Mats writing myself to freedom

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Mats Bjornsti
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Re: Mats writing myself to freedom

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https://iwillindeed.wordpress.com/2018/ ... upport-2/ Osho card reading self support 2

Using; The Diamond layout

1. The Issue : WE ARE THE WORLD
2. Internal influence that you are unable to see : GUIDANCE
3. External influence of which you are aware : NEW VISION
4. What is needed for a resolution : NO-THINGNESS
5. Resolution / The understanding : INTEGRATION

Here I’ll describe how I reflected the osho cards back to myself.

Nr 1 = WE ARE THE WORLD! After reading the commentary of this card, I’m left a bit confused as to how I can reflect it back to me, but I’ll do my best. Reminding myself that this is the issue, and so, it’s no secret that the world is in a miserable state. And that includes me, I see the longing for connection coming up, and a tiredness about all these issues we have created. I want it to stop, am sure all of us, at least deep down want our deceptiveness to stop, so that we can face what we’ve done and change it, even though it will be the hardest thing we’ll ever do.

The commentary of the card says that <<Life has been given to you to create, rejoice, and celebrate. And that when you cry and weep, you are alone. When you celebrate the whole existance participates with you.>> And so the phrase ”none are free until we all are free comes up.” As I see the problem as all as one, individually as existentially. The commentary of the card also says that <<This card represents a time of communication. Sharing the wisdom each of us brings to the whole. There is no clinging here, no grasping. It’s a circle without fear of feelings of inferiority and superiority.>>

Time of communication… I’m always open to communicate, even though I’m very reserved and to my self most of the time. I see some challenges in me opening up, but here I am at least.

Nr 2 = Now over to the internal influence that I’m unable to see, which is GUIDANCE. It says that <<The truth of your own deepest being is trying to show you where to go right now.>> Also that <<You have to look for guidance because you don’t know your inner guide is hidden inside you, and that’s what I call your witness.>>

Now the word Self Honesty come up within me. Where I see that self honesty is not a 9 to 5 thing, where I can just sometimes tap into a little bit of self honesty and everything will be fine, that’s not how it works. Breathing, living and expressing self honesty radically by investigating everything about myself that I think, feel, and do as to change entails being self honest as the living word. And thus I see this as a sign to walk my process to study myself, and stop that which is not good. Which is exactly why I support what the group Desteni is all about.

Nr 3 = External influence of which I am aware. Which is New vision. It starts off by saying, <<The figure on this card is being born anew, emerging from his earthbound roots and growing wing to fly into the unbounded. Now you are presented with the opportunity to see life in all it’s dimensions, from the depths to the heights. And when we come to know from experience that the dark and the difficult are needed as much as the light and easy, then we begin to have a very different perspective on the world. By allowing all of life’s colors to penerate us, we become more integrated. You are no longer an ordanary human being – you have trancended. Your insights has become the insight of the whole exsistence. Now you are no longer separated – you have found your roots.>>

Yes, the experiences and points that is difficult and overwhelming to face, that seem easier to supress as means to an end. I’ve often separated myself in a state of either inferiority or superiority towards a situation or memory of a past experience, as a means to supress it by superimposing a state of mind that thrive relating to the deception that I see in the outside world. Eventually it all comes back again and again untill I embrace it, and deal with it for what it is. By seeing, realizing and understanding what, why, how, and who I am in relation to the experiences then and now. Which the desteni material along with the tools provided there, supply the support I need to support myself in stopping, letting go, and changing myself. It’s tuff, for sure – not to let that become an excuse.

Nr 4 = What is needed for resolution – NO-THINGNESS… It says that <<Nothingness is not just nothingness, it is all. It is vibrant with all possibilities. It’s potential, absolute potential. It is unmanifest yet, but it contains all. In the beginning was nature, in the end is nature, so why in the middle mke so much fuzz? Why in the middle becoming so worried, so anxious, so ambitious – why create such despair? Nothingness to nothingness is the whole journey.>>

The fuzz the fuzz – being all over the place – rushing, worrying, stressing, imagining, you name it! Yes, this is what the 7 year journey to life is about coming to grips with. Writing to see what one is participating in as the mind, that want to serve all these wants, needs and desires within energtic experineces. So thus it’s to stop the mind, see what is holding you in a state of illusion/delusion. Like a cloud over your head, a burden that nags continues, leading to a state of hope that something will happen, only to eventually cause disempowerment. Instead of slowing self down, stopping, breathing, finding the practical solutions one can walk, in and as the principles of what is best for all. Where the Self forgiveness and practical application commitments comes in. So that one do not waste the time, energy, and life on what could have, should have been. I see this as prominent point within my life experience. Where life is but a dream, waiting to happen. So here I’m looking at being the change, stopping the mind, not using it unless I need it as a tool to assist me, with what it is I’m doing to be the change I’d like to see.

