Klavdija's Journey to Life (ENG)

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klavdija.h
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Re: Klavdija's Journey to Life (ENG)

Postby klavdija.h » 30 Dec 2017, 00:16

Blog: https://klavdijajourneytolife.blogspot. ... ove-2.html


Day 128: Love 2


And he told me that he can see us in relationship, but when I ask him to meet, he don't have time to do that. So, I became nervous and bad mood and almost cry, because I feel bed, because I think that I'm not enough good for him.


I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to almost cry because he told me that he see us in relationship, but he don't have time for meet. When and as I see myself to almost cry because him, I stop and breath. I realise that we have different perception in ours life and I'm that person who must wait and be in the moment and support him that he decide what he want in life. So, I commit myself that I don't push on him, but I support him if he want support from me, but if he don't want, I leave him alone.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to think that I'm not good enough for him, because he don't have time for me. When and as I see myself to think that I'm not good enough for him, I stop and breath. I realise that I can't know if I'm good enough for him or not in any way, but if he don't have time, he don't want be with me in relationship, only be friend with me. So, I commit myself to not tell myself if I'm good enough for other people or not, but I be myself and be the best I can be.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to look for other men and each men is cute for me. When and as I see myself to look for other men and each men is cut for me, I stop and breath. I realise that last time I look for men and a lot of men is cute for me and want be with them. the most is that is holiday time and I feel lonely because I'm alone, but I think that I'm not prepare for go in relationship with any men that I look on. So, I commit myself to when any man is cute for me, I stop, breath and look why is cute for me and how I feel in that moment and if I feel lonely and look for someone I must to know, that I don't need it.



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klavdija.h
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Re: Klavdija's Journey to Life (ENG)

Postby klavdija.h » 22 Jan 2018, 00:42

Blog: https://klavdijajourneytolife.blogspot. ... ed-up.html


Day 129: Feel locked-up

I don't feel from time to time good on my work and feel locked-up. I feel that my coworkers don't like me. And in one side I wish work a few months or years more, but in other side I don't want to work not a day anymore. So where is problem and what I really want.


I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to feel bad from time to time in my work because I'm slow, became tired soon and not good with other people for conversation. When and as I see myself to feel bad from time to time in my work, I stop and breath. I realise that I became tired because I don't have enough shape and because of this, I work too slow. But for that I don't understand with my coworkers I'm only guilty person, because I don't know what I want to do and look their approve and don't be sure in myself. So, I commit myself that again begin walk each day and if I decide to do something I don't look for other people approve.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to try be nice with all coworkers, but when I'm tired I do what is not best for all. When and as I see myself to try be nice with all coworkers, but when I'm tired I do what is not best for all, I stop and breath. I realise that I don't need be nice with coworker in way how I talk with them, but that I do what I must to do in the best way and in that way there is no person who don't like me, because they don't see me in other way than how I work and be with myself. I commit myself to do what I must to do, and if no one ask me I was in quiet and with myself.



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klavdija.h
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Re: Klavdija's Journey to Life (ENG)

Postby klavdija.h » 29 Jan 2018, 22:29

Blog: https://klavdijajourneytolife.blogspot. ... -body.html


Day 130: Connect with my body

Shooting with bow. You feel all muscles in back. But when you practice you must be in the moment, connect with body, breath, calm yourself. Practice of shooting is not only practice for shooting, but for your body and mind too. But first time I have big problem with shooting, because I do that first time and I hurt myself.


I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to scare that I hurt myself again. When and as I see myself to scare that I hurt myself again, I stop and breath. I realise that I hurt myself because I'm not in moment and I don't be careful on my body position and my arms, and when I be careful and be prepare it was better. I commit myself that I don't scare to hurt myself, because is more options that I do that.

I forgive myself that have accepted and allowed myself to scare how I hurt myself and not be carefully on my position of arm. When and as I see myself to scare how I hurt myself and not be carefully on my position of arm, I stop and breath. I realise that is more chance to hurt myself when I scare how I hurt myself and not be carefully on my body and arm position. And when in the end I learn how to shoot in correct way I don't have scare anymore and don't hurt myself anymore. I commit myself when I see myself to have scare to hurt myself I stop, breath and calm myself and take the bow in correct way, move my arm in correct angle and breath and shoot, with no any scare.



