Bernard's Passing Away

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Manuela J
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Re: Bernard's Passing Away

Post by Manuela J »

Nothing has changed, everything has changed – a personal tribute to Bernard Poolman

It still seems unreal to me, when just weeks ago I was talking to Bernard Poolman at the farm where I was visiting for three weeks – and now Bernard is dead. He passed away on August 11th from the impact of a heart attack. I remember it was dark already, an early winter evening in South Africa, when I first met him in person, as he had just returned from a city trip dealing with some legal administration. He stepped onto the veranda and called my name making long rolling sounds with this mischievous twinkle in his eyes that I was to see more than once throughout my stay. It was as if he was saying to me “and so it is, we meet again”, but of course, this is just my interpretation. Bernard was like a mirror to each of us, he reflected our own perceptions back to us, and he understood very well what was happening inside of us in that moment, so that he tailored his words as a point of support, to help us see what we were doing to ourselves, the things we wanted to see in the world that weren’t there. Interactions with Bernard were a real-time opportunity for self-change.

He then proceeded to give me a hug and we sat down at the table and started talking. There were moments were he was visibly in pain because of the work that he had taken on using his physical body. He was preparing our world for a rebirth into equality and oneness but how many of us have an understanding of what that means on a physical level? Bernard did not care much about the pain, for him this was the byproduct of an extraordinary task that had to be done to sort out this world – a world that is in reverse.

A world in reverse starts with our pursuit for pleasure, for well-being, for fitness, beauty, comfort, and health. Bernard showed us by example of his life the difference between existing as a picture and existing as life. Becoming life is to stop catering to the picture, it is a process that requires us to step out from behind the smoke screen and become the real thing – passed the pain, passed the resistances – a self-willed entity, and to see the web of relations we have created within every aspect of this world. ‘Fractalising’ our existence, ourselves, and every living thing on planet earth into an endless array of divisions, restrictions, and segmentations. This is what we do as a default, we are ”naturals” at this and call it “human nature”, we submit ourselves to our minds and we don’t stop ourselves from getting sucked up. With each ‘mind sucker’ a new concepts is created that enhances the divisions, restrictions, and segmentations. Fractals are infinite repetitions that create our world over, look at the branches of the tree or the tiny veins in your hand. We have copied these cycles of repetition only we allow ourselves to default into the separation instead of coalescing the world into equality, where the principle of equality repeats in all aspects of worldly affairs and LIFE succeeds SURVIVAL. Once and for all.

Piecing ourselves back together is accepting that the world must be straightened out without concessions. We must move from negligence and convenience to absolute and unlimited caring for the place called earth. First, however, we must understand how we, each for themselves, have actually reached our current point. Bernard was there to facilitate this understanding because he had taken a machete to the thickest of mind and emotions and cut himself loose – all by himself.

After this initial meeting, I spent whatever time was available visiting Bernard in the main room. Unlike any other stranger I have met before, there was this instant connection, a clear link of communication between us – it was so clear that there was no room for anything else, awkwardness, anxiety, insecurity or any other emotion that typically interferes with our communication signals. Bernard’s uncompromising stance was available to me in every moment of interaction, to centre myself within it. I saw the potential of communication, not in a SciFi “beam me up Scotty” kind of way – this was not about transmitting thoughts, or having a perfect understanding of what was being said between us. Rather a point of communication where I actually got to see myself, where the veil comes off, and where I see what lies behind the words I use, the way I use them, and how I have applied myself over the years in the same mind tracks, like a train forging groves on wheels of words in which I move myself along – struggling, stumbling – a layer so impervious to myself where only glimpses reach my awareness after an intense session of self-forgiveness. Through my conversations with Bernard I realised the true level of carelessness I bring to the world, practically, in every word I speak.

Whenever I entered the room and saw Bernard’s head peek out from behind the computer, he was approachable in the same way, today, as the day before, as tomorrow. There was never a shift or a change and within him that I experienced and because of his absolute stability, our conversations where always only about me. Bernard was self-complete. Let me clarify, selflessness is a “program”, it is what it says: a missing self. It feeds our urge to exist in the denial about who we really are by filling ourselves up with others, with tasks, objects, and services that are apparently needed in the world – selflessness is another escape mechanism. I say ‘apparent needs’, because unlike self-completeness, selflessness cannot respond to what is really needed which is what is best for all in each situation, in each moment, because the person is preoccupied by the reasons he/she wants to escape from. Because Bernard is complete as a self – as is – he was able to respond to what I needed to see and hear at the time. He no longer operated from desire, preference or judgement, the fluctuating emotions that move us like a puppet on a string and that make us blind to our acceptances and allowances in the world, so that we create a world dominated by suffering. Because Bernard is self-complete (and he still is even when he is no longer in physical form) he could utilise his ‘self’ as a tool for support – for social engineering – one person at the time, to bring about a world that is best for all, beyond his own physical existence.

In Bernard’s presence I experienced myself like a child again. I am talking about a specific aspect of being a child, the innocence that children bring to the world, an unspoiled receptiveness that has not been caught up in all kinds of filters, the ulterior motives we usually place in front of ourselves when we come to speak with others, in how we attempt to protect our vulnerability. I was free of this pre-programmed prompter that supports my survival and I could relax into a part of me that was once my starting point to grasping the world around me. Only now I was grasping myself. Bernard’s self-complete being created an unflinching point of reference in which I could expand my awareness. A reversal of what we usually experience when interacting with others where we suppress and limit ourselves.

Answering my questions was only a part of our communication, he volunteered much of what he saw about me, even when he had to scream it into my ears. He could never scare me though, not for a moment I perceived his expressive way of talking, loud voice and beastly face, as scary. I realised what I had originally considered as scary in my online communications with him, when I first joined the group, was the purity and stableness of his interactions that cut through all the pretences. The fact was that Bernard, the man who died on August 11th, lived entirely without fear. We never encounter a being that does not exist on and in fear – with Bernard fear as a basis to each breath had become life at the basis of each breath. This cannot be easily grasped by the mind because there is no entry point to attach one’s programs – his words, his movements, his actions are not marked by fear, and the mind is at a loss for parity in pre-progammed settings that simply are not there. This can threaten the mind if we allow it. The main points that Bernard told me about myself where wrapped up in questions inside of me, dinosaur questions, that I had actively pursued years ago. I had all the pieces to the puzzle but I was unable to put them together in the way that they would make sense to me and give me direction. Bernard resurrected these questions and put the puzzle pieces for me in order so that I could leave the farm with more of myself than when I came.

My encounter with Bernard has given my self-realisation process detailed direction, it has sharpened my focus. What I have seen and realised about myself cannot be undone. It has changed everything for me because the more we see about who we are and what we have created, the greater the stakes of responsibility to give everything all of the time, 100% of a no-return investment. Bernard’s death can only be understood from that perspective, he gave everything all of the time and each moment of giving he was aware of the no-return policy – he even told us so many times.

There is an uncanny parallel between Bernard and Jesus, which we can revisit 2000 years from now. It’s not the obvious one that both men lived the principles of equality and that both men gave up their lives as the living principle of responsibility. It’s the parallel that emphasises US – those who have committed themselves to equality as the principle of life. Jesus’s death brought no merit to this world, his words were distorted and his principles misinterpreted, 2000 years later we have a world of abuse, poverty, corruption and war. What the world will be in 4013 is entirely up to us. Jesus and Bernard opened the doors to a new world order using everything available to them, and once again we are left with an opportunity to step out from our pre-programmed designs and become living beings.

I cannot deny that I will miss the man, and that tears cannot do justice of the profound loss we have all witnessed these past few days. As Cerise said, the world is poorer for it, now that Bernard no longer walks the earth. It is however, not a question, that we will continue walking our process. Hearing of his death, much of the shock we experienced are the voices of selfishness - entitlement to convenience in our processes - regardless of what Bernard has done for all of us, how much he suffered through the physical pain, we insist on him being here for us, so that we can fall back on our crutches. I speak for myself here and all those who have relied on getting Bernard’s perspective, his encouragement, living vicariously through his commitment. As a group, it’s the moment of realisation that we are always alone in making the decision to stay here breathing and nail our awareness to the ground, or to drift into the illusion of the mind. In that sense, nothing has changed, though everything changes from now on – we walk for real. The time has come.

