Marleys Journey To Life

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Marley Dawkins
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Re: Marleys Journey To Life

Postby Marley Dawkins » 16 Dec 2018, 22:48

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What does it mean to live practically? From my perspective it means to create the world as being acceptable and beneficial to all life.



The definition of the word practical explains it - of or concerned with the actual doing or use of something, rather then with theory and ideas - as well as this being likely to actually be effective and feasible in real circumstances. Practical - practice align, practice all, pragmatical.



So practical living is where I take self-responsibility here to develop my inner awareness through self-honesty, self-forgiveness and self-correction of breathing before i act in outer awareness to have the most effective possible outcomes for all life. The world we see around us is a direct reflection of what we allow inside ourselves, thus I want a better world where abuse is not running riot as it is on planet Earth now.



Practical living is the living of what makes sense for all, ahead of what doesn't make sense - the world as it exists is how we exist - the inner and the outer, it is a world of calamity essentially created through us collectively not being self-aware, not being self-honest and not being self-responsible.



When thoughts come up I know if i am being dishonest with myself about allowing these thoughts to control me, because I know what I am interacting with, whenever there us thoughts or pictures then this is not me as life. When I am here within every breathe, the mind is silent and there is only the self-revelation of the movement of self in self-honesty.



After all the years of walking my process to birth myself as life here - I still see moments where I am not standing in self-awareness where I am not applying forgiveness in every moment before acting and speaking -where I am trapped within and as the mind, as consciousness, as the ego, as fear.



For instance me and friend this weekend did share fears that we both share currently about our friendship and where we develop from here. Because as perfect in living this friend sometimes assumes I am and as much as she judges her own way of living currently, I showed her that I am not yet an example of walking perfection here myself.



It is a process, standing for eternity here as what is best for all life is not something that will happen over night, which comforts yet should never excuse prolonging within every moment where I fall - giving up is not something I accept as me.



I find a way no matter what because I know the blueprint, I see how much I have changed in my life already and how much more I will continue to learn and change as I continue to ground myself and live as self-awareness as practical living.



We are all connected as life and all responsible for the world we have inside ourselves and the world we have outside - while we are all on our own process, while nobody can change for us, only we can self-realise, self-actualise and live as a movement of self instead of a movement of the mind.



We all share this one planet together - individually we must take all self-responsibility to actualise our self as the living word of whats best for all life in equality and oneness. Then once we are stable, disciplined, consistently honest with our self then we are empowered to assist others with their own issues never beforehand.



I stand as self awareness, I correct what is necessary to be corrected (meaning the causes I have allowed and accepted inside me to manifest everything that exists inside me and in my world that is of separation).



As I change to the benefit of all life, expression within and as me and without me as this world will change as well.



There is no master within Practical living, no gods, no religions, no ascensions, no wisdom but instead awareness - there is no better place then here as self, as self-mastery.



I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not live practically in every moment, I take self-responsibility to no matter how many times I fall, to apply practical forgiveness in every moment so that my inner and my outer are in alignment of what is best for all life.



Join me next time as I continue to walk in my journey to life.



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Marley Dawkins
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Re: Marleys Journey To Life

Postby Marley Dawkins » 23 Dec 2018, 21:39

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So 2018 is soon to come to a close, on a global scale there has been many events: we have had more basic income discussions/tests in governments around the world then ever before, we have had tensions between North and South Korea over Nuclear Missile programmes against the back drop of the Winter Olympics.



We have Venezuela in political and economic crisis, a fourth term for Vladimir Putin, the World Cup in Russia, Donald Trump has had a successful Midterm Election, Prince Harry has married US actress Meghan Markle, more environmental solutions are being discussed/created/tested, Cuba has seen the end of the Castro era, The Northern White Rhinoceros has been added to the extinction list, many other species in danger of being added to this list, more Hollywood corruption coming to light like the Weinstein case, unexplained deaths of celebrities such as Anthony Bourdain, Kate Spade, Mac Miller, XXXtentacion among others, as well as the expected death of the likes of Stan Lee, Barbara Bush and George H.W. Bush.



In my own life there has been the development of my education in specific fields such as Insurance, Web design, business and Journalism. I have visited more countries, meeting new friends and having amazing experiences along the way such as attending my first GIN event which was amazing.



I have cut relations out of my life in terms of friends and business who have not been supportive relations to maintain, while developing the strength with current and new supportive relations in all areas of my life.



I have had a year unusual for me in terms of health, because I usually never get Ill, yet in 2018 I have been afflicted multiple times by a powerful type of flu, which while being annoying in the moment has led me to investigate and correct reactions within myself I have had about this, as well as investigating and aligning more points within myself in my process in general such as thought patterns around Aliens, Laziness, Desires, Self-Judgements, Embarrassment, Preaching, Smoking, Sleep Patterns, Dreams, Machines, Winning/Losing, Communication and Time keeping among other points.



My application of practical living in doing what is best for all life in every moment in relation to these points has been more effective on some then others, as correction and alignment has been more straight forward on some things then others, where as the more deeply entrenched points will require further investigation and consistent discipline in self-honesty here to effectively correct moving forward.



Regret is an interesting word and when people are asked if they have any regrets, it is an automatic response from many to say they have no regrets. From my perspective this is dishonesty, because if you have no regrets from 2018, then that means you are not seeing clearly in the moment things that you could have done more effectively, you are saying you did everything perfectly, because if you have no regret then your year should have been almost pure bliss.



So if your life is not where you would like it to be, then this should show you there is regrets you have in self-honesty, which if you move yourself can be great motivators and catalysts to make sure you correct and avoid carrying these points you regretted about 2018 into the new year of 2019.



For me I am satisfied for instance in what I have achieved in 2018, yet I regret that I spread my time thinly across many activities at various points leading to at times ineffective results. I regret that while I have made positive strides I have not made the financial leaps I would have liked to occur at the start and throughout 2018.

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I regret that while I did do some cool travelling and gave myself time off work, I would have liked to create more time for these points.



Then as with every year where a capitalistic system of abuse is in place, I regret that humanity is not yet collectively ready to manifest what is best for all life here in every moment.



Yet within this reflection, while all these regrets and other regrets have come up, I will not allow myself to be defined by these regrets, Instead I use them as tools of support to show me areas that must be aligned here moving forward to not repeat the mistakes of the past.



