Tormod's blogg

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tormod
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Re: Tormod's blogg

Postby tormod » 18 Sep 2019, 20:30

Self forgiveness from my facebook wall

I forgive myself as my beingness, my innocence, that I have accepted and allowed myself for the shame I feel for my discovered state of heaven within me, this pristine inner reality and existence that is simply good and golden, for me to truly indulge, where I find that the world where I am is not yet ready for such a reality, and I feel like my inner self is being beaten and broken down by the ignorance of others – where I feel like lol, I carry this golden – dream – fantasy – heaven within me, and yet no one can still see this inner reality and existence of me, where I realize that people have layers and layers of suppressed matter – and are blinded to see lol my beauty (!) BUT I know that if I keep at it (!) and GIVE, SHARE, EXPRESS and LIVE this inner beingness reality - in real life – day after day after day, it will play out and change my reality, it is a matter being real, of consistency and discipline, where I need to keeping at it and not give up – and live that best for all - inner reality from within to without, that I know I can be. It will come. We have to bring it.



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Re: Tormod's blogg

Postby tormod » 22 Sep 2019, 13:37

https://tormodhvgj.wordpress.com/2019/0 ... nic-sheep/


Day 845 – The schizophrenic sheep


Saturday 21.09.19 I was in the mountains behind the municipality of Sauda, south west Norway. We where near the water of Slettedalsvanet, in Slettedalen.

In early summer we drive most all of our 100 or so, sheep from the Hogganvik farm up to Slettedalen so they can be self sufficient with grass all summer long. This procedure is done by most all sheep farmers in Norway.



I woke 04:50 that morning in order to prepare myself for the 1,5-hour drive to the site of the gathering. I had been a little anxious about it all and I was glad to start the drive. When I arrived at 06:40 there was greetings, breakfast, coffee, and a warm stove.

We were about 10 people from different farms who had sheep there, who were walking in the mountain to locate sheep – and bring them down to the large pen where we would separate them to the different farms of where the sheep will be for the winter.

It all started very well and we walked deep into the valley, away from the pen and our cars. I walked up into a mountain side, from where I would walk in a way that where painful for my feet over time. I was walking straight forward in a 45-degree hill. So that my feet would be forced sideways, almost sliding, and by this create a burning under my feet. It felt like blisters after a while. I walked like this for about 3 hours. I considered to cool down my feet in a river, but I thought that I did not have a towel to dry and that it would compromise my comfort with being wet on my feet. I see now that I was overthinking the issue and that I should have simply cooled down in water sooner. Later when my feet where really soar after walking – I did dip them into the very cold mountain water. And if there is something, I have learned to appreciate in later years it is to properly cool down in water. And this water was really freezing – and a lovely relief for my feet. After that I was still walking down towards the pen, still scouting for sheep. At this point I was alone and walking steady back down in direction the pen.

Then I discovered 7 sheep. I could hear their bells from far, but now I saw them. I was standing 70 meters from them and catching my breathe, and they were standing and looking at me, and I thought; I want to share myself to the sheep for the best possible outcome of the intention of mine – to bring them down to the pen.



So, I decided in that moment – to go back to my principle when working with animals. To do what I can to make sure things are done in deep consideration and respect for the animal – when I handle animals. That is one of the principles that I made to myself when I came to Hogganvik village and farm.

So instead of me going into my mind box, thinking about what to so, I decided to share in speech to the sheep, my ideas and intent. I told the sheep, in spoken words, something like this: “Listen up guys, my feet are hurting and I don’t feel much like running after you, so let’s cooperate and find the best way for us to together to come down to the pen, ok”



Now I am not a sheep whistler, lol but like I say I have my principles and I do know how it could compromise the situation, if I was to go into reactions, anger, fear or emotions else. If I go into emotions and reactions, they will notice that and possibly take of in some other direction – out of fear. Its about principles and within that, integrity and understanding.