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Re: Bernard's Passing Away

Post by Michelle »

Day 140: Bernard Poolman
http://michellesjourneytolife.blogspot. ... olman.html

Bernard Poolman passed away in the early hours of Sunday morning, 11 August 2013 (SA time). His heart stopped beating. From Creations Journey to Life: My Dad, the Devil

When I read the news that Bernard Poolman passed away I was shocked. I looked over at my partner and just couldn’t believe what I read. Bernard…dead?

At times I feared the man, but it was more like, feared what he would say because I knew that I could find something out about myself that I didn’t want to see or admit. He knew exactly what to say to get people to wake up, and for that, I am grateful. Without him and what he has done through the support he has provided for people through writings, interviews and online chats, the Desteni group wouldn’t be as strong as it is now with the focus and drive to bring a world Best for All.

It wasn’t until his death and reading personal stories from those who physically met him that I saw Bernard in a totally different way than what I perceived him to be. That is another indication to me that my mind cannot be trusted because I had formed ideas about him and it’s really useless to do so because only through physically meeting a person is the truth revealed. Now I am reading his writings and listening to his videos from a different perspective. I see that I had come to depend on Bernard and his support for my process where I had not been standing firmly on my feet and walking this process self-honestly. From this, I realize I have work to do to re-establish who I am, my starting point and the process I am walking.

I am grateful that I was able to interact with him through online chats. I had a few personal interactions with him online when I needed specific support. For example, I needed assistance on a child I was working with at a school who had major behavioral issues that was affecting his time in the classroom. I asked Bernard if he had any support on how to work with a child like that and he explained exactly why the child was acting the way he did and the problem came down to vocabulary and reading. Bernard said that a way to assist the child is working with a certain computer software program. I knew of this software beforehand and how costly it was, but Bernard offered me the software free with additional support from him and his contacts. I couldn’t believe it that he gave me something like that for free for me and the child, and as I worked with the child on the software, the child's behavior and reading level improved within the next 5 months.

Bernard also assisted and supported me to see the disharmony and conflict I was experiencing in the beginning of my relationship with my partner because of what I was accepting and allowing.

Michelle: I realized from my (previous) chat with Sunette I was judging (me and my partner’s) enjoyment, and becoming more quiet within my conversation with him
Bernard: "So, what have you Learned? The Power of Judgment can Change a Person? And Limit your Expression?"
Michelle: Yeah - it was not cool - I was listening to my backchat and thinking that I'm talking to him too much.
In another chat I said to Sunette that the relationship with my partner is like “bumps in the road” and Bernard came through:
Bernard: "I Love bumps in the road...Bumps give one Feedback, that backchat can be Real - that's Why bumps is something that one must remove from the backchat. Or, it could turn into Zits - little yellow mountains on your Lovely."

He knew just what to say to get me to see what I was doing so I could correct myself in the relationship, and as for the zit part -- what do you know, about three days after the chat I popped a nasty yellow pus-filled zit on my back, lol.

Bernard understood the mind in exact detail, understood the world system and had a solution for each problem. From that he was able to understand all kinds of people from all walks of life. I have read chats where he gave support to people on everything from erectile dysfunction to effective parenting, providing thorough explanations and points for people to look at and understand.

Looking at all this, Bernard became who he was because he actually LIVED the principles of Equality and Oneness through walking a process of writing, self-honesty, self-forgiveness and self-corrective application. This is the same process that we at Desteni are currently walking, to become that which Bernard stood as – a being of Life – no mind/energy/consciousness influence, but of absolute self-directive principle within Equality and Oneness. He himself proved that anyone can walk this process, because he did it himself and continued to stand as an example of what is possible. Bernard applied and lived the principles of Jesus in practical reality; the principles being: Give as you would like to receive, Do unto another that which you would like to be done unto you, and Investigate all things and keep that which is good.

I wish I could have physically met him, but in a way, Bernard is still here – his interviews, words and writings are still here – and it now up to me and everyone as humanity to walk this process until we have a world Best for All. I miss him, but I also realize it’s necessary to move on, and do what needs to be done.

"So if you Respect, Love, Appreciate and are Grateful to Bernard, to his Existence and the work that he left in this world - commit yourself to live by his words, as I commit myself to live by the example that he was for all of us Here." ~ Marlen Vargas Del Razo

"Many beings will be sad because Bernard has died – but his death is not about keeping a legacy alive, hell no – we’re not going to ‘honor his memory’. He would have said: “fuck that.” lol – Honoring Bernard is honoring ourselves as life – Honoring Bernard is sharing the Living Word as it has been shared with us and to stand in every moment of Breath here walking the process of establishing a world that is best for all. I will miss Bernard tremendously and I am eternally grateful to have met him. But even for those who haven’t met Bernard in person – it is not a loss. Because Bernard was never about the personal. He said: “You must become me as I am you, so that we can trust each other no matter where we are, no matter who we are.”" - Anna Brix Thomsen

"Bernard had no judgment toward anyone or anything, because he realized that that is the key to us ever changing – is for us to Forgive. Forgive each other, Forgive ourselves, and MOVE ON. To let go of everything and start anew, because it's the only way we can get out of these same patterns that we've been living as for practically as long as we've existed. We have to forgive ourselves of the patterns we've existed as, so that we can become something else, so that we can Forge ourselves as beings that Care for Ourselves and Care for Each Other, and never again allow such Extreme Abuse to take place as we have allowed thus far." - Kelly Posey

"For those that are walking process, as I have mentioned, have been walking it for themselves, the MY-SELF – the realisation that: the process to Life each one has to walk, is INDIVIDUALLY. Thus, the process is the same, but the point that one will stand, HOW one will express as the Principle, Direct as the Principle - will be different for each one and can only be discovered through one’s self-honesty within and as the starting-point Principle and the walking of the Tools. So, remember – the process is to self realise through/as YOUR-SELF, not BERNARD-SELF. I mean, if in the dictionary it was referenced as BERNARD-SELF, then yeah lol – it would be to “become Bernard”…but it’s not. Bernard self-realised HIM-SELF, so you have to self-realise YOUR-SELF. And this “him/her” and “your” SELF – the SELF-point is where we’re standing within the principle of equality and oneness as life as what is best for all. It is the journey to life of the SELF – of myself as Sunette, of yourself as you. How we’re going to be/stand/direct – you cannot “know”, cause it’s NOT a knowledge point, you can only discover is through actually LIVING the principle and this is/will be a process from Consciousness to Awareness, from System to Life – the birthing of self as life in/as the Physical.
Have a look – it’s myself, yourself, him/her-self – the SELF point is the equal point, is the oneness point. So, this is the point that has to stand in the principle of/as equality and oneness as what is best for all, and then the “my / your / him/her” is the point where each one will be ‘individual’ in terms of how you will stand/express/direct as life. Bernard had walked his point, now it’s time to find/realise/live your point – and we will all find/realise that point through how he found/realised his point, which is through the Tools Desteni Provides." - Sunette Spies of Heaven's Journey to Life

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Re: Bernard's Passing Away

Post by KellyPosey »

Day 201: Bernard Poolman - A Being Who Lived Fully in the Service of Life to His Last Breath
http://humanitysjourneytolife.blogspot. ... fully.html

Bernard Poolman has passed away, and the world has lost a Voice like it has never had. A Voice that spoke literally for All of Life, within the principle of Equality, within realizing that All Life is in fact Equal, that we're all made of the same substance, the same particles, and all the judgment and separation that we exist as toward each other, toward ourselves, toward any part of Existence, is in fact Bullshit.