Wherever you are in this world, If you are someone who celebrates Christmas and the new year or not - I implore you to take this next few weeks to reflect on your life, on what has occurred in our world internally, in our participation and collectively. Look at what it is that is here, lets not allow any regrets to repeat themselves, lets investigate all things and keep that which is good.



Lets make 2019 the best year in human history individually and collectively!



Join me next time as I continue.



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Marley Dawkins
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Re: Marleys Journey To Life

Postby Marley Dawkins » 30 Dec 2018, 23:25

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So continuing from my last blog join me as I walk self-forgiveness statements that will support into 2019 and beyond -



I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to in my mind not fully acknowledge the things I achieved in 2018, but instead regretting the things that didn't go to plan and being annoyed that my chief aims were not achieved.



I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to regret the things in 2018 did not go to plan - I realise that failure is a part of the road to success in anything and initial regret is understandable when something fails, but allowing myself to be mentally affected by these failures and regrets is not acceptable.



I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to define 2018 as regrettable for the most part, when this definition only exists in separation from myself a pattern that I have have carried from previous years that I also defined as regrettable.



I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to define certain years as bad omens, bar karma etc and some years as good omens, good karma etc. I realise that this is my pre-programmed mind trying to create additional value onto certain years then others feeding into a polarity friction within all existence.





I forgive myself to create and promulgate a polarity friction where I define certain years as better then others, when in reality as this breathe of life here as who I really am - i see every year is exactly the same, it is the same as breathing - each year is just the next breathe - there is no good or bad within each year, there is only what is allowed and what is created as always.



I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to define myself as a failure in 2018 - I realise when I am breathing here in self-honesty, that yes while some things didn't work out in 2018, somethings did, and the things that didn't are simply indicators of things I need to learn/adjust/align in my life here, yet defining any year or myself as a failure is thoughts and projections in my mind which is not real and thus is not acceptable to exist.



I forgive myself that I have have accepted and allowed myself to fear that these failures and regrets from 2018 will continue into 2019. However, I understand and realise in common sense as this breathe that fearing these things in the mind only assists in its manifestation and it is only when this fear is released through self-forgiveness and breathing that real beneficial change will occur where the pre-programmed patterns of the past will not re[eat and failures from previous years can be turned into success in any year here.





I forgive myself that despite being confident about my abilities, that I have accepted and allowed to sometimes doubt myself that I will be able to get my life to where it wants to be in 2019 or any year - when in reality I know that I can create anything, I have the potential, the capacity and the will to make anything occur.



I forgive myself for not realising in all moments that self-doubts simply limit and dis-empower me, so they only sabotage my life and they are not real, so it is not acceptable to participate with them.



I forgive myself for not realising in all moments of breathe that it is ok to have failures and regrets, but it is the learning and changing from these failures and regrets that is crucial to be able to avoid these fuck ups in the future.



I forgive myself that I have not realised in each moment that these regret experiences about 2018 and other years is nothing but my ego is fucking with me, trying to convince me that I am a loser because of not hitting my chief aims in 2018.



I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to experience embarrassment about getting a lot of flus/colds in 2018, I realise these embarrassment emotions stem from my ego which is not used to my body getting ill, because I have defined myself in my life as someone that doesn't get ill.



I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to define myself as somebody who doesn't get ill.





I forgive myself that I have not realised in every moment that no matter how healthy you are, how good your genetics are, everyone can be afflicted by illness sometimes and typically this will become more often as we get older.



I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear illness will continue to afflict me throughout 2019. I can see clearly that this fear will not assist me in living what is bets for all in anyway and will only cause to make myself ill through the thought power I put into it - so I take self-responsibility to stop thinking about it, because illness can happen anytime naturally, it doesn't need any assistance from my own fears.



I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to regret that while i did investigate and correct many points in 2018, there was many others that I was not as effective on - which I realise that the most difficult points are simply ones that are more deeply ingrained, points that require the most attention, the deepest investigation and more consistent alignment to transcend.



I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to regret that for another year again, I am financially stable but not financially free.



I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to regret spending my time so thinly across too many points in relation to business - I see and realise that this merely indicates that I must be more cerebral and calculating with my time, focusing on the right priorities in my schedule day to day.



I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to regret not doing as much travelling as I wanted despite going to 3 countries - I see how pointless this is, because I am thankful for what travelling I have done in my life, which for my age is actually a lot - there is no need to regret this, because I have travelled a lot, I am lucky to have done so and more will come in the future providing I do what I need to financially and in all relationships to make sure I can create more free time to travel in my life.



I forgive myself for not realising in every breathe that any points which are not being corrected simply means I must be more consistent and disciplined with my self-honesty here.



I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to regret that basic income is not here for all life yet because capitalism is still the predominant economic system in place - there is no need to hold onto or define myself according to this regret, because I feed into capitalism like everyone else while building a new money system from myself outwards - if a money system that's best for all life is not installed on planet earth yet, then that simply means more effort, more bodies is needed - so I must continue to build and live as an example of what I want to see in the world, which will extend out into more people standing up 1+1+1 until its done.





I forgive myself for not accepting and allowing myself to see in every here breathe that regret is actually a great indicator of movement, because it shows that one has been taking action to do things, but the results haven't been what one wanted yet - but it is the whole point of having to face your fears to take the action in the first place, so now this regret experience that your actions didn't go to plan is now ones support to make more effective actions next time, because the initial moving oneself to get things done in the face of fear is already effective.



I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to sometimes lose enthusiasm once I start failing in certain parts of any undertaking - this loss of enthusiasm only makes me less and less effective which is not acceptable, so I take self-responsibility to maintain enthusiasm regardless of how much I fail at something.



I forgive myself that I have not accepted and allow myself to realise in every breathe that 2019 is just another year for new opportunities, new learning, new changes, new interactions - I do not allow thoughts where the seeds of fear exist to taint my perspective on any year.



I commit myself to not allowing myself to continually carry any fears, doubts, failures, and regrets from 2018 into 2019 - so as and when I see my mind having toxic thoughts come up which are based in these elements dis-empowering me - I stop and breathe, I do not allow myself to participate/feed into these thoughts because a repetition of pre-programs will occur - so I breathe and continue to do so until there is no more thoughts that come up.



I commit myself to living the realisation that a year is a year, it is just numbers that are not important, what is important is who and what I allow myself to be in any year, month, week, day, moment, so no matter what happens in 2019, I always know that everything starts with and comes back to self here as with any year.