There was a brown sheep that was the leader of the pack of 7, easy to notice, and I was saying these words to her. So, after stating this they still stood still, breathing under the heavy wool having grown on their back all summer. Then I made sure I was clear of reactions – I started to clap my hands and say “HOI” and “let’s go” – so that they started moving. I was a little nervous that they might suddenly take of in another direction, but the whole situation evolved fine. The leader sheep had experience and knew where we where going. So, all of a sudden, to my surprise we were all suddenly down by the pen. The sheep had stopped, outside the pen and seamed not willing to enter. And again, I took to talking my inside to them, in self honesty, telling them I really did not have the strength to run after them into the woods and that the door to the pen was open, lets move inside. After some back and forth, some testing of each other, I stayed on my principles and I managed to get all 7 inside the pen. I told the brown leader sheep, that, I would write a text on the experience and so I did!

After this I was still catching my breathe, and calming down, I again went for a dip of feet in water.

Which was again even more to my likings. And I felt deeply empowered and strengthened from having actually talked the sheep into cooperation, knowing deep within the sanity of that and not needing to run after them into everywhere out of reactions, emotions and projections. My physical body – and my being have made me aware of how this cooperation between me and the sheep, really did play out and evolve, and it is really so simple – yet we make it so complicated.



So brown leader sheep & group of 7 – this is for you guys and cooperation of beings.

I drove back home to the village that afternoon – from having spent the whole day in the mountains. My body was aching and soar and yet my spirit was so high lol. I felt marvellous and I was so content with classical music on the radio, my body all exhausted and my being so fresh and renewed!

Thank you Slettedalen!



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Re: Tormod's blogg

Postby tormod » 24 Sep 2019, 11:04

https://tormodhvgj.wordpress.com/2019/0 ... -early-on/


Day 846 – Morning ritual – stabilizing from early on


I have been starting to do some new morning routines since this summer.

There are two things I do every morning these days. First one is, before I get out of bed, I breathe deeply and I check myself within, I lay in bed and I check myself, if there is any mind bother left from the night before (?) If there is any point of blame or any sort of emotions that linger from the night. I will then forgive this properly before I get out of bed. Then breathing and slowing down, I move out of bed, I drink a glass of water – first thing – and then off to the toilet.

Then, I go outside, I move out side to a tree just outside the door here, where I find a stand. I touch the tree, I might embrace the tree, I lift my hand and say “Greetings father sky”, I lower my hand and say “Greetings mother earth,” I then greet all the life forms, the birds, the grass, the water, the mountain, the rocks, the air, the oxygen, the molecules, the rain and the sun, the cats, the bugs, the houses and the ocean – literally anything that I notice – and I greet myself standing there. I greet my self as my body and as my being.

So, I start my day with this: First forgive within self all the moving energy and systems that are operating within me – from a night sleep, and then I move out to greet the day standing beside this tree. Deeply breathing, and taking it in. It may seem simple, or comic even, but after a while it becomes natural and very supportive to do this. I can assure you it is a very supportive morning routine and it does not take much time.

Most of all this standing by the tree, is a safe space to fall back on, if things become stressful or reactive in my day. I can then “fall back” on this space and pocket of inner support of calmness from my morning- grounding myself. It is also a solid point of finding myself standing – in self-support – over time.

So, the forgiveness of self from whatever is occupying my mind in the morning’s is important – so that I don’t drag that bother and mind systems of emotions – into my day. It would literally poison my day – like we know. So why not forgive the “poison”, from self (!?) before even getting out of bed – if you need support on how to practically do this – please contact me and I can assist you.

And then to move outside in the fresh morning air. Take it in, in long breaths, I do the greetings to the earth and to the sky, to myself and to it all.

This have truly stabilized my day, and I will keep at this practice and very supportive morning routine. If anything is unclear – let us know – enjoy the day now!



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Re: Tormod's blogg

Postby tormod » 03 Oct 2019, 16:12

https://tormodhvgj.wordpress.com/2019/1 ... ss-tormod/


Day 847 – Why do you walk the Desteni I Process, Tormod ?


I ask myself this question, as a reminder and motivation to myself, onto why chose to walk the Desteni I Process Pro.

Back in the early 2012 I would choose to start my Desteni I Process – because it is a way out of the hell that humanity have created on earth. It was an exit and a door – into something that would let me know about my mind, answers to the thousands if not millions of questions I had within me of – why does humans have a mind, why all this suffering, why the religion why why why….



