job.

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tormod
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Re: job.

Post by tormod »

i dont know how to direct my self, or conduct, with writing. conduct through writing? is it possible?
i have manny working skils, i can paint, cook, i can gard children, i can do it all. its only the illutuion of time, and maybe distance in geography, that is preventing me. so since geography is mor or les irellevant, its the time. i have to work with.


so: backwards

i started working when i was 13. at farmhouse. doing farm chores, feeding milking and caring for cows calves and other animals.
i was caretaker for a disabled kid, when i was 18 or 19. we vent to amusement park, and stuff like that. when i was 21 i startet working for a construction company, entrepeneur. later i worked many years voulenter, with music festivals, and concert arrangements. since 2002 (aprixemently) i have only been working with self. that is not easy. for 20 somthing psykiatrist, i have explained, how i feel, abute myself, and surroundings, to 10 or something psykologists, i have tried explain the same, and written and painted my life journal and inn shame in codes and colores. in vain, in drug high and in disregard to life. i would by prostitues, i woul get into fights, and spread herpes, i tried, and it has taken me, 10 years .... to get rid of only a couple of them. i have resently quit alkohol, drugs and sigarets. a employe is interested in such paterns, and manners.


:roll:

(i have had 10 or 15 other jobs , in between)

now i as today i dont have work.

so, for me to explain why i dont have work, is like asking why is the lid on and not of the jar. i don not now, have a place to stay, and be safe. and if home, is not stabile or safe, then very litel is.


so, work ,meaning sceduled proses, and together with action and much demands, are sett to dedication, and suppose.

and job, meaning: continous, basic, supplying of action, that is ment to make will, money or dedication of force that could bee used as trade, or life form.


so, i want to : find work , and keep upp the job that life and dedication with equalety is.
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tormod
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Re: job.

Post by tormod »

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Lindsay
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Re: job.

Post by Lindsay »

tormod wrote:i dont know how to direct my self, or conduct, with writing. conduct through writing? is it possible?
First, you must look at your definition of 'conduct' to see for yourself how you are living this word, and from there you can look at whether or not this word is being practically lived - conduct is basically in relation to 'how one behaves' - so, if you're looking at 'how you behave' in your writing, and whether or not this is 'right' - suggest you simply let go of right/wrong and self-honestly assess for yourself how you are currently utilizing writing as a tool to support yourself.

Look at:

Am I supporting myself self-honestly within my writing?
Am I structuring my writing in a practical way wherein I am specifically laying out for myself what it is I am facing, clearly - self-forgiving myself in such a way where the points are actually being release, and placing self-corrective statements which are practically and realistic for me to live in this physical reality?
Am I utilizing/applying the guidelines which have been laid out for me throughout the forum and Desteni material which are showing the way in which one can practically assist/support oneself within their writing?


When you get clear on these questions for yourself, you can see for yourself if the way in which you are writing is effective/practical - and if not, make the necessary adjustments to support yourself in a way that is best.
tormod wrote:its only the illutuion of time, and maybe distance in geography, that is preventing me. so since geography is mor or les irellevant, its the time. i have to work with.
Yes - time is a 'biggie' for most and so easy to trap ourselves in. When we are here, moving ourselves in 'breath-time' there is no problem, because we are here - doing what is required to be done in each moment, assessing each point self-honestly and directing ourselves accordingly - when we move ourselves according to 'programmed time' we are in a state of worry, wondering whether we will get what is required to be done, done - and in that actually wasting time wondering and worrying about time, instead of simply moving ourselves.

So, breathing is key - 'breath-time' is the only relevant time - so when and as you see yourself participating in 'programmed time' - stop, breathe - bring yourself back here and move according to what is required to be done, no thoughts/feeling/emotions required.

Bella did a very cool blog on this recently, in how she is supporting herself with Time Management, which was also in relation to one of Anu's recent vids:

