First, you must look at your definition of 'conduct' to see for yourself how you are living this word, and from there you can look at whether or not this word is being practically lived - conduct is basically in relation to 'how one behaves' - so, if you're looking at 'how you behave' in your writing, and whether or not this is 'right' - suggest you simply let go of right/wrong and self-honestly assess for yourself how you are currently utilizing writing as a tool to support yourself.i dont know how to direct my self, or conduct, with writing. conduct through writing? is it possible?
Yes - time is a 'biggie' for most and so easy to trap ourselves in. When we are here, moving ourselves in 'breath-time' there is no problem, because we are here - doing what is required to be done in each moment, assessing each point self-honestly and directing ourselves accordingly - when we move ourselves according to 'programmed time' we are in a state of worry, wondering whether we will get what is required to be done, done - and in that actually wasting time wondering and worrying about time, instead of simply moving ourselves.its only the illutuion of time, and maybe distance in geography, that is preventing me. so since geography is mor or les irellevant, its the time. i have to work with.
Many of these points here would be cool to open up further and with more specificity and self-forgiveness in your 'Writing Self to Freedom' thread (http://forum.desteni.org/viewtopic.php? ... 7&start=20) - especially in relation to seeing psychiatrists/psychologists - what was your experience? What do you mean by: "and written and painted my life journal and inn shame in codes and colores" - what was the shame you experienced in relation to? What were the codes?i started working when i was 13. at farmhouse. doing farm chores, feeding milking and caring for cows calves and other animals.
i was caretaker for a disabled kid, when i was 18 or 19. we vent to amusement park, and stuff like that. when i was 21 i startet working for a construction company, entrepeneur. later i worked many years voulenter, with music festivals, and concert arrangements. since 2002 (aprixemently) i have only been working with self. that is not easy. for 20 somthing psykiatrist, i have explained, how i feel, abute myself, and surroundings, to 10 or something psykologists, i have tried explain the same, and written and painted my life journal and inn shame in codes and colores. in vain, in drug high and in disregard to life. i would by prostitues, i woul get into fights, and spread herpes, i tried, and it has taken me, 10 years .... to get rid of only a couple of them. i have resently quit alkohol, drugs and sigarets. a employe is interested in such paterns, and manners.
You may see it at the moment as 'I don't know why I don't have work' - however, you do, actually - because everything is here, it's just a point of writing it out, getting to a point of clarity within it all - in relation to 'who you are' within the point of work, and what you have accepted and allowed throughout your life that has compromised your ability to place yourself effectively in this system - again, this is not about 'right/wrong' but simply about getting to know yourself, as it is through this that you will be able to clear yourself of any confusion and 'I don't knows' that are currently inhibiting you from facing yourself directly. It will take time to sort out, however, here is the only place to start - breath by breath.so, for me to explain why i dont have work, is like asking why is the lid on and not of the jar. i don not now, have a place to stay, and be safe. and if home, is not stabile or safe, then very litel is.
Cool Tormod - and you do this by first stabilizing yourself, sorting yourself out, and being self-honest with who you are at the moment - taking the necessary steps through self-investigation, writing, self-forgiveness and self-correction application in your life - so, first get these points clear and established - there is lots of support for you here to assist you in your process, so the only one who is holding you back is you.so, i want to : find work , and keep upp the job that life and dedication with equalety is.
This could be cool to expand on - also in looking at redefining and purifying the word "job" so to remove all reactions of emotions/feelings as energetic charges and so the word is a word that all can agree on a common sense definition on.i am not used to have work. i see now the major differerence between job and work , the pay, reward.
Here it is important to look "behind" and "underneath" the immediate experience of what is experienced as "justified" anger towards the system/employers. Because: this is not about anyone else - it is about self. Thus I suggest with all such experiences towards something/someone - to bring it back to yourself, look at how/where you are angry at you - and what lies "behind" and "underneath" this anger.i get fustrated when i think of work. i get mad. mad as hell, when i think of work.
Tormod, we have previously talked about that it is normal that employers do not write back. I have also shared with you how I sent over 100 applications and only got answers from 5 employers. In the current economic situation of the world, these are the conditions we live in and under, jobs are scarce and we cannot expect anything from employers. They look at many applications every day and only have time to skim them. Thus - I suggest looking at how you take this point personally and how you create an instance within yourself that the system is to blame. What is it you fear within the employers not writing back to you? What is it of yourself you are hiding in the anger towards the system?i dont have work, work pays money. i have allready littel money. and i am to explain to people that i do not have work, and only littel pension. i would like to work. proper, and with focus on stabile. i don not have respect for employees, because they dont answer my applications. i write them long letters explaning about myself, and the do not give feed back.
