Michelle writing Freedom

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Anna
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Re: Michelle writing Freedom

Post by Anna »

Would be cool to not only support Marlen and Anna, but to moreover support yourself, especially and specifically within writing out the thoughts/feelings/emotions you have, or have had in regards to this point within and throughout your life and then from there, applying self-forgiveness and self-corrective application to assist yourself in living these words as yourself in your Life.

We're here to assist/support you along the way, so keep sharing!
YES!
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Michelle Best
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Re: Michelle writing Freedom

Post by Michelle Best »

Today I was reflecting about my past. On my facebook. I traveled alot,from the day I was born. I never had a permenent home. I was more twards my mom side of my family. My mom and me get along great. When I was little I didn't really understand love at all. I never hugged or kiss my parent. Plus I was shy introvert. Still this day Im shy sometime when It comes to people. I was never a loud talker unless I know a little more. I hardly have friends. I had a hard time trusting. Trust was a big deal for me. I give and I don't recieve. I put my trust in people. But people really don't give a fuck in this world. Look at me now. I help and what do get. Nothing really. I realized there is nothing to give in this world. Even for my parent. I love my parents so much. Especially my mom. I love , I just don't know how to show it. In my past I was a ROBOT. No remorse, fuck love,keep to myself and always wanted a relationship. My work was my escape. My padded room. Dee comes into my life and broke my wall down. My barrierer. I was waiting for that certian one. To be honest what was I waiting for. I always felt there was something wrong with the world. My writting suck, Im to tired. I will write more tommarow.
Marlen
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Re: Michelle writing Freedom

Post by Marlen »

Michelle Best wrote:Today I was reflecting about my past. On my facebook. I traveled alot,from the day I was born. I never had a permenent home. I was more twards my mom side of my family. My mom and me get along great. When I was little I didn't really understand love at all. I never hugged or kiss my parent. Plus I was shy introvert. Still this day Im shy sometime when It comes to people. I was never a loud talker unless I know a little more. I hardly have friends. I had a hard time trusting. Trust was a big deal for me. I give and I don't recieve. I put my trust in people. But people really don't give a fuck in this world. Look at me now. I help and what do get. Nothing really. I realized there is nothing to give in this world. Even for my parent. I love my parents so much. Especially my mom. I love , I just don't know how to show it. In my past I was a ROBOT. No remorse, fuck love,keep to myself and always wanted a relationship. My work was my escape. My padded room. Dee comes into my life and broke my wall down. My barrierer. I was waiting for that certian one. To be honest what was I waiting for. I always felt there was something wrong with the world. My writting suck, Im to tired. I will write more tommarow.
Hey Michelle - have a look. You can use this that you wrote and beginning walking Self Forgiveness as this is the only way that I have found I am able to 'step out' from my self created idea of 'who I am' as what I like, dislike, how I define myself and 'who am I' within this world-picture that I created for myself.

Thus, see how for example how do you experience yourself as the definition of being a 'shy introvert' -
why do you require to know a bit more in order to talk 'loud' as in voicing yourself in a sound way
what has made you have a hard time trusting?
What have you defined as 'giving to this world' in separation of giving it back to yourself?
What have you defined as love - and how this lead you to desire a relationship all the time -
How have you accepted and allow to blame another for what you experienced Within Yourself -
And finally, how we can allow our own minds to make us believe that we are tired, while in fact, we are in that specific moment wherein we can 'break into' ourselves for the first time and start sharing self-honestly about ourselves, our lives.

Writing ourselves to freedom is not something we have done from the starting point of taking responsibility before. I can relate writing stuff like you just did when I was a teenager and leaving it just 'as is' - I filled notebooks with endless complains about my life, about 'how others made me feel' and never took the point back to myself. What those writings became for me were an actual blueprint of fuckedupness, as I reinforced and aligned myself to a limited personality with rather depressive and victimized experience throughout my life.

Thus, I'm here to say: give yourself the opportunity to give YOU direction and become the directive principle within your writing. I am walking the manifested consequences of, for example, having yearned a relationship 'outside of myself' and 'giving something to the world,' 'wanting to change the world' and believing that 'I had so much to give but I didn't know where to 'put it' - which is actually a line from a movie called Magnolia wherein the character that exerts this line faces an entire lifetime of having been identified as 'one single trait' within his life, being a smart kid and building himself, his entire life around being just that 'a smart kid that won a prize for it.' It is a cool analogy to see how much we have funneled ourselves, our entire experience that is here as our physical body to a single handful of concepts as preferences, ideas, beliefs about ourselves, holding on to a past that can only serve us here for the purpose of walking our entire lifetime in order to support ourselves to see How we created ourselves, and take responsibility for it.