Nr 5 = Resolution / The Understanding is INTEGRATION. Okay, here’s some pointers that stick out to me, as it says. <<This is a time of communication between the previously experienced dualities of life. The eagle and the swan are both beings of the flight and majesty. The eagle is the embodiment of power and aloneness. The swan is the embodiment of space and purity. We are a union of eagle and swan: male and female, fire and water, life and death. The card of integration is the symbol of self creation, new life, and mystical union; otherwise known as alchemy. THE CONFLICT IS IN MAN. Unless it is resovled there, it cannot be resovled anywhere else. The politics is within you; it is between the two parts of the mind. A very small bridge exists. If that bridge is broken through some accident, through some physiological defect or something else, the person becomes split, the person becomes two persons – and the phenomenon of schizophrenia or split personality happens. If the bridge is broken – and the bridge is very frigale – then you become two, you behave like two personas.>>

Now reflecting this back to me. I’m reminding myself that number five – integration as the understanding/resolution is actually about number four – What is needed for resolution, which is No-thingness… Which makes sense… I’ve had knee pain in the last few days, still have especially if I fuck around in the mind. And it struck me earlier today that, I should go look up what this is indicating. As am aware of Veno’s structural book. Now I can read the following;

<<Within the KNEE points exist the crystallization of past experiences – contained as memories that are crystallized in the KNEE points, which are referred to as: The Now of Consciousness System.

This works as follows: Your thoughts, the act of thinking, your personality and behaviour as actions and reactions are thought/memory based. The entire structural resonance within and as human beings is memory/past based as you define ‘who you are’ within the System through past experiences as memories which you ‘hold onto’ which ‘assist and support you’ through this life here on earth within this systematic consciousness reality.>>
http://desteni.org/desteni-material/blo ... -2-phase-8

This thus entails who and what I’ve accepted and allowed myself to define me within the mind through past experiences in and as the now of consciousness. Thus I see I have to forgive myself for those allowances and cross reference the knee pain in time to come.
I’m intrigued, because this is my first time dealing with pain points in relation to my mind-body relationship. Now I am aware that, nr 4 – nothingness is my resolution point, or as veno describes it – <<to stand within and as oneness and equality in complete presence and awareness of who you are within and as the silence of sound with every breath and what it means to stand up and take responsibility for all as one as equal. / Existing moment to moment with every breath as presence as who you are.>>

Self forgiveness

I forgive myself that I haven’t accepted and allowed myself to see, realize and understand that my personality and behaviors resulting in actions and reactions are thought/memory based.

I forgive myself that I haven’t allowed myself to see that my structural resonance within and as me, is based on constant bombardment of past memories as what I define ‘who I am’ within the system, through past experiences as memories. Which I ‘hold onto’ in fear of loss to ‘assist and support me through this life here on earth within this systematic consciousness reality. – like a double edged sword – because none are free untill all are free.

I forgive myself that I haven’t accepted and allowed myself to see, realize and understand that most communication has become nothing more than passing on past memory experiences conducted to convince those we would want, need and desire to gain something from within self interest. Like information, money, sex, or friendship that thus has become the living conditioning as within so without. Hence, we then fear loosing that which we’ve managed to gain as self interest – personality constructs, that self has played oneself into believing makes sense, and thus define as the only thing that’s real, based on all the gains collected, which then becomes proof that our interactions as a mind consciousness system is justified within validation from others as the external. In spite of the existential physical reflection that is here, showing the consequence of lacking consideration in our interactive communication.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to dwell on the past as the now of consciousness, bringing myself into a state of depression and misery for what I as this world have become. Instead of living here within practical solutions that I see I can contribute with to the whole, as solutions that is best for all. Living the solution to my problems, instead of further causing more problems as the problem.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to cause tiredness without seeing, realizing and understanding that through my mind I give all my power away to the now of consciousness as thoughts, feelings, emotions, ideas, beliefs, that is memory based through past experiences of positive and negative charges that I later react to. Instead of forgiving myself for my doings and stopping myself to release everything that stands in the way of me living here within and as breath where nothing moves but the silence of sound in me as nothingness.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to think and believe that I must be preoccupied with something in the mind to not loose myself, not seeing that I must lose that character personality which fears loosing to realize and remember who I am.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to think a point is easy just because it’s simple, not seeing, realizing and understanding that the mind within memories will always attempt to trap me to live as ego. Wherein I have not released myself from a point of self interest.

I forgive myself that I have not accepted and allowed myself to see, realize and understand that how most relationships exist, is only but two minds emerged in an experience or in past memory experiences sharing thoughts, feelings, emotions, belief’s, and ideas. Based on each parts past memory experiences that each part relate, forming an energetic imprint towards in the memory. And thus experience a connection through the now of consciousness within an energetic polarity based on the past memories of experiences one have had. Instead of recognizing each other as one and equal to all this is here, where relationships stand in and as physical union – companionship in and as the breath of life here equally. To express through infinite sound instead of limited energetic influences based in polarity.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to resist the ‘now of consciousness’ within having to face and take self responsability for my acceptances and allowances. Not seeing, realizing and understanding that I exist within self judgment/self diminishment/disempowerment when I resist what has become a part of me inside and out.