None of the separation and judgment that we live as, that we participate in on a daily basis is in any way whatsoever, making this world a Better Place. It is what is making this world to be full of Abuse and Suffering, and which would lead to our Ultimate End eventually and inevitably, if we don't Change Ourselves.

Bernard stood as the example of what a human being could become when we really Live, when we are no longer a Slave to our Mind, to all the Brainwashing we have been inundated with from the moment we came into this world, with all the reasons and justifications as to why things apparently are the way they are and why it apparently it can't change, why we as humans apparently can't change, why you as an individual apparently can't change, why we must apparently accept everything exactly the way it is, even if it is leading to our own destruction bit by bit, with already billions suffering, and it's increasing.

I would not even be where I am today, in my own process of self change, if it was not for this example, for the support given, for the multitude of perspectives shared, which came from Bernard's own process of self change, of self expansion, of accepting no less from himself that to become a Being that actually stands for Life, that actually places the interest of All Life as the Most Important priority, I mean, it's who we really should have been/become – Beings that care for All of Existence as Ourself – because, it is ourself.

If you have a look at what we as humans have become, we have accepted limitation in practically every way possible. The most unlimited forms on this planet, and yet apparently we are too limited to be able to function effectively on and with this planet and it's ecosystem, which is our ecosystem, our system of life support, without which we cannot live, apparently we're too limited to make sure that every human being has what they need to live effectively, apparently we're too limited to be able to be able to change the world in any significant way, even though we are the ones creating it.

Bernard saw this, and as he would not accept limitation from himself, so he wouldn't accept it from anyone. He would not participate in or support anyone's excuses and justifications, on an individual level and from humanity as a whole. To do this, you have to actually have identified all limitations and justifications, you have to have put in the time and effort to have walked your own process to self realization in understanding exactly in detail how it is we limit ourselves so extensively, within limitations that aren't real, but are just beliefs existing only in our mind.

I never met a human being who had so absolutely stood within the commitment to in all ways consider what is best for life. Where, within humanity we for the most part judge and separate ourselves from each other, Bernard had no judgment toward anyone or anything, because he realized that that is the key to us ever changing – is for us to Forgive. Forgive each other, Forgive ourselves, and MOVE ON. To let go of everything and start anew, because it's the only way we can get out of these same patterns that we've been living as for practically as long as we've existed. We have to forgive ourselves of the patterns we've existed as, so that we can become something else, so that we can Forge ourselves as beings that Care for Ourselves and Care for Each Other, and never again allow such Extreme Abuse to take place as we have allowed thus far.

Never before have I experienced such a loss of someone who had Real Value, who had a Real Impact in reality, where the Whole World is worse off for not having them around. But what does that say about us? Why is it that we are not All beings of such Worth that each one of us would be Irreplaceable? Why is it that so far there was only one Human being who Lived so Fully in the Service of Life?

What I've realized is that because Bernard had Lived to the Extreme – he actually transcended Death – because he Gave All of himself to Life, and so he Is Here even beyond his Death, his Impact Remains. Life has forever been changed, the process has been set in motion for us all to finally stand up to become what we are truly capable of. We've got the example that we were waiting for, the example of standing up No Matter What, no matter if you are Standing Alone, because what else is there to do? Continue to accept the way things are? Continue to accept less and less from ourselves until we diminish into unimaginable levels of suffering and degradation?

Bernard's death has shown us that you really Do Not Know when you will take your Final Breath here – so it's up to You to live Fully in Every Moment, to make the most of the Time we have, so we can sort ourselves out, sort this reality out, and become Beings of Respect for Life, Beings of Integrity, Honor, Real Caring, so we can Create Life here as it should be, where we Expand and develop ourselves, where we actually Evolve, where Life is not Struggle and Hardship and Suffering, because it Does Not have to be. We are not actually Slaves and it's time we stand up and Value Life, by Valuing Ourselves, and accepting no less than the Best We Can Be.

What Are You Waiting For?

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Re: Bernard's Passing Away

Post by joe kou »

Day 4 and 5- The Death of Bernard Poolman

Death of Bernard Poolman : Part One

It is interesting - because when I consider the point of Bernard having passed away - I do not now experience a point of having lost something or any point of "hopelessness". Bernard was not a "leader" and he would be the first to remind us all of that. Bernard was not interested in telling people what to do or how to do it because he was in any way superior or in charge. Bernard stood within a point of absolute responsibility and challenged everyone to question everything, and to develop within ourselves the ability to establish a point of self-honesty - a point of self integrity that would allow one to take on and challenge everything that we have assumed and taken for granted within existence without fear or self-interest.

Bernard Poolman stood as a point of absolute dedication. He stood as a point of realizing that there is a problem within existence and that we must realize our individual and collective responsibility within it - and in this he accepting NOTHING less than what was best for all life, as a matter of principle. This meant that ego, self-interest, and any form of manipulation or acceptance of ANYTHING that was less than what was absolutely best for ALL LIFE was not acceptable - and to this end Bernard spoke with a cutting clarity that was absolutely impossible to ignore because he spoke directly and into the core of the individual with a authority and bluntness that would forever leave a mark upon the listener - he would call into question your assumptions, your ideas, your beliefs, and everything that you have ever accepted of yourself and defined yourself by, and he would CHALLENGE all of those things within you to ensure that you were in every way possible taking into consideration what is best for all, and whether or not your assumptions, your opinions, your ideas about yourself, your ego were actually leading to a better life for all equally, or whether it was only serving your own self-interest or irrational fears that keep you from living your fullest potential, and would not accept anything less than what was best for all even if it meant he had to become the expression of your greatest fear for a moment so that you could face yourself.

Bernard Poolman was a beacon of self-honesty and an example of absolute commitment within not allowing or accepting any more the fears and self-interest and paranoia that we have accepted as "existence" and he showed us often by pushing and activating within us the very points we want to hide and keep secret. Bernard became a lightning rod of hate for those unwilling to question their own reactions and would allow their own assumptions and opinions and automated responses dictate how they would see Bernard, and in turn how they would see reality and life itself - while at the same time Bernard was a pillar of strength that showed unwaveringly what it meant to stand within a point of self-honesty and integrity completely - even when it seems as though the entire world is against you because of what you stand for and how you "make" them feel.

Death of Bernard Poolman : Part Two

In all of the conversations that I have had with Bernard over the years, and in all of the writings that he had placed in blogs and forums and emails - his words would always be absolutely specific, and there was NEVER a single moment in all of years that I had known Bernard, where he EVER had a "bad day" or ever spoke from a point of ego or emotional reaction. There was NEVER an instance where I had to stop and wonder if his words could be trusted or if he was speaking emotionally or reactively and thus I should take his words with a grain of salt. Even looking back at conversations that I had with him from years before, his word remain as consistent, direct, specific, and supportive now as they had been then. This was a being who dedicated himself fully and showed this dedication physically, consistently, without fail - it was a principle that was LIVED, and the living of that principle is what Bernard shared - which is why his words, his clarity, remains with me now and will remain with me into eternity - because it was never about ego, never about Bernard having special wisdom - it was a principle lived absolutely, which came through in all that he did and spoke and wrote.

To me, Bernard and all that he stood for and all that I have come to know him as - has not "left" - and has in no way diminished. In fact I would say that the principles he shared and lived as an absolute example of, are even more bolstered now by the fact that he has passed away and in no way because even though the man speaking those words has gone – the principle and the purpose within those words remain utterly specific – which shows me that those words in fact were not about Bernard as a “person” – was never about his ego or his opinion – they were statements of a principle that is universal and has certainly changed the lives of those who have had the opportunity to hear him – and are a lasting legacy for those who have not yet heard the message.

Bernard gave all of himself in each and every breath he took and each and every word he spoke or wrote and ensured that at no time can his words be less than what is best for all - that now even though he has died, his words and his principles - his very insistence that we accept nothing less than what is best for all life - remains with me and will forever remain a part of my foundation, as "who I am" - and though I am very much still walking my own process of change in my own life, I say without hesitation that Bernard was a man of his word, and his words were LIFE because those words stay with me now even after his death.

