Ruben Journey To Life

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Re: Ruben Journey To Life

Postby Ruben » 08 Dec 2018, 10:32

Day 101: Invest in Those that Invest in You

Listen to your teachers, the Real Life teachers.

Ever had a teacher that believed in yourself? The teacher appears when the student is ready. Don't let pass the teachers that appear in you life, those that support you - Investigate how come they support you and invest back in them. By investing back in them I mean let them help you, do what they propose if it is cool for your life, give them your attention and put in the time to apply the solutions that they propose.

The teachers says and does, the student listens and does accordingly.

Listen to true teachers though, don't be misguided. A true teacher is him or her that has applied in their life what they teach, so you have the Living Proof that what they teach is real. If you want to learn success, if a successful individual is supporting you, get all the help from them that you can, this means apply what they have applied, realize you don't know many things and at some point you have to follow the guidelines that They have followed to arrive where they have arrived.

Never postpone. What I have told you is the recipe for success. If someone has it and has proven it in their life - do exactly as they did - to succeed as they did. Very Simple Stuff. The only trick is to identify who is really successful and who is not. I would suggest to look at their life, how they live and what they have achieved and achieve in their life.

Life hacks 101


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Re: Ruben Journey To Life

Postby Ruben » 08 Dec 2018, 10:33

Day 102: The Power of the Community

So today I had to give away my laptop to his rightful owner as it was not mine and he needed it back, so I was about to become laptopless for a while I thought - but I needed a pc to be able to write blogs. So I got into Facebook and asked my Facebook friends for help, and sure thing, more than one and two readily offered their help lending me not one but two laptops they offered me. Right now I am typing thanks to a friend. Thus the power of the community, where we help eachother to the degree that each can. I was laptopless and didn't have the money to buy one at the moment, as I am leaving the place I am living now for a new place, and it is expensive to move places where I live.

So this is a good reminder that we are not alone, that we can help eachoter, be kind to eachother, do unto another as we would like done unto ourselves. When I get back on my feet I will buy myself a laptop and return the laptop that has been given to me.

Whenever you feel like you are alone, remember this, you are not alone, there is people out there, friends that will help you out if you are also ready to help them. In my facbook post I didn't merely ask for a laptop, I offered many rewards for those that wanted to help me out, such as helping them clean their backyard, help clean their home, cut the grass, help them move homes if they are moving, or whatever else I could help them with. There were also more simple rewards like 'A simple thank you' or 'A hug' which were the rewards choosen by the individual that lent me this laptop I am writting on at the moment. Because he didn't NEED anything else, he didn't choose a more demanding reward. So in life it is all about Needs, who needs the most has to be given the most help. Who needs less, commonsensicaly thus, needs less help.

And so the more able have to help the less able, or the more fortunate have to help the less fortunate. Yes, I can say I have been unfortunate in having to move places and also in losing money this past month, where by negligence on my part I had money on me and lost it. I have learnt from this and will never carry more money than I need, but as they say, shit happens.

So this post is more a thank you to all that has helped me, with giving me a tool that everyone should have, a computer, so that I can walk my process and share my process in blogs as well as use computer software that I need.

Thank you

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Re: Ruben Journey To Life

Postby Ruben » 08 Dec 2018, 10:34

Day 103: Jumping to Relationships Too Fast?

The other day I met someone and I immediatlely wanted to have a relationship with her. Hey, that is jumping too fast to conclusions. First of all I don't know this invididual, her life or her mind. For me to desire such as thing I should know where the F I am putting myself into.

This happened to me before, go head over heels for someone and then not being in the best possible relationship for me and ultimately have things not working out and inevitably splittling.

I won't repeat the past. First I will get to know someone, then decide if I want to be in a relationship with her or not. So I will apply practically the phrase 'be careful what you wish for' as I don't know what a relationsip with that person involves.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that as long as I want to be with someone, then it is cool to be with that someone - without assessing compatibility first.

I forgive myself that I Have not accepted and allowed myself to see, realize and understand that I have to assess many things such as compatibility before embarking in a relationship with someone.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to want to be in a relationship with x before investigating if it is the best option for me by getting to know her first.

I forgive mysefl that I have accepted and allowed myself to want to have a relationship with x instead of accepting friendship first.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not see, realize and understand that wanting to go into a relaionship with another one from moment 0 is a mistake, as I don't know the person I am dealing with or her mind.

I forgive myself that I have acepted and allowed myself to be careless in what I wish for as in wanting a relationship with someone I don't know yet.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear being rejected by x the immediate moment I wanted to have a relationship with her, thus conditioning my interaction with her - instead of not desiring to have a relationship with her that would make the interaction easier.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to want x to accept me in a relationship and fear she won't do so instead of investigating if a relationsihp it is really worth it.