I forgive myself that I haven’t accepted and allowed myself to see that what I resist persists as an experience within the ‘now of consciousness’.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to judge myself for the process of having to walk points. Not seeing, realizing and understanding that there is an underlying resistance/friction between becoming someone who I think I should be. Instead of seeing that who I am is and have always been here, in the unknown of nothingness.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to think and believe that I am defined by anything or anyone in exsistance.

I forgive myself that I haven’t accepted and allowed myself to see, and realize that I am responsible for everything that is here in existence by the fact that I am here in the power I have to change myself.

I forgive myself that I haven’t accepted and allowed myself to see, realize and understand the extent of self limitation when occupied in the ‘now of consciousness’, instead of the unlimited potential of nothingness here.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to think, believe and precieve that nothingness is separate from the now of consciousness. And that I must resist the mind, instead of embracing it and changing my starting point from an energetic experience, to nothingness from which all encompass.

I forgive myself that I haven’t accepted and allowed myself to see, realize and understand that the starting point of self interest resonates from a turbulent, muddy water, whereas the starting point of what is best for all resonates in the pure, untampered water from which all things becomes possible and unlimited.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear the unknown, within the ‘now of consciousness’ as past memory experiences occupying my pressence. Instead of seeing, realizing and understanding that is the mechanism in fear of loss to remain trapped in the ‘now of consciousness’.

I forgive myself that I haven’t accepted and allowed myself to see and realize and understand that what is known in this world, is only what is owned. Where possession as self interest – knowledge, information, money, power, and greed is all based on the ‘now of consciousness’ as past memory experiences. Repeating itself into new infinate cycles of destruction in fear of losing self interest within separation from all as one and equal. Indicating that either we change through common sense, self responsability as what is best for all. Or we’ll be forced to loose all the we own and known as an actual experience, to face our deception of living in separation from what is here.

I forgive myself that I haven’t accepted and allowed myself to see, realize and understand that the silence of sound is equvilant to clear, clean, pure water that is able to take on any shape and form within expression without being defined by anyone or anything. Self deception is defined by something and someone, as someone/somethingness that only self limitate and procrastinate the act of self responsability for what is here.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to think and believe I possess words. Instead of seeing, realizing and understanding that I had to install these words from those who came before me. Thus it does not define me, yet it’s my responsability to decide who I am in relation to how I live the words.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to define myself according to thoughts, words and deeds, creating an idea of myself that is based on experience of the past existing in the ‘now of consciousness’. Instead of realizing that I’m limited by whatever I define myself according to. Yet always responsable.
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Mats Bjornsti
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Re: Mats writing myself to freedom

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https://iwillindeed.wordpress.com/2018/ ... upport-3/
Osho Card Reading – Self Support 3

Using; The Diamond layout

1. The Issue : MORALITY
2. Internal influence that you are unable to see : INTENSITY
3. External influence of which you are aware : FLOWERING
4. What is needed for a resolution : NEW VISION
5. Resolution / The understanding : CELEBRATION

Here I’ll describe how I reflected the osho cards back to myself.

NR 1 = Morality, now I’m looking at how I’am exsisting in this restricted logic of what’s right and wrong, good and bad within myself. I have to stop. And bring forth the awareness of myself here in every moment. Stop judging myself within what’s okay or not okay. Who am I letting the mind decide…

NR 2 = Intensity, no second guessing, here I come! No more great words, this is me, unfiltered. Going from here. I must find me, my source. Not somewhere out there, oh no, in the presence of me in every breath.

NR 3 = Flowering. The seed is grown now. I have to stop the stuttering of self doubt, I can walk, I can talk, I can breathe. My precense is my present, open it up and I WILL inDEED. I’ve yearned for people in my life that want something more out of life as I do, people who do not abuse substances, including alcohol… People who are clean like me, and looking at how to get the rest of this messy world cleaned up. It’s time to reach out…

NR 4 = New Vision. It’s up to me, I see it. Yes I’m here, I have not reach out. Watch out. Cause there is much work to be done in this world. And as the song goes; You’re a builder baby, here I am a stone. Don’t you pick and refuse me, cause the things people refuse are the things they should use. The stone that the builder refused, will always be the headcorner stone… Take no offence to what I say here, I’m just expressing my visions pertaining to the potential I see within.

NR 5 = Celebration. Let the past be the past. I don’t hold it against you, I don’t mourn nore hold grudges. Let’s create something above and beyond self imposed limitations, individually and together. And let’s do it with passion, let’s have fun, let’s enjoy our self while doing what we do. Let’s make a masterplan and execute!

Self forgiveness

NR 1:

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to exsist within a restricted logic of right and wrong, good and bad, instead of walking myself within self trust of each breath. To consistantly take responsability for me as all as one and equal within the principles of what is best for all.