Bernard left us with the tools and the details of how he walked his process of self-change and taking absolute responsibility – and more importantly he left us with his living example – which now falls upon us to live to the best of our ability. Bernard accepted nothing less than what was absolutely best within all life and dared us to let go of our petty differences, our egos, and our absurd ideas and beliefs that keep us separated from ourselves, from each other, and from the very existence we all commonly find ourselves in. With humor, wit, bluntness, and at times the force of a hurricane and a perfect blend of gentle compassion and brutal directness Bernard stood for and AS life itself individualized into the expression of a single man who dared to live so completely that anything less than life would be challenged by his very presence.

That is the gift that Bernard gave me – and gave to all – unconditionally. That is the gift that I commit myself to give back by continuing to walk my process, to learn from my mistakes, to learn what actual self-forgiveness is, and dare to change and even through my worst moments – those darkest points when it seems all is lost and I simply cannot go on – even after giving up on myself so many times – I continue, I walk, I breathe, I fall, I stand, I learn, I change, and I keep going – because that is the commitment and dedication that Bernard represented – that I must now represent for myself – and in this way I may give back as unconditionally as Bernard had given not only me, but everyone.

I commit myself to keep walking - through the pains of my mistakes, through the illusions of failure and regret, past the experiences of "inadequacy" and comparison that I have allowed myself to define myself as, and to honor that which was shown and given to me with the same patience, dedication, and gentle brutality that was shown to me by not only Bernard but the many beings who have been part of this Journey to Life - becoming that very expression for/as myself as an act of self change and self-responsibility because that is what is best for all - that is the example that was unconditionally shown to me - and that is the example I undertake to be.

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Re: Bernard's Passing Away

Post by Maya »

Anna wrote:
the stability I experienced when Bernard was around is the stability I can stand as, for and as myself - it is what I can become through an accumulation of moment by moment where I direct and support myself to face that which I have separated myself from, correct, align, change - which is actually what Bernard always said: 1+1+1+1 moment by moment by moment by moment, till I stand.
Very cool realization Maya. For me, what I found reflected in Bernard (meaning as a personal point I reflected onto him) was a point of Absolute Self-Honesty - the point of Brutal Self-Honesty. So it is cool to re-look at this point with this perspective that you've shared here. Because I didn't consider how I had it with/as me all along. And when Bernard died, this was a question that I asked within myself: Who is now going to be brutally honest -- and the only answer there is, is: we are, I will, through walking the process of establishing brutal self-honesty, one self-directed breath at a time.

Thanks for sharing.
Awesome Anna!

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Re: Bernard's Passing Away

Post by larrymanuela »

Day 257, Bernard Poolman, the greatest world teacher EVER, yet just a few noticed.

Now i am going to share with you, the reader what this man; Bernard Poolman meant to me and how he has EFFECTED my life so i can start taking my Self-responsibility as it should be.

I was called by Ingrid and she asked me if i have read the email about Bernard, and i said no, because when she called me i was sleeping and i woke up and went immediately to check my email to see what she was talking about, and as i read the first sentence;" We are here to inform you that Bernard has passed away in the early hours of Sunday 11th of August.'' This sentence alone hit very hard, i was totally shocked and i said: '' WHAT!!! '' and then followed that up with: '' SHIT!! ''

And after all these swearing, a deep sadness came over me, like a part of me is gone so to speak, and then i became angry at SYSTEMS, just systems, all systems, i start blaming systems, all systems, existential systems, and the systems we have in this world as in how we conduct/manage our living together here in this world.

So before i continue let me forgive myself for having this anger within me in relation to Bernard's passing away.

Self-Forgiveness statements:

I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to have the backchat in me in the form as the word: ''what,'' to in that moment to represent my own disbelief about the news that Bernard have passed away, thus like wanting my disbelief to be true, without seeing/realizing/understanding in that moment that the disbelief itself is also a belief and is my own making that has nothing to with reality, which also in this moment of writing this statement is another clear PROOF how belief can fuck one up, because my disbelief as my belief in that moment was proven to be NOT true as i manifested it in my mind.

I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to have the backchat in me in the form as the word: '' Shit,'' to in that moment to represent my own fear as in: '' what the fuck am i going to do now,'' which is a point of self-interest, because in Bernard through his words i was looking for stability and empowerment without seeing/realizing/understanding that i was not giving that to myself.

I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to be very angry at all what i in a moment saw as systems and that i hate systems, without seeing realizing that I AM a system, i have accepted and allowed myself to be/become a system and by being angry and hating them is in reality hating that which i have accepted and allowed myself to be/become.

I forgive msyelf that i have accepted and allowed myself to think/belief that by being angry and hating systems is somehow going to change something within me as me trying to ease away the real pain as in the sadness that came over me with the news of Bernard passing away, thus in this transforming it as----------- in running away from the sadness instead of standing within and as the sadness completely and embrace myself as it and get it over with as making me totally the sadness that i manifested within and as me.

I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to not see/realize/understand in the moment of being angry and hateful to whatever that is outside and inside of me as systems is nothing but what i myself has accepted and allowed myself to be and become within and without.

Therefore i commit myself to stand within and as myself within and as my process i need to walk in order to be/become the principle Bernard walked and lived equal and one as the whom i am as an individual and doing this within/as the group of desteni.

I commit myself to use the tools provided by desteni as what Bernard himself used in his own process to be and become the whom he was and is as the principle of oneness and equality as what is BEST for ALL LIFE.

I commit myself to embrace myself as the systems i have become so i can understand myself as these systems and then bring all of what i have become to the HERE point, so i can free myself of what i have become that is NOT what is BEST for all LIFE.

I commit myself to remind myself to always when i see that i am going to or about to go into becoming angry and hateful to immediately STOP myself within and as breath and do NOT allow myself to participate into emotions and stick and be within and as my breath right HERE, as the point of stability as the point of actual standing within/as my human physical body/form.

I commit myself to workout deligently on myself with myself with the tools i have been given by Bernard and that he have lived himself in absolute detail never waivering an inch, so i can be/become a +1 in the equation where eventually will be where all the one's (1) put together live the same principle till it is done.

I commmit myself to give myself patience and to not forget that the process is a process and it will take time, so patience is critical and also practical and make sure i stick to my breathing as the point of stability wherein i can trust myself as the breath within and as my human physical body/form equal and one.


So in the beginning of hearing Bernard speaking with his roaring voice as a lion, i was not afraid of the way he spoke. I heard within his way of speaking as a directness and a certainty and as he change from sound with his voice in the voice i hear humbleness and actual real care in every word even when he was swearing.

In the beginning if i was to let other people that are not part of the desteni group hear some awesome interview where he was speaking, the voice was the first thing most of the people will react to and find it scarry or whatever, and this i could not understand, because to me i was hearing what he was saying, the voice is just like a carrier, a way of effecting the words, so they can touch the core of our being.

What i was fearful of was really to meet Bernard, because i was aware that he could see all the shit in me i had as secrets in my mind where no-one else can see and only i know is there. Now that i am writing this, i can see now within me why it was i was postponing so much, it is because of this one point, to have to face myself if i ever got the be in the presence of Bernard, thus this means that i was fearing my own fear of facing myself and then use Bernard as a projection of my own fear so i can continue fearing myself and thus not move and change for real deeply.


Therefore, I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to fear Bernard for what i was aware he could do, thus seeing within the dephts of my mind as what lies within it, what i am hiding, thus in this case fearing my own fear and making sure that i keep being in this fear.

I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to not see/realize/understand that ''hiding something,'' is being dishonest within and as myself, like harnessing energy for myself within myself as to keep myself as the energy as the mind consciousness system to continue being the whom i am within and as this world.

I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to let myself down and engage in unnecessary fear of my own creation, just in order to NOT stand within and as myself to be/become the living principle of oneness and equality, that which is BEST for all LIFE.