From walking my Desteni I Process I have come to learn to liberate myself from my mind’s total enslavement of my/the physical. I would learn to hack into my own mind, to be able to forgive myself to then understand my mind, in outmost detail. I was and have been and am still working on forgiving and removing/deleting my schizophrenia.



Walking my Desteni I Process have proved to me that I can liberate myself from my own mind’s programs. I was soon to realize that by learning to forgive and understand my mind – I am at the same time taking response – ability for my total and all of creation. And within that – literally saving/changing the world from myself as starting point. Desteni I Process is like being Neo in Matrix, I am very, very serious when I say that.

Walking my Desteni I Process I have come to face all my dirty secrets and my dark sides. To forgive it all in detail, and be able to understand the systems behind the suffering.



Choosing to walk with Desteni was easy – though it took me a while to decide. And every day I now see the effect and outcome of that choice.

I initially chose this path – because I saw it a as a true way out of the hell we have been in. Mind consciousness systems enslaving of my body and my universal being. I saw Desteni I Process as a way to exit and to become real – become life. Because mind consciousness system has been the opposite of life – it has been death, suffering and abuse – that is the true effect of our mind system living. The diseases of “thought” and “believe” have poisoned humanity for a very long time.

This is the last life we have on earth – as consciousness. So, learning to see this in real time – choosing to walk with Desteni I Process was simple, it was as simple as choosing life and not the death of systems as the mind consciousness system.



I chose Desteni I Process because I chose life, and I chose Oneness and Equality for all beings. To make this earth into a real sanctuary and heavenly place for all to live – that is the kind of potential we live by at Desteni I Process Pro – it is the ultimate ride. And I mean that with all my hearth.



Some self forgiveness to go :

I Forgive myself as my Beingness, my Innocence, that I have accepted and allowed myself for seeing into the deeper dimensions of me and I se these flaws and errors, these system faults, and I come to realize that this is part of my schizophrenia and the disease of being me, that I was born with this mental fault and error call it schizophrenia, that made my mind disfunction a certain way, my beingness and physical and my mind relationship was skewed and out of order – even before I was born – meaning from the creation of me.



I Forgive myself as my Beingness, my Innocence, that I have accepted and allowed myself to suppress and deny my mind, being and body’s misalignments within me that lead me to experiences that are lesser than, to experiences that are sorry to be honest, and I feel disheartened by it and I feel like breaking down with it – because there is no simple way out of that sort of suffering it is simply flaws in the creation of me – from “the other side” that made me into that which I am – a flaw.



Within this I Forgive myself as my Beingness, my Innocence, that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear to include myself with people that might experience the same kind of flaws and illnesses, where I feel this deep down disgust and shame from being schizophrenic and all the sorry things I have done as a result of such a illness.



I Forgive myself as my Beingness, my Innocence, that I have accepted and allowed myself to think “ah to hell with it” , “ this world is not worth of saving” or to project myself into a new me – a new persona, where I again become sad and depressed from schizophrenia simply recreating itself from mind projections.



Within this I Forgive myself as my Beingness, my Innocence, that I have accepted and allowed myself for judging my mind and what It may present to me, because deep, deep down I fear that my schizophrenia was to restart itself and get back at me – and overwrite the many years of self forgiveness and simply fuck me over again.



I Forgive myself as my Beingness, my Innocence, that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear to have my schizophrenia get back at me.



I was chatting with a old friend last night, one who lives with OCD and some of what was shared was that some people are born with mental illness – it is simply in our path, it is something that we have to deal with. It is a error in our creation of self. Some people have a bit more to deal with in this life and that is something that we have to accept. That is how that is. And it felt like we where cuddling our head together lol… and like we embraced each other and motivated each other to keep standing and to keep proving that even with OCD or schizophrenia – it is possible to have a quality life and within that to make a real difference in the lives others and the millions to come – not as consciousness but as real physical, breathing, pulsing life here.



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Re: Tormod's blogg

Postby tormod » 04 Oct 2019, 14:58

Some Self Forgiveness on : BLAME



Do give time to Atlanteans 181- 189 where we can hear blame being explained

A snippet from that :

Blame is operating in phases, phase 1 the beingness channels into this big bang explosion - white light manifestation, this moment of decision of wanting to attack/blame something/someone. Phase 2 there is a discharge of this white light energy where the beingness channels into thoughts, backchats and emotions and in phase 3, the beingness channels into imagination where a whole new mini-universe of blame is created.