The character in the movie tries so hard to fit in and be liked by a younger male that ends up getting caught in further problems because of him not being able to accept himself. We have become our own 'seekers' of a life outside of ourselves - how can that be? how is it that we sought acceptance from others and forgetting about the reality that is HERE as our physical body that we forget about every single moment that we don't breathe in self-awareness?

So, these are some first points to consider how to take your process as an actual opportunity to accept you - to write you -to live and direct yourself one and equal within the realization that all that you have ever experienced is actually you-yourself, created by you-yourself.

Suggestion is to direct yourself, 'push' yourself to not stop in that moment when you are seeing that your writing is actually opening up important points for you to start walking here, to then begin with Self Forgiveness.

I learned through some interviews on eqafe.com how acceptance is not about wanting to 'change myself,' it is about first establishing our very own point of relationship with ourselves, as our own mind, as our physical body. We have sought relationships all the time in separation of ourselves - it's about time we give ourselves the opportunity to actually live and realize how much we have limited ourselves by only existing as a few handful of experiences that have 'marked' us in our reality.

We have to walk them all through writing, as that's the only way we can lay it all out, walk the self forgiveness and write a self-corrective direction to use it as a compass, a direction that we can give to ourselves to establish self honesty as a living process.

Alright - thanks for sharing, and realize that all that we thought we could 'give to the world' we can begin by giving it to ourselves, as that the point within this process: standing as that example of what self-love would actually mean so that we never seek it outside of ourselves in relationships of dependency, diminishing ourselves to a single point of existence as the mind, and missing out the entire conglomerate of cells that breathe along as myself here.
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Rozelle de Lange
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Re: Michelle writing Freedom

Post by Rozelle de Lange »

realize that all that we thought we could 'give to the world' we can begin by giving it to ourselves, as that the point within this process: standing as that example of what self-love would actually mean so that we never seek it outside of ourselves in relationships of dependency, diminishing ourselves to a single point of existence as the mind, and missing out the entire conglomerate of cells that breathe along as myself here.
- Agreed

Cool support here!
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Michelle Best
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Re: Michelle writing Freedom

Post by Michelle Best »

My head is in a blank when I read your writing. Im not much of a writter. Im trying to open myself to writing. Thank you for your support. Why is hard for me to except myself to go through the preocess. Have you ever have this problem. Is it self within me not excepting the preocess. When I write I feel stump. Why is that?
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Leila
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Re: Michelle writing Freedom

Post by Leila »

I find that when I feel like I can't write / am going blank that this is because I've already placed myself in a particular mindset and already kind of 'made up my mind' about myself and what I am about to do.

So if I look at your post, you state that you don't see yourself as 'not much of a writer' -- this is only a belief, a state of mind that you accept within yourself. Once you accept this limitation it becomes your reality and then you will experience yourself accordingly. So the correction would be to release yourself of this self-definition point which will remove the 'barrier' so to speak, allowing yourself to flow once again.
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Michelle Best
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Re: Michelle writing Freedom

Post by Michelle Best »

I notice myself I feel like Im block, Like a wall that traps me with in. My wall is to keep me safe. I ask myslelf safe from what. Im tired of fucking up. I tired of being held back. I pretty much ignore whats inside and out of me. I will keep speaking against my own Ego. My ego Consumes me with distractions of materialistic shit. When it comes to care and other bullshit. I notics I sniffle and tears come out of my eyes. Like there is something deep within side me whats to come out. But I held back not comming out. I don't know why I have yhis deep pain with in me. I always felt I had it for a long time. I have to searsh within myself in every breath I take. I hear my breathing I concetrate on hearing breath. I feel there is a barrier in my head. .
I forgive myself to alow myself to let myself within myself to block me from from my ownself as myself to be free.

I forgive myself to alow myself with in myself to be trap from myself from my own ego. Ego has consume me from my ownself.

I forgive myself to alow myself letting ego destract me from my ownself for materialistic bullshit making me feel good when I get the car or products.

I forgive myself to alow myself with in myself create barrier with in myslf to supress myself for holding what evers in me in conchencely and unconchencesly

I forgive myslf to alow myself to let belief of not being a good writer making me supress myself and blocking myself conchencely and unconchencly
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Anna
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Re: Michelle writing Freedom

Post by Anna »

Michelle Best wrote:I notice myself I feel like Im block, Like a wall that traps me with in. My wall is to keep me safe. I ask myslelf safe from what. Im tired of fucking up. I tired of being held back. I pretty much ignore whats inside and out of me. I will keep speaking against my own Ego. My ego Consumes me with distractions of materialistic shit. When it comes to care and other bullshit. I notics I sniffle and tears come out of my eyes. Like there is something deep within side me whats to come out. But I held back not comming out. I don't know why I have yhis deep pain with in me. I always felt I had it for a long time. I have to searsh within myself in every breath I take. I hear my breathing I concetrate on hearing breath. I feel there is a barrier in my head. .
I forgive myself to alow myself to let myself within myself to block me from from my ownself as myself to be free.