When and as I see myself within and as the construct’s of, I can’t say that, I can’t do this, what if this what if that. I commit myself to stop, breathe, and remind myself to live in trust of me here in every breath of every moment. Moving myself one point at a time towards the goal and outcome I commit to.

NR 2:

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to filter myself to use big words, without living them one and equal as me here in every moment of breath as an expression of me here.

When and as I see myself disempowered by what I precieve to be big words from which I judge myself less than. I commit myself to stop, breathe, find myself here and decide what I can do to manifest myself as one with these words in self awareness.

NR 3:

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to exist as self doubt within and as the mind, not seeing realizing and understanding that I can walk, talk, breathe, and partcipate within common sense.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to feel the need to depend on others for what I can think, say and do, instead of seeing where, what and how I can create my self and life to where I become a productive, persistent living example that contribute to the greater good.

When and as I see myself feeling the need for someone or something within my life, I commit myself to stop, breathe, and stick to the practical deal in where I’m able to do what I can with what I have in each moment.

I commit myself to not use others as an excuse as to why I cannot do something.
I commit myself to be the initiator for the change I’d like to see.

NR 4 =

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to leave my life in other peoples hands, without questioning who I am within that equation. Not seeing, realzing and understanding that I’m dealing with hoping and wishing things was different. I am the builder, I am the stone, I either pick myself up or I refuse to do so.

When and as I see myself projecting something out there into the future, based on the past. I commit myself to stop, breathe, and realize that I always have to bring everything back to myself. And deal with whatever is right here preoccupying me in the mind, in each and every single moment of breath and beyond.

When and as I see myself wishing and hoping things was different I commit myself to stop, breathe, and realize that I am the cause and effect for things not being different. I commit myself to remind myself that it is my responsability to be the change I want to see.

NR 5 =

I commit myself to stop any self imposed limitations that I hold against myself by utlizing self forgiveness and practical application.

I commit myself to reach out and support people who want this world to be the best place it can be for all.

I commit myself to walk my talk and talk my walk to the best for my ability within each and every single moment of breath here, as that which is best for all.
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Mats Bjornsti
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Re: Mats writing myself to freedom

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https://iwillindeed.wordpress.com/2018/ ... support-4/

Osho Card Reading – Self Support 4

Using; The Diamond layout

1. The Issue : TRAVELING
2. Internal influence that you are unable to see : RIPENESS
3. External influence of which you are aware : FLOWERING
4. What is needed for a resolution : BEYOND ILLUSION
5. Resolution / The understanding : BREAKTHROUGH

Here I’ll describe how I reflected the osho cards back to myself.

NR 1. THE ISSUE – (Traveling)
”If only this, then that” is a phrase that pop up looking at this card. ”So when that, then what?”… I’m looking at my logic within excuses and justifications. The things that I use in the mind to hold me back. The issue of travelig represents no self movement.

Nr 2. INTERNAL INFLUENCE THAT YOU ARE UNABLE TO SEE – (Ripeness)
<<You are ready to share you inner riches, your juice.>>…

Nr 3. EXTERNAL INFLUENCE OF WHICH YOU ARE AWARE – (Flowering)
Interestingly, the same card, in the same place as yesterday. I see myself not living the words like communication, compassion, understanding, sharing, recieving, love thy neighboor as thy self in it’s fullest potential. Within that I can see how people may doubt me as an individual, as I’ve done, within reacting to how people react to me. And then brought myself in a state of constant bombardment of self judgment, projections, self pity, and isolation.

Nr 4. WHAT IS NEEDED FOR A RESOLUTION – (Beyond illusion)
This I comprehend as breaking through my illusions and delusions. And looking within myself and see how much of the external/without is and has influenced me to become who, what and how I am today. That is influencing me in ways I cannot see. So the words, self awareness and self movement within self honesty thus becomes the challenge to walk within and as.

Nr 5. Resolution / The understanding : BREAKTHROUGH
As the card describes it’s about turning breakdowns into breakthroughs, I see it as facing the danger, the chaos, the risks, the fears, and who I think I am with regards to how I’ve defined myself based on experiences of myself in the past. This require standing up without guaranties of what is to come. And this goes back to what I spoke of in number one, my logic/reasoning with regards to excuses and justifications. That there is a self movement that needs to happen.

Self forgiveness

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to subject my thoughts, words, and deeds into logic based on excuses and justifications, instead of seeing the common sense that change can only happen within breaking cycles of what have become habits and patterns that represent the nature of me in the mind.

I forgive myself that I haven’t accepted and allowed myself to see, realize and understand that to share, often mean to break down the barriers that has become a comfort zone. And allowing for vulnerability within the act of caring, in the principle of what is best for all.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to live within a lesser expression of what I’m capable of with regards to living words, instead I can see that where loving thy neighboor as thyself becomes the starting point for self expansion within self movement I’m assisting and supporting myself as others, and others as myself.

