I would love some assistance on walking the self forgiveness and self corrective statements on past relationships. I still have memories pop into my head quite often of my ex and its really not enjoyable or productive in any way.
There's really no difference between applying self-forgiveness on past relationships or anything else, because basically what we're living in/through/as the mind IS the past, as all thoughts/backchats/experiences that come up are based on the past. So the difference can simply be in the intensity or the frequency of the experience or for example here where you are experiencing certain memories popping out.
So it is simply to 'jump into it' from one end to another - for example starting with:
"I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to react within and as going into an emotional experience when and as I see memories of a past relationships popping up, through which I'd validate the memories as real and thus make them more within and as myself through deliberately participate within and as them."
"I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to torture myself with memories through accepting and allowing myself to participate within the memories and react to them and define myself here according to them, where all I become is that memory, instead of seeing, realizing and understanding that there is no practical reason to participate in memories or to reminisce about the past and that I am in fact only abusing myself and disregarding myself here."
"I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that if I participate in the memories and let myself sink into them and react to them with generating emotional experiences within myself, I can go back to the past and change it - even though I know that this is not possible and that I am in fact abusing myself instead of seeing, realizing and understanding that the only way I can sort this point out, is by in fact allowing myself to let go of the past and start anew here, beginning with simply not participating or reacting when and as the memories pop up"
"I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to participate in memories that pop up of a past relationship, where I'll literally reminisce and dwell in the past and because of this will separate myself from myself here and from what is here where I in fact live in the past instead of live here, instead of seeing, realizing and understanding that what is done is done and that I cannot go back to the past and that what I am able to change is my experience of myself here."
"I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to create a relationship within myself towards a past relationship where I experience that I've lost a part of myself in/to that past relationship where I'd deliberately participate in memories so as to attempt to get back that which I believe that I have lost, instead of seeing, realizing and understanding that I was here all along and that I in this relationship separated myself from myself and projected parts of myself onto the relationship and onto another human being, which is why I now believe that a part of me is lost and can only be regained by getting back into that relationship - instead of seeing, realizing and understanding that I have the opportunity here to develop and embrace that within and as myself which I had projected onto the relationship/another and as such that by constantly reminiscing over what I believe to be lost, I am not in fact giving myself the opportunity to get to know myself and realize that that which I sought in another was actually in and as me all along."
"I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not see, realize or understand that the way the mind functions is based on memories that we create relationships towards, through separating parts of ourselves into and as these memories and relationships where we'll literally live and exist in the past through/as/within our minds, where we'll disregard what is here in and as the physical and ourselves here, so as to make sure that we remain existent as the mind and do not step out of the programs within which we're holding ourselves in and as the mind - and that it is therefore that these memories constantly pop up: it is a function of the mind that works based on my participation and investment of myself in the past through the relationships I've created to the past - where I in fact don't want to let go.
"I forgive myself that I've accepted and allowed myself to not see, realize and understand that the only reason the memories have a hold on me as I would experience it, is in fact because I don't want to let go of the past, because I still hope that I can get back to the past - instead of assisting and supporting myself to see that what is done is done and the only point I can change: is myself here."
"I forgive myself that I've accepted and allowed myself to not see, realize and understand that the memories will not go away and that it is up to me to actively and directively step in and assist and support myself through stopping my reactions towards the memories and to stop participating in the memories."
So you can simply take it as such from one end to another - and then prescribe self-commitment and self-corrective statements for yourself for example in terms of assisting and supporting yourself to stop participating in the memories.
I have experienced this extensively towards a point in the past that I experienced regret towards, where I was holding onto the past instead of letting it go and it was like literal daily torture where I would sink completely into these memories and drown myself in them - deliberately. I eventually realized that this was absolutely pointless and that I was only abusing myself and so I simply started stopping participating in the memories and the experiences towards them, so every time the memory would pop up, I'd have that understanding of "I know where this is going and it's pointless" so I simply stopped and moved my attention away and slowly but surely the intensity started dissipating and so when the memories come up now I can much more easily simply stop.
I find myself to be at conflict with the idea of the portal and weather or not it is real, this conflict was one of the main reasons why I started doing my own thing. I started reasearching into occultism and the satanist philosophy. It was interesting to hear satanists perspective on equality, they do not believe that humans are equal and that there is always going to be rulers and slaves type of world. I also did not know that there are actually people that practice magick and rituals and all kinds of weird shit. I think that allot of younger people are going to turn to satanism and other occult time religions as time progresses because there are so many people that consider themselves as non-spiritual but at the same time are looking for somthing so that they can understand how the world works and why things are the way they are and also there is a temptation element to it as well were you see the powerfull famous rich people that are involved in the occult or satanism. I think with the internet the information is available to young people in a way it never has been. So. I was actually considering following the crowley philosophy but the problem with all of these things is they only benifit me and that is not what I want. Still I am at conflict with the idea of the portal and accepting that it is real. I was actually talking to a friend last night about sacretes the philosopher and he was telling me about the cave allegory, well more like walking me through it. I bring it up because its very interesting to me, we are in this box (our senses) that limits our perception and if we unfold the box we can not actually imagine what outside of the box is like because we have been within the box our whole lives and trust that the box is real. So according to that the portal could be real it could not be real, from the research I have done I at one point believed it is real now I just don't know. There is so much conflicting information in the world its rediculus.
With regards to this point with the portal - I suggest having a look at if this 'doubt' is something you use inside yourself as an excuse and justification for not actually applying yourself FOR yourself. Because in the end - does it matter where the information comes from? Why is the portal the 'breaking point' for you to decide whether or not to apply and change yourself? So I suggest that this is a point to look at for yourself in self-honesty. Because there's a reason you keep coming back, which is that you see and understand - and have tested for yourself - that the tools of writing, self-forgiveness, breathing and self-corrective application works and is effective towards changing oneself. Whether or not the portal is real is from this perspective irrelevant and I'd suggest to have a look at how you're creating and using that doubt within yourself deliberately to not have to face yourself.
I'd say that the next step here Sean, is to start applying self-forgiveness. You got the tools. You got the support. The rest is up to you.
I suggest signing up for the FREE Desteni I Process Lite course
. Because within that you'll be able to write yourself out in a supportive structure with the support from a buddy. In many of the assignments you can decide for yourself what to write about, so that is a cool opportunity to walk this point of the past relationship in a structured way.