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Re: Danielle's Writings
Posted: 22 Jun 2018, 01:58
DAY 28: 21 Day No Entertainment Challenge
The other day I went out looking for cleaning jobs. I have opportunities that I could take on but I do not want to put myself in a position where I start to become comfortable in another business then have to tell that person that I'll be leaving once I've picked up enough skill in cleaning. There is also the fact that there is lots of videos on how to professionally clean, how to clean to this and how to clean that on YouTube. With this in mind, and looking at further advise on the internet, I came to the decision that I would just focus on studying a bit more and then go door-to-door in certain suburbs, and offer people my services in exchange for a reasonable rate. That way I can control the number of clients that I am signing on, I don't have to turn down people because they contact and I cannot take them on due to numbers which then gives my business a bad name, etc. This way of going about my business is beneficial because it allows me to just start bringing in some money and have a small clientele that I can manage. Once I start building up the business appearance which is all planned out and is beautiful and then making sure that the mechanics of the business is works wonderfully, I will then slowly but surely bring in another worker, increase my rates, take on more clients, and continue the creation process. Which is continuous.
With all the plans that I have created for my business, I am needing to now do the work in order to bring it to life again. Now that I am not working I have a full day's worth of time to fill and dedicate to my business and studies. What I noticed is that I have a habit of spending about 4 - 5 hours, some days, watching entertainment and documentaries. I love documentaries, and watching movies without sound. I'll watch a documentary when I a working out, I'll watch a documentary when I am cleaning my house, and I'll sometimes watch a documentary before I go to bed. Now, I will only watch the documentary in the time given to cleaning or working which is 1 hour & for cleaning 2 hours. Cleaning takes quicker than that, but that is the time that I have to clean. Work out gets full hour because the work out are great for the body, and I feel great afterwards. Once these hours and the job is finished is when I switch over to getting back into studies. But, what tends to happen is I'll get hooked onto the documentaries and I'll want to watch it until the end. Which messes up the structure that I have in place, and normally when I am in the 'watching a documentary mode', it takes a few moments to adjust back into the ''ok, time to shift into studying cleaning mode''. In the 'watching a documentary mode' I become slightly emotional & tired.. Because some documentaries are sad, but I just breathe through the emotions and then I go back to studies eventually. Then I find the next documentary and sometimes it will be different but the cycle repeats for the sad ones. Even once I have spent time watching a documentary I'll be processing it and that takes time too.
When it comes to watching movies without sound. I do that because I like the calm of my mind. It goes still, quiet, and I do not have to hear anything that is being said, but at the same time I get to watch the behaviours, the body language, and I simply have to observe nothing more and nothing less. Then I end up going into a tired state, and I won't want to study. Both of these things take up a reasonable amount of time throughout my day and they impact on my studies and the business. I'd like to have a break and to challenge myself of what my life would be without entertainment and/or documentaries for a while. Just so that I can assist and support myself in my life rather than wasting those extra hours getting hooked on stuff that help but not necessarily in what I am trying to create for my life and others. So the 21 day challenge begins.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to mess up my structure for the day by investing overtime watching the entertainment and getting hooked on documentaries
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to focus on entertainment that does not really benefit me in my life or what I want to create for others.
i forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to feel sad about having to let go of watching movies without sound
I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to not see/realise/understand that the extra time will be invested into assisting and supporting myself
I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to believe that watching movies without sound is benefiting the priorities in my life.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to watch movies and documentaries in the times that I am suppose to be studying.
I forgive myself that i haven't accepted and allowed myself to see/realise/understand that I can increase my understanding grow my business faster if I spent most if not all of my time focused on personal development and the areas of business that I want to create.
I forgive myself that I haven't accepted and allowed myself to see/realise/understand that I can dedicate some time to watching documentaries once a week when i am not studying.
I commit myself to not invest any time into entertainment for 21 days to see how I will go without
I commit myself to dedicate time one day a week to watch a few documentaries.