Hereby i commit myself to bring myself to the point where i am aware within me that i loose something within me and in that point i then stand within and as my breath forgiving myself and standing so i can take this fear of myself having to stand away and delete it.

I commit myself to write out in detail all that is within me so i can see the whom i am as my mind consciousness system, as what i accept and allow within me and as what i will not accept and allow to be within and as me and direct myself to bring it to the HERE point and change myself.

I commit myself to stop hiding within and as myself and just open myself up patiently till all that is as me as what i have accepted and allowed myself to be/become is on paper in the written word, through my Self-forgiveness and my commitments to then have a view of what i am doing in order to STOP myself in the critical moments and stand in the stopping as in NOT letting myself participate within the fear that will want to rise up and to digg deep till i find its root within and as me using the tools as they are presented at desteni.

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- --

as you can see by now as what i have written here, that i did not meet him in the flesh when he was here in the flesh as the flesh, even though there was this willingness within me to wanting to meet him and get it over with in a sense deep within me, like wanting it to go really really bad as in the point of no return and face it all in that point and get it over with and for this one more time i project it as Bernard being able to support me in that particular point as in pushing the buttons that i should be pushing myself, because i can see them within and as me, but yet fail deliberately to not push myself to get to that point of no way out BUT to face myself in my own darkest hours.

Now with Bernard's passing away i have also within me see/realize/understand more clearly then ever what it is i need to do and to actually do it as an individual and also within and as a group as desteni.

There is not one interview that is shared where Bernard spoke that i have not listen to, because i was listening to all of them, i always looked for support through his words and all that he has written that were shared i read them all, because they are simple and yet direct written as in a form of cutting right through any bullshit that i may have in a moment. So but you see; this was supportive but yet i took it the wrong way, in the sense that i wasn't really integrating it, as in living what he was sharing, it was like a moment thing just to feel better about myself for a particular point i was busy with.

Now that he has passed away, i have seen/realized/understood that i leaned too much on his voice as what his voice could do through sounding of the words in certain and specific way and using certain specific tonality and resonance in supporting and assisting me so my process can become more bearable, but then again with all of that, even when i understood what he was saying in common sense i lacked LIVING them.

So now this NOT living the words as i understand them is changed, because i am aware now as he is not here in the flesh as an individual human being anymore to push any buttons for no-one i have to and must push my own buttons and sound my own words and do what i have to do in order to be/become a living example as to what it means to live by the principle of oneness and equality, that which is BEST for all life, as Bernard has shown through his living when he was here.

Living time have arrived.! So indeed Bernard has given his own life so all may LIVE as one as equal as what is BEST for all LIFE as the principle of/as life.

So i am forever grateful for all what Bernard did for me and for what he did for ALL always in all ways and this gratefulness to make it count; i must live it, and so be it!!


Larry Manuela
- See more at: ... NwZ6J.dpuf

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Re: Bernard's Passing Away

Post by Leila »

Day 224: Bernard

Written on 13/08/2013

Shortly after I had received the news that Bernard had passed away and had a moment for myself -- I said his name:


I wanted to look at what would come up -- what Bernard had meant for me -- and all I got was an impression of vastness - a vastness that went into all directions, a vastness that never stopped.

There were no words, no pictures, no memories, no feelings that could describe or capture what Bernard had meant for me, what Bernard meant for this world.

Even now as I try to dig up memories, try to dig up anything at all -- there is nothing. It is as if our minds are just too damn limited to even in any way record what Bernard was and stood for -- as Bernard was not something which could just be reduced to some memories or pictures -- Bernard was way beyond that.

When I look back at specific events -- it was not so much what we were doing or how he was doing / saying things that stuck with me, but his ever stable and unwavering presence. Bernard had a way of Earthing you, bringing you Here.

I was never quite comfortable around Bernard. In general, I have never been much comfortable around people. When meeting new people I would be reserved, first wanting to see what another person's "ammo" was before engaging with them, so that I could be 'prepared' and modify my behaviour as to minimize any conflict -- and only when I had properly gauged the other person and had established for myself how to 'behave' around them -- the discomfort would fade away.

This never happened with Bernard. There was no 'gauging' Bernard, of establishing a pattern, no way of determining the 'rules' he lived by. Bernard did not live by any rules -- he was Bernard and he was simply here. He was solid as a rock as the Principles he stood by and lived in every moment -- yet fluid like water, being able to adapt and change as the moment saw fit. He was consistent in his message yet unpredictable in his expression. Bernard was not limited by moods or things happening around him to determine who he was going to be, he was here as everything and could become any expression at any time -- purely self-willed. He could be the sweetest, gentlest man -- making me burst out in tears as I did not know such gentleness could exist. He could also be the thunder and lightning rocking your foundation -- making you question your entire beingness.

Bernard showed us what was possible if we let go of our accepted and allowed limitations as what we consider it to be, 'to be human' -- and within that he was more than 'just a man'. And at the same time he showed what 'just a man' can do, as he still lived by the same "laws of physics" that we all have to abide to. He still had to eat, drink, shit, sleep. He still only had 24 hours in a day like the rest of us -- and yet he has been able to accomplish what no-one has ever done before, he accomplished the 'extra-ordinary' -- but of course, that is only because we within ourselves had settled for the ordinary.

There will probably be more things coming up as the day(s) go by as all the things I have learnt from Bernard -- from interacting with him online and having lived with him for the past 5+ years. Everything I am and the life I currently live I have him to thank for -- and for that I am eternally grateful.

Thank you Bernard.

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Re: Bernard's Passing Away

Post by Leila »

Here a chat between Esteni and a fellow Destonian which may be of assistance and support to others in terms of how each one can practically work with Bernard' Passing within one's own process:

[6:58:22 PM] Destonian: good evening
[6:58:48 PM] Esteni de Wet: Hello
[6:59:06 PM | Edited 6:59:08 PM] Esteni de Wet: And how are you doing tonight?
[6:59:22 PM] Esteni de Wet: Today - lol?
[7:00:33 PM] Destonian: i am doing much better
[7:01:04 PM] Esteni de Wet: Good to hear - I would like to discuss your process around Bernards death tonight
[7:01:16 PM] Destonian: been looking a lot at that too
[7:01:51 PM] Esteni de Wet: ok - So share what you have found till thus far
[7:02:49 PM] Destonian: first im very upset at myself for purposely staying away from getting involved with Desteni.
[7:03:29 PM] Destonian: I feel I cheated myself out of all the time I could have been learning with Bearnard
[7:03:40 PM] Destonian: I am angry he left
[7:04:25 PM] Destonian: I feel like this is nothing new for me, a patttern of loosing what I start to care about
[7:04:36 PM] Destonian: but now I feel different
[7:05:07 PM] Destonian: after looking at /doing some self forgiveness on that point
[7:05:22 PM] Esteni de Wet: ok - So different how?
[7:06:00 PM] Destonian: I don't hold those same thoughts now, it does not have the same charge
[7:07:13 PM] Destonian: i am wanting to work through the fear of loosing
[7:07:44 PM | Edited 7:07:46 PM] Esteni de Wet: Ok - So what you are saying is that you still believe these thoughts to be 'real' / 'true' - though the energy does not jolt you as much as it did before?
[7:08:23 PM] Destonian: yes
[7:08:34 PM] Esteni de Wet: ok
[7:08:43 PM] Esteni de Wet: So let me give you another perspective here
[7:08:45 PM] Destonian: the belief of everyone leaves me
[7:10:01 PM] Esteni de Wet: REalise that Bernard stood to each person that he touched as that part within ourselves which was our potential to live as an expression of ourselves - Thus with him leaving us - each one of us felt his loss in our own way as the loss of that which he gave life to within ourselves.
[7:13:48 PM] Esteni de Wet: The specific point or pattern that you are looking at in terms of another person leaving you is very specific to your preprogrammed design - as the lifepath and experience that you have had throughout your life - With him leaving you therefore reverted back to your preprogrammed design where you PERCEIVED him leaving you through the eyes of the pre-programmed experiences that you have had - Thus experiencing his death as a fear of someone leaving you whom you have allowed yourself to open yourself up.
REalise within this that you and every other person could have experienced his death in a 1000 different manners - Though because self had been predisposed to this pre-programmed design of perceiving life experiences in this manner - Self will automatically revert back to perceiving life through the patterns that self had already been exposed to
[7:13:54 PM] Esteni de Wet: Does this make sense?
[7:16:02 PM] Destonian: yes it makes perfect sense
[7:19:37 PM] Esteni de Wet: Great - Because within this realisation one is able to start taking self responsiblity within oneself for that aspect within oneself that Bernard stood as - That he showed within us what we are capable of living - So looking beyond the anger and the fear and the sadness within ourselves we will find a specific word - This word may be safety, security, intimacy, understanding, etc - And it is this word that Bernard stood as a living expression of within ourselves and it is this word as a lilving expression within ourselves that we through our interaction with Beranrd now feel that we are 'missing', that we have 'lost'. Though it is not lost - it is not missing - We have just seperated ourselves from this living expression within ourselves -
[7:20:10 PM] Esteni de Wet: So to truely honour Bernard - We must learn to honour ourselves by allowing ourselves to bring back to ourselves these living expressions of these words within ourselves
[7:22:09 PM] Destonian: I know what you are talking about. It was determination. I lost/almost gave up. But I got it again mor then ever. Don't know how to explain it
[7:22:37 PM] Esteni de Wet: Awesome - So you have already identified the word - Determination
[7:24:15 PM] Destonian: yes. I am more determined to work on myself, to get to the point where I can stand within myself. I use that word when I feel/hear the thought of fear inside of me
[7:25:02 PM] Esteni de Wet: What fear are you refering to here?
[7:25:57 PM] Destonian: so many. fear of not good enough, of loss...
[7:26:39 PM] Destonian: many thoughts going on in my head constantly, all negative.
[7:27:20 PM] Esteni de Wet: So - Within this fear -
[7:25 PM] Destonian:

