The Ridiculousness of Being a Jerk

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Mike McDonald
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War as Inner Friction - Physical Addiction

Postby Mike McDonald » 24 Feb 2019, 02:37

PHYSICAL ADDICTION – WAR As INNER FRICTION

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to not realizing and understand the extent to which i've created suppression within my physical body.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to perpetuate a state of war in the world as an outflow of my very words and inner frictions.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for not realizing the extent to which i've been feeding off my physicality and maintiaing a high like status of sorts where i am sepearated from being grounded as life itself Here.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to diminish my best expressions as a result of becoming preoccupied with the addiction to inner friction.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to not realize, understand and know I got caught up in my own mind possession of the manifestation and play out of my very physical addiction to inner friction.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to welcome fighting and feuding and attacking and defenses...and all forms of war.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for not realizing and understanding the very gravity of my words within myself and how there's been an extensive addiction within myself to creating friction...where it's like I am always seeking out ways to squeeze myself from the inside out ...not realizing the gravity of such behaviours and the consequence of such a nature.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for looking to pick fights with anyone and everyone who disagrees with my thinking in some shape or form.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to make a game out of war.....war games where it's like i stategize my words in particular way where i am always right and the other is always wrong if i am engaged in battle so to speak.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for not realizing and understanding the difference of looking through my physical eyes veruss looking through the eyes of mind as me me me i am so great and better than the rest.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for not realizing my own stupidity within and as the very fighting within myself and so to the world as a whole.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to speak abusive language to my peers.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to justify abusive language as a result of accepting and allowing it within myself and within this – i forgive myself for accepting and allowing an attitude of seek and destroy...and crushing it....crushing whatever i do not agree with as like the very being addicted to the positve energy experience that is extracted from the negative energy of myself within my physical body.....the experience is like that of a squeezing and sucking..

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to jump at the war games opportunity to talk shit about weed as a way to invoke reactions in others....thinking weed needs to be defended as a point that is overly misrepresented as being evil.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for wanting to make weed out to be like a hero sort of thing – not realizing my own games within myself.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to consume myself within fighting and putting other people down.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for not realizing the extent to which i put myself down...and then retaliate by taking it out onto existence as a whole...not realizing the gravity of my misconduct.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to get caught up in my own neglect.


I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to discount the extent to which i've become addicted to fighting...especially as form of chirping....also known as talking shit. I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to talk so much shit to myself and so to all of existence.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to resist listening.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for not realizing the ridiculousness of resisting to listen.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to take great offense to the war on drugs and within this...i forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for not realizing and understanding the Physical Addiction manifestation...the very war maching of the world system in fact....the very money printing press of heinous abuse that is both justified and excused as being logical.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to believe and buy into the thinking ....the very war game thinking ...that i simply need to channel friction outward so to speak...as like the very belief that my creativity comes from a place of friction...and that if i do not have some sort of frcition within myself...than i cannot in fact move very easily and or be effctive in speaking and or communicating.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing to disregard Life Itself Here.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to isolate myself from Life Itself Here.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for not realizing how important it is to walk as a group and not be a solo missionary fighter so to speak – because in going it alone solo styles...where there's like this disregard from needing anybody's help....it's a point of suppression in fact...it's a point of fighting....the very creation of friction and war in and as the world here.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for not realizing and understanding how the world system of consciousness in fact functions as the war machine for profit.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to become lost for a moment within walking alone the world system of money.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to have an attitude that nobody can really help me like i can help myself...and that the only way to really flesh things out is through consequence.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to create an extensive relationship of suppression within my physical body to such an extent where it's like this addiction to pain and suffering and it's mostly glossed over to such an extent that even when i experience such great pains...i look to self medicate myself with laughter.

I do realize that laughter as a medicine is very effective in letting go and forgiving onself. I do realize that my awareness into comedy has come from the serious investigations into my own in house fighting...pains...frustrations...difficulties.

I realize the funny and the comedy is so much so the flip side of seriousness and the two are intinsically related. I realize i've had a real tendency to take things too far in terms of Not Stopping...earthing...grounding myself here through breath. I realize this is the physical addiction to positive energy.

I realize i've been experimenting a great deal in a variety of ways...and that i've made some mistakes in terms of giving/gifting/sharing my best with reality.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for not realizing the gravity of my inner reality and so to my outter reality to such an extent that it is shameful to see that i could be so careless.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to abuse my physical body and so to the body of all life here as the phsyical substance made manifest.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to think it cool to hevaily attack...and call out people's weaknesses. I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to jusitfy attacking people in what i perceive as weaknesses...not realizing and understanding the full gravity of my own weaknesses in standing as life itself here.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to justify and excuse a physical addiction to inner conflict and friction....thinking that suppression in any form or shape is valid way of existing. I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for not realizing and understanding the extent to which I've been able to wrestle with myself mostly into submission of various positions...while still holding myself in and as a state of 'in house fighting'.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for thinking that process should become more about fighting as a way to create change that is best in the world. I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to derive positive eneregy experiences from fighting.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for not realizing and understanding this positive energy addiction to friction itself has been a survival system within myself...as like how to fight for my right to exist here in this world system.....i forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for not realizing the extent to which I have been a prolific abuser that preys upon others.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for not realizing and understanding the extent of my physical addiction to friction.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to exist like a pirate of sorts...where it's like i just go around and dont think too much about what i say or do and just kind of in the moment let things happen....within this i forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for not realizing the extent to which the world system of money has been somewhat automated within myself as like the war for profits so to speak.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to neglect consideration for all the suffering in the world...and especially so for the children throughout the world.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to create a disgraceful display of my behavior to my peers and acquaintances.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to spit in the face of life itself here – by talking and spewing so much bullshit.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to momentairly throw my whole process journey out the window so to speak as like becomming so possesed in my addiction to inner friction...and becomming so obsessed with engagement as a point of friction that i was having a feeding friendzy of sorts. I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to tolerate such heinous abuse in myself and so to the world. I realize this playout to be supportive in allowing me to see the gravity of my programming in the physical....where it's like it's some work for me to flesh out best change in terms of actually matter of fact grounding and walking myself here consistently step by step without wavering in any way shape of form in terms of my in the moment breath awareness regards and stand.

