Sunette's Practical Living Support Writings

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SunetteSpies
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Re: Sunette's Practical Living Support Writings

Postby SunetteSpies » 03 Sep 2014, 15:15

Relationship support: With walking process out of the Mind, connecting more with your ‘real self/being’ – you become aware of connections with other people on a being-level, that is not an ‘energy’ – but a connection/experience on a being-physical level and will be at this stage within your process be able to distinguish between these types of connections and then emotional/feeling mind-relationship connections.
Such connections that manifest on a being-physical level are rare – but when it happens, can initially be overwhelming – because it is a sensation that you experience into the depths of your being and body. Another distinguishing factor here is that: such connections and the experience thereof on a being-physical level is constant – it does not waver. Whereas, with mind-connections on an emotional/feeling level: here the energy can waver and is dependent on how many thoughts, imaginations / projections you participate in within the Mind to keep the energy generated.
Usually – when meeting someone, you tend to immediately go into the mind, think about them, imagine/project a relationship/future, then comes the emotions and feelings which then creates the attraction / desire. So, being-connections happens in reverse: first establishing a foundation where you spend time with the person and get to know them, then the connection emerge and from there a relationship develops. But, even with this – the relationship that develops is NOT necessarily a ‘committed relationship’ – such being-physical connections that you experience with another may only be a relationship potential of being intimate in communication, or being natural in how you express yourself, OR it may develop into a ‘committed relationship’.
In the next post will continue explaining how to practically approach relationships, both when your mind tends to want to ‘jump’ into a relationship upon meeting a person only recently and when/as you become aware of a being-physical connection.



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Re: Sunette's Practical Living Support Writings

Postby SunetteSpies » 03 Sep 2014, 15:16

Relationship support (continued): We tend to, when meeting someone – and this for some would be very rare, that you experience an overwhelming connection with the individual as you get to know them better. Here we’re looking at a being-physical connection. In the beginning – there wouldn’t necessarily be any ‘out of the ordinary’ experience towards them, but as time passes, the more you spend time with them – this connection naturally emerge within you. Where, you don’t necessarily have any thoughts, projections and imaginations towards them – it’s a ‘naturally emerging connection’. This is very specific – in that, these types of connection that develop, WITHOUT (and this you have to assess self honestly) ANY thoughts/imagination pertaining to relationship/sex – is where two people connect on a ‘being level’.
Now, unfortunately – what the Mind tends to do is immediately interpreting these connections in the lines of relationship where: first there’s nothing, then the connection emerge and THEN you relate the connection to relationship/sex. What has to be understood with such being-physical connections is that the experience of the connection will still be interpreted by your Mind, because the experience can be quite overwhelming – your mind would immediately interpret the connection in the lines of a committed relationship / sex. This is where you’d want to assist and support yourself to: when/as such a connection with another person develops, to give yourself and also them, the space and the time to first get to know each other, to see (without any hope / expectations interfering, but unconditionally walking the process of getting to know each other day by day) – to see what develops / emerge. To essentially assess the POTENTIAL that exists within the relationship – to be able to assess what type of relationship would benefit both in such an instance. In this, you have to be self honest with yourself and so with regards to the relationship to determine whether the relationship will be merely where you’re comfortable with each other / intimate with each other in communication / interaction and/or whether it is something that can develop into a committed relationship.
We’ll continue more in the next post – also having a look at how current relationships can develop into being-physical connections and what the difference is between mind-energy relationships and being-physical relationships.