<<< fear of not good enoughthe word that Bernard stood for within yourself is 'self worth'
[7:27:52 PM] Esteni de Wet: within this fear:
[7:25 PM] Destonian:

<<< of lossthe word that Bernard stood for within yourself is 'security'
[7:31:53 PM] Esteni de Wet: So - What I am showing you here is that these words that Bernard stood as, as the living expressions of these words within your life - Now that he is gone - Self is perceptually experiencing the 'loss' of these expressions within oneself - As he stood as the living expressions of these words.
Thus when you ar faced with these fears - Look beyond the fear to what is represented behind these fears - As it is these words that self had seperated oneself from - And it is these words that that once accepted as a living expresion of oneself will bring self back to the expression of life
[7:33:51 PM] Esteni de Wet: Make sense?
[7:34:07 PM] Destonian: i am processing it
[7:34:24 PM | Edited 7:34:26 PM] Esteni de Wet: Ok - What is not clear?
[7:35:19 PM] Destonian: so what must I do to get to the point of acceptance, how do I not seperate myself
[7:36:54 PM] Esteni de Wet: [7:35 PM] Destonian:

<<< so what must I do to get to the point of acceptanceAre you refering to self acceptance?
[7:36:55 PM] Destonian: how is it that I say I want this but are not able to live this expression. Choosing to fear instead of life
[7:37:27 PM] Destonian: [7:31 PM] Esteni de Wet:

<<< once accepted as a living expresion of oneselfhow do I live this?
[7:40:51 PM] Esteni de Wet: ok - Well this question is very wide - Meaning - every living expression we have to investigate how we have allowed ourselves to seprate ourselves from this word - For instance: When looking at the self expression of the word 'selfworth' - Here you will find that you have within yourselves judged yourself - There are parts of yourself that you are not able to accept about yourself - It is then to walk through each of these aspects of yourself and take each aspect whether perceptually good or bad and take responsiblity for these aspects of yourself - Self within that no longer fears these aspects within oneself and is able to harness these aspects of oneself within the physical expresssion of oneself
[7:42:07 PM] Esteni de Wet: This takes oneself a step closer to self acceptance - And within self acceptance self is able to start building one's self worth
[7:42:49 PM] Esteni de Wet: As it is seeing the value within oneself(which can only be done through the process of self acceptance) that you are able to see the worht wihtin oneself
[7:43:01 PM] Destonian: boy! I have a long road ahead of me.
[7:45:15 PM] Destonian: 49 years of evidence gathered to prove I am unworthy to break down
[7:47:49 PM] Esteni de Wet: The more memories we carry the more information we have to move through - Sure - Though you will find that even within having more memories - It is always the same patterns and as such we can thus walk through the memories - And as you walk through the memories and start to identify the patterns - you will find that the next set of memories that you walk through you will find the same patterns repeating - which you are then able to allocate to the same pattern - Thus compressing your process to the patterns that you have idenitified
[7:50:22 PM] Esteni de Wet: So - As an exercise I'd like us to do walk another MC in conjuction to the one that we are walking now - To start this MC off - I'd like you to write down all the things that you see as positive about yourself and all the things that you see as negative / bad about yourself - The more information you can bring together the better - As this will be the process that we will start to walk around self acceptance which will lead to self worht

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Re: Bernard's Passing Away

Post by Joana » ... ocess.html

DAY 1 - A New Start In My Process
I have been walking the Desteni Process over the last four years and since last year I started writing my Journey to Life blog in Portuguese. This is the seven year process of writing that is shared in many blogs by people around the world and today I realised that it is time to have my Journey to Life in English, so that my words can be shared globally. This decision has also culminated with an event that has shaken my world recently: the death of Bernard Poolman on Sunday 11th August.

Where should I start? I will start from this present moment where I am now. There is a mix of surprise with Bernard's death, as well as a new confidence within me and in the Group of people walking this Process. The point of surprise comes from the idea of infinity that I had within me, like a child that believes that the parents will live forever - and that's what Bernard became to me: a father that stood as an example of Integrity, Self-Honesty, Self-Commitment to All Life on Earth. His support to others was unconditional while not accepting bullshit from the ego/mind's of humans. When I visited the farm in April 2012 I remember my initial nervousness when meeting him but soon I realised that we were equals and I allowed myself to Hear him without self-judgments and to simply Be there with the rest of the group. At the farm, I witnessed the potential of humanity in coexistence, in supporting each other, in finding solutions, in being practical, in enjoying ourselves together, in looking at our own selves and taking responsibility of each individual's correction.

Yesterday evening, when I came across the news that Bernard had passed away, my mind went into a state of denial and regret for not having been to the farm earlier this year to meet with Bernard again. This reaction of the mind showed me the pattern of regret that I haven't yet taken responsibility for, but the fact that I could see this point straight away without giving in to self-blame is the best thing I could give to myself. This shows me that my Process of self-correction is Real and that the awareness taught to me in the various chats with Bernard, Sunette, Esteni and others can be Practically Lived by me. That's what Bernard represents to me: the Practical Living Example of standing in Oneness and Equality, Self-Correction, fearless, stability and awareness of the interconnected existence that we, as Humanity, are responsible for. Therefore, by walking this Process, everything that Bernard represents exists in me in every moment of breath Here.

This morning, I went through my notebook from my visit to the farm and I started to allow the energy of regret within me for not having had more chats with Bernard, or for not taking "enough" notes, and for not having recorded every single word. It is interesting how my mind can sabotage myself by giving in into the pattern of wishing to go back in time. I now see that this desire is in complete self-interest to have the sense of comfort again, the sense of protection and security that I had when discussing points with Bernard. This is another indicator that I am not yet creating such Stability within myself. As Bernard said to me: "If you cannot stand Alone you are fucked because you are dependent."