I commit myself to remind myself that I first have to get to know someone before deciding to have a relationship with her.

I commit myself to not jump to conlclusions too fast by wanting to be in a relationship with someone I just met.

I commit myself to not let the desire to have a relationship with someone cloud my judgement or my interaction with her.

I commit myself to let go of the desires of wanting to be with someone and instead look at practicality, is it worth it or not?


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Re: Ruben Journey To Life

Postby Ruben » 08 Dec 2018, 10:35

Day 104: Alcohol and Decisions

What would you do if you tried to keep your friend from driving his motorbike early in the morning of a sunday after a night out, you even tried to keep the keys of the motorbike away form his hands but he insisted, and ultimately got the bike keys and drove it anyway? What would you do and how would you feel if your friend died that day, after driving away drunk? Just like that.

First of all don't blame yourself - cry all you want but don't blame yourself. You tried to stop your friend from driving but there exist a point of self responsibility where you cannot decide for another - you can't tie someone up and decide he or she won't move from the same place until they are sober, you don't have that power, and specially when your friend is bigger and stronger than you, and a bit drunk, you can't play the game of hiding the keys for so long. Of course if you were to knew this would have happened you would have trown the keys of the motorbike into the river or far away - to completely avoid the situation for your friend - but you didn't know better. And next time a friend tries to drive drunk, you should indeed throw the keys to the river no matter what the friend says to you - but you didn't know better and your friend A, probably talked you into you giving him the keys of the motorbike with any and all excuses.

You didn't know better at the time, you did all you could, you already had the good intention of preventing him to drive but even though A might have been a bit drunk, or drunk - he had a point of self responsibility - meaning it was His Responsibility whatever happens to him in what he decides to do, to drive or not to drive in that drunk state. We are all Responsible for ourselves, even when we decide to do drugs or alcohol, we are always responsible. And maybe for all we know it was his time to go and he unconsciously took the decision to go away. Maybe it is for the best that he has parted ways - who knows, he is for sure not finished/dead/done he continued to new paths and know this he is very proud of you and for sure the last thing he would want is for you to carry the burden of his death on your back, first of all it is not a load, he simply changed positions, and second of all He decided it to be that way - by taking the motorbike when he didn't have to, his ticket to heaven - where he is safe and sound.

See, that morning I woke up early and went to the local festivities too, they were closing, it was 6 in the morning and it was about to become a new day, I asked the security guys at the concert place when the sun would go up because I wanted to know when the new day started because I had decided to stop smoking by then, and they told me at around 7 the day would be on. So I wanted patiently for 7 in the morning to come, and smoke some last cigarettes before stopping smoking. While I was at this, not only the day came but A went away. If A didn't go away you might probably never find out about this blog and about the existence of afterlife as I will share with you. And J, remember I would never play or share something I am not sure in this difficult situation you are going through. If I decided to share this with you is because I think it is the best I can do and because A would have liked you to know that he is indeed Fine and on his process in the dimensions. It will take a while for you to understand all the information probably, or maybe not, but know this - He is fine and You have no responsibility in his death - it was his decision.


Cheers and a hug

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Joined: 13 Jun 2011, 20:05

Re: Ruben Journey To Life

Postby Ruben » 08 Dec 2018, 10:36

Day 105: Climbing to the Top

It's been a month since I wrote here, I have changed places, new, better flat closer to work which is cool. I find it difficult now from not writing to again write but hey I will push through the resistance.

Two days ago I went indoor climbing and there were also aerials silk dancing classes there and I observed a young woman there, it is difficult to describe what I realized but it reminded me of a Black Mirror episode where beings can live in a mind world and experience them there even if they die or are ill in their physical body. So this young woman was there experiencing herself like, what up? What can be done here? And it reminded of my own potential, like telling myself, what's up? I am here in this reality and I can learn how it works and make the best of it - and improve it so all can live their fullest potential.

And the funny thing is that I know what to do. I don't know about this young woman maybe she feels lost or maybe not but myself I know what I have to do to improve myself and change myself to change my experience here.

So in a way I am privileged, so much so but I have to grasp it, take this potential and make it real. Through application, through living what I see that I can do.

And live it, apply myself everyday so that my mind doesn't take over and I let the days pass without applying myself because then I find it more difficult every time to apply myself and also I don't enjoy that, losing my days without purpose.

Also when indoor climbing I could climb some parts but some other parts I found difficult and couldn't do them, and the instructor told me it would be very boring if I could do them all the first time, which is true.

