Ruben Journey To Life

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Ruben
Posts: 2496
Joined: 13 Jun 2011, 20:05

Re: Ruben Journey To Life

Postby Ruben » 22 Jan 2019, 05:52

Day 111: I Think Therefore I Do? - Stopping Harmful Behaviours
I have seen that when I fall back on a pattern or behaviour that I want to change first I think about it, think about doing it and then I work myself up in anticipation towards the point where I end up doing the very thing that wanted to stop in the first place. So for example I think about doing A then I get excited about it and decide to do it.

The first thing that came up about it is, where is my self direction as stopping thoughts? I can get my imaginary 'tennis racket' and hit the thoughts as balls so to speak, and throw them out of my field, like saying 'hey, you don't get to play on my field' 'you are going out of here'.

Because it all starts with a thought, a thought can be a suggestion of action sometimes, where you think about doing A and then you are consumed by either excitation, desire, anticipation and everything that makes you tick about doing A.

I have a dog, just now while I was writing this previous lines she came to say hi, and it was a grounding moment for which I am thankful, and it made me realize that when I stop the thoughts about doing A for example, what I am doing is: I am getting back to reality, I decide to remain grounded and not go into the mind as illusions - because I know if I entertain the thoughts about A I am more likely going to fall and do A.

It can be A, B or C, any behaviour that I want to stop. It all starts with thoughts about A, B and C, where I work myself up into doing A, B or C.

So for instance lets say I want to stop smoking, I don't want to entertain thoughts about going to buy cigarettes, nor I want to entertain thoughts about smoking but as much as I can, I have to use my 'tennis racket' as my self directive will power to 'kick' 'throw' 'make the thought disappear' form the main field that is my mind.

Because what I allow to happen on my tennis field as my mind is what is most likely going to happen. Meaning if I entertain thoughts about let's say smoking for long enough, I am enticing myself, making my desire go higher, making me consume myself with want - all of this can be prevented by kicking off that thought off from my court that is my mind.

Once the thought is stopped, kicked off from my mind, then I have to move to do something physical like prepare myself something to eat if I am hungry, do a chore, move to do some task that I have pending - keep myself busy. Because an idle mind is dangerous. Most of the falls, most of the behaviours that I repeat that I would like to stop I do when I have days off and don't keep myself occupied. Because I let my mind wander about doing A, B or C and don't direct them when they are in thought form, then they develop as actions that I do - I become possessed by them by my own acceptance and allowance, where I could more easily stop them 'before hand' meaning 'while they are in the mind as thoughts'.

Back to basics, let's stop the seed as thought in the mind of the behaviours that we don't want to participate in, for them to not become the plant as actions. And remember to keep myself busy, because if I simply kick off or ban thoughts from my mind but keep idle, not busy, then I am giving space-time to do 'whatever' and if I don't have programmed what I will do with my time and have time to do 'whatever' then it is possible that I use that space-time to do behaviours A, B or C that I have thought about that are not supportive.

A solution then would be to carefully plan my days, specially my free days where I don't have to go to work - plan my play/entertainment time, my chores time, my tasks time - do a schedule so that I don't have time to do 'whatever' as then I am 'giving away' space-time as 'soil' that can be fertilized by 'seeds' as behaviours A, B or C that I don't want to do.

And many excuses may come in, like 'it is dull if I plan my day and have to follow a schedule' but the mind will try and find any and all excuses to get its way - which is really a test of self-will and self direction - The mind will find it dull whenever it doesn't get its way - but it is not dull per se, it is only dull because we used to feed energy to the mind, experience energy highs, whereas if I plan my day and don't have unallocated time to fall for A, B or C I am not feeding my mind and getting this energy highs, and I might feel dull - But it is because I am addicted in a way to the energy, to feeding the mind with A, B, and C.

Of course then there is work to be done about A, B, and C, where I have abdicated self-responsibility in participating in them in the past as I get energy from participating in them in separation from myself. So a practical thing to do would be to dedicate a little bit of time every day, allocate time into investigating, forgiving and letting go of the points A, B and C that may appear in my mind as behaviours that I see are not best for me and for All. This way I am directing the points A, B and C to make sure that I don't repeat them.