How so?to me it explains why there is so manny killings in the world.
One can only travel when one wants if one has money, thus either one has to work or one is being supported by others. In opening up the point of job, this is a cool point to look at, also in differentiating between "work" and "job" to re-define your definition of work/job so that the word can stand best for all and as a word through which you are supporting yourself effectively in your world and reality.i want to work, it is rewarding, gives me money. on the other hand, it makes me bound to a scedule, a time scedule. and i cant travel, when i want. i need to have new work or at least hobby.
It is important to, when writing, to stick to one point at a time. When other points come up, we can copy/paste that point into another document to get back to it later, so that we make sure that when we write a point out, it is only that point. What is also important here is to look at our starting-point within writing. Within this writing, you have allowed yourself to write out in a reaction/emotion and as such justified the reactions/emotions for yourself, but also submit yourself to it by writing it out as "that is what is real". It can be cool and required to write out our emotions and feelings, but then what is required is that we direct these in self-honesty and self-forgiveness to bring all points back to ourselves and take responsibility for what we have accepted and allowed.i have changed so much last couple months, i reject and is rejected by old firends.
i need to find work. it is so fucking hurtfull with recjektion from employees, and, freinds.
i wish for work. and so reward.
What do you define as 'decent'? What is 'not decent'? Are there any energetic charges (positive/negative) connected to these words/definitions?I want to have decent work.
Remember, because we create and are responsible for our own reactions/feelings/emotions, going somewhere else, being with somewhere else will not change our experience of ourselves and even if it does, it will be for a brief moment. If you have a look at your words here, you want a work to experience yourself a certain way, to have a certain experience. What this means is that you have separated for example 'appreciation' from yourself in perceiving that self-appreciation is 1) a feeling and 2) something others have to give you. Here you can thus look at how you have separated yourself from that which you believe a work will 'give' you. How can you instead give this to yourself? Suggest to also define what work is practically speaking, meaning without the emotional connotation of what it is supposed to 'give' you/make you feel.I want to have work, to have a job, I can go to, that is rewarding , and makes me at ease with being apart of society, and can ease my life. The work I want is, a job where I feel appreciated, and can share, how I experience, work. And life and social settings. A work with fasileties, and ordinary conditions, that makes if cool, and even fun, to give an effort.
Suggest to look at how you've defined "job" and "work" in a polarity relationship of negative/positive - you can also look at how you can bring those two points together in a practical common sense definition that stands for what is best for all and through which you can support yourself to participate effectively in your world and reality.I do like to work. I like the word, work. I think of revolution, coffe, debates, and physical, expectations of it.
THIS, Tormod - is the "real" story. This is the story that is the origin of your emotional experiences towards work. And if you have a look at how you have been writing about job and work, it has been much about everything BUT this experience - exactly because it can be uncomfortable to look at - however if you also have a look in how the point preoccupies you in your daily participation, it is not "gone" - it is suppressed, which means that it is pushed down, yet is still very much "here". For you to push through this point and actually bring yourself to a point where you are comfortable with going out and taking a job, this is the point that requires to be faced/looked at in self-honesty and released through self-forgiveness. With these such points that we don't want to look at, the mind through fear is very good at making all kinds of other points suddenly seem very important, so it is here you got to push yourself and support yourself in looking at the point and simply breathe through experiences that come up as you start opening up the point for yourself.I do not like to remember the times that I screwed upp, at work, and inn general, all different work I have had, because I quit. And work no longer existed for me.
I know what work is.
I know that work often takes a certain level of physical action. Work, is often a huge want in a human life, and many people, roam from city to city only trying to find, work. When I need work, I apply over internet, to find, work, and I send emails.
I can delegate work.
I can find areas, at a work, that I see need more force on more simple attention. And from there I can see that a certain detail, or figure, or human, can be directed to another place, or rhythm, like.
I want there to be work.
I need work to make life worth, living, and to make sure I contribute, to the best of living for mankind, on planet earth.
Work is balanced force.
Since slavery still exist, and wages, are very out of balance, the balance , tool, that mankind use to measure , makes people suffer, go insane, and live in abuse. And only through, one’s own (mine) dedication is there purpose of the balance, and the force of work, will, be rewarded.
