Justins writting

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Anna
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Re: Justins writting

Post by Anna »

Cool Justin!

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JustinKlassen
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Re: Justins writting

Post by JustinKlassen »

Well while I have been continuing DIP light everyday I find myself still neglecting to write here on the forum.

This is what I wrote today on DIP light - 6.7.7 - working with memories - I'm just try to keep my writing simple and just write what ever comes out.

The day I found Desteni. When I watch desteni videos I remember when I first found desteni. I was extremely put at ease to finding out what the fuck was going on in this world . I was happy that I could see and comprehend the message to the point where I'd give myself a pat on the back, especially when finding out other peoples reaction about it being brainwashed etc. When I think about being destonian I immediately come back to 'reality' that I am in this fear of exposing myself to others about desteni and I wish that it was more accepted by people as something positive so that I can openly share the 'positive' relationship/memories that I created when I first found desteni.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to when watching desteni videos/information be reminded of how awesome it was to find out the truth and experience a self empowering/excited reaction to it.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to define and place the desteni message within a positive polarity as a message that opposite's all other messages.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to victimize myself within my mind as believing that others will think negative of me as if I am crazy for 'buying in to desteni'

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to base my starting point on desteni as 'buying into' the relief I experienced as energy when I heard the commonsense of desteni which I then created the opposite polarity as fear of those who oppose desteni

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to thru living in fear, created a positive memory of my first desteni experiences, thru which I compete and compare others reactions to desteni with my own, where I then would go to war/compete with those who experienced the opposite of me. DUe to the extensive nature of the desteni material I have made myself to believe that I am too weak to 'go to battle' with the vast majority of those who do not see.

I forgive myself that I have not accepted and allowed myself to see and realize that I am here and I DO in fact understand the importance of the desteni message and I must walk myself to freedom.

I forgive myself that I have not accepted and allowed myself to see and realize that I will get myself nowhere if I continue to allow myself to become affected by polarity and until I make a real stand and walk here openly, I will continue to compound the pattern of being a "destonian in the closet' and continue to create new positive/enlightened/self righteous back chat/memories while reading/watching desteni material.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear actually walking my process thru which I use the positive experiences i get when watching desteni material to make me feel better and smarter as an information and knowledge robot with only words to speak and no actions taken. And even the words I have accumulated and am able to speak are but silent thoughts in my mind and not spoken here with actual beings.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to base my beingness as who I am into memories of polarity and information and knowledge, that I create as my own little world that I will defend and protect because I call it me and I fear to lose me when I am confronted with other beings who may act opposite to me.

I forgive myself that I have not accepted and allowed myself to live here and do what is necessary to face myself and delete this program running inside of me and share who I am and what I have accepted and allowed myself to become.

I commit myself to when and as I see myself going into a positive polarity when watching desteni material I stop and realize that it will only create an inevitable shift into fear where I then compromise myself and question myself on weather or not I am able to stand.

I commit myself to when and as I see myself reacting in fear of what others will think when they find out I walk with desteni I stop and breath and realize that I must forgive myself for creating both a positive experience as the reaction to my first desteni experience and the fear, that I must defend and/or hide myself in shame of what others will think.

I commit myself to breath and stabilize myself when watching/reading desteni material and focus on how I can practically apply myself within the information being shared and stop using it as a "I feel better that i watched/read that' moment.

Maya
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Re: Justins writting

Post by Maya »

Cool Self Support here

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Maite
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Re: Justins writting

Post by Maite »

Cool Justin!

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Juan Pablo
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Re: Justins writting

Post by Juan Pablo »

Nice Justin!

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JustinKlassen
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Re: Justins writting

Post by JustinKlassen »

Ok so i'm going to quit smoking. I have written a bit about it in DIP lite and decided that if I keep compounding failure's it will only get harder. As of now, my funds don't really allow me to continue to smoke so I'm gonna give it another go.