Re: Danielle's Writings
Posted: 25 Jun 2018, 06:45
DAY 29: Working With New Clients
Last week I had applied for some cleaning companies that I considered working for. One of those companies happen to be one of the largest in two countries. My reasons for applying in that week was to gain some experience and cash flow for my business. Long story short I was contacted each day for almost the full week by them to run through processes that they had. I then got to the reference part. I have ex-work mates that give great references, however, they were not 12 months and over. They were 2 months off of that. So, I wasn't sure if I would get the job or not. I started to consider whether it would be worthwhile considering that I'll end up leaving the job some months after. I then made the decision to start up my business and use the time I have to learn. The afternoon that I came to that decision I was contacted by the company again, and they wanted to congratulate me on getting the job. Once the phone call was done, I went into considering if I will go through with it or not. I had to take a lot to consideration and then I made the decision to take this opportunity because I may not have another opportunity with this business again if I turn it down. I made that decision after the consideration of I'll be working a few days a week, I'll be getting paid on the day, I'll be able to focus on looking for new clients for my business on my days off, and I have the opportunity to ask several questions about this company to/for/if I want to expand my own. Yet... I don't tell them that I'll be doing that, but I'll just ask several questions of them. So, after all that consideration I didn't call back to reject the offer or anything such as that.
What has come up since I got the job is the fear of judgment from clients about my weight. I have been since a child skinny. My fun nickname given by my neighbours was chicken legs because I was small and skinny. All throughout my adult years I've been trying to put on weight. What prevents me from being able to put on weight is the amount of walking I do. I live in central city area where there are beautiful parks that I cannot ignore or not walk through/in, and I'll walk for close to 2 hours a day. Occasionally I'll go for a bike ride here and there which means more cardio. So, I haven't been able to put on weight like I want to. So, what has come up is the worry that my clients may have a problem with my weight too. I am fairly thin, but not the severity of thin. Just skinny. What I am worried about is that they will judge me based on my size and think ''Yeah, I do not want her working with me,'' sme really bizarre thought that I had.. Which may not even happen and/or fear about not having the muscle to lift stuff that they want me to lift... So overall I'd say I feel like I am physically inadequate because I am not living up to this idea that I am suppose to look like. Even know I am lifting weight in the gym, my own body weight, and exercising the way that I do and I do not reach an image that I should be looking like despite all of this effort, then I start to judge and be/become unsatisfied and worried about what other people think. All of which is just illusion and expectations of how I am suppose to look by mental picture standards.
My body is quite healthy. I do not eat junk foods, I do not smoke, I do not do drugs, I do not eat surgary foods, I do not drink coffee, I do not eat chocolate, lol. the reasons why i am thin is because I walk so much. I cannot pull myself away from walking. I enjoying through my local park, I like walking around to look at all the houses (that are all potential clients I can work for) in my city's neighbourhoods, I like walking through the nature parks, I like going into the rich areas and looking at their pretty gardens, etc. So, I cannot pull myself away from it. I'll eat a lot of food, but with the amount of walking I do I cannot put on weight as much as I'd like too. Weight is what I want to put on and the best way is to cut down on walking so much. What I can do is drive to a location, park the car and then walk to my destination, and/or instead of walking for almost 2 hours or 1 and a half, I can just walk for 30 minutes. I can save all the walking for one day, and then go through the nature parks instead of just walking for hours in one day. This works because I do need to put on weight as I'd like to turn it into muscle. As for judgments, insecurities, and fears of people judging me about my weight.... That's all stuff that needs to be forgiven because it could potentially affect who/how I will be towards my clients and/or even affect my business. Judgments, insecurities and fears are all limitations and set-backs.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear what my clients will think about my weight.
i forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to fear people judging me for my body weight.
I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to fear people thinking that I have anorexia
I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to judge my body as inadequate because it doesn't look like the mental picture that I want it too look like.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to feel down about my weight
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to feel frustrated about not being able to put weight on no matter how much I eat
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to go overboard with walking for hours to avoid returning home to studies.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to use walking as a way to avoid coming home to study
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to avoid learning new stuff that is focused around business and cleaning
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear being very successfully.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear my clients making comments about my weight
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to worry about my body
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not see/realise/understand that I do take care of my body by not putting foods or drinks that I know is not beneficial for it.
I forgive myself that I haven't accepted and allowed myself to see/realise/understand that getting a job will help to be able to buy different types of foods that I haven't been able to buy that my body will love.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not see/realise/understand that I am working with clients to assist and support myself as well as them
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear what will happen on my days with my the clients.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear making mistakes with this company
i forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear making mistakes in client homes.
i forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to walk so much that I end up making it not beneficial for my body
I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to focus too much on cardio and not enough on just relaxing and letting myself put on weight.