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Re: Sunette's Practical Living Support Writings

Postby SunetteSpies » 03 Sep 2014, 15:17

Relationship Support – Desire: There’s a fine line between desire and obsession when it comes to relationships, where desire for relationship can be emotionally fuelled in your mind to such an extent that it can in a moment spill over to becoming obsession.
This is one of the outflow-consequences of indulging in the alternate realities of consciousness through fantasies, imagination and projection that you super-charge with a lot of emotional and feeling energy. One thing about Consciousness to be understood is that it thrives off-of emotional/feeling energy and if you spend time in it for long enough – you can channel your awareness into consciousness to such an extent where you lose touch with reality in an extreme way and attempt to live-out, in this real world, your fantasies/imaginations you created in the MIND….this is where a seemingly innocent desire for relationship, spun out of control within yourself into an obsession and the consequences can be seen by how you’d push for relationship in the real world. So much so, that even the littlest thing that another person can do…your mind would first and foremost jump to interpreting it through the eyes of relationship. This is because you are not seeing reality through the eyes of you as a person, seeing reality through the eyes of standing equal to and one with another person as who they are as a being, seeing reality through the eyes of what is really here, seeing reality through the eyes of space and time – but instead: you’re seeing reality through the eyes of your own imaginations/fantasies and emotions/feelings that is veiling you from seeing and so developing constructive, practical and supportive relationships with people you interact with / meet.
We can miss so much in our relationship to other people we participate with – those who we meet for a moment, who we’ve known for a long time, who enters into our social circles / life unexpectedly - if we accept and allow relationship to exist with a starting point of desire, instead of seeing the potential in our relations with various people in our lives that are here and/or that come in; where we can enrich ourselves, our lives by fostering relationships in a way that we can learn about ourselves, what we can learn from each other and the gifts we can give and receive between each other. I’d say we’ve been limiting ourselves, our relations with others extensively by mostly only interpreting our relations with others through the eyes of relationship / desire…
We’ll continue more in the next post with having a look at how to ground your mind and so yourself into reality to see and so develop relationships that support you as a person and contribute to your life in many ways, to not only limit your relations with others through the eyes of relationship/desire…



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Re: Sunette's Practical Living Support Writings

Postby SunetteSpies » 03 Sep 2014, 15:19

Purpose (Part 1): Someone once told me “you cannot wait for purpose, because there’s nothing and no-one that can give it TO you…you have to create it and endeavour to bring it to fruition”. I have met people in my life who told me they feel lost, especially when they look at the job they’re in to live/survive in this world – they don’t see themselves as contributing to a greater purpose in life, nor do they see a purpose for themselves, for their lives in general.
I have been here myself. I know exactly how this feels. Especially when you reach a point in your life where it feels like you’ve reached the deepest, darkest pit possible and in that state – you don’t see the reason for you, your life and everything/everyone within it….I experienced this a while after my mother passed away. I was a teenager with no practical tools to support me to understand the emotions I was experiencing and how I was living/acting them out. Also, I did not communicate / share with anyone what I was really going through…mainly because I, myself did not understand. In that aloneness, not understanding your own mind, your own emotions/feelings – you can very easily lose yourself in aloneness and drag yourself into such a deep, dark pit where it feels like all is lost…So, in that state - back then, the only way I could define my experience was that I didn’t want to live anymore…
Fortunately, during that time – I met this individual who spoke the words “you cannot wait for purpose, because there’s nothing and no-one that can give it TO you…you have to create it and endeavour to bring it to fruition”. Even though I did not want to live anymore…fortunately it was not to the extent/degree where I would act on the experience, it was just weighing in my Mind as a thought as the only way I could define my experience at the time. So, I looked at the words spoken for myself and the first purpose related point I faced within myself was “find a reason / purpose to LIVE”…this was the question that was in fact driving me, because I was in an experience of not wanting to live anymore, so I had to, for myself, find a purpose / reason to live.
I could have very easily not listened to / reflected on the words spoken – I don’t know where I would have been if I didn’t listen, if I didn’t take a moment with myself and reflect on the words and my life in general. But, I made the decision to give myself purpose, to find that reason to live…and so, I wouldn’t be who I am and what I do today if I did not make that decision for myself then.