Tonight I have been sitting here counting down the smokes I have left in my pack. Its a count down to insanity. I see myself wanting to stretch out the last few smokes to make it to bed time. After every smoke I have, i count how many I have left and do the math of when I can have my next smoke. What I can see is that this morning I was cool about it. I was like ok so tonight i'm gonna do it. I smoked freely until a few hours after I got home from work.

I see myself going into memories of waking up freaking out and deciding that the time is just not right. I fear that I will not be able to commit. I fear that I will allow myself to make up excuses to go back to smoking. I see myself counting down to madness. I see that I project scenarios where "if I wait until the weekend" or "I'll do it on Monday" it will be easier. I want to create a scenario where I see that if I "time everything just right..I will be easy". Well this has obviously failed as every time I decide the timing will be perfect I see that "there is always some where in the future" that will be even better lol.

What I know is I cannot escape what I will experience when I quit (this is what it amounts too). I can however make it a lot less stressful if I accept the consequences and commit to walking it. If I commit to letting go of the thoughts that will compound and trust that I am really just walking a point where it will only be a matter of time until each step gets easier. I have quit before and I know that it will take 2 weeks of pressing until I am stable again.

The problem with the last paragraph here is how I allow myself to take what I have learned from experience and place it into positive thinking. Replacing one 'soother' with another. Allowing myself to focus on a thought to direct me. Focusing on a point/prize at the end of the road. A count down to happiness/relief. What I am able to see is that I am the one who is creating the "need to be relieved" . To be relieved of the anxiety and stress that I create in my mind by focusing on the happy thoughts that will be "real" when I'm done.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear quitting smoking as I feel like I am letting go of something that makes my experiences more complete.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that I need to smoke to enjoy my life experiences.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that quitting smoking is a "good thing" that will make me a more acceptable person.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that the cigarettes themselves is the only reason I feel stressed out when I am in fact the one who has created such an attachment to smoking that I have created thoughts/beliefs and excuses as a security system with the purpose of hanging on to what I have attached myself to no matter what.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to activate this security system the moment I decide to compromise the attachment to smoking by going into memories of what it like to go long periods of time without a smoke.

I forgive myself that I have not accepted and allowed myself to see that the ideas of right and wrong where I place right as quitting smoking is like an invader that trips the alarm and sets me into security mode where I start to feel insecure and weak when I decide I am going to quit.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to use positive thinking as the ideas of being a better human being who looks and smells fresh an clean to assist me to move myself to quit smoking when these ideas only come from agreeing and believing that smokers are dirty and they smell bad and are unpleasant to be around.

I forgive myself that I accept and allow myself to predict my first day without a cigarette to be a fucking nightmare because I believe that I cannot stop the madness that goes though my mind. I am simply not seeing that I am really not willing to face my own bull shit that I generate in my mind thru the fear of facing consequence.

I forgive myself that I have not accepted and allowed myself to see and realize that I am deliberately sabotaging myself by predicting my experience thru placing memories of quitting smoking as bad/negative and I only want to predict/experience happy/positive things which allow me to turn a blind eye to responsibility and consequence.

I commit myself to when and as I see myself looking into the next moment and predicting thru the experience of past memories of quitting smoking as an experience that I do not want to face, I stop and breath and continue living here in the moment with no expectation of what I will experience next and be aware that I will walk thru what ever comes up and not allow myself to participate.

I commit myself to when and as I see myself bring up memories that I have placed into habits like my morning smoke I stop and let go of the past and live here as the commitment and choice I make to quit smoking.

I commit myself to when and as I see myself experiencing anxiety and stress I stop and realize that I am the one who is creating my experience thru wanting to fulfill the need to smoke.

I commit myself to when and as I see myself going into reactions of fear when I am faced with triggers that will make me want to smoke like driving in my car, I stop and let go of the patterns that I have solidified with my being thru defining myself by and as these patterns.

I commit myself to when and as I see myself using ideas that I define as positive as a place to hide and secure myself with to hide and suppress the real madness that is actually going on in my head I stop and face the madness that is going in my head so that I can see that positive thinking don't make the madness go away, it only hides it and allows it to continue to exits.

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