I forgive myself to alow myself with in myself to be trap from myself from my own ego. Ego has consume me from my ownself.

I forgive myself to alow myself letting ego destract me from my ownself for materialistic bullshit making me feel good when I get the car or products.

I forgive myself to alow myself with in myself create barrier with in myslf to supress myself for holding what evers in me in conchencely and unconchencesly

I forgive myslf to alow myself to let belief of not being a good writer making me supress myself and blocking myself conchencely and unconchencly
Cool Michelle. You are Here. You have made the step to start releasing all the shit. Now it is simply a matter of start walking and keep walking.

What is experienced as a "wall" is the resistance of the mind that we have existed in and as. The mind is designed as a self-protection-system. All it exist as, is these self-protection-mechanisms and there are many of them, as we through the years have created layers upon layers that we have hidden ourselves within, from and as. What you are doing here, with the starting to write - and with forgiving yourself, is that you are starting to 'loosen' the 'noose' so to speak and that can activate many reactions in, from and as the mind. So when we start the process of facing ourselves and stopping suppression, we require to stand in the place that we previously gave suppression to "take care of things." Now we are here to learn how to start caring for ourselves.

For me, one of the most important points in relation to enabling myself to walk effectively and for example write effectively, was to make the directive decision that I am here to Support myself. Many 'other parts' of me might not be, as the personalities that I have separated myself into and as - but exactly as you have taken the first step to freeing yourself, you can make the decision to walk from a starting-point of self-support. All it takes is One step, One Breath, One decision and from there, the next one and the next.

You made the decision to come here and start writing yourself out. That requires self-will and so you are showing yourself that you do in fact have what it takes (everyone does, but it requires self-willed action) - this you can utilize to push yourself to take the next step and the next - in getting to know yourself.

Because we have suppressed ourselves for so long and self-suppression has been one of the primary self-protection mechanisms, when we start stopping the self-suppression through actually directing ourselves to face ourselves, we require effective tools to "greet" ourselves with, so that when the suppressed points/parts come up/out we are capable of effectively directing them - for example through applying self-forgiveness, releasing the energetic shit connected to memories, and through utilizing breathing and breath in moments of reacting and experiencing emotions.

So you can create a foundation/platform within and as yourself to "walk from" where you enable yourself to face whatever comes up/out effectively by making the directive decision of being here to support yourself no matter what.

So suggest to keep walking - do what you are doing - keep opening up - be gentle and firm with yourself to bring yourself to self-honesty and self-forgiveness.

Suggest to listen to the Solution series if you have not already. (Single videos are also available on YouTube. I suggest to listen to the whole series)

I also suggest listening to Self-Forgiveness and Facing The Wall

Lastly, if you have not yet, I suggest giving yourself the gift of Embracing Self
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Michelle Best
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Re: Michelle writing Freedom

Post by Michelle Best »

I feel a peace inside me , but I really don't. Like I hear voices but I hear nothing. My body is not really relax. Because I have to work on the weekend. Im not really relaxed at all. Money really got a hold on me this time. I checked my account. I know its going up. Witch is good. But not enough, just incase my job goes out of business. The Company I work is a small company. We are on a thin string. Thats why Im looking around just incase. Im not stress, Im little worried. Plus Im looking around for a bigger trailer to live in. Why do we go through all this shit to survive. I commercial saying there is a better solution. But in this reality the ones who controling the money doesn t reaaly give a damn about us. I shouldn't worry about them. I need to focus on me. I notice I really don't even notice myself when I look all around me. I rather look out . Then look in. Whats in me I wanted to keep private. I can't anymore. I do care about people and whats best. I just don't know how to show it. This world is our world, Not the ones who control the money.. I want our world back as one and equal.
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Michelle Best
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Re: Michelle writing Freedom

Post by Michelle Best »

I forgive myself to alow myself to feel this inner peace with in myself not knowing the peace is not really peace in my mind that with in me conchencly and uncoucheencly.

I forgive myself to alow to accept myself to hear voices in my head witch is not mine.

I forgive myself to alow to except myself to worry about my job going out of bussiness, I worry because Im barely making it and Im going to stress because of money.

I forgive myself to alow myself to accept money is the control of my life creating anger,stress and blame onto myself.

I forgive myself to alow myself to except that money and materialistic thing over consumee me when I look at anything that moving and has wheels on them.

I forgiev Myself to alow myself to to make me stressed out when I have to fix my pickup truck.

I forgive Mysself to alow myself and to accept myself to feel confine to my own lonelyness with in myself and out of myself not having anyone to talk to.

I forgive Myself to alow myself and except myself to worry about surviving in this reality for myself to eat ,sleep and have transpotation to work.
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