I forgive myself that I have not seen, realized and understood that when and as I react to others, within how they react to me, it’s indicating that I have not been self honest, and taken all as one as me into consideration as what is best for all.

I forgive myself that I haven’t accepted and allowed myself to see, realize and understand that I’ve exisited within highs and lows for most of my life, and thus chased my something and someone out there in order to get to somewhere that I think and believe will set my self free from what I experience inside.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to deny the awareness I have in myself by continuously placing excuses and justifications within projections as ideas as to why I can or cannot do something. Instead of seeing, realizing and understanding that self movement can only occur when and as I move myself in self honestly with regards to what I am able to do in each moment of breath.

Self Commitments

When and as I see myself diminishing myself through excuses and justifications that are based on the problems I face individually within the existential. I commit myself to stop, breathe, and realize that this is repetative programming that is swaying the focus away from what I am able to do here and now in each and every moment. Thus I commit myself to stop that logic, and act within what I am able to bring forth for solutions as myself.

When and as I see myself holding on to my comfort zone, I commit myself to stop, breathe, and realize that I am existing within an reciving end posistion wherein I am leaching from that which is here, without giving back in equality and oneness as that which is best for all. Thus I commit myself to give as I would like to recieve as loving thy neighbor as thy self.

When and as I see myself not living words one and equal in thought, word and deed as that which is best for all. I commit myself to stop, breathe, realize and remind myself that I am exisiting within points of self interest, where I have separated myself from the oneness and equality that the physical stand as through the act of thinking and reasoning. Thus I commit myself to change myself by living words one and equal within the principle of that which is best for all.

When and as I see myself reacting to others, within how they react to me, I commit myself myself to see, realize and understand that it’s indicating for me that I am not living my fullest potential self honestly, wherein I take all as one as me into consideration as what is best for all and act according to what I see, realize and understand require to get done to manifest solutions that can bring about a life where all life is regarded as equal.

When and as I see myself continuously placing excuses and justification within projections and ideas as to why I can or cannot do something. I commit myself to stop, breathe, realize and remind myself that I am either my own best friend or my own worst enemy from the perspective of living as the problem or solution within either self interest or what is best for all. Within that I commit myself to stand by the principle of oneness and equality as that which is best for all.

When and as I see myself deny the awareness of myself by continuosly placing excuses and justifications within projoections and ideas as to why I can or cannot do something. I commit myself to stop, breathe, realize and remind myself that self movement as who I am have never been able to be expressed. Thus I commit myself to move myself in self honesty within awareness of where, what and how my starting point is coming from when and as I act in thought, word and deed, to take self responsability for who I am within and without and change myself according to the principle of what is best for all.
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Mats Bjornsti
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Re: Mats writing myself to freedom

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https://iwillindeed.wordpress.com/2018/ ... f-honesty/

I’m having a look at my relationship to the word courage, cause the word and what it means from what I understand it as in this moment in time brings up a slight fear. The fear is based on standing alone within principle regardless of anyone or anything. That takes courage, or at least makes sense at to what living the word courage means for me, without having looked up the definition of it. And also, living courage is thus bravery, which is also another word that connects within me in relation to what I’m opening up. Why I’m writing about these specific words is because of the interview that was done on eqafe called scoliosis.

I’m specifically working on these specific words to apply myself and change within those words, in relation to the tools Desteni presents which is within the principle of what is best for all.

So having a look back at my life, and how it has turned out up until this point I see how these words is and have been misdirected within me as to how I’ve lived my life. The point for me and anyone is always self honesty, self responsibility and corrective application thereof with regards to living one’s utmost potential as that which is best for all, within whatever limitations one faces regarding social status, practical recourses, and placement in the money system. So regardless of that, I’m here, able to write these words on a computer, and share myself to myself and others in the same position as of now or later.

Just considering that in itself, it’s obvious that I can self honestly state that I’ve been discouraging myself along the way after being presented with this knowledge that requires self direction, dedication, and action. Which also brings out the word self-love. In the context of not caring for myself, interestingly. Cause from my conscience standpoint, there’s been projections externally that I have deemed as not worthy to care about, and rather dismiss as too much of a hassle and effort to even involve myself with by using energy on. Which when bringing that mindset back to myself, I can see that it’s THE point of what I’m doing to myself. Not living self-care or self-love if you will, in a way that I’m actually standing up to what I see is misaligned with the principle of that which is best for all and thus who I am within it in relation to the whole of existence. Even opening up this point for myself is somewhat draining, when I start to think about what that involves within effort and dedication, as well as sacrificing points that stands within self-interest. And so, I’m facing what seems to be an enormous task ahead of me from the minds perspective, that it’s seems tempting and easier to just let it slide and instead go with what my wants, needs and desires are right now. That’s what I’ve fell into as a pattern over and over as I review my life. Discouraging myself instead of encouraging myself to do what I am able to, self honestly. Thus, that’s the challenge I’ll have to sort out in a common sensical, practical way in relation to living my utmost potential. I see also that it’s what everyone faces no matter where and who you are.