I realize this is a wake up call for me – and a crash landing prevention as i've received the memo from all my peers who have been so increible in support and assistance to aid me in standing up within and as my mind/body addcition to friction.

I reaalize, understand and know the point – till here no further – as i will not accept and allow myself to be so callous in and as my word pariticpations.

I realize i simply cannot justify the talking of some seriously abusive shit...i realize that form of conduct is exactly what proliferates hell on earth.

I realize it is my responsibility to remeidate the consequences of my actions...and that it is an ongoing process play as this is quite a serious point of regard as this fighting is why the world is the way it is as a whole...in terms of all of us humans here and how we are in fact co-existing. I realize i have a responsibility to live and express that which is best for all life and that does not mean cherry picking who i will abuse and fight...that it is simply unacceptable to be abusve with our words.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for misusing my words and consequnetly millitarizing my words as weapons so to speak and bombs of confusion and delusion.

I realize it's actually in fact so ridiculous to be addicted to fighting and feuding...becuase what that means is destruction/abuse/violence/suppression to living my utmost potential

I forgive mself for accepting and allowing myself to carry a burden as what it means to walk the process journey to life – a burden in that it's like believing that i just got to keep fighting my way here – not realiing that is a really stupid starting point – like 'just got to fight my way here – i mean think of every human saying that...as their starting point of being here – i mean we get a situation where everyone is like a chicken with their head cut off...and going arund with abslutely no self-direction whatsoever in any way shape or form.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for attempting to superimpose self-direction for myself as like getitng opportunities as a result of pressing buttons and causing frictions...as a way to advertise and market myself....i forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for not realizing and undertsanding how lame i've been within attacking my peers.

I realize regardless of whether someone is my 'peer' or not....attacking anyone isn't really cool. I realize that 'putting people down'' who are in fact living here – is an abussive point of suppression and a verbal form of violence and is not a matter to be taken lightly as our words determine and in fact create the very status of our shared world here.

I commit myself to slowing down in breath moment by moment -

I commit myself to stopping the physical addiction to inner friction.

I commit myself to stop abusing myself for an energetic experience.

I commit myself to stopping in one moment when and as i see my mind kick in as a form of possession.

I commit myself to understanding, knowing, and stopping a physical dependency upon the creation of friction within and as my body.

I commit myself to grounding myself within and as my body.

I commit myself to letting go of the fight as the very war on drugs.

I commit myself to taking care to share my best regards.

I commit myself to the continued practice of best response ability.

I commit myself to fine tuning my misstakes into substantial self-corrections.

I commit myself to standing as an example of what it in fact means to live my best word and world regards as physically grounded here as life itself.

I commit myself to utilizing my resources effectively to support in the creation of a world that is best for all life.

I commit myself to living words as the expression of who I am Here as Life Itself.

I commit myself to being studious in living my self-corrections.

I commit myself to making ammends with my mistakes.

I commit myself to the 'seriousness' of practicality in living self-corrections.

I commit myself to work and play daily to refine my best living of words as what it in fact means to live words as life itself here.

I commit myself to listening.

I commit myself to taking my time in crafting my best response abilities – realizing, understanding and knowinig when i move too quick in the moment...that i become sloppy as it is an opportunity for the mind to step in...and for lack of a better phrasing...'muck barn'.





Blame as a Form of Spite and Justification for Abusive Action:

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to perpetuate abuse in the forms of blame, spite and justification – where the outflow is a sort of misdirected blame that comes across as spite that is justified as acceptable.

I realize the ridiculousness of creating any sort of reasoning to speak poorly about another person – i realize it reflects not so much on the others as it does with my own poor care taking and responsibility best practiced management.

When and as I see myself making a mistake in my words – I grant myself the courtesy and grace to make necessary corrections. I realize that the sooner i take action in making self-corrections for my misplaced actions – the sooner i begin the healing process for the consequnces of abuse done onto myself and so the world as my words are one and equal a manifestation of the world.

I commit myself to stopping any and all forms of blame, spite, and justification.

I commit myself to learning from my mistakes, recognizing the shame in my erros and utilizing that to support me in preventing unnecessary compunding repetition of the same grave error.


Money:

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to justify abusive language onto another as a result of feeling wronged, betrayed and or cheated out of money.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to support fighting for money.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for holding onto a belief that in order to create substantial amounts of money in this world one must be an agitator and a disruptor of sorts in order to stir the pot...and therefore creating momentum of energy.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to sabotaging my body for money.

When and as I see myself going into conflict with someone about money – i stop and breathe, i realize that perpetuating war doesn't in fact support best case solutions. I commit myself to challenging myself to speak with the grace of forgiveness and from the heart.