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klavdija.h
Posts: 311
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Re: Klavdija's Journey to Life (ENG)

Postby klavdija.h » 26 Feb 2018, 22:36

Blog: https://klavdijajourneytolife.blogspot. ... minds.html



Day 131: Illness an minds


I feel great and I don't notice that I have broken my imune sistem, but I have some illness that is in relation with bad imune sistem. So where is problem? All is in my mind. And all is in relation with my work. Because I hate my work, I work so much and they don't pay me enough for that kind of work. And since we have new coworker I must work harder than before and do his work. And I hate this.


I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to hate him because I must work faster than when I don't work with him, to do what he can't to do. When and as I see myself to hate him, I stop and breath. I realise that in beginning I work slowly too, but I try to work as fast as possible, but he don't, we don't see any change. And often we, work together and I must do for myself and him to be same fast than other side, because we must work together. I commit myself that when we work together I try do as fast as possible and be in the moment and breath.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to hate my work, because I work because of money, but they pay me so little for that kind of work. When and as I see myself to hate my work, I stop and breath. I realise that they give us the minimum of minimum because they don't have more money, they must pay taxes and other stuff and in the end we have only enough for survive. But I must be in other way happy for that, because a lot of people have less than me or they don't give them at all. But I must be happy for that I have, because I have and I can buy myself what I need. I commit myself to stop and breath when I begin thinking about paying and know that year ago I don't have any money.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to hate my work, because I must work so much and became tired in the end of the day. When and as I see myself to hate my work because I must work hard, I stop and breath. I realise that it's better be at home and work easily and what I like to do, but that kind of work don't bring any money. If I want money I must work hard. At home or at work. So, I commit myself that when I'm tired I breath and sit down as much as possible and sleep at home that I can survive and regenerate myself and work next day the same good that I must to do.



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klavdija.h
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Re: Klavdija's Journey to Life (ENG)

Postby klavdija.h » 27 Feb 2018, 22:23

Blog: https://klavdijajourneytolife.blogspot. ... nds-2.html



Day 132: Illness and minds 2

It't not so hart to work what I doing, but I'm not still fast enough, but I try and do fast as possible. But it't time when I was so fast and is time when I'm tired and I don't want work anymore and I want be with myself. Then I don't want to chat with anyone and if he ask me anything I ignore him.


I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to ignore him when he ask me when I'm tired. When and as I see myself to ignore him when he ask me when I'm tired, I stop and breath. I realise that I ignore him when I feel tired and I know that he must know what he ask me and know that if I told him anything or not, there is not difference for him. I was have a grandmother who has dementia and I was the person who steal her money. Yes, this is typically for sick people with this illness. And I told her, that I'm not steal her anything, but I was guilty and since there I don't want to argue with people who don't understand and don't listen me and ignore them. It is better than lost energy for them. But in beginning I don't know if person understand me or not, so I want to explain them. But next time I try ignore them. I commit myself that next time anyone ask me something I explain them once, and if they don't understand not lost my energy anymore, but not ignore them, but tell, that any other person can explain them.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to hate explain over and over the same stuff, but I see that I ask other people same over and over till I'm not sure. When and as I see myself to hate explain same stuff over and over, but see that I ask other people same stuff over and over, I stop and breath. I realise that I have what I do to other people, so I must firstly change myself and then I hate other people what they do. So, I commit myself that I ask only once if I don't understand, and if other people ask me first time I explain and then if they ask me more than 3 times I ignore them or tell them that they must to know since now.



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klavdija.h
Posts: 311
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Re: Klavdija's Journey to Life (ENG)

Postby klavdija.h » 29 Mar 2018, 23:54

Blog: https://klavdijajourneytolife.blogspot. ... eople.html


Day 133: Famous people


I meet person who are sportsman and I named him B. When I see him first time I told myself, that is ok and I must know him better and I am. He is nice and hard-working and see work. I told with him a few words. But there is problem in my head. B become cute for me and in one way I want be with him, but in other way is too young for me.