Time Management, Interaction, & Lifetime Commitment

So, give that a read for support.
tormod wrote:i started working when i was 13. at farmhouse. doing farm chores, feeding milking and caring for cows calves and other animals.
i was caretaker for a disabled kid, when i was 18 or 19. we vent to amusement park, and stuff like that. when i was 21 i startet working for a construction company, entrepeneur. later i worked many years voulenter, with music festivals, and concert arrangements. since 2002 (aprixemently) i have only been working with self. that is not easy. for 20 somthing psykiatrist, i have explained, how i feel, abute myself, and surroundings, to 10 or something psykologists, i have tried explain the same, and written and painted my life journal and inn shame in codes and colores. in vain, in drug high and in disregard to life. i would by prostitues, i woul get into fights, and spread herpes, i tried, and it has taken me, 10 years .... to get rid of only a couple of them. i have resently quit alkohol, drugs and sigarets. a employe is interested in such paterns, and manners.
Many of these points here would be cool to open up further and with more specificity and self-forgiveness in your 'Writing Self to Freedom' thread (http://forum.desteni.org/viewtopic.php? ... 7&start=20) - especially in relation to seeing psychiatrists/psychologists - what was your experience? What do you mean by: "and written and painted my life journal and inn shame in codes and colores" - what was the shame you experienced in relation to? What were the codes?

In terms of what you have written here about buying prostitutes and getting into fights, spreading herpes, etc - would be cool points to write out as well - however, first consider the potential consequence of writing about these points on the forum, as this is public and for anyone to see - thus, ensure you do not potentially compromise yourself. If you see this may be the case, it would be cool to walk these points privately with your DIP buddy.
tormod wrote:so, for me to explain why i dont have work, is like asking why is the lid on and not of the jar. i don not now, have a place to stay, and be safe. and if home, is not stabile or safe, then very litel is.
You may see it at the moment as 'I don't know why I don't have work' - however, you do, actually - because everything is here, it's just a point of writing it out, getting to a point of clarity within it all - in relation to 'who you are' within the point of work, and what you have accepted and allowed throughout your life that has compromised your ability to place yourself effectively in this system - again, this is not about 'right/wrong' but simply about getting to know yourself, as it is through this that you will be able to clear yourself of any confusion and 'I don't knows' that are currently inhibiting you from facing yourself directly. It will take time to sort out, however, here is the only place to start - breath by breath.
tormod wrote:so, i want to : find work , and keep upp the job that life and dedication with equalety is.
Cool Tormod - and you do this by first stabilizing yourself, sorting yourself out, and being self-honest with who you are at the moment - taking the necessary steps through self-investigation, writing, self-forgiveness and self-correction application in your life - so, first get these points clear and established - there is lots of support for you here to assist you in your process, so the only one who is holding you back is you.

We're here - keep sharing.

Thanks
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tormod
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Re: job.

Post by tormod »

i am not used to have work. i see now the major differerence between job and work , the pay, reward.

i get fustrated when i think of work. i get mad. mad as hell, when i think of work. i dont have work, work pays money. i have allready littel money. and i am to explain to people that i do not have work, and only littel pension. i would like to work. proper, and with focus on stabile. i don not have respect for employees, because they dont answer my applications. i write them long letters explaning about myself, and the do not give feed back. to me it explains why there is so manny killings in the world. i want to work, it is rewarding, gives me money. on the other hand, it makes me bound to a scedule, a time scedule. and i cant travel, when i want. i need to have new work or at least hobby.


i have changed so much last couple months, i reject and is rejected by old firends.


i need to find work. it is so fucking hurtfull with recjektion from employees, and, freinds.
i wish for work. and so reward.
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tormod
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Re: job.

Post by tormod »

Work.


I want to have decent work.
I want to have work, to have a job, I can go to, that is rewarding , and makes me at ease with being apart of society, and can ease my life. The work I want is, a job where I feel appreciated, and can share, how I experience, work. And life and social settings. A work with fasileties, and ordinary conditions, that makes if cool, and even fun, to give an effort.
I do like to work. I like the word, work. I think of revolution, coffe, debates, and physical, expectations of it. I do not like to remember the times that I screwed upp, at work, and inn general, all different work I have had, because I quit. And work no longer existed for me.

I know what work is.
I know that work often takes a certain level of physical action. Work, is often a huge want in a human life, and many people, roam from city to city only trying to find, work. When I need work, I apply over internet, to find, work, and I send emails.

I can delegate work.
I can find areas, at a work, that I see need more force on more simple attention. And from there I can see that a certain detail, or figure, or human, can be directed to another place, or rhythm, like.
I want there to be work.
I need work to make life worth, living, and to make sure I contribute, to the best of living for mankind, on planet earth.

Work is balanced force.
Since slavery still exist, and wages, are very out of balance, the balance , tool, that mankind use to measure , makes people suffer, go insane, and live in abuse. And only through, one’s own (mine) dedication is there purpose of the balance, and the force of work, will, be rewarded.



Work gives rewards.


thank you
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Anna
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Re: job.

