https://equalityonenessonearth.blogspot ... -late.html
While I was doing some writing earlier today I had a film that i've seen before in the background, as I often do. This was the film Watchmen, which if you like a superhero film you will likely enjoy this one.
At one point in a pause from writing, the film was going through a scene where John or Dr Manhattan one of the superheroes in the film, goes through an explanation of time highlighting how we humans are always too late to avoid calamity and that time itself is perhaps not real.
I smirked in agreement at this scene just as I did the first time I saw the film, because just yesterday I had a moment that I have repeated many times in life where I was too late for something.
When you arrange a meeting in life, be that a business meeting or an event of some kind - if you are invited and you agree to the invite, then from that point on there is only a few things that can cause you to miss the event or meeting -
* You have a family emergency that causes to have to cancel attending the meeting/event.
* You agree to go, but in the days and hours before the event/meeting you give in to some reaction of fear about some part of the event/meeting, accepting this fear and using it as an excuse to not go.
* Or you are too late to attend due to your fear causing you to procrastinate beforehand, or your own inability to manage time and always be too late, or a combination of the two.
Funny how superheroes in films are always on time to save the day, but in reality we humans are flawed with our scheduling.
I myself was invited to an event yesterday, which I had agreed to attend weeks before. I was given a free ticket and I knew the event would be pretty upper class and with random celebrities attending.
A friend of mine was even one of the DJs for the event, and I had another friend who was going to come with me to the event also.
On the day I knew full well that the event started at 1pm and went on till around 1am. I was planning in my mind to get my schedule done for the day, then turn up at the event around 10pm for the last few hours.
Then as I go through the day, I notice the time is around 9pm so I start getting ready in a lethargic manner, but as I'm ready to leave at around 9.45 I pick up the tickets and read the words "last entry at 8pm".
I laughed at myself in the moment, knowing full well that I would not get there till at least 10.15 now, and even though I still could have possibly gotten in via my DJ friend, I was disappointed with myself, with my not reading the entry parameters of my attendance for an exclusive event, even though I could have read the tickets in the days before more effectively, as they were literally just sitting on my window ledge for weeks.
Then I was disappointed at my own inability to plan my time better to have had my own schedule done much earlier in the day - I could have for instance woke up earlier, moved more efficiently through my own tasks.
I always get annoyed with myself when I miss an event/meeting that I have agreed to attend due to my own pattern of lateness, because I know that I will never know what connection with what person I could have developed at that event.
I notice this pattern that tends to come up very often for years at various points in my life and its always around some kind of meeting/event/business/work - where I need to be somewhere at a specific time.
Most of the time my planning of time is fine, but then sometimes in the lead up to some kind of meeting/event, I will shift into this slowed down type of character, believing I have more time then what I do, wasting time and not paying attention to time in the hours, minutes and seconds before the event/meeting.
What is this pattern of lateness we humans struggle so much with? Late for our Job, late for meeting a friend, late for the event, late for meeting our family, late for watering the plants, late for feeding the animals, late for paying our bills, late for pursuing our passions, late for changing our behaviours, late for showing each other we care, too late to stop the next child in the world from starving to death, late in living what's best for all life, too late in saving our species perhaps. We live in a fucked up world of lateness.
Lets stop these patterns of lateness before it really is too late -
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to exist as a pattern of lateness whenever I have to get somewhere for a meeting/event/work, where I will sometimes be late due to ineffectively timing my schedule in the days and hours leading up to the event/meeting.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to define myself as late, that I am someone who is just late sometimes, accepting the limitation that comes with it instead of taking self-responsibility to walk out this pattern through self-forgiveness and self-corrective application of breathing.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that I am allowed to be late, as if my schedule should supersede the schedule of all others, which I realise is where I exist as ego looking out for itself first, making its own laws of time, ignoring the real physical time here in complete separation instead of living here as the real physical laws of time that we all are subject to.
I forgive myself that I accept and allow myself to at times during my days will dwell on certain points, where I am not effectively calculating how many breaths in space time I am actually spending on something.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to disregard time, as if i am above time, when in reality I am tied to time, tie-me as this money system proving that time is money. I require money to exist in this reality, therefore I am subject to time.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to always believe I have more time then I actually do, when this world and the human acceptance of the accelerating horrors that exist within it show us all that time is always against us.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to procrastinate on things when it suits me, when my mind is trying to avoid facing something.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not realise in every breath that the only time it is valid to be late for anything is if there is a family or life mergency of some kind - there is no fear or pattern of lateness that is acceptable in missing any event/meeting that you agree to attend.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to be dishonest with myself about wanting to go to this event, saying to others I wanted to come agreeing to come, when In reality I did not want to go at all, yet I was trying to convince myself and others that I did want to go.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to be late for work.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to be late at entering my sons life.