On my notebook I found the following:

Points that I see in Bernard:
Knows exactly what he does
Stands unconditionally
Does not worry what other people say or think
Speaks in common sense all the time

If I am Honest with Myself, I am still separated from these points as I am not yet consistent in my Direction, Self-Correction and Dedication to myself Here. Regardless of how many chats I could have with Bernard, it is up to MY decision to Become my Own Example of Living the Principles of Life. Bernard was not going to Walk the Process for me, of course. He did provide All the support that he could for everyone interested in becoming a better version of the human race. As Bernard also mentioned, "When we are born we are given Life but somewhere in between we lose direction and we lose who we are." so he put together a bunch of materials online for guidance in our process of Self-Forgiveness, Self-Realization and ultimate Self-Change, and so started the foundation of a group (Destonians) of people that are willing to learn the Principles of Life, to walk them, to apply Self-Forgiveness, to know oneself and to become Self-honest. During the years that I have been participating in the group, I have witnessed the quality of the material shared, the priceless information, the unique writings and its positive impact on my daily application, my own writings, my blogs, my choices in Life and my relationships.

Therefore, I am Grateful for Bernard's existence on Earth. I am grateful for his kindness, for not giving up of his Process, for not keeping his solutions for himself and for establishing the founding blocks of the Destonians, of the Equal Moneymovement, of the Journey to Life blogs and of all the Courses that have been created to support everyone around the world. I am also grateful to Bernard for being firm in his communication with me, without bullshit, and for showing me solutions in common sense and helping me to see the mind/thoughts that I have allowed within me. And finally, I am grateful that Bernard instigated the seeds of a marriage with Joao, which did happen in September 2012. Bernard has always been ahead of the game!

For those that did not manage to go to the farm while Bernard was there, there is no point to regret it either. His words are available everywhere online, on his writings, videos and books, and only Self can walk this Process for Oneself. Again, there are no excuses to not live the Principles of Life as Bernard Poolman did.
In essence, WE HAVE ALL THE TOOLS WE NEED TO WALK THIS PROCESS AND GET IT DONE. Meaning, to realise who we can be as Integrity and Common sense. Overall, we are All potential "Bernards" as beings on Earth that are not accepting the pre-programmed thoughts of our minds to determine who we will become and that are not accepting the systems that are destroying our planet.

One major point that Bernard raised in our conversations was my Religion of Self and my judgmental patterns, which I am still understanding how these work in my mind and how these judgments shape my decisions. Many of them will be expanded on this blog, so that it can also support other human beings going through similar points.
Walking this process means to let go of the personalities, of the perceived comfort of the ego and every single judgement that creates separation with all that exists. There is no quick fix: it will take at least 7 years of self-commitment to walk through the patterns and personalities that I have built within me.
Many of the people walking this process are students, are future politicians, are economists, are artists, are teachers, are parents, are corporate, are directors, are unemployed, are psychologists, are educators... and the result of applying the tools of Desteni in our daily actions have enormous benefits in establishing self-stability, self-trust, self-appreciation and self-change. I have been meeting many Destonians and it is amazing to see human beings walking their own process of Self-Forgiveness and that we are equals in this Process: common fears, common realisations, common self-motivation, common care, common concerns and common willingness to change oneself and the world for the better.

So I ask myself: would it be different if I were to meet Bernard again at the farm this year? If the answer in my mind is a Yes, then I must investigate every single point that Bernard Poolman represents to me and investigate where and how am I not giving and living these points to myself unconditionally. Of course that his physical presence, his voice, his jokes will be missed when I am back to the farm this year, but his Words remain within Me by Living the Principles that He Stood for.
One must Hear the Message and Walk it.

Thank you for reading and for walking with.

Tuesday, August 13, 2013

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Re: Bernard's Passing Away

Post by Joao » ... tence.html

The Greatest Man to have ever walked the Earth has died.

Bernard Poolman was decleared dead on August 11th 2013 at 2.50AM S.A Time - his heart stopped.

He would never claim to be "the Greatest Man to have walked the Earth" - in fact, he once told me in a moment we shared alone inside the car: "I am just a piece of dirt, talking dirt. Bernard does not exist".

The reality is that in a world where Absolute Self-Honesty, Commitment and Dedication to Life is simply nonexistent, Bernard - as the Living Human Expression of such - becomes, by definition, the Greatest Man to have walked the Earth. Forget about Buddha, forget about Lao... forget even Jesus: What Bernard has achieved in his last Life Time will echo till the end of Time. Everyone that has ever walked this Earth is dwarfed by his achievement - yet, if you read his writings and hear his recordings it is clear that his "only desire" is that We All go "Super Nova" and explode in an unconditional Expression of Equal Life - and thus join him in "his greatness". That was his Life commitment, and he died precisely doing so. (interviews explaining what happened will be online soon).

What makes Bernard the "Greatest Man to have walked the Earth" is simply one thing:The Principle that he stood for and as and Lived fully --> Equality and Oneness as All as Life. This is what I am calling "his achievement", this is the "greatness" point that he has established for himself and lived fully: THE PRINCIPLE. That is why "Bernard" did not exist -- only the Principle of Equality and Oneness as What is Best for All Life. That is why he was only "a piece of talking dirt": A Principle Based Living "piece of dirt".

I am one of the very few luckiest people that had the opportunity to meet this "Piece of Talking Earth".
I meet him on the 5th of April 2012. He and Esteni received me and Joana at the Kings Shaka Airport in Durban, S.A. It was a hot day. He was sitting down with Esteni having a coffee in the airport cafe outside, and when he saw us he got up and gave each of us a hug. Last time I was in his presence was on the day I left the farm, the 4th of May 2012. We hugged. I said to him "thank you so much for everything". In Humbleness he nodded his head and his last words to me were: "Make the Best".

When I read the first message that was sent to the group saying that Bernard had died I did not want to believe it. I felt the energy rush on my solar plexus right away. I was in denial, hopping it was a "test". At the same time it all seemed too real and therefore I was also in shock: I spoke to Leila (she lives on the Farm) on skype and she confirmed it. I felt like crying, and a few tears came down. It was clear to me that this would not change what we, Destonians, are doing as a group. If anything it actually has made me stronger: my resolve and commitment to this process is greater. Bernard's death to me is like the death of a Father: Now I am in this world alone with "his shoes to fill". His death revealed a void within me that only I can fill: He stood as the Living Example of Self-Honesty; The Living Example of Lived Self-Forgiveness -- in essence, the Living Example of LIFE. Now that he is gone it is clear to me that only I can become my own example of Self-Honesty; my own example of Lived Self-Forgiveness -- in essence, the Living Example of LIFE -- for MYSELF first, and thus everyone else. I realized that I have placed the responsibility for Change on Bernard, and now that he is dead I can see how it is up to me, first, to Change Myself: Stand within and as the Same Principle he stood for and as: What is Best for All Life as Equality and Oneness.

His Death is his Ultimate Teaching to me. My world is not the same anymore: It is not the same because it seems like for the first time I can see that only I can walk my Process, only I can change myself, only I can establish my Self-Honesty. In a way, now that he is dead, these is a sense of "freedom" that has emerged within me: This only means that I recognize the responsibility I have toward myself to set myself free. I can see now how I was hopping he would do that for me -- now I see that it is Entirely up to me.

I wish everyone in the world could have met him for at least one day -- poor guy, he would have to grow very old...
In one day he would change your world for ever - you would not be the same anymore: With words he would have you see and consider things that you had never before seen and considered, and within it he would help you come closer to the realization of Who You Really Are as Life. I spent 30 days in his presence, and for that I am one of the luckiest persons on this Earth.

When Bernard was talking directly to me about points relevant to Who I have become in separation of Life, it was as if he was looking into the "depths of my being": It was like he was inside me, knowing ALL of me, and with every single word he spoke he would "pierce my heart" with "arrows of awareness, self-honesty and common sense" to make me See what is real: What it is that I am doing to myself and how I can bring myself back to Reality. It was like looking into the Mirror of Truth. How many people, dead or alive, in this world could/can do this? No one else. So you see, what his daughter Cerise said about him could not be more exact: "Now he is dead, and the world is poorer for it."

