Day 1 -knowing I'm schizophrenic, and embracing myself
So I have learned fully today, that I'm schizophrenic. I am experiencing panic, and experiencing the point of not knowing what to do. I have realized that I have walked this process, not being completely aware that I am schizophrenic, and allot of consequences have happened because of this, that I wasn't self honest about taking care of, and thus, now I am breathing, and walking through the point of embracing myself, my past, my consequence within my own mind and physical body, to where I can now take on this point of schizophrenia, and can assist myself with my professional support, and can assist myself additionally with the tools of desteni.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to not have been self honest within the point of being schizophrenic.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to not have see and realized, that I must takes self responsibility for my schizophrenia, because I am in a point of having multiple personalities try and emerge themselves T once, which within this, see that I must direct myself in real time, and to assist myself with activities, such as music, walking, exercising, breathing, playing with my dog, going for drives, and to walk myself, and take it slow within myself, to assist and support myself within the understanding, that I am schizophrenic, and have a dis functioning within myself, that requires being taken care of.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to thus compare myself to other destonians, because I have seen that they are able to simply write very structurally, and very consistently, but not seeing and realizing that I am disabled in being able to just sit down and write, and must instead, walk my points within real time, in order to assist myself in doing my best in writing out my points in my daily blogs.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself, to not see and realize that if I do not take care of myself, and take it slow, that I will continue losing functionality, and will not be able to take care of myself, which thus within this, I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself, to fear taking on responsibilities, because I see that there are points of anger and rage within myself, that tend to want to emerge themselves allot, and that within this, I have seen that the possessions have been too much to handle at times. Thus within this, I see and realize that I must apply tools, reading, and expanding my education, and cognition with self directive tools, in order to assist and support myself, in seeing how I relate myself to other people, within my condition of schizophrenia.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to become scared, and activate the personality of anger, to where I see that I am schizophrenic, that I have lived this way, and that I have lived out personalities that created consequences, and have not taken self responsibility for these experiences.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to not see and realize that I must learn how to best support myself, without allowing fear to take over me, and to build a support system around me, to where I can support myself in becoming more effective when dealing with my personality possessions. Within this, I see and realize that I must prevent possessions, through taking things slow, through listening to desteni material, to read books, to talk to my family, and to not be afraid that I'm going to hurt other people around me, because I am in a position of being schizophrenic, so therefor I must accept myself as life within equal to others, and embrace myself with schizophrenia, and learn to deal with it.
Within this, I commit myself to walk this process, within the support of my family, destonians, my professional support, and to see that I can walk this process as long as I understand who I am within my process, which is a schizophrenic, and to not victimize myself, but to rather embrace myself, and to learn strength , and to learn who I am in relationship to other people as personalities, and as the experience of being schizophrenic.
Within this, I commit myself to stand in this process, and to walk this process by directing myself within practical application - scheduling my activities, breathing, writing in my journal, and learning who I am within my schizophrenia/personalities, and learning how I experience myself within personalities, and personality possessions.
I commit myself to thus make a schedule for today, on what I'm going to do - write self forgiveness on my fear and reactions from seeing I am schizophrenic in my journal, then to clean my house, etc.