Sorrow:

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to beat myself up momentairly upon realizing the error in my ways/actions.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to talk shit to myself.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing others to talk shit to me.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to think that the best response to shit talking is more shit talking.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to deflect from self-reflection when I experience immediate sorrow in realizing the errors of my actions. I realize that it is not acceptable and till here no futher can i allow even a moment of wallowing as a result of realizing my mistakes. I realize it is a waste of time to have a pity party in any way for any amount of time.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to utilize sorrow as a means and justification for fighting in my environment..most specifically with the way i engage my words with others.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for not realizing and understanding the pains within my body.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to distract myself from the pains i experience in my body.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to cope with discomforts...fighting so to speak...as like just kicking my own ass into movement.


When and as I experience Sorrow – I stop and breathe – I look and see the specifics of the sorrow – I forgive myself and move onward without the baggage/limitation.

I commit myself to taking immediate action in recognizing when and as I experience sorrow. I realize my best action is self-corrective action. I realize the process play is a matter of fine tuning my best regards.



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Mike McDonald
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The Ridiculousness of Being a Jerk

Postby Mike McDonald » 24 Feb 2019, 02:38

The Ridiculousness of Being A Jerk
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for not realizing the ridiculousness of being a Jerk.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for not realizing and understanding the gravity of Oneness and Equality from and as the Starting point of the Physical. I realize there is an extensive difference from perceiveing Oneness and Equality from a frame of Mind. I realize any and all frames of Mind are in fact limited and can perpetuate a Mind Dissonance in seeing clearly here.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing a warped sense of humor at times where I am playing against everyone and the joke/funny isn't best for all it's a sort of manipulated debt based thing where it's at the expesne of others - I realize, understand and know that this isn't in fact 'real' funny and it's a twisted and manipulated form of abuse.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for being quick to cut down an individual's character.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for being quick to publicly another.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for not realizing the finger pointing nature of being a jerk where it's a form of deflection of personal responsibility.

I forgve myself for accepting and allowing myself for validating/justifying/excusing Jerk like behavior.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to perpetuate Jerk Like behavior by playing copy cat when and as i see and experience something I don't like.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to think being a jerk is ok if the people you are engaging are also jerks - I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for creating stupid reasoning as a way to think myself into being a jerk...as like not wanting to miss out on the action.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to get caught up in the energy of being a Jerk.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to jerk off with my words. I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for not realizing the personal responsibility in care taking for every word that comes out of my mouth - I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to excuse jerk like behavior.

When and as I see myself going into Jerk Mode - I stop and breathe - I realize the ridiculousness of being a Jerk - it's really a deeper point of self-neglect...self-sabotage and that there's a point of self-reflection to see in and as the point of what the Jerk represents as a the triger. I commit myself to investigating and being clear on my triggers before any and all responses come from me...I realize sloppy speak is a recipe for diastor and is a real jerk off way to live that isn't helpful to anyone or anything here.

I commit myself to correcting my misfortunes as my misstakes.

I commit myself letting go of any apparent need to be a Jerk.



mikelammers
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Re: War as Inner Friction - Physical Addiction

Postby mikelammers » 24 Feb 2019, 12:08

Thanks Mike. That was most helpful!



Marlen
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Re: War as Inner Friction - Physical Addiction

Postby Marlen » 24 Feb 2019, 15:06

It's good to read and understand what you are dealing with Mike, assists me to understand the pattern and play out better. Keep taking care and thanks for sharing



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Mike McDonald
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Physical Energy Addiction - Deeper Dimensions

Postby Mike McDonald » 25 Feb 2019, 05:11

DAY 806 - PHYSICAL ENERGY ADDICTION - DEEPER DIMENSIONS
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for not realizing nor ever really investigating the extent to which i exist in and as physical addiction to energy by virtue of the fact that i have a physical body.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for discounting the very physical substance of myself Here.

I forgive myself fro accepting and allowing myself to excuse the extent to which I have neglected to investigate my physical substance.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for not realizing and understanding that all physical substance Here is an extenstion/reflection of my physical substance here - one and equal as life itself here.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for never really questioning my early formative years as to how my relationship with my physical substance was in fact Informed.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for not really understanding the dynamics of consciousness energy onto my physical substance as like a 'sucking experience'.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for not realizing the emotional pain and trauma i experienced in my formative years that was suppressed/repressed because i did not have the vocabulary to specifically define the experience and I in fact trusted in my parents and everyone who entered my environment without even really understanding the nature and design of Permission to accept and allow abuse.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for not realizing how I created a victim mentality in my formative years as self-defeated and that I just buried the burdens of my a'parent misfortunes.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for not realizing and understanding the extent to which Sugar was one of the most prominent sooothers for me in terms of easing my discomforts and burried suppression/repression.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for never really investigating why it is that it is so accepted as common as simply not being able to remember too much of my existence here in reality before the age of 5 or 6 years of age.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for not really investigating the extent to which everything in this physical reality influences the substance of my physicality here.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to suppress myself to such a great extent that I made myself numb to experiencing the gravity of pain and discomfort in which i carry as burden on a daily basis as the consequence of untapped potential wasting away day by day due to my own neglect.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to polarize myself to such an extent that i didn't even know i was existing in polarity within myself on a physical level where my experiences are perceptions are tainted within and as the physical addiction to energy as my very substance here.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for not realizing and understanding the extent to which I exist Here as Physical Substance.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for never really questioning, 'what does it mean to substantiate and best care for my physical substance here.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for never really questioning my vocabulary to the extent to which the words I apparently know might in fact be tainted within and as my addiction to physical energy.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for not really ever considering that deeper dimension of my mind...as my mind being my software to my body physical hardware could influence and perpeutate a sort of closed cycle feedback loop within and as the consumption of myself as the junkie being junked over the years as my physicality is depleted as a result of the very beast of burden that lives within me.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for not realizing and understanding how I've been addicted on a physical level to the low, medium and high energy experiences of myself to such an extent that it's all par for the course in terms of coping with the suppression that exists as my univestigated earliy formative year traumas where i did not in fact have an adequate vocabulary developped.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for never ever really considering the consequences of not taking the time to make sure each and every single letter of myself is refined...fine tuned....remediated and in fact stands as a specifically programmed into the flesh sound alignment here. I realize this world is a physically sound reality and that my every word...my every move influences the very nature and design of physical substance here. I realize, understand that abuse cannot exist unless I allow it within myself - that the substance of life itself cannot be abused - only mindconsciousness sytems can be abused in fact.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to have the audacity to judge another in any way whatsoever - thining i know better based on the knowledge and information i have within my body as a physical energy addiction system that the mind consciousness system utilizes the ineffective vocabulary of myself to accelerate the feeding frenzy.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to think that i am better than I am.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to project shit onto others who are in fact expressing their raw in the moment freestyle expressions as the infinite here moment of breath - the very inbetween moment as the - timeless time between consciousness of fear here.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for not realizing and understanding the source of physical energy addiction as fear itself here.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to exist in a form of self-denial where i've been blissfully ignorant of my own in house keeping as the very garden i tend to.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for not realizing and understanding the extent to which i make sense of things from a corrupted way of thinking - that 'my way' of thinking isn't even in fact my own - because i never took the time to in fact make sure every letter of the alphabet and so too every word of my vocabulary is in fact aligned as structurally sound support here.