When and as I see myself wanting to avoid coming home - I stop and I breathe - I realise that I've got disciplined structure to assist and support myself to live the type of life that I want which comes with freedom and spare time whilst still making money and to assist and support other people who need/require help in their lives.
I commit myself to cut down the time that I spend walking
Re: Danielle's Writings
Posted: 27 Jun 2018, 10:51
DAY 30: Disappointment When Not Seeing Through A Challenge That I Set For Myself
In a previous blog I talked about a structure that I use to compartmentalise knowledge/information. How I created the structure was when I wanted to create my own type of university online based schoolish website. lol. I was fed-up with debt, deadlines, not being able to complete the units because of other circumstances occurring, some of the lack of creativity in the assignments, and the clear fact that I could learn everything that I am learning just by knowing the vocabulary, the online websites, purchasing books, and meeting up with other people who have the interest. Then I went that step further and started planning how I would create my own learning place that had everything a university would have but just without deadlines, allow for students to create their own assignments, have all the tools provided to them for that set discipline, etc. I came up with something that was a little cool, but maybe too complicated for some. However, like everything that I try to bring to life I plan it all out and I reach that point of realising that I need money..... I had to put it on hold. I started working with my structure molding it and adapting it... I then just became used to using it for myself. It is now apart of my life and assists/supports me. It keeps my life structured and I like that. Now everything that I do is like an assignment that I have to complete. How this has helped me recently is it keeps me focused on the breathe, helps me to recognise what I am accomplishing every single day, helps me with time, it helps me to breakdown my participation in moments down into periods which easier to manage, reminds me of what I need to do, and helps me to forgive every single thought that I have. That being said, what tends to happen is when I am around other people, that all goes out the window.
I will go to visit people close to me who I give a lot of focus to. In that time, I will lose focus on the breath, being aware of my body, and forgiving all of the thoughts that are coming up. I will then experience a tumbling effect. I will feel disappointed in myself that I lost that discipline and I'll start having thoughts that stem from that disappointment and giving up on bothering to correct myself and continue with the structure. The comparison to this is like setting oneself a challenge and not seeing it through. With my structure, I set myself an assignment with every task that I do reminding myself of what I have to do. What is included in that is being aware of the body, breathing, and forgiving thoughts whilst doing what I need to do in my daily living. It's either a end or a complete while I am completing the task/assignment. If I do not remember to do those things, I do not get a complete I get an 'end'. What I aim for is the complete as I would like to be disciplined with remaining here, breathing, and forgiving thought GARBAGE that could take away my focus and I lose valuable concentration on the task at hand. This is a little hard on myself but removing the tumbling effect and the disappointment when I do not get a 'completed assignment' is kind of unsatisfactory so I have to do better and be more disciplined with it. It is very rewarding when I remain consistent with breath, when I do forgive thoughts and when I am aware of the body.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to feel disappointed when I do not complete every single task that I do whilst remaining consistent with breath, forgiving thoughts, and being aware of my body.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to look at marking myself with an 'E' (end) instead of a 'C' (complete) on task and assignments that I set for myself, to mean ''I am a failure'' when all it means is that I need to be/become more disciplined with being aware of breath, forgiving thoughts, and being aware of the physical.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to be less of myself around those who are close to me in my life.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to want to give up once I've spent more than hour out of my structure.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to create a tumbling effect when I do not complete the tasks, challenges or assignments that I set for myself.
I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to feel like I am letting myself down when I fall into autopilot
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that a fall equals quit
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear the challenges that I set for myself.
I forgive myself that I haven't accepted and allowed myself to see/realise/understand that no matter what situations I am in, what comes first and foremost is being aware of the breath, forgiving my thoughts and reactions, and remain focused on the physical.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to blame the environment for me not being disciplined.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to let my personalities come through instead of remain here and being myself with those closest to me.
When and as I see myself going into a tumbling effect - I stop and I breathe - I realise that I may have fallen, and forgotten, but that does not mean I quit/give up, what it means that I step up/get up, and be/become more disciplined, and correct where I had fallen.