With this planning, with planning my days and making sure each day I work on points A, B or C - and any other that may arise in my mind that is not supportive of me - then I will start living and will start giving less and less power to the mind.

That is the beginning of self-direction instead of undirected mind-living that leads into harmful behaviours for self most of the time.

First stop the thoughts, then keep myself busy AND direct the points as thoughts each day a little bit - so that over time I don't get that many thoughts of A, B or C - so they start to fade away as I work with and through them to see where I have separated me from myself. Because points A, B and C are showing me where I have separated me from myself. It is not to suppress them but to simply stop them in their tracks and say 'hey Yes I notice you!, I won't act on You thought but I will work on Why and How you exist as you are showing me a part of myself I have separated me from myself'

And so as Lao Tzu said, Stop Thinking and End your Problems.



Ruben
Posts: 2496
Joined: 13 Jun 2011, 20:05

Re: Ruben Journey To Life

Postby Ruben » 24 Jan 2019, 12:11

Day 113: Why You Don't Want to Miss Ou ... Unlimited

It's January of 2019 and I want to share with you news about something that can substantially support yourself in your process of change. It is EQAFE Unlimited. EQAFE stands for Every Question Answered for Everyone. And Unlimited stands for that - no-limits access.

Back when the interdimensional portal opened in the early 2000's there was a Youtube Channel called Desteni Productions - and this is how I got to know of Desteni - where all new interviews about every subject you can think of from the History of Mankind to interviews with beings with Earth history such as Marilyn Monroe or Kurt Cobain to name a few, to that of Aliens and Reptilians, Reincarnation and the Afterlife, and many more were uploaded daily. So much material was available. Until Youtube decided unilaterally to close the channel. It looked like the system didn't want the word to be spread - so a solution was implemented in the form of the EQAFE Store website - where you could buy recordings and in this way support yourself and the message.

When the EQAFE online store opened I did not get the point entirely - and bought a bunch of recordings, some even in chinese, to support the message - lol - I was missing the point which was to choose some interviews that you see would support you, that talk about a topic that you might be interested in or want to know more about or about an issue you are dealing with.

Now more than 10 years have passed and the EQAFE Store counts with more than 4000+ interviews.

I visited the Farm back in 2009 and saw how daily there were recordings done where you could sit and watch as the being came through the portal and shared about a point - it was fascinating to see - real-time no preparation, no script, simply on-the-moment expression of beings. I sat at Atlanteans interviews, What is Sex? Interviews and many more as every morning there would be about 4 if I remember well interviews done. So to catch up with EQAFE - You can't possibly catch up with EQAFE if you don't listen to it every day for a few hours and even then you can spend years to cover the whole library - but that's not the point. The point is to choose a topic you want to support yourself with or you want to know more about.

What is so cool about EQAFE Unlimited? Previously when you bought a product at EQAFE lets say one interview of a series, you had to download the audio and listen to it - paying the price tag - So every month I could spend a limited amount of money and listen to a limited amount of interviews. So when I was on Facebook scrolling down my feed sometimes I found interviews shared that were interesting - new interviews that back then I couldn't sometimes afford. Realize that this way had to be implemented in order to support the message as beings at the Farm have to live, make a living otherwise the couldn't possibly spread the message, work on the recordings and do the courses such as DIP Lite, DIP Pro, Agreement Course and other projects that they work on all within the principles of doing what is Best for All.



EQAFE Unlimited has changed that into now being able to, for a modest and very reasonable monthly fee, have access to ALL interviews where you can Stream them online - no need to download them. So it is very convenient. So it is the Netflix of Existence.

Now I can have 'EQAFE walks' - where I go to walk my dog and listen to one interview or two - they are about 20-30 minutes long but it varies, and I am really enjoying and am grateful for the support. There are also books and music.