I realize and understand that this is a process of self-realization an ong going day by day fine tuning of sorts as i purify the substance of myself here as life itself here - fleshed out in and as the physical here - the epitome of birthing/grounding myself here as life in fact - matter of fact - as the very matter to the core - the source here.

I realize the experience of panic comes up often on a deeper dimension of mind as my way of going into the physical energy addiction that i justify as necessary in order to read effectively my environment because my reading ability is tainted within and as an inferior vocabulary.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to dismiss the critical nature of vocabulary in terms of my effectiveness as what it in fact means to live as a self-responsible human being.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to half ass my words to the extent that i will believe others who demonstrate a far superior vocabulary and capacity to process here to me - to be in fact fucked and the real abuser here - when in fact the inverse is true. I realize this isn't a point of self-defeat but simply a point of recognition as to where I am at within and as my process journey to life here.

I realize that like breath - process is a bit byb bit process here - as i purify myself in and as thought, word and deed. I realize, understand and know that there's no time off of process so to speak - that process is a 24/7 playwright as the very self-love here as my work is made visible in the sharing expressions of myself as what it means to flesh out - birth - my best response abilities.

I realize as I am first responsible for tending to my own nest...my own burdens before i can in fact really assist or tell anyone effectively what it is in fact they must do - i realize that so long as i have unresolves issues inside myself - my effectiveness in supporting others here is limitted. I realize that even though my effectiveness may be limitted it is not in vain - as process is always a 24/7 self reflection here and it's a matter of fact playwright as the author of and as my creation here.

I realize that within and as the recognition of my creation here - that extends outward as the flowing expression from within myself as the process goes from without to within and from within to without as the very follow through swing of sorts as what it means to live and move here s as the infinite moment of breath.

I realize, understand that my physical capacity for work is much greater than i give myself credit for - that as the mind is understood, known and in fact utilize as optimum software support to assist the best running / working of and as my physical body/substance here - i am operating in a sort of superior way to the way i previously existed here - and within this there's a responsibility to share the gold so to speak as the standing awareness to best support each one to unlock their utmost potential as what it in fact means to be physically grounded in and as the physical here.

I realize, understand and know that if I haven't in fact taken the time to develop and refine my vocabulary for me alone - and so to check and re-check my vocabular for any and all necessary remediations - my words to a certain extent are tainted - and I am simply in the process of daily correcting my missalignments as flaws within and as my best word regards.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for not realizing and understanding the similarities to the experience of sex from a mind perspective and the way in which the physical addiction to energy in fact works. I realize, understand and know this to be an eventual moment of 'shortage of breath' where there's even in many instances what seems like a delivberate shortage of breath - where I recogonize i am going into a yawn and i do nothing about it - i realize when and as i go into a yawn...it's an indicator that i haven't been breathing effectively and my mindconsciousness system is about to do a reset - rebooting - which is a compounding of system integration as the very feeding off my physical susbtance here.

I realize, understand and know that when and as I have difficulty focusing myself effectively and efficiently i am in fact in a physical energy addiction. I realize my ability to focus and listen and reflect attentively is critical.


To be Continued



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Mike McDonald
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Taking Offense as The Ultimate Defense