I forgive myself as my beingness, my innocence, that I have accepted and allowed myself to be in a state of blame against any being that might present itself or present something of themselves, in any way as superior or in opposite to me or my likes and believes.

I forgive myself as my beingness, my innocence, that I have accepted and allowed myself to abdicate responsibility and life awareness because I would rather push blame onto the other and for doing so on automation and without thinking.

I forgive myself as my beingness, my innocence, that I have accepted and allowed myself to push blame on another as a way to socialize to prove that I am “with” or that I “know” and that I am popular and in the awareness or that I am cool, where I would confirm that YES I have been properly brainwashed to accept blame in any form.

I forgive myself as my beingness, my innocence, that I have accepted and allowed myself to make absolute and “hard” statements in attacking another in blame, making it difficult to dissolve and forgive properly the point.

I forgive myself as my beingness, my innocence, that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear to not have blame because then I would not know how to act or be.

I forgive myself as my beingness, my innocence, that I have accepted and allowed myself to not know who I am without blame.

I forgive myself as my beingness, my innocence, that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear to talk to people in fear of pushing my blame in relation to having someone to present me something that I might in relation to, feel inferior, and then the need to blame.

I forgive myself as my beingness, my innocence, that I have accepted and allowed myself to always blame that which is the strongest or in the lead.
I forgive myself as my beingness, my innocence, that I have accepted and allowed myself to always blame the ruling and superior part.

I forgive myself as my beingness, my innocence, that I have accepted and allowed myself the need to blame like it was a need for the strongest drug.

I forgive myself as my beingness, my innocence, that I have accepted and allowed myself to participate in backchats and conspiracy about who of this world to blame, that the elite is to blame or that someone else than me is more of a responsible position and they would be blamed and judged for their being and position.

I forgive myself as my beingness, my innocence, that I have accepted and allowed myself to think that some positions automatically qualify someone for blame, like to be a head of state or a royalty – that would in my understanding, qualify for me going into blame against them.

I forgive myself as my beingness, my innocence, that I have accepted and allowed myself to blame my future.

I forgive myself as my beingness, my innocence, that I have accepted and allowed myself to blame my parents for me being schizophrenic.

I forgive myself as my beingness, my innocence, that I have accepted and allowed myself to be blinded by blame – meaning I would blame anyone for anything.

I forgive myself as my beingness, my innocence, that I have accepted and allowed myself to love the action of blame.

I forgive myself as my beingness, my innocence, that I have accepted and allowed myself to like my action of blame.

I forgive myself as my beingness, my innocence, that I have accepted and allowed myself to think that the inferior has got reason to blame.

I forgive myself as my beingness, my innocence, that I have accepted and allowed myself to fail to see how deep the design of blame really go.

I forgive myself as my beingness, my innocence, that I have accepted and allowed myself for failing to truly question my blame.

I forgive myself as my beingness, my innocence, that I have accepted and allowed myself to leave behind some fragments of spite or judgment of pre-program within my mind, just some tiny traces, that would let my blame design know instantly what this is and then take this essence and restart my blame.

I forgive myself as my beingness, my innocence, that I have accepted and allowed myself to blame people who have lots of money.

I forgive myself as my beingness, my innocence, that I have accepted and allowed myself to allow for blame to create its own nest and survival within my mind – and by doing that it creates a trap where it locks me in the mind and traps me – as the blame is a part of me.


I forgive myself as my beingness, my innocence, that I have accepted and allowed blame to flow within me.

I forgive myself as my beingness, my innocence, that I have accepted and allowed me to blame systems externally and failing to see how these systems are rooted in myself internally.

I forgive myself as my beingness, my innocence, that I have accepted and allowed myself to become depressed by my state of blame.

I forgive myself as my beingness, my innocence, that I have accepted and allowed to go into a psychosis and affection of my blame.

I forgive myself as my beingness, my innocence, that I have accepted and allowed blame to make my beingness addict to blame from me making a absolute choice and to channel from massive energies with great intent and force in my mind and being into blaming and hatting my parents and my family, together with system structure such as religion and politics.