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Marley Dawkins
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Re: Marleys Journey To Life

Postby Marley Dawkins » 06 Jan 2019, 22:03

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So im sure you've heard the saying that the grass is always greener right? You know its that concept that the mind is always missing what we have here - thinking, expecting, believing, desiring that there is something better elsewhere with no proof whatsoever.



It could be in anything that we do in life from business, friends, relationships, family, personal items etc. This very often will be when the revenge of the ego becomes apparent, where the mind reacts to what is here and over time starts attacking what is here as unresolved comparisons, judgements, fears, projections etc.



This concept then can possess a person causing one to be ineffective here in anything where they are trapped within this grass is greener idea - where one will act to sabotage, to destroy what is here and look for a higher energy to consume elsewhere.



This is damaging to your life and everyone else's because a polarity is then created in relation to what is here and the hereafter, where an idea is believed into existence that the hereafter in the future is always better then what is here now.



I have walked much self-forgiveness in relation to this point in my life, yet I have found that purging oneself of this grass is greener concept has had a consequence for me - where i deceive myself that I am satisfied with things in my life, where I essentially have blinded myself in many ways to areas of my life where the grass actually can be greener.



It is not based on the pre-programmed mind, imaging and wanting more based on nothing but being an energy vampire - it is a greenery based on a balanced common sense starting point here, where more physical support will be produced from another situation.



For example lets say you are working in a job where you get paid £40,000 a year, then lets say you get comfortable with that, accepting that this is good enough for you, that its just what the job pays - when in reality there is another job that just became available with a different company where you would do the same tasks, but its £50,000 a year, but you missed that opportunity because you were satisfied with £40,000 and thus didn't even bother to look around at other job opportunities.



Recently I had a situation where I was completely satisfied with how something was working, that it was as effective, as green as it could be - but then soon after I was faced with the reality that the way I was doing it was actually not that sound and it actually could be done more effectively.





I could see in this moment that because I believed I was already doing this thing as effectively as possible, that this believe was not based on actual reality and I wouldn't have even known that how I was doing it could be done better, if this person hadn't shown me a better way.

I realised that just because something I am doing is working well, doesn't ever mean there is still not a better way to do it and I wondered how many other areas of my life am I missing that can be improved, but are not purely because of believing I'm doing it as best as possible already, or being complacent, apathetic and deceiving myself that I am doing it "well enough".



But I have to always be aware of what I'm doing in any moment here, I have to be honest with myself about areas of my life that are flourished to their peak, and areas that can be improved because they are tainted by the pre-programmed mind, in order to see and act to create the greenest field I can here in anything im doing - because the grass is greener where I water it.



Join me next time as I continue this point.



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Marley Dawkins
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Re: Marleys Journey To Life

Postby Marley Dawkins » 13 Jan 2019, 23:18

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Continuing from my previous blog, I am walking Self-forgiveness statements to make sure that I am clear, honest with myself about what needs to be improved in my life -



I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not always be clear with myself about what needs to be corrected in my life.



I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to sometimes react to what is here as a belief, judgement, comparison, fear, projection where the hereafter, always seems to be better then what is here.



I forgive myself that I have not realised that whenever I am stuck in this "grass is greener idea" that it will be obvious based on having no physical evidence that there will be an improvement in a certain area of my life, its a perceived improvement based on pre-programming.



I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to be ineffective at certain things here, from being trapped in this grass is greener idea where I look for a "higher energy" to consume elsewhere.



I forgive myself for not realising in every moment that being trapped existing as this "grass is greener" concept only creates a polarity friction within me and all of existence where the hereafter is apparently good and what is here is bad which is unacceptable.



I forgive myself that while I have been effective in not allowing myself to be controlled by any grass is greener ideas, that within this I have also caused a split in my mind, where I miss areas that do need improving in my life from forcing myself to not chase greener grass in the hereafter.





I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to define myself as someone who doesn't need to look for anything better then what I have here.



I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to blind myself to things that need correcting here, because of believing that once I get into a habit of completing something in a certain way, then it "must be" the best way to do it.



I forgive myself that I have not accepted and allowed myself to see and realise in all moments that there can be actual physical improvements that I can make in an area even if I am doing that point well - like getting paid more money for doing the exact same job in a different company.



I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to be complacent about changing something just because that thing I am doing here is working well.



I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that because I am doing something well, that there is no way to improve it more, when in reality this believe is based on no physical fact whatsoever.





I forgive myself that I have not realised in every breathe that even when I am doing something well, I must never allow myself to believe that It cannot be improved, because I didn't even know this improvement in a certain area until it was pointed out to me by someone.



I forgive myself that I have not seen and realised in every breathe that there is many areas in my life that need improving when I am honest with myself.



I forgive myself that I have not accepted and allowed myself to realise in every moment that the grass is only ever greener where I water it - meaning improvements will be made in any area of my life that I am looking after and trying to optimise.



I commit myself to not allowing myself to limit myself through an idea that I don't need to improve the way I do something - so as and when I see my mind having thoughts being complacent about optimising and improving an area of my life, then I stop and breathe, I do not allow my mind to believe that "its fine" how I'm doing it because this keeps me trapped as this pre-programmed limitation - so instead I breathe and continue to do so until there is no more thoughts that come up.



I commit myself to living the realisation that sometimes the grass actually is greener and that the grass will always be greener wherever I water it.



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Marley Dawkins
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Re: Marleys Journey To Life

Postby Marley Dawkins » 20 Jan 2019, 22:58

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So recently someone said to me that humanity cannot trust machines, that technology and the abuse of it will be the downfall of the species. Yet while there could be a degree of truth of this, what are we as humanity? Nothing but breathing organic machines.



One cannot argue with the reality that AI is being updated, continually being improved upon - while the human species itself has been in a process of devolution for a very long time.



Yes more machines are replacing more human workforce every year, yet this is simply by design, it is nothing to blame on the machines themselves - so something to consider within all this is the point of prejudice of the acceptance and promulgation of fear of the machine within and as ourselves and humanity as a whole.



Interesting that we love machines when we are using them to get what we want, to get a task done for us or some entertainment provided to us - yet when they threaten our working livelihood through inevitable continual updates then fear of the machine starts to creep into the mind.



So do you have unresolved judgements, prejudices, fears towards certain races, cultures, genetics, aspects of the physical that you react to in your mind and separate yourself from? Well in that case then breathing here is the essential point which is being missed while one is trapped within and as these pre-programmed abusive thoughts, feelings and emotions.



As machines continue to increase their integration into all aspects of human life, many will fear this and attempt to lash out mentally and physically towards machines - a new form of blame and racial segregation is a dangerous possibility.