So one thing to remind myself is to do more activities such as indoor climbing, as going out of my comfort zone, doing other stuff than working or being home makes me realize stuff and face myself. In a way going to do indoor climbing the other day grounded me and made me come in contact with reality again, after a month where I have been slacking off and more distracted by everything that was going on in my life such as changing places.

Lessons learned: Do more activities. Put myself to write even if I resist doing it.


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Re: Ruben Journey To Life

Postby Ruben » 08 Dec 2018, 11:10

Day 106: Yes and No and Negotiation

Our life is programmed by yes and no, what we will accept and allow and what we will not accept and allow. At work, with our partner, with everything - what we will say yes to and what we will say no to determines our experience here. For example accepting bad conditions at work or not accepting them may do that the manager at work gives better work conditions. It is the same when educating children, what we say yes or no to determines what the children learns about the world.

At work I have seen how colleagues did not accept bad conditions and then the manager changed the conditions of their contract, so one has to say what one will accept and allow and what not and make change happen, instead of whining about poor conditions for example.

It all starts with determining for oneself what one will accept and allow and what not, what does one want and what doesn't. For this it is useful to write down the situation one is living and look at the possible outcomes, the possibilities and what can one ask for in situations such as employment.

It is clear that when one says yes to everything then others such as employers may abuse that situation, if one simply accepts all that is imposed then one may not like the position one ends up in.

So for example I would like my work conditions to be improved but if I don't insist on it in fear of being taken out for example then the conditions will not be improved.

So this is what I am going to do, write down what I want and what I don't want and see what is possible to be done. For example a good way of doing it is writing down what one wants in a piece of paper and burn it afterwards.

I have seen colleagues at work have their contracts improved because they simply did not allow bad contracting conditions - and they had their contracts improved. It makes me wonder what can I achieve if I take a stand too. I mean I have to stand up for myself, no one will do it for me. I know I am valuable for the company where I work and I have make myself count, make them value me with better work conditions. And forget about fear.

Every worker has to do it for themselves. Artists and footballers usually have a representative, someone who does the deals with the art buyers/employers and usually they are very hard/tough negotiators as that is their job. Unfortunately I don't have a representative for me but I can become my own negotiator/representative that negotiates my work conditions to the best possible.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear being fired if I negotiate my work conditions.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear having bad conditions imposed if I negotiate my work conditions

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear making my boss angry if I negotiate my working conditions

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that I have to please my boss always

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that if I make a hard stance on my working conditions my employers will become angry

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not stand up for myself in the face of my employers.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear not being promoted if I negotiate my work conditions.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear negotiating my work conditions

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear losing my job.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear not having money.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear not being able to pay rent and food.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear speaking up to my boss.

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Re: Ruben Journey To Life

Postby Ruben » 15 Jan 2019, 06:07

Day 107: Power Misused - My Dog Story

Excuses and more excuses not to write finally have come to an end, I will regularly post here for there are no excuses to not support self with the proven tools that there are available such as blogging.

Today I want to talk about power, feeling powerful. Lately I have been wanting to get a dog and I thought about it in terms of power, wanting to have power on the other side of the leash, not seeing, realizing and understanding that I myself can be the power, no need to externalize it for example in getting a dangerous so called dangerous type of breed dog.

It does not mean that I cannot get a big dog, but to get it only to feel powerful prowling the streets is quite a joke, I mean that's not what getting a dog is for. Yes a big dog can help protect yourself or your home in case of need but no need to look for a specific feeling when getting a dog.

I remember when I was rather little about six or so we had a German Shepherd at home and I was at the playground playing and some older girls wouldn't stop bothering me, so I went home and took the dog and went to the park again, looked for the girl that was bothering me, that was older than me, and set the dog/unleashed the dog on her with the attack command that eventhough he was not trained he understood - at that moment while I was taking de dog to the park I was feeling powerful, not so much when I was setting the dog on her that I might have felt like things were getting out of hand as the dog did bit the girl/teen and later I had trouble at home for that, but that is my story with dogs and power.

Later on the dog went on by itself to bite a young man and that was the end of the dog - meaning my parents had to put him down, and that was a big shock for me because I couldnt say my farewells, it was so sudden. So for wanting to have an ego trip I teached the dog the wrong things like it is okay to bite humans.