Postby Mike McDonald » 25 Feb 2019, 19:01

DAY 807 - TAKING OFFENSE AS THE ULTIMATE DEFENSE
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for not realizing and understanding the extent to which I've become a masterful defensman in that I can defend any position I am In for Better or for Worse as I've battled tested myself countless times and I always come back from Battle with More Strength, Ability and Agility in the ways in which I am able to Know Myself Here.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to manipulate myself without fear of consequence into every position i could and couldn't conceive possible.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for not realizing and understanding the extent to which I've literarly got the attitude of fuck fear in that I will fight through any and all self-imposed limitations - even if that means momentairly making a real ass hat out of myself.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to for moments in time get caught up in the corss fires of my physical addiction to inner friction where it's like I can super charge a flying high inpentrable defense as like the ultimate defense and basically take myself to the breaking point - where i eventually must quite literarly piece myself back together again.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for taking the approach of 'the ultimate fighter' to heart where it's in mean to beat the bullshit out of myself no matter what - and if it gets messy than that is just par for the course.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for not realizing and understanding the gravity of the intensitify of myself as i've literaly walked a process of crushing every point of bother within myself into oblivion.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for not realizing and understanding the extent of my stamina and endurance as the very propensity and patience to keep going into a point whern all seems lost, unknown and unfamiliar - I realize that in many ways this has been my saving grace - the flip side of the coin so to speak - that my weakness has in fact being my greatest strength - the willingness to fight for my standing, walking, living awareness of what it means to stand up for myself no matter what - no matter what i face i will surivive and thrive - and that like a fine wine i only become stronger as like I am Here as strength and conditioning as what it means to give myself everything I got.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for not totally understanding the extent to which I've been throwing my weight around and just how extensively intsensively i've been pressing upon myself in order to crush my suppression and birth myself a new - that do to the extensive nature of physical addiction within and as the very susbtance of myself here - i've literarly been breaking myself down from the inside out as a way to flesh out and change - spiting my spite in fact and killing my ego as any ideas and perceptions i have about myself as any concern for protecting myself in survival mode here - taking a thrashing somewhat perhaps reckless approach of literally diving head first into what ever is at hand - coming from a place of knowing deep down that I am willing to face whatever it is no matter what.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for using all of existence in a way as like sort of with me but also against me from the perspective that each is in the process of preventing crash landing here on earth as playground planet awesome - within this outlook and regard as one of the many space ships here - I realize it's not a race to the bottom so to speak - and that it is in fact in my best and so to all of life itself here - the best interest of all - to humor myself here - as to like chirp the shit literally out of myself and sharing the gold that i've created from and as the planting and rebirthing of myself a new - here.

I realize understand that in many ways my propensity towards competing and competition and making sport in so many ways my religion as like a life religion as sport itself here - i've created a playing field of Best Regards - and within this - I am walking a process of standing in Physical Awareness Here as what it means to Be a Team Player as the Captain of My Own Ship and a Mate to All Other Ships Here. I Realize the Grounding Physical Birthing Process isn't so much a competition of sorts as like some make it and some don't with the race of the human race limitted type initial thinking of winners and losers - no that is the grave error of the epitome of an amazing disgrace - in fact the matter of reality here is a sort of tag team assist and support as like making the golden parachute real in fact as all together here we slow down as we approach the ground - literally forming the 'eye' of the needle together as what it means to hold hands and walk this world together - all here - in and as part of the life circle and cycle itsel here - facing each other as all the faces of existence here as the formless form - like the eggman/woman....beyond sex.....simply eggs here.

I realize the extensive nature in which I've been willing to challenge the living application of myself to the point where i've literally taken myself to the edge of standing to the point of tragic fall - only to everytime realize my footing and standing and the specificty in growing pains as the very labor pains in doing the work necessary to flesh out my best standing here.

I realize I've been a real beast of sorts in my living both for better and for worse - depending on the moment of sorts as i've been a fighter through and through as the very process of walking understanding as my inferior position to all life here as equal and one - into and and as the standing awareness of what it in fact means to stand here as life physical susbtance in fact - substantially living and creating myself here - fine tuning my effectiveness in communications as my very way of expressing effectiveness in application.

I commit myself to the Best Regards of Myself and So to Everyone Here as an Extension and External Version of MySelf Here.

I commit myself to Humoring Myself as I realize and in fact know without a shadow of a doubt that I got to the core of me the real gift of humor and humility in what it means to take response ability for myself and my environment and walk the corrections necessary in order to substantiate our best rewards as the very icing on the cake as the celeberated just desert as the recognition and regards for our very best regards here as the epitome of the awe in awesome.

I commit myself to sharing my standing as the beast of burden here - the ultimate fighter - and so to the ultimate problem solver as the dude willing to crack the code - the very encryption to my programmed software and hardware here - realizing and standing in awareness as the words of life itself here man as what it means to flesh out and change the very nature and fabric of life itself here.

I realize, understand and know that this is the eye of the needle for real in fact as the stopping and preventing of the crash landing...the crash and burn calamity of to tail spin out of control beyond measure where all is lost as like the giving up on oneself - I realize, understand and know that failure is not an option because I will quite literarlly left in the face of pain when and as I am faced with the point of being poked and pricked to my very core - as I've created a way to play in releasing myself from the suffering i've done onto myself as the very pains and trauma's i've self-manifested as my very missed standing.

I commit myself to finetuning the living effectiveness of my best sharing communications.

I commit myself to sharing my best regards as what it means to humor myself and so to my mates - with the dignity and grace as the very living of my utmost potential here.

I commit myself to honoring myself as the work made visible here as what it means to in fact live for real without hesitattion - the courage and honor of my very best self-regards - a real pleasure to share Here.

I commit myself to sharing the humor in humoring myself as You is Me in Another Life Here as we are all in this together as Individual Parts of The Same Substance/Fabric of Existence/Life Here Man.