I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to think that person is cute for me, because have sexy body and muscles. When and as I see myself to think that person is cute for me, because have sexy body and muscles, I stop and breath. I realise that each person can have sexy body and muscles. But there is problem what is sexy body for me. I'm not in shape, so all other tipe of body that are more muscles than me is sexy. But when I see my body as sexy, then I see all body as sexy and I don't look only for sexy bodies and muscles. I commit myself that I see firstly myself as cute and then I don't need to look other people to see cute and sexy people.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to think that sportsmen and other well known people are more than me, because know them more people than myself. When and as I see myself to think that sportsmen and other well known people are more than me, because know them more people than myself, I stop and breath. I realise that each person is well known, and no one is better than me, because we are all people and we are the same. Is enough that I know only myself, because each person can know only itself enough. All other is only think that know other people. So, I commit myself to not look for other well known people and think that they are more than me, but I must see myself equal than them and I can talk with them like with other people.



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klavdija.h
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Re: Klavdija's Journey to Life (ENG)

Postby klavdija.h » 31 Mar 2018, 23:42

Blog: https://klavdijajourneytolife.blogspot. ... ple-1.html


Day 134: Famous people 1


Famous people are smart, rich and beautiful. And this is mine belief. But if you look closer is not real. Some famous people is not smart, but average, not rich at all and not beautiful, but they made all that other people think that they are. So I must to know, that famous people are the same people than me.


I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to think that famous people are smart, rich and beautiful. When and as I see myself to think that reach people are smart, rich and beautiful, I stop and breath. I realise that is not all in being smart, being rich and being beautiful. Most important is being person and being accessible to talk with other people. So, I commit myself that when I think that about famous people, I know, that they are only people too and they have pluses and minuses too.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to think that famous people are not accessible. When and as I see myself to think that famous people are not accessible, I stop and breath. I realise that in our country are famous people are the same like we and they talk with us and so on. How accessible are really famous people in other countries I don't know, but I think, that not so accessible because a lot of people want talk with them and only because it they don't want be in public alone. So, I commit myself that when think that famous people are not accessible think why they don't want be accessible and compare what I'll do in the same situation.



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klavdija.h
Posts: 311
Joined: 02 Mar 2015, 18:51

Re: Klavdija's Journey to Life (ENG)

Postby klavdija.h » 29 Apr 2018, 21:26

Blog: https://klavdijajourneytolife.blogspot. ... sport.html


Day 135: I'm not good in this sport

I'm not person who like sport, but I like shooting and because it I'm start this year with shooting with bow and yesterday I have first competition. We are in more groups and go through 14 different points, shoot and then go further. In each point we look how much point we shoot and write it down. In mine group are 4 more people and 3 of them are trainer, one mine and 2 from other clubs. They don't help me, but they told me, what to do next time in similar situations and what I must change. And all the time they told me that I'm good. But in the end I was only 11 of 13 competitors. And this was not good enough for me and I feel bad and stop with practice. But they have right. I was good if we look that I practice only 4 months once a week. And this time I shoot first time in long distance. But I do the most mistakes in short distance. So next time in practice I see what my trainer told me to do for improve myself. But their words, that I'm good made my ego big and when I see results I was disappointed.


I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to be disappointed because I think that I will be better in competition and men and women be separated and they give me a medal. When and as I see myself to be disappointed because I think that I will be better in competition and men and women be separated and they give me a medal, I top and breath. I realise that organiser made the rules and this is above all, so I must accepted this rules. What I think and what I wish is not matter. And because I think that that men and women separately receive medal I wish more. Then I was practice only 4 months and I can't competition with people who practice a few years or decades. So, I was the best that I can be. I commit myself that when I'm disappoint on myself I look in background and see how good or bad I really am and for now is more important that I enjoy in competition and not so much how good or bad I am.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to compare with her who shooting 3 years but went in competition only one round and I went two times and we have almost the same score. When and as I see myself to compare with her who shooting 3 years but went in competition only one round and I went two times and we have almost the same score, I stop and breath. I realise that this compare made me down, because my result was only 22 points better than hers and this was the worst for me. We are together in practice and she practice less than me, but she has more experiences than me, so is logic that she is better than me, but in other way I go 2 rounds and have only a few points more than she, so I'm not so good that I think that I am. But if trainer say, that I'm good for my experiences and how mush I practice, I must accepted his words and be proud on myself. I commit myself that I don't compare myself with other, because we have different experiences and this can't be comparative, so I'm one and only person and I must see only myself and how much I give in some results.