So I have been looking to get another German Shepherd but I have to be careful not to externalize 'power' ouside of myself into the dog and be really careful if I get this dog because this breed is known for biting as I have seen from experience, yes, German Shepherds do not shy away from biting - if the 'right' or let's say 'wrong' mindset is on the owner.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to set my German Shepherd dog to some teenage girl only because 'she was bothering me' and I was smaller than her thus apparently powerless

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to teach my dog to attack humans in my ignorance as a kid.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not see realize and understand the extent of the consequence of setting my dog to attack other human beings.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to misuse the potential of my dog by setting it onto another human being.

I forgive myself that I have not accepted and allowed myself to see, realize and understand the disproportion between being bothered by someone else and being attacked by a dog - where I did not put myself in the shoes of the bully that was bothering me and instead simply went on with the 'solution' of setting the dog on her - eventhough it was hugely disporportionate and harmful.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to want others to care for me and protect me instead of protecting myself.

Whenever I see I want someone or something external to protect me, I stop and I breathe. I realize I have and can protect myself by myself or 'tell the authorities' such as parents or police when in need and that I don't need to take the steps of setting a dog on anyone because I feel attacked as a kid for example. And thus I commit myself to not take the law by my own hand whenver I feel attacked.

Whenever I see that I want a dog in order to feel powerful, I stop and I breathe. I realize that I don't need something external to live the word powerful as I am all that exists. Thus I commit myself to investigate ways where I can live the word powerful.

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Re: Ruben Journey To Life

Postby Ruben » 16 Jan 2019, 11:43

Day 108: Nobody Gives a Fuck If You Are Poor - My Supermarket Story

Yesterday although I had food at home I wanted to go out to the supermarket to get some more supplies for dinner and for the week, I did not know if my credit card would be accepted as I think I have reached some limit but I wanted to try nevertheless. Now, I am not poor, I work and have a steady income, but so happens that I am waiting for my income that will come in this week and momentarely have run out of money, for a few short days. So I was at the supermaket queue and I told the supermarket employee I did not know if my credit card was going to be accepted and that I had no cash on me, so we tried, I had about 20 euros worth of groceries and when we tried, the credit card was declined. I thought to myself I would not be ashamed if the card wouldnt go through - so I simply asked the employee to try to remove a few items and try again, again the credit card was declined. This time I simply told the employee if he wanted me to help them put some stuff back on place, like the frozen items and refrigerated ones - and he said yes, so I put back the refrigerated food, said thank you to the guy and went home.

Now, let's analize what happens when you are poor: Nobody gives a fuck, nobody said anything or offered to help nor was a government help immediately ready to jump in when my credit card was declined - no - nothing happened, nobody gave a fuck, it was more a nuisance because food stuffs had to be put back to their place in the shelves, which I did it fast enough as there weren't many items.

Now, yesterday I was not a head of family, with kids and so on, wanting to do the weekly or monthly shopping for food because my refrigerator was empty, I simply wanted some more food as I didn't have exactly what I wanted at home although I had food. So when I came home I was able to prepare dinner for myself. But I imagine the same happening to a family with children when they have no food left and it breaks my heart. Capitalism is brutal, it does not care, it does not give a break to those that happen to not have money it simply won't give a break, the so called 'game' goes on wether you are doing fine - with money - or not - without money - and without money you are virtually screwed.

Although I said to myself I wasnt going to be ashamed, it is not pleasant to have to go through the 'I am not able to pay for my food I have to put it back' thing. As I left the store I forgot to get my shopping trolley that I had brought to put my groceries in, so I was not entirely 'calm' about the whole situation. When I got home I had to tell my brother what had happened, it is not cool, it is way better to when you go out to get food, come home with food.

Why are there security guards at the supermarket, sometimes you see them there doing nothing, well it is to descourage the desperate from getting the food that they need. So capitalism is so stupid that we give jobs such as security guards at supermarkets. It shouldn't be that way, food is a right.

When I was coming home from the supermaket I was thinking about all those that go through what I went through - so what happens when you know you can't afford to go to the supermarket? You suffer in silence at home? When you can't get food you understand what it means the word necessity. And also then why some might consider crime in order to get money. Because the system doesn't give a fuck if you don't have money, some can say 'ok you don't give a fuck about me, so I will take money from others I don't give a fuck about them either'. But the crime started in the first place from the way the system is designed. It is a crime not to have access to food. And from here, from necessity, many forms of crime stem. And if it is not crime it is compromising jobs, where one has to get low-paying jobs that are a form of modern slavery in order to get the money to get food and pay for your basic necessities.

All in all - the system is screwed, we are all screwed, we put ourselves thorugh a cruel game called capitalism in hopes that we will we the winner but when we start to lose then we realise its fundamental flaws, starting from having to pay for food - and not having food if you don't have money - think about it, if you don't have money you don't get to eat what you want.

