https://anthonyfield.wordpress.com/2019 ... or-future/
DAY 11 – WANTING TO PLAN FOR FUTURE
I’ve had many moments where I think way too much about how a future potential scenario will happen. And, how am I going to handle it. It could be a moment that may not happen for another 30 years, or so, but it seems like such a big deal, that I want to prepare myself for it.
These moments where I desire to plan/prepare meticulously – I’ve realised these moments are a culmination of not trusting in myself to handle/respond to a future moment effectively. And, believing I need a whole bunch of planning/preparation, and believing I need the script figured out beforehand, otherwise I will fall and crumble when that future moments comes, or eventually comes.
A lot of moments are like that, I realise, where we simply do not trust ourselves enough to see things through. And we don’t trust in our abilities, and we judge ourselves way too much, and way too harshly. And look down upon ourselves. And see ourselves as weak. Weak, and unable to possibly succeed or do what’s necessary in a moment or situation.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that I need to prepare/plan things meticulously, otherwise I will fail miserably, turn things into a disaster.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to undermine my capabilities to respond effectively in a given moment, or even in an unexpected moment or situation.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to desire a script to exist in case/if any potential event/situation occurs in my future.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that I am not quick enough to respond effectively in a moment.
I commit myself to trust in myself, I commit myself to trust in my own abilities, I commit myself to trust in my own response-time/action-time in any moment.
I see, realise and understand that any script I come up with that I believe will make a future moment easier, while could assist, does NOT take into consideration all unique dimensions of a future moment, and so either way I will need to respond/action effectively with the unforeseen angles/dimensions that come up in any future moment.