Now, I breathe, and realize that I can only work with what is here right now, one breath at a time, moment by moment, day by day. And within that we can see our limitation as to how much we actually can be able to do within each day. Which is also a cool context of reference to ground oneself within, by not falling into despair and giving up, In the next post I’ll keep moving deeper into the points I just opened up for myself to look at in the next posts. I will take a word, look at my relation to the word in how and what my conditioning is to the word, forgive, redefine, and commit myself to integrate and live the word within the principle of what’s best for all. So here the list of the words I will be working on from now in the time to come.
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Re: Mats writing myself to freedom

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https://iwillindeed.wordpress.com/2018/ ... -courage/

Courage
the quality of mind or spirit that enables a person to face difficulty, danger, pain, etc., without fear;bravery.
Obsolete . the heart as the source of emotion.
have the courage of one’s convictions , to act in accordance with one’s beliefs, especially in spite of criticism.

Having a look at the word courage for myself, in how I would like to live that word. By reading the definition of the word, what comes up is ‘having the courage to face my fears and go beyond the limitation that comes with remaining limited within points of fear. The challenges will be to do something that I fear doing, as a starter, one point at a time. Within a common sense assessment of what, when it comes up in my day to day life.

As an example, I fear lightening when it’s close by. I will go into a fear mongering state of mind, where I’ll stay in my mind evaluating my every move as to how I can stay the safest away from harms way. And that’s okay in a way, but then I will also, imagine everything that might happen, and what IF lightning will strike down where I am. Which is really an unnecessary point of fear mongering that I can in courage correct by stopping my mind and breathe. Or it can be bugs and insects I fear stinging me, by projecting what might happen IF I do not make sure to be alert to make sure it won’t happen. Things like that, all the what IF’s that fears feed into.

Thus, my courage to face my fears, by stopping the fears, that really don’t serve me is something I’ll encourage myself to change about myself. Cause I mean, as I look back at my life, with all the time and energy I spent in a state of fear, my body tenses up, my breathing patterns change, I go into stress, etc. And when whatever triggered my fear goes away, I realize that there was no use in me going into fear in the first place. As been said, fear is usually ”false evidence appearing real”. Which is why I commit myself to in those moments, stop the FEAR in the mind, and courageously be HERE. If I’m unable to stop myself I can in those moments use the tools of Self forgiveness to support myself.

Yet courage is more than just facing fears, it’s also having the courage to live the word in and as it self in relation to all other words. Taking the courage to self honesty see who I am in any given moment in relation to what I face. And assess what I will and will not accept and allow from myself. And take self responsibility to stand up and change within whatever IT is. Courage!
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Mats Bjornsti
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Re: Mats writing myself to freedom

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https://iwillindeed.wordpress.com/2018/ ... rmination/

Having a look at determination. What comes up is how I will approach tasks within my thought, word and deeds to get things done in a way that supports myself to strengthen myself in way that does not compromise my mind, body and being, where I go into ego about what it is I’m doing or about to do. So like, I have task now at hand, where my job is to pluck all the grassroots that has come up in a field where I planted potato. Now what happened last week when I was plucking grass was that, I went into the mindset of, let’s get this done ASAP, get it out of the way and move on. That day, the sun was scorching hot, and I ended up getting a mild fever the next day, feeling weak and tired from what I put my body through.

I see that, I rather want to use common sense, interact with my body as I’m doing something, and listen to what signals comes through. Which I ignored that day working in the field. I almost passed out a few times where I blacked out for a second here and there, which was the indication that I better stop immediately, and attend to what my body needs for this moment. So, I’m still in the process of getting the job done as I speak. So today I’m going about this in a different way, where I will go out and take one moment at a time, for like 15 minutes, then see and decide if I can go on plucking for another 15 minutes after that. And dependent on the weather, how hot the sun is, etc, I will work in relation to what does not compromise my health and the work I’m doing.

Thus, I determine what will be the best outcome for me and the quality of work I’m doing. Another aspect I’d like to touch on is in relation to my mind, where I’d like to live determined in what I accept and allow to control my thoughts, words and deeds. Access practically what I’m able to work on when I have time available as me time, to open up points that comes up and deal with them self honest, to change myself to create a better version of myself, where I take on points that I’m not satisfied with in how I operate and interact with myself and others, as well as my environment.

I’d like to gift myself with the determination to get to my destination, where the destination and my process thereof is determined by determining what is the terms and conditions I can change, implement and go by to get better, and allow an outcome I can be proud of to have walked for myself. Thus creating a purpose for determination as myself.
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Re: Mats writing myself to freedom

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https://iwillindeed.wordpress.com/2018/ ... d-healing/

I’m looking at the point of healing for myself, and how I can assist myself to walk process consistently while at the same time be unconditional in how I learn from what experiences I’m walking through. So I’d like to have the starting point of genuinely taking care of myself within all aspects I’m facing within me, that is limiting me from expanding my life into a tangible, real, practical change that develops the best version of myself.