EQAFE interviews have supported me to become a more functional human being, I know how to release stress more easily, how to approach situations with other human beings better, know more about how reality works, learn about other human beings life's mistakes and what to do instead of making the same mistakes as them, in short they are Life Lessons.

Where in the world do you find that? Nowhere. And the price really for what it is, if I had a magazine of the Best Deals You Can Find Online - EQAFE Unlimited would be the best Bang for the Buck - the Best Deal, not of the year but of the History of Existence. Because you can get to know How Did We Came Here, How Come Are We Here, about Death Research, about Animals, about Money, about Reincarnation - virtually you become an empowered human being through listening to EQAFE recordings.

Food-for-thought: Any philosopher throughout history that is reasonable and wants to really KNOW and KNOW-HOW would, upon understanding what EQAFE Unimilted represents, join immediately.

No one told you before what you will learn with EQAFE, and now you have Unlimited so you don't have an excuse not to empower and Self-Perfect yourself on All levels, from relationships to how to 'satiate your curiosity about anything in existence'.

I got to meet Bernard Poolman, when I visited the farm back in 2009 for about a week - yes it seemed short to me too - many of you didn't get the chance - but for this month only - Early Bird Catches the Worm - if you Join this month of January 2019, you get to be in a Closed Group where Never Before Released interviews - or interviews that where wiped off internet when the Desteni Productions channel was cosed about 2009 - of Bernard Poolman are published Weekly.

Bernard Poolman gives no-nonsense perspectives about everything - awesome suppoort it is like Life Talking and not many can stand his straight common sense perspectives and really is mind-shaterring in a good way.

You also get other perks for joining this month of January 2019 as part of the launch offer.

Have a look at EQAFE.com

Being involved with EQAFE - and now EQAFE Unlimited - has been a life-changing decision for me.



Ruben
Posts: 2496
Joined: 13 Jun 2011, 20:05

Re: Ruben Journey To Life

Postby Ruben » 26 Jan 2019, 13:05

Day 113: What Do I Really Want

What do I really want. Not what others want me to do. Not what society wants me to do - but what do I really want.

I like the whole family thing, it is great. For this one of the ways to get it is some formation. See, I have gone through many formative years yet I lack university yet.

Today I have gone to university, to have lunch with my mother there as she studies next to it. I have already started university many times so I know the teachers there. I saw two of my teachers and immediately inside of myself I went into blame - because I have not yet passed his subject - blame as if it is too difficult.

But who am I blaming really? I am blaming myself for not putting in the work in the past to do the subject properly - and to not get help if needed.

So if I want the whole family thing and I see studying at university is a way for me to make a living for myself, to make something of myself - then I choose to do it. There might be other ways, maybe university is not needed to have a family life but I would like to have a career as well as that, and a career that I like.

See, I have yet the chance to do it. I live with my brother who is studying engineering as well, he can help me out. I have available a great out-of-uni teacher who is able to help me out as well with maths.

I have seen that I was blaming my teachers for not having the life that I want but it is really me who has not created yet the life that I want.

And see I am 28, let's look at how many years one can work, up to about when you are 70, and you start working when? When you are about 20 -- so I am in year 8 of my productive career - I have yet another 48 years to go.

If I decide to study now I might end studying when I am 32 - or decide to study two extra years and end when I would be 34 - does it matter? No. Different people do different things at different times.

I was watching the videoclip of the song Melody by James Blunt, it shows the life of a young lad that goes to highschool - it made me want it to be my son that I give the opportunity to study somewhere cool - that he gets to have a good life if not better than the one I had.

So in life it is about taking opportunities. I have a great opportunity to go to university next year and I will make the most of it.

Thank you



Ruben
Posts: 2496
Joined: 13 Jun 2011, 20:05

Re: Ruben Journey To Life

Postby Ruben » 27 Jan 2019, 21:06

Day 114: What Can I Say About Sharing Desteni 10 Years Later

Back in 2007-2008 I learned of Desteni and started to apply the tools. Back then I feared being outcasted, being rejected for sharing about Desteni. Now more than ten years have passed and I can say that:

- I have not been rejected from anywhere for supporting Desteni

- The beings that I met online mostly and some when I visited the farm, those that are still standing are a great support and are 'with me' in a way, we are walking together - so I have found who is really 'cool' and who is not in seeing who is walking their process - and I know that when they share about their process/about points.