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klavdija.h
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Re: Klavdija's Journey to Life (ENG)

Postby klavdija.h » 30 Apr 2018, 23:39

Blog: https://klavdijajourneytolife.blogspot. ... ort-1.html


Day 136: I'm not good in this sport 1


I'm better than you, you're better than me. Compare with other people made the most reactions in us. When I don't compare with other, and they told me, that I'm good for how long I practice, I feel good, but when I forgot in their words and begin with compare, I become bad mood and I don't listen anyone what they want to tell me.


I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself that I'm angry on the people who told me that I'm good, but in the end I seen, that I'm in the end of list of all competitors. When and as I see myself to be angry on the people who told me that I'm good, but in the end I seen, that I'm in the end of list of all competitors. I realise that they told me, that I'm good in relation how long I practice and how much I know about this sport. All people who are better than me practice a few years, but I practice only a few months and this is big difference. I commit myself that I'm not angry on the people who give me a support in the way how good I am in my own situations without compare with other people only see how good or bad I am in this situation.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to feel bad in the end of competition, but all the time I feel good and enjoy in the competition and with people in my group. When and as I see myself to feel bad in the end of competition, but all the time I feel good and enjoy in the competition and with people in my group, I stop and breath. I realise that I enjoy when I don't see the results and after the end of competition I sit down and see, that I'm tired and my results are not good enough for any prize. But I must seen, that the best prize is that my coach was proud on me and other coach see potencial on me. So I must work as much I can and next time results will be better. I commit myself that results can't made me bad mood, because is this only because I think that I'm better that I am in real.



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klavdija.h
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Re: Klavdija's Journey to Life (ENG)

Postby klavdija.h » 30 May 2018, 12:21

Blog: https://klavdijajourneytolife.blogspot. ... death.html


Day 137: Fear of death


It was time when I want to die, but I scare kill myself. It's hurt. And this it's hurt is point that in real I scare to die. When I think to the die, I see my body lie on the table, naked and doctors made autopsy on them. In this moment I think that I'm not beautiful, and what they say about me and my body. And yes in other way I know that they see all kind of bodies in their life and some of them are old and not so good looking that I want to be mine body. So, when I think about autopsy I think about how fat I am, how not good looking and then I don't want to die. There is some tension in my body.


I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to have tension in my body when I think about death and autopsy. When and as I see myself to have tension in my body when I think about death and autopsy, I stop and breath. I realise that in the end each person die and me too. So, is better, that I accepted myself and my body, than I scare to die. No, I don't die in this moment, I want to live and work and being, but scare of die is not only scare of die, but much more. So, I commit myself that when I have tension in my body when I think about death and autopsy, I stop, breath and think that my body is mine and if I support my body I start like it and in the end I like my body.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not like my body. When and as I see myself to not like my body, I stop and breath. I realise, that this is my body, this is part of me and I must be proud on and on each part of it. When I like myself and my body, I can be myself at all. I must support myself and my body with exercise, food and right minds. Because my minds affected on my body. So, I commit myself that I sto and breath when I think about how I don't like my body and in that moment start support it with exercise, rest, food or something supportive.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to compare death with autopsy and being naked. When and as I see myself to compare death with autopsy and being naked, I stop and breath. I realise, that I can be naked in public, take naked photos, but being naked and death is not for me. Being death is the end, but if I take picture and send someone, that person can told me that how beautiful I am, because men don't tell me how ugly I am. So I need compliments from other people that I have beautiful body, because I don't see that. So, I commit myself to stop seeing together death and autopsy and realise, that my body is beautiful without compliments of other people.




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