How about looking at it this way Tormod: You are allowing yourself to open up your actual experiences towards the point of work/job and are realizing what it is you actually are experiencing? And that you are starting to see what it in fact takes to effectively open a point up and write it out? Because see, you can change your starting-point and approach to writing this point out, in allowing yourself to focus on the solution instead of the problem - that you ARE doing it, that you are here practicing becoming effective in writing.Work.
I have, after styarting to write aboute job / work, huge difficulties, with both the definition and my own towardness, considering the word job / work.
Very cool - you are identifying that you have created a polarity relationship as good/bad, job/work, fun/not fun, slave/free, worthy/worthless towards the word "job/work" - now you can open it up and begin the process of purifying the word until what stands is what is best for all and a word that is not personal, but simply describes a physical application in and as this world and reality.
I see through my writing with emotions, that I hate/and got mad , aboute the word, work. I also see through writing that I get glad, and feel happiness, about word work.
Again, realize that this is not personal - it is simply you starting to see what is implied within our relationship with specific words. So simply be gentle with yourself and see that it is not personal and Breathe.So it have big difficulties; landing with me. Or, I have big difficulties coping with the word, and phenomen, work/job.
I want to have decent work. This is decent work per definition:
Me (potential worker) want to have work, to have a job, I can contribute with mine: that is rewarding , and makes me at ease with being apart of society, and can ease my life. The work I want is, a job where I feel appreciated, and can share, how I experience, work. And life and social settings. A work with fasileties, and ordinary conditions, that makes it cool, and even fun, to give an effort.
Yes definitely, people are more likely to kill if they are desperate and cannot find a job, through which they can support themselves and their families.Now I came upp, and I still do come up with manny different , words, that I ment where to be mentioned considering work. Like:
to me it explains why there is so manny killings in the world.
// with this sentence: I ment that so, many and more of unemployed, people, with the financial crisis, and so on, there is much frustration, that builds upp, an have to be deligated, some where! So it occurs. And there for the sick/criminal ect action and of for instance murder.
Very cool Tormod - you are identifying that there is something "fishy" with this sentence. And instead of simply continuing, you stop up and note this for yourself. This is why writing to self-honesty is so important - because through our words, we can see who we are and we can direct ourselves to change. What I see, is that this sentence is written in a polarity point of positivity, of seeing self in a certain positive "light" as the contrast to the actual (negative) experience of self. So here you can look at positive ideas and self-definitions as ideals you have created in and as your mind towards "work".I need work to make life worth, living, and to make sure I contribute, to the best of living for mankind, on planet earth, now this sentence is suicidal. (meaning that the sentence is not totally valid, or upp for rewiew) What if work as all, as meaning and deffinition should vanish, and I did not “get it”? I died? Maybe, but that is not explaind, within me. And so, I guess it continues.
Cool realizations Tormod. There exist a delusion/deception that work is fulfilling and supportive for the world/mankind and at the same time work exist as slavery with wages that forces people to live in debt. Furthermore the job market is extensively unequal, yet promises everyone a "fair" chance.Work is balanced force. And the answear to that and the lie, than I have lived, and that millions of people are living everyday, is equality, within work, and so, it must come.
Since slavery still exist, and wages, are very out of balance, the balance , tool, that mankind use to measure , makes people suffer, go insane, and live in abuse. And only through, one’s own. Dedication is the purpose of the balance, and the force of work, will, be rewarded.
Actions that comes with humans such with human needs, like water, shelter, and food.
Through having a job, and the point of so and so scheduled proses, and human as equal, would be the need, and the vision of man, to brighten, for so all life equal.
How did you experience this?Started working when i was 13. At farmhouse. Doing farm chores, feeding milking and caring for cows calves and other animals.
Cool Tormod - you have identified what the resistance is to open the point up. Now it is simply a matter of PUSHING through!I do not like to remember the times that I screwed up, at work, and inn general, all different work I have had, because I quit. And work no longer existed for me. Reason for not wanting to remember is, fear of commitment, fear of separation, and aslo/therefor fear of work. So its round again. Back to the point where I would love to have work, and that I need work, and at the sametime, fear and even hate the word, and the intent, meaning and proposal, that is is.
Yes, and it is not even about that, because that is a practical point that simply requires a practical solution - so what the point is here to sort out, first and foremost, is "who you are" in relation to work, in the relationship of polarities that you have created and placed yourself in the middle of - being torn between the positive and the negative, instead of "work" simply being an expression of self AND the realization of how "work" currently exists in and as this reality and that in order to live and support ourselves, we require working.I have come to belive that, I need consulting, about me, deciding, wether to work. When to work, or with what to work.
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