there is many gaps of wasted times which across a week, month, year accumulate to huge gaps across a lifetime.
I forgive myself that I have not realised in every here breathe that despite what i tell others or tell myself, In self-honesty I know that my time is currently spent with a mix of wasting time and making effective use of my time, which only makes getting things done effectively take much longer then they should.
I forgive myself that I have not realised that If i was honest with myself in all moments about my time management, then there would eventually be no actual wasted time that exists anymore, because I would have already cut out the time wasting so that relaxation and entertainment in between activities is beneficial, not the over indulgence of poor time management.
I forgive myself that I have not always been disciplined enough here to see that it is lots of smoking, alcohol, sex, masturbation, drugs, late nights, over-sleeping, over-eating, over watching of films, over playing computer games, chatting bullshit on the phone with a friend - are all things I have used and abused as tools through the years to waste time, which is unacceptable for any to continue, because over indulgence as addiction in any of these points will not assist me in living whats best for all life here.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to be addicted to wasting time when I feel "I deserve" this time wasting, when in reality wasting time is never acceptable and real relaxation is acceptable yet is totally different to time wasting.
I forgive myself for not always realising in the moment when I am wasting my time interacting with a person who is not actually assisting me to be the best version of myself, but is purely a fake friend who I am attracted to in someway, yet much of our relationship is based on limited energies.
I forgive myself that I have not understood and realised in every breathe that wasting time and relaxation are two totally different things - fun and relaxation should be the common sense use of ones time to interact and have some enjoyable calm, yet no "tool" is needed for this necessarily. Where as time wasting is the abuse of fun and relaxation as the phrases "time flies when your having a good time" and "the weekend went so quickly" shows.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to use time wasting to try and avoid the pain of actual physical time schedule correction, when in reality the more i push, the more I face the pain of cutting away all forms of unnecessary time wasting, then the easier it gets over time as my existence as this physical muscle expands.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed ineffective time management across many points, which ends up giving varied results in many things, because I'm not spending enough time on some things and spending too much time on other things.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to try to do too much on a variety of things, as an excuse in the mind to prolong entertaining but wasted time activities which is an unacceptable cycle.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to know what needs to be done in my schedule and when it needs to be done to make the most of my time, but making it difficult to achieve with these blocks this wasting time on entertainment.
I forgive myself for not seeing and realising in every moment that entertainment is fine, as long as it is utilised from a starting point of common sense, where no possession is occurring and so the entertainment is not effecting the completion of priority tasks to be achieved.
I forgive myself for not seeing and realising in all breathe as life that the saying "time flies when your having a good time" is true and overtakes you if one allows it - it becomes an addiction to "have a good time" through any means as self-interest.
I forgive myself that I have allowed and accepted the phrase "work hard play hard" to possess me within and as the pre-programmed mind in separation of myself, where because I "work so hard" that I am then apparently allowed to "play so hard" - literally a phrase which enforces the the abuse of the physical body and fun if one allows it.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to say i was busy whenever I am late for something, when really i was deliberately miscalculating within wasting time.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to hold onto a belief from younger years that time doesn't exist, which while to a certain degree this may be true, I have allowed it to have the effect on me of believing you don't need to pay attention to it almost.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to disregard the importance of effective time management because of holding onto this belief that time does not exist - bottom line is that anyone who is tied to making money to survive in this capitalistic money system is thus tied to time, to the clocks and calender's all the systems of capitalism use in every moment.
I forgive myself that I have not seen and realised in every moment that whenever time is seeming to go fast yet not much beneficial things are being created, then that is an indicator that I am trapped within and as the mind, following my own self-interested bliss and I must stop.
I forgive myself to not accepting and allowing myself to get in a zombie state of feeling good as this pattern of wasting time, which is unacceptable.
I forgive myself for not always realising that entertainment is ok from time to time, but it is dangerous to then react and transform into a possessed zombie that cannot physically move and is controlled for prolonged periods.
I forgive myself for not accepting and allowing myself to breathe and always be aware of exactly how much time I am spending on anything i am doing.
I commit myself to making sure I am always aware of exactly what I am doing, how much time I am spending on what I am doing, to make sure that I stop the areas of time wasting - so as and when I see my mind reacting having thoughts which will lead to wasting time, I stop and breathe, I do not allow myself to engage these thoughts, as it will be the continuation and further entrenchment of this pattern, so Instead I continue to breathe here, until there is no more thoughts that come up.
I commit myself to living the realisation that time is always against us as a species on planet earth - the more of us humans that start cutting away our time wasting patterns, then the sooner we will have a world that is best for all.
I commit myself to not allowing myself to over cram my schedule I realise that this over cramming of things on some days, only causes too much time, or not enough being spent on different things, unnecessary tasks being self-created and the abuse of my physical body - so as and when I see my mind trying to get lots of things crammed into a short time frame, I stop and breathe I do not allow myself to participate, I apply common sense to look clearly at what I actually require to get done and what is coming from my ego - I continue to breathe until there is no more thoughts to unnecessarily over cram things into one day.
I commit myself to not allowing myself to react to forcing myself to do too much, and use that as an excuse to waste time in the days after. So as and when I see my mind having thoughts about being justified wasting loads of time, because of all the work I've done on something the days before - I stop and breathe I realise that a balance of work and fun/relaxation is best, not an abuse of both, I continue to breathe until I have transcended the thoughts of forcing too many things and subsequent excuse reaction.