Purpose (Part 2): So – the purpose I gave to myself was to become part of something more – to contribute to something in this world that has an impact on people’s lives, on this world as a whole. When I started doing this – becoming part of something more, I established my reason / purpose to live. Because I could see, for myself, how what I do and how I participate with people – contributed to people’s lives and beyond.
What I would like to share within this all is: whenever you feel lost, whenever you feel you have no purpose / reason within yourself and your life – GIVE IT TO YOURSELF. What we have established with Desteni, LIG and the DesteniIProcesses is a support and assistance platform to UNDERSTAND yourself, your mind and additionally become part of something MORE that contributes to many people’s lives as well as this world as a whole.
I would not want for anyone to have to go through what I have early on in my life – where you don’t understand yourself / your own mind to the extent where you cannot even talk to anyone about it. This is what the DIP Lite and DIP Pro supports with: to understand yourself and your own mind, realising how you can in fact change and help yourself up and out of the aloneness / depths of lostness that we often experience. Then, LIG – assists and supports with becoming part of that something more, where you can still do your day-to-day living/survival while contributing to as greater purpose for humanity / this world as a whole.
As I said in the previous post: I wouldn’t be who I am and what I do today if I did not stand up within myself and give myself purpose / reason. So, you don’t know what the future will bring for yourself and your life – but finding that reason / purpose, giving it to yourself is and will be the first step to finding out…



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Re: Sunette's Practical Living Support Writings

Postby SunetteSpies » 03 Sep 2014, 15:20

Process and Patience: We often buy avocados at the supermarket – yet, they have not yet ripened enough or at all to be able to immediately indulge in them. So, we buy them and spread them out in a fruit bowl and/or wrap them in newspaper to ripen faster. The other day – I saw them spread out in the kitchen. I really wanted to indulge in one of them…so I took hold of an avocado and said “it’s so not cool to want something you cannot have being here right in front of you”. The moment I spoke those words – a point opened up within me:
I realised that: I cannot have it “right now” – but need to give myself the equal amount of time and patience that it would take for the avocado to ripen and then I can indulge. But even this is not a given, because of living in an environment with many people – others may indulge before me and I don’t get to have an avocado, which has happened before. So, here I realised the problem within the equation: WANT and the tendency to have that want RIGHT NOW. Within me, all that existed in that moment was me WANTING a RIPE AVO – yet, as long as I hold onto that want there are many things I don’t take into consideration: the fact that I have to wait and be patient within that and the fact that I may later not get it / have it. So, in that moment – I had to let go of the want, let go of the future-projected want for having an avo later, because even that is not in my immediate control. WANT can also lead to selfish tendencies of taking an avo or more away to keep for oneself for later, not allowing the avo’s to be free in the kitchen and each one take as they require / need based on their physical needs of nutrition / sustenance for when they feel they would like to indulge in an avo.
This additionally opened the point of how we as people have been conditioned in our relationship to time – where we WANT things RIGHT NOW and not considering SO MANY THINGS that in fact take time and patience, which would not even necessarily mean that you would get that ‘want’. I have found this dimension of WANT and RIGHT NOW to have dire effects in many other areas of life, which I will share in posts to come…



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Re: Sunette's Practical Living Support Writings