To Be Continued



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Mike McDonald
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ENVY

Postby Mike McDonald » 26 Feb 2019, 18:38

Taken from the Blog: https://michaelwilliammcdonald.blogspot ... ystem.html

(To see the whole blog - please visit the link - and or see the complete post in the section, 7 Year Journey to Life)


BASIC SELF-FORGIVENESS to Support Purity of Word and World Regards as Our Best Regards:

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for not realizing, understanding and knowing both sides of Envy as the Positive Attributes and the Negative Attributes.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to get caught up in Envy without realizing it when and as I become 'sided'.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for not realizing and understanding the care taking in particular with Envy as a point of utmost regards otherwise it's easy to slip into the field of battle so to speak as less than my living of my Best Regards.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to become offended when and as someone tells me that they are envious of me and my lifestyle.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to become burdened within Envy.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for not realizing and understanding the Similiarity and Same Difference within and as the Energetic Physical Addiction to Envy as Both a Positive Energy Addiction and a Negative Energy Addiction. I realize, understand, and know that if I am Charged within the word in any way - there's a point of cognitive dissonance within myself that requires effective remediation to fine tune my standing in awareness as the Living Word Itself Here as Always Best - Structurally Sound - Well Built - Harmonious Clarity.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for not realizing and understanding the ridiculousness of getting caught up within and as positive and negative word Regards from the perspective of Feeling and Emotion Experiences Based on My Interpretation of the Words themselves Here. I realize, understand and know this to be a point of personal self-accountability as the what it meanns to be a responsible human as the care taking regards for our Words In Fact - as Our Words Create and Shape the World as a Whole Here.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for not realizing and understanding the propensity to go into Attack Mode when and as I am Frustrated within and as a Point of Envy.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for not realizing, understanding and knowing the deeper dimensions of Envy.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to beat myself up when and as I experience friction in my reality where my reality is showcasing to me a clear dissonance in terms of standing awareness in and as the Living Words. I realize, understand and know my personal responsibility as a care taker in this world to the purity of word and world regards.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to daily practice the fine tuning of my vocabulary as what it means to live words as the showcassing of my very regards for the world as what is best for all life in all ways here. I realize the personal responsibility to daily investigate, play with, test - as i realize it is in the Testing as my showcasing Application Effectiveness or Ineffectiveness that I am able to Fine Tune and or Expand or Contract on and as the very self-created Application In Fact.

I commit myself to utilizing Envy as an Example to Support Myself and My Peers as I realize I share a world and word body with my Peers. I realize All Life Here is my Peer - Equal and One as Life Itself here in this One World/Word Class of Play as what it means to Love as Our Work is Made Visible.

I commit myself to utilize Envy as a template living example to asssist and support the expansion of my living effectiveness in terms of taking the time in space to open up my standing awareness within each and every word I have not substantiated and in fact tested effectively over time and space - i realize Envy also to be a tool of refinement for the words I have in fact created cool Applications for and as The Living of Myself Here - I realize within the Outlook and Regard, "A Day is Lifetime and Then Sum/Some"...That new life opportunities/presents emerge always to assist and support the process play and working of Fine Tuning Our best Structural Alignment.

I commit myself to opening up and exploring the humor within and as my darkness as the less than talked about finer points of humanity as the detective willing to investigate all things here and Share the Best Regards.

I realize my self-responsibility in Opening Up and Sharing Standing Awareness not only for First Myself - But So to All My Peers as the Gift of Giving - The Very Epitome of Live to Give and Treat my Mates with my Best Treats. I realize the Best Treatment so to Speak is in Sharing and Showcasing My Best Regards.

I realize, understand and know that my Best Regards are rather extensive in terms of abilities, skills, and talents and within this there is also a delicate balance of tenderness, gentlenss, humility, humbleness and humor as what it means to walk with another unconditionally...regardless of where they are at in and as the process of word and world purification Here.

I realize, understand and know that sometimes there becomes misunderstanding in the very living and sharing of our best regards and that sometimes it's best to let things go for a moment as one part of multiple parties requires time and space to flesh out new found realizations alone so to speak as the very point of self-inestigation sometimes requires a step back in order to take two or more steps forward as the coming all together standing awareness Here.



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Mike McDonald
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Creation Is In Word Play Application(s)

Postby Mike McDonald » 27 Feb 2019, 23:59

DAY 809 - Creation is In Word Play Application(s)

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for not realizing, understanding, and knowing what it means to create living word Applications - where I In real time - play with my words and test out various applications as myself here in the moment - I realize, understand and know that in testing/experimenting my Living Word Applications, it's an in the moment thing in terms of me moving and speaking as the expressions of myself here. I realize, understand, and know the expression of me comes from a place of silence. I realize, understand and know how to flow within and as the infinite moment of Breath.

I realize, understand and know that word and world regards is a point of self-movement. I realize, understand and know that my effectiveness in and as my self-movement here is a result of and as the very effectiveness in knowing, understanding, testing, experimenting WITH the very playing and working with and as my words.

I realize, understand and know that as I investigate my word and word relationships - I am able to see these relationships more clearly - i realize, understand and know that I cannot judge anyone's word and world relationships - I realize, my ability to assist and support myself and so to Life Itself Here - Stems from and as the point of Keep It Simple Stupid.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for not realizing and understanding the cryptography of word and world regards - where it's like my words are locked up and are suppressing me untill i in-fact unlock my access to my words in fact - as, Creative Real Time Application(s).

I realize my ability to communicate effectively and move efficiently in terms of my participation within myself wherever I am in Reality is a result of my self-standing here as Who I am Here as the Living Words and so too my Application Effectiveness.

I realize, understand and know that my Word Applications are Self-Created as an outflow of my artistic expressions as how I experiment and play with my Words. I realize, understand and know this to be a point of self-movement - to have the self-trust - the knowing inner confidence of Who I am Here.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for not realizing and understanding how firewalls work as like behaviour system viruses - specifically when and as I encounter words in my world that are being used in a way that is beyond my current standing, comprehension, ability.

