So I have started a new job at a grocery store up the street from where I am living. I am about to go in I wanted to make a quick post about smoking. I decided to quit about a week ago then went out with some friends and there was alcohol present. The person who was buying I looked up to and found myself partisipating in the drinking. I have an assosiation with drinking and smoking so I did smoke and after that night I was pretty upset about it because I had gone 5 days and was off to a good start. well. I do not want to smoke anymore I don't enjoy being addicted to it so today I am stopping. I smoked up untill I went to bed last night. I hate the shortness of breath throat hurting getting sick longer. I also have already had cancer so its pretty dumb to smoke. I did some self forgiveness when I woke up I was thinking about smoking almost immediately when I woke up. I am going to continue to do self forgiveness and support myself through breath. Realizing my thoughts are but a part of a system that I can choose to not participate in, should make this process easier. When I get off today I want to talk some more on here about addiction and the "addict" its been interesting hearing about how people quit in NA, I personally can not admit that I am powerless, which is the first step of the 12 step program. If anyone is interested in researching narcotics anonymous just google it
I've found that one can't stop addictions through fighting oneself. So within stopping it is to make a clear decisions within oneself and then 'the rest' is simply a matter of following through with that decision. As such, if the decision is to stop smoking - the main point of how one will actually stop is to simply not do it. So every time the thought comes up, one simply stick to one's decision and don't do it. I can relate very much to the constant struggle one can experience and I've found that in such struggling it is because I wasn't actually clear in my decisions. It was like I expected that the decision would 'take care of it' while in fact it is a constant re-commitment one has to make. As such feeling guilty, judging oneself and fighting with oneself won't actually assist one to stop - often it will rather lead one to waver in one's decision because one is trying to fight oneself - instead of standing self-directive within the decision one has made.
With regards to the 12 step program, I suggest simply taking what is good and leaving the rest. If the premise of participating in the program is to admit that one is powerless and you see that this is not valid in some respects, you could look at redefining the point for yourself - for example as follows: I realize that I've given power to this addiction where the addictions/thoughts/energies is what is currently what is directing me, while I am not directing myself. As such I commit myself to walk a process of establishing self-direction as self-power to make decisions for myself based on common sense and not based on energetic experiences/desires/urges.
Thanks for sharing - let us know how it goes!