That’s means I will have to allow myself to go out of my comfort zones, mind patterns, habits, etc and challenge myself in new ways to learn from experiences and decide my own outcome from which I came.So, how I will live healing is to open up myself to myself and learning how I will deal with the points of challenges I face each day. Taking care of my mind, body and being by directing myself within self honesty for and as myself, one and equal.

I’d like to live the word healing for myself by getting to know myself, my body and mind, holistically, where I take initiative to investigate how my body communicate within and as the physical and metaphysical, as well as in relations to foods and medicines. Where I can experiment within common sense and find out what works or not, within the extent to what I’m actually able to support myself with. Most importantly develop the relationship with my body that honor my self and body optimally.

The point of healing will be to do and be the best me with what I have at any given time. I’d like to align myself to learn how I can best use my mind as a tool to support myself and others within the principle of giving as I’d like to receive, honoring myself and others to the utmost, by using the tools of writing, self forgiveness, and corrective application in self honesty.

Self forgivness

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not realize that the nature of my mind as thoughts, feelings and emotions, will have an impact on how my body accumulates physical consequences.

I forgive myself that I haven’t accepted and allowed the self responsibility to trust my body with stopping my mind and just breathing, feeling my finger tips, and toes, grounding myself, and work on being physically aware by directing my attention away from the mind and into the physical, to from there open up and learn how to communicate one and equal with the physical.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to take my body for granted by not honoring the health it provides me with to do all that things I’m able to do.

When and as I see myself drifting into the mind and or experience feelings and emotional states, I commit myself to stop, breathe, and figure out what points I’m dealing with on a mental and physical level, to look at the connection between what the mind is experiencing as well as how it transfers to the physical by ways of sensations I can pick up from such moments.

When and as I see myself experiencing a depressive state, I commit myself to stop, breathe and look at what the mood is presenting about what I accept and allow to control my experience in that moment, as to look at all the things I take for granted, that is here, and rather look at what I’m able to be grateful for in a way where I can direct myself to live in that grace of gratitude instead of an apathetic ungratefulness.
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Re: Mats writing myself to freedom

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https://iwillindeed.wordpress.com/2018/ ... tefulness/

Today I’m picking the word gratefulness! Again this word brings me back to all the things I take for granted in my life, and within that all the things I magnify in my mind as to what I’m ungrateful for. As if there is a polarity within the word of, either being grateful or not grateful. As like I got born into a family, place or setting that did not cater to my wants, needs and desires, and now I’m not grateful with what life turned out to be. By looking at the little things to the big things that shapes my experiences dependent as to what I’m mentally and physically busy with. I see myself not having been able to look deeply behind what it is I’m actually facing inside myself. Thus most importantly, I miss what is behind the experiences I have cause I do not challenge myself to learn and understand the experiences by standing equal and one to what it is I can do for myself to grow from my experiences. Bringing the word gratefulness back to myself, it seems that it’s still a lot of things I have to deal with before I can embody what it truly means to live gratefulness as an unwavering consistent expression.

So I’d like to change my relationship to the word gratefulness, in an all encompassing way, where all and everything is taking into consideration as to what makes it possible for me to be here, right now, breathing, speaking, and moving in my physical body. To dear seeing the, ugly, the nasty, the evil, that I don’t wanna look at, my excuses and justifications as to why and how I do what I do. Then from there direct myself in self honesty, stop myself from the mind participation bit by bit, and change myself using the tools of self forgiveness. That’s the process I will walk for myself indeed!

Untill I’m able to be grateful for what each day in my life offered me to experience, to introspect, investigate and learn from. Not taking things for granted and accepting a lesser version of myself. But taking what I face and learn about myself, apply myself to live words that stands within the principle of what’s best for all.

SELF FORGIVENESS

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to separate myself from all the things that are here, by only looking through the mind’s eye within wants, needs, desires, ideas, and pictures pertaining to the upkeep of that which ignore all the suffering other lives and lifeforms has to go through and endure to cater to egocentric interests only privileged people as myself can justify.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to ignore the reasons behind my reasoning by emerging myself within the experience as if it’s the ONLY way to be and live, while not looking at what I can learn from what it is I think, feel and experience as my reality.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to give up the task of changing myself within the belief that it’s impossible, even though that is just excuses and justifications attempting to validate itself as CONvictions, CONvincing me that I must go with what it is I’ve already accepted and allow to exist as, a CONman.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to only experience gratefulness when someone or something is catering to what I expect within polarities of good and bad, right and wrong, instead of questing who I am within what I experience on every level of myself, so that I can bring forth self intimacy, understanding and change and expand how I live the word gratefulness.
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Re: Mats writing myself to freedom

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https://iwillindeed.wordpress.com/2018/ ... ls-ethics/

What comes up in me with the words morals and ethics depict what guidelines I set for myself as to what I accept and allow inside and out. I see it have been mostly to do with the point of self-deception, tainted by comparisons of judgements, polarized principles, living a false facade of hiding the real truth about the nature of myself in relation to the whole. So I’ve trapped myself behind projections of what it means for me to be good and evil, right and wrong, in a self dispute that has caused self-hatred resulting in abusive behaviors and actions.

