I just decided starting with the Destini Light Course. A good day to start because the weather is very depressing today.
But the trigger that led me into starting with the Light Course was twofold:
-reading Dutch blogposts from Kim Amourette, particularly ones about programming, fear and the desire for relationships;
-watching and reading a lot about Michel Houellebecq's "Whatever" http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0211359/?ref_=fn_al_tt_1
, which moved me a lot (book is shipped tomorrow...when I get my first assignment).
The lack of affection in my life, being single for very long is a problem I think about daily and I have been struggling with it a great deal at times. I see lies everywhere in our society, also in those single coaches who promise to solve it and "find my mate within a year", where I only see a gigantic lottery with fewer and fewer winners and a growing army of losers. I want to find out the real truth and see what I can do that might help beyond the many things I already tried in vain.
I wonder if I can be happy without a girlfriend or is my life miserably incomplete and failed and should I therefore struggle to find what I desire until I die? The search for happiness itself is also something I question. I hope to find some answers.
Also, I have started to view the world differently after losing my job. It put a lot of things in perspective for me and has triggered me to live more consciously and to think of a solution to never have to do another dead end office job in Information Technology. For the time being I have less worries about money but the sadness from the almost endless amount of meaningless jobs has come more into focus at times. There you have it, the two main domains of struggle, love and work.
I am currently working on this project:
in my own tempo but I hope that it will not suffer from my Destini Light Course, nor that my Destini Light Course will suffer from the project.
That's a lot of references, sorry but that sums up what's on my mind.