When and as I see myself not being myself going into autopilot with those closest to me - I stop and I breathe - I realise that being in the moment with those who are closest to be will allow me to be more focused, more comfortable and more of myself.
I commit myself to be use my structure when I am with those closest to me
I commit myself to not give up on myself
Re: Danielle's Writings
Posted: 02 Jul 2018, 09:54
DAY 31: To Be A Cleaning Ninja You Have To Let Go Of That Which Holds You Back
The company I work for has an interesting way of operating. I don't like the way that they operate entirely. My company excepts the clients to provide their own equipment and products. That makes the job a little difficult because they may not have the cleaning products that are more effective and/or they could lack cleaning equipment and products that get the job done. They also charge the client way more than an independent cleaner that uses their own equipment and products. I had today wanted to blurt out to my client ''Hey, do you know that independent cleaners will charge you alot less for what I have done for you today'?''. But I have to hold back because I do not want this company to look bad and if it gets back to management then I'll get a slap on the wrist for doing so. So, I cannot tell them that. What it did it make me very eager to get my business up and running because I'll be charging a lot less for the work that I do and I'll be making way easier for the client by using my own equipment and products. I guess what this company has done is use the clients equipment and product in case something happens. For example, if someone has stone countertops and uses a acidic product on it, then the reaction between the two will means that you could do damage to the countertops. That being said, use of clients own products and equipment means that you can get away with hiring someone who has minimal cleaning experience because then it is not the cleaners' responsibility because the client had said to use that particular product and supplied it. Overall, in comparison to this company, I do see my business thriving based on what I will be offering compared to my competitors. So I am happy there.
What I did find myself experiencing before I had my first clean was some nervousness about how I was going to perform when cleaning. I had 2 hour limit. In that 2 hour limit, I've got to mop, wipe showers down, toilets down, sinks, countertops, stove, front oven, vacuum, clean bathtub, and when there is two bathrooms, two toilets, 4 bedrooms, big loungeroom, dining room, and kitchen .... You have to be a cleaning ninja. I completed all of it with 15 minutes to spare. What helped me to succeed there is my body being as small as it is, and flexible I am able to move like a ninja. This is where my body really comes in handy. I've never cleaned so fast in my life. On top of that, it was a great workout. For the physical is a workout and it takes awareness of the body because you have to maintain the safe body postures. So the bending at the knees instead of the back, etc. I thought it would be difficult but it was easier for this one. In that extra 15 minutes I was able to do more for this woman, and then she was very satisfied with the job that I did then paid me and we parted ways.
If I were to take longer in a job there is no serious problems that would occur. The worse case scenario is that I'll have to work a bit longer and/or if I am taking to long, and my client arrives home then does not want me to clean whilst they are there, then I'll just simply have to go. If the client does not want to receive my services any more then they can just fire me, and this is likely to happen one day in the cleaning business always expect the unexpected. However, the best way to avoid this is to simply move like a ninja. Effective and fast.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to feel nervous about going over the time limit that I have when I am cleaning a client's home.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to worry about going over the time limit that I have for cleaning a client's home
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to stress about not finishing in the hours that I have at a client's home.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to stress about the client coming home and I am still needing time to finish the job.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear losing the a client if I am not fast & effective at my job.
i forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear not pleasing the client with the job that I have done.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear feedback from my clients on the work that I do.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear my client's being annoyed with me because I am not fast enough.
i forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear conflict between my clients and I.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear what will happen when I am faced with a client who is not happy with my work.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not see/realise/understand that owning a business is about facing the problems and coming up with solutions for them.
I forgive myself that i haven't accepted and allowed myself to see/realise/understand that owning and operating a business is about coming up with solutions for unsatisfied customers, solutions for conflict that arise, and/or any type of solutions for the problem at hand.
I forgive myself that I haven't accepted and allowed myself to see/realise/understand that if a client is unsatisfied all that needs to be done is find a solution that is best for all and be professional about it.
When and as I see myself reacting within nervousness, worry, and/or fear about the time that I have to do a job at a client's home - I stop and I breathe - I realise that in the business world I am going to come by people who are unsatisfied with a job taking too long, the best way that I can avoid this from happening, is do the best that I can with the time that I have, and if the client is unsatisfied, then find a solution that would be best for all, and move it down that direction. There need not be any emotional reactions, and/or a disservice from my end.