I realize the self-honesty of myself to ask questions when and as I am uncertain on the point being expressed by another.

I realize, understand and know - when I speculate on the starting point of another's word usage that I am in fact separating myself from and as myself here and I am for a moment lost in and as self-judgement.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to utilize my words in a a policing type of way where i am demanding and speaking in a way where it's like I am playing authority over another so to speak - I realize I am only every the Authority of myself here - I realize I am Both a Teacher and Student through and through.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to at times get caught up in exploring the depths of myself in word and world regards that I am somewhat inconsiderate of those in my world who do not seem to be interested in challenging their very Living Word and World Regards.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to be resistant to humoring those who I see are judging me.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for having a tendency to want to deliberately fuck with people I percieve to be judging me in some shape or form.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for getting frustrated with myself at times for pushing so hard to engage with others I know are judging me and do not in fact see me for who I am - but only through the mind of limitation as knowledge and information.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for not realizing and understanding that when I become frustrated with communicating with a peer - it is revealing to me a point of suppression - where it's like I need to simply dumb down the language i am using - and be more simple stupid in a way as like just use a few words and be as direct as possible without getting caught up in the antedote of minsing words so to speak by using many words to say very little -

I commit myself to be rather substantiat in my each and every communication.

I commit myself to exersing my capacity to play with my words.

I commit myself to daily playing as the love in and as my work made visisble.

I commit myself to sharing my awareness as what it means to create applications as the very answer and solution to the question - 'what it in fact means to play with your words'

I commit myself to sharing my awareness of how in fact our best work is always inside our best plays - and how with this Regard - The Inverse is also True - That Our Best Plays are within and as The Work We Do.

I commit myself to share the Equality and Onensss - the Balance as Work and Play Here together as Who we are in fact - beyond the limitations of consciousness.

I commit myself to utilizing my experiences as examples to show the processes i've walked in fleshing out substantial changes within myself.

I commit myself to stop expecting people to simply see what is super obvious to me - i realize there's a parent patience process here - the humbleness and humility to walk with someone and not berate them in a way when in fact they are already in a very fragile state and too much intensity can simply crush their spirits

I commit myself to sharing regard and awareness for the fact that out real potential and life force cannot in fact be crushed - only mind ego bullshit can in fact be crushed and destroyed. I commit myself to exercise both intensity and delicacey in crushing through mind system programming.

I commit myself to walk my mates to the door of self-change as change itself here.

I commit myself to letting go of ever 'feeeling the need to explain myself to someone when they come at me with blatant disregard' - I realize sometimes there's a transition process where time alone is required in order to flesh out best case standing alignment here.

Bonus Shares of Reflection for Today:

EQAFE - EVERY QUESTION ANSWERED FOR ALL OF EXISTENCE

https://eqafe.com/p/brandon-lee-part-1-life-review

https://eqafe.com/p/brandon-lee-part-2-life-review

https://eqafe.com/p/brandon-lee-part-3-life-review


To Be Continued



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Mike McDonald
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4 Base Contact Points - Feet and hands - To Assist Every Here Moment

Postby Mike McDonald » 28 Feb 2019, 17:28

DAY 810 - STANDING SUPPORT as 4 BASE CONTACT POINTS
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for not realizing and understanding the physicality of what it means to support myself in and as every here moment as the regards for my base 4 contact points in and as every here moment as my hands and my feet.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for not realizing, understanding and knowing that my hands and my feet are critical to the awareness of myself here as Life Itself.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for not realizing and understanding the grounding awareness effects of commiting myself to move within and as the standing base awareness from within and as the hands and the toes as a way to practically test myself in and as every here moment as what it means to be present in and as my physical body.

I realize my effectiveness in and as my moment to moment participation is profundly here beyond the limitiations of mind as i commit myself to live from and as my base 4 contact points within and as my physical body.

I realize there is such extroardinary room and space to play with the very getting to know myself in and as every here moment within the simple awareness of myself in and as my hands and my feet.

I realize, understand and know that utilizing the hands and the feet as baseline contact support in every here moment supports and expands the awareness of the rest of my body.

I realize my effectiveness in playing with my hands and my feet as a point of and as physical self-direction and commitment to living here as the physical - I am capable of more than i could have ever imagined.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for not realizing and understanding the gravity of and as my very arch support. Meaning that in heel of myself hear there is both the inside and outside arching of my feet here.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for having resisted to extensively investigate the extensive amount of pressure points in and asa the very reflexology of my human physical body that stems from and as the feet itself here.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for not realizing, nor really understanding the significance of the support within and as my hands and feet.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to not realize and understand that the awareness of my feet is not dependent upon whether or not i am wearing socks, sandals, shoes, and or are barefoot. I realize I am in fact always barefoot - as i am barefoot within and as my socks, shoes and sandals.

I commit myself to playing with my awareness and challenging the very play of my awareness within and as the physical.

I commit myself to making it simple to play with and as the awareness of my hands and feet in and as every here moment.

I commit myself to share support as what it means to really tune into the experience of ourselves in moving with awareness as both the hands and the feet here.

I commit myself to express the standing awareness of what it means to in fact regard my physical body.

I commit myself to continue to express my regards for injury as support in transcending through accepted and allowed suppression as the inner jury manifested an external injury when and as there's been an accumulation of blatant disregeard in and as my physical body.

I commit myself to supporting my peers with standing awareness in and as every here moment.

I commit myself to showcase how easy it is to simply commit to utilizing play as a fun and funny way to work with expanding within and as physical awareness/presense Here.