I forgive myself as my beingness, my innocence, that I have accepted and allowed myself to feel confused by blame.

I forgive myself as my beingness, my innocence, that I have accepted and allowed myself to feel agitated by blame.

I forgive myself as my beingness, my innocence, that I have accepted and allowed myself to make this absolute statement about hating and resenting my parents and larger family from how I was raised and programmed when I was a child.

I forgive myself as my Beingness, my Innocence, that I have accepted and allowed to abdicate responsibility from waking up in the mornings, where I resist getting up and start my day in the mornings and within this to refuse to take a full and complete responsibility for my life and my being.

I forgive myself as my Beingness, my Innocence, that I have accepted and allowed to resist getting out of bed in the morning from fear of facing stuff in my day that are tough and difficult that I fear to have to deal with, and rather go into blame of pre-program instead of standing up and dealing with it, out of responsibility.

I forgive myself as my Beingness, my Innocence, that I have accepted and allowed to refuse to see the simplicity of blame and how blame is simply a abdicating of responsibility, once I can take myself back within this, and find that what is best for all within responsibility – that is when I reverse the blame into responsibility and empowerment.


Within this work I come to realize that blame is abdicating of responsibility. And when I see myself shift into blame – I should do the “opposite” to embrace the situation and move into take a deeper responsibility for myself within it.



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Re: Tormod's blogg

Postby tormod » 08 Oct 2019, 16:00

https://tormodhvgj.wordpress.com/2019/1 ... e-to-self/

Day 848 – true to self

I forgive myself as my Beingess, my Innocence, that I have not accepted or allowed myself to fully real eyes how self-honesty goes deeper into the physical, into matter, into essence of me, and I feel lost and disengaged and alone, where I need to apply the tools, of breathing, self-awareness, self-forgiveness, and slowing down in the moment, because it’s simply life process evolving and moving within and without of myself and as the deeper/new levels of self is uprooted, and I am watching the calculated consequences of abdicating responsibility of life essence play itself out, in media, and in my day, I find that I must stay true to me, true to life, stay real with my applications and be the one pluss.

Here I forgive myself as my Being, my Innocence, that I have accepted and allowed myself for the negative chatter in the back of my head that is saying that “I am not worthy of standing”, “I am just a scrub”, I am simply a depressed schizophrenic”, “No need for me in this life” – from today; knowing myself of being stable and integrity as being as life, where I feel like bending my knees down in submission to the mind chatter, to simply fall and surrender, where I take a inbreathe and I chose to stand, firmly, and stable and rather surrender myself to that of self-honesty.

I will forgive the negative chatter – when I see it – and strengthen myself with positive affirmations. There is a time for everything.

And I forgive myself as my Beingness, my Innocence, that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear to fall, where I fear to not be able to see and notice the points that I need to properly forgive and released within, and I fear to fall on my own knees – to obey some lie – some mind chatter – of non-reality.

Within this I find it hot like a potato (?) the idea of me standing and for me to remain standing and not fall, because that is my continued proof of pudding – it’s my making and healing of me – from the desteni tools that are proving to work. And even if I should fall, I can again (I-gain) rise up and learn from that falling and stand more secure.

We are all individually a infinite deep well of truth. Writing and self forgiveness – as self discovery – is needed over all.



Investigate : desteni



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Re: Tormod's blogg

Postby tormod » 20 Oct 2019, 17:41

https://tormodhvgj.wordpress.com/2019/1 ... mind-mode/


Day 849 – survival mind mode


“How to be in this world – but not of this world”



Looking at this statement and pondering what it means, and how to be clear about the meaning of these words. To be able to be in this world we all need money to survive. And living the life that I do this means that I don’t have to worry about my survival. I have a steady income and I have some consistent supportive routines around this point. But to be able to be, and live in this world everyone needs an income. But how to not be of this world – that is the hard part and I would like to break this down into the smallest denominators I can.



To not be of this world, could mean that I don’t take on all the shit that is here. I do not participate in the normal stuff that is accounted as normal. Normal being worshipping a God, or getting drunk every weekend, to do weed, to use porn, to talk gossip, to blame others for my misfortune, to judge and to be a troll, to act out of fear. To separate and to abuse. That which we know to be normal – and that is quite insane and horrible if we look at it.



