Nightmares

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Raúl
Posts: 341
Joined: 09 May 2017, 02:22

Nightmares

Post by Raúl »

Hello, I'd like to share here something that is going on with me, it's about dreams, nightmares in particular, I know nothing about them.

This week I had 2 nightmares, and it would seem normal in my life to have them, but then I started thinking about it and since I am like, 5 years old I have been having nightmares. At first I thought, it's just nightmares, it's not like I have the same nightmare over and over and I have a trauma or something, and my ego said I have no traumas, please. Then I realized a simple truth, it's always the same kind of nightmare. I mean, my mind could create cool dreams for me, dreams where I am in a forest and there are a lot of trees and I feel so relaxed but instead this happens. The nightmare is the following, there is always something that makes me fear my survival and be emotional and scared about it. For example there is a zombie apocalypse, or a terrorist attack, or, I have a crazy mother inside my house with crazy face tring to hurt me, or suddenly the world becomes mad and in chaos, or I am escaping from an assasin and I have to run and hide, or the police is coming for me, or I am again addicted to drugs and I am depressed, or my fother is blaming me for things and I am so angry answering him I don't care! Fuck you!

The point is that it's always a nightmare that shakes my whole world, and it makes me emotional, and with intense fear. A fear that is like, very very real. I never get afraid, in darkness, horror movies, alwaking alone at night, I never care. But in my dreams, my nightmares, when the nightmare ends I weak up so afraid, I am so out of this world, i have to think again, oh, this is my reality? This is where I live? Feels safe, almost unreal.

So, I am waiting to have my own house in the months to come, and then sleep there and be very relaxed, so relaxed like I have never been in my life because I am finally alone and I depend on myself.

Is there anything cool you can tell me about nightmares? Does this mean that I carry this same fear in my life and I am not noticing? Is this normal?

I have also noticed that, when I was a child and I had this fear, I connected it to sexuality, because it made me feel safe in between all of that chaos, it was the opposite, like, going from uncertainty to certainty. Could that be? That the atraction I feel towards the opposite sex was mind created based on the fear I was feeling? Could it be that basically the 'sex' part of mind that I have created since a child that is already in my subconsciouss mind is in fact this same huge fear that doesn't support me at all?

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Leila
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Re: Nightmares

Post by Leila »

Hey Raul,

From my experience the nightmares and the fear that's experienced is a fear that I carry within me always, but as you say, is residing in a deeper dimension and basically 'fuels' many of your thoughts and actions. Where you may be stressed out, rushing - which carries a slight fear signature, which is coming from the deeper fear inside yourself, generally in relation to survival, fear of the unknown, fear of not being in control.

They tend to pop up for me specifically when I've been moving and acting in a way that is more laced with fear than usual, the nightmare then revealing this fear in its more 'raw' and 'true' form.

So here I would look at the smaller actions, decisions, thoughts you have in your day to day that are tainted with fear or concern survival in any way and see what comes up for you. Use your nightmares and dreams as a cross reference for how you are moving through your fears.

In terms of the specifics that play out in your dream, like a terrorist attack, do Self Forgiveness about fearing a terrorist attack, then ask yourself : what is it specifcally I am fearing about a terrorist attack? There you will start noticing that it's more certain concepts you fear such as 'not knowing when something is going to happen, lack of control, fear of pain, ..' Look at what comes up and see how in your current life situation you fear the same points. Eg not knowing when you are going to have money again, fear of not being in control of certain situations and so on.

Marlen
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Re: Nightmares

Post by Marlen »

Raúl wrote: 13 Apr 2018, 19:10
I have also noticed that, when I was a child and I had this fear, I connected it to sexuality, because it made me feel safe in between all of that chaos, it was the opposite, like, going from uncertainty to certainty. Could that be? That the atraction I feel towards the opposite sex was mind created based on the fear I was feeling? Could it be that basically the 'sex' part of mind that I have created since a child that is already in my subconsciouss mind is in fact this same huge fear that doesn't support me at all?
Hey Raúl,

Another consideration is how whatever you experience within yourself - in waking life or dreaming - is a part of you, so how I approach dreams is that if any emotional experience comes up very clearly in one, then it means it's me, I created it so I can look at it and take responsibility to understand it through self-forgiveness.

Therefore, on what you mentioned above, it seems that this is how you've connected the experiences or associated the information, therefore beyond it being right or not, you can now use this information about your associations to write self forgiveness on it, where fear is connected to sex and so forth. This is to clear yourself up from these associations, and then to take the next step which is to redefine sexual expression, to redefine being 'safe' or secure within you, what would it mean to be certain of yourself without the energy charges or mind patterns associated with it?
You're already giving yourself the answer in your questions, so it's a matter of simply working to self forgive the information and redefine the words in it.

Raúl
Posts: 341
Joined: 09 May 2017, 02:22

Re: Nightmares

Post by Raúl »

Thank you very much :) working on doing self-forgiveness about the specific fears, and for fears itselves. And on taking responsability for my real participation on these dreams.
It's definetly connected to the fear and uncertainty I live.

Raúl
Posts: 341
Joined: 09 May 2017, 02:22

Re: Nightmares

Post by Raúl »

Today I had another nightmare. The previous day was, basically the best day of my life, everything was going great, even my mistames were great, I was so empty relaxed and confident.

And then tonight I over slept, this sometimes happens to me, I rest more than I should and I get up too late and being tired. My patterns were all very relaxed the day before, so I don't know the why of the nightmare, I believe it is that I simply decide to stop breathing correctly, and in my lack of oxygen I start having fear to the point where I am destroyed inn everything that I am, it may sound silly but it kind of like that. All I can do is apply self-forgiveness about the specific of the dreams, but I'd say the dream was about the fear, not about the specifics, but the fear brings the specifics anyway.

In the nightmare everything that I could possibly imagine going wrong does. My fother came to ocuppy my house by force and he would become crazy with multiple personallity and then he would lock me inside the house where I could not escape, I had no money, my phone didn't called the police properly, he tried to murder me and poison me, and in the end I didn't know if he was my fother or my mother. Basically all that I still fear in my life was there. For example when I thought about the police coming, I imagined that my fother could kust pretend to be normal and say to them what they want to hear, and then it would be up to me to prove that is a crazy murderer and I would have anxiety, so I would achieve anything anyway.

So, I'll start by releasing the specifics through facing my fears and self-forgiveness, and checking my breathing issues. I just hope this is a healthy of releasing energy lol it doesn't seem so.

Your messages with the last nightmare were very usefull, thanks! I'll use them

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Leila
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Re: Nightmares

Post by Leila »

Hey Raul,

What I am getting from this is that your mind in a way challenged you and your self-definition based on 'One Great Day' - where you within yourself may have been very chuffed and satisfied with how things went for this 'one day', and you gave yourself a little reminder through the form of a nightmare to not get complacent and assume that you're all 'over and done with' - showing to you that you do still have your share of points to work with.

Raúl
Posts: 341
Joined: 09 May 2017, 02:22

Re: Nightmares

Post by Raúl »

That is what I feel, thanks

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