Post by Anna »

i am not used to have work. i see now the major differerence between job and work , the pay, reward.
This could be cool to expand on - also in looking at redefining and purifying the word "job" so to remove all reactions of emotions/feelings as energetic charges and so the word is a word that all can agree on a common sense definition on.

What you've written here are the actual experiences you have created towards words and consist of back chat (blame), emotions and feelings. Thus - remember when writing such a point out, to not "leave it" at the point of simply writing out back chat, emotions and feelings for which self justifies the experience for self, but to actually bring the point to correction and release through self-forgiveness.

The following questions and perspectives on your writing, I suggest you apply - and I also suggest to re-read the support that has been given in this thread so far and apply yourself in writing accordingly as it is very coo support to assist and support self in opening up these points.

So what is important here is you and your experiences towards "job" and how you have created such experiences - remember, others are not creating the experiences within you and this is not about others. You are responsible for your experiences. That is a starting-point of writing that is vital to understand to write in and from a self-honest starting-point.
i get fustrated when i think of work. i get mad. mad as hell, when i think of work.
Here it is important to look "behind" and "underneath" the immediate experience of what is experienced as "justified" anger towards the system/employers. Because: this is not about anyone else - it is about self. Thus I suggest with all such experiences towards something/someone - to bring it back to yourself, look at how/where you are angry at you - and what lies "behind" and "underneath" this anger.
i dont have work, work pays money. i have allready littel money. and i am to explain to people that i do not have work, and only littel pension. i would like to work. proper, and with focus on stabile. i don not have respect for employees, because they dont answer my applications. i write them long letters explaning about myself, and the do not give feed back.
Tormod, we have previously talked about that it is normal that employers do not write back. I have also shared with you how I sent over 100 applications and only got answers from 5 employers. In the current economic situation of the world, these are the conditions we live in and under, jobs are scarce and we cannot expect anything from employers. They look at many applications every day and only have time to skim them. Thus - I suggest looking at how you take this point personally and how you create an instance within yourself that the system is to blame. What is it you fear within the employers not writing back to you? What is it of yourself you are hiding in the anger towards the system?
to me it explains why there is so manny killings in the world.
How so?
i want to work, it is rewarding, gives me money. on the other hand, it makes me bound to a scedule, a time scedule. and i cant travel, when i want. i need to have new work or at least hobby.
One can only travel when one wants if one has money, thus either one has to work or one is being supported by others. In opening up the point of job, this is a cool point to look at, also in differentiating between "work" and "job" to re-define your definition of work/job so that the word can stand best for all and as a word through which you are supporting yourself effectively in your world and reality.
i have changed so much last couple months, i reject and is rejected by old firends.
i need to find work. it is so fucking hurtfull with recjektion from employees, and, freinds.
i wish for work. and so reward.
It is important to, when writing, to stick to one point at a time. When other points come up, we can copy/paste that point into another document to get back to it later, so that we make sure that when we write a point out, it is only that point. What is also important here is to look at our starting-point within writing. Within this writing, you have allowed yourself to write out in a reaction/emotion and as such justified the reactions/emotions for yourself, but also submit yourself to it by writing it out as "that is what is real". It can be cool and required to write out our emotions and feelings, but then what is required is that we direct these in self-honesty and self-forgiveness to bring all points back to ourselves and take responsibility for what we have accepted and allowed.

So what one can do, is to within the moment one sits down to write, is to change one's starting-point: if you see that you are experiencing a reaction or a moment, you can make the directive decision to change your starting-point and to write yourself out until you are clear and here and have stopped the reaction. So for example asking yourself the questions that I have suggested and that Lindsay have suggested and as such: "Is this real?, who am I within this? How have I created this experience?"
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Re: job.

Post by Anna »

