Starting over with this commitment:
Day 1 - I had read the night before the desteni wiki on dreams
, and within that section there was information on the sleep programming of the mind consciousness system. This I had read in the past but was not ready to face the point, so this time around it was very fitting. The idea of sleep in itself is a program we as life do not need to sleep, the body needs rest, though the mind was programmed in such a way to use the sleep and dreams as a way to ingrain itself deeper and specify itself more to enslave the beingness in the body as the human being who believes we need sleep to be healthy. The sleep cycle of the normal human is 8-9 hours, this is the time it takes the mind consciousness system to complete it's integration and specification in the sleep time. Though the physical body only needs 4-6 hours, and it's suggested to wake up in this duration as you disrupt and not allow the mind to complete it's cycle.
Also, self forgiveness was shared on sleep
, which I am going to use in the morning when I awake as a tool to get me out of the sleepy/groggy programming addiction i have accepted and allowed for all this time.
So the morning of this day 1, I woke at 5:30 am, I was awake though the allure for sleeping was still there, I said to myself I will just sit for a moment and look at this dream I had, see what was within it. Though the next moment I wake and it's now 7:00am, so I had accepted and allowed myself to fall into the energy sleep addiction again.
I woke at this time and did writing.
Day 2 - My partner had come home from a trip late, so we talked for a few hours into the night. This I found I used the next day as to why I didn't have to get up and walk the writing and early morning routine. So I am still accepting and allowing excuses to direct me, not walking my directive commitments to move through the resistances and move myself into what I have committed to. I am seeing that there is this addiction to the belief that sleep is like a luxury, it is this absolute comfort that i can not get anywhere else, and I so enjoy this time. So I see I am still allowing this feeling experience of comfort take me over and allowing self interest over what is best for all, which is to stand within who i am as my living words and walk as a being who lives for life not accepting and allowing the mind to dictate who i am and just accept the resistance to sleep in and be directed by energy, feelings, and desires.
I am also practicing within this process commitment to be gentle and patient with myself, I have a pattern of being extremely hard on myself and going into self abuse when i fall or do not do my best, though this only creates more reactions/patterns i have to walk through I have realized, thus making the whole process take longer. So i am also living the word patience, care, gentleness, and steadfastness as I live this commitment until I am satisfied that I am here and able to move myself physically here to live in the morning routine I had committed to in moving through all resistances and living this commitment to be productive in the early morning hours before I start my day.
I will continue tonight with self forgiveness on the above points.
Thanks for reading.