Helping friend who has a Drug addiction


Helping friend who has a Drug addiction

Postby Ellie » 03 Jul 2015, 16:15


I wanted to find out the best way to tell someone they have a drug addiction. A person I know has a weed addiction. I am afraid to come out and say to the person that 'you have a weed addiction'. Is there a way to tell the person or keep it as it is not my place to say. The hesitance to tell the person comes from the fear of the person taking this personally, and thinking worse of me for it. In end it is best to tell the person what they cannot see for themself.. The person thinks that the addiction is ok, and broadens their mind.

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Andrea Rossouw
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Re: Helping friend who has a Drug addiction

Postby Andrea Rossouw » 03 Jul 2015, 21:15

Hi Elie,

well you hit the nail on the head there when you explained your fear - that the person might take it personally and think badly of you. If you address these fears and remove them you will find that when you speak to someone you will not be controlled by your own fear of the other person.

For example - to assist you with some common sense. When looking at whether the other person will take it personally - here one can for example asses for yourself - whether what you have to share is practical, and supports the person - if yes - then you know that what you are about to say is what is best and therefore them taking it personally you realize might be a reaction, but it is their reaction to deal with and should not become your reaction to their reaction. Therefore this reaction to another person's reactions shows you where you are at - in relation to your self standing, your self stability - that in essence you are being controlled by your reaction to another persons reactions - see how far removed we become from being our own directive principle and the worry about what another might go through as their own creation based on self honesty - becomes our dishonesty.

Secondly - if the person then 'thinks' of you differently - this is similar to the example above - does it matter? If you are reacting to 'what they may think of you' what you are saying directly is that who you are, is firstly determined by what others think of you. Secondly if a reaction exists in you about what you 'think' the other person thinks of you - then this means that you believe what the person is thinking of you. Therefore your reaction is actually to yourself as you now access your own self beliefs and judgments. Otherwise it should not matter what another 'thinks' of you - as you know it is not who you are. So my suggestions are to - get to know yourself and then you will be unmoved by what happens inside another person. Then when you do decide to direct information with another - breathe through any emotional reactions you may have in the moment, simply stop any thoughts - as indicated above - such as 'but what if she gets angry' or 'but what if she take this personally'. As the thoughts come up and you start reacting emotionally - breathe and as you breathe out you let the buildup go through the body and out. And then you use your breathing as a physical anchor to keep you 'here' and to not 'float' away into your mind, into the anxiety.


Re: Helping friend who has a Drug addiction

Postby Ellie » 04 Jul 2015, 04:14

Thanks Andrea, this was helpful. :)

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Valentin Rozman
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Re: Helping friend who has a Drug addiction

Postby Valentin Rozman » 05 Jul 2015, 07:28

Hi Ellie!

Nice that you want to help your friend with weed addiction. I met also a few people who were smoking weed and were claiming that it assist them with 'expanding their mind' and 'becoming more sensitive' and that 'calms them down' and makes them 'more relaxed and happy'. However I am able with great precision to point out people who are under influence of weed since they are restless when they speak, their body trembles and they are not able of commonsensical communication and responsible behavior. So weed and other drugs really do not assist beings in expanding themselves but only create an illusion about that where actually drugs suppress self.

Assisting others definitely is and act of self responsibility as we are not only responsible for our actions or what we do, but also for our non actions or what we allow to continue. However within assisting others the question is how effective we are at that. What makes us successful at supporting fellow beings is our ability to understand their addiction and their mind which is also connected to understanding of ourself. Andrea explained very nicely how our fears are actually a projection of self judgement. Thus if we want to support others the first step is to support self and understand how our own mind and our own addictions to energies of the mind. When we take full responsibility for our thoughts, feelings and emotions, we are then able to effectively direct self and assist other. This is then also reflected in our ability to stay stable within regardless of what other say about us.

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Re: Helping friend who has a Drug addiction

Postby Antoaneta » 05 Jul 2015, 16:46

Hi Ellie, I want to add to what is being said here that even if you tell them that they got an addiction the fact that they think they don't will not make them realize that they do. From my experience I can tell you that they will most likely react to your words but that does not mean that you should not address it. Just pick a more gentle approach so that at least the "seed" is planted in their awareness and that will serve as a guidance to themselves for when they are ready to realize this for themselves and they will recall your words. You may also present an example of an addiction that you have experienced yourself. Addictions are not always white and black. It can be a food item or overdoing weights at the gym.....anything that you feel the need to have without self control/self direction that is not supportive for the body.


Re: Helping friend who has a Drug addiction

Postby Ellie » 06 Jul 2015, 03:44

Hello, thank you for the support.

We were having conversations about the world. It was only when the alcohol and weed addiction come in. We were talking about war, politics, culture, writing, relationships, and self-esteem issues. This person is now only my friend. We met that very day. The next day I saw the person we spoke about the cost of weed because the moment was not right talk about the weed addiction. Another thing we had in common was that we both liked to write. I wrote the links to hear and gave that.

With the help here I many ways to help another and myself.

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Re: Helping friend who has a Drug addiction

Postby Carrie » 06 Jul 2015, 10:02

Hey there Ellie! Welcome to the forum.

Cool that you're find your way around and asking questions. There's some cool support here in this thread.

Outside of the addiction point and in the future, if you've got specific questions, you are welcome to place them in the Ask a Destonian thread.

And when you have a moment, it would be cool if you can open up your own introduction thread in the Introduction section and tell us a little bit about yourself - where are you at personally and how did you find us here at Desteni?

Did you see that we have a free Desteni I Process course called Desteni I Process Lite. Definitely suggest to check it out if you haven't already.

And lastly: please read through the forum guidelines.

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