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Re: Ruben Journey To Life

Postby Ruben » 17 Jan 2019, 10:32

Day 109: Scrolling Down Time - A Social Media Story

I have noticed how much time I can spend scrolling down facebook, minute after minute it piles up into half an hour then I move into something else to entertain myself on the internet and boom my time is gone, I have not created anything substantial with my time, only spent it looking at random stuff.

In fact I/we do not need much time to get things moving, meaning for example get a blog moving, doing an assignment for DIP, it only takes an average of 20 minutes a day, maybe more - but if every little time I have I spend 'scrolling down time' nothing gets ever done.

For example today I have planned to go on a trip with our dog to the river, I have to get ready in half an hour. I could spend this time scrolling down facebook and look post after post of mostly uninteresting stuff, random stuff, because usually what's interesting is at the top of the feed and then when you go further down the random stuff starts to appear - Or I can write a blog.

It's with decisions like these that we start to direct our lives - decisions to not waste time unnecessarliy. Yes it is cool to look at facebook for about 10-15 minutes if there is interesting stuff, but most of the time there is unteresting stuff that I don't even look into or click, or simply give a like and leave it at that - when it would be far more interesting to look for a interesting post on Facebook, open it, read it and really take something from it.

It is like we have so much to choose from when we look at social media that we or I get lost in the sea of information and never end up looking at one single post, for example open up a blog post and read through it - I would simply look at the post on Facebook for instance, give it a like, think how cool this post must be, and leave it at that.

This is a way of going through life as well, I can go looking at stuff superficially, or delve into the interesting stuff to really see and get to know it well to take something from it.

I will try a new approach with Facebook, when I go through the feed I will look for at least one post that I am interested in and read it through, not simply give it a like and that's it - no - because then I never get to recieve something from the author. It is like going through a library simply reading the titles of the books - and maybe their description - and saying to myself 'oh how cool this must be, lets move on and keep reading books titles' - instead of picking up a book that might be interesting and reading it through.

So let's stop being lost on a sea of information, sea of decisions, where nothing ever gets done - to move into getting real quality information/material - to be able at the end of my day to say that 'today I have looked into so and so and I have taken from it this and that' - because many days I finish my day not having taken anything interesting with me and it is a shame really, with all the cool posts that go on in Facebook with the many interesting Destonian and non-Destonian friends that I have.

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Re: Ruben Journey To Life

Postby Ruben » 18 Jan 2019, 13:12

Day 110: Taking Mistakes as Opportunities
Lately I have repeated a mistake that is recurring. Now I can either bang my head against the wall and learn nothing about it or take it as an opportunity to intorspect - look at what I have done, how has it unfolded and what I can do to prevent it from happening again.

I have the perfect example in front of me as this mistake that recently happened to study it - see what made it happen and all the intricacies of it - and from here forgive and let go.

It is not the end of the world when we fall again in a point, its in fact an opportunity because you have it fresh in your mind - to work with it.

Like a pain that tells us something, falling in a point is telling us something - where we have separated us from ourselves because everything that we do, how we act - tells us something about us.

So it is to take mistakes as opportunities - only death is something we cannot get back from - so while I am breathing I decide to take everything that I experience as opportunities for self change. Because if I have fallen again in a point it means it is not solved, it is telling me that 'hey - look at me - here there is something you have not yet solved otherwise I would not exist' and thus with unsolved points we fall. It is not an excuse to repeat things, meaning not looking at a point to have the excuse to fall again - that is not valid.

So a line has to be drawn, how many times do one needs to fall in a point in order to forgive and let go to never again repeat it? I suggest it is not needed to fall back at a point in order to address it but if it has happened that we have fallen we can either become despaired or seeing the common sense that becoming despaired is an excuse and a behaviour that is not directing the point - so becoming despaired is in fact an excuse to not look at the point to be able to repeat it in the future.

Thus I commit myself to look at the points that need to be addressed to not have the excuse that I did not look at or solve the point in order to repeat it in the future.

Know thyself too, meaning if I know I have a 'weak point' I have to put extra work on it and not think it will be magically solved - if I look at the past and look at this specific issue I have, I see I have repeated it many times so I have to put extra work, and if I don't I can easily fall back on the point.

And trick myself into not doing it, the same way that I have tricked me into repeating the mistakes - like use reverse psychology - use everything that I can to not repeat the mistake.

Also remember to be gentle with myself, not be too hard on myself, not think that all is done, that I am done because I have repeated a mistake - no - all these thoughts and behaviours are in fact supporting that I repeat the mistake in the future - the only way is as Lao Tzu put it 'Stop thinking and end your problems.'

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