So, I choose to be in this world, to give of my solutions like I do here with this blog, instead of drinking beer or watching porn, I do the dishes or write a blog or I read a book. I go through my mind in self forgiveness, again and again. Rinse and repeat like it is a martial art.



And I step out of the box, the white light energy grid, the unconscious that keep us down, into separation and abuse, I forgive myself in honesty until I can stand as a self-support as physical realness – with focus on my body my body, my temple, my beingness. Where I can use my mind to test stuff out, to plan, prepare and to prevent. To use my mind constructively – not as an excuse to gossip or blame or judge or suppress and escape. But rather to for-give.



I choose to stand as the living body and being, the living word outside the white light energy grid, because the white light is part of what has been holding us down for so long – again, in separation and abuse. The real deal, the true salvation has been resting within, and is to be lived at the ultimate solution, from within t the without – creation of a real heaven for all – from within self – lived and expressed out to reality.



So, to be in this world – yes, I am living on planet earth and breathing and pulsing so, BUT I do not want to take part in the mind games and abuse that has existed as our reality.

So still for may people it is clear that they live in survival, the billions that live life in poverty and misery. Or the billions of animals that suffer – for them it is still survival. And this weight of survival has been holding us all (!) down under the spell from mind consciousness – white light energy grid. So, we must let go of the program of survival – to be able to change our reality. We must be able to step out of our box to be able to see clear how we can be change.

I look at my own experience: To be in the game of weed, to smoke weed, I knew only weed, and I only wanted to do weed. I was addicted to it. From understanding it I was then able to end the addiction. In the game of survival, one knows only survival and will fight for it to the bitter end. One is addicted to the survival programming. Failing to see that both weed and survival (in different ways) are PROGRAMS of mind.To end the survival programing - one must understand it.



And it is up to us all to realize self, beyond our mind, beyond minds programs, to stay in physical awareness as the flesh, as the physical reality, the awareness of self, and be the living word of change.



So that I can show people that are living in mind systems, like survival, that such mind systems are keeping us all down in lesser then. To be occupied in mind games is a great poison of our world. Its time we start to realize that individually and collectively life the veil of the white grid, and unite, cooperate and live the best version of self.



The very most interesting part of this is to look at how for example I ended my weed addition from understanding the addiction from my mind systems (polarity, thought, imagination, believe etc) I was able to end my addiction to this weed mentality – from understanding it.

What are we possibly looking at if people can understand their survival mind programs that are keeping them at where they are, at survival?

What if people and all of life that live in survival mode – was to understand that the very most important key that keep them down in that state of survival – is because of a mind program?

What qualities might we start to see, if people, and all of life, started changing from within this awareness ?

Investigate : desteni



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Re: Tormod's blogg

Postby tormod » 02 Nov 2019, 22:27

https://tormodhvgj.wordpress.com/2019/1 ... 50-sneaky/


Day 850 – SNEAKY




I realize today, that I am living a specific pattern from years back. It is a real tough pattern that I believe blends a bit with my schizophrenia and mixes itself with some believes and addiction systems and whips there is the sneaky character.



From I was very young I learned to steal. I do not know from WHO I learned to steal but I started very early to take a few kroners here and there. This would go on systematically since I was 7 or 8 years old, and it would blend with my schizophrenia systems – or at least that is how I see it.



Today, more than 30 years later I like to say that this time is past me – it’s gone. And though I have ended the stealing, I still find today that system character of being a sneak. Like a thief that would sneak in on something – take something and hide it. Back then it was for the adrenaline rush and the experience. Today my mind uses this system – this error to sneak in new thoughts and new systems into me – to further occupy and possess my mind and my conscious with thoughts, feelings & emotions – the holy triangle of mind’s dope & cravings.



One more time. Today I catch myself in sneaky sabotage systems – where my mind tries to sneak in desires, positivity, spite, pity, blame, fear, worry or ANY sort of ENERGY MIND SYSTEM into my world – to pollute my awareness – to fog and make my reality complicated and metaphysical.