- All that was holding me back from sharing more in blogs and vlogs was not real - in fact if someone is not speaking to me for what I share - I am not interested in speaking to them either so to speak - because why bother with someone that wants to keep the world as it currently is along with self? That in itself is self interest and downright evil.

- Desteni can be a filter - where if I share more about it - some people may not come into my life, where others may come that are interested in self change and world change - so all is well because who is interested in someone that is not interested in self change and world change? And I am not saying that they need to apply exactly what Desteni says, but people that are in 'growing mode' - those are the ones you want to look out for.

- I have to share my process of change - so others can see and walk with - otherwise what is so great about change if you don't let others know how to change?

- Blogging is a great way to support myself and expand myself.

- I have seen that Vlogging is a great way to share and connect too.

- I have to give back, meaning, all the support I have received to change, I have to give back by sharing how I have do it to change, so others can do it.

- No need to fear: No one has had the temper to tell me to my face that they don't like what I do, only my mother, only to tell me later that she likes my blogs.

- You won't be marginalized for speaking up and sharing about your process - some may fear you are in a kind of cult but this is only a hate-tag and talks more about the person that is putting the tag, as it is not investigating what Desteni is all about, than it tells about Desteni.

- Summing up - I have known of Desteni for over a decade - the message is still the same, it has not let me down, it has not given up or given in - it is still standing strong - but we cannot rely on 'others' to do the work' each one should give back as he/she has recieved - and this can be done through doing Blogs and Vlogs.

Cheers



Ruben
Posts: 2496
Joined: 13 Jun 2011, 20:05

Re: Ruben Journey To Life

Postby Ruben » 28 Jan 2019, 14:49

Day 115: What Can Happen in 10 Years Time

Tonight I had a dream. I could time-travel and communicate between now and 10 years prior so about when I got to know about Desteni in 2007. And I saw I have much to say about how time passes but I have to do something with Time - otherwise things do not move.

I have seen than on a personal level not much has changed, I could have changed more in the 10 years since I got to know of Desteni. So now I draw a parallel with 2030 - what would I say to myself now so that in 2030 I don't find myself where I am at now, where 10 years have passed since I got to know of Desteni but I see I could have changed so much more?

First of all, I would tell myself, in preparation for 2030, that I have to apply myself daily - where every day I work on myself towards self-change.

And I would tell everyone that only because time passes - things don't change. We have to be the change.

Now I understand more why there is a tendency to have depression at 30, 40, 50 years of age, because we see we could have done so much more and at times we see that not much has changed - at least that is my experience, in 10 years not much has changed on a personal level - but that is because of my own doing, because of ineffective application.

What is effective application then? That would be applying the tools of Desteni on a daily basis, working on points, transcending points, building on something in my life so that when time passes, so that I accumulate along with it.

So every day I accumulate a little bit for a bigger outcome. In doing Blogs, Vlogs, DIP, and practical application.

In my dream I also dreamt that I was playing with an excavator and as I was playing I provoked an avalanche that buried an hospital.

This I see this is talking about consequence - where time passes where I entertain myself with irrelevant stuff but really what I am doing creates a consequence, in the dream is in form of deaths.

But here on Earth deaths do happen daily because of lack of basic necessities being met, famine, starvation, wars, disease and so on - these are all things we have to solve together.

So in the dream I had resistance about warning people about what was coming, because I had 'blood in my hands'.

Yes, we all had 'blood in our hands' so long as we do not address the problems here on Earth - namely uplifting the lives of all that live in poverty for example.

So instead of living in regret and inaction I choose to apply myself, make myself count towards an outcome that is best for all, and that starts with self first.

So that in 2030 I don't live in regret but am satisfied with my own application.