I want to have decent work.
What do you define as 'decent'? What is 'not decent'? Are there any energetic charges (positive/negative) connected to these words/definitions?
I want to have work, to have a job, I can go to, that is rewarding , and makes me at ease with being apart of society, and can ease my life. The work I want is, a job where I feel appreciated, and can share, how I experience, work. And life and social settings. A work with fasileties, and ordinary conditions, that makes if cool, and even fun, to give an effort.
Remember, because we create and are responsible for our own reactions/feelings/emotions, going somewhere else, being with somewhere else will not change our experience of ourselves and even if it does, it will be for a brief moment. If you have a look at your words here, you want a work to experience yourself a certain way, to have a certain experience. What this means is that you have separated for example 'appreciation' from yourself in perceiving that self-appreciation is 1) a feeling and 2) something others have to give you. Here you can thus look at how you have separated yourself from that which you believe a work will 'give' you. How can you instead give this to yourself? Suggest to also define what work is practically speaking, meaning without the emotional connotation of what it is supposed to 'give' you/make you feel.
I do like to work. I like the word, work. I think of revolution, coffe, debates, and physical, expectations of it.
Suggest to look at how you've defined "job" and "work" in a polarity relationship of negative/positive - you can also look at how you can bring those two points together in a practical common sense definition that stands for what is best for all and through which you can support yourself to participate effectively in your world and reality.
I do not like to remember the times that I screwed upp, at work, and inn general, all different work I have had, because I quit. And work no longer existed for me.
THIS, Tormod - is the "real" story. This is the story that is the origin of your emotional experiences towards work. And if you have a look at how you have been writing about job and work, it has been much about everything BUT this experience - exactly because it can be uncomfortable to look at - however if you also have a look in how the point preoccupies you in your daily participation, it is not "gone" - it is suppressed, which means that it is pushed down, yet is still very much "here". For you to push through this point and actually bring yourself to a point where you are comfortable with going out and taking a job, this is the point that requires to be faced/looked at in self-honesty and released through self-forgiveness. With these such points that we don't want to look at, the mind through fear is very good at making all kinds of other points suddenly seem very important, so it is here you got to push yourself and support yourself in looking at the point and simply breathe through experiences that come up as you start opening up the point for yourself.

Matti made a really cool vlog that has to do with this exact point. It is very cool support: Money Fear: Fear of failing at new job
I know what work is.
I know that work often takes a certain level of physical action. Work, is often a huge want in a human life, and many people, roam from city to city only trying to find, work. When I need work, I apply over internet, to find, work, and I send emails.

I can delegate work.
I can find areas, at a work, that I see need more force on more simple attention. And from there I can see that a certain detail, or figure, or human, can be directed to another place, or rhythm, like.
I want there to be work.
I need work to make life worth, living, and to make sure I contribute, to the best of living for mankind, on planet earth.

Work is balanced force.
Since slavery still exist, and wages, are very out of balance, the balance , tool, that mankind use to measure , makes people suffer, go insane, and live in abuse. And only through, one’s own (mine) dedication is there purpose of the balance, and the force of work, will, be rewarded.


Work gives rewards.


[/quote]


Cool Tormod - it is cool to investigate work from an "all" perspective, meaning how it exists in the world. Definitely cool for re-defining what work is and how to re-define it as best for all. It could for instance be to remove the "reward" part of the word (for example as an Equal Money System will practically do) and then define it as a specific form of self-expression. However as you also recognize, as this reality is currently structured, work is about money and most exist as wage-slaves. So cool to redefine for self first, how you have existed in relationship to this word, then look at the world-definition, the sound of the word and from there how one could redefine the word to what is best for all.

Thanks for sharing.
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tormod
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Re: job.

Post by tormod »

Work.
I have, after styarting to write aboute job / work, huge difficulties, with both the definition and my own towardness, considering the word job / work.

:shock:

I see through my writing with emotions, that I hate/and got mad , aboute the word, work. I also see through writing that I get glad, and feel happiness, about word work.

So it have big difficulties; landing with me. Or, I have big difficulties coping with the word, and phenomen, work/job.

I want to have decent work. This is decent work per definition:
Me (potential worker) want to have work, to have a job, I can contribute with mine: that is rewarding , and makes me at ease with being apart of society, and can ease my life. The work I want is, a job where I feel appreciated, and can share, how I experience, work. And life and social settings. A work with fasileties, and ordinary conditions, that makes it cool, and even fun, to give an effort.



I can delegate work, if I knew what work is/was.
I can find areas, at a work, that I see need more force on more simple attention. And from there I can see that a certain detail, or figure, or human, can be directed to another place, or rhythm, with purpuse, or intent.
Maybe I want this: “I want to be work” As work is me, and I am…sience, I am production and I am the work (?) a writer, and force. If not only the manifestation. Or just fantasy. :mrgreen:

Now I came upp, and I still do come up with manny different , words, that I ment where to be mentioned considering work. Like:
to me it explains why there is so manny killings in the world.
// with this sentence: I ment that so, many and more of unemployed, people, with the financial crisis, and so on, there is much frustration, that builds upp, an have to be deligated, some where! So it occurs. And there for the sick/criminal ect action and of for instance murder.