I commit myself to showcase the continued self-directive movement as what it means to in fact walk the destonian process here.


Please Take an Additional Moment to Utilize this Document in Combination with my Support Article:

http://desteni.org/desteni-material/blo ... -2-phase-9

Suggestion - Read Each atleast twice.

Added Note of Support - The Structural Resonance Documents by Veno are a great way to structure self in living Application when and as there's a specific physical point that is especially noticeable as needing Direct Support.

It is also generally a good idea to walk through the structual resonance documents as a point of opening up awareness into and as our physicality here - the point of practicality here will be in grounding the information within and as the very creation of our word play applications.


To Be Continued



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Mike McDonald
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Play As the Fight for Change Itself Here

Postby Mike McDonald » 03 Mar 2019, 18:50

I Forgive Myself for Accepting and Allowing Myself for not Realizing and Understanding that Play Itself May Be Experienced as a Sort of "Fight" In and As "The Moves" Through the Energetic 'Firewalls' of Self-Impossed Limitation/Suppression.


I Forgive Myself for Accepting and Allowing Myself for Not Realizing and Understanding that In Order to Crush My Resistance....My Suppression....My Very Suppression In Fact....I Require to In Fact Do Something - To Move - To Act - To Take a Stance - To Stand Up Within Myself - to Play/Fight in a Way as the Exercising Way of Self-Direction. This can also be Referred to as the "Inner-Ninja of Change Itself." I Realize, Understand and Know this is a Living Application - the Very Nature Being 'In-Tune Here' as 'Word Regards' and it's a Physical Movement - a Very Way to Break On Free from the Chains of Self-Imposed Non-Movement. #CrushingIT



I Forgive Myself for Accepting and Allowing Myself for Not Realizing and Understanding the Extensive Energetic Physical Addiction to the Experience of 'Boredom' as a Means to Keeping Me in a State of Lock Down where there's a sort of a General "Dol Drum" to my Everyday Living as like this burried point of "Self-Defeat" in a way - Burdened by the Knowledge I Have...Perpetuating the Very Suppressed Thinking that this is all there is - Not Realizing and or Understanding my "Explosive Nature" In and as the Moment of Movement as Life Burst from and as my Physicality Here.


I Forgive Myself for Accepting and Allowing Myself for Having Resisted to Be Honest with Myself About My in the Moment Experience of Myself. I Realize, Understand and Know the Consequence of Neglectng the Practicality of My in the Moment Word/World Regards and Specificity. I Realize the Absurd Ridiculousness of Chooosing to rather 'Hold Myself Together in a State of Physical Suppression' as my 'Default Normal Operating State' - Totally Fronting the Living Effectiveness of Myself Here - Not Realizing, Nor Understanding the Propensity to Accept and Allow Less of Myself Here. I Reaize, Understand and Know - How I am in Fact Able to Move as a Result of Understanding and Knowing "WHO" I am - In and as the Very Living Awareness of Myself Here- #worldclassplayer.


I Realize, Understand and Know - All Words are Alive Here - And it's a process of Word and World Regards Here - and that it's to Recognize, Understand and SPECIFICALLY Define the Very Moment to Moment Experience of Myself Here as this is #Critical to My Living Change from Moment to Moment as the very Constant and Consistency Here as Change Itself Made Manifest. #worldclassplayer


I Commit Myself to Explore What It Means to PLAY FIGHT My Way Through Any and All Firewalls I experience. I Realize there is Indeed a Humbleness and Humility in and as the Very Nature and Dichotomy of what it means to PLAY FIGHT.



A Practical Physical Example is TICKLING and How One Responds/Reacts - Another Example is Laughter - How One Shares in and as a Joke/Funny Moment - If there is Much Suppression and Firewalls - One will Simply Decline Participation as the very Suppressed Stance of Self in Fact Living a Resistance and Refusual to SHARE PLAY Itself Here.



A Practical Alone Physical Example of Play - is to Do something so Deliberately Out of Character - like for Instance to Yell Out Loud for No Apparent Reason - To Make Some Silly Sounds - To Get up from your desk and do 30 pushups right now - to Periodically throughout your day Decide to Flex Your Quads - to Perdiodically Throughout our day flex the Pecs - ...flex the feet pressure points - Play with physical pressure points - explore small movement pattens - there's so many movement patterns one can explore within and as the infinite moment of breath - the potential is indeed extraordinary - Suggest to Explore what is Possible within and as One Breath.



Also - Perhaps an Obvious - Yet Overlooked Example of Physical Play and Outpouring Self-Expression as the In the Moment Share of Who We Are - Freestyle-Self-Expression-Flow - as the very speaking in the moment beyond thinking- where it's a self-trust in and as our very self-movement here - the experience is extraordinary and the results are incredible as it's a way to exercise and account for our Balance in and as our Word/World Base Here - Because Our World and Living Effectiveness is In and as Word Play . So Dare to Communicate In the Moment without the Hesitation to Doubt Yourself and Lock Yourself Into a Self-Contained Box Of Shitty Nasty Suppression.



The Inner Ninja is a Real Experience I Highly Reccomend as it can also be described as Dope as Fuck and the Camaraderie of it is in Recognizing and Regarding that we have #worlclassplayer Here as All is Part of the Group and it's the expression as Word Play Itself here as #worldclassplayer. #onenessandequality

Pleasse Note that Creation in and of Itself is Very Fun and Funny and Creatively Collaborative and There's Room for Many Words of Regard to describe/depict the Very Dance of Life Itself Here.

#Abundance.


To Be Continued with, "Dope As Fuck"




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