Postby SunetteSpies » 03 Sep 2014, 15:21

Want as Fear / Need as Practicality: I would like to expand on a point in my previous post where I mentioned ‘taking Avos for myself would be an act of selfishness’, sharing why I looked at the point as being ‘selfish’ within the context I shared. Granted, many of us would approach the point of ‘taking something for yourself’ as an act of ‘doing something for yourself’ – that it is not ‘selfish’ to do this for yourself…however as with all things: it depends on your starting point within the act, who you are within what you do. I have found this tendency of wanting to ‘take things for myself’ often comes with an emotional energy of ‘urgency’ of “I’m going to take this for myself, otherwise I won’t get any”…so in this context, your starting point is like wanting to ‘protect your WANT (in this case the Avo) from other people’, so that others don’t take it and you can have it. It extends into a relationship of ‘ownership’ – like making a decision of ‘I own this Avo, it is MINE…no one else may have it!’ So, here – the starting point is based in a reaction of fear in fact and not based in a starting point of a self honest need for a particular food source.
So, look – when my body craves something, when my physical body genuinely indicates a physical need for a particular food source…I do take more for myself. But even here, with living with so many people – when I do take more for myself, I asses how much is available to everyone else and with having a general idea of how much of a particular source everyone else eats – I will take only a certain amount with ensuring there will be more than enough for everyone else to have. I go through periods of cravings with my body so I know that it is not something that lasts long and once my body has got its fill on a food source, I let the point go again. It’s all about assessing one’s starting point within it all.

Want as Fear and Need as Practicality (Part 2): So, living with a lot of people – one has to tend to considering others, otherwise what can very easily happen is this inherent tendency of us humans to only tend to our own WANTS without considering other’s needs as well as your own and find a balance of sharing. So, yes – sometimes there is a compromise needed, but even within that compromise there are other solutions like: I can wait another day / two or a few days for more avos and/or when I am in town again, I would get some avo for myself. But, as long as my starting point is in a WANT, a fear of ‘not having’ and I act within that to ‘protect what I now decided to own’…then this is not considering others and in this cannot see many others solutions available to me to have it at a later stage.
I am by no means saying “don’t indulge” in terms of not at all giving yourself that allowance to for example have something when you purely want to indulge in it – No, not at all. By all means, one can go ahead and do this – but do this within consideration of others. Sometimes, I can indulge for the pure sake of indulgence, other times not – it depends on the people, the food / material resource and the amounts available.
This obviously opens up the relationship between the difference of WANT and NEED…how we as people have been conditioned to WANT and act within the fear of ‘not having’…instead of aligning our principles to ‘what it is that I practically NEED and how can I consider others within that as well?’



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Re: Sunette's Practical Living Support Writings

Postby SunetteSpies » 03 Sep 2014, 15:22

Process – Change Support: Oftentimes within my personal process I would have these ‘bursts of motivation’ to change. Something would happen, often consequential – by either having made a mistake (miss-take) or fallen (not standing by myself / my decisions), then would go through a process of judgments / reactions (negative polarity) for the miss-take or not standing by myself / my decisions. From where I would walk the process of forgiveness / practical correction and realise / see what I accepted and allowed – but, the moment I could see what I accepted and allowed and how to correct it, I would have this ‘burst of motivation’ (positive polarity) and work myself up energetically inside of myself, making ABSOLUTE statements of “I will NEVER do the same miss-take again” / “I will from now on ALWAYS stand by my decisions” / “I will not fall again”…then, inevitably what happens is…I do make mistakes and I do fall, leading up to the same cycle repeating itself between the negative polarity of judging / reacting to my mistakes / failures and the positive polarity of feeling very motivated to ABSOLUTELY change.
The underlying ‘problems’ within this process was me firstly judging / reacting to my own miss-takes / moments of falling – taking myself into a negative polarity and then trying to compensate on some level within myself for taking myself into a negative, by driving myself into a positive. When you’re in energy / reaction – either positive or negative, it can easily take you into the realm of absolutes (make you believe that you can for example say “I will NEVER make a mistake again or I will NEVER fall again” – when process in reality is not an absolute, it is a step by step process of building, creating, making mistakes, falling, standing up, learning, evolving etc.
What I learned within this process is the following: Whenever I would judge myself for / react to mistakes / falling – I would forgive myself, making sure there are no emotional reactions/judgments of thoughts towards myself for the mistakes / falling. Then I would GENTLY look at the scenario and UNDERSTAND what contributed to the mistake / falling, really pulling out of the event everything and anything I can that will support me to LEARN from it. Then I breathe and continue walking.
The moment a ‘burst of motivation’ to change came up within me and I went into making ‘absolute statements’ – I would use this as a reference for myself that I somewhere in some way in past mistake / fall am still judging myself / reacting, as I went into a positive polarity and into the mind’s absolutes.
When you reflect on past mistakes / falls, learn from it and use it as references as you continue with your day to day experiences – the process of change is as gentle as a BREATH. You gently ‘ease into’ what you learned from the past mistakes / falling and simply continue walking your process. The moment it is anything more or less than that – emotional / feeling energy is involved, indicating that there are still reactions involved on some level / dimension within oneself.
I will continue more in the next post…explaining what exactly the difference is between ‘bursts of motivation and absolute statements’ and ‘easing into change as gently as a breath’…