Ruben
Posts: 2496
Joined: 13 Jun 2011, 20:05

Re: Ruben Journey To Life

Postby Ruben » 30 Jan 2019, 10:27

Day 116: Songs With Meaning

I had the honour to be involved with Desteni before Bernard Poolman passed away and he was very active on social media, doing blogs, giving likes, sharing on Facebook, doing recordings and spreading the message.

Here are two songs that he shared on Facebook (1) or gave a like to (2) both have messages in them. Have a listen!

1) - Demons by Imagine Dragons. This one he shared on Facebook. I still listen to the song every once in a while and it reminds me that I have to work on myself.




This songs talks about demons, I would relate it to when we allow ourselves to get 'possessed' by the mind and act in ways that are abusive. In the song the guy warns that he has these Demons in him - so watch out for your own demons!

2) - You're Gonna Go Far Kid by The Offspring. This one I shared on Facebook because I found it cool and he gave a 'like' to it - original videoclip he liked Here


You have to watch the original videoclip to get the whole message. In the videoclip you can see how a supernatural force gives a gift to someone that has nothing and is struggling, but he abuses her gift for his own gain - thus the gift is removed from him along with his life, as he is returned to dust. Draw your own conclusions!

Bonus song! When I was leaving the Farm after my short one-week visit, Bernard took me to the airport and this song was playing on the radio, he simply said 'what the fuck' - lol

Do you know any other songs he liked or reacted to? Do let me know please!



Ruben
Posts: 2496
Joined: 13 Jun 2011, 20:05

Re: Ruben Journey To Life

Postby Ruben » 30 Jan 2019, 10:29

Day 117: What Do You Live For

'so... what do you live for? Why do you get up in the mornings?'

Take a moment to see what comes up.

When I was asked this question by my DIP Buddy - I came up with the word 'work'. But upon reflection, I saw that I have not been waking up merely for work, this last month I have been waking up earlier to write a blog - and also to walk Laika the dog.

Then the following feedback was given:
----------------
'Blogs = self

Dog = unconditionality and expression/self-expression

To be more specific: Blogs = de-programing yourself as a process to birth yourself into and as life in the physical

So, you are doing and living for more than you give yourself credit for

So, when you walk Laika, really BE PRESENT with her, bond with her, get to know her

Live purpose into these 'small' things you do, because these things are not so small afterall'
----------------

Yes, blogging is an universe in itself and walking the dog, lol yes it is an adventure and it tells me much about me - for example if I become angry because of how she behaves -- it also tells me about parenting - the other day I did a suddent movement to see how Laika would react and she was scared by it, so I learned not to try and 'scare' her with sudden movements because she really gets scared - the same with children - we are like giants for them so don't have to do sudden scary movements to watch their reaction as they will most likely react in fear, not cool.

So I will live purpose in the things that I do because Yes, they are not so small after all.

Do you like what you see? If you want to have a Buddy with whom you walk your Desteni I Process , check out DIP Pro at DesteniIProcess.com

Thanks to Kim Kline for being an awesome buddy - You can ask for her to be your buddy too.



Ruben
Posts: 2496
Joined: 13 Jun 2011, 20:05

Re: Ruben Journey To Life

Postby Ruben » 01 Feb 2019, 13:08

Day 118: Consistency Is Key

I have noticed a steady amount of views in this blog, which is really cool! Now I have to give back by honouring those people - you - that read what I post - and I realize at the same time I am honouring myself - as equals.

I could go a day without writing but really - if I have the time - let's do a new entry and in this way support myself and possibly support others in the process.

The river flows - I can see a river from where I am writing - if I keep publishing we may end up somewhere cool. Like the rivers end at sea - if enough water is fed.

Today I would like to talk about consistency and what it means - consistency in breathing keeps me alive, consistency in eating do keep me alive as well. Everything worthwhile needs consistency. The heart beats consistently in every moment.

What is in the way of consistency for example in blogging? Mostly excuses. Excuses are the enemy of consistency. Excuses as to why I should not write today for example - any and all excuses I have put in the past, I have come to realize = Where not valid, as I have always come back to writing. So writing daily is the goal and anything I can put as an excuse is not valid.