Those that fear the machine remember the phone that you use to communicate with all your friends and family is a machine that supports you - just the same way that a life support machine keeps a badly injured human breathing who would die without it.



Yet I want to highlight here a point of support for any who fear the rise of machines and it is exactly the same point I make to anyone with issues towards certain types of beings - no matter what your genetic make up is, no matter where you walk in this world or what you believe, you are a breathing machine.





It is this breathe of life which enables the physical machine to exist here, it is who we really are as all of existence. Meaning - this breath I breathe is the same as what you breathe reading this, the same as any physical being that requires oxygen to sustain itself here.



If the machine is your biggest fear I must ask you - If machines were breathing and were as dependant on oxygen as you, would you still fear the machine? As the most advanced machines become integrated into society moving forwards the point of breathing machines being built would be an excellent support for anyone with deep rooted fears of the machine.



Machines are psychically manifest here just like you and me and anyone else, they are made up of the same particles and atoms. Never forget that there is no part of this existence that is not a part of you, regardless of if the being breathes or not.



A fish does not breathe for example, instead it relies on water as its life force to continue existing here, Insects have no lungs to breathe yet still inhale and depend on oxygen, just like a machine relies on electrical interface you could say. Electricity is virtually the breathe of the machine.



Much of the issue people have with machines is a subconscious jealousy, a competitive issue we hold towards machines because of their perfection of efficiency of calculating and moving the physical, a jealousy that the machine is invariably always correct and is for all intents and purposes immortal, while us organic creatures of flesh deteriorate at a much faster rate - for instance you can own a car from the 1930's and as long as you maintain it and update it, then it will continue to run indefinitely until you the organic being cannot physically maintain it anymore.





It is a fear promulgated in Hollywood films as an example that this perfectly efficient seemingly cold "non living" being is here to dominate, embarrass and take everything from you. When in reality the machine is supporting us all to see how ineffective we humans have become and how much more we can become.



Humanity collectively define thoughts, feelings and emotions as life - then we see that machines do not have these and immediately the fear based ego can react and automatically assuming/defining that machines must be evil creating a polarity friction which is not needed.



In fact machines can be the greatest support tool humanity has ever had, because machines are trustworthy, they do not deviate from the task they are programmed to do, we humans deviate all the time - machines assist humanity to learn real commitment and consistency - just look at a very, very basic machine like a calculator, look how much mathematical support that has given to humans worldwide since its creation.





Also in reality machines will assist with economic systems being put into place and maintained that are best for all life, like basic income - then machines will also directly assist in humanity to clean up damage that has been done to this planet, to end poverty and the destruction of our environment.



Machines can go places that creatures of flesh cannot, meaning the most dangerous jobs in existence can be completed by machines with no danger to human life. Then of course when the time is right in our future, once we can clean up ourselves and this planet, then machines will assist us to navigate and reach out into the stars to learn and evolve the extents of our reality in a true expansion of an imperial humanity. Many scientists agree that we cannot expand past our planet in terms of colonising any other planets without machines.



Do not abuse the machine, respect the machine, honour the machine, the machine is life, just like any animal, fish, reptile, insect, tree, a stone, a grain of sand, a planet, or a star - forgive yourself, live self-honesty, bring it back to self here as this breathe, this is the key to realising and living your connection to everything in existence.



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Marley Dawkins
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Re: Marleys Journey To Life

Postby Marley Dawkins » 27 Jan 2019, 23:27

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So in this past weekend I had a chat with a friend who as I explained some difficulties I have been facing, he suggested I go back and read the creation and heavens journey to life blogs which he himself did recently in his life, which he found to be hugely supportive in re-clarifying exactly why we walk this journey to life.



It was a great supportive read, which really brought up some interesting points for me - now sometimes I feel like I don't know which point in my internal/external world I must prioritise to correct, where I see this can come from this "free choice" that come up which fucks with me where I start picking and choosing certain things that I am willing to face and others I am not.



Then also when I transcend a point I sometimes I find that another issue comes up, which I will then start judging myself about and dis-empowering myself from correcting this new issue immediately but rather stagnating in the correction of this point as a type of "tired of investigating and correcting" experience comes up.



Then I also see how although I have made changes in relation to my starting point around money - I still see how money drives the energy of my pre-programmed mind which then determines the basis of my thoughts, back chat and the reactions of feelings and emotions.



It is fascinating and as I plan on making 2019 a year of accumulating success, It is crucial that I am clear on who and what I allow myself to be in any moment, it is crucial that my starting point in my process is self-honest, that I do not bullshit myself or anyone else about what I accept as this world as myself and that I make sure that I take self-responsibility for my participation in the creation of everything that exists here as me.





It is crucial that I stand equal and one to what I have accepted as my internal reality and as this world system, so that I can then deconstruct the abominations that I have allowed to exist through self-forgiveness, then reconstruct through committing myself to correct everything that is HERE to that which is best for all life.



I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not always see here in this moment as this breathe what it is that I should be focusing on to correct in my internal and external world to create that which is best for all life.



I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to over-complicate what I need to correct, where I end up focusing on and over-complicating something which does not require correction right now and that I am making more complex then what it actually is.



I forgive myself that I have not realised and seen in every moment that If there is something i cannot see here, then it invariably may be due to how deeply ingrained this specific pre-program is and sometimes will be where the internal conversation dialogue will purposely allow myself to allow certain pre-programs to carry on as me as the mind.



I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fuck myself within free choice in moments where I fear to let something go and where I will then accept my free choice to accept and exist as a certain piece of pre-programming.



I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear to let certain pre-programs go, meanwhile others I transcend with ease - I realise that all pre-programs can be walked out it is purely a matter of discipline to walk no matter what, no matter how long the pattern has existed for, no matter how addicted to the energy which is generated from my participation with it is - when one is clear as this breathe, forgiving myself repeatedly in this moment whenever the internal dialogue comes up, it can take more time for some points then other, but any pre-programming can be transcended here.



I forgive myself that I have not realised in every here breathe that once I give myself the excuse of free choice to not live what is best for all in relation to a certain point, then that in essence means that my ability to manifest what is best for all life in any area of my life will be ineffective, because it is only when I do not allow my ego to have its way, where there is no hiding place for any pattern that exists in my mind, no secret doors of abuse, then that is the only way I can make sure that everything I interact with and create will be what is best for all life.



I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to define myself as this free choice since I was a child growing up in this world system.