I forgive myself for being late to feed my animals or plants sometimes, due to over complicating myself and purposely distracting myself from my set tasks.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to late at changing a pattern once I locate it through my self-writing, as the ego I have existed as for so long tries to hold on to the idea of myself that has been built, tries to hold onto the energy addiction derived from eth acceptance of the pattern, instead of living here as this breath immediately once I locate a patterns origin and grounding out the pattern through self-forgiveness and breathing immediately which is best for all life.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to believe that time is not real.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to justify my lateness and its limitations due to this idea of time not being real.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to refuse to always see the importance of time because of the perspective that it is "not real" when in terms of this universe, past lifetimes and the nature of existence, yes one could say time does not exist in a way - but in this world system we all accept on Earth, everything is timed, everything is a matter of time from the cooking we do in our kitchen, to our work patterns, to the revolutions of Earth around the Sun it's all done in a certain time-frame.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fail to see that if I do not stop my pattern of lateness, then It will always be too late for me, too late for humanity which I am not willing to accept for myself and humanity.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to be disappointed and annoyed with myself for not attending the event, when It was clear leading up to the event that I was not effectively preparing myself due to this lateness character, which will only repeat again unless i stand up and change.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to refuse to see that overcomplication breeds lateness, while simplicity breeds good timing.
I forgive myself that I have not accepted and allowed myself to realise that lateness does not support me in living what's best for all life in anyway, while good timing always does - as cooking for example and many things in life prove this.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not understand in every breath that once I accept lateness in one area, it does not stay localised, it will inevitably seep into all areas of my life.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to react in fear about an event/meeting, that I won't like it or some part of it unconsciously, so then my physical body will purposely go slow through my schedule in the lead up to the event/meeting, to purposely be late without my own conscious awareness so to speak.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to hold onto memories of the ideas I learnt growing up in movies and in my environment that one can be "fashionably late" taking that point on as myself, as if it is cool to be late.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to be addicted to the energy from the coolness of being late in complete separation of myself.
I forgive myself for not allowing and accepting myself to see that whenever I am late for any event or meeting, it only makes me look like I don't care, It shows a lack of respect for the event or person im meeting, which could even offend the person/event organisers - being late only ever detriments me in reality despite what my pre-programmed mind thinks.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to hold onto memories of my grandad talking about time not being what humans think it is, referring to various Scientists, sometimes confusing me, adding layers to the idea in my mind that time is meaningless and thus lateness doesn't matter.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to at times react to the plight of those starving, those being raped and harmed in wars, and to take the perspective of John in The Watchmen where I accept it is too late for humanity, using it as an excuse to not move effectively to push myself to self-honestly change which is unacceptable.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to rarely be late when I am desiring something I want from the specific meeting/event, yet to often be late when I know I will have to work for something I don't want, or pay for something I wouldn't usually buy when I get there.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fail to see, that my lateness is directly connected to my egos "free choice" where through living as the ego I trap myself to "choose" to become lateness or not dependent on how my ego feels about the event/meeting.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to refuse to see that the aging process proves the existence of time, proves that time is a real force that affects us all in real space time, thus accepting a character of lateness is unacceptable because we all have a very limited amount of time here in this body thus we must make the most of it.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to refuse to see that only the ego believes it can cheat time, cheat death, when in reality this is not possible for anybody.
I commit myself to not allowing myself to underestimate and abuse time as this lateness character.
I commit myself to not allowing myself to accept a character of lateness within and as me as it is counterproductive in living what is best for all life. So as and when I see myself having thoughts justifying or supporting lateness in someway, I stop and breath, I do not allow myself to interact with these thoughts as it only keeps me enslaved to them as this pattern of lateness - I continue to breathe until there is no more thoughts that come up.
I commit myself to living the realisation that no benefit can come from lateness in anyway, because myself and all humanity are bound to time, as we have such a short window of time here thus and must make the most of our lifetime here, not disregard time through lateness.
I commit myself to exposing wherever humanity wastes time, wherever we accept lateness, accept crashing to our end, I will show through my own re-designed living that lateness is a flawed point that has no place in our world when so much needs to be done - there is literally no time to waste.