Conditioning my self and body action into quantum TIME reactions
*please note: the amount and extent of forgiveness and change written here by no means reflect the depth, extent, reach and specificity I have walked this process with in my process and relationship with time in my life. Here is but a snippet, a snapshot of what I have walked to share a glimpse with all for a moment that may assist and support with a different perspective / dimension in your relationship with time. Thank you.
A self-change challenge I have faced is redefining and living the word 'slow down' as my initial bridge-step to slow down before I speak and act. This habit was so conditioned into my nature, words and actions - it would happen instantaneously. The main emotions and context involved here would be TIME and irritation linked to the idea of 'my time being taken away by someone else', apprehension connected to not getting things done in time, frustration when feeling powerless to time, blame towards others for why I don't have time, anger towards responsibilities, obligations taking up my days.
I've over time become aware of the fact that the common denominator within such moments of quantum reactions - is TIME and my relationship to it within my mind and emotions.
I forgive myself that I haven't accepted and allowed myself to consider my redefining and living of the word SLOW DOWN as my momentarily bridge-support in changing my relationship with TIME - in a way of including the SOUNDING of the word TIME in AFRIKAANS within TYD. TYD is the Afrikaans translation of TIME in English. When observing the sound symbolism in the word TYD is states: T = Choice, Y = My Stand as Who I Am and D = Brought into Creation.
I forgive myself that I haven't accepted and allowed myself to consider how including the sounding of the letters in the word TYD can specify my practical real time change when it comes to my slowing down bridge-support moment, the moment I notice I am accepting and allowing myself to access quantum reactions related to time within myself, my mind. By specifying the QUESTion I ask of myself in such moment as follows: "Who or what's choice is defining who I am in this moment that is going create my and another's experience?"
I forgive myself that I haven't accepted and allowed myself to see, realise and understand that my current relationship with TIE-ME has TIED ME into a world of rushing, stress, falls and fumbles by approaching so many moments and things in this real, physical world with EMOTIONAL ENERGY in an EMOTIONAL STATE - duly making myself prone to accidents, emotional outbursts, relationship / communication misunderstandings and so inevitable consequence; the moment my energetic mind and state comes crashing back to a solid, sturdy and stable standing reality.
I forgive myself that I still, to this day on occasion - shift from the stability, calm and depth of matter, the physical, the real world into the consciousness world of energetic states; leading down the same road as outcome of crashing back into reality as I gravitate into my original state with and as my physical body.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to, in moments of shifting into quantum reactions in my emotional relationship with time - separate my self, my stand, who I am, here in a moment in my relationship with who and what is right here with me in and as this real world.
I forgive myself that I haven't accepted and allowed myself to see, realise and understand how the moment I shift into my mind, consciousness and emotions - I equally so abdicate my ability to CHOOSE who I am in thought, word and deed as in that moment, my memories and emotions take control, take over my mind, being and body and so define my words and actions.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to disempower, victimize myself in moments, in this real world, in my relationship with my own voice and actions by accepting and allowing myself to abdicate my response-ability, choice, stand and self definition into and as my own compromising and sabotaging consciousness programming.
I here take response-ability, gifting myself with the ability-to-respond when and as I move myself in that one moment I notice a quantum reaction emerge - to take an in-breathe and slow down, instead of speaking and acting. As in this moment of slowing down, I have the ability to assess the choice of who I am in my stand / nature in that moment and consider the outcome / creation of my words and actions that creates me, my relationships and my world.
I will dedicatedly and committedly practice - to equally take this opportunity of moment of slowing down and assessing who I am before I speak and act, to all other moments in my life I recognise and see I am doing exactly the same. As I have come to see, realise and understand that it doesn't help only trying to change a behaviour / reaction in ONE CONTEXT, such as time - when mostly, how the mind works, is in an interconnected and networked way. This means that there are many other moments and contexts where this exact same pattern of quantum reactions exists. In this, I will assert myself to transform / change my living choice in moments in every and all moments I recognise this pattern - to truly set myself free from my own ties to my own thoughts and emotions shifting me from living here and abdicating my choice and so self creation .
I redefine myself and living as TYD - from TIE-ME I stand as Y (centered in my self, arms outstretched) as standing in my self, living my choice of being the best I can be in thought, word and deed in any given moment for myself and others. In so doing, seeing myself free from my relationship with time in my mind and emotions to gift myself to ability to live HERE as MOMENTS in a day.