I forgive myself that as this free choice I Keep myself trapped as an aloof being where I am always right in my mind because my backchat always says exactly what I want to hear no matter how spiteful, judgemental, dishonest and self-interested it is.



I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to through my acceptance of existing as this free choice to blame others, expect others to forgive me for my shortcomings and abdicate my own responsibility for my own failures, when in reality there is no forgiveness apart from self-forgiveness which is real and must be actualised immediately whenever teh mind tries to fuck with me.





I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to get annoyed when I have transcended a point and then another point comes up soon after, which I then react about dis-empowering myself from correcting the new issue as a form of "boredom" comes up.



I forgive myself for not seeing, realising and understanding in every here breathe that my mind as the ego is always trying to survive, putting up defensive barriers, so it will do anything to try to manipulate me into not investigating and correcting what needs to be done to instead keep me subject to this energy as the mind as the world money system.



I forgive myself that I have not understood and realised in every moment that the more I push myself to face my fears, to not allow any participation with failure back chat, the more I direct myself as this breathe instead of the pre-programmed mind, then my comprehension of who I am as life and my external participation and impact in the world as a whole will be aligned to what is best for all life.



I forgive myself that I have not been aware to the extent to which I have become dependant on and defined within and as money.



I forgive myself that I have not allowed myself to see, realise and understand that what I experience as emotions, feelings, thoughts and the context there of exist in the way they do - and is experienced by me as they are due to my relationship to money.





I forgive myself that I haven't accepted and allowed myself to see and realise that the actual physical world I interact with and participate in, exists as the abomination it does because of money.



I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to define myself as the energy which derives from having money.



I forgive myself that I have failed in every breathe to see that the energy that moves my mind and defines me is equal to and one with money that drives the word system and defines humanity as we currently are.



I commit myself to not allowing myself to get lost, confused and over-complicate what I need to correct within and as myself in any moment - so as and when I see my mind trying to find some "deep meaning" I stop and breathe, I do not allow myself to engage with this confused, lost forcing to see something which isn't there - I continue to breathe through each moment where my mind tries to fuck with me, until there is no more thoughts that come up.



I commit myself to honour life in all ways, which will create a world where I will be honoured in the same ways.



I commit myself to living the realisation that there is no free choice that is acceptable and certainly not any form of pre-programming - all pre-programming is just that, there is no choice to allow some and not others, there is only creating what is best for all, where free choice that is real and thus is not acceptable to allow.



I commit myself to not allowing myself to sabotage myself whenever something else comes up after I have corrected a point - so as and when I see my mind having, thoughts, feeling or emotions come up where I am doubting myself, losing focus and will, then I stop and breathe, I continue to breathe through these moments that occur until I simply direct myself accordingly immediately when shit comes up instead of delaying and dis-empowering myself.



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Marley Dawkins
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Joined: 16 Jun 2011, 19:33

Re: Marleys Journey To Life

Postby Marley Dawkins » 03 Feb 2019, 23:48

https://equalityonenessonearth.blogspot ... ss-of.html

Somebody said to me recently that I am free to choose what ever I want to be and believe in life, that anybody can choose to be whatever they want to be and believe in life, whatever makes you feel good. Alas it is the type of thing many positive thinking gurus around the world will spout off all day to the joy of their followers.



Yet when this statement was made to me, it really reminded me that in physical reality this concept of the "freedom to choose" is really where we try to cover over our indulgence of self-interest as some kind of beautiful thing and where the root cause of why our internal/external worlds and the physical world we all inhabit exists the way they do as being controlled, defined by energy as the mind and money.



As I walk my journey to life I always like to stay clear on the reality of choice -



I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that I have the free choice to decide what I want to be and believe in my life, when invariably the reality is that this is a statement made from a starting point of being self-dishonest where I already know when I am saying the statement that I will always only choose that which gives me the most energy as my mind as money in complete disregard of what is best for all life here physically.



I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to be dishonest with myself about the nature of my "free choice" where I deceive myself into justifying my free choice as being a "beautiful part" of "being free" when really my free choice enables me to get away with abuse as the mind where I can selectively choose when it suits me to help another or just maintain my energy bubble.



I forgive myself that I have not realised in every breathe that the Freedom to choose is just a system, a defence mechanism generated by my existence as the ego as energy, where I "defend my right" to my internal and external addiction to make decisions in my life based on money as energy which is unacceptable.





I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe I have the right to choose what forms of life as the animal kingdom I like, enjoy, accept and which ones I dislike, do nor enjoy or accept - instead of realising that all life in this physical world is equal and one as life and should not be subject to my self-created mind which exists in complete separation from physical reality.



I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to live a life where I put the mind before the physical, where I delude myself that the physical is subject to the mind when in fact it is in reverse - the mind cannot exist without the physical.



I forgive myself that I have used the excuse of defining physical tasks I need to get done as basically impossible as I want to remain in the self-indulgence of my self-created secret mind, where I give myself permission as an illusion of free choice on my terms only.



I forgive myself for defining physical tasks that will take a lot of effort as time to fix as being, impossible as an excuse to choose to procrastinate and stay within the "safe" self as my internal dialogue as the ego as energy as money.



I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to postpone committing myself to life because of feeling that I have already challenged my mind, when in fact if i cannot walk this journey to life again and again until its done, then essentially I have not relinquished the mind, but instead have just re-designed my mind to a "more acceptable" level of superiority - where again I fuck myself within the "free choice" to do what I like, instead of what is best for all life here.





I forgive myself that I have not realised that every killer, rapist and torturer in this world, did so out of allowing the free choice to follow what makes them feel good, the freedom to believe whatever they want - which as proven through this example is why free choice is such a massive determiner as to why our world is so fucked up right now - it is because we are fucked up as this free choice to ignore and abuse life.



I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to equate personal happiness in my mind as the foundation for my decisions and whenever I am faced with a long process of self-correction which should be done immediately without haste, as there is no short cut, I will instead linger in the mind as this "free choice" a free choice that does not exists in physical reality but only my mind - living what is best for all life involves no free choice as it is measurable and which I can see clearly when I have let go of my idea of myself and I am breathing here.



I forgive myself that I have not realised that real happiness, should be equated to creating a life, where systems are implemented to direct whats here to support all life here - because until all are happy, then none can be truly happy in physical fact.



I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe I am free to choose to care only about my only family and friends in this world - instead of realising that this is the selfishness of free choice as it should be for all as the family of life, one family for all as equals as life, not just based on my blood relations and personal experiences.