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Re: Sunette's Practical Living Support Writings

Postby SunetteSpies » 09 Sep 2014, 12:03

Moments: On the Farm, late in the afternoons – the weather is sometimes of such nature that it feels like all the plants, animals and general environment has quieted down to a silent whisper, as though a veil dropped and you are for a moment allowed into the presence, the life of everything around you. This happens just before sunset, contributing to the stillness of the general environment as though everything is taking a moment of silence, looking up to the sun and bidding it goodbye…preparing for the evening cycle. Almost as though Nature stops for a moment in a prayer actually…but a prayer of gratitude and appreciation to the Sun’s existence, ‘seeing it off’ for a moment until the morning comes as a celebration when you hear how nature and the animals awaken to the sun’s rising…it is really magnificent experiencing this ‘end and beginning’ cycle of evenings and mornings. This moment of the ‘veil dropping’ is the period of transition within the environment and by standing in nature, listening to all the sounds – you can ‘feel’ this process unfolding, especially if there’s no wind / rain / clouds…
I am sometimes in the presence of this moment when I take Stout (my pups) for walks and I then for a moment close my eyes, breathe and just ‘take in’ the overall sensation of this experience. It reminds me of how often we tend to ‘forget’ the extent to which we let such moments pass us by and how many moments we miss in our outside world because of our busyness in the Mind that we do not take a moment for ourselves, with our environment, just be here, breathe and stand with and as the ‘presence’ of this physical reality.
It truly shows how we tend to ‘live in two worlds’ – mostly in the world of the mind and very little of our awareness extends into connecting with the ‘life’ of this reality, even the air that we breathe – no matter in which part of the world, whether living close to nature or in the concrete jungle – the presence of the earth is always with you, even in its simplest form as the air that you breathe.
Here I am looking at our Awareness and the relationship with this physical reality…if we as people, in the history of human civilization, ‘connected’ more with the ‘living presence’ of the earth / this physical reality and everything around us making it possible to live and breathe…would we then have taken care of this earth better if we could ‘feel and experience’ this living presence and what our actions / non actions are compromising in relation to the life of the earth / this physical reality? I mean, we don’t even really connect on this level with our own physical bodies – this Awareness of what our bodies are going through / what we put our bodies through in our lifetime as very little Awareness really goes into our relationship with our bodies…as we mostly busy ourselves in the Mind.
We’re not even properly taking care of our bodies, let alone this earth – which doesn’t say much for who we are as the living word “Responsibility”, when we haven’t individually and together truly taken responsibility for our very existence and relationship to this earth and everything within it…
To understand Self Responsibility – developing an equal and one relationship with yourself, your body – investigate Desteni and expanding this Responsibility to the earth / the world as a while – investigate Living Income Guaranteed.
If we continue with our relationship to ourselves, the mind and this world as we always have throughout the history of human civilization…the future does not look good as we’ll simply cycle in the same old patterns of abuse, destruction and compromise. Let’s make a change – starting with ourselves, our relationship to this world and become living examples of what it means to stand up and take Responsibility for ourselves, each other and this world.