Now, I realize that I do not have to live in such a state, where I’m of this world yet not in it. Meaning, I’m a living result of this manifested mess called human nature, where everything gets justified within an eye for an eye, as an accumulation effect building and building until we all destroy everything because I was right, and they are wrong. And so it’s my duty sort of thing to be a ”man” and live in a state of revenge.

Instead, I take my power by stopping myself, clarifying what it is I will not accept and allow as to what will be best for all, which is the ultimate principle that is ever worth living as because that is best for all. So morality and ethics becomes an outcome that is guided by the responsibility I take to make sure I do not compromise my thoughts, words and deeds in a way that is based on feelings and emotional reactions of what I project to be morally and ethically valid.Thus I can live within the ability to stop and breathe, before I act out what comes naturally as ”human nature”. I can access for myself what and how I will respond to any and all challenges I face as human being. Make sure I do my best to find a solution within whatever it is I find myself going through, and change myself to be the best I can be for myself. I don’t have to be influenced to live within decisions I’ve made by comparing, judging, and justifying my actions, I can stop this by bringing everything back to myself, and decide what living example I can be and live as the living word.

So what is the moral of the story? Who decides the moral of your story, what makes it ethical? What makes it good? What does it mean to be bad? Who am I?
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Re: Mats writing myself to freedom

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https://iwillindeed.wordpress.com/2018/ ... d-change/

Here I’m looking at the word change. Seeing that the word can open up a lot of different dimensions and aspects as who I am in relation to this word. How many times have we for example experienced someone making a promise to us, but then they’ve changed their mind the next moment, day, week, or month afterwards, and we feel let down for having placed trust in that person. And how many times how we done the exact same thing ourselves to another, and even to ourselves…

We’ve all heard the phrase, ”I will never drink again!” lol. What changed?… Our experience changed, suddenly we find ourselves facing temptation again, and face the decision to either stand for what we deep down know is best for us, or fall within self-deception as wants, needs and desires which cannot add up to what would be the best version of ourselves since it’s based on ideas of how things are and must be, and not real-time actual cross referenced physical points that interact with what is here. So within such points, changes is dependent on outside influences that triggers experiences within us that is energy dependent, that we have not sorted out to stand stable and clear within one and equal.

It seems that we’ve lost the ability to understand why change is relevant in relation to ourselves. How we tend to reason rearly get’s challenged by our external reality because it is the reflection of who we are within. And so, we face the man in the mirror all the time, and since we’ve become so accustom to the way things are, and look, we don’t want to change in fear of loosing our identity, our values of core beliefs we hold on to because it defines who we think we are. When that is simply a projection of those who came before us, who we grew up around, mass media, entertainments, etc. The things that makes up the programmed mind consciousness system.

So for me, I see that I can challenge myself in relation to all of this. I see that I do not have to be a part of that system of deception. Why will I compromise my potential to be the best I can be? And live as an example of that to stand as something greater than just my preprogrammed human nature, which clearly do not stand for what is best for all. That is where I see change comes in, cause it’s now a process to face what I’ve accepted and allowed as who, what, where and how I think I am, to who, what, where and how can I change this thought, word, and deed to honor myself within what will be the best outcome for all. That is what the principle of what is best for all represents, It means to align oneself as that principle regardless of what is currently going on with how other people, thinks and act all around us.

Change is where I stop what I participate within internally and externally, and in and as that I change the points that comes up in myself, that I’m responsable for personally contributing to in and as the whole of existence.

SELF FORGIVENESS

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to doubt my ability to face and stand within the moment of temptation, where I experience being overwhelmed and too weak to stop, breathe and redirect myself, instead of seeing that I’m projecting sequences of images that is based on and made up of past memories that keeps me from not changing and renewing myself, but redoing what it is I’ve always done.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear being too weak to change who, and what I’ve allowed myself to become and act as, and so give up even trying to change the things that I fear losing that gives me the short-term experience of fulfillment.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to project what will happen as an outcome and see no other way around it, instead of realizing that’s how I manifest my reality, by not stopping the mind, breathing, applying self forgiveness, and practically commit to live otherwise within the principles of that which is best for all.

When and as a I see myself resisting change on a point that has to do with an energetic charge/experience, I commit myself to stop, breathe, apply self forgiveness on the point, untill I’m able to realize and remind myself of why this is not best for me as all as one. And create a solution that I’m able to practically apply within self honesty of stopping the preprogrammed mind that leads down the path of self diminishment and abuse.
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