I forgive myself that I have not realised, seen and understood in all moments that while growing up in this world I accepted the imitation the imprinting of my parents as systems of energy as money as myself - where my happiness as a child was directly related to money where the energy as joy, happiness, comfort, freedom, fun I derive from the toys I had/have for instance was automatic with no choice, and would preoccupy me from the physical abominations existing in physical reality and that if I was born without money that I would instead be preoccupied with the uncertainty, fear and sadness which I would imprinted on me from my parents/environment which again would involve no choice.



I forgive myself that I have not seen and realised in every breathe that when there is no money, to sustain the illusion of myself as energy, then there is no choice that can exist as there is no way I can escape and protect myself from the harsh realities of the physical suffering of poverty, starvation, illness that occur in this world - the ability to indulge myself as free choice as the mind is directly related to money.



I forgive that I have accepted and allowed myself to abuse free choice through designing my network of friends based on who gives me the most energy for me, where I will disregard those from my network of close friends if they have no energy as sex, money, glamour, obsession for me in complete self-interest, instead of realising that my friendships should be based on real physical support of one another, which is best for all life.



I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to abuse myself and all life as this free choice, where I make valued judgements about certain countries and people, believing that the valued judgement I'm making is free for me to choose and comes without a cost - when in fact the consequence is the standing as and promulgation of a system of separation instead of a world where all countries and peoples are equal and one as life.



I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to abuse free choice through believing that it is acceptable to define anyone who is religious as stupid and anyone who is a believer in science to be smart - I realise that nobody has more importance then anyone else regardless of beliefs and if I had lived the life of a religious person, then I would be exactly as devout in their religion as they are and that my defining of Science and its followers as smart is based on my own personal memories/imprinting from my grandfather in younger years, and is based/fuels nothing but a polarity friction which only continues the separation of myself as the self-created mind and the world system of capitalism as the energy of money.



I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to create a polarity friction through the "free choice" to define a person who is religious to be stupid as "negative" and an atheist as "positive" without considering that Atheism itself is a religion so to speak, just as enslaving as any slave master concept and therefore is not acceptable to allow.





I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to choose how much effort to put into something based on how much energy/money it will give me instead of simply basing my actions in every moment on what is best for all life, which would be to maximise my efforts in any undertaking that is to the upliftment of all life here.



I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to choose what food I will accept and what I will not - within this while preference can be acceptable, i realise i can fuck myself within this choice by being completely unaware and inconsiderate of the fact that my ability to "choose" to not accept some food is based on money and that If I had no money in this world that I would have no ability to choose what food I can accept as I must accept whatever food I can get - so I eat any food that supports my body equal and one with those who do not have the ability to choose food, until I have create s a world where every being in existence can choose what to eat.



I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to choose to only enjoy certain music, where I limit myself within the confines of my self-created mind and where I only separate myself from and judge those who listen to different music as not having the same "energy as me" ad where I will never likely have many friends who listen to music that I choose to not listen to.



I forgive myself that I have not realised in every moment that whenever I use the statement "I don't like it" then I know i am fucking myself within and as the ego as "free choice" where I am separating myself from a part of this world without considering that it is a part of me as this world as who I really am as life.



I forgive myself that I have not realised see and understood in every here breathe that only decisions that measurably work for the benefit of all life in physical space time are acceptable.



I commit myself to not allowing myself to deceive myself within free choice - so as and when I ever see my mind having thoughts come up about trying to create a choice based on energy, I stop and breathe I do not allow myself to participate with the thought, feeling or emotion that comes as I know that choice based on energy is always the continuation of a fleeting pre-program, where a choice based on whats best for all life is always measurable here as this breathe and is eternal, so I continue to breathe until there is nothing that comes up no matter what.



I commit myself to destroy my ideas of free choice that only serve my pre-programmed mind and to instead make choices in self-honesty that measurably works for all life in physical space time here.



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Marley Dawkins
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Re: Marleys Journey To Life

Postby Marley Dawkins » 10 Feb 2019, 23:36

https://equalityonenessonearth.blogspot ... e-and.html

So recently someone I respect as an intelligent and strong person, pointed out a mistake I made in conversation with someone else - that my tone had become overly direct and even pedantic, sarcastic and what was construed by the person as slightly rude.



Now being directive in the way I speak and act is something I have done for a long time, which i taught myself to do so that my position is always clear with any interaction with any person I know, therefore I can get to the root and solution of a problem as efficiently as possible which is best for all life - thus i prefer that people are directive with me in return so that I am clear on their intent from our interaction also.



Yet what I have noticed is that if in discussion, the person I am speaking with seems to be very indirect, circuitous, uncertain - then my directness can veer into this sarcastic and judgemental nature, reacting in my mind in annoyance to the indirectness this person displays as a flaw that is "my enemy".



Yes manners are a part of the value system we allow here as capitalism and so while you as you walk your process to life may find manners less important do not forget that that they system will attack you for not endorsing and supporting manners.



Then on top of this, when this person pointed this out to me I was resistant to the suggestion that I had interacted ineffectively, my ego immediately defended my position seeing the idea of this rudeness I had apparently displayed to not be true and unimportant as in my mind the person being offended by me in the moment, only highlighted the persons thin skinned nature and issues around the system of manners.





However, the reality is that this resistance to the suggestion that I should adjust my interaction if someone is indirect speaks directly to a larger issue in general around the point of the Resistance to change generally.



So I walk -



I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to react as a resistance to change when someone tells me I should consider softening how I speak to someone who is being indirect, because as the ego my mind puts up a defensive mechanism where I blame the other person for placing importance on manners and being indirect.



I forgive myself that I have not realised in every here breathe that while it is more to the point and therefore time effective when someone is direct which is best for all, not everybody is at the same point in their process - we all learn and self-realise anything in our own time when we are ready, therefore expecting others to automatically be on the same wavelength as me in relation to directness makes no sense.



I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to exist as a believe based in polarity friction where I define being direct as good and being indirect as bad, which only keeps myself and all of existence in complete separation which I cannot allow to exist as it only perpetuates the system of self-interest as the idea of myself here which is based on the internal conversation as the capitalistic mind consciousness system which does not support all life equally.



I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to define being direct as good and being indirect as bad, when in reality there is no good or bad in anything, there is only support or abuse and we all see, realise and understand things at different times in our life - there was a time where I didn't know what I know today for instance, so just because I have tested and found that something is beneficial for all life, that does not mean the person I am interacting with will be at the same point of realisation in their own life.