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Re: Sunette's Practical Living Support Writings

Postby SunetteSpies » 09 Sep 2014, 15:53

Interest: There is often a positive energy / experience that goes with the moment something / someone peaks your interest. With understanding how energy works (emotions and feelings), the amount of time / effort / dedication you’ll invest into that something / someone will very much depend on the amount of energy you feel / experience. Relationships, for example, start off with such “interest” as a positive feeling – the more positive feelings you have, the more time / effort you will dedicate to the person – the less positive feelings you have, the less time / effort you will dedicate to the person.
Oftentimes interest is misunderstood as ‘commitment’ – commitment is something most tend to resist, such as commitment to oneself, one’s life, others, this world as a whole – because commitment is something that becomes a way of life, it becomes a part of you and is something you remain constant and consistent with in your day to day living experiences. Herein is no ‘positive energy’ involved – because commitment is something visible in actions and results.
Commitment is the reverse of Interest: With interest – you have the positive energy first, which will determine how much of yourself you invest into the particular interest. With commitment – you only ‘reap the rewards’ afterwards, when the results come through in the time, patience and dedication you put into something that you remained disciplined, constant and consistent with over time.
When looking at relationships again: most tend to not be able to transfer the relationship from interest to commitment – as many only define relationships based on how they ‘feel’, based on the ‘amount of interest’…and when that feeling / interest drops…the relationship gets dropped. When relationships should be a commitment, something that has to be built and created over time and can be a continuous journey and process with taking responsibility for oneself and the other, walking with oneself and the other – committing to making it work, working things out and so CREATING and becoming MORE as individuals and together through the relationship – rather than defining relationships purely based on how you energetically feel…
Herein, with looking at the example of relationships – you can clearly see the difference between something dependent on one’s ‘interest’ as opposed to committing oneself to something / someone and seeing / experiencing the results in time.



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Re: Sunette's Practical Living Support Writings

Postby SunetteSpies » 29 Sep 2014, 20:43

Relationship Support: Did an awesome interview today in the Relationship Success Support series that will be available on EQAFE this coming Wednesday – focusing on the ‘backdoors’ in the Mind, which can contribute to a relationship going into either 1. Compromise, where the two partners learn to ‘tolerate’ each other – walking on eggshells around each other to ensure they don’t step on each other’s toes. 2. Boredom, where both grow tired of each other…like yearning for something new, something better…something more and lastly 3. Conflict, where there is more arguments and fights between the two than actually spending time together. Obviously, there are more directions the relationship can go to – but these are the 3 most common outflows of accepting and allowing backdoors in one’s mind and not investing everything of oneself to create the relationship, for both to equally develop, grow and expand as individuals within a relationship.
We often within relationships accept and allow things, very seldom actually look for solutions and most importantly – willing to really change oneself. We have this tendency to want to fight for our limitations and forget that being in a relationship / agreement – for it to become extraordinary, you have to work on yourself and the relationship/agreement to CREATE the extraordinary. For this to happen – you genuinely need to invest yourself into/as your relationship with yourself as well as your partner – otherwise, things like ‘backdoors’ in the Mind can influence the relationship subconsciously on many levels. The ‘backdoors’ discussed in this interview are for instance thoughts of believing that you’d have a ‘better relationship with someone else’, or thoughts such as ‘having a Plan B person you keep in contact with so that if your relationship doesn’t work out, you still have options’, or daydream about how you wished the relationship could be – spending more time in your mind fantasizing about the ideal relationship instead of working on creating that in the relationship/agreement right in front of you. So, if any of these backdoors exist for example – it interferes with the relationship/agreement, because you’ll have one foot in and the other foot out at all times. No relationship can truly work if you, in your Mind, accept / allow such a stance to a relationship. For creation to truly manifest – everything of yourself has to go into it…giving it your all. So, for practical support and assistance on how to create extraordinary relationships…listen to the Relationship Success Support series as well as the Relationship/Agreement Course available on desteniiprocess.com




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