Thank you Marlen !
Que the self forgiveness and self honestly.
what I am attempting here is truly a discovery of self - through self expression.
Who I am , is very much measured against and reflected by who I want to be.
Its conscious choice that we are undertaking.
One of my many fortune cookie sayings:
"If you don't think for yourself, someone else will think for you"
slightly related -
"If you have hang out with stupid people, you will do stupid things"
I've been struggling for the longest time with my cognitive dissidence.
Who am I
What do I want to do
When am I going to do it
Where am I going
Why I am going there
and most importantly
How am I going to do it
I am me!
I participate in a martial art, I belong to a martial arts club, I am a martial artist
I paint, I get paid to paint, I am a painter
I play guitar, I write songs, I am a musician
I desire women, I date women, I am womanizer (minus the negative connotation)
I smoke weed, I get stoned, I am a stoner.
I drink, I get drunk, I am alcoholic
I hear and I listen, I observe, I am an observer
I want to live in a better world, I want leave a better world when I am gone.
When am I going to make that leap.
I am going to build or join a community of like minded individuals.
I'm going have to marinate little more on this and dive deep, and hold myself accountable.
If I really want to live in a better world, why do I allow myself to participate in systems of suffering?
Because its easy.
This world was here long before I was. And continue to exist long after I have pass and faded from memory.
little rambling - but thanks for reading and the feedback
I do appreciate the forum and all its participates.