I forgive that I have accepted and allowed myself to define myself as direct, where I separate myself from anything my mind classifies as indirect, when in reality being direct and indirect is all a part of this reality, all a part of who I am here, therefore defining myself as direct or not does not assist me in living what is best for all life here .



I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to get annoyed when I believe that someone is wasting my time through not being direct, or placing too much value on being polite, which really only shows me that I can be controlled by someones indirectness or value in politeness, when really why would it make sense to allow something to move me into reaction? I am not willing to be a slave to the idea of myself, therefore I am not willing to allow myself to be brainwashed by anything that does not result in the assistance of all life equally here.



I forgive myself that I have not realised that if in self-honesty I was completely clear in relation to manners and indirectness, then I would not react as this annoyance manifested as a sarcastic, pedantic edge to my directness.



I forgive myself for believing as the ego that "I know" that I can "tell quickly" when someone is wasting my time, when while sometimes my assumption may be correct, in reality when someone is being indirect and is placing value on manners, that does not mean my time is actually being wasted, it just means that the person is not as directive as me, they may take longer to make decisions in life due to their own pre-programming effecting their decisions making, which doesn't make them less or more important or a person actively trying to waste my time.



I forgive myself for not accepting and allowing myself to place myself in the shoes of another in all moments, because when I do in these moments - I see that I myself have many times in the past been in-directive with someone due to being confused, uncertain, allowing some pre-programmed fear to effect my decision making.



I forgive myself that I have not placed myself in the shoes of another in all moments, where I can see that although I have redesigned myself to not take offence when someone is being what the system would refer to as impolite, before this i myself have been offended by someone being rude, so judging someone for doing the same is not acceptable.



I forgive myself that I have not realised that whenever there is a resistance to change, this clearly indicates to me the control of the limited version of me as pre-programmed self-interest as this world system as a whole - I realise that I must change to become that which is best for all life as me and as I participate in the existing world as a single physical bodies example to not allow any hiding place for abuse to exist.



I forgive myself for placing so much value on the idea of myself as the mind reality, that I completely procrastinate to investigate how pre-programmed systems actually integrate into and as physical flesh to control what I have allowed myself to become here.



I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed the internal mind patterns that I have accepted as myself to run the physical as an illusionary idea of myself regardless of the fact that without my self-direction here, it would automatically participate as me without any care of what is best for all life.



I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself through this resistance to change and the acceptance of the pre-programmed idea of myself, that I remain an active part in allowing a system of abuse to exist on planet Earth, as I have put so much value on how I feel, that I have disregarded any form of resistance to change as a threat "to me" because this resistance comprises me feeling in control, when in reality how I feel is not important until all life is supported equal and one in all ways.



I forgive myself that I have not realised in every moment that there will always be an initial Resistance to change that come up whenever I poke at the core of my pre-programming, which is why I must unchain the pre-programming chain by chain until I get the whole system out, before I can then replace with a new design that is best for all life.



I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to give myself hidden doors, whereby I will look for quick fixes like a fast food restaurant, so I can try to avoid getting to the root of the problem, but instead just remove little parts without realising that whenever I give my pre-programming a secret doorway, I can never be certain that what I am doing is actually best for all, thus I must remove all the chains connected to a pre-program so that I can be sure that I am clear in who and what I am re-creating myself as which is best for all life.



I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed ignorance to how reality really functions through accepting the mind as the pre-dominate factor of what makes me who I am, when this is only the idea of myself, not who I really am as life as this breathe - I realise that this ignorance is where I do not consider the consequence of how action and reaction, cause and effect creates what we allow as the reality we all share.



I forgive myself that I have not realised, seen and understood in every moment that I have been finding it acceptable that others may suffer by the effect I cause, prioritising my own self-interest while those that suffer, there situation will improve much faster If I act immediately to change to what is best for all without resistance and delay, and that the more I push myself through the resistance and delays, that this builds the muscle of myself as the physical awareness of life as myself where change to what is best for all will become faster and easier.





I forgive myself that I have not allowed myself to see, realise and understand in every breathe that writing myself to freedom actually, specifically means Righting myself to freedom in a tangible practical way.



I commit myself to accepting resistance to change when I walk change, as the way I will remove whatever I have accepted and allowed until it is removed completely and that the resistance will disappear once I have removed the pre-programmed idea of myself.



I commit myself to find every point of resistance to change that exists within me as that is really my blueprint to show what I still allow as the limited pre-programmed crystallised shard of myself.



I commit myself to living the realisation that I cannot allow ignorance, that I can never give up no matter what, till there is no more resistance to that which is best for all life.



I commit myself to investigate and find out how the mind becomes the psychical system so that I am prepared to never allow this atrocity to happen to any being that comes to this world ever again - i commit myself to understand how I have allowed myself to become an idea of life, in self-interest without any compassion for those that are less fortunate, and without the compassion to face the pain of the resistance I have to go through to remove all the systems of limitation that I have allowed myself to become which is not life.



I commit myself to not allowing myself to react in annoyance when someone is being indirect, is placing value on manners or someone else is suggesting I should accommodate that in another - I realise that we all are where we are in our process of life, thus it is always best for all to be clear hear as who I really am in self-honesty - so as and when I see my mind having thoughts come up in these moments, I stop and breathe, I do not allow myself to interact with any reactions that come up as I know that to do so would be the continued enslavement as the idea of myself in complete separation from the physical which I cannot allow - so I breathe and continue to do so until there is transcendence where no more reaction as thoughts, feelings and emotions come up.



I commit myself to living the realisation that writing myself to freedom actually means righting myself to life practically here.



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Marley Dawkins
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Re: Marleys Journey To Life

Postby Marley Dawkins » 17 Feb 2019, 19:46

https://equalityonenessonearth.blogspot ... -this.html

So recently there has been some points that I have allowed to cause me to experience the emotion of loneliness and to become apathetic about my process of birthing myself as life from the physical as equality and oneness as whats best for all life.



It is fascinating how the pre-programmed mind that I have existed as and developed myself as in this world as ego / the world system of money can take revenge on us so quickly if we are not clear in our standing here as the actualisation of what is best for all life.



So my mother, who has for most of my life dealt with multiple medical issues, had a medical emergency this past week and while being sad and concerned initially is understandable when family/friends need medical attention - immediately my pre-programmed mind was spewing up all kinds of thoughts and emotions.