I need work to make life worth, living, and to make sure I contribute, to the best of living for mankind, on planet earth, now this sentence is suicidal. (meaning that the sentence is not totally valid, or upp for rewiew) What if work as all, as meaning and deffinition should vanish, and I did not “get it”? I died? Maybe, but that is not explaind, within me. And so, I guess it continues.

Work is balanced force. And the answear to that and the lie, than I have lived, and that millions of people are living everyday, is equality, within work, and so, it must come.
Since slavery still exist, and wages, are very out of balance, the balance , tool, that mankind use to measure , makes people suffer, go insane, and live in abuse. And only through, one’s own. Dedication is the purpose of the balance, and the force of work, will, be rewarded.
Actions that comes with humans such with human needs, like water, shelter, and food.
Through having a job, and the point of so and so scheduled proses, and human as equal, would be the need, and the vision of man, to brighten, for so all life equal.

Started working when i was 13. At farmhouse. Doing farm chores, feeding milking and caring for cows calves and other animals.

I do not like to remember the times that I screwed up, at work, and inn general, all different work I have had, because I quit. And work no longer existed for me. Reason for not wanting to remember is, fear of commitment, fear of separation, and aslo/therefor fear of work. So its round again. Back to the point where I would love to have work, and that I need work, and at the sametime, fear and even hate the word, and the intent, meaning and proposal, that is is.

So, to make my contribution here, more precise:

I have come to belive that, I need consulting, about me, deciding, wether to work. When to work, or with what to work.


Thank you.
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Anna
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Re: job.

Post by Anna »

Work.
I have, after styarting to write aboute job / work, huge difficulties, with both the definition and my own towardness, considering the word job / work.
How about looking at it this way Tormod: You are allowing yourself to open up your actual experiences towards the point of work/job and are realizing what it is you actually are experiencing? And that you are starting to see what it in fact takes to effectively open a point up and write it out? Because see, you can change your starting-point and approach to writing this point out, in allowing yourself to focus on the solution instead of the problem - that you ARE doing it, that you are here practicing becoming effective in writing.

I have through out my entire life had resistance towards points I was not immediately good at. In this, I created a reality for myself where I avoided being faced with points I was not good at, because I disliked/judged myself within having to learn something new. This resulted in that I never learned self-discipline and thus now had to learn everything from the beginning, because I had only always done that which I have found easy.

What I have found as the solution is the following:

1) DO IT! - that is the number 1 way to become effective in something - it takes practice.
2) Apply self-forgiveness on all ideal/ideas of self and the opposite polarity of self as "worthless/useless" to release the experiences and relationship towards engaging in a point that is new and in which I am not yet effective.
:shock:

I see through my writing with emotions, that I hate/and got mad , aboute the word, work. I also see through writing that I get glad, and feel happiness, about word work.
Very cool - you are identifying that you have created a polarity relationship as good/bad, job/work, fun/not fun, slave/free, worthy/worthless towards the word "job/work" - now you can open it up and begin the process of purifying the word until what stands is what is best for all and a word that is not personal, but simply describes a physical application in and as this world and reality.
So it have big difficulties; landing with me. Or, I have big difficulties coping with the word, and phenomen, work/job.
Again, realize that this is not personal - it is simply you starting to see what is implied within our relationship with specific words. So simply be gentle with yourself and see that it is not personal and Breathe.
I want to have decent work. This is decent work per definition:
Me (potential worker) want to have work, to have a job, I can contribute with mine: that is rewarding , and makes me at ease with being apart of society, and can ease my life. The work I want is, a job where I feel appreciated, and can share, how I experience, work. And life and social settings. A work with fasileties, and ordinary conditions, that makes it cool, and even fun, to give an effort.