I notice that the sneaky character (that is a personality/system within me) wants to seduce me by promising experiences and escaping, from my pain and troubles, with feelings and emotions – like selling dope to myself/my ego. It’s the addiction ticket.



So I will note this and take onto myself to end this system of sabotage. I can reverse it and drive it back to the physical – through self for-giveness – because I am the one who started it and created it – and I am the ONLY one who can truly deal with it – to forgive it and live the best solution – after having properly forgiven it. So I will look at my addiction to adrenaline in particular and the sneaky character that wants to sneak in the system remedy to clutter my awareness. Because I do NOT allow for this system to take root – to poison my awareness – any further.



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Re: Tormod's blogg

Postby tormod » 12 Nov 2019, 18:34

https://tormodhvgj.wordpress.com/2019/1 ... c-of-self/


Day 851 – The Magic of Self




I was born schizophrenic. It was “in the cards” for my reincarnation lol… In the west we are not used to use words such as reincarnation – hey, at least not when I grew up! That being said, growing up as schizophrenic I sure did find the best family and probably country and time to do so.



What I want to convey to you here, is the solutions to my illness. Schizophrenia is a serious illness of mind and self. Schizophrenia is basically when there are 2 or 3 personalities within self and mind that are at the same time trying to be in control and direction of self and body. There is a war within between these personalities in the mind/self. From this internal war – there is then the symptoms of voices in the head, hallucinations, paranoia, pain, conspiracy of thought, confusion and lots of problems within ones living. What has been common with me also – is that I tend to project out of myself – new mind units – personality platforms – so that I would have to answer for 3 or 4 different minds. That is also quite disturbing and stressful way to live. The psychosis or war in oneness mind is most often activated in new situations with new people.



That is the basic of how my schizophrenia have been playing out.



So, what are my solutions to this advanced illness?



For me to start with my medication was very important. For a very long time I worked against the doctor’s recommendations, and medication. So, for me to start to cooperate with the doctor about medication and ending my own usage of drugs, alcohol and porn – was essential.



The second part that I will present here is without comparing equally as important. And that Is to start to work on understanding self. In order to understand self – I must forgive myself. It is the self that needs to be forgiven – by self. This can be a challenging pill to swallow for many but if you look at it – what have you possibly got to lose from for- giving yourself? And what do you possibly have to gain?

I am telling you from my experience that self-forgiveness is a real and ultimately super power to heal self – from within. To understand self as mind and at the same time you find the grounding and stability as the physical of self – the flesh – and to let go of the metaphysical/imagination/mind. It’s the job of a lifetime and its brilliant. An endless empowerment potential.



There are also many, other ways to add to self-process that will heal one. Things like walking in nature, painting, cold bath, writing, reading books, making blogs, to preform in some way, to glue and dig and bake self into a new self. To change from ones preprograming. To change from the destructive and abusive self that we have been, as separation, and inequality. To bring everything here back to self and into oneness and equality. Or equilibrium if you like. It is us and it is now.





So, if you know of schizophrenia here is my advice, cooperate with the doctors. And be certain that you at the same time – start new things, like jogging, swimming, painting, baking, cooking, several new activities. One must simply do it. Consistently.



For me to write out mind constructs with walking the desteni I process, and to learn to forgive myself and bring all of me into – yes, an equilibrium, from forgiving the polarity and energy addiction, letting go of fear and ego. To become a better me, in thought word and deed.



For me today writing and speaking self-forgiveness – to me – for me – is the best medication.

I do still have medication from my doctor, and I have a stable and sound relationship to that, it is what I need for me to function better. So, to add to that at the same time – is writing out my mind, to over time, quantum forgive myself, to learn what is self-honesty. To bath in the ocean, to work with my hands, to cook, clean, play and sing.



Self-forgiveness and the desteni I process have changed me and saved me as much as the medication have. And I am grateful for the existence of both for my support and well-being.

Like I say there there are many ways to support to self – be sure to find yours. Pleas ask me if anything is unclear. We must be here for each other.



Medicine can keep me afloat, keep my head above the water – but that is not a comfortable way to live just like that – so with desteni I process I am able to rise myself up, and become responsible, creative, caring, honest, understanding and forgiving self.



Give time to investigate : Desteni




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