One day I might not really have the space-time to write, but that might be one day in many many days that I really don't have the time. And for those days - I could have a blog entry saved because at days I have more than one blog that I can write so I can save up one blog for a day where I am really busy - so in this way the blog keeps updated to one entry a day.

Keep it practical - if I can write a blog I will write one - if I can't, well it is up to me to have some other saved for those occasions - and if I have nothing then I write the next day, it is not that big of a deal.

Consistent means that it is sustained over time, and I don't have to look at the future and see how much I have to write, but simply realize I have a day in front of me where I can find an allocation of time to write, only one entry, for only this day - this way I don't see it as a big task but simply one simple task that I have to accomplish in one day.

And let go of the past, if one day I have not written, not let it influence the next day, but take every day as a new day, fresh, where I don't look at the past or at the future but simply apply myself to the best of my ability to accomplish the goals that I have set for myself, that I choose to write because it supports myself and in the process might support others - which I think is magnificent and a responsibility as well.

Responsibility because all that I write is in a way what I will live so I have to choose my words carefully so that what I say is best for me and for all.

Sometimes the question of - will this blog be good enough? In relation to other blogs that I did that got a substantial amount of views - sometimes this question arise. But then I see it is not to publish for the views but share something relevant that I am dealing with or that I have realized.

I have to be consistent thus in who I am, not only consistent in writing - meaning not to change how I write because I get many views - but consistent in being true to who I really am and not try and be something different to get more views somehow.

It is like small stage-fright at moments when I see the amount of views I got and know that the next entry will get a similar amount of views. Yet I shall fear not as I should always write as if the whole existence is looking at me in a way - because always All is Known. Meaning I cannot hide and do as if my blogs are irrelevant, they are relevant for all that read them, I am responsible for how my blogs affect real people and even one person is most relevant, the same as if the whole of humanity is reading the post.

Thanks



Ruben
Posts: 2496
Joined: 13 Jun 2011, 20:05

Re: Ruben Journey To Life

Postby Ruben » 01 Feb 2019, 13:13

Day 119: Check Back To Reality

Another dream.

This time I have some money and am at home and interact with my family members in a very harsh/hostile way, I only want to go get a tattoo done of the EQAFE logo on my chest, two little loops one at each side of my collarbones - lol. I go literally flying towards the tattoo shop, but it is too windy to fly so I can't fly straight, so I decide to walk, but suddenly I have a motorbike underneath me and I can simply give some gas to drive the motorbike - it is my brothers motorbike. I go without a helmet - the police sees me and stops me. I do as if I simply forgot the helmet but later on I disclose that I also don't have the driving license - in the process I am talking with the police the motorbike starts falling apart, the registration plate had fallen a while ago and they found it so they know who I am, the motorbike's battery falls to the floor... I try to scape but am caught and put into jail, where I find a neighbour that does not seem to recognize me from the past - I say I will try to escape but it looks gloomy - the jail is packed.

What does it all mean? Part by part and this is a bit of a difficult post but very eye opening - why? Because it makes me realize I have a long way to go and very much to walk still. Because the EQAFE tattoo, that I want to have done in my dream means 'promoting a message' because I do the tattoo for everyone to see on my chest, two little EQAFE loops. While all the while I have not cleared my relationship with my family, I have not applied to an effective degree what the very message entails which is self-change.

The police catching me without a license is the system saying hey - you have not really applied yourself to become effective at living in the system either - and yes I do not yet have a driving license which is something Bernard Poolman asked me - he simply asked, do you have a driving license? And I said no. Nothing more was said but I knew that a driving license is something one has to work towards and that I am working on currently. And also I don't have yet a university degree.

The neighbour not recognizing me in jail, In my dream I get to know the answer, he does recognize me but does as if he does not - Why? Because he knows it won't make a difference, we are all locked in prison so no need to 'recognize' me for anything as I did not make a difference for them and ended up with them when I could have made a change.