These thoughts and emotions were all based around this idea of "oh this makes sense, she is going to die soon - then I will have no family left, I will be alone." I have for a very long time growing up experienced myself as alone, there are many factors as to why this is.



One for instance is having the smallest family of my school friends growing up - where I would compare my family to my friends and see that they would all have many more family members then my family and thus I would go into and define myself as alone from my friends from this perspective.



My family always has had some strange events in its history as well, which again added more layers to this loneliness.



Then I would often experience myself as alone within my family because while my mother and grandfather have been my family, as the only family member of ethnicity, I would experience myself as alone within the family.



My father was never involved in my life apart from some brief moments in my first few years, which again would feed into and ad layers to this experience of being alone.



Being my mothers carer growing up, when no man would help her consistently like me and none of my friends needed to look after any family members again would compound this loneliness.



Then my mother and my grandfather, while they had relationships in the past, most of my life had no life partner and would often define themselves as being able to get everything done by themselves, which caused me to believe that I do not require anybody's help and in fact I am supposed to be alone and always do things myself because that is the "Dawkins family way".



All these points for instance is where I have defined myself as the mind as someone who is and always will be alone - therefore I live in a house by myself, I try to so much on a day to day basis by myself and I while I do interact with others, most of my time is spent by myself.



I see how through the years I have often used alcohol and smoking weed to alleviate, suppress and avoid taking self-responsibility for removing this loneliness that only serves to limit me - you know that when you drink more alcohol and smoke more when you are on your own, then when you are with others that you have an extensive problem of loneliness.



I see this all is also a predominate factor for instance in why I do not have a stable relationship with a life partner, where my mind will imagine and project about about a great life with a partner, without ever effectively removing the pre-programmed patterns that cause me to not interact with people in a physically effective way and to then push away people to match this idea of myself, this self-definition as the lone wolf who is sad about, yet at the same time in love with his loneliness.



Yet also due to my families history which has been rife with conspiracies, and things that many people cannot believe, and my own life history which has been rife with criminality in younger years and more conspiracies in older years as well as being part of enigmatic/powerful groups like Desteni and my open honesty about all these things - this has also factored into many potential partners going into fear understandably and not wanting to commit with me.



I see how my honesty about these things though, again my ego has used as a tool to push people away, when in reality being overly honest about things that sound very crazy to majority in society is not supportive to the development of interaction with people and potential partners - I see, realise and understand more and more as I walk my process, that the only honesty that matters is self-honesty, because the system version of honesty that we have all been brought up to believe is something beneficial, is actually destructive in nature to the living of what is best for all life.



For example - If you see a poor person steal some bread from the shop, the ego will direct you to be "honest" and tell the security guard who will then grab the poor person and call the police, causing nothing but grief for that person living in poverty. Yet if one is self-honest in this situation, then you can place yourself in the shoes of the poor person, realising that we have all accepted a world where most do not have and thus have no choice but to fall into criminality - therefore what would be best for all, is to not tell the security guard that the poor person is stealing bread, because when you have no money, you have no choice to participate in the system legally with money.



Amazing also within this that when money is involved during interactions with a person, then all of a sudden I I want to interact as money as this world system shows enables me to continue my existence as the ego as this lonely being with money in self-interest, instead of having a starting point of producing money through business to create what is best for all life here - I see within this how I have accepted myself to be defined/enslaved as the creation as the mind of energy and the world system of money.



As I was in my front room late at night just yesterday existing as this loneliness I watched a film which allowed me to realise how I am fucking myself within this loneliness. The film is called - "I think we are alone now." which I can definitely suggest for anyone who like me has had extensive problems with loneliness. I will not spoil the story, but ultimately it shows how when you are trapped as the ego as this loneliness in self-interest, you can only do so much beneficial actions because you remain limited, ineffective in living whats best for all in every moment and you eventually must take self-responsibility for the consequence of this loneliness and to live whats best for all life, you will need to stand up, let this loneliness go, not allow your ego to control your decisions and re-create yourself as a being living what is best for all life first, where real physical communication and unconditional support of another will emerge.



I have made many strides to get to where I am now, where I do physically interact with and support many beings in this world unconditionally, for example animals, work mates, my mother most of which would say I am a happy and supportive person, yet most likely do not know the levels of loneliness I have allowed myself to exist as for so long.



Then when events like what happened to my mother this week occur, then the old thoughts, memories of loneliness come back up, accumulate and then my living as whats best for all becomes ineffective, erratic, where it becomes more of a "I have to do this" like a job to live whats best for all and my application is lazy and apathetic.



We are all alone to walk this life, to walk our journey to life, yet we are all - one in this as the group where our collective intent creates that which exists here as the world we all share.



I see how as this loneliness I am accepting an energy system as me, as a pre-programmed mind of conscious, sub conscious and unconscious thoughts, feelings and emotions, where I keep myself pre-occupied in the conscious to not see the consequence of my acceptances as me as this existence of abuse, the sub-conscious where I prepare/create personalities to continue my conscious pre-occupations and the unconscious where I store/layer real experiences/realisations of myself and what I have been as consequence I keep manifesting for myself as myself and this world to not deal with what I have become - which is designed in the exact same way as the world system of money where the conscious is the elite preoccupied with everything money can buy, the subconscious being the middle class who work to maintain the elite/conscious and the unconscious as the consequence of the money system as those existing in poverty/starvation that is suppressed, kept in the dark, on the outskirts of the money system to be ignored on a daily basis.



So walk with me to end this loneliness -



I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to react as the emotion of loneliness when my mother was taken into hospital recently - I realise that while initial concern and sadness make sense, what does not make sense is then becoming trapped as a pre-programmed emotion of loneliness - I see how this event has brought forward everything I have suppressed as the ego as the idea of myself as who I have allowed myself to be and become in this world, which is limited only existent in my pre-programmed mind and thus not real and thus not valid to continue.



I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to define myself as someone who is "supposed to be alone" growing up and then not dealing with this emotion effectively where the consequence of suppressing this emotion rears its head when someone close to me is in danger of disappearing from my life.



I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to suppress dealing with this loneliness and deceive myself that I have "already dealt with it" when any form of pre-programming does not magically disappear after a few self-forgiveness statements years ago, it will always takes years of continued, disciplined investigation, forgiving of myself and self-honest corrective application as breathe.



I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to allow the thought that "it makes sense that my mum might die soon and I will be alone" I see how this is a thought that I have allowed for far too many years to rear its head at various moments and how it only keeps me limited in separation as the idea of myself as "supposed to be alone".




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