Jesus's second coming came as Bernard: He took on himself the task of becoming Jesus's Living Message of Forgiveness, "Love thy neighbor as thyself" and "Investigate all things and keep what is good". He has done this to the ultimate degree, and within it he has changed Existence forever.

He has changed my Existence in an inconceivable way. Those who have been in his presence and received his support can adhere to this, as well as all of those that have dared themselves to hear his words and apply his message.

We, Destonians, are his Disciples.
Unfortunately this word ("disciples") has been misunderstood throughout the ages, and as a consequence all that we have ever had is "Jesus's believers". The so called "Jesus's disciples" were just "Jesus's believers": They believed in Jesus, but they did not have the Discipline to live his message, they did not in fact followed his footsteps and thus did not become Equal to Jesus.

Bernard is the only Disciple Jesus ever had - and we, Destonians, are his Disciples: We will walk on his footsteps, we will walk the same process he walked. He is dead but he lives in all of those that commit to risk everything to create a World Best for All -- in his words, "what is the point of this life if nothing of it continues after death?"

He is dead but all of him still continues as the Desteni Message and the Destonians.
He changed my existence - and every other Destonian's. Together we will change existence -- we will change this world. This process of change has been documented for years and it will still be documented, everyday, online, for all to see. We, Destonians, stand as The Solution as we become the Living Words of Equality and Oneness as Life, as Bernard was / as the words Bernard Lived / as the words spoken by Bernard.

Bernard, the "piece of dirt", was a gentle man. He was always surrounded by dogs. He would care for the well-being of all at the farm. He was the one that went shopping for food. He would feed the dogs, give them water. He would always make sure that the big kettle always had water to prepare coffee. One day, when he arrived from shopping, he sat at the table outside to play a card game with a new French press coffemaker and said: "ahah, now we are ready". He loved his coffee, and he had the funniest practical jokes. One day my internet connection wasn't good on my laptop, so I sat with Bernard in his room for the group chat we were having. He would type slowly, using the middle finger of each hand. He wrote something, pressed enter and when he read it he realized there was a typo and he said "oh, fuck!" - and then in a manner of "letting go" he said "oh well" while shaking his head and hand. In the mornings he would come outside still in his white robe, with a cup of coffee in his hand and barefoot. He was always using either jeans or shorts if it was too hot. He would always use the same kind of shirt and he always used the same leather boots that seemed quite old -- he said to me: "these (boots) are the best. You buy them one time, and they last forever".

He was always very consistent in his movement, whether he was walking, preparing coffee, putting wood in the fire, eating, opening and closing cupboards, petting the dogs... I used to spend a lot of time in the house where he slept (outside and inside) and many times he would look at me and say "What's up, Joao?" -- the only thing I wanted was that he started to speak, about anything and everything: "Tell me something that will support me" is what I used to think for myself -- and many times he did. I have quite a few recordings that I made with my phone, PC and voice recorder, and some will be shared soon for all to hear what he was like when he was not doing any specific interview. In one of the conversations we had alone he was telling me about certain events that took place in his life, and I started laughing, as I thought to myself "it is the same thing with me", and he said "yes, it is the same shit you have". Once he said to me "You are the Portuguese version of me, it's fascinating" - that was nice to hear that, because if he was able to transcend his limitation, I must also be able to do it -- and if I can do it, everyone can also do it. Many times I was the last person leaving the house where he slept, and I was fortunate to have had one on one conversations with him.

I always wished those conversations would last longer, but when it was 3am and I had to be up at 7am to care for the horses, I had to sleep... But if he had stayed up talking to me, I would have stayed up and listen to every word he had to say. It might not seem like it, but he could be very softly spoken, almost like whispering. I could hear him talk for hours. Some people cannot stand his voice (too much honesty in his words?) -- but to me his voice is like the sound of the smallest wave crashing into shore; it is like the birds singing in the morning; it is like the sweetest lullaby. Many times when I go to bed I put one of his interviews knowing I will fall asleep with him talking some sense into my dreams... He never told me to do anything, he never decided for me, he only ever made suggestions - but most of all he asked me questions: "Who are you, Joao?". Bernard would drive without a sit belt, and once he said "When it is your time to die, you die" -- as it turns out he never needed the sit belt... Once he placed his hand on my shoulder and said "breathe" - He had a soft touch. Slowly he started to massage and with his thumb he found a spot, pressed down and said: "This is the pain you are causing to the body" -- yes, it was very painful!

One day after a card game, Oinky, the dog, jumped on top of the table, and from there he jumped to Bernard's lap and sat down - Bernard said: "I am a dog chair now".
This is the "piece of dirt" I will miss. This is the kind, caring, honest, joyful and playful "piece of dirt" that I will miss - and that saddens me.

I joined the Desteni Open forum on January 2008 after having spent 4 months watching videos, reading the material and applying the tools. My first post on the forum was on the 9th of February, and the title was "To be honest, I do not know". Within it I expressed my uncertainty about Desteni: "Is it true? Or is it all a lie?". I wanted it to be true, but "how can I be sure?" At the same time, "how can this NOT be the truth? No one could conjure up this stuff". Everything made absolute sense - but the story behind it seemed unbelievable: "Is this real? Is this The History of the Universe? The History of mankind? Is this it?". I had already realized that whichever way we "got here", the only relevant point was the solution -- and by the time I made the post I had already been applying Self-Forgiveness for almost 6 months and I could clearly see the benefits. I could also NOT deny the obvious Common Sense message that was shared. But in my mind there was always a "but". Bernard answered to my post:


you are facing the point all will face

self honesty as life--or self dishonesty as I still want to--I am not sure--and various ways the mind test you

In an illusion--self honesty will be presented by the mind as deception--because it does not fit in any pattern --it does not follow any rule

to be oneness--by itself--is the mind--to be one and equal--the solution--thus-what is this one and equal and how do we live it practically

we may suggest--but you have to live and find out who you really are

the process of self honesty requires no time--as it is simple

we are either self honest as life as all as equal-- and that is who and what we live

or we are self dishonest--thus trying to work out what self honesty would be

in this--we have the breath to establish the self trust and self expression

thus--do not change what you do--live what you do and in every breath--answer the living question--Am I self honest as ALL LIFE as EQUAL and THUS one

should be fun--as this is not about right or wrong--but to focus on one point--equality and oneness--to stop all POLARITY

as polarity is separation in manifested form


These are (some of) his last words to me on from a chat I had with him online on the 1st of August 2013:

Bernard Poolman: People either live directively facing consequence, or they live waiting for things to happen to them before they make decisions. You have to decide who you are in every breath at the cutting edge of time. That determines, through accumulation, who you will be and who you may become.
Joao Jesus: the consequence being me changing -- making those decisions for real imply that I change for real
Bernard Poolman: Yes, that's one of it - but, also your world changing. When you change, your world change - will you make the same decisions once your world changes? When I look at a decisions, I incorporate all possible change to ensure that no matter what change: my decision will stand. There I look at it in self honesty = that is the cutting-edge of time. Then I remain the same throughout all time, based on Principles.

The Best Gift I can give myself and the world is to become the example he was, so that I can grace myself and others with the same brutal and unconditional loving Self-Honesty that he was.

He changed Existence because he changed my Existence - and as I "become him" -- meaning, as I become the Same Living Principle of Equality and Oneness as Life as What is Best for all -- I will be able to support others with the same unconditional support he gave me.

The Life of the Father will be visited upon the children

These are the Lyrics of a song I wrote about Bernard, 24 hours after he died. The song will soon be available on EQAFE:

You might be gone
But you're with me in every step I take
You might have passed on
But you're still with me in every bound I break

Thank you for your kindness
Thank you for your laughter
But most of all thank you
For your Liveliness

You showed me the way
To really love my fellow man
You showed me how
We are all just made of clay

I make your words my own
And your example my breath of Life
And I won't stop until Life is Rife

I am glad I met you
And lived by your side
To see what it means
To care for Life

We'll still be here
Showing others what you showed us
And together
We'll get past all fear

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