This part of the neighbour is crucial - In the moment of death, do you think all others that are dead that you knew during your lifetime will come rushing in to cheer you up? If you didn't make a difference for this world? If you did not stand up for yourself in this one lifetime? And I am speaking for me here, I am the one that had the dream but I think this applies for everyone. - No, no one will come rushing in to tap me on the back unless I have made a difference in this world, because if I have not made a difference in this world, I would be fucked as all others, and why bother cheering up someone for helping ALL remain inside prison/in chains?


And who needs a tap on the back when one has helped to change the world? Sure I don't as I am satisfied with the world changed - where All can Live and Express Fully.



Ruben
Posts: 2496
Joined: 13 Jun 2011, 20:05

Re: Ruben Journey To Life

Postby Ruben » 02 Feb 2019, 05:33

Day 120: Source is Giving her All

Another night, another dream. This time I will save the details for myself - but the general line of the dream was, I was having an awesome dream involving flying and planes - really fun, like a treat-dream -- and I got to know that someone was creating these dreams I am having, they are designed by someone - so I went to meet this someone - it was not easy to find but finally found her - a female - and told her I would like to create a dream for others as well, I said 'about a friendly forest or frequencies, with colours and sound' something cool but really I did not know what to create frankly --

Suddenly I see that she is not standing but in a foetal position, she was almost dying waiting for me she said - and I told her 'in my defence' that as of late I have been behaving well, not giving into addictions and so on - but she did not see it as that great of an achievement, after all she was dying because I was delaying so much time to meet her. I saw in her a Dedication, an iron-clad Strength and Resolve to get what needs to be done done - unlike any other.

In this dream I think I met a representation of Life itself - pure - that does whatever it takes for Individuals to wake up and change.

I realise I have to have the same resolve in application meaning: To do Whatever it Takes, apply myself to the fullest in my application to change myself and this system we live in - after all Life on this planet is dying.

It may sound far-fetched but I have seen how really, I cannot simply stop what I don't like about myself but have to start growing what I do like about myself and my life.

Life is about creation not suppression. For example not giving into addictions is great - but one cannot stop there. If the possibility to push myself is here I have to push myself - to a point - to do more.

It is not to now push too hard to the point that I crash - no - it is simply to remind myself to use the moments where I can do more, to do more, simple as that.



It will arrive the moment when we can design awesome stuff, entertain ourselves about creating magical stuff like dreams maybe who knows - 'design your own dream and share it with others' - That would be interesting and I would like to do it as well. But now is not the moment. In my dream I didn't really know what to create exactly as a dream for others, I had what seemed to me vague ideas not concrete or practical.

If the dreams I am having as of late have been designed by someone they are doing an awesome job because the last three dreams I had have helped me to see that I can do much more and have to do much more with my life, that death is not the answer, but Life.

And finally today when I find within my dreams who is creating my dreams - I see someone that is dying but has a resolve and a drive to the point of not caring for it's own integrity - meaning that does not fear death - but pushes the points to a solution no matter what it takes, even its own integrity -- That's what I saw in my dream.

And that is what I am willing to do as well, give up this one life that I could spend in hedonism or thrill-seeking as I see it leads nowhere - give it up for a life dedicated to honouring Life in all forms.

No one is interested in having a 'nice moment' while the 'world is burning' - in reference to the 'fun' dreams.
It would mean I am like Nero singing while Rome burns - Instead I choose to be like Neo that questions the system to a point where he can change it. That R in the middle 'neRo' needs to be removed - exactly my first initial, Ruben - so I have to remove my old self and be born again into the physical just like the Matrix movie where Neo is unplugged from the machine and has to learn again to move his real body.

This does not mean I cannot live a fulfilling life, with nice moments and with people that I care about - no - it simply means that while I live my life I make sure I am taking care of All life.

Stay put, we are in for a journey, if my dream is true someone is designing our dreams and needs our help: Life itself. Does not sound far-fetched to me seeing how the world currently exists - or do you expect Life to be waiting for our own demise? No.




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