What is "not decent" work? You can in your writing look at, if there is a positive, there is a negative and then identify both.
Now I came upp, and I still do come up with manny different , words, that I ment where to be mentioned considering work. Like:
to me it explains why there is so manny killings in the world.
// with this sentence: I ment that so, many and more of unemployed, people, with the financial crisis, and so on, there is much frustration, that builds upp, an have to be deligated, some where! So it occurs. And there for the sick/criminal ect action and of for instance murder.
Yes definitely, people are more likely to kill if they are desperate and cannot find a job, through which they can support themselves and their families.
I need work to make life worth, living, and to make sure I contribute, to the best of living for mankind, on planet earth, now this sentence is suicidal. (meaning that the sentence is not totally valid, or upp for rewiew) What if work as all, as meaning and deffinition should vanish, and I did not “get it”? I died? Maybe, but that is not explaind, within me. And so, I guess it continues.
Very cool Tormod - you are identifying that there is something "fishy" with this sentence. And instead of simply continuing, you stop up and note this for yourself. This is why writing to self-honesty is so important - because through our words, we can see who we are and we can direct ourselves to change. What I see, is that this sentence is written in a polarity point of positivity, of seeing self in a certain positive "light" as the contrast to the actual (negative) experience of self. So here you can look at positive ideas and self-definitions as ideals you have created in and as your mind towards "work".
Work is balanced force. And the answear to that and the lie, than I have lived, and that millions of people are living everyday, is equality, within work, and so, it must come.
Since slavery still exist, and wages, are very out of balance, the balance , tool, that mankind use to measure , makes people suffer, go insane, and live in abuse. And only through, one’s own. Dedication is the purpose of the balance, and the force of work, will, be rewarded.
Actions that comes with humans such with human needs, like water, shelter, and food.
Through having a job, and the point of so and so scheduled proses, and human as equal, would be the need, and the vision of man, to brighten, for so all life equal.
Cool realizations Tormod. There exist a delusion/deception that work is fulfilling and supportive for the world/mankind and at the same time work exist as slavery with wages that forces people to live in debt. Furthermore the job market is extensively unequal, yet promises everyone a "fair" chance.
Started working when i was 13. At farmhouse. Doing farm chores, feeding milking and caring for cows calves and other animals.
How did you experience this?
I do not like to remember the times that I screwed up, at work, and inn general, all different work I have had, because I quit. And work no longer existed for me. Reason for not wanting to remember is, fear of commitment, fear of separation, and aslo/therefor fear of work. So its round again. Back to the point where I would love to have work, and that I need work, and at the sametime, fear and even hate the word, and the intent, meaning and proposal, that is is.
Cool Tormod - you have identified what the resistance is to open the point up. Now it is simply a matter of PUSHING through!
I have come to belive that, I need consulting, about me, deciding, wether to work. When to work, or with what to work.
Yes, and it is not even about that, because that is a practical point that simply requires a practical solution - so what the point is here to sort out, first and foremost, is "who you are" in relation to work, in the relationship of polarities that you have created and placed yourself in the middle of - being torn between the positive and the negative, instead of "work" simply being an expression of self AND the realization of how "work" currently exists in and as this reality and that in order to live and support ourselves, we require working.

So cool - you are opening the point up.

Let's keep walking!
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tormod
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Re: job.

Post by tormod »

Started working when i was 13. At farmhouse. Doing farm chores, feeding milking and caring for cows calves and other animals.

How did you experience this?

I experience it the way that I feel care and love for animals, and the commitment and responsibility, that farming is. I also experience, it, the way that, I was maturing, going into adulthood. From being teenager, I was reciving money from work, an holding resposibilety. So these are positive, attachments that I recal, but I also remember or, can withdraw, from that time, realizing, that , farming , and agriculture, as total, is so, so, very gone wrong, and is one of the biggest supporters of the abuse in the world, that exist. Much through not being able to feed, (ironicaly)the garbage dump, with enough food, so the farmers had to even poisen the food and the land. That’s what I experienced, and understood from growing up, at that age.

What is "not decent" work? You can in your writing look at, if there is a positive, there is a negative and then identify both:

Not decent work (or non decent work), is by definition, work that make human, as worker, not capable of making meaning, being able to recive, feeling valued, enough, or in general not participating at the actual work as work is manifested, with humankind.

I forgive myself for having allowed my self, to claim that I could be ready for working and to stand equal, as now, as not past, and assess the notion and envy of me as myself , to not have work, and not be able to see, what it means to be inn work, with the time, the housing question of self, and how I should even search fro the job.

I forgive myself, for allowing myself for no being aware, of, how important the subject is, and how many that is concerd, and how many that it concerns, and where to place those concerns, that evolve from, ones, needs and expectations.

I forgive myself, for having allowed myself, to blame potential employes, of , what there was to blame a person, or a emlpoye for, and with that, the notion and expectations, of my own experience, of what work/job can be, and is, and could result in.

I forgive myself for allowing myself, for suppressing, values, of equal in me, such as enviromenltal, and fundamental teachings, that, is global knownledge, that is needed for human, and all life, as one, for